A/N: This is mid-Eclipse through the end of Breaking Dawn from Edward's perspective. Thanks for reading!
These characters are not mine and all belong to Stephenie Meyer.
A reminder that this story is rated M.
Isle Esme I: Persephone
I felt like the luckiest man in the world walking through Sea-Tac Airport with Bella on my arm.
We turned heads. Passersby couldn't help but follow my adoring gaze to the beautiful woman beside me and when they did, they had trouble taking their eyes off of her. The women envied her and the men envied me.
I hadn't felt so human since I was one myself. Enjoying others' admiration when I was usually indifferent to it. Travelling not because I was playing a part or trying to fill time, but because I was marking a milestone - my first in eighty-eight years.
Of course, Bella was oblivious to all of it.
"Houston?" She asked, raising her eyebrows when we reached the gate.
I resisted rolling my eyes. Did she really think, when finally given free rein to spoil her, I would take her to Texas?
"Just a stop along the way," I assured her with a grin.
In Houston, she was groggy as I pulled her through the terminals. She perked up a little when she realized we were in line to check in at the international counter.
"Rio de Janeiro?" She asked with a little trepidation.
"Another stop."
She looked like she wanted to fish more information out of me but seemed too tired to follow through. Instead, she slumped against my side and I tightened my hold on her.
I noticed goosebumps on Bella's arms as we waited for takeoff and felt annoyed Alice hadn't anticipated she might need a sweater. I gave her my jacket and realized I liked the visual of it. The feeling of taking care of her - the same as always, yet somehow more meaningful because she was now my wife. I smiled realizing Alice probably had considered all this.
Bella slept comfortably in the wide first-class seat, cradled in my arms, murmuring my name. I was beyond content.
It was when were about an hour out from landing that I started to panic. Bella was coming up on eight hours of sound sleep, not counting what she'd gotten on the first flight. She would be wide awake when we got to the tiny island. I wasn't getting off the hook tonight.
Back on the dancefloor it had been so easy to fantasize about loving Bella. But fantasies were uncomplicated. They weren't bound by physical laws. They glossed over inexperience. In fantasies no one's life was at risk.
Against my better judgement, I thought of Jacob Black and his opinion of the matter. Unnatural. Perverted. Dangerous.
But Jacob Black was biased. Bella was right about that. He was ignorant. He had no idea of what I was capable of, of how far I'd come. He was prejudiced. It was true I was a monster, but my family was far more civilized than the figures in the legends he clung to so tightly.
He was also jealous. He had a vivid fantastical love life with Bella. Before last night, he did not believe that I would pursue that kind of intimacy with her until she was changed and all but dead to him. He had thought if she wasn't with him that way, no one else would be either.
It was strange how Jacob Black, healthy and well and still fighting had brought out all the old resentment in me. Hatred even. When he was broken, when she hadn't closed that door yet and he existed as a bridge to her continued humanity I had idealized him and pitied him. Forgotten what an obnoxious, aggressive ass he was.
Bella was my wife. How dare he come to my wedding on my invitation and intrude on our private lives that way. It had been completely improper of him to broach the topic with her in the first place. And then to think he was in any position to dictate what I could or couldn't do.
He was wrong. I could do this. Alice had seen it. Carlisle had faith in me. Bella had faith in me.
This was one of the few things Bella had ever asked of me. I would do it for her. I would demonstrate my love to her by making this work.
For some reason I'd allowed Jacob Black to become something of a moral compass for me. But he was young and volatile and flawed. He'd forcibly kissed her, threatened to kill himself to earn her affections again, and objectified her in his vile fantasies. Plus, he could have easily broken her arms or worse in his little temper tantrum the previous night.
Exactly what moral high ground did he have that entitled him to police our physical interactions?
It was Bella's choice that mattered. Her will only.
I realized my fists were tightly clenched, my body tense with the anger and defiance I felt toward the boy. I relaxed against the back of the seat and focused on Bella, safe in a peaceful sleep.
No, I hadn't wanted to think of him, but maybe I'd needed to. I'd needed to work through this final roadblock. Analyze it. Reject it. Dismiss it. I wouldn't think of him again tonight. He was only a distraction and I would need my full concentration.
The light of the setting sun slanted through the plane's windows, just falling short of me in my aisle seat. Bella awoke unusually alert as we circled towards the airport. She pecked me once on the cheek before looking excitedly out the window.
She was quiet as we took a taxi through the dark and lively streets of Rio. She looked out curiously, sometimes smiling or frowning - once her heart accelerated inexplicably - making me wonder what she was thinking. But I didn't ask, afraid my questions might make her feel entitled to ask some of her own.
We stopped at the docks and I led the way down to the boat I'd rented. Carlisle and Esme didn't make it down here often enough to make owning and upkeeping their own watercraft worth it. That had been perfectly fine with me. While almost every part of the trip had been designed with Bella in mind, on this one small detail I'd indulged myself, renting one of the world's fastest small luxury yachts.
I spotted it right away. It looked sleek, graceful, and very fast.
I leaped in lightly with the bags and turned to help Bella carefully over the edge.
She watched in silence while I prepared the boat for departure. If felt like she was studying my every movement, her expression one of amusement.
I sped forward due east into the open ocean, exhilarated by the speed. It was relaxing, calming to feel the wind in my hair, the sea spray against my face and arms.
"Are we going much farther?" Bella asked, seeming a little disgruntled.
"About another half hour." I noticed her hands were clenched on the seat and smiled. I should have predicted this part would not be her favorite.
Twenty minutes later, the island came into view. I could see leaves and palm fronds swaying along the island's triangular silhouette and the pale beach glowing with the light of the moon. I called her name over the roar of the engine. "Bella, look there."
It must have been too early for her eyes because she squinted with a slightly frustrated look for a few seconds. Her brow relaxed a little and I imagined it was starting to become clear.
The moment felt oddly familiar. Somehow a larger-than-life version of that first trip to the meadow. She'd been impatient then too. Eager to know me more fully. I'd pointed out the bright light of the meadow, but she couldn't see it. Not yet.
Was it possible this would all work out just as that brilliant afternoon had?
Her eyes grew wide. "Where are we?" She murmured.
I smiled, pleased at the amazement in her voice. "This is Isle Esme."
I slowed the boat, positioning it against a short dock constructed of wooden planks, bleached into whiteness by the moon. I cut the engine and the near-silence that followed was profound. Other than Bella's heart, there was nothing but the waves, slapping lightly against the boat, and the rustle of the breeze in the palms.
We were completely alone.
I could feel the heaviness of the air - warm, moist, fragrant. The humidity mingled with her scent making the burn in my throat that much more pronounced.
"Isle Esme?" She asked, stunned.
"A gift from Carlisle - Esme offered to let us borrow it."
She looked at the darkness of the island with a disapproving expression. I wondered what had changed - she'd seemed in awe only a moment ago.
I was starting to feel something like stage fright. The unspoken drawing near. At the moment my fear of being unable to please her was winning out. Maybe I could fulfill my promise to try... initiate the physical act as if I was under contract. But to truly please her...
Project confidence. Be smooth.
I placed the suitcases on the dock and fixed a very natural looking smile on my face. I turned back and reached for her, pulling her right up into my arms.
"Aren't you supposed to wait for the threshold?" She asked, breathless, as I sprung lightly out of the boat.
I grinned. "I'm nothing if not thorough." That and I'd seen the painful looking blisters forming on her heels from Alice's never-practical shoe selection.
Gripping the handles of both steamer trunks in one hand and cradling Bella in the other arm, I carried her up the dock and onto the pale sand pathway leading up to the house. It was nice to not have to pretend here.
We were both quiet as I followed the path.
Bella looked up when the warm glow of the house came into view. Her heart broke into a sprint. Her breathing became uneven.
I looked down at her, but she refused to meet my gaze, instead staring straight ahead.
She was nervous.
Of course, she was. Hadn't she been nervous the night we'd made our compromise? The night she'd tried to seduce me.
So why was her thudding heart such a surprise? So jarring.
Maybe because I'd counted on her usual enthusiasm. Her lead. Her seduction.
But it was my turn to lead. My turn to seduce. I knew that. I'd taken that responsibility on myself when I'd insisted on overthinking and over planning. Taking what was a natural, spontaneous occurrence for most twenty-first century couples and heaping it with formality.
I remembered when I'd tried to seduce her a couple months earlier. She'd liked that. Only moral qualms had held her back then. But who was that? Where was he now?
Project confidence. Be smooth.
I could do that.
I set the suitcases on the deep porch to open the unlocked doors. I looked down at her, and, once she met my gaze, I stepped over the threshold.
I carried her through the large house, both of us very quiet, flipping on lights as I went. It was familiar from Esme and Carlisle's memories. Familiar because Esme's style had touched every part of it.
But I couldn't find comfort in those small details now. Bella's pulse was so violent it almost felt like the blood was crushing through my own veins. And it was so loud.
I walked into the last room and saw a massive white bed hung with billowy clouds of mosquito netting in its center. I flipped the final light switch, revealing the horror of the scene to Bella.
Her eyes danced over the walls which were white - except for the far wall, which was mostly glass - before focusing on the huge bed.
We both just stared at it for a long moment.
Don't freeze up, I ordered myself.
I set her down on her feet. "I'll... go get the luggage."
Smooth.
I stood on the porch for a moment taking deep breaths.
I could do this. I'd decided to do this. It was Bella in there. Bella who loved me beyond reason. I needed to do this. For Bella.
When I got back to the room Bella's back was to me.
I quietly set her trunk on the dresser and opened it for her. Despite being a literal monster, a murderer, I suddenly felt very, very innocent as I glimpsed the intimidating mess of sheer lace and skimpy satin Alice had packed for her. Any calm I'd achieved on the patio was decimated.
I turned away from the unhelpful sight and watched as Bella reached for the foamy netting, her fingers running gently over it. She was beautiful in the close-fitting dress. Lovely in blue as always.
And she was my wife now. So, it was appropriate, encouraged to look. For eyes to linger. Maybe that would help me find my courage.
I trailed my eyes up from her ankles, up her calves, and finally to her thighs, barely exposed where they disappeared into the blue fabric. I let my eyes trace the curve of her hip, the side of her breast. Her bare shoulder leading to her graceful neck, visible because the curtain of her hair was wrapped over her other shoulder.
I had hoped allowing myself to feel might... help. But maybe the nerves were worse now. Tinged with anticipation.
I noticed a bead of sweat dewed up on the nape of her neck and caressed the skin, wiping it away. Her heart jumped at the touch. I was forgetting basic things, like the little cues I usually used to announce my coming and going.
"It's a little hot here," I said apologetically. "I thought... that would be best."
"Thorough," she murmured under her breath.
I chuckled, but the sound was wrong. Nervous.
"I tried to think of everything that would make this... easier," I admitted.
She swallowed loudly.
Maybe it wasn't the best time to emphasize just how overthought and over planned this all was. That wasn't very romantic.
Bella was still facing away. It made me feel blind not having her face to read. I looked up and noticed her faint reflection in one of the windowpanes of the French doors that opened onto the beach.
I could do this. I had a plan. No more delaying. Face it head on.
"I was wondering," I said slowly, "if... first... maybe you'd like to take a midnight swim with me?"
She didn't respond.
Did she hate the idea? Or was it just my awkward, stilted speech turning her off of it? Turning her off of me.
I could do better.
My voice was more at ease when I spoke again. "The water will be very warm. This is the kind of beach you approve of."
I saw her reflected face soften slightly. "Sounds nice." Her voice broke.
Did she feel pressured? Did she know I was only pushing this forward because I thought it would be what she wanted? Because I was worried I would back out if I put it off too long?
"I'm sure you'd like a human minute or two... It was a long journey."
She nodded stiffly.
I couldn't leave her with this impression of me. Awkward and stumbling and unsure.
But what would put her at ease? Make her more... inclined?
Well, I knew what I liked. I brushed my lips along her throat, just below her ear, exhaling slowly over her skin.
Her heart kicked up another notch.
I chuckled, appreciating my small success. Appreciating the electric pulse zinging beneath my skin.
"Don't take too long, Mrs. Cullen," I murmured in her ear.
She jumped a little and I smirked. I was on the right track now. Feeling a little less like I was headed to my execution. Or hers.
My eyes focused on the little zipper at the back of her dress. I could imagine her excitement as I left kisses all the way down her spine... With some effort, I resisted.
I focused on the skin already exposed, brushing my lips down her neck and to the tip of her shoulder. I glanced at her reflection. Her eyes were closed. Her lips parted.
Maybe the swim was unnecessary. Maybe...
"I'll wait for you in the water," I said before spontaneity could get the better of me. There were reasons for all the overthinking and over planning after all.
I walked past her toward the door, shrugging out of my shirt on the way and dropping it on the floor. I had the pleasure of seeing her slightly scandalized expression reflected in the window right before I slipped out the door. It was a moment before I heard her breathe again. And then footsteps and rummaging.
After a deep breath I pulled off the rest of my clothes and draped them over a bend in one of the palm trees that fringed the beach. I waded into the water, not stopping until it was several feet deep. I let myself sink to the bottom where I sat cross-legged, eyes closed.
I could just barely make out her heart now. That was good. I needed to settle my system and the anxious pulse through hers did me no favors. I focused on the whoosh of the current, the clicks and whistles of sea creatures, the distant rumble of motors.
Hopefully, my skin would be nearly warm from the bath-like seawater by the time she joined me.
With the moment imminent, I allowed myself to imagine it now. How I might hold her. What I might feel. How she might react. The electric current pulsed and ebbed as I attempted to control its reign over me.
Holding her, touching her. It had all become second nature. I was still immensely careful with her, but it took very little concentration now. I knew this would be different. Different but possible.
Mind over matter.
I surfaced after about fifteen minutes. The shower was running. I supposed it had been a while since she'd done that - too long for her comfort anyway. I knew how she always took a little longer getting ready when she was anxious for an occasion. And based on her heartrate, she was still quite anxious.
I could relate.
With a large gulp of unnecessary, humid air, I dropped back down into the water, resuming my previous pose. I felt more agitated this time around knowing the time left was short.
Cowering in the dark sea, flexing my all too strong hands, I couldn't help but envy my former rival. The one I had promised not to think of again tonight.
I heard the dog's taunting voice. "You know, she could still change her mind, considering all the things I could do with her that you can't. At least, not without killing her, that is..."
I broke through the surface of the water in a panic. He was right. Of course, he was right. I could vilify him all I wanted, but it didn't change the fact that he was right. What I was about to do was very, very wrong.
Her heart, still unsettled, still in the house though twenty more minutes had passed, seemed to agree with me.
I shook my head. No. No, this wasn't happening tonight. She would be disappointed - maybe... it'd been an awfully long time - but she'd forgive me. I started slowly back towards the shore, the small waves breaking against my alien skin.
And then I froze. It was just a whisper. "Don't be a coward."
I guessed, given the volume of her command, it hadn't been meant for me. But it might as well have been.
I heard her footsteps from inside the house. She was on her way out here now, quite likely naked, and I was still completely undecided. I turned back towards the open ocean. I didn't want her to feel ogled at and, once I saw her, there would be no decision. It would be too late.
I stood completely frozen staring up at the moon, palms flat on the water's dark surface. Everything assaulting me at once.
I swear to you, we will try.
You'd break your promise to her?
That's one way to start a marriage.
A perversion. An abomination. Disgusting leech risking her life for his own pleasure.
I can never, never afford to lose any kind of control when I'm with you. A wrought iron rose crushed into sand. Do you imagine I would ever take that kind of risk with you?
Her tongue on my lip. I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm not.
Her footsteps on the powder-fine sand.
I've never seen control like yours before, Edward. I have faith in your ability.
You are going to make her so happy if you go through with this. The happiest she's ever been.
The ocean water lapping against her flesh.
I'll kill you. I'll kill you myself!
Please. It's all I want. Please.
And then, I felt a brilliant heat as she laid her hand on mine and my demons fell silent.
"Beautiful," she said, and I knew she would be looking up at the moon, too.
"It's alright," I answered, unimpressed. I turned slowly to face her. Though the animal in me screamed to attend to my peripheral vision, I was careful to focus only on her eyes - black in the moonlit night. I was more aware of the warm water now and its gentle pull - it felt like butter or satin as it flowed over me where I grew fuller and more sensitive.
I twisted my hand up so that I could twine our fingers beneath the surface of the water. "But I wouldn't use the word beautiful," I continued. "Not with you standing here in comparison."
Bella half-smiled. She raised her free hand and placed it firmly over my heart. Her sense of possession burned in her fire touch and I shuddered. I imagined the same warm touch a hundred different places along my skin as she claimed each and every one. My breath was rough with anticipation. Was it really possible that my fingers would have free reign over her skin? That I would see every part of her? That I would be inside of her?
A current more powerful than my well thought out plans threatened to carry me away.
"I promised we would try." My voice was suddenly tense. "If... if I do something wrong, if I hurt you, you must tell me at once."
Bella nodded solemnly, keeping her eyes on mine. She took another step through the waves and, as she'd done a thousand times before, she leaned her head against my chest.
I knew what my part was in this routine, what I'd done a thousand times before, but it had never been more different. Already, even across the small buffer of water still between us, I could feel her heat on my most sensitive skin. Skin that had laid dormant for so long. Skin that had awoken like the strike of a match on a cool March day as I watched her teeth bite into her lip.
"Don't be afraid," murmured my angel. "We belong together."
I wanted more than anything for her words to be true. For us to belong together in this way.
Try.
With a tightness in my stomach, I constricted my arms around her until she was right against me. Flesh against stone. The contact made my nerves dance like firecrackers. In my naivety, I would have described the sensation as orgasmic.
I could feel so much of her. Her breasts. The firm buds teasing my skin...
And I knew she could feel me now, too - my length resting along the skin of her stomach. Skin that was somehow smoother than ocean water.
I waited for her to push me away. To realize this was a mistake. To feel me and know I wasn't human like her or the line of warm-blooded men who lusted after her...
But instead, her fragile arms wrapped tightly around my waist and she sighed as if she was home at last. She was all in.
"Forever," I finally agreed.
She pressed her lips to my heart where her face still rested against my chest.
I combed my fingers through her long hair, waiting a moment for my crackling nerves to steady, but the intensity only grew. I would need to think around it.
Trying. The idea sat there like a life-preserver, an escape card and it too was a distraction. I was anxious wondering which touch or which reaction would lead the night astray and leave her in bitter disappointment.
No, I wouldn't drown in these defeatist thoughts.
I stroked her cheek and she looked up at me, reading me carefully. I wondered how my poker face was holding up.
"I want you," she said. And then I froze, feeling feather-light strokes of heat down my length.
My body almost doubled over in reaction.
"I want you," she said again.
Was this it? Had we already arrived at our exit for the night if I could barely stand up straight at her tentative touch?
"Bella, I..." I can't? I won't?
"Shh." She touched her finger to my lips. "We'll figure it out together."
I opened my mouth to object, but she shook her head.
"Close your eyes," she whispered.
She raised her eyebrows and, reluctantly, I followed her command.
"Now, give me your hand."
She tugged at my fingers and I complied with her wishes, uncurling them out of their tense fist.
I felt her hot breath as she adorned my fingers with slow open-mouthed kisses. I could feel her pleas in the sweet nectar her lips left behind on my skin. Pleas my body couldn't refuse.
"May I open my eyes?" I asked, my tone soft now.
"What could you possibly want to see?" She asked suggestively.
I smiled. "I'll tell you. If you let me open them."
"Deal."
I opened my eyes to find hers watching me expectantly.
"I want to see..." I kissed the corners of her lips, "you part your full, luscious lips."
She took an unsteady breath.
"I want to see..." barely touching her, I brushed the back of my fingers along the side of her breast, "your cheeks blush scarlet." I exhaled slowly over her lips. "I want to see your eyelashes flutter, because I'm driving you crazy."
"What - what else?" She stammered.
"I suppose that's all. Shall we put our clothes on and go back inside?"
"Not funny."
I chuckled. "Now it's your turn."
"My turn?"
"Tell me what you're thinking - "
"I'm - "
"Not yet."
I pulled her tight against me, inhaling sharply as the skin of her stomach played with me once again.
The breeze picked up for a moment, lifting strands of her hair, and I came back to myself.
She wore an apprehensive expression as she put her palms against my chest.
"Tell me what you're thinking..." I put my lips to the skin behind her ear. "Right now."
"I'm thinking - "
I passed my tongue along the groove behind her ear, pushing up against the cartilage.
"Yes?" I pressed.
Her skin tasted sweet, floral.
"I'm thinking about your... mmm... your tongue."
"And?" I tickled the front of her ear with just the tip.
"Um... I'm thinking that I can't... really... think... when you're doing that."
"Try," I breathed.
"I'm - I'm thinking I like the cold. And," she took a shaky breath, "there are other places I'd like to feel the cold."
My smiling lips moved down to her neck as she let her fingertips slide down my chest.
"Where?"
Her hands, trailed heat down my abdomen.
"Hmm?"
"Where do you want my tongue, Bella?"
"Um," she exhaled.
A tremor passed through me as she massaged the muscular ridges between my hips.
I dipped my tongue into the hollow at the base of her throat.
"Mmm... everywhere."
"That's a cop-out answer," I chided her.
"Where do you want to put your tongue, Edward?" She sassed, playfully.
I laughed. "Everywhere."
"Cop-out answer," she said, but then she shuddered.
"Close your eyes," I whispered.
I traced her lips, soft as dewy rose petals, always resisting the urge to insert my tongue between them. And then I was kissing her, and it was like we'd never left the dancefloor. Everything felt sweet and safe and possible.
Only now, Bella was moaning against my lips. And my fingers were tangling into her hair. And she was leading my hand to her breast. And I was learning it - her pert, supple flesh. And she was begging for more. And I was massaging, worshipping this pillowy tissue - tissue that moved like honey. And her hand was on my ass. And my hips were moving against her stomach. And she was tracing my hip. And I was groaning. And she was... she was grabbing me...
I staggered backwards away from her.
Her eyes were wide. "Was that... unpleasant?"
"The opposite."
"Oh."
My body was an electrical storm. I couldn't continue this way. Not in this state. But I needed her.
She watched me as I stood there, a couple feet away from her, trembling and undecided, and she looked worried. Worried I might bolt.
"You promised me a midnight swim," she said quickly.
"Right," I said, grateful for a way forward. I snatched her hand and pulled her with me into deeper water. I could feel her eyes on me.
When it became to deep too walk, I ducked under the surface and a second later popped up twenty feet away.
"Show-off."
I laughed.
She stopped when the water reached her neck. With a gulp of air, she disappeared only to emerge a moment later as she unfolded her body onto the surface of the water.
I knew I'd never seen anything more beautiful. My imagination, my fantasies - or anyone else's, for that matter - had never done her justice. Not even close.
Everything about her was rounded and graceful to match her delicate shoulders. Her breasts were lovely and full with small buds the exact color of her lips. Her stomach was flat and soft, her belly button cute and round. She had hourglass hips that curved seamlessly into slender thighs. And between them...
I took a shaky breath.
The scene was beautiful, yet haunting somehow.
Her hair floated around her like a black halo and I was transported back to that day months and months ago when I'd watched her read in the backyard. Like a stalker - exactly like a stalker - I'd watched her fall asleep in the sun only to be taken by the shadows.
And here she was, pale beneath the black sky, my bride. My Persephone. Stolen from yesterday's sunlight on the bottom stair.
"So many stars. Even with the moon so bright," she murmured.
But I couldn't think of the stars. Only the diamond-like droplets that dotted her exposed skin.
I swam to her, unwilling to be apart from her any longer. Though I could stand at this depth, I stayed low so she wouldn't see me.
Her scream pierced the silent night as I brushed my fingertip along the sole of her foot.
She flailed for a moment, sending water in all directions, before she noticed me.
"Edward Cullen!" She fumed.
"Mrs. Cullen?" I asked innocently.
She glared at me before leaning back again to resume her stargazing.
Skinny dipping with my dark-haired beauty under the moon, scheming and aroused, I didn't know if I'd ever felt more like a teenager.
Subtly, I sank down to the ocean floor. I counted to twenty and, after stealing a glance at my wife's flawless body, I darted up and grabbed her ankle, pulling her down until I knew only her head would be above the surface.
She kicked her other leg in surprise. I heard her shriek, muffled through the water.
I slid my fingers up the inside of her thigh, allowing the side of my hand to graze her center for the briefest moment.
"You're a monster," she exclaimed the second I reemerged. "A terrifying monster."
I laughed loudly and she splashed me in retaliation.
"I'm afraid splashing is against the rules, ma'am."
"Oh really?" She challenged. Her palm swiped across the surface, launching a fresh spray of water into my face. "And what exactly are you going to do about it?"
I ducked beneath the surface again, stealthily reappearing so I was standing behind her back.
"Everything," I breathed in her ear.
She squealed and I restrained her, clutching her to my body so her back was against my chest. I pressed my lips to the skin below her jaw where the blood pulsed feverishly through her artery.
She wriggled against my hold and I released her.
Like a viper, she whipped around and locked her body onto mine. Her mouth worked greedily at my neck before taking my earlobe entirely between her lips, sucking and caressing it with her summer tongue. At the same time, I grappled with the sudden introduction of her hot, yielding center pressed into my stomach. Knowing that she wanted me, that her legs were spread for me, there was no more doubt.
I would find a way through the sensory assault. I had to.
"Edward," she whispered, desperate. "Edward, I'm ready."
"Are you sure?" I asked breathlessly.
"I'm sure."
I nodded to myself and then shifted her slightly, positioning her so I was right against her soft folds. There was so much heat. Heat and an inviting silkiness that belonged to neither her skin nor the sea. So much sensation with just the small contact. My muscles coiled not with thirst, but with hunger. I wanted, I needed... but I needed to be absolutely certain, absolutely in control...
Our foreheads were pressed together, both our chests heaving. I wondered what she was thinking as I tried to hold onto rational thought. How? How would I ever find the control to actually...? My efforts to calm myself felt about as effective as spraying water over an electrical fire.
The same reassuring breeze from early picked up, sending flecks of water against my face and shoulders, and I found my resolve.
Only, she was too still.
"Breathe, Bella."
"Right," she exhaled.
I held her eyes, and then...
"Oh," she gasped, her eyelashes fluttering just as I had always imagined they would.
I was frozen, letting the raw sensation wash over me. I searched my head for space. Some part of my mind that wasn't smoldering that could lead me through.
It was focusing on her clear, deep eyes that helped me find it.
"Bella?" I whispered.
She nodded. "More," she breathed.
Very, very carefully, I pulled her even closer until I filled her completely.
I groaned and then froze. Controlling
She was gripping my arms, panting.
Keeping one hand on her back, I pulled her face to mine. Our lips moved together but our hips were still as I took careful account of my control.
Bella had other ideas.
Her arms wound around my neck and then she was moving...
I opened my mouth to ask for her patience, to slow down, to wait. But instead -
"Oh, Bella..."
The pressure. Never had I felt her so fully. Though she was still soft, this was so much more than the feather touch of her fingers. And the heat. The heat. I groaned.
Her hips became more excited, more confident with each movement.
Though she seemed to be thoroughly enjoying herself, it looked to be a great effort - pulling and lifting herself, maintaining her grip on my stone skin. I studied her pace, her movements and their intensity, wanting to understand what was safe and comfortable for her. When I was confident in my ability to replicate it, I gently gripped her hips and took over so that I was leading her gently over me.
She moaned as my willing hands assumed responsibility for her pleasure.
I fought to hold the rest of myself still amid the onslaught. If some part of my body broke ranks, I would have to recalculate and if I wasn't quick enough, I could hurt her. I focused on this knowledge as the pleasure licked at my concentration.
I was also trying very hard to constrain the building ache I felt now. It grew stronger, more demanding as the electric current hurtled faster and faster through my bloodless veins. I felt deeply conflicted. Hungry for the release, but anxious I'd lose control and hurt her. Anxious I'd steal the moment from Bella who so deeply deserved her satisfaction. I needed to stay grounded.
"Faster," she whined.
Bella was the furthest thing from grounded. She was flying. So free, so sure. Lost to the world.
If Bella's pain was my greatest weakness, then Bella's pleasure...
She cried out suddenly. Her back arched. Her head was thrown back. In any other context it would have been startling. But here in the safety of my arms, fulfilled by my body... It was everything. Mind and soul and body. Every part of her was mine.
My own needs felt much more demanding now.
She pressed her face into the side of my neck trembling against me. I rubbed her back and focused on trying to take slow even breaths. Still fighting against the inevitable.
"Hey." Her voice was husky when she finally looked up at me.
I was speechless. I just looked at her in awe. My light, excited eyes were reflected in hers.
She pursed her lips. "It would be a waste to ignore that big, pretty bed."
I carried her over the sand, holding her slick figure close to my body. I only broke away from her lips to grab the towel she'd left beside my clothes on the palm tree.
Inside, she pulled at a corner of the towel, scrunching it into my hair as I continued to kiss her. She wrapped it around my shoulders, drying my back and then my chest. I liked it. Being cared for by her.
"Maybe I should get another towel," I murmured.
"Mmkay," she said, sounding far away as I set her on her feet.
I flipped off the light switch on my way to the bathroom, the artificial light seemed jarring next to the natural light of the moon pouring in.
When I walked back in she was facing away from me looking out the window. She had most of her weight on one leg, emphasizing her curves as she towel-dried her hair.
I watched her as I dried off, memorizing the scene so it could never be lost.
The soft sound of my towel dropping to the floor made her turn.
Her mouth fell open as her wide eyes ran up and down my body.
I suddenly felt self-conscious. I'd grown so comfortable being naked with her in the water that it was only now that I realized she had bared everything while I'd revealed none of myself to her. Nothing more than what she would have seen on a normal night in Forks.
A wondering smile came over her lips as she continued to study me.
What an incredible feeling. To be seen by her. The apprehension, the thrill. Had she experienced it when it had been my eyes on her for the first time? Perhaps not. She'd been so much braver. Not holding back. Showing all.
The room felt charged. Electric.
She bit her lip.
And that was all it took. Not a second later I was over her on the bed. My hands clasping her tiny forearms, pinning them above her head. My mouth was hard on her lips as she wrapped her legs tightly around me.
My thoughts were scrambled. I stared into her eyes trying my best to focus and, with a ragged breath, I dipped back into the heat between her legs.
I moaned. She was so wet, her silkiness no longer diluted by the ocean water.
I released her from my grip and, holding myself with one arm, felt every part of her I could reach. Her hands did the same, caressing and clawing.
If our time in the water had been a sort of baptism, our union now was a rebirth by fire. My skin burned with painless flames, flames that scorched where her skin met mine. Everything was so loud - her excited heart, our frantic breathing, skin passing over skin. Groans and gasps and sighs. Breathless professions of love. My name on her sweet lips. The taste of salt water on her neck. The smell of blood pulsing beneath her skin screaming of her vitality as it raked down my throat. Her amorous scent threatening to please and confuse.
A total bombardment of the senses.
Her eyes closed and her hips rose to meet mine. A wild gasp. "Mmm..." I could feel her contracting around me.
The hungry ache was roaring now. Desperate after watching her lose herself twice.
And, with my next thrust, I was lost too. I couldn't remember my own name. Just one name. "Bella..."
The pleasure, already so intense, peaked in an unexpected wave of sensation. My body tensed and I was vaguely aware my hands were gripping the tops of her arms as I spilled into her. I pushed back against the wave's energy - I could remember that she was fragile and soft through the haze - but the energy had to be dealt with. I wasn't of a rational mind to re-channel it, only to keep it out of my hands, my hips.
Instinct took over. I bit down.
Another wave. Another bite.
Pure ecstasy. Total release.
Though it came on fast, the sensation faded slowly. Like feathers that swept left then right then left again, easing their way back to earth.
We were both panting. That was the first thing I noticed when my brain started to function again. And my eyes were closed.
I opened them.
Wide eyes, still a deep black in the night, looked back.
"Bella..." I whispered.
"Edward..." The way she said my name - it was like she knew she owned me now. It was as if she'd been sapping me of my power since the day I met her and now the process was complete.
Neither of us bothered putting clothes on. It was almost painful to think of even the insignificant barrier of clothing coming between us now. Where would we ever find the motivation to get dressed again? How would we ever leave the total isolation of our Eden?
Even now when she was clearly exhausted, my body craved more.
She rested her head on my chest. Her arms were around my neck and her ear over my silent heart. One of her legs was draped over mine so that the whole length of her body still pressed against me. I stroked her damp seaweed hair, now decorated with small white feathers, where it cascaded over her shoulder.
Sleep found her quickly and I held her close, dreading the moment she became restless or chilled and I'd have to let her go.
A small part of me regretted that I hadn't given into her seduction earlier - so many opportunities missed - but mostly I was glad. Had there ever been a night more perfect than this one? It was like my whole life, my whole existence, had been leading up to it. And to think, so many more would follow. Forever's worth.
The pleasure. It made the taste of her blood - what I'd once considered to be pure bliss - seem less impressive than rabbit's blood. But that was selling it short. The pleasure was indescribable. And that was just my pleasure. To witness Bella's pleasure, to be its source...
I took a deep breath. I'd have to find a way to manage my appetite. Redirect my thoughts.
It was difficult, but doable, because the night had been about so much more than pleasure. To drink human blood - it was completely fulfilling in the moment, but it left only emptiness behind it. This new pleasure left behind it a rich joy.
A joy so forceful. So transformative.
It was as if, before tonight, she'd only ever existed as a reflection or on the other side of glass. Somehow, though it should have been impossible, we'd come together. Though she was small and fragile and weak, she'd moved me. She'd brought me the greatest pleasure I'd ever known.
What we'd shared - making love with Bella - it had a healing power. So many wounds, bitter memories of her belonging to another... though not forgotten, they were colored differently now. Less significant in contrast.
And to know each other in this new way. To be so vulnerable.
Vulnerable.
Yes, I couldn't ignore the fact that, though we'd somehow succeeded, my teeth had come within inches of Bella's shoulder. Within inches of Bella's neck.
I shuddered.
I wasn't proud of that. But I imagined, searching or not, Alice would have seen if that dark outcome had been a possibility. She would have discouraged my plans.
Why hadn't someone warned me, though, about the urge to... bite? It hadn't been thirst at all. It had felt very specific to the act. Couldn't Carlisle - or Emmett or Jasper or Rosalie with their unsolicited advice - have mentioned that particular impulse?
Or perhaps that was just me. I hadn't noticed any of my family members decorated with bite marks. Well, except for Jasper, and I was happy to accept that there was only the one reason for that.
It didn't matter. I'd be prepared next time. I'd be able to recognize the powerful surge. I'd have a plan to channel it elsewhere.
I remembered Bella's first day in biology when I'd been overwhelmed by her scent. I remembered the give of the strut under our desk as my hand pulverized it.
My eyes flickered to the white headboard.
Next time.
I got lost thinking of the possibilities, imagining what tomorrow would hold.
It wasn't until first light when the birds started to sing that I realized she hadn't spoken a word. She looked completely serene. Just lightly snoring.
I watched as the translucent skin of her back transformed from white to pale peach, the color growing warmer as the sun cleared the horizon.
It was then, with my eyes already trained to her skin, that I watched the blood begin to pool.
A/N: Thank you for your kind reviews!
