A/N: This is mid-Eclipse through the end of Breaking Dawn from Edward's perspective. Thanks for reading!

These characters are not mine and all belong to Stephenie Meyer.


Thank you to Amanda Pall, jujubooboo23, BruSwan, Guiltypleasure82, BrownEyedGirl815, jaanavihairani, MorganKFreeman, Janett Nikolaus, TheyCallMeHoney, Kfel, myspunkette, breadlord69, losberbisque-1, and ReeceK for your generous reviews!


A/N: Sorry for the week-long delay in updating.

I started this story as a way to entertain myself through the pandemic. 2020 was one of the slowest years of my life. Well, 2021 is turning out to be one of the busiest. Still, I have no plans to abandon this story. I'm going to try to get back to updating approximately every 2 weeks, but if I miss that deadline again, I'll adjust to a more realistic update schedule. As always, check my profile for updates. I always put a note there if I anticipate a delay.


Transformed (Breaking Dawn)

Brilliant red irises stared unblinkingly into the light overhead. Her gaze shifted as she tracked some minute thing through the air. Dust perhaps? I didn't know - I couldn't take my eyes off her face.

She inhaled.

Confusion. Comfort. Confusion again. Subtle surprise.

I tracked her quickly evolving emotions as Jasper processed them.

She was really here. A thinking, feeling being.

I squeezed her hand lightly.

Her body locked in shock. She hissed and I could just barely follow her trajectory as she launched herself off the table, somersaulting into a crouch with her back to the wall.

...you might not be able to see her as Bella anymore, I'd told Jacob once. But that's who she'll be...

So why was I suddenly so unsure of that?

Had she forgotten me? Amnesia - like Alice? Or did she remember me? Resent me?

Resent me for whatever mysterious happenings transpired through her stillness.

Her stillness.

Yes, she was a thinking, feeling being. A thinking, feeling being deprived of oxygen prior to transformation. What were the ramifications of that?

My Bella. She was my Bella. But who had my Bella become? What thinking, feeling being had I preserved in amber?

Jasper was fully focused on Bella so he missed my own chaotic emotions in that first second.

He missed my anxiety. My pain over her rejection of my touch. My elation that her body was truly healed and well. My awe at her speed and grace. My deepening anxiety over her apparent wildness.

Wildness that also inspired... desire...

Bella's body, her face - everything about her was absurdly feminine. She was a goddess coiled to spring in her one-shoulder dress and silver high-heeled shoes. Perfect dark eyebrows angled over large ruby eyes.

Lethal. She looked absolutely lethal.

The butterflies in my stomach weren't from fear or attraction, but from some strange combination of the two I'd never known before.

I supposed I liked danger.

But I needed to focus. The goddess had zeroed in on me.

She stared intently at my hand still extended across the table, showing no emotion. Her eyes flitted to my face and she studied me as if I were a stranger.

Wonder. She felt wonder as she stared at me.

Abruptly, she straightened.

The distance between us was both awkward and charged. I felt a strong impulse to close it but I couldn't act on impulse now. No. Even as impulses of every variety hummed beneath my skin.

Focus. I needed to focus.

Very slowly, I walked around the table, my hand still outstretched.

Careful now, Edward, Jasper cautioned.

"Bella?" I said her name softly, hoping not to startle her again.

Her gaze was fixed on me as I approached, but she didn't answer.

"Bella, love? I'm sorry, I know it's disorienting. But you're all right. Everything is fine."

Worry.

My words seemed to have the opposite effect than intended.

I stopped not a foot from her and raised my hand tentatively.

That's a bad idea, Jasper warned. Give her a minute.

I ignored him and I was glad I did. Her cheek was satin beneath my fingertips.

Pleasure. Confusion.

Enough, Edward. Back up a little.

I curled my hand so my palm rested entirely against her cheek.

Desire.

That took me by surprise. More than that, it pleased me.

Jasper was surprised as well, but much quicker to question it than I was. Don't let that give you a false sense of security. She's cycling through about thirty emotions per second.

I arched one eyebrow, desperate for her to say something.

Could she speak?

If I hadn't been watching everything so closely through Jasper's eyes, I might have thought Bella meant to attack me. Quick as a blur she threw her arms around me, pulling me into a hug. I felt her face against my chest.

For her it was all peace, comfort. For me on the other hand -

Esme and Carlisle grimaced while Alice and Emmett fought back laughter.

Jasper watched anxiously, his pose rigid. If you don't get her off of you, I will.

I leaned back, trying to pull away slightly. I wasn't going anywhere. She was strong.

Round red eyes looked up at me.

Confusion. Fear. Hurt.

"Um... carefully, Bella. Ow."

She pulled away from me immediately, folding her arms behind her back.

"Oops," she mouthed.

Warmth spread through my chest at the word and I smiled. "Don't panic, love."

Unable to resist, I lifted my hand to touch her lips, parted in horror. They were so full and lovely...

Keep your head, Jasper chided.

"You're just a bit stronger than I am for the moment," I told Bella.

Her eyebrows pushed together in heartbreaking distress.

I stroked her cheek again.

Jasper, though he tried to hide it from me, felt her desire return.

Very carefully she brought her right arm out from behind her back and raised it to touch my cheek. Her touch was pure pleasure.

She stared deeply into my eyes. "I love you," she said, her voice like shimmering bells. Like singing.

Bella loved me. Still.

Bella loved me. And so she would always love me, for the rest of her limitless existence.

That was enough.

A smile stretched across my face. "As I love you."

I took her face between my hands and leaned forward slowly not wanting to put her on the defensive.

This is foolish, Edward. Idiotic...

I touched my lips to hers, pressing as lightly as if she was still flesh and not stone. Her beautiful pout was silk, but firm. Durable.

My lips were suddenly desperate, demanding. Starved.

The tip of my tongue traced the curve of her lower lip and her mouth was welcoming. Very welcoming. It was all I could do to hold back a groan.

I slid one hand down her back almost pulling her off the ground in my enthusiasm to crush her closer to me. The fingers of my free hand locked greedily onto her hip.

She met my fervor. Her arms around my neck made escape impossible as she shaped her form snugly against my body. I felt her leg tangle with mine, her calf rubbing against the back of my leg...

Amid the combustion I was soothed. Soothed by her intoxicating scent. Soothed by the delicious taste of her.

I wanted to devour her.

I was vaguely aware of Esme, a little startled, turning to Alice to mouth, "The cottage?"

The project had been abandoned when we'd returned from the honeymoon early, Bella sick and pregnant. They hadn't resumed work over the last couple days, too busy babysitting Rosalie and Jacob and doting on Nessie. And certainly not anticipating Bella and I would need the privacy anytime soon.

Alice pursed her lips in uncertainty, her calculus compromised by the two very large blindspots downstairs.

Carlisle, staring politely at his shoes, was a little taken aback - in all the transformations he'd witnessed this was a first.

You know, Jasper and I have to stand here and watch this, Emmett explained. She could turn on you any second and we're the ones in charge of saving you when she does... Literally just stuck here watching you two kiss like virgins. I swear, if Ness wasn't the spitting image of you, I'd have serious doubts about what went down on that island...

But I'd put up with much worse from each and every one of them. Even Carlisle and Esme, certainly the most considerate, had had their moments. So I ignored their collective embarrassment. They knew where the door was...

Watch me make Bella blush. Emmett cleared his throat, the sound joking and annoyed at the same time.

Bella froze and I wanted to throw something at him.

She took a half-step away from me, but I didn't release her - I just stepped with her, chuckling as I did.

With my arms still tight around her waist, I was overwhelmed by how present she was. Permanent. Solid. My head was light. Free of calculations or calibrations, alarms or anxiety.

Bella's cheeks glowed as if a white flame burned behind them. She took a shaky breath through her deep cranberry lips.

Ugh. It was sexy. Everything about her was sexy. I was having trouble thinking about much else.

I hadn't immediately appreciated her allure as a human, as blasphemous and incomprehensible as that now seemed. Getting to know her, falling in love with her had stripped away the inexcusable blinders of my species that had concealed the truth from me.

But now that we were the same, a deeply instinctual magnetism thrummed between us. An animal attraction stronger than the call of her blood on that very first day.

Her jewel eyes met mine. She looked impressed and I couldn't have been more flattered.

"You've been holding out on me," Bella accused, her eyes narrowing playfully.

I laughed loudly and the sound was saturated with relief. I'd gotten every part of her back and more. She was healthy and strong and more herself than I ever could have hoped for on day one.

"It was sort of necessary at the time," I reminded her. "Now it's your turn not to break me." I laughed again, grateful I no longer had to be the responsible one.

Her face fell into a look of quiet devastation and even killjoy Jasper couldn't help but laugh.

Carlisle stepped around his body guards, only slightly wary.

"How do you feel, Bella?" Carlisle asked.

"Overwhelmed. There's so much..."

I watched her lips move, fascinated...

"Yes, it can be quite confusing," Carlisle affirmed.

Bella nodded once. "But I feel like me. Sort of. I didn't expect that."

I managed to squeeze her, somehow, even more tightly against me. "I told you so," I whispered.

The corner of her lip turned up just slightly.

Her facial expressions were fewer and subtler. How incredibly frustrating. She was even more a mystery to me now than she had been before.

"You are quite controlled," Carlisle said. "More so than I expected, even with the time you had to prepare yourself mentally for this."

"I'm not sure about that," she said somberly.

Carlisle nodded. Even that - her self-awareness and speculation... it's quite a mature thing. "It seems like we did something right with the morphine this time. Tell me," he said eagerly, "what do you remember of the transformation process?"

Bella hesitated and I focused on Jasper. She was nervous about something.

"Everything was... very dim before. I remember the baby couldn't breathe..."

Panic as she looked up at me.

"Renesmee is healthy and well," I promised her. "What do you remember after that?"

Nervousness again. "It's hard to remember." She looked back to Carlisle. "It was so dark before. And then... I opened my eyes and I could see everything."

She's lying, Jasper and Jacob thought almost in unison. Jasper based off the concoction of uneasiness and embarrassment rolling off of her. And Jacob - eavesdropping downstairs - because he was Jacob. It seemed their connection could not be entirely explained away by Nessie.

I winced understanding now that Bella had suffered in silence and stillness. The strength to do so was unfathomable. Had she heard me calling to her? Felt me squeeze her hand?

I supposed she'd been trying to protect me. It was very Bella.

Only Alice noticed my reaction. The others ate her lie easily.

"Amazing," Carlisle breathed.

Jasper sensed her guilt. I'll tell him later, he assured me.

"I want you to think - to tell me everything you remember," Carlisle pressed.

Bella grimaced. If the truth wasn't so bleak, I would have been amused at the sticky situation she'd put herself in.

Carlisle misunderstood. "Oh, I'm so sorry, Bella. Of course you must be very uncomfortable. This conversation can wait."

Surprise. Discomfort.

Bella's hand flew to her throat as if she'd only just noticed her thirst.

Jasper tensed. She's overdue to hunt. Let's move this along.

I dropped my arms and tugged at her free hand. "Let's hunt, Bella."

Her eyes widened comically at my proposal.

I smiled encouragingly. "It's quite easy, love. Instinctual. Don't worry, I'll show you."

Bella stayed frozen.

I grinned, raising my eyebrows. "I was under the impression that you'd always wanted to see me hunt."

Stunning me, she burst into laughter, the sound like pealing bells.

Esme and Alice took in my wondering expression with satisfaction.

Absolutely drunk on her, Jasper thought disapprovingly.

Ready to be away from his commentary, I asked, "Shall we?"

I pulled her hand from her neck. Distracted, I smoothed my fingers down the column of her throat, imagining what it would feel like under my lips, my tongue...

Focus. Jasper again.

"I don't want you to be hurting," I told Bella in a low murmur.

"I'm fine," she said quickly. "Wait. First."

Jasper blinked in surprise.

"Yes?" Carlisle asked, deeply curious as to what could be more pressing than her newborn thirst.

Jacob had a guess. She feeds first, bloodsucker. And then we'll see.

"I want to see her. Renesmee."

I felt both sympathy and an unpleasant chill as her hands dropped to her stomach, her fingers clutching at the silk.

Perhaps this will upset her, Carlisle said meeting my eyes. She seems quite reasonable. Maybe being honest about our concerns is the best way...

"What?" she demanded sharply.

"Bella," I said soothingly. "That's not really a good idea. She's half human, love. Her heart beats, and blood runs in her veins. Until your thirst is positively under control..."

Disappointment.

"You don't want to put her in danger, do you?" I asked gently.

She frowned. "Where is she? Is Rosalie with her?"

C'mon, get her out of here, Jacob insisted. He stood between Rosalie, holding a napping Nessie, and the stairs, half expecting Bella to shoot down them like a crazed animal.

Bella hadn't been up ten minutes and already he was testing my patience.

"Yes," I answered Bella, my agitation with Jacob saturating my voice.

I pulled her hands gently away from her stomach, trying to redirect her.

"Wait," she protested. "What about Jacob? And Charlie? Tell me everything that I missed. How long was I... unconscious?"

Incredible, Carlisle mused. He looked to me. I'm surprised she hasn't asked us how the stock market's doing yet...

"What's wrong?" Bella whispered, noticing our shared glance.

"Nothing is wrong," Carlisle said. "Nothing has changed much, actually - you were only unaware for just over two days. It was very fast, as these things go. Edward did an excellent job. Quite innovative - the venom injection straight into your heart was his idea." He smiled at me proudly. I told you so, he teased having swallowed Bella's lies.

Then he sighed. "Jacob is still here, and Charlie still believes that you are sick. He thinks you're in Atlanta right now, undergoing tests at the CDC. We gave him a bad number, and he's frustrated. He's been speaking to Esme."

"I should call him..." Bella murmured, but then her shoulders curved forward slightly as if in defeat and I wondered if she recognized the difficulties now. "Hold on," she said abruptly. "Jacob is still here."

Remember that you sort of owe me, Jacob pleaded.

We should definitely hold that tidbit back for now. Carlisle met my eyes again. Otherwise I might lose the bet, he joked.

Carlisle never joined in on our gambling - this was a first. He was quite tickled by the prospect of beating Emmett at his own game.

"Bella," I said quickly. "There's much to discuss, but we should take care of you first. You have to be in pain..."

Her eyes tightened and she swallowed convulsively. "But Jacob - "

"We have all the time in the world for explanations, love," I said calmly, not betraying my growing anxiety.

Jasper sent a wave of ease over her.

"Okay," she finally agreed.

"Wait, wait, wait," Alice called from the doorway. She danced to my side setting Jasper on edge. "You promised I could be there the first time! What if you two run past something reflective?"

"Alice - " I protested. I'd almost gotten Bella outside.

"It will only take a second!" She darted to Rosalie's bedroom.

"What is she talking about?" Bella asked.

Before I could answer Alice skipped back into the room carrying Rosalie's huge, gilt-framed mirror.

Jasper hovered, moving with her while always keeping his eyes locked on Bella's face.

His uneasiness set off mine. Jasper had a bad habit of overreacting when it came to Alice. But I relaxed a little when he smiled wryly, reacting to Bella's sudden awareness of him.

More afraid of me as a vampire than she was human, he mused as she examined his scars with new eyes.

Alice stole back Bella's attention. "Edward gave me grief for not getting you to a mirror before the wedding. I'm not going to be chewed out again."

"Chewed out?" I objected, raising an eyebrow.

"Maybe I'm overstating things," she murmured dismissively as she turned the mirror towards Bella.

"And maybe this has solely to do with your own voyeuristic gratification," I said pointedly, referring to certainly much more than this incident.

She winked. There was no point in denying it.

Bella's expression was neutral as she stared into the glass.

Pleasure. Confusion. Terror.

"The eyes?" she whispered with clear distaste. "How long?"

"They'll darken up in a few months," I said in a soft, comforting voice. "Animal blood dilutes the color more quickly than a diet of human blood. They'll turn amber first, then gold."

I was surprised to find I was in no hurry for that to happen. Red was... intriguing.

"Months?" Her high, stressed pitch pulled me out of my distraction.

Jasper took a step forward processing the severity of her anxiety as Alice looked ahead.

She's okay, Alice decided.

Bella took a deep breath. "No, I'm fine." Her eyes flickered once to her reflection and then to Jasper. "It's just... a lot to take in."

Wow. Carlisle stepped closer unconsciously.

How the hell is she doing that? Jasper wondered to himself, brow furrowed.

"I don't know," I murmured. It was months after my transformation before I could exhibit that level of control. And that was only because I'd had the benefit of continuous feedback in the form of Carlisle's thoughts.

Told you not to underestimate her, Alice thought superiorly.

Bella frowned. "What question did I miss?"

I grinned. "Jasper wonders how you're doing it."

"Doing what?"

"Controlling your emotions, Bella," Jasper replied. "I've never seen a newborn do that - stop an emotion in its tracks that way. You were upset, but when you saw our concern, you reined it in, regained power over yourself. I was prepared to help, but you didn't need it."

"Is that wrong?" Bella asked, freezing her body in place.

"No," Jasper said, but it almost sounded like a question.

Bella remained locked in stress, not inspired by Jasper's tone.

I stroked my hand down her arm and was pleased when she thawed to my touch. "It's very impressive, Bella, but we don't understand it. We don't know how long it can hold."

Her face was blank as she considered that.

"But what do you think?" Alice pressed, pointing impatiently at the mirror.

"I'm not sure." Bella looked at herself again, her eyes wary as they moved over her reflection. She raised her hand slowly to her face.

I sighed. I was missing, just as I had anticipated I would, the transparency of her human reactions. Her fidgeting, the telling set of her shoulders. How every emotion would play across her face.

She turned to me, raising an eyebrow. I felt a trembling in my stomach as she trapped me in her cherry gaze.

"Disappointed?" she asked impassively.

I laughed. "Yes," I admitted.

My response was met with strong disapproval from all except Rosalie who seemed mildly surprised but pleased, and Jasper who, while finding my response unintelligent, was grateful for another test of Bella's reactions. He leaned forward, waiting for Bella to snap.

Yeah, you're not getting laid tonight, Emmett informed me.

Alice snarled.

Bella's eyes widened with shock and hurt.

Ignoring Jasper's objections, I stood behind her and hugged her tightly to my chest.

"I was rather hoping that I'd be able to hear your mind, now that it is more similar to my own," I clarified. "And here I am, as frustrated as ever, wondering what could possibly be going on inside your head."

Bella forgave my insensitive joke easily. Her reflection smiled up at me and for a moment I was lost in the happy picture in the mirror. Two halves of the whole.

"Oh well," Bella said a little smugly, showing no concern for the eternal frustration that lay ahead of me. "I guess my brain will never work right. At least I'm pretty."

I growled in her ear. "Bella, you have never been merely pretty." I was just considering pressing my lips to her neck when Jasper, agitated, curtailed my mood as best he could.

I sighed, pulling back. "All right, all right."

She'll feel bad if she takes your face off, he pointed out.

"What?" Bella asked.

"You're making Jasper more edgy by the second. He may relax a little when you've hunted."

She looked up at Jasper's worried expression and nodded. "Okay. Let's hunt." She unwrapped my arms from around her waist keeping just my hand.

"The window?" she asked when I pulled her to the wide opening.

I smiled. "It's the most convenient exit. If you're frightened, I can carry you," I teased.

"We have all eternity, and you're worried about the time it would take to walk to the back door?"

I frowned slightly, worrying how all the precautions might affect her. I didn't want her to feel bad or wrong. But she was still a newborn, despite her strangely regulated behavior at the moment.

"Renesmee and Jacob are downstairs..."

"Oh." She leaned in closer to me. "Is Renesmee... okay... with Jacob there?" He wouldn't hear her whisper downstairs. "He doesn't like her much."

"Trust me, she is perfectly safe." I didn't lower my voice as she did. He could use the reminder. "I know exactly what Jacob is thinking."

"Of course," she murmured, looking down at the grass below us.

"Stalling," I challenged, eager to keep her on track.

"A little," she admitted. "I don't know how..."

Emmett chuckled wondering if transformation had magnified her klutziness as it had his strength.

"Watch me," I said.

I dropped to the grass, the motion as simple as any other step. I couldn't exactly empathize with her. The first time I'd leapt from any significant height I'd been mid-hunt, wild with thirst. My body had carried me over boulders and through the air as I sought the closest pulse.

But Bella was strangely sane. She was more worried about her dignity than what must be excruciating thirst.

Dignity was hers. When she finally stepped through the window, she was an angel descending from heaven. She landed gracefully on the toes of her silver shoes.

Her face lit up with a brilliant smile. "Right. Easy."

I smiled back. "Bella?"

"Yes?"

"That was quite graceful - even for a vampire."

"Thank you," Bella said, beaming.

I watched curiously as she bent down and pulled the shoes from her feet - it was oddly comforting to have her returned to her natural height - and lobbed them up through the open window.

Alice caught them casually, her sight preparing her for the projectiles. "Her fashion sense hasn't improved as much as her balance," she grumbled.

I took Bella's hand and together we ran to the river's edge.

"Are we swimming?" she asked when we stopped.

"And ruin your pretty dress? No. We're jumping."

She pursed her lips, hesitating only briefly this time. "You first."

I touched her cheek, loathe to put the fifty yards of the river between us even for a few brief moments, and then launched myself over the water.

From the others' eyes, I knew she watched me studiously. Amused, I couldn't help but add a little flourish - a somersault just before I disappeared into the trees.

"Show-off," she muttered.

I laughed, unashamed.

She took her first stride forward but stopped suddenly at the sound of tearing fabric.

She didn't! Alice had apparently had this dress picked out for a while.

Some psychic.

Bella ripped the right hem, splitting it to the top of her thigh. She fixed the torn left side to match before nodding to herself.

Only Alice was unamused.

Even Jacob chuckled, grudgingly recognizing his friend in her no-frills pragmatism.

"Bella?" I called, moving back towards the shore. "Do you want to watch again?"

The suggestion seemed to spur her on. She ran for the river, springing off of the same stone I had.

Emmett watched, impressed, as Bella flew over a distance more than twice the width of the river.

I raced towards her peals of delighted laughter and found her about thirty feet up a tree. She met my eyes and danced gracefully from limb to limb, descending easily. Her smooth, bare legs stretched and coiled until she landed at my side soundlessly on the very tips of her toes.

I looked into her bright, excited eyes. She was so... happy.

How long had it taken me to experience happiness as a newborn? I hadn't.

"Was that good?" she asked, her breathing accelerated with excitement.

"Very good," I answered, smiling. My eyes, reflected in hers, were wide with surprise.

"Can we do it again?" she asked, stretching up on her toes with whimsical energy.

"Focus, Bella," I said. "We're on a hunting trip."

"Oh, right." She nodded. "Hunting."

Her face went blank and I immediately missed her sunnier expression.

"Follow me... if you can," I taunted. I gave her a quick grin before launching myself deeper into the forest.

I ran at about eighty percent my normal speed and felt her gaining on me with her longer, more powerful strides.

She was giggling when she caught up to me and she couldn't seem to stop. She shrieked playfully as she soared twenty feet over a dense cluster of branches. After that she seemed more interested in jumping than running. Her feet touched the ground so rarely she was nearly flying.

I slowed a little to watch her. Thick mahogany hair and blue silk stretched out behind her as her bare feet launched her over great mossy expanses.

She was a magical thing. Something out of a fairy tale. No, a fairy exactly.

A fairy who was both distracted and distracting.

"Bella," I called dryly, stopping.

She kept running for a moment though I was certain she had heard me. I hardly had time to consider the very alluring idea of trying to capture her and hold her prisoner when she sighed and skipped gracefully back to my side. She looked up at me expectantly, her dark lips slightly puckered in a look of exaggerated innocence after her brief mutiny.

I smiled, raising one eyebrow. "Did you want to stay in the country? Or were you planning to continue on to Canada this afternoon?" I asked with mock disapproval.

"This is fine," she said, staring at my lips. "What are we hunting?"

"Elk. I thought something easy for your first time..." I trailed off as her eyes, narrowed, flashed up to mine. There was the pleasurable nervousness in my stomach again and I could almost hear Jasper. Focus, Edward.

I relaxed a little when she directed her gaze away from me.

"Where?" There was urgency in her tone now as she scanned the trees, whipping her head left and right.

I put my hands lightly on her shoulders. "Hold still for a minute."

She did, looking up at me with a gentler expression than before. Trusting.

"Now close your eyes." I moved my hands to her face, stroking her cheekbones.

I'd meant the touch to be soothing, but her breathing sped and I worried I was only making her more anxious.

"Listen. What do you hear?"

There were five elk paused to drink from the creek. She would hear their steady hearts easily... if she was paying attention.

"By the creek, to the northeast?" she asked a moment later, eyes still closed.

"Yes. Now... wait for the breeze again and... what do you smell?"

After another long moment her nose wrinkled adorably.

I chuckled. "I know - it takes some getting used to."

"Three?"

"Five. There are two more in the trees behind them."

"What do I do now?"

I smiled. "What do you feel like doing?"

Carlisle had asked me that exactly on my first hunt. The words were hardly out of his mouth when I'd thrown myself towards the pumping streams of blood.

Bella's eyes snapped open, but she didn't move.

"Don't think about it," I told her, lifting my hands from her face and stepping back. "Just follow your instincts."

She loped lithely down the incline, shifting into a crouch as she drew closer to her prey. Her eyes centered on the large male as she slowed. Tensed like a cheetah, she prepared to spring -

The scent hit her first and like that she was gone, the elk long forgotten. I followed her automatically, knowing even before the fragrance met me half a second later what must have drawn her away in such dramatic fashion. I scanned outward and heard their thoughts faintly. Two young backpackers about three miles out.

I had no hope that my distractible little vampire would lose focus now. She was fast and had the lead, but I knew I could catch her. The greater problem would be finding a way to restrain her so neither of us got hurt.

Furious with myself, I pushed harder, trying to get more out of each stride.

Happy. She'd been happy. That feeling would be long gone if she got to those hikers or latched her teeth onto me.

Jasper had been right to doubt me - I hadn't been taking this seriously enough.

I caught a flash of blue silk through the trees. She was slowing, surely reacting defensively to my approach. Just a few more seconds and I'd be even with her.

She stopped and turned abruptly, a feral snarl rumbling out of her deceptively delicate form.

I watched her intently from a few feet away, slowly extending my arms as I prepared to seize her.

The wind shifted, bringing with it fresh, untainted air.

Her eyes widened and I tensed, fearing she might spring, but instead she straightened out of her crouch. She held her breath, panicked.

Was she frightened of me?

I lowered my arms and took a careful step towards her, trying to show her I meant her no harm. I only wanted to help.

There was some reason in her eyes now. Maybe she'd let me carry her away. Or perhaps I could delay her from breathing long enough that the hikers' scent would fade. If she was insistent on searching for it I could deceive her, lie to her about the direction from which I could hear their thoughts...

"I have to get away from here," she spat through her clenched teeth, interrupting my anxious brainstorming.

"Can you leave?" I asked, stunned.

She was already gone, running in the exact opposite direction of the hikers.

I took off after her knowing at any moment she would round on me again when instinct overtook her strange bout of willpower.

After a minute I was with her, intentionally keeping just a few feet back so I could catch her. But the precaution proved unnecessary. She continued on never hesitating.

When there were more than enough miles of safety between us and the hikers I closed the small distance and ran right beside her trying to make sense of what had just happened.

She stopped dead and I breezed past her. Her expression was smooth as I wheeled around to return to her side.

I put my hands on her shoulders and leaned down to stare into her eyes. "How did you do that?" I demanded, shock evident in my voice.

"You let me beat you before, didn't you?" she accused, her tone cutting.

She was upset because I'd thrown a race? I shrugged and shook my head. "Bella, how did you do it?"

"Run away? I held my breath." She explained this as if it should be obvious to me.

"But how did you stop hunting?" I pressed.

"When you came up behind me..." Her face was somber now. "I'm so sorry about that."

"Why are you apologizing to me? I'm the one who was horribly careless. I assumed no one would be so far from the trails, but I should have checked first. Such a stupid mistake! You have nothing to apologize for."

"But I growled at you!" she moaned, clearly upset with herself.

"Of course you did. That's only natural. But I can't understand how you ran away."

She looked at me as if doubting my intelligence. "What else could I do? It might have been someone I know!"

I could see it. Bella picturing Mike Newton's bewildered face as he encountered her in the woods, teeth bared, looking like this.

I threw my head back laughing uncontrollably as I tried to wrap my head around this one. What a baffling creature she was.

"Why are you laughing at me?" she asked, furious.

I stopped at once, wary. I really wasn't very good at this. If she was anything like a typical newborn, she probably would have decapitated me by now.

Her face relaxed slightly and I could guess at the effort she exerted to do so.

"I'm not laughing at you, Bella. I'm laughing because I am in shock. And I am in shock because I am completely amazed."

"Why?" She sounded suspicious, like maybe I was only trying to appease her.

"You shouldn't be able to do any of this. You shouldn't be so... so rational. You shouldn't be able to stand here discussing this with me calmly and coolly. And, much more than any of that, you should not have been able to break off mid-hunt with the scent of human blood in the air. Even mature vampires have difficulty with that - we're always very careful of where we hunt so as not to put ourselves in the path of temptation. Bella, you're behaving like you're decades rather than days old."

"Oh." She sounded unimpressed.

I'd once wondered if she was really even human. And here I was wondering if she was really even a vampire.

It was something in her very essence. Though her body was entirely new, this part of her was the same.

How very wrong I'd been...

I held her face again. "What wouldn't I give to be able to see into your mind for just this one moment."

She stared back at me very seriously. Could she sense it? My worldview collapsing in on itself as I tried to comprehend her.

Her fingertips stroked my face gently. My cheeks, my jaw, finally my lips. "I thought I wouldn't feel this way for a long time? But I still want you."

I blinked in shock. "How can you even concentrate on that? Aren't you unbearably thirsty?"

I was, and I knew my discomfort could only be a fraction of hers.

She gave me a sour look, not appreciating the reminder, and closed her eyes. Her body tensed again, ready to hunt.

I searched out for anymore stray humans but there was nothing to hear. The air, too, seemed to be clear, though in it I picked up the scent of a mountain lion. I dropped my hands and held my breath so as not to distract her, hoping she would find it.

Her eyes flashed open and she darted east, easily navigating the steeply sloping terrain. She crouched lower as the trees began to thin with the rising elevation.

I stayed with her, not letting her get quite as far away from me as I had the last time. I dropped further back when we were in close range of her target.

Bella stealthily scaled a silver fir, gaining the strategic higher position over the large cat in the next tree over. He was hunting, too - stalking unsuspecting elk.

I watched the two hunters discretely from the ground level. Both were still.

I knew her strength - I'd felt it compress my body, seen it in her impressive bounds - and yet, it took all my willpower to hold myself still now and allow the cat and the beautiful woman their match.

The lion's tail twitched and Bella sprang, landing lightly on his branch. He whirled, shrieking as the wood shivered beneath his great paws. His claws swept at the air and he bared his teeth in warning. She wasn't moved by his threatening display as I was. With a look of violence on her face she launched at him and the two tumbled twenty feet through the air before rolling a few more feet along the ground.

The lion was on top when their momentum finally stopped. His claws squealed along her skin, he mouthed at her throat.

My hands were in tight fists. She's safe, I chanted, she's safe.

Her knees locked into his sides stabilizing him - I could hear his ribs snap under the pressure - and her teeth locked onto his throat.

The cat had a little more fight and complaint in him, but she looked serene. Her eyelids slid closed and she pulled from his neck.

The life left the cat completely, leaving him limp on top of her. It was a few moments later that she released his neck and shoved his carcass away in disgust.

I flitted closer, leaning casually against a tree as if I'd been there the entire time.

She stood in one fluid motion and examined herself.

I did the same.

She looked wild. Her hair was a tangled mess and her arms and legs were covered in dirt. There was a little bit of blood on her lips. Quite a bit more on her dress which had been cleverly altered with diagonal slashes across the top.

I forgot my thirst entirely.

She wiped her mouth on the back of her arm and I realized my own was hanging open.

I quickly composed myself.

"Hmm," I said.

She looked up, only now noticing her audience. "I guess I could have done that better."

"You did perfectly fine. It's just that... it was much more difficult for me to watch than it should have been."

She raised her eyebrows in confusion.

"It goes against the grain - letting you wrestle with lions. I was having an anxiety attack the whole time."

"Silly," she said reprovingly.

"I know. Old habits die hard. I like the improvements to your dress, though."

I waited for the blush that would never come. Instead she stared at me blankly for a long moment and I wondered if I'd offended her.

"Why am I still thirsty?" she asked.

"Because you're young."

She sighed. "And I don't suppose there are any other mountain lions nearby."

"Plenty of deer, though." I smiled apologetically.

She pouted. "They don't smell as good."

"Herbivores," I explained. "The meat-eaters smell more like humans."

"Not that much like humans."

"We could go back," I said solemnly, a twisted, yet titillating fantasy occurring to me. "Whoever it was out there, if they were men, they probably wouldn't even mind death if you were the one delivering it." I imagined myself the stray human hiker. Bella looking exactly as she did now - my eyes raked over her ravaged dress again - emerging from the trees, her terrifying red gaze sending my heart into a frenzy. Her fingertips stroking my jaw. Her lips tasting of blood as she crushed my own... She'd pull me down on top of her, her thighs nearly breaking my bones as she locked me in place against her body. Her lips whispering my name into my ear as she angled for my throat. Her moans as her teeth delivered that final kiss...

"In fact," I said, looking longingly into her eyes, "they would think they were already dead and gone to heaven the moment they saw you."

She rolled her eyes, clearly over my repeated and shameless attempts to hit on her. "Let's go hunt some stinking herbivores," she muttered.

Right. I was the one getting distracted now.

I drained three deer before I was satisfied.

When I was done, I found Bella watching me. I didn't entirely understand her expression - intense eyes, a subtle smile - but something in it gave me butterflies again.

"No longer thirsty?" I asked.

She shrugged "You distracted me. You're much better at it than I am."

There'd been a small, irrational part of me that worried that, even as a vampire herself, watching me hunt might disgust her. It seemed the opposite was true.

"Centuries of practice." I smiled.

"Just one," she corrected.

I laughed. "Are you done for today? Or did you want to continue?"

"Done, I think." She grimaced, but her face smoothed out quickly. "I want to see Renesmee."

Given her impressive display earlier, I was certain she could handle being in the same room as Nessie. We'd start there.

I held my hand out to her.

She took it in both of hers, smiling as she brushed her fingertips across my skin. Then she stroked the planes of my face as if relearning them now.

I was dazzled. Entirely caught up in her vivid eyes, her sweet breath drawing me closer.

Almost as if she'd read my mind, with deliberately slow movements, she stretched up on her toes and secured her arms around my neck.

There was no danger. No judgmental audience. No fiery thirst. No anxiety.

A desperate, exasperated voice in the back of my head nudged me. Let go, Edward.

So I did exactly what I felt like doing. I locked my arms tight around her waist and pulled her hard against my body, capturing her in a deep, passionate kiss.

She was eager but gentle under my adamant lips, minding her strength. One hand made it's way to my hair, the other efficiently undid the buttons of my shirt so her fingers could draw patterns across my chest.

I felt so light. Unrestrained. I made no secret of my desire, pulling her hard against me so she could feel the evidence of it.

She responded enthusiastically. I felt her thighs up around my hips and the next thing I knew we were horizontal.

"Oops."

I laughed under her.

"I didn't mean to tackle you like that. Are you okay?"

She straddled me, her breasts skimming my chest with each excited breath. Her parted luscious lips were mere inches above mine...

I stroked her face. "Slightly better than okay." There was absolutely no reason not to take her right then and there... except one.

Though I was very certain I could keep her distracted, possibly for hours... I knew what she wanted most even if she couldn't remember it herself at the moment. Or maybe I was wrong... She seemed quite happy here. And there was a lot more than Nessie waiting for her at home. The dog and all his baggage. Would he ruin her mood? Send her and her bizarre control into a death spiral?

Selfish.

"Renesmee?" I asked uncertainly.

She considered that quietly for a moment while I waited, hopeful.

"Renesmee," she said ruefully.

She pulled us both up onto our feet.


A/N: Up next, Bella learns Jacob's news...

Also, I just updated my story 1918: Snapshots of Edward Masen for those of you who like prequels. Contrary to this story, it's a very quick read.