The Lady of the Lake
So here we are, chapter 13, fittingly penned and posted on Halloween, ah the irony.
It was a very sad chapter last chapter, losing Darrien. This chapter...is a tiny bit happier...but it has its sad moments too.
It features Cato, trying to empathise. Cato being a jealous jerk. Finnick being a distant support and Sky...realising just who she should be hating.
We got an INCREDIBLE 25 reviews. You guys rock...and I'm glad you shared my pain at losing Darrien.
As always review responses are at the end of the chapter.
Chapter 13
I don't sleep well.
I don't know how many times I start awake during the night, gasping, sweating, crying. I can't push away the memory of Darrien's blue eyes, his voice, or the red dribble of blood that had leaked from his mouth as he lay there dying on the ground.
Which is how dawn, and Cato find me, sitting on a rock by the lakes edge watching the first rays of light stretch across the sky.
Finnick had just sent me a sponsor gift, a small tub of burn ointment for my arms, which I'd rubbed in thankfully, and a small note.
'I'm sorry, love – F' is all it said, but it was all that needed to be said.
He makes no noise to be quiet as he moves to stand beside me, and I make no move to draw my weapons as I look at the sky.
"In District 2," he begins roughly, "We build tombs, tombs of solid stone, our stone, monuments that stand the test of time so we do not forget those who have been before. There is a special crypt for those who…fall in the Hunger Games." I feel his eyes flick towards me, "I do not know if it is different in your District."
"It is," I say quietly, and shift slightly as he sits beside me on the rock, "When someone dies, in our District, we take a small wooden boat out, out to the current that flows out into the ocean and we sing them back to the sea. Those who die…in the Hunger Games…" my throat tightens up.
He glances at me again and clears his throat roughly, "Tell me?"
"Before the Dark Days, before Panem, the bodies of warriors were laid out in style on small wooden boats, and they were set alight before being sent out into the sea as the tide turns…carrying them away." I smile sadly, "Everyone gathers on the shore, and we sing them back to the sea."
"Sing them back to the sea?" I can feel his blue eyes on my face, "What does that mean?"
"There's a song, we've sung it for as long as we can remember…" I smile sadly, "You see, to us, the sea is everything. It sustains us, helps us, but it also takes from us too. Nothing is ever certain. It gives us life, and it takes us away. Most of us spend the majority of our lives on the water rather than on land. It just…makes sense that when we die…that our bodies are sent there. A part of that great…cycle."
"So…they will sing Darrien back to the sea?" He asks cautiously, still watching me.
"Yes," I whisper, "The Capitol will send him home, perhaps they already have…and they will sing him to the sea."
"They…won't wait for you?" Cato asks carefully, "In case you…win?"
"I don't think anyone believes that I'm going to win." I chuckle hoarsely, "Hell, most of the time I don't even believe it. No they never wait…"
He frowns slightly at that and then hops off the rock, striding off into the forest.
"Where are you going?" I call after him, twisting around, "Cato!"
He doesn't answer and I turn back to the bright sunrise, shaking my head.
I sit there for a while before sliding off my rock. The sun is coming up properly now, and it's time for me to go scavenging. My food is running dangerously low, and I no longer have the safety net of the Career supplies. Things are going to get tight before the end, and I'm grateful for all the reading I'd done, as well as the time spent at the survival stations.
But I've barely taken a step when Cato returns from the forest with his arms full of wood and kindling.
I blink at him, confused and he jerks his head at me, "Come on."
"You know I'm not a puppy, to trail behind you on command, right?"
"That depends," he smirks at me, "Would you obey if I asked you to roll over, sit, or beg?"
"You're abominable." I inform him, a smile curling up my lips despite myself, "I loathe you."
"I don't believe you for a moment." And he walks off, and after a moment of hesitation I follow.
"Good girl," he mocks, and I punch his arm, making him laugh as I wince at the impact.
I'm grateful for his attempts at humour, Darrien's death weighs me down like a sodden cloak, suffocating me with painful feelings and regrets. But Cato is trying to cheer me up, I know that…even if he is terrible at it. I wonder when it was that I stopped thinking of him as the monster from 2, or when he stopped, or if he stopped, thinking of me as the weakling from 4 who embarrassed his alliance plans.
We walk in comfortable silence along the lake, until we're a good distance from my hideaway, and out bordering the main body of the lake.
There he stops and throws down his supplies before crouching by them.
"Cato?" I kneel beside him, looking between him and the mass of sticks, grass and wood curiously, "What are we doing?"
"We," he offers me a stick, "Are building a raft."
"A raft?" I arch my eyebrow at him.
"Just a small one…" he pointedly doesn't look up at me, "We're going to…scratch Darrien's name onto it, set it on fire…and you're going to sing him back to the…well not the sea. The lake is the best I can do."
I stare at him, completely poleaxed, and then I fling my arms about him, holding him tight even as he tenses under my sudden need for physical affection.
It's the most beautiful, awkward and endearing thing I've ever heard of, and my eyes fill with tears.
"You're something, you know that?" I mutter at him, pressing a kiss to his cheek, "One moment I think…you are just the living end, and the next…you say something like that."
"It's no big deal." He shrugs awkwardly, "He was one of mine, a Career. He deserved better than to go out like that."
"He did." I draw back and slowly begin helping him make the raft.
It's only a few moments later that I hear a soft chiming and we both look up to see a silver canister floating down to us.
Cato puts down his sticks and catches it, ignoring the 4 on the side as he cracks it open. Taking the note, he passes it to me before retrieving what is inside.
As he explores I unfold the note from Finnick.
'You sure know how to pick 'em. Sing our boy home love, - F'
"Thank you Finnick," I whisper, and look over at Cato who is holding some basic supplies both for constructing a rudimentary raft and for setting it ablaze.
"I think your mentor approves," Cato says dryly, waving a stick at me.
"Of your idea yes, of you…" I pull a face, "Not really."
"Do I need his approval?" Cato snorts arrogantly, carefully tying together sticks, "You do know Finnick Odair is known for being a ladies man right?"
"So?"
"So…" he shrugs, puffing his chest slightly, "He's all nice…but he's not here…"
"Are you…" I blink at him, "What are you saying Cato?"
"Just, don't get your hopes up on that score." He glances at me, "He's attentive now, cause he's your mentor."
"Cato…" I give him a look, "Are you…jealous?"
"No!" he growls the word out and promptly snaps a twig in half.
I look from him to the broken stick and then back again.
He shoots me a glare and huffs.
"You sure?" I ask, feeling my lips curling up, "So if I said…Finnick and I shared a bed together the night before the games you would….eep!"
I don't get to finish my sentence as Cato snarls and lunges forward, knocking me back onto the ground, and almost crushing me as he covers me with his own considerable muscle mass.
"You what?" his eyes are dangerous, and I remember that this man IS dangerous. Just yesterday I'd seen him snap a boys neck, just…snap it.
He looks at me and swears, reeling back.
"Don't…don't look at me like that."
"Like what?" It's the second time he's said that to me, but it's a very different case this time around.
"You fear me." He sneers, and this time I know it's directed at himself, "You think…I'm some kind of animal. A monster."
"You…do have a rather spectacular temper Cato." I remind him, sitting up once more, but I relent as he gives me a hurt look, "I don't think you're a monster. You're…you're who you were trained to be. But you're not…mindless…and I don't think you take pleasure in killing for the sake of it."
He shakes his head, not looking at me.
"It was platonic." I tell him softly, shifting to sit beside him, leaning against him, comforting him in the only way he could allow and understand; physically, "Finnick and Darrien," my throat closes up at the thought of my fallen District partner, "they were my brothers. Finnick always will be."
"Am I?" he glances at me, "Like a brother to you?"
"Do you want to be?" I ask, wrinkling my nose slightly, and smile as I feel some of the tension in him subside.
"No," he shakes his head, "Definitely not."
"I don't see you that way either," I say gently and kiss his cheek again, "Come on, let's get this raft built."
The dark mood shifts once more and I feel him relaxing into the task, once again sure of his place as the dominant, alpha male, not concerned with a threat, be they here or absent.
I think on our discussion as we build, and sigh softly.
I'd said in the interviews that Cato affected me, he still did, but with every encounter, every argument, kiss, touch, moment, I could feel myself growing more fascinated by the primal tribute.
If we weren't in the Hunger Games…
But we are, I ruthlessly remind myself of that, and push away the longing in my gut.
I plan to win. And at some point that means this fascinating, infuriating and strangely passionate man would have to die, either by my hand, or by one of the remaining Tributes.
The thought brings a pang to my heart, but I push it away, tying the last knot to the raft as Cato arranges the tinder and the small flat piece of wood that simply says; Darrien, loving brother and friend.
For a moment we both stare at our handiwork, a small raft with a single raised stick, holding Darrien's name bound to it. Neither of us is ready, or willing to let him go.
"He was a good man," Cato says softly and I look up at him, taking in the small pained frown, "He was loyal, to you and to me and the Careers. He kept the peace, he balanced us. He was…" and he barks a short pained laugh, "He was the water…cooling us, calming us…he washed away all that aggression that might have made us turn on one another. He was one of us. He was a Career, he was…pack."
He glances at me and then continues.
"He gave me his loyalty, and he gave you his love. And he gave Marvel both." He swallows, "I failed him. It was my duty as leader, to protect, to guard, to lead us…and when he needed me most, when he was there…protecting you, he was killed without even getting a chance to see who attacked him." He swallows, "For that I am…I shoulder that burden."
He looks at me as I shake my head.
"No." I say softly, "No, he always did what he thought was right. It is a crime…that he died the way he did." A tear trickles from my eye, "But it is not yours, and I don't think it is mine either...He did not deserve this…but we will remember him."
I pluck the solitary match that Finnick had supplied us with and drag it roughly against the wood, letting the flame flare up and then settle. For a moment I hold it in my hand and then I drop it onto the raft, "May the waves carry you home Darrien. As one day they will carry me."
Gently Cato sends off the raft, burning steadily and we watch as the lake currents carry it away from us.
"Sing…" he murmurs to me, and I almost jump as one of his large hands carefully takes one of mine in his.
Quietly I begin to sing, the lament reaching out over the waters, and then when I am finished, we watch for a moment more before slipping away.
Much as we would like to stay, the reality of the Hunger Games has well and truly sunk in.
We separate, Cato heading back towards where he left Clove and Marvel, and me towards my hideaway.
"I'll find you later," is the only thing he says before he vanishes into the shadow of the trees his footsteps disappearing.
I walk home, but halfway there I freeze as a little girl's scream fills the air.
"Katniss! Katniss! Help!"
I take off, my feet flying before I even think about it. I'm racing towards the sound, the breath thundering in my veins.
Katniss, I think and her name evokes a visceral surge of pain, hatred and hurt. She'd been cool to me in training, but I thought…we were friends.
Maybe that's why she didn't shoot me, I think, mind racing as my feet leap over a log, some sense of loyalty. Darrien didn't have any meaning for her.
I hear her voice before I see her, calling to Rue, the little girl from 11.
But when I do see her, it's already too late.
"No!"
She whirls, her bow trained on me, as Marvel crumples to the ground, pulling out the arrow from his throat as he gurgles, choking on his own blood. I ignore the weapon trained on me and run to his side, my hands trembling as I try to staunch the wound at his throat.
But there is nothing I can do, Marvel is jerking on my lap, his blood staining my hands and dribbling down onto my clothes and I feel my eyes welling with tears.
He's drowning in his own blood.
His eyes are wild, with fear and pain as he looks up at me, and I brush his hair softly, trying to soothe him as his body fights, desperate to breathe.
"Shhhh…" I croon, "Shhh, you'll be okay I promise, I promise."
He gurgles, the blood bubbling from his lips as he tries to choke out a word. Even though it's unintelligible I know what it is.
"He loved you…he loved you so much." I whisper, stroking his hair and his eyes soften, his body stops jerking, "Go to him now Marvel…tell him…tell him I love him."
A jerky nod and his eyes close as I kiss his forehead, the tears only beginning to fall as the cannon booms above me.
Too late.
Too late again.
Zara, Darrien, Marvel. It seems I'm only good enough to be there as people pass, to see young men and women my age die around me.
I sob bitterly over his body, not because I knew him well, but because I'd never really gotten the chance to. I'd loved him for how he'd treasured Darrien, how he guarded his back, protected him, loved him. Darrien's love was my love, and I knew the pain that it would have caused my District partner to see his lover end this way.
I cry because he never got a chance, neither of them got a chance.
I weep because they loved each other so much.
I look up as suddenly a song breaks into my concentration and I see Katniss, cradling little Rue in her arms, singing her something softly.
A moment later another cannon booms and Katniss begins to weep herself over the prone form of the tiny little girl.
Slowly I stand and walk over to her, not stopping even as her head snaps up and her hand reaches for her bow.
"Don't." I grit out, and yank the spear from Rue's small fragile body. She hisses at me, but I ignore her, carrying it back to Marvel, straightening him out and laying the spear in his hand.
"Does he deserve that?" She asks me, her voice choked, "He killed an innocent girl."
"You killed an innocent boy." I reply, looking back at her, seeing her confusion, "Darrien."
"He was a Career."
"He was my brother!" I scream at her, twisting into a crouch, "And you murdered him, when he was only coming to protect me!"
"I had to blow up the supplies!" Katniss shouts back, her face twisting, "I had to even us out. He would have seen me…just a few moments more and he would have and…I couldn't…He wasn't supposed to die!"
I turn away from her and she inches forward.
"You killed him."
"No…" she shakes her head, "My arrow didn't kill him, I just wanted him down so I could take the shot! No one was supposed to die!"
I stand and she moves to stand too and the two of us look at one another, both grieving, both hurting.
"I can't forgive you." I say softly, my voice trembling, "Not yet."
"I know," she says, tears tracking down her cheeks, "Neither can I."
I walk away, hearing Katniss fall back to her knees beside the little girl, and the sounds of gut wrenching sobs reach me.
My steps slow, and then stop and I turn back to look at the girl, grieving as I had done just yesterday.
I can't hate her. She is like me, fighting a losing battle. We will lose everything before this is done. And in the end, the real enemy are the people who brought us here to die.
And though my chest aches still at Darrien's loss, made raw by the newness of the wound, and aggravated by Marvel's death, there is peace there.
Somehow the most brutal killer of the games gave me peace.
He'd let me say goodbye.
He'd let me let him go.
She needed the same thing.
Slowly I walk back and crouch beside her. She looks at me, eyes wet but surprised.
"Peeta," I say softly and her eyes widen, "He's looking for you."
"Why-"
"Because…" I look at her, "He loves you. And right now. You need him." I touch her shoulder, and stand.
Her voice is faint as I disappear into the trees, but I hear it nonetheless.
"Thank you."
So passeth the good ship Darvel :(
Loopyloola - I do have a playlist for my story, mostly soundtrackesque tracks that make me think of certain scenes. I'm in mourning for Darrien too...very much so. But yes, Teesa is badass.
Livea - I hope you read the other chapters!
MoonlightDiva- Sadly Sky doesn't have much to do with Clove, but I love mentioning her :) Her involvement may be picking up in upcoming chapters.
mt- Thank you! I'm glad you like how different Sky is. I did try to make her unique xD which is hard. I hope you keep reading and reviewing my friend.
CatoSkyOBSESSED - I was bawling writing it, the sad music and the feels...I'm glad you like everyone, I'm trying to show that all the Tributes have their good and bad qualities. No one is evil..they're all just...kids stuck in the worst situation ever. I love your long reviews 3
Luli Cullen - Thanks! xoxo
SophiaLily1980 - Thank you! That's a huge compliment! And no you're not alone, I make playlists for everything.
bluetigers - I cried so much killing Darrien off, and as for Katniss...well we all know she's not perfect, but she's still our Katniss.
RoseMaple - Ahaha I appreciate your dedication in reviewing 11 and 12. I cried too...poor Darrien. and poor Marvel and Sky. And yes...that Cato huh? He's a problem xD A lovable one.
Azulish - I cried too! 333 And I'm sorry I update too fast.
DancingAroundAFire - Yay you're back! I'm sorry about being too fast, and about Darrien, and I hope you grow fonder of Sky and Cato in further chapters. There is a method to my madness I promise. And thank you. I treasure all your comments and critique.
Guest - Thank you! I appreciate it so much!
StardustIsMagic - Thank you love. It's so hard writing a fic when the original that inspires it is so heavily personal to a character ie Katniss. YOU already know and love her, and are therefore naturally disposed towards wanting her to succeed. I'm glad my characters touch you enough that you find yourself rooting for them too 3
ObsidianWind - I was growing attached to him too :( I hated killing him off so much. Huuuuuuuu :(
IamCharliedaughterofPoseidon - You are obviously correct as here is an update! I'm glad you liked the Sky/Cato moments! There will be more...many more :)
countrygirl1994 - Here is more good things for youuuu
madreader13 - Don't go crazy! Here is more!
Eve - Wow I'm glad you liked Darvel even with your dislike of Marvel. I was so sad writing it :( and yeah...sometimes life isn't fair. And I appreciate your obsession!
EGilly - She didn't know and love him like we did :( It's sad...so sad.
Its-A-Passion - 3 I know! I cried too...so much. SO MUCH. We all knew he would eventually have to die, but it sucks when we get there. Hope you liked Cato trying to be sensitive this chapter.
trinketlove - Poor Darrien :( Thank you though for your kind words :)
Luck Be Mine - Thank you! I'm glad it touched you a little bit :)
