A/N: This is mid-Eclipse through the end of Breaking Dawn from Edward's perspective. Thanks for reading!

These characters are not mine and all belong to Stephenie Meyer.


A/N: The first chapter of Vol. 1 (New Moon - Mid-Eclipse) is now posted!


Alpha (Breaking Dawn)

We didn't speak as we walked back to the house.

I listened to Jacob Black's thoughts with growing anxiety. He was a man, but he was still thinking like a boy. A boy couldn't do what I was asking him to do. A boy wouldn't be able to handle what he would surely see if he sat with Bella long enough. A boy couldn't save her.

He was musing about his very sad life and how it felt more like a sitcom than reality. Like I'm about to ask the head cheerleader to the prom. The finished-second-place werewolf about to ask the vampire's wife to shack up and procreate. Nice.

No, I won't do that. It's twisted and wrong. He shuddered. I'll talk to her. I'll try to make her listen to me. And she won't. Just like always.

Emmett caught sight of me through the window and sighed. He didn't like Jacob Black walking behind me even with my extra abilities. Kid's too lost in his head - might not see it coming.

I could hear some shallow relief in the others' thoughts, but mostly they were suspicious and confused. They all had an idea of how desperate I was even if they underestimated the depths of that desperation.

Fixing my face best I could, I walked through the front door. I ignored the bombardment of silent questions.

"We're going to let Jacob and Bella speak privately."

Jacob decided I sounded robotic. Robotic was good - an improvement from recent days - and Bella's impression was probably most similar to his.

"Over my pile of ashes," Rosalie hissed, placing her hand on Bella's cheek.

I imagined ripping her hand from her wrist. Crushing her fingers into dust...

"Bella." I met her eyes. "Jacob wants to talk to you. Are you afraid to be alone with him?"

Bella looked at Jacob Black, confused, before finally looking at Rosalie. "Rose, it's fine. Jake's not going to hurt us. Go with Edward."

"It might be a trick," Rosalie warned.

"I don't see how," Bella said, annoyance seeping through.

You can't make me go. You've been trying to separate me from her all week. You're obviously planning something - why else would you take him out of earshot for ten minutes? I just know as soon as I leave her, you and Carlisle will take a knife to her -

"Carlisle and I will always be in your sight, Rosalie." A hint of anger leaked into my voice. "We're the ones she's afraid of."

"No," Bella whispered, her wet eyes horrified. "No, Edward. I'm not..."

She was. We'd finally hit that milestone.

I shook my head, smiling a little. "I didn't mean it that way, Bella. I'm fine. Don't worry about me."

I'd have to avoid smiling. Based on Jacob Black's impression, it was doing more harm than good.

"Everyone," I motioned toward the door. "Please."

My composure was shaky. Taking pity on me, they all filed out the door without further argument. Except for Rosalie.

"Rose," Bella said. "I want you to go."

Rosalie glared at me and gestured. Not a trap? Then you first.

We joined the others at the far end of the meadow. "Let's give them privacy," I murmured to the group encouraging them to move further away.

"You really expect me to leave her completely unprotected? Say you're really not up to something. What if he decides to take matters into his own hands? What if he loses control?"

"He won't lose control. And as far as taking matters into his own hands, he doesn't have a high school diploma, let alone a medical degree."

"I'm not going any further."

"Rose, Bella wants this," Emmett pushed gently.

She deliberated, wondering if I would tell Bella that she'd insisted on listening. Rosalie had worked very hard to build up a good rapport with Bella and she didn't want to ruin that now.

"I'll go if Esme's allowed to stay. "

I sighed impatiently. This was probably the best I would get and Jacob Black and Bella had already exhausted the pleasantries. I needed to get Rosalie out of here quickly so Bella could consider his offer without her counterpoints.

"Alice?" I met her eyes.

"I'll stay," she assured me.

It was irrational, but I felt the need to match Rosalie's move.

I could hear Esme's hurt and Carlisle's silent reproach. My lack of trust, pretending she didn't exist... Esme found it excruciating. But I couldn't feel sympathy. All she had to do was whisper in Carlisle's ear and this would all go away. But she wouldn't do that.

"And we're going three miles out. If I don't get to listen, you don't either." Certain they're coordinating something...

I had a good feeling I would know exactly how things went once I heard Jacob's thoughts and Alice could fill in any holes. It wasn't ideal for Alice and Esme to hear this, but maybe some good would come of it. Maybe Esme would see just how desperate I was and reconsider her stance.

I ignored Emmett and Carlisle's unspoken requests for information as we waited out in the forest, frozen under Rosalie's watchful glare.

Jacob Black was right about one thing. This all felt surreal.

Just over a week ago, unaware of the insidious thing growing inside of her, my life had been perfect. I should have known a counterbalance was coming.

That night. That wretched night when I'd made the biggest mistake of my life. This was the cost of that night. The love of my life days, maybe even hours from death.

The love of my life who, apparently, I barely knew.

In our last week or so on the island, I felt I had really come to know her. To understand her. All my practice reading her face in the bedroom seemed to generalize. I was predicting so accurately what she would say and do next.

And we'd been just so consumed with one another, forging a deeper bond than I ever thought possible.

So it was jarring, painful to see how very wrong I was. Dying for motherhood when she'd never wanted a child. Defending that decision with talk of faith when she'd always been, more or less, areligious. Choosing it over a forever with me...

If Jacob Black couldn't find the courage to make the offer, it was true, she'd heard it all before.

I remembered the last time I'd raised my voice at her, the last time I'd called it a thing...

Bella insisted on sleeping on the couch in the living room before Rosalie and I could get much of an argument going about the subject. Rosalie never left her side, even accompanying her to use the restroom when she still had the strength to do so on her own. I rarely left her, either. Only to prepare her food she wouldn't keep down or to confront Carlisle.

I was sitting on the floor beside the couch - I wasn't allowed on it - when I first noticed her wince.

"What is it?"

"Just cramping. Carlisle said that's normal."

She wasn't being entirely honest, I could see that. I assumed she was trying to downplay the pain. Carlisle suggested Tylenol.

"Absolutely not. It could endanger the baby." Rosalie had quickly gone from offering Bella her opinion to just making the calls.

"In low doses there is virtually no risk," Carlisle said, looking only at Bella.

"Virtually," Rosalie emphasized.

"Please, Bella," I said softly. "I don't want you to hurt."

"No. Rose is right. I'd rather know for sure I'm not hurting the baby."

Never taking my eyes off her face, I watched as her grimaces became more frequent, even as she tried harder and harder to suppress them.

It wasn't until Carlisle went to take measurements of her abdomen that I understood. Red. Purple. Black. Large bruises crisscrossed with thick, brown stretch marks covered every inch of skin.

I made a noise like gagging and even Rosalie gasped.

Worried, Alice and Esme flitted into the room.

"Carlisle, what's it doing to her?" Alice demanded angrily.

Carlisle didn't answer. I didn't know if he could. Instead he focused on his measurements.

"Bella, dear, why didn't you say anything?" Esme stroked Bella's blanket-covered foot.

"It's nothing. He's just restless."

Rosalie, swallowing her disgust, laughed a little. "All babies kick right? He must be an athlete."

Jasper appeared at the top of the stairs. Hold it together, Edward.

"Must be," Bella agreed.

Emmett was only a second behind Jasper, accurately guessing the reason for his quick exit. He was at Rosalie's side now, watching me. He followed my eyes to Bella's stomach before quickly averting his gaze. Dammit, Bella. He hated that he'd been drafted into protecting the thing.

Only Rosalie was left in the room when Bella finally looked up at me a few minutes later. She flinched making Rosalie look up as well.

Rosalie saw only a threat. Something raw and glaringly inhuman burning behind my eyes.

"Edward," Bella whispered, her face full of concern. "Come here."

Stay back! Rosalie warned.

"Edward?" Bella was more insistent now.

"Bella." I spoke slowly. My voice sounded frail as my eyes stung with the memory of tears. "Please stop this. I'm begging you. Make this go away."

Get a grip, Rosalie sneered.

"It's going to be okay," Bella cooed. "I promise."

I ignored the steady growl Rosalie emitted and knelt in front of Bella, taking her hand. "Do you know what I see in my head every second? Every second, I see it ripping through you. Your skin, your bones." My crazed eyes bored into hers. "And I know it's my fault. And it's torture. You have the power to make it stop. You can make it go away. Please, Bella. Make it go away."

Her cheeks were wet. "It's not your fault. It's no one's fault."

"I did this to you, Bella," I whispered. "You trusted me and I did this to you."

"It's scary now, but I know you'll love him, too. You just haven't had the chance. Do you remember back on the island when we realized? I was scared out of my mind and then he nudged me. He bumped my hand and I knew everything was going to be okay."

I didn't say anything. I just stared at her knee.

"Put your hand next to mine. If you leave it here long enough, you'll feel him. You'll understand."

I shuddered at the thought.

"Stop that," Bella growled, her mood shifting abruptly.

"Stop what?" I asked flatly.

"Stop acting like... like I'm carrying something disgusting. Like he's a slug or something."

"That would be preferable."

"Stop it!"

"No, Bella," I said angrily. "If you're going to insist on making me watch you die for that thing, you ought to have a realistic idea of what to expect. It's probably just a deformed, brainless collection of hard skin and teeth."

Being blunt and cruel didn't do any good. It only made her more resolved and more untrusting and more sick. And I couldn't stay angry with her after that. Instead, I reserved my anger for Rosalie and Esme and Carlisle where it belonged.

I didn't give up trying to persuade Bella, but my appeals were more gentle. It was a couple days ago that it started to compromise her heart...

"I'm strong enough," she insisted for the hundredth time.

"Bella," I said, my voice calm yet pleading. "I know exactly how strong you are." And then one by one, I aligned my fingers with the long gone bruises on her forearm.

"That's different."

"You're fragile, love. More than ever. Your heart will give out. I won't be able to save you."

"You're wrong."

It terrified me. If she couldn't pump the venom through her body, she couldn't be healed. That's when the idea came to me. If we could inject the venom straight into her heart, it could be repaired first so that it could carry her through the transformation. Carlisle had a steel syringe overnighted and the next day I was filling it with my venom-laced saliva. Steel was one of the few metals our venom didn't corrode. It could sit there in his study, ready at a moment's notice.

Jacob Black's thoughts pulled me out of my memories.

He was a wolf and he was sprinting home. Running away. There was a sickness in his head that I knew too well as he replayed Bella's words, my words. He'd caught a glimpse of her mottled stomach. He remembered Rosalie's protective stance.

"Fuck," I spat. It hadn't worked.

I started back for the house easily beating the others. Rosalie would love that.

Bella was sobbing in Esme's arms when I got there. Alice pushed through the pain in her head to comfort Bella as well - she stroked her hair.

"Bella." I took her hand. "Bella, what is it?"

Esme and Alice both looked up at me, thinking about what Jacob Black had offered her and who had pushed him to do it.

Oh, Edward, sweetheart... Esme's pity irritated me.

She didn't consider it, Alice thought, trying to temper her exasperation with me. Not even for a second.

"He left," Bella sobbed.

"I told you this was a bad idea," Rosalie shrieked as she crossed the threshold. "This is your fault, Edward." She stood too close to me, trying to edge me away from Bella.

"Rosalie, you're not helping anything," Carlisle said.

"No, Carlisle. Edward needs to go. She wouldn't be in this state if - "

"No, Rose," Bella whispered. She grabbed a fistful of my shirt. "Edward stays. I need you both."

Bella held my eyes for a long moment before shaking her head with a sad smile. Her acknowledgement of my pathetic and desperate plan to save her.

She fell asleep quickly, exhausted from the whole ordeal. It wasn't much later that her heartbeat grew irregular. When I tried to rouse her she was in a confused, semi-conscious state.

"Carlisle," I called, but he was already on his way, his arms full of medical equipment.

"Emmett, grab the hospital bed."

"What are you doing?" Rosalie asked, suspicious.

"Everything I can," Carlisle said impatiently.

"She's disoriented," I said.

"Her circulation. There's not enough blood getting to her brain."

"What are you giving her? What are you putting in her body, Carlisle?" Rosalie demanded as he swiftly setup equipment around my wife. "Bella entrusted me with her medical decisions if she couldn't make them."

"I'm giving her beta-blockers for her heart and intravenous nutrition."

"I can't see again." Alice drifted into the room.

"Well, beta-blockers, can they harm the baby?" Rosalie felt out of her depths. There was a very small part of her that worried not just about the baby, but also about letting Bella down.

"The risk is low."

"I would bet he's bringing friends this time," Jasper answered Alice.

Emmet arrived with the bed.

"How low is low?" Rosalie pressed Carlisle.

"Rosalie," Carlisle snarled, shocking everyone. He took a deep breath before continuing more calmly. "Give me a minute and then I will talk you through it."

"In a minute you'll already have given her - "

"Rosalie," I said through my teeth. "Have you considered that if you kill the host, the parasite dies, too?"

She pursed her lips. In her panic she hadn't entirely thought that through. "Fine. But if you plan to do anything else you run it by me first," she snapped at Carlisle.

"Edward, was Jacob planning to come back alone?" I had the impression Emmett had thought the question first, but I'd been too focused on Bella.

"Lift her onto the bed, Rosalie," Carlisle instructed, knowing better than to grab Bella himself.

She looked like a skeleton in Rosalie's arms, except for her massive abdomen.

"No," Esme answered when I didn't. "Bella asked if he would. He told her..."

"What?" Jasper asked, feeling her sorrow.

I watched Carlisle slip the IV needle beneath Bella's translucent skin.

"He told her he wasn't going to hang around to watch her die," Alice said, finishing Esme's thought.

"Some friend," Emmet said. He wouldn't have had to hang around long, either.

"He was very upset," Esme defended Jacob. "He stripped down right in the middle of the meadow and left his bike behind."

Carlisle placed electrodes on Bella's skin and programmed the heart monitor.

"Did you catch anything from the pack, Edward?" Jasper asked "After he'd transformed."

"Gran?" Bella asked in a weak voice. She took a shallow breath. "No, not until Christmas..."

"Bella?" I whispered.

"Edward," she breathed. "Gran's on the phone..."

Everyone was looking at Carlisle.

"She wants to... talk to Jacob," Bella continued.

"If I can get her heart rhythm under control, the confusion should go away," he said, continuing his work.

Rosalie was wringing her hands.

"Still blind, Alice?" Emmet asked.

"Yes," she sighed.

"Edward," Jasper tried again. "The pack - did you hear anything when he was connected to the pack?"

"He was thinking about everything he saw. He was out of range before I heard any real reaction other than shock."

"Sounds like their stories can't explain this, either," Emmett muttered.

He looks out of his mind. Esme watched me where I stood frozen with wide eyes, my hands in fists.

"Emmett, Jasper, step outside for a moment," Carlisle instructed.

They did so without objection, but Rosalie shot him a glare for dismissing her bodyguard.

"I need to insert a catheter," he explained before she could start on him again.

She nodded once and crossed her arms tightly across her chest.

Esme was next to me now. She reached her hand towards me.

"Don't."

She flinched, but respected my wishes.

Alice accepted Esme's comfort. And she was grateful for the darkness brought on by whatever the wolves were up to. She wanted to be present for her favorite sister now.

When Jasper came back in, he wrapped his arms around both Esme and Alice.

Bella's heart rhythm improved marginally and Carlisle decided it was best he go hunt. He felt uneasy that he'd allowed himself to get so flustered earlier and he wanted to be at his sharpest with how quickly she was declining.

He put his hand on my shoulder. "We're going to look for the first thing we can find and then we'll be right back." Keep her heart beating. No matter what, keep her heart beating.

I nodded once.

Rosalie and I watched Bella sleep fitfully as the minutes passed. Rosalie grieved the thing and I grieved Bella. It was only a matter of time now, I was sure of it...

And then I heard them.

...if Edward can hear us yet.

Jacob.

Maybe we should be thinking something like, "We come in peace."

Seth. I hadn't expected Seth.

Go for it.

"I hear them," I told the room.

Edward? Edward, you there? Okay, now I feel kinda stupid.

You sound stupid, too.

"Them?" Emmett asked.

"How many?" Jasper asked.

Think he can hear us? Seth wondered.

I think so, Jacob answered. Hey, Edward. If you can hear me - circle the wagons, bloodsucker. You've got a problem.

"Something's wrong." I darted outside. Jasper and Emmett were right behind me.

We've got a problem, Seth corrected.

The two wolves, red-brown and sand, broke through the trees.

"Jacob? Seth? What's going on?"

Jacob retreated a couple steps, reacting to our scent in his wolf form. And then he was thinking over the recent past, moving backwards through time. Seth rounded out the narrative, filling in the gaps.

Jacob remembered staring the large black wolf - Sam Uley - straight in the eye. "I will stand between you and the Cullens." He'd called us "innocent people." Innocent people he would not participate in killing. He'd sprinted off disobeying the alpha command, Seth not far behind him.

But how - ?

And then I saw it in Seth's head.

"Ephraim Black's son was not born to follow Levi Uley's," Jacob declared.

"Even if you can defeat me, the pack will never follow you," Sam Uley asserted.

"I'm not going to fight you, Sam."

"If you order them to follow you - "

"I'll never take anyone's will away from him," Jacob growled fiercely.

Then they shifted further back in time...

Jacob was given the alpha command to target Jasper and Emmett. He tried to resist the weight of the command, but Seth watched as it crushed him. Jacob's legs buckled beneath him so he was lying on his belly, his limbs splayed out awkwardly.

He looked pathetic. There was something very wrong, uncomfortable about the picture. Like how it felt to see an immortal, my kind, incapacitated.

Then Jacob was on his feet again. Seth, too. They felt like their muscles were controlled by puppet strings.

Jacob remembered his despair. The hopelessness. The powerlessness. The excruciating task Sam Uley had forced upon him...

Jasper felt Jacob's incredible suffering firsthand and looked suspiciously between the wolf and I.

And then, Jacob remembered the bonds falling from his body as he seized his birthright. Jasper felt the sweeping relief.

"Jacob? What have you done?" Sam felt threatened as he came to understand Jacob's decision.

The scene shifted backwards again - before the puppet strings - and the narrative grew messier as the two tried to remember further back.

Sam was afraid of the thing Bella carried. "This is not something our treaty anticipated."

"How're you going to kill this creature without killing Bella?" Jacob asked.

"Unnatural. Monstrous. An abomination," Jacob recalled from the pack psyche as Seth shared what I most needed to know. "Bella's sacrifice is a heavy price," Sam Uley said. "And we will all recognize that."

I hissed furiously and leaped off the porch.

"They want to kill Bella?" I snarled flatly. And suddenly I could feel the bleak emotional pit just as Jasper had. Because Jacob's love for Bella - though expressed differently, though weaker - was the same as my own. I imagined someone having that power over me, to march me like a puppet to be an instrument in her death... I repressed a shudder.

Emmett and Jasper mistook my question as a statement and thought Jacob and Seth were the threat. They were next to me in a flash, teeth exposed.

Hey, now, Seth thought warily.

"Em, Jazz - Not them! The others. The pack is coming."

Emmett and Jasper rocked back on their heels. Jasper was still suspicious, but Emmett accepted my reassurance.

Okay, so... "What's their problem?" Emmett demanded, wondering how many fires we had to put out.

"The same one as mine," I hissed. "But they have their own plan to handle it. Get the others. Call Carlisle! He and Esme have to get back here now."

Jacob whined. They're separated.

"They aren't far," I said, my voice dead again.

Seth sprinted off to look for signs of the pack after assuring Jacob and I he'd be safe - he didn't think the pack would harm him when they only saw him as a kid.

Not going to order him around, Jacob thought to himself, remembering the puppet strings.

I stood facing him for a moment, trying to wrap my head around the sacrifice he'd made for Bella and my family. Not just putting his life on the line, but cutting himself off from his family, his home.

I'd underestimated him earlier. I was always underestimating him.

"This isn't the first time I've owed you my gratitude, Jacob," I whispered. "I would never have asked this from you."

He remembered my earlier request. When it comes to Bella, there are no lines he won't cross... Yeah, he spoke to me now, you would.

I nodded. "I suppose you're right about that."

He sighed heavily. Well, this isn't the first time that I didn't do it for you.

"Right," I murmured. No he hadn't done it for me. But he hadn't done it just for Bella, either. I'd caught that. His concern for my family. Carlisle, Esme, Alice...

Sorry I didn't do any good today. Told you she wouldn't listen to me.

"I know. I never really believed she would. But..."

You had to try. I get it. I could see that he did now - more than anyone else. She any better?

I felt a sinking in my chest remembering her erratic heartbeat, her emaciated body, her hallucinations...

"Worse," I breathed.

Alice moved to my side.

"Jacob, would you mind switching forms? I want to know what's going on," she said.

"He needs to stay linked to Seth," I told her.

"Well, then would you be so kind as to tell me what's happening."

"The pack thinks Bella's become a problem. They foresee potential danger from the..." I couldn't bring myself to say fetus at the moment, "from what she's carrying. They feel it's their duty to remove that danger. Jacob and Seth disbanded from the pack to warn us. The rest are planning to attack tonight."

Alice hissed. Those fucking dogs. I could hear violence in her thoughts, but I didn't want to imagine her up against them without her vision.

Nobody out here, Seth reported. All's quiet on the western front.

They may go around, Jacob warned.

I'll make a loop.

"Carlisle and Esme are on their way. Twenty minutes tops," Emmett said.

"We should take up a defensive position," Jasper said.

I nodded. "Let's get inside."

I'll run the perimeter with Seth. If I get too far for you to hear my head, listen for my howl.

"I will."

We backed into the house, scanning the trees, though I heard no one I didn't expect to.

Bella was still asleep. I moved to her side.

"Bravo, again," Rosalie said. "Yes, let's let Jacob Black inside - "

"Give it a rest, Rosalie," Alice snipped from the third floor. She was hiding again now that Bella was somewhat stable.

Rosalie did not give it a rest. She just used her thoughts instead.

"Seth just ran into Carlisle and Esme," I told Jasper and Emmett. Jacob was in range so I could hear Seth, too. "No more than two minutes out."

You think Bella's going to die anyway, Seth wondered.

Yeah, she is, Jacob told him.

I wanted to be angry with Jacob for having no hope, but as I looked at my wife now, I couldn't disagree. She didn't look like she'd survive the night.

Carlisle darted in at that moment and checked on Bella first thing. Her condition was unchanged, but that was hardly good news.

He put a hand on my shoulder and met my eyes. Prepare yourself. Her heart can't keep this up much longer. It will be hours, not days.

I couldn't find my voice, so I just mouthed the words. "And the venom working? What are the odds?"

Fifty-fifty. That may be generous.

I sucked in a sharp breath.

I don't want to lose you, too. His thoughts were heavy, but he knew there was no point in asking me to stay. He embraced me and then quickly let go.

Jasper was in misery. He wanted to throw himself out the doors and never look back.

I hate to ask anything of you now, Carlisle thought, but, if you... leave us, please find it in your heart to forgive Esme before you go.

A sharp howl broke through the night.

I moved to the window, and a small part of me hoped to see Sam Uley and his pack. Maybe I could rip his heart from his chest before the rest took me down. And then all the pain would finally stop. Mine. Bella's.

False alarm, false alarm, Jacob thought, running in. Sorry. Seth is young. He forgets things. No one's attacking. False alarm.

Jacob bounded through the trees stopping a little ways from the porch. There's nothing out there - you got that?

I nodded once.

Carlisle went to measure Bella's stomach and froze. It wasn't that the bruises were so much worse now than that first day. It was that he could see it kicking her. I turned my head away from Jacob in time to see it happen with my own eyes. Purple ripples raced across her skin like rain drops splashing into a pond. She moaned softly in her sleep.

I shuddered.

I waved a lingering Jacob away. He wouldn't be able to unsee this. And this wasn't his fault.

What's going on? He asked as I left my post at the window to go to her side.

Carlisle was finished with his measurements now. What did Jacob have to say?

"It was a false alarm," I explained, my voice still dead. "Seth was upset about something else, and he forgot we were listening for a signal. He's very young."

"Nice to have toddlers guarding the fort," Emmett grumbled.

"They've done us a great service tonight, Emmett," Carlisle said. "At great personal sacrifice."

"Yeah, I know. I'm just jealous. Wish I was out there."

"Seth doesn't think Sam will attack now," I said, recounting thoughts I'd overheard earlier. "Not with us forewarned, and lacking two members of the pack."

"What does Jacob think?" Carlisle asked.

"He's not as optimistic."

Bella's breathing was harsh and labored. It hitched and broke as her heart beat out atypical rhythms, always thudding too fast.

She grimaced in her sleep and I reached out to stroke her cheek.

"Don't touch her!" Rosalie whispered. "You'll wake her up."

I glared at her, but pulled my hand back. She was right.

"Rosalie," Carlisle murmured, advocating for me.

"Don't start with me," Rosalie snapped. "We let you have your way earlier, but that's all we're allowing."

I was vaguely aware that Jacob was still outside. I'd tried to warn him. He hadn't wanted to watch her die. But as the minutes passed, he drew closer and closer to the house until finally he saw her. And it was so much worse than he expected.

Bella choked a little in her sleep and I stepped closer. The thing kicked her hard enough that her body jerked causing her to whimper. I refrained from touching her only to watch Rosalie smooth her hand across Bella's forehead.

I froze, seeing red. These were quite likely the last minutes of Bella's life and I wasn't allowed to touch her, but Rosalie was. Rosalie who thought of Bella only as a surrogate in her macabre little fantasy.

I would wreck Rosalie's body the way she had Bella's. Gouge her eyes from their sockets. Rip her fingernails off one by one. Make her watch her limbs burn before I finally had mercy on her and ripped her head from her neck -

Emmet was suddenly between us, his hands held up. "Not tonight, Edward. We've got other things to worry about."

I turned away from them and Jacob was there watching me from outside the window. The look on my face, what it meant, had him running again.

The thing continued to abuse her through the slow hours of the night. But even in her sleep her hands would move protectively over the massive bulge. I remembered that first night when she'd begged, shrieking at me, "No! No, you can't. Edward, please. Please, don't do this. Don't hurt him. Please!" How she'd curled in on herself so her fragile legs would be one more barrier between us and the thing.

And then I could see Jacob fruitlessly digging his claws into the dirt fighting Sam Uley's order to bring about the death of the girl he loved. The girl who had hurt him so many times and in so many ways.

Killing her felt like killing himself. Suicide.

He'd taken the one lifeline available to him, as undesirable as it was. He turned his back on the home and family he loved and and grasped the one thing that would allow him his autonomy.

It was after three and Bella looked like she was taking a turn for the worst. Carlisle was struggling to get her heart rhythm under control and she was, impossibly, having even more trouble breathing.

I could hear it in Carlisle's thoughts. This might be it.

I had no more time to lose. There was something I needed to tell her. Something I needed from her.

I put my lips right to her ear. "Bella..."

Rosalie started forward but Emmet grabbed her and held her against him. So quiet I heard it only through his thoughts, he murmured, "Let him say goodbye, Rose."

I wasn't sure if she was awake, but I didn't know if I'd get another chance. I had to try.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I tried to force you... I'm sorry I tried to take away your will. I'm sorry I did that. Please forgive me."

Her hand twitched and I carefully slid mine beneath it.

"Ed-ward." Her whisper seemed to stick in her dry mouth. "I've..." she paused to take another shallow breath, "already... forgiven you."

And then I was completely overcome. Heaving great tearless sobs into the thin mattress beneath her.

Her frail finger moved over my hand, just a few millimeters up and down, and I knew even now she was trying to comfort me.

It was the very end of everything and the girl, the only girl in the world, was worrying about me.


A/N: The first chapter of Vol. 1 (New Moon - Mid-Eclipse) is now posted! I have several unedited chapters written for both that and this volume, so look out for more soon.

Thanks for reading!