Chapter 21:

Jane Bennet sat there smiling, listening to her sister announce that the man who still made her heart beat fast was coming over that afternoon to call on them, on her. She felt her heart rise to her throat and her voice almost failed her as she attempted to convince Lizzy that she was quite alright and unaffected. If her dear sister could only hear her heart beating fast—wondering why was he coming, could it be for her? Would that be enough—could she really forgive him for leaving her for months, could his appearance now make everything else forgotten?

Jane simply did not know and though she might seem calm to those around her, her mother chattering noisily with Lydia, Lizzy watching her from behind her book, Mary doing a poor attempt at the piano forte, and Kitty sneering at Lydia, who had taken her mother's attention away from her, in reality, all Jane wanted to do was to retreat herself and just think, or cry, or laugh, or mourn, or all of those, though preferably not all at once.

"Excuse me" said Jane, forcing a smile, "I believe I have a letter to finish and I should like to make good use of the lighting."

"Of course" said Lizzy, squeezing Jane's hand lovingly as she stood up. Jane gave her a weak smile and pretended to not notice that Lizzy saw right through her, but Jane did not care. She needed to be alone. She practically ran up to her room, shut the door, and rested her body against the door, her eyes shut and now wet with tears.

Mr. Bingley had left her. He had raised expectations all around him and then had left her to speculation and ridicule. Jane had called on his sister and she had snubbed her. Jane did not know what to make of it, but what she did know was that her heart still cared for him, and though a part of her wished she could be as strong as Lizzy who would surely put such a man in his place, that was not who Jane was. And when Mr. Bingley would call, she wanted to see for herself and determine then, if he was worthy of her and if her heart still beat for him. With the door finally closed and her sisters below the stairs, Jane allowed herself to feel the pain she had avoided all these months, for she knew that only when we feel pain, can we then open up to feel love again.

PNPNPNPNPNP

Mr. Darcy called as promised, accompanied by Mr. Bingley and Colonel Fitzwilliam. He knocked on the door and then took a step back, waiting for the footman to answer him. They were welcomed in warmly by the footman and then by Mrs. Bennet who came to greet them by the door, she looked hesitant to approach Mr. Darcy, as if not knowing if the beast that barged in this morning was still hiding there, behind his freshly laundered clothes. Fitzwilliam could not help but smile and then blush, thinking of how he must have looked that morning. But he had not thought of anything else but her, and that is all that mattered.

"Mrs. Bennet" said Mr. Darcy, bowing, careful to be as formal and polite as possible, for she was, after-all, to be his mother in law.

"Mr. Darcy!" she exclaimed, now coming closer, once she saw that he was in his normal self. "Welcome! And how gracious of Mr. Bingley to call on us again! It has been far too long since you last called, Mr. Bingley! Last time you were here you promised to dine with us—I shall hope tonight will compensate for that!" she added animated.

"I thank you" said Mr. Bingley after a moment's silence, where he hesitated how to understand and take that speech. Was she reproaching him? Or was she truly welcoming him? He could not ponder further for she was already talking about something else and before he knew it, they were being ushered into the drawing room, where the lovely Miss Jane Bennet took his breath away. He almost missed a step, his heart leaping forward as he caught sight of her. He could not believe that he had had the physical strength to stay away—goodness gracious, she was gorgeous. His eyes found hers and she blushed, so becomingly, and then gave him a small smile, which made his insides want to explode like fireworks. Mr. Bingley held on to the wall for support, fearing for his own ability to produce coherent speech and much less walk normally, for he was absolutely undone when he saw her.

"Miss Bennet" he said, approaching her, without glancing at the others or hearing any introductions. She seemed to be taken back by his sudden approach but it seemed to him, or at least he could hope, that she did not seem displeased.

"Mr. Bingley" she said, standing up and curtsying. He took her hand and kissed it lightly, feeling the warmth of her skin underneath her lace gloves. He held on to her hand for a second too long—a blush on both of their cheeks—then let go and sat down next to her, his eyes never leaving hers.

"I have not had the pleasure to see you since the twenty sixth of November" he said, a smile on his face.

"Yes" said Jane, finding her voice. She felt her stomach flutter, for she could not believe that he remembered the date.

"I was not aware that you were in London" he said, blurting it, not in the way he had intended but feeling that she ought to know. "I only found out on the day you left. We went to call on you at your Aunt and Uncle's house, but were told you and your sister, Miss Elizabeth, had already left."

"Yes" said Jane, her eyes wide with shock. "I called on Miss Bingley when I first arrived in London."

"I see" said Mr. Bingley, a slight frown on his face, "If I had known of your presence in London, I would have called on you straight away." Jane heard his words and saw the eagerness in his face, but she could not help but wonder, why did you not come back—why did you not call on me at Longbourn? If I had not gone to London, would you have never come back? But alas, that question could not be posed and least of all, now, when they were being discreetly stared at by all those gathered.

"I thank you for having me" the Colonel jovially, looking around at the room of pretty girls, they were indeed all lovely, except for perhaps the one by the piano, who could do a bit more smiling. No wonder his cousin had been so enamored—if Richard was not in dire need of marrying an heiress, he would also be pleased with choosing a bride from among the Bennet sisters, though which one, he did not yet know. But alas, that would never do. Second sons were accustomed to a life they could never afford without marrying well, and there were some comforts he could never do without.

"Mama" said Miss Elizabeth, drawing on the attention of all those gathered, "Could I show Mr. Darcy our garden? There is a flower there that I shall like to show him."

"Oh!" said Mrs. Bennet, her cheeks burning, "Of course! You must take someone with you."

"I shall accompany them" said the Colonel, puffing his chest out, as if volunteering himself to be their savior. Kitty held back a snicker, for she found him very amusing.

"I thank you, Colonel" said Lizzy, smirking. Mr. Darcy offered Lizzy his hand and she gladly took it, being followed behind by Richard, who seemed very amused.

"Shall you trail from so close?" teased Lizzy, once they were outside in the garden. "Or are we allowed some privacy?"

"My dearest cousin Elizabeth, you already married, you may choose as much privacy as you want" he said gallantly. Lizzy blushed and then nodded.

"Well then" she said, "Fitzwilliam, perhaps we shall go this way?"

"Indeed" said Mr. Darcy, giving one last look at his smirking cousin, as he pulled away his wife towards the fine shrubbery.

PNPNPNPNPNP

when I originally published this story, I set out to write a story that I would love reading and truthfully it has been so much fun to re read it! I'm loving it! I've decided to add more to the story, in the original there are only 26 chapters but I will flesh out more of what happens in London after the wedding where now jane and mr bingley will be...I think the title still applies...while you were sleeping...for mr bingley was sleeping...the question what will happen now that they are all awake? ;)