A/N: This is mid-Eclipse through the end of Breaking Dawn from Edward's perspective. Thanks for reading!

These characters are not mine and all belong to Stephenie Meyer.


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Need to Know, Only (Breaking Dawn)

I wasn't reading for pleasure.

No, Madame Bovary had never appealed to me. But Carlisle insisted it had to be read in the original French to be appreciated and I was humoring him.

And really, why not? I had more extra time on my hands than I liked. I hadn't bothered to enroll in school. Ever since Emmett had joined the family almost two years ago, we hadn't been able to stay anywhere long. Self-control wasn't exactly one of his strengths.

The frequent moves were irritating and of course there was the cost of human life... but, overall, I couldn't deny that life was richer for me, for all of us, with Emmett around. He brought warmth and humor to our family.

Or he had, at least.

Now he was just as much an agitation as Rosalie was. No, worse.

They were both much worse.

Had I realized what was to come, I most certainly would have found something to study at the local university. No, I would have taken a semester, or several, abroad.

But I hadn't, and so here I was, in an armchair reading Madame Bovary.

Carlisle sat opposite me, reading a medical journal. Esme was curled up on the cushions of the window nook drawing in the leather bound sketchpad l'd bought her yesterday.

We all froze as the ceiling over our head rumbled. There was a peal of giggles and a booming laugh.

Then there was again the scratch of Esme's pencil, the ruffle of pages as Carlisle thumbed through his journal. They were determined to accept this, to look the other way and endure it.

After all, Rosalie was happy. Rosalie. I didn't know she was even capable of that.

And not just happy. Joyful, exhilarated, entirely fulfilled...

God, this was torture.

"Edward?" Esme was watching the hardback cover of Carlisle's book bow unnaturally in my hands.

"Yes?" I asked, putting great effort into keeping the agitation out of my tone.

"Why don't we go into the city this afternoon? Look how dense the cloud cover is. I'm sure it will hold."

Esme had noticed that my excursions from the house were becoming longer and more frequent. I'd hardly been home since Emmett and Rosalie returned from their extended honeymoon three days prior. I was only there now, reading godawful Madam Bovary, to satisfy Esme. I knew it hurt her, reminded her of the years I'd spent apart from them, when she saw my eagerness to leave.

"Yes, that sounds - "

There was a crash upstairs - a splintering of wood, the shattering of glass - followed by a noise much more fit for an animal than a man.

Esme and Carlisle looked up at me, suddenly on my feet, the wretched book snapped closed in my hands.

"I'm moving out," I announced, my tone as casual as if I were commenting on the weather. I dropped the book on the armchair and strode out the door. I had more than enough money on me to buy any new belongings I'd need. Nothing, nothing, was worth going back into my bedroom separated from Emmett and Rosalie's by one measly wall. Not that a thicker wall, or twenty of them, for that matter, could help a mind reader.

Esme and Carlisle stared at each other for a long moment before Esme whispered, "Well, go after him."

I paused when I was several miles out, deep in the small forested canyon down the hill from our house, and considered my options. We weren't far from a large city. I could move there and keep Esme relatively happy. But it was too sunny here. I'd be stuck inside all day. Perhaps it really was time to move abroad. London, maybe...

Edward.

"You're not going to persuade me to stay," I said, definitive, yet chipper with relief.

"They're in love. It's... It's natural," Carlisle argued weakly.

"Yes, fine." Sarcasm dripped from my words. "And I'm very happy for them."

No, I hadn't been happy since I stood beside Emmett as his best man. They hadn't even gotten through the excess that was their wedding before all hell broke loose.

"Esme has a solution," Carlisle said.

I listened for a moment and my eyebrows shot up. "She would do that?"

"She's afraid of losing you." Subtle disapproval colored his tone - I was hurting her. "We've been discussing it. We were waiting for them to... emerge."

I snorted. "Good luck with that." Then I sighed. "I'm staying in town for now, but tell Esme to get me if she wants help."

He smiled. "I will."


At times through the night Bella forgot her strength and pleasurable pain morphed into, well, just pain. But I said nothing, grateful I could make some small payment against my past sins.

But, then again, I wasn't sure this counted. Even amidst the pain there was the view, the heavenly melody of her voice, her intoxicating scent... No, this definitely did not count.

The deep black of the sky began to fade and I wished the Earth would turn just a little slower. This night, the best night of my existence, was so undeserved and yet it still felt completely unfair that it had to end.

"Do you miss it?"

I was curled around Bella, holding her, so she didn't see my bemused expression.

"Miss what?" I murmured into her hair.

"All of it - the warmth, the soft skin, the tasty smell... I'm not losing anything at all, and I just wondered if it was a little bit sad for you that you were."

I laughed quietly. She was still just as silly.

"It would be hard to find someone less sad than I am now. Impossible, I'd venture." My lips skimmed her shoulder blade. "Not many people get every single thing they want, plus all the things they didn't think to ask for, in the same day."

"Are you avoiding the the question?" she asked, playfully stern.

I lifted my hand from her abdomen to press it to her silky cheek. "You are warm."

Warm - this new definition of it - was natural. It was the comfort of gentle currents. It was safe and lovely.

The heat had been Bella, pleasurable, but it was always an alarm of her fragility. Even as it was exciting, it torched my nerves. It was how I felt her.

Now I could just... feel her.

My fingertips skimmed down her throat, traced the point of her breast and carried on down to her waist.

She pulled in a ragged breath.

"You are soft."

Like satin. Satin I could savor now without hurting her, without killing her.

"And as for the scent, well, I couldn't say I missed that. Do you remember the scent of those hikers on our hunt?"

"I've been trying very hard not to," she said in a disgruntled voice.

"Imagine kissing that." Times a thousand, I wanted to add, given what her scent did to me.

I hadn't realized how much tension that alone had caused me. Anxious when I couldn't detect her scent because she was far from me and tense when I could because it scalded me.

Releasing that burden was so freeing, I felt like I could fly.

"Oh." Her voice was strained.

"Precisely," I said quickly, wanting to distract her from what was surely pain. "So the answer is no. I am purely full of joy, because I am missing nothing."

The truth of that hit me. That I was surely the happiest man who had ever lived. No hyperbole.

"No one has more than I do now."

I pulled her face around too mine, kissing her passionately.

It was another hour before we spoke again.

"How long does this go on?" Bella asked. "I mean, Carlisle and Esme, Em and Rose, Alice and Jasper - they don't spend all day locked in their rooms. They're out in public, fully clothed, all the time. Does this... craving ever let up?" She arched her back allowing me deeper inside of her, as if I needed clarification over what she referred to.

I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to focus on her question rather than the cravings themselves.

"That's difficult to say," I answered. "Everyone is different and, well, so far you're the very most different of all." Entirely unique. "The average young vampire is too obsessed with thirst to notice much else for a while. That doesn't seem to apply to you. With the average vampire, though, after that first year, other needs make themselves known."

For Emmett and Esme it had been that way; romantic inclinations arising around the year mark with partners lined up for them. Those needs had come about quickly for Carlisle and Rosalie once they'd fallen in love. It hadn't been so dissimilar for me, only my longings had been heaped with guilt and anxiety.

"Neither thirst nor any other desire really ever fades. It's simply a matter of learning to balance them, learning to prioritize and manage..."

"How long?" she pressed.

I smiled at her insistence and then wrinkled my nose as I recalled my trauma. "Rosalie and Emmett were the worst. It took a solid decade before I could stand to be within a five-mile radius of them. Even Carlisle and Esme had a difficult time stomaching it. They kicked the happy couple out eventually. Esme built them a house, too. It was grander than this one, but then, Esme knows what Rose likes, and she knows what you like."

Carlisle and Esme had not been nearly as bad, but they, too, in those earliest days, had gone stretches, weeks where they didn't surface. They were quieter about it, sometimes disappearing into the outdoors. That initial honeymoon period was the only time Esme had ever allowed me to wander off without hassle. Or maybe she just never realized I'd left.

"So, after ten years, then. Everybody is normal again? Like they are now?" she asked.

I smiled at her ignorance. How many times had I longed for that ignorance?

"Well, I'm not sure what you mean by normal. You've seen my family going about life in a fairly human way, but you've been sleeping nights." I winked at her. "It makes balancing your... interests quite easy."

It seemed that, once awoken, lustful urges and needs were a fierce thing in my kind. First feeling them myself, I'd thought of them as human urges, but I'd come to realize the intensity of them, the nature of them was very characteristic of my kind. Particularly possessive and animalistic. Passionate to a degree with which no human could compete.

And there was no doubt this longing was all the more powerful for us vegetarians with other mechanisms of physical gratification denied.

"There's a reason why I'm the best musician in the family, why - besides Carlisle - I've read the most books, studied the most sciences, become fluent in the most languages... Emmett would have you believe that I'm such a know-it-all because of the mind reading, but the truth is that I've just had a lot of free time."

As we laughed, deep vibrations moved through our joined bodies and instinct dominated once again.


The little pond outside reflected the bright silver morning and a faint glimmer played across Bella's skin.

Her lips placed delicate pecks along my shoulder.

While her physical proximity no longer sent up alarms, there were new anxieties. A new clock ticking down.

"Renesmee..." I murmured when Bella met my eyes.

She sighed and then her body, supple through the night, went rigid with stress.

The jolt of emotion through her reminded me she was a newborn. Something I had so easily forgotten through our peaceful night.

"It's all right, love. Get dressed, and we'll be back to the house in two seconds."

She sprang up and the sudden absence of her pressure, her warmth was painful. She looked down at me where I laid on my side, propped up on my elbow staring at her and there was a new edge to her tension. Her head whipped comically between me and the direction of the house.

Understanding, I smiled. The conflict existed in me, too, I just had more experience in sorting through it.

I hadn't conducted a formal survey, but it seemed to be the case that these types of hungers, when finally indulged in my kind, weren't short-lived affairs. Had there ever been an initial tryst between two vampires that lasted not even twelve hours?

I thought not.

How unfortunate for this sultry little vampire who seemed to thirst for carnal indulgence no less than human blood.

I was prepared - well, more than that - to indulge her a little longer, but reminded her, "It's all about balance, love. You're so good at all of this, I don't imagine it will take too long to put everything in perspective."

She nodded thoughtfully, adorably. "And we have all night, right?"

I smiled widely. "Do you think I could bear to let you get dressed now if that weren't the case?"

My words inspired something in her. She took a shaky breath and her eyes roamed hungrily over the entire length of my body.

And then she was gone, disappearing beyond the double doors of the closet.

I shook my head, trying to clear the the fog of that last lingering glance.

When I stood, I could see the floor had not gone unscathed, but the damage wasn't horrible. I had a pretty good guess the rug rolled up and standing on its end in the corner of the room wasn't left there by mistake.

"Which ones are mine?" Bella hissed.

I was at her side before she finished her question. She was staring horrified at the rows of white garment bags lined up in the massive closet.

"To the best of my knowledge, everything but this rack here" - I tapped the single bar that stretched the length of the half-wall beside the door - "is yours."

"All of this?" she asked incredulously.

I shrugged. What had she expected?

"Alice," I reminded her. She uttered my sister's name at the same moment, though it sounded more like a curse.

Bella's nostrils flared and she exhaled sharply. "Fine," she muttered.

I was too distracted watching her body lengthen gracefully as she stretched to unzip the closest garment bag to warn her she wouldn't want what was inside.

She growled when soft pink silk shimmered through the small opening she'd made.

Fearing she might choose to claw the gown to shreds - it would look quite lovely on her some day if its life wasn't cut prematurely short - I placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

"Let me help." I inhaled deeply and moved to the opposite end of the room where there was a built-in dresser. I inhaled once more - the top drawer. I opened it and pulled out a neatly folded pair of faded jeans.

She was still standing on the far end of the room when I turned and smiled at her. If only all of Bella's problems were so easily solved.

Amazed, she flitted to my side. "How did you do that?"

"Denim has its own scent just like anything else. Now..." I sniffed again, anticipating her need before it could upset her, "stretch cotton?" I retrieved a hanger from a densely packed half-rack and tossed her the long-sleeved white t-shirt.

She caught it and, absurdly, I was impressed.

"Thanks," she said fervently before bringing the items to her nose, memorizing the scents.

I caught her looking at me after I'd dressed, seeming to undress me with her eyes. I chuckled once, shaking my head, before grabbing her hand and leading her out of the house and out of solitude where the temptation to linger was much too great.

Though I knew this fiery longing would never really ebb, my self-control was awarded almost immediately.

Our little one was up, her thoughts a sweet glowing radiance.

She was so easy to hear, crystal clear a mile before my family's thoughts even began to register, so my tension eased before Bella's could. It eased further as I realized there was a notable absence.

I analyzed Nessie through Rose's eyes. Again there were changes, but in my anxiety I had imagined even greater progression.

Carlisle, Esme, Alice and Jasper watched, engrossed, as Nessie sat on the floor with Rose and Emmett. She was twisting Esme's cutlery beyond repair when Bella and I materialized before her. At the sight of Bella's face she warmed, impossibly, from her baseline joy.

Nessie threw the spoon in her hand into the floor - Esme hardly registered the damage to the hardwood - and pointed up at her mother.

They all laughed and watched as Bella snagged Nessie up from the ground.

Bella didn't seem to notice their presence at all, even as Rose and Emmett eyed her with identical impish grins.

Emmett shifted his gaze, looking over me with mock confusion. Thought you'd be walking funny today. So... not as exciting without the interspecies element?

I could hear then something I'd missed before. The emotion behind it was so rare for Emmett, it took me by surprise.

Emmett was jealous.

Jealous of of that interspecies element, jealous he had been in no shape for frolicking in his newborn days, jealous simply because Rose had assigned them to babysitting duty last night when he would have rather spent it upstairs.

He tried to hide that, though.

I met his patronizing expression with a smirk and an eyeroll.

He frowned, not wanting to believe a prude like me had a more exciting sex life than him.

I tuned him out.

Bella and Nessie were drowning in one another, just as they had yesterday. Two wide smiles. Another precious image to hold close to my heart.

Jasper smiled unconsciously, basking in the rays of their mutual adoration. Alice snuggled against him, feeling it flow out from him, unchecked.

I patted Nessie's curls and she spared a glance for me, her smile growing so huge that her eyes closed, and then she was once again riveted to her mother's face. I sensed an invitation in her thoughts, or maybe insistence was a better word - that I should be looking at her mother's face, too.

My daughter through and through.

I didn't worry when Nessie's thoughts drifted to her thirst or when she touched Bella's cheek to let her know. Instead I darted to the kitchen to heat her breakfast.

"How long has she been up?" Bella asked behind me.

"Just a few minutes," Rose assured her. "We would have called you soon. She's been asking for you - demanding might be a better description." She left out Nessie's grouchiness that Jacob was absent, too. Though Nessie's feelings about Jacob's absence felt more like he was late for an appointment - she expected him to always be here - whereas her feelings about Bella were something more akin to anxiety and need. Had it all been real? Bella seemed too good to be true.

"Esme sacrificed her second-best silver service to keep the little monster entertained," Rose continued, staring at Nessie with overflowing tenderness. "We didn't want to... er, bother you." She bit her lip and looked away, trying not to laugh.

Rosalie was embarrassed over the things she was thinking, imagining. But mostly she felt smug. Just ten hours alone with her? Too young, too inexperienced to really know how to please a woman... And after all she went through for him. I tried to tell him...

Emmett was thinking along the same lines. Comforting himself by the fact that we'd arrived sooner than he'd expected.

You guys come in here all prim and proper... Emmett curled towards the floor, the pulses of his silent laugh travelling through the foundation of the house. Like you weren't shagging all night. Where's the chemistry?

Bella ignored him, speaking only to Nessie. "We'll get your room set up right away. You'll like the cottage. It's magic."

Magical, huh? Emmett asked me.

"Thank you, Esme," Bella said fervently. "So much. It's absolutely perfect."

Before Esme, filled with satisfaction, could reply, Emmett's laugh was booming through the living room.

Nessie gave him a look of disapproval, clapping her hands over her ears.

Alice knocked him on the back of the head, but he ignored her.

"So it's still standing?" Emmett demanded between his snickers. He felt bolder with me in the other room. "I would've thought you two had knocked it to rubble by now. What were you doing last night? Discussing the national debt?" He let out another howl of laughter.

He was overcompensating.

I had no shame over the night's activities - more than that, I couldn't have been more proud of how I'd spent the last several several hours - and Emmett knew that. It made me a boring target. Agitating even.

Bella, on the other hand...

Her jaw locked as he mocked her, revealing her hand. He noted Jasper eyeing her cautiously for a moment as her temper flared and then quickly faded as she maturely diluted it.

Ah. Emmett was jealous of that, too. Of the fact that she'd gone after Jacob. He wanted a round with the strong newborn.

He wanted a fight.

I didn't love that.

"Where're the wolves today?" Bella asked, glancing out the windows.

Rosalie frowned, remembering Jacob's face, pinched and pale, as he edged towards the door. "Jacob took off this morning pretty early. Seth followed him out."

Nessie tore her eyes from Bella to look at Rose.

Jacob. I was surprised to hear the word in Nessie's thoughts was not in Rose's voice or anyone else's. This new voice was soft and child-like, and apparently all her own.

For all of her mental voice's sweet tranquility, I felt disturbed. It was too early. Too fast.

And then there was the look on Jacob's face in Rose's memory. That made me nervous, too.

"What was he so upset about?" I asked, walking into the room carrying Nessie's cup.

What had Jacob noticed to make him willing to leave her? What had he thought of?

Or was that it. Had he thought something wrong? Should I have been here? Did I always need to be here, monitoring his thoughts?

I hadn't wanted believe I needed to do that. I didn't want to believe it now.

But believing the best of Jacob Black would not protect her.

Bella handed Nessie off to Rose to feed her, though I was sure Bella was more than capable.

"I don't know - or care," Rose grumbled, adjusting Nessie in her arms.

She noticed the anxiety in my eyes and took pity. "He was watching Nessie sleep, his mouth hanging open like the moron he is, and then he just jumped to his feet without any kind of trigger - that I noticed, anyway - and stormed out. I was glad to be rid of him. The more time he spends here, the less chance there is that we'll ever get the smell out."

"Rose," Esme scolded gently.

Rose tossed her hair. "I suppose it doesn't matter. We won't be here that much longer."

She had probably allowed herself to imagine more than anyone else the implied future of the imprinting bond. She saw a grown Nessie in the arms of an unchanged Jacob and it made her see red. She didn't shy away from the image, though. Bella and I were obviously too weak to concern ourselves with this anticipated threat, so she would stand on guard for us.

What a hero.

"I still say we should go straight to New Hampshire and get things set up," Emmett argued. "Bella's already registered at Dartmouth. Doesn't look like it will take her all that long to be able to handle school." He turned to Bella with a mischievous grin. "I'm sure you'll ace your classes... apparently there's nothing interesting for you to do at night besides study."

I was hardly paying attention to him - only passively formulating a retort I wouldn't utter in the presence of ladies anyway - when I heard Jacob.

Rosalie's giggle cut off abruptly, shocked by the furious growl that rocked through my frame.

My chest continued to rumble as I heard his thoughts, cocky over the mess he'd made.

Cocky. He was cocky over endangering my family. Bella, Nessie, Carlisle, Esme...

Edward?

What?

Edward, what is it?

Nessie stared at me, frightened by whatever had provoked me, but impressed. I wasn't as terrifying as her mom, but she hadn't imagined I could look this fierce.

Alice, automatically looking ahead in response, growled, "What is he doing? What is that dog doing that has erased my schedule for the entire day? I can't see anything!" She turned to Bella, moaning bitterly as she accepted her most important task of the day would have to be rescheduled. "No! Look at you! You need me to show you how to use your closet."

So annoying. What the hell are they getting all worked up - ?

"He talked to Charlie," I snarled, my hands balling into fists. "He thinks Charlie is following after him. Coming here. Today."

"Fuck!" Alice trilled, twirling on the tips of her toes and launching herself out the backdoor.

She missed Esme's disapproving expression over using language in front of a child. And Esme wasn't wrong. Nessie was curiously toying with the word in her head as she tried to make sense of the frigid climate in the living room.

Carlisle was thinking very hard, considering our options. Stay or run? Stay or run? We could run. We'd cleared out in mere minutes once before. Of course explosives had been involved.

Jasper was disgusted as much as he was fearful. He'd started to like Jacob - probably because he was so happy most of the time - but he was having serious second thoughts now.

What a nutcase, Emmett complained. Well, this should be interesting at least...

"He told Charlie?" Bella gasped in despair. "But - doesn't he understand? How could he do that? No!"

"Jacob's on his way in now," I said through my teeth.

Jacob. Again Nessie thought his name. Jacob? We were angry with Jacob again? Why? Why was this person who was always the most constant, happy, and warm feature of her life always in trouble with us. It was so unfair.

Jacob bounced through the doorway, hyped and wearing a huge grin on his face. Esme and Rosalie grimaced as he shook his wet hair out like a dog, sending droplets onto the floor and furniture.

"Hey, guys."

He had eyes only for Nessie and was so relieved to be back in her presence he didn't take note of his icy audience.

Without looking up from her smile, he reviewed his accomplishments for me. Took care of Sam, took care of Charlie. Check and check. What's my next assignment? he joked.

Wow. Such an asset to our family. What would we do without him?

Seth and Leah slipped in behind Jacob, much less oblivious. Seth was eyeing me while Leah scanned between Bella, Jasper, and Rosalie.

"Rose?" Bella held her arms out and Rose handed Nessie to her wordlessly.

Nessie appreciated this. From Bella's arms she was situated in between her mom and Jacob. She could protect him from here.

Jacob's eyes didn't leave Nessie through the transition. "Charlie'll be here soon," he said casually. "Just a heads up. I assume Alice is getting you sunglasses or something."

Bella's voice was sharp as knives. "You assume way too much. What. Have. You. Done?"

His smile faltered as he met Bella's eyes. Feels like she's gonna set me on fire with those things. "Blondie and Emmett woke me up this morning going on and on about you all moving cross-country. Like I could let you leave. Charlie was the biggest issue there, right? Well, problem solved."

"Do you even realize what you've done? The danger you've put him in?" I could hear the unsheddable tears in her throat.

Jacob snorted. "I didn't put him in danger," he disagreed. "Except from you. But you've got some kind of supernatural self-control, right? Not as good as mind reading, if you ask me." He glanced around the room as if to gain agreement. "Much less exciting."

And then I was in his face, a coiled spring let loose.

Fuck. Jeez. Jacob faltered back a step, his eyes wide.

I took another step towards him. "That's just a theory, mongrel," I snarled. "You think we should test it out on Charlie? Did you consider the physical pain you're putting Bella through, even if she can resist? Or the emotional pain if she doesn't?"

Edward, Carlisle cautioned while Rosalie silently egged me on.

"I suppose what happens to Bella no longer concerns you." I spat the final word at Jacob with disgust.

Daddy, Nessie thought anxiously before pressing her fingers to Bella's face, replaying the confrontation.

Jacob's first reaction was to take offense. Of course I care what happens to Bella. She's my best friend. All I'm - He frowned. What do you mean? "Bella will be in pain?"

I widened my eyes in caustic exasperation. "Like you've shoved a white-hot branding iron down her throat!"

But I watched you lock lips with her. Human. And you acted like it was the best thing that ever happened to you... Huh.

"I didn't know that," Jacob whispered. He felt legitimate remorse, but cancelling that out was his concern over the bridge - did he really think there was one? - he worried he'd burned with me. He knew nothing would turn me on him faster than harming Bella.

"Then perhaps you should have asked first," I growled.

"You would have stopped me." I raced out here not knowing when you two would show up.

"You should have been stopped - "

Bella interrupted me, her voice quivering with anguish. "This isn't about me. This is about Charlie, Jacob. How could you put him in danger this way? Do you realize it's death or vampire life for him now, too?"

He hadn't realized that. He seemed to have only a vague grasp on the rules around the necessity for our secrecy. But he hadn't violated that secrecy regardless, he reasoned.

So what had he told Charlie? I didn't understand.

"Relax, Bella," he said, his tone pacifying. "I didn't tell him anything you weren't planning to tell him."

"But he's coming here!" she objected.

He fought to keep the sarcasm out of his voice. "Yeah, that's the idea. Wasn't the whole 'let him make the wrong assumptions' thing your plan? I think I provided a very nice red herring, if I do say so myself."

"Say it straight, Jacob," Bella snapped. "I don't have the patience for this."

I froze, understanding what he'd done.

Charlie's confused expression transforming to shock as Jacob removed his clothes. Jacob's vantage point moving, changing as he transformed into a wolf. Charlie's face turning an unhealthy shade of purple. The vantage point shifting again. Charlie shouting, Charlie pacing, Charlie kicking a tree.

"I didn't tell him anything about you, Bella," Jacob explained while I watched his memories in horror. "Not really. I told him about me. Well, show is probably a better verb."

What is he talking about, Edward? Esme asked.

"He phased in front of Charlie," I hissed, finding my voice.

"You what?" Bella breathed.

"He's brave," Jacob said, dismissive. "Brave as you are. Didn't pass out or throw up or anything. I gotta say, I was impressed. You should've seen his face when I started taking my clothes off, though. Priceless," he chortled.

I would've paid good money to see that, Emmett conceded.

"You absolute moron!" Bella exploded. "You could have given him a heart attack!"

Leah and Seth grimaced, there father's face flashing into each of their minds.

"Charlie's fine," Jacob reassured her. "He's tough. If you'd give this just a minute, you'll see that I did you a favor here."

Bella's voice was flat and cold. "You have half of that, You have thirty seconds to tell me every single word before I give Renesmee to Rosalie and rip your miserable head off. Seth won't be able to stop me this time."

Seth looked at me with pleading eyes. Can we not let it escalate this time?

I would make him no promises.

Leah glared at Bella. Nasty little leech. Should've let Sam take you out when you were just a whiney little human...

"Jeez, Bells," Jacob complained. "You didn't used to be so melodramatic. Is that a vampire thing?"

No one was amused. Carlisle and Esme, both usually so ready to defend Jacob, gazed at him with the heaviness of parental disappointment.

"Twenty-six seconds," Bella hinted.

Rolling his eyes, Jacob sank casually into the closest armchair. He sprawled out his legs as if exhausted by his morning's work. He ignored me towering over him not a foot away.

"So I knocked on Charlie's door this morning and asked him to come for a walk with me. He was confused, but when I told him it was about you and that you were back in town, he followed me out to the woods." He thought of Charlie's haggard, worried face. "I told him you weren't sick anymore, and that things were a little weird, but good. He was about to take off to see you, but I told him I had to show him something first. And then I phased."

"I want every word, you monster," Bella said tensely.

"Well, you said I only had thirty seconds - "

Bella's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"Okay, okay," he agreed quickly. No time for a repeat of yesterday. "Lemme see... I phased back and got dressed, and then after he started breathing again, I said something like, 'Charlie, you don't live in the world you thought you lived in. The good news is, nothing has changed - except that now you know. Life'll go on the same way it always has. You can go right back to pretending that you don't believe any of this.'

"It took him a minute to get his head together, and then he wanted to know what was really going on with you, with the whole rare-disease thing - " I've had a funny feeling about that, Charlie had muttered, a funny feeling. Never seemed right - "I told him that you had been sick, but you were fine now - it was just that you'd had to change a little bit in the process of getting better. He wanted to know what I meant by 'change,' and I told him that you looked a lot more like Esme now than you looked like Renée."

I hissed.

Jasper's tension was reaching new heights, particularly with Alice away from him. He wanted to grab her and run.

Oh dear, Carlisle thought. Oh dear.

"After a few minutes, he asked, real quietly, if you turned into an animal, too. And I said, 'She wishes she was that cool!" He chuckled.

Rosalie made a gagging noise.

Tough crowd. "I started to tell him more about werewolves, but I didn't even get the whole word out - Charlie cut me off and said he'd 'rather not know the specifics.' Then he asked if you'd known what you were getting yourself into when you married Edward, and I said, 'Sure, she's know all about this for years, since she first came to Forks.' He didn't like that very much "

He thought of Charlie turning red as a tomato. Ranting. You think you've raised a smart kid, Charlie had grumbled. And Edward. I'll kill him. I'll kill him. Should've shot him that day he came back. Right between the eyes.

I defended you, Jacob informed me. Told him you were a great husband. Love her more than anything. That you saved her life.

"I let him rant till he got it out of his system. After he got calmed down, he just wanted two things. He wanted to see you, and I said it would be better if he gave me a head start to explain."

Don't you need a ride? Charlie had asked, grimacing at the idea of being stuck in such a small space with Jacob.

On that point Charlie and I saw entirely eye-to-eye.

Actually, Jacob told him, I can just run there. Faster than a car even -

I get it, I get it, Charlie said waving his hand. I'll leave you to... Charlie jogged off, not bothering to finish his sentence.

Bella took a deep breath. "What was the other thing he wanted?"

He smiled. "You'll like this. His main request is that he be told as little as possible about all of this. If it's not absolutely essential for him to know something, then keep it to yourself. Need to know, only."

Bella's shoulders relaxed somewhat. "I can handle that part," she murmured.

Jacob shrugged. "Other than that, he'd like to pretend things are normal." He glanced at each of our faces, his smile smug. I half expected him to stand up and take a bow.

"What did you tell him about Renesmee?" Bella asked.

"Oh yeah. So I told him that you and Edward had inherited a new little mouth to feed." He looked up at me. I rolled out the lies bloodsucker-style. You would'a been proud. "She's your orphaned ward - like Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson."

My eyebrows shot up in disbelief. Could he have come up with a more asinine narrative? Nessie and I were obviously related.

He misunderstood. "I didn't think you'd mind me lying," he said defensively. "That's all part of the game right?" Another sarcastic grin.

I glared at him, unmoving.

Anyhow... "Charlie was way past being shocked at this point, but he did ask if you were adopting her. 'Like a daughter? Like I'm sort of a grandfather?' were his exact words. I told him yes. 'Congrats, Gramps,' and all of that. He even smiled a little."

Bella was moved by that. Jasper could feel it, a strong counterpoint to all the other negative emotions in the room.

Bella looked down at Nessie. "But she's changing so fast," Bella whispered.

"I told him that she was more special than all of us put together," he said in a tender voice, approaching her.

Nessie stretched her arms out to him. Jacob.

The room didn't feel so frigid to Nessie anymore. She thought Jacob was going to pull through this one, but she wasn't liking the trend. The daily standoffs with Jacob.

Bella hugged her closer, warning Jacob with her eyes.

His face fell a little, but the corners of his lips turned up. "I told him, 'Trust me, you don't want to know about this. But if you can ignore all the strange parts, you're going to be amazed. She's the most wonderful person in the whole world.'

Nessie understood that. She smiled and cocked her head slightly, basking in his compliment.

"And then I told him that if he could deal with that, you all would stick around for a while and he would have a chance to get to know her. But that if it was too much for him, you would leave. He said as long as no one forced too much information on him, he'd deal."

Well, clearly we need to educate him some on our way of life, Carlisle told me, the rules we're bound by. But his plan does have potential. Or so we can hope.

Jacob half-smiled at Bella, expectant. A dog waiting for his pat on the head.

"I'm not going to say thank you," Bella informed him. "You're still putting Charlie at huge risk."

He didn't think so. Not anymore. "I am sorry about it hurting you. I didn't know it was like that. Bella, things are different with us now, but you'll always be my best friend, and I'll always love you. But I'll love you the right way now. There's finally a balance. We both have people we can't live without."

He said this for her but he also said it for me. Too bad the idea that he couldn't live without my infant daughter made me so nauseous I couldn't really appreciate the rest.

Jacob smiled warmly at Bella. "Still friends?" He held out his hand, remembering fondly the times he'd held hers. Times when he'd needed it most.

She smiled a little and shifted Nessie to put her left hand in his.

He squeezed it tightly, unbothered by the cold, and held on.

Nessie stared at their joined hands, smiling.

"If I don't kill Charlie tonight, I'll consider forgiving you for this."

"When you don't kill Charlie tonight, you'll owe me huge."

Bella rolled her eyes.

He held his free hand out to Nessie. "Can I?"

"I'm actually holding her so that my hands aren't free to kill you, Jacob. Maybe later."

He sighed.

Alice darted in, appearing at his side so suddenly he never saw her coming. He reeled backwards, dropping Bella's hand. I was, irrationally, filled with relief at the loss of the benign contact.

"You, you, and you," Alice snapped, glaring at Jacob, Seth, and Leah. "If you must stay, get over in the corner and commit to being there for a while. I need to see. Bella, you'd better give him the baby, too. You'll need your arms free, anyway."

Jacob grinned triumphantly and I had to fight the urge to rip his head off.

Bella's expression changed - she looked ill as she slid Nessie into Jacob's arms. "Take her," she whispered.

Jacob could see the grief in her eyes and nodded, his forehead wrinkling with concern. He had faith in her... but, what if she does kill him? Probably mean my death, too. He swallowed loudly. Rooting for you Charlie...

He gestured for his pack to follow him and he and Seth sank to the floor in the corner. Leah stood her ground, shaking her head with pursed lips.

"Am I allowed to leave?" she demanded, her hands shaking. I hate this place. I hate the smell. I hate the Barbie bimbos - her eyes swept over Rosalie and Bella - I hate you - she met my eyes, expecting my glare.

"Of course," Jacob said.

"Stay east so you don't cross Charlie's path," Alice instructed.

I'll run wherever the hell I want, fucking bossy bloodsucker... But Leah ducked out the back door with every intention of staying east.

I went quickly back to Bella's side. "You can do this," I said, stroking her cheek. "I know you can. I'll help you; we all will."

Her emotions were as plain on her face as they had been human. Complete and utter panic.

"If I didn't believe you could handle it, we'd disappear today. This very minute. But you can. And you'll be happier if you can have Charlie in your life."

See that's what I've been trying to say...

But I ignored Jacob.

Bella, wide-eyed, took deep breaths.

Alice held up a small white box I recognized. Something I'd found tucked into the paneling of my trunk on our honeymoon.

"These will irritate your eyes - they won't hurt, but they'll cloud your vision. It's annoying. They also won't match your old color, but it's still better than bright red, right?"

She flicked the box into the air off her thumb.

Bella caught it, frowning. "When did you - "

"Before you left on your honeymoon," Alice answered absentmindedly. "I was prepared for several possible futures."

There was a beat and then Jacob shuddered, the memory of our wedding a bitter taste on his tongue. He was surprised to remember the coursing hatred so vividly when I looked so different to him now. I forgive him, but that doesn't mean I wasn't right...

Bella nodded, entirely unfazed by Alice's admission, entirely unconcerned that Alice had known she'd suffer and had even made arrangements to cover up the evidence.

Bella pressed a lens to her eye and blinked several times. "I see what you mean," she murmured, placing the second.

It seemed an insult to cover up her ruby irises - I only had so much time to enjoy them - but necessary...

She looked up at me with flat brown eyes, a mockery of her brown. "How do I look?"

I smiled. "Gorgeous." I paused for effect. "Of course - "

Alice interjected, intermixing my planned monologue with her own commentary. "Yes, yes, she always looks gorgeous. It's better than red, but that's the highest commendation I can give. Muddy brown. Your brown was much prettier. Keep in mind that those won't last forever - the venom in your eyes will dissolve them in a few hours. So if Charlie stays longer than that, you'll have to excuse yourself to replace them. Which is a good idea anyway, because humans need bathroom breaks."

She looked ahead at the scene. Charlie walking in and Bella - she shook her head in agitation. "Esme, giver her a few pointers on acting human while I stock the powder room with contacts."

"How long do I have?" Esme asked, kind enough to try to keep the hopelessness out of her tone at being tasked with teaching Bella the art of subtlety and deception.

"Charlie will be here in five minutes," Alice replied. "Keep it simple."

Esme nodded once and took Bella's hand in hers. She could feel the tension in Bella's fingers. Sweet Bella. "The main thing is not to sit too still or move too fast - "

"Sit down if he does," Emmett interrupted. "Humans don't like to just stand there."

"Let your eyes wander every thirty seconds or so," Jasper advised. "Humans don't stare at one thing for too long."

"Cross your legs for about five minutes," Rosalie added. "Then switch to crossing your ankles for the next five."

Bella nodded dutifully at each suggestion.

"And blink at least three times a minute." Emmett frowned - bet he'll want something to stare at besides our faces - then flashed across the room to snatch the remote, setting the TV to a college football game.

"Move your hands, too." Jasper said. "Brush your hair back or pretend to scratch something."

Dear God, Alice griped. "I said Esme. You'll overwhelm her."

"No," Bella disagreed, staring down and nodding as she organized the information. "I think I got it all. Sit, look around, blink, fidget."

"Right." Esme pulled Bella tight against her, her arm draped around Bella's shoulders.

Maybe I shouldn't - Jasper imagined Alice's disapproval - no, this one's important. "You'll be holding your breath as much as possible, but you need to move your shoulders a little to make it look like you're breathing."

Bella took a deep breath.

Standing on her free side, I slipped my arm beneath Esme's and squeezed Bella's waist.

"You can do this," I murmured in Bella's ear.

Her eyes closed in acknowledgement and she leaned her head against my shoulder.

Well, I sort of feel like shit for making her do this so soon... Jacob wasn't blind. He read the dead seriousness of the room. He'd thrown Bella into a bigger gamble than he'd realized. And yet... still the right thing to do, though. No other choice.

"Two minutes," Alice chimed. "Maybe you should start out already on the couch. You've been sick, after all. That way he won't have to see you move right at first."

She pulled Bella away from Esme and I and dragged her to the couch.

Bella pulled out her acting skills, attempting to make her short walk to the couch more human-like.

Everyone grimaced. Except for Nessie who played back the moment for Jacob with concern. Was her mom hurt?

I shot Jacob a warning look in time for him to hold back is laughter.

"Jacob, I need Renesmee," Bella said.

So Ness can see her grandpa's head get ripped off the first time she meets him? He frowned at Bella, unmoving.

"Bella, that doesn't help me see," Alice argued. She could already feel the headache coming on with Bella's decision.

"But I need her," Bella said, her voice pleading.

Nessie's smile was brilliant. Her mom needed her. Whatever it was that was making everyone so uncomfortable, her mom was going to make it okay. And she couldn't do it without her.

Nessie touched Jacob's cheek reiterating her mother's request and her satisfaction, smug, that she was the one Bella had asked for to help.

"She keeps me calm," Bella explained, her panic evident.

Alice saw I would argue on Bella's behalf and surrendered with a groan. "Fine. Hold her as still as you can and I'll try to see around her." She sighed, massaging her temples.

Jacob brought Nessie to Bella, dragging his feet. He retreated much faster, Alice shooting daggers at him.

Controlling, type A vamps...

I sat beside Bella and put my arm tightly around her. I leaned forward to look Renesmee in the eyes where she sat in Bella's lap.

"Renesmee, someone special is coming to see you and your mother," I said in a grave voice.

She listened carefully, wanting to understand her part.

"But he's not like us, or even like Jacob. We have to be very careful with him. You shouldn't tell him things the way you tell us."

Her warm fingers touched my cheek and she remembered touching each of our faces, of the awed reactions she always received.

"Exactly."

She was disappointed. She wanted to share this part of herself with this mysterious stranger, but she would do as she was told so she could help her mom.

"And he's going to make you thirsty. But you mustn't bite him. He won't heal like Jacob."

"Can she understand you?" Bella breathed in wonder.

Holly shit, Emmett thought. He and Bella were not the only ones taken aback by the complexity of her understanding.

"She understands," I affirmed.

Esme and Carlisle shared a worried look. Nessie was progressing so fast.

"You'll be careful, won't you, Renesmee? You'll help us?"

Nessie touched my cheek out of habit. She would help, but something had dampened her eagerness. Jacob, she thought remembering the numerous crescents she'd left on his arms, a handful on his neck.

"No, I don't care if you bite Jacob. That's fine."

Jacob chuckled. Nah, you wouldn't. Nicknamed her after the Loch Ness Monster for a reason, right?

"Maybe you should leave, Jacob," I said sharply, my glare icy.

Don't worry. Your secret's safe with me. He had the audacity to wink. "I told Charlie I'd be here. He needs the moral support." Especially when he realizes his daughter's joined a cult of robots who harvested her brain or something.

"Moral support," I scoffed. "As far as Charlie knows, you're the most repulsive monster of us all."

"Repulsive?" he protested. Right. Still got some of those Styrofoam cups around? Give him a sip of that Cullen hospitality and see who he finds more repulsive. He laughed quietly to himself.

Tires turned off the highway and then I heard him.

Though wordless as always, there was nothing vague about Charlie's thoughts. He hated me and Jacob was right, I was far more repulsive to this man than any mutant wolf. The taste of Cullen hospitality was unnecessary to drive that point home.

Bella's breathing spiked, tragedy in her expression. But she dulled it, transforming her anxiety into calm.

"Well done, Bella," Jasper whispered, endlessly impressed.

He seemed to have a new outlook today. He was proud of her. She was strong, an asset to our family.

I held her tighter, proud, too.

"You're sure?" she demanded of me.

"Positive," I answered in complete and genuine confidence. "You can do anything."

How could I have watched her over the last month and thought otherwise? Bella would always do whatever it took to protect those she loved.

I smiled at her and lowered my lips to hers.

Really, I'd meant to give her just a quick peck. But the feel of her lips... a thousand memories from the night of her silky adoration igniting every inch of my skin... and the taste of her...

The child. There's a child in her arms. Could we keep this G rated? Jacob stared at the floor, disgusted and disapproving.

You guys did get past first base last night, didn't you? Emmett asked with mock suspicion. Starting to think...

Edward. Edward? Jasper sighed. "Er, Edward. You might not want to distract her like that right now. She needs to be able to focus."

I pulled away. "Oops," I murmured, halfheartedly apologetic.

Bella giggled and I tried to suppress the want that inspired.

"Later," she said suggestively. I watched her lips frame the word, her tongue touch the back of her teeth...

Worse than Emmett. "Focus, Bella," Jasper ordered.

"Right," she agreed and Jasper felt the resistance lessen as she attempted to manage her mood.

I suggest later you try for second base at least, Emmett urged. If she's that excited over first base, she's gonna die on second.

Jasper was once again overwhelmed with desire. He shoved the emotion away swiftly, shaking his head a little at the power of it.

"Bella."

"Sorry, Jasper."

Emmett laughed.

Ew. Not as bad as Paul thinking about making out with my sister, but pretty damn close.

Poor things, Esme thought. These early days should be carefree and joyful. No responsibilities, no stress. They're carrying so much...

The sound of the approaching cruiser ended the moment of levity. Even Jacob and Seth sat still, listening closely.

Mom'll never forgive me if something happens to him, Seth worried.

Charlie parked and stared up at the white house. Part of him wanted to leave, to not see what Jacob had planted in his head. He was afraid. What had happened to his little girl? What was going on in this place full of monsters? What had I done to her?

He had to go in, he decided, pushing open the car door. He needed to know she was okay. Happy. Not in some house of horrors I had imprisoned her in. He would find a way to save her if need be.

Twelve thuds. Charlie's footsteps up the stairs and across the porch.

Three knocks.

I felt uneasy. Charlie Swan was the only human being I had ever really feared. Now, having a daughter of my own, I knew just how much hell he would raise if he wasn't convinced of her safety, her happiness.

Bella took a final breath and Nessie nestled into her hair, hiding her face.

Alice saw nothing amiss. She gave Carlisle a nod.

Here we go. Carlisle's expression relaxed into one of warm hospitality and he pulled open the door.


Please, please, please take a second to vote for me in the Golden Onion Awards for the WIP category. Just google search "Golden Onion Awards". Thank you so much! :)


A/N: So I said we would have Charlie's visit and Emmett talking football this chapter, but then it took the length of a long chapter to just get to Charlie's arrival, so... oops.

But leave lots of love in the reviews and I will post again next week with the second half which includes a very important arm wrestling match.

My busy summer is finally starting to slow down so, despite taking nearly a month to update this time, I should be updating more regularly going forward.

If you haven't yet, please check out my fics Being Jacob Black which goes off of SM's Being Jacob Black extra as an outline and Volume 1 of After Midnight Sun. Both fics were updated at the end of last month.