AN: I love reading Numbuh 3 diary stories... so I decided to make my own! Sorry if Numbuh 3 isn't completely in character, but these are her thoughts, not actions (well, kinda), and she's older in this.

Operation: D.E.N.I.A.L.

Diary

Entries

Not

Impugning

All

Love

Thursday, June 15

4:36 P.M.

This diary is so cool! I totally love my mom for buying me this.

School gets out tomorrow! I am so glad. I hate the last week of school. All we do is sign yearbooks and watch the old Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Good movie, but why can't we watch a Rainbow Monkeys movie? They are so much better.

Today's mission was so boring. We battled the Tolietnator (how'd he get out of prison? He's really weak) yet again, and guess who won? If you guessed us, then you're right! Not like he'd ever defeat us, anyways...

I wonder where Mushi is. It is sooooo much fun to play Rainbow Monkeys with her! She's the best to play them with... except Numbuh 4. He gets all red and keeps saying, "cruddy Rainbow Dorkies," even if that's mean... but it's still really funny when he says it!

Mom's making me go downstairs... maybe a present? Like a new Rainbow Monkey? YAY!

5:14 P.M

I HATE MY MOM.

ARGH. I want to scream and rip my hair out so badly right now.

So I went slowly downstairs to see what my mom wanted. BIG mistake.

"KUKI! WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?" she yelled at me.

"Nothing, Mommy," I said, all cutesy-like. She stops yelling immediately when I do that.

"Aunt Yukiko and her kids are coming tomorrow," she said in a very calm way, unaware of the fact that I had nearly had a seizure in shock.

No one told me my stupid cousins are coming tomorrow! I hate them all so much. They just love to annoy me.

Two years ago, Cousin Sayuri decided she was a hairdresser, and I was the client. I had choppy hair for nearly half a year because fixing it would "hurt her feelings."

She was three! It's not like she would have noticed or anything!

Cousin Ryo is equally annoying. He's Tommy's age, and they play when he visits, even if they can't understand each other. Their favorite activity? Toilet-papering my room.

But Cousin Sakura is the most exasperating of all. She's the same age as me, but she's totally perfect! Mom is always like, "Kuki, why can't you have manners, like dear Sakura?"

Or, "Kuki, why don't you have lovely skin like Sakura?"

Hello? It's not my fault stupid hormones give you acne! Maybe Sakura's like, immune to them... creepy. Anyways, back on topic.

Sakura learns English at school. She has an A+ in it, too. I know. I've checked her report card. SO WHY DOESN'T SHE SPEAK ENGLISH TO ME? She can talk to "dear Cousin Mushi" in English, but suddenly forgets it when she has to speak to "dear Cousin Kuki"! She knows I don't like speaking Japanese, even if I'm fluent in it. Stupid, stupid Sakura. -stabs her with a rusty knife-

I'm going to the treehouse. It is way better there, and Numbuh 1's dad actually understands that a house is supposed to be cool in summer and warm in winter, unlike Mr. Don't-Touch-The-Thermostat. I can also stuff my face with popcorn and Rainbow Munchies and not get yelled at for spoiling my appetite. Seriously, who cares?

5:21 P.M.

I'm not allowed to go. My dad is sooooo annoying. "You spent so much time at the Uno's house! Don't you think you ever annoy them, Kuki? And it's a SCHOOL NIGHT!"

Me: -le sigh-

So now I have to go eat dinner. (It's sushi, at least. Mushi and I love sushi, especially because it rhymes with Mushi's name.) Mom and Dad have sashimi (raw fish on rice), which is totally disgusting. And I'm forced to watch them gorge on it.

They should have Rainbow Munchies sushi. That would be good. Wait, on second thought, no. Who wants refined sugar with seaweed?

9:04 P.M.

Haha. Dad cracked and let me go to the treehouse. He had a bad excuse, anyways. A SCHOOL day? Hello? Tomorrow's the last day of school!

So now I'm lying on my bed at the treehouse, listening to my mix of favorite songs, which ranges from the Rainbow Monkeys theme song to KND Idol.

Numbuh 1 says to turn it down. I seriously don't care, so I'm going to make it louder. In your face, Nigel Big-Butt! Haha.

KUKI SANBAN IS THE TOTAL RULER OF ALL THINGS IN SECTOR V, AND THERE'S NOTHING HE CAN DO TO STOP ME!

9:05 P.M.

He says I have to go to bed now, or he'll call Numbuh 86 and her team in to decommission me. They scare me.

Friday, June 16

1:50 P.M.

Math class. As in every class, we're watching Willy Wonka. But I snuck in this diary and my iPod. Not like the teacher cares, though. She's typing stuff on her laptop. And only goobers like Numbuh 2 are actually watching the movie.

Ooh! I just remembered. Numbuh 4's in this class. Maybe he wants to listen to my iPod with me!

1:51 P.M.

He doesn't like "cruddy girl music." Figures. And it's not cruddy girl music anyways! ... Wait, why do I care if Numbuh 4 cares?

Hold on, some girl is poking me in the back. Ow. Lemme see what she wants.

1:52 P.M.

Stupid teacher's pet. She was all "Ms. Anders wants everyone to watch the movie!" Like I care what she thinks.

I better pretend to watch or I'll need a chiropractor because of this girl's infatuation with poking my back...

3:43 P.M.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. School is officially over! No more adult tyranny! That is, until seventh grade. Oh, well.

4:17 P.M.

I'm at home. And am greeted by the "lovely" faces of Sakura, Ryo, Sayuri, and Mushi.

Oh, joy. Suddenly all my happiness for summer has been drained away. Time to go play Rainbow Monkeys with Mushi and Sayuri (Sakura is "too old for those babyish toys". They're NOT babyish!) and hear how perfect Sakura is from Mom and Aunt Yukiko. Yay.

6:39 P.M.

I hate my mom even more.

Mushi, Sayuri, and I were playing Rainbow Monkeys Go To The Prom, and Mom and Auntie were talking, like most adults do. Then the conversation turned to me. I suppose they were oblivious to the fact that I was within earshot. Maybe they forgot I could comprehend Japanese.

"Does Kuki have a boyfriend yet, Genkei?" Aunt Yukiko said.

"Not yet, but I believe she has a crush on that Australian friend of hers." My face turned a deep scarlet. I don't have a crush on Numbuh 4!

"Sakura's had a boyfriend for a couple of years now." She's such a little person that's it's obvious she'll have legions of guys after her.

"Kuki hasn't grown up yet, not like Sakura. She's still the same child she was at five."

"I've noticed. She's still playing Rainbow Monkeys with the little girls. Maybe she should go hang out with Sakura."

"Good idea."

Then I heard my voice being called very shrilly, and my mom telling me in English to go find Sakura and hang out with her.

So I spent an hour dying in the presence of Sakura. She talks about no one else but herself. And her boyfriend, Saburo. But that's just to make her seem more important.

She is so self-centered! Ugh. After dinner, I'm going to go sneak off to the treehouse.

Saturday, June 17

9:28 A.M.

I had sooooo much fun at the treehouse! I told everyone about Sakura, and Numbuh 4 threatened to "beat the crud outta 'er" - it was sooooo cute! And so is he...

OH MY GOSH.

OH MY FLIPPING GOSH.

DID I JUST WRITE THAT NUMBUH 4 IS CUTE?

Is Mom right? I don't like Numbuh 4! -deep breath- Anyways. I watched Numbuh 2 and Numbuh 4 play video games and Yipper. When they finally finished (how long can a stupid trading card game take?) Numbuh 5 and I stuffed our faces with chocolate and marsmellows, but I felt bad afterwards.

All those saturated fats and oils are sooooo going to give me fifty more pimples later.

I fell asleep after that, and I woke up at like 8:00 in the morning, thinking it was a school day. So I went and waited at the bus stop, until I realized half an hour later it was summer, and it was Saturday anyways.

I felt like going home and taking a nap, and when I rang the doorbell, darling sister Mushi answered.

She yells really loud, that Mushi. Just loud enough to have my parents wake up and start yelling at me for waking them up (it was Mushi!) and for sneaking off to the treehouse.

Not like their house is fun anyway.

I'm going to take my nap now. I love naps. It means Sayuri, Ryo, Mushi, and Sakura can't bother me. Hahaha.