You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away
- Charles Mitchell -
"You Are My Sunshine"
-/-
Without You
By Ricchan
-/-
- Chapter 4 -
Tohru awoke on Wednesday morning and brushed her teeth, dressing in a white blouse and jeans. Before she left for the kitchen to help with breakfast, she touched her hair and felt that leaving it down was a bit too bland for the occasion. Rummaging around in her bag for something to dress it in, she fell upon a pale, cream-colored ribbon that had ridged edges.
"Huh? Since when did I have this?" she asked herself, but shrugged and tied it back at the nape of her neck when she couldn't recall, before going to the kitchen.
"Good morning!" Kazuma said cheerily, who was reading the newspaper while leaning against the wall.
"Ah, good morning,
did you sleep well?" Tohru asked him.
"Just fine,"
he smiled. "How about you?"
"Very well!"
Tohru laughed. "Where's Hana-chan?"
"Saki? She's
not feeling very well, so I let her sleep," Kazuma said. "My,
you look nice this morning."
"Ah! Yes, I have my lunch
with Yuki this afternoon," Tohru smiled. "It's not too
casual, is it?"
"No, not at all," Kazuma laughed.
"You look lovely."
Tohru blushed. "What would you like for breakfast, Kazuma-san?" she asked.
"Fried eggs, miso soup, rice, just the usual," he replied, but quickly changed the subject. "So, where are you going this afternoon, do you know?"
"I honestly have no
idea," said Tohru, finding a pan and eggs. "I'm meeting
Yuki at the bus station today, and he's deciding where we're
eating."
"Ah, how nice; the poor guy needs some romance.
I guess he's putting the moves on you!" Kunimitsu sang,
slipping into the kitchen as Tohru began cracking the eggs.
"Eh?" Tohru
said, splattering an egg rather forcefully on the edge of the pan in
surprise.
"Kunimitsu, my goodness," Kazuma chided.
"It's just a friendly luncheon."
Kunimitsu laughed in
reply as Tohru nervously chuckled while adding another egg.
She finished the breakfast and ate with them; Saki was still sleeping, but Kazuma promised to have Kunimitsu heat up something for her when she woke up, so Kazuma wouldn't burn the house down. Smiling, she pulled on her boots and left the house with a cheerful wave and a smile, and walked to the bus station.
Yuki was there, as
promised, in a pale grey sweater and black pants, with a white
tailored shirt peeking out at the sleeves, collar, and waist.
"Ah,
Honda-san! There you are!" he called, waving to her and
smiling.
"Good day!" Tohru said cheerily. "It's
nice to see you again."
"Haha, and you as well,"
Yuki replied with a slight laugh. However his voice fell silent as
he looked at Tohru. She looked back, confusedly.
"What's the
matter?" she asked.
"Oh, nothing,"
Yuki smiled. "I was just admiring that ribbon of yours, it's
very pretty."
"Oh, thank you!" Tohru said, and
blushed a little. "I felt that my hair needed a
little...pizazz, you know?"
"Well, shall we get
going?" Yuki asked, laughing a little at her and smiling.
"Yes,
of course!" said Tohru.
Yuki smiled and they began
on their way, walking side-by-side.
"So, umm...where are we
going?" Tohru asked after a small while.
"A restaurant,
of course," Yuki smirked with the mock reply.
"Hahaha, I knew
that," Tohru laughed. "Which one?"
"Just
something down the way, it has a good selection. We should be there
rather soon," Yuki replied. "You'll just have to wait and
see what I have planned."
Tohru smiled and went along with
it, and soon they came to a western building with a lovely stone
facade, where a man stood in wait.
As they approached, the
man seemed to notice them, and his face lit up.
"Yuki! Yuki,
over here!" he called; his voice was warm and friendly, and it
sent warm fuzzies through Tohru as she heard it, although she didn't
know why.
"Hey there! I see you made it okay," said Yuki. "Well, Tohru, I guess you should be...re-introduced here, if you don't remember."
"Re-introduced?"
Tohru said, looking over the man. He was handsome, as Yuki was, but
his face was rounder and more cheerful-looking, with an air of
boyishness just barely hanging about him. His eyes, which looked her
over, alert and alive, were a chocolatey brown, and silky,
straw-colored hair curled about his ears and the mid of his
neck.
"Tohru, this is my cousin, Momiji. We went to school
together, remember?" Yuki said, gesturing towards him.
Tohru
looked at the man again, and after a while of thought, the features
of the young boy hanging around in the far reaches of her memory came
out of the mature face.
"Ah! Yes, now I
remember!" Tohru laughed. "So you were the one who Yuki
wanted to invite?"
"That's right," Momiji said,
grinning. "It's nice to see you again, it's been ages,
hasn't it?"
Tohru nodded in agreement.
"Well,
shouldn't we talk inside? We have reservations, right?" Momiji
said, looking at Yuki.
"Ah, right, right," said Yuki.
"We should get our table. This way, Honda-san."
Tohru followed him up the
steps, Momiji beside her; as Yuki spoke with the receptionist inside,
she couldn't help but notice that Momiji was staring at her with a
strange sort of loneliness in his face that wouldn't give.
"This
way," the server announced suddenly, and they were shown to
their private table.
"Wow...this is...this
is really fancy..." said Tohru, completely overwhelmed as she
sat down. "I hope I dressed formally enough..."
"You're
fine," Yuki laughed, taking his seat. "Really, it's
nothing to worry about."
Tohru smiled and blushed a little.
"Ahh, I'm just
totally in the mood for some nice, red wine right now..." Momiji
sighed, sitting at the table and hanging his coat off the back of his
chair. "Tohru, what do you like to drink?"
"Eh?
Me?" said Tohru, a bit startled by Momiji's informality. "Oh,
umm, I don't really like alcohol...I guess I'll just have
water."
"Wirklich? Ha, aber das ist wie du, schätze
ich..." said Momiji thoughtfully.
"Eh...?" Tohru said, utterly confused. "Wha...what did you say?"
"Ah, nevermind,"
Momiji laughed. "I speak German, so pardon me if I sometimes
switch and you can't understand me."
"Wow, you speak
German?" Tohru said, pleasantly suprised.
"Ja!"
Momiji smiled, closing his eyes as he did so. "My mother was
German, actually, so I get it from her."
"That's...that's
so amazing!" Tohru said, her eyes lighting up. "Momiji-san,
that's very interesting!"
Momiji began to
laugh.
"So, you in the mood for a drink today, Yuki?" he
asked.
"No, I don't think
so," said Yuki, looking over the menu, "but if you insist
on getting something, I might have a glass. Are you sure you just
want water, Tohru?"
"Yes, I really don't like alcohol,"
she said, laughing a little.
"If you ask me, you don't seem
the type to be able to hold your liquor," Momiji laughed.
"Eh?
I-I'm really like that?" Tohru said, a bit nervously.
"B-because if you wanted to, you know, go out for a drink or
something, I'd be okay for that, really, I would!"
Momiji burst into laughs, while Yuki chuckled lightly into his hand. Tohru just stared at them nervously, before the server came by and took their drink orders. Yuki ordered an expensive-sounding bottle of wine and glasses for all three of them, at Momiji's insistance. Once the server brought the bottle by, Momiji poured Tohru a glass and she hesitantly took a sip.
"Ah! That's so lovely!" she said, smiling.
"It's good stuff,"
said Momiji, "although my German blood insists there's nothing
better than a nice, stout beer!"
Tohru and Momiji laughed,
while Yuki calmly took a sip of his wine.
"I don't think I've
ever seen you drinking beer, Momiji," he said.
"Ah, yeah, but still..." Momiji said, pouting a little. "Anyways! How about appetizers?"
"That sounds great."
said Yuki. "Tohru, being our guest, what would you like?"
"Oh!
Umm, really, I don't know..." said Tohru. "I've never
been here, really. What would you suggest?"
"I like the
potato skins, they're good here," Yuki said. "What about
you, Momiji?"
"Definately the lettuce wraps!"
Momiji said cheerfully. "Would you like those, Tohru?"
"Umm...whatever you want," Tohru smiled. "I wonder what to get for lunch, though?"
"Whatever you want,"
Yuki smiled. "You're our guest today, after all."
Tohru
blushed a little and smiled sheepishly.
"Thank you very much,
Yuki," she said, and hid her face behind her menu. Momiji
laughed and took another sip of his wine.
They ended up ordering
some lettuce wraps, and Tohru deliberated over her entree while they
munched on them. Then, she got up.
"Excuse me, I have to use
the bathroom," she said quietly.
"You know where it is?"
Yuki asked.
"Yes, I can see it," she smiled, blushing a
little. Off she went, the slight limp in her leg visible in the way
the ribbon in her hair bobbed up and down.
There was silence as
Momiji played with the small crispy noodles that the chicken filling
came in and arranged them into random patterns. Then, Yuki
spoke.
"So?" he said.
"So what?" Momiji
replied.
"So, has she changed at all?" Yuki asked.
Momiji was silent for a
moment, thinking.
"...no, I don't think so. Really...it's
almost like nothing's happened," he said after a while. "She's
still smiling like I used to know."
"Hard to believe that
Hatori erased her memory, isn't it?" Yuki said.
"...I
suppose," said Momiji. "I guess...if I started asking her
about all the things that we did together, she'd just get
confused."
He rested his hand against his left cheek for a
moment, and then took another sip of wine.
"Yeah, that's what
happened," Yuki said, "when I met her in the grocery store
and we had coffee together."
"I see," Momiji said
simply. "So...are you going to act like nothing's
happened?"
"Act how?" Yuki replied, confused.
"You
know...are you...going to keep this up, keep playing dumb,
and...become her friend again?" Momiji asked.
Yuki sat
thoughtfully, his dusky eyes fixed on a vague, invisible point that
was somewhere in the distance.
"I...don't just want
her to be a friend of mine again, Momiji," he finally said. "I
want her...to remember. To remember everything, all
the things we went through, all the moments we
shared...everything."
Momiji looked at him, a frozen
expression of half-shock on his face.
"Yuki...why in the
world would you want that?" he said.
Yuki gave him an
expression in return that mirrored Momiji's quite well.
"What do you mean,
'why in the world would I want it?'?" he said.
"I'm
back!" Tohru said, returning to the table and effectively
stopping their conversation.
"Ah, welcome back!" Momiji
said, quickly dropping his confused expression. "Did you find
your way okay?"
Tohru nodded. "No problems whatsoever," she replied.
"Have you figured out
what you want to order?" Yuki asked her.
"Well, I was
thinking that the coconut shrimp sounded really good, is that a good
idea?" she asked.
"That's a great idea!" said Momiji. "I'm having a salad, myself."
"I see!" Tohru
laughed. "That sounds really good too. Do you like vegetables,
Momiji?"
"I'm a vegetarian, actually," Momiji
explained.
"Really?" said Tohru. Momiji nodded, and a
conversation was begun.
The meal wore on rather
normally, ordering their food and eating it. They had a rather
interesting conversation on violins, with Tohru gushing excessively
about Momiji's talent with the instrument after Yuki told her he was
a professional, despite the fact she had never actually heard him
play. A quick dessert of dark chocolate cake, and they were ready to
go.
"I think I can find my way back to Kazuma-san's house
from here," Tohru said, as they stood outside the
restaurant.
"Are you sure?" Yuki asked.
Tohru nodded,
with a slight laugh.
"Yes, I'm fine. Thank you so much for
inviting me, Yuki," she smiled.
"The pleasure was mine," Yuki said, an air of chivalry almost sounding in his voice.
"And it was really
wonderful to see you again, Momiji-san," she smiled. "Perhaps
sometime you could play for me?"
"I'd love to, really!"
said Momiji. "Say, next time, want to go out drinking?"
"Huh?
Me?" Tohru said, a bit flustered. "Oh, really, I don't
know! I guess!"
Momiji laughed.
"That
would be something, wouldn't it, Yuki? To see Tohru drinking beer.
Haha, it seems almost like an oxymoron!"
Yuki smiled a
crooked, half-hearted smile while Tohru laughed a little.
"Oh, I don't know.
That's a rather funny thing to say, Momiji-san," she
said.
"Hahaha, I guess, but who knows? Maybe you can drink
more than I," he teased. "Until then, auf wiedersehen!"
Tohru smiled and laughed,
before waving and starting to walk down the street. Yuki and Momiji
watched her in silence as she cheerily went on her way, before
someone spoke.
"She seems so happy, doesn't she?" Momiji
commented. "Why do you want her to remember? Maybe she's
better off not knowing everything, and we can get along just
fine...becoming friends with her all over again, you know?"
"...don't you think it odd...that she went to Hatori herself and asked to forget everything?" said Yuki quietly, after some time. "She never told him. Tohru...something like that is totally unlike her, why do you think she did that?"
"...I don't know," Momiji said thoughtfully, looking at the ground.
There was another bought
of silence.
"Did you notice...that she called me 'Yuki'
today?" Yuki said unexpectedly.
"What does that
mean?" Momiji asked.
"Well, I asked her to call me
'Yuki' when I met her. She's normally so formal in her way of
speaking, she'd have a hard time remembering not to include the
'-san'," he said, then began to smile. "But...she calls me
'Yuki' automatically, isn't that something? Maybe it's a sign...that
there's something beneath her that still remembers
everything."
Momiji laughed a little. "Strange logic
you've got there, Yuki," he said.
"Yes, but really,
Momiji!" he said, getting a little bit defensive. "Think
about it! By the time we had graduated...what had happened to her,
after the fall?"
Momiji thought.
"Well, Akito was
being a lot kinder to people, already. She took a while to recover,
right?" he said.
"Yes, but really...would that have a
huge impact on somebody? Enough to make them want to forget
everything?" Yuki said, a slightly frustrated look on his face.
"She didn't...break down, like Kana or...your mother did,
Momiji."
Momiji sadly looked at the floor upon the mention of
his mother.
"Momiji...I want to find out why she did what she did. There's got to be a way to make her remember. Then...maybe she can tell us what was going on," he said.
Momiji was silent for a
little while, thoughtfully staring at his feet as he leaned against
the wall.
"Momiji...?" Yuki said, looking at him.
"I
guess...having Tohru remember me...would be nice..." he finally
said, a slight smile on his face. "To have her look at me, and
smile and...be there. Like she used to."
He sighed
and looked at the sky, but then looked at Yuki with a slightly
worried expression.
"But Yuki...Hatori told me...after my
mother's memories were erased, that the smallest things could bring
back a memory, good or bad. The same thing...could go with Tohru,"
he said. "But you know, Yuki...maybe she was hiding something
from us...and something could go wrong. We could bring back the
wrong memories, and...we could lose her...for good."
There
was silence again.
"I know," Yuki said. "But...there's
risks with everything. And...this is something we need to know.
Tohru...if it was something she was hiding, maybe...maybe there's
something we could have done to help her, something we can do
to help her. Don't you think?"
Momiji smiled a bit, looking
at the sky once again. A cloud lazily drifted past.
"I
suppose..." he said, trailing off into near silence. "So,
what are you going to do?"
"I'll try anything,"
said Yuki, and he began to smile a bit. "I'll...introduce her
to everyone, all over again! Maybe that'll do something!"
"Meeting
everyone again? That'll be something," said Momiji. "Even
Kyo?"
Yuki was struck silent for
a moment, thinking of an answer. Momiji sensed his hesitation and
didn't interrupt.
"...yes. Even Kyo...but only when the time
is right," he said finally, his eyes downcast.
"Yeah...but
maybe...he doesn't even want to see her," Momiji said
quietly.
"That's a rather cold thing to say," Yuki said,
looking at Momiji sternly. "You know...he does love her, I'm
not ignorant. I'm not...doing this just for myself, you know. I
want her to remember for you, and Kyo, and all the rest of us."
Momiji smirked a little.
"Yun-kun, the knight in shining armor," he laughed. "How chivalrous!"
"Momiji, cut that
out," Yuki laughed, sensing he was just teasing him. "Well,
I'm off."
"Where are you going?" Momiji asked.
"The
Main House; I have some things to take care of," he said.
"Be
careful, Yuki, okay?" Momiji said, a worried half-smile on his
face.
Yuki nodded, and began walking.
He arrived at the Main
House some time later, strolling among the trees that were dressed in
the reds, golds and oranges of autumn. However, he did not notice
this, as he had a task to do.
He headed towards a small garden in
the far corner of the estate, where the leaves were scattered
hap-hazardly on the stone path.
Yuki walked slowly towards a small building with a stone ridge leading to it, where a latticed wall stood, shadows of the trees around it casting dappled light on the wood.
He sat on the
stone in front of the wall, but did not face it; for a moment, he
felt like he was in a Catholic confessional of some sort, like the
kind he saw in the movies. But that strange thought aside, he took a
deep breath and spoke to the room's sole occupant.
"Kyo?"
No answer. Yuki was silent for a bit longer, biting his lip and looking at the stone, feeling unexpectedly nervous. He took another breath.
"Kyo,
I know you can hear me. There's something I have to tell you."
Still
no answer. Yuki sighed deeply and scowled a little, closing his
eyes, but he spoke once more.
"Kyo...Tohru's back."
In the far corner of the room, there was a shifting in the shadows.
