The Lady of the Lake
So here we are again...on the other side of the Quarter Quell.
I'm pretty much saving the big authors note for the end of the chapter.
Thank you so much for still reading! And thank you again for the 800 reviews!
Enjoy!
Chapter 39
"She's not said a word since she came round," I hear Felvia's worried voice from nearby, but I don't look around, "She just, lays there…"
"Let me have a go,"
The voice makes me blink in surprise, and stirs me a little from my malaise. It's familiar, it's trusted, and right now…it's hated…so hated.
Haymitch.
I hear the door close behind him, and for a long moment I stay silent, still.
"Sky…"
"Get out."
He let's out a little huff, but I know it is of relief, not true agitation. Footsteps sound on the polished hospital bed and then suddenly he's there, in my field of vision.
His grey eyes meet mine, steady, heavy.
"I'm not going anywhere sweetheart."
"Get. Out." I close my eyes, shutting him out the only way I can.
"Do you think Cato would be impressed right now?" he taunts, and I feel a shudder ripple along my body, "Would Finnick? His little fighting Sky…giving up."
"You know nothing." I spit at him, "What do you care anyway? It's all over."
I mean the Rebellion; he knows that's what I mean. But angry as I am, I don't blurt out the secret. This is the Capitol; there are eyes and ears almost everywhere. And it's more than my own life at stake. Hundreds of lives.
Bitter as I am…I cannot betray our cause. Cato's, Finnick's, Peeta's…all of the Victors…cause
Thinking of them is like shoving a burning brand into my chest, so I slide back into desensitised apathy. I can't think on them…not now…it's safer not to feel.
"It's not over," Haymitch's hand lightly smacks my cheek, "Stop that."
"It's over for me." I growl back, annoyed at him for not letting me just sink back into the fog that beckons invitingly.
It would be so easy just to break, to slide under the surface, to lose myself in my own mind. I've seen death…so many people die…people I love…I can't…I can't handle this…
"Do you really think Katniss would give up like this if it were her?" Haymitch barks, "Do you think Peeta would just crumble? What about Finnick? What about Cato?"
"Stop using them against me!" I shout at him, and my eyes open in time to see the victorious flash in those grey eyes, "They are dead." I grit out, and the pain of those words is almost overwhelming, "They orchestrated it so I would be the one to live. Live, knowing that everyone I loved died around me!"
"So you could live!" he yells back, "So stop being so damn selfish sweetheart, and don't throw their gift, their love, in the trash."
I seethe at him, furious that his words make sense, that he has the ability to make me feel like losing everyone was a gift. I already feel guilty enough…I lost them all….I failed them all.
"I didn't want to live without them." I cry to him, but this time it's not a shout of anger, defiance or otherwise. There's a quaver in it, fragility…pain, "They were my family…I didn't want to live without them Haymitch. It's my fault…my fault…"
Something flickers across his face then, before he moves forward and awkwardly hugs me about the head, letting me cry into his chest.
"I know…" he strokes my hair as I sob, and sob, "I know…just…Sky…you have to hold on okay? The world needs you. I need you. Mags needs you…Annie needs you."
Annie.
Oh Annie, how she must be suffering the loss of Finnick. Does she know? She will when everyone is made to watch the recap.
When I'm made to watch the recap.
He seems to follow my thoughts and his hand tilts my chin up, grey eyes locking onto my own, "Your…your daughter…needs you."
Daughter.
I stare at him, eyes wide and his lips curl up in a small smile, nodding slightly.
"Daughter…" I whisper, my hand stroking my stomach, "A daughter?"
"They gave you a complete checkup when you were brought in," he smiles slightly, "Congratulations sweetheart. A healthy baby girl."
My hands cradle my belly and I smile at the thought of the tiny life growing inside me. Hearing that it's a little girl, a daughter, with Cato's fire and passion, it's a part of him that will always live on. And it's this part that I will protect with my life if needs be.
"Teesa," I murmur, looking up at him, "Teesa Clove DuGrey."
"To Teesa DuGrey." Haymitch slides a flask out of his pocket and toasts me with it, "May she have her namesake's brains, and not her fathers temper."
The style team are quiet as they get me ready for the stage, for the recap and the interviews afterwards. Felvia clearly has read them a stern act of not talking to me about the Games, and they are being cautious around me, restraining their enthusiasm.
Felvia of course, comes through once again, with an incredible dress.
It's black, but there are subtle tones of blue, red, green inside it as it ripples around my feet. And throughout are embroidered delicate pearls.
Tears of the ocean, I remember her telling me, and for a moment my lips curl up faintly.
I should be dripping in the things.
She ties my hair back, elegant but understated, and the make up too is simple.
It doesn't hide the dark circles under my eyes, or the paleness of my cheeks. And the dress curves over my abdomen, reminding everyone that I am not only a Hunger Games Victor…
I'm a Hunger Games Victor, twice over, who just lost her husband, and the father to be of her child in the Arena.
I look how I feel, drained, tired, but still holding myself tall, still.
This isn't a mask for the Capitol. If I were to wear a mask for their benefit it would be one of health, contentedness, the new mother expecting life rather than focusing on all she lost. No, Mags and Felvia are allowing me this.
To be as I am.
The disc raises me up onto the stage, and I greet the cries of the audience with icy stoicism.
I simply stand there, straight, still, wearing the black of my mourning, looking out at the blur of people, listening to their wails and cries.
Their fake grief didn't save my family.
I feel no warmth towards them now.
Slowly I walk to the front of the stage to join Caesar Flickerman, who looks like he's trying to be empathetic, while still keeping some kind of celebratory feel to the whole event.
"Sky," he greets me, kissing my hand warmly, "Welcome, welcome, please take a seat."
He sits me down as the crowd calms, and then turns to address me, his teeth flashing in the light.
"Now…Sky…how are you doing?"
"I'm alive," I say stiltedly, my throat threatening to close up once more, "For which I'm grateful, but I cannot say I am doing better than that."
He makes a low sympathetic sound as the crowd moans in sympathy. I don't look at them. I don't need their false sympathies.
"Now, we all know how hard it will be for you…and us all…to watch the recap of the Games Sky, but…are you ready?"
I have to be.
I simply nod, and the lights dim slightly as the screen shows the words.
The 75th Hunger Games.
President Snow's voice voiceovers the first part of the video, his voice is reading the announcement of the twist to the Quell, that the competitors would be Victors, while the footage shows small captures of each of the major Victors, of when they originally competed and in the parade.
Gloss, young, so young, and handsome, and then dressed in the opulence of his district, beside Cashmere, who is devastating in her beauty. She looks young in her Games too, running up a rocky slope, fiercely focused.
Then it's Enobaria, Beetee and Wiress, Sefir and Ria, Theo and Adria, Blight and Johanna, Woof and Cecelia, Fells and Rilka, Enrid and Sigrin, Chaff and then Seeder.
Then…then it's Finnick, beautiful, handsome, almost glowing in his youth and beauty, his bright smile cutting through the air. His clip shows him, just fourteen, making the net he used to trap Tributes. And then it's him in the Parade, waving at the crowd.
Katniss is next, with Peeta, tragic lovers, and their footage is together. Our games last time…our games this time.
Then…and only then.
Cato and I.
Seeing him sends a sharp pain stabbing through me, and my eyes automatically seek out Mags and Haymitch in the crowd.
But the footage is not of our games…but of our wedding. And I want to scream as I hear Cato's voice saying his vows.
"By the stone that strengthens us, the metal that protects us and the honour that guides us," Cato murmurs, blue eyes locked onto mine, "I swear to honour and keep you, Schuyler, from this day until my last day. I swear to protect and love you, from this breath until my last breath. And I swear to treasure and trust you, from this heartbeat, until my last heartbeat. I am yours."
How can they be so cruel?
The audience sniffs and a few sobs are heard, but I dig my nails into my palms, fighting it down.
But it gets worse.
The interviews.
"She's my world. I had to protect her. How could I sit back and watch her fight for her life without me there to keep her safe? I had to."
"But now only one of you will win."
"Yes. Her."
"I think she disagrees…"
"She disagreed with Darrien last year too. He swore to protect her with his life. He did. This year…it will be my vow."
Cato's words ring out, the finality of them, the truth of them heard now by all of us. Just as Darrien's were. How could I be worthy of such love, such sacrifice? Why did they do it? I wasn't worth it…not this…never this…
Finnick's sunny voice almost makes me crack, almost brings me to my knees.
"Well Caesar… It's a bit of a craptastic situation all round because…if I do as I want, which is to protect my little sister Sky, then I will leave behind my one true love."
It had been a joke at the time, me, so trusting in the rebellion, so strong in my belief of our playing the Capitol. So arrogant to think that this time…this time we would win. But now…now it just hurts.
"This is especially painful for me. Because it's the love of my life….or my sister. Sky. And she is pregnant."
Peeta, my sweet sunshine Peeta. For a moment my face crumples but I quickly smooth it out once more. This is not theirs, I will not let them see this…this grief…is mine.
Then I hear my own voice, and I look back to the screen to see my own face looking back at me.
"How do you feel now that you have to compete against your husband? Now that he's swearing to die so you can be the sole Victor."
"It…It breaks my heart."
"This must be…devastating for you."
"It is. It's bad enough that it's Cato…but…to be in a Hunger Games with him, AND Finnick, AND Peeta…it's like a nightmare."
"What are your relationships with Finnick and Peeta?"
"They're family. My family. This will…destroy me. Losing them. I'm sure all of you understand. You may be losing them too. I'm sure your hearts are breaking, like mine is."
The footage cuts to the Arena as my voice finishes speaking, and I curse the Capitol, curse them bitterly in my head.
It was supposed to be a lie, to stir the emotions of the Capitol.
It wasn't supposed to become truth.
Damn you, I wail at Cato, Finnick and Peeta, Damn you.
I watch, resolutely, and it's only because I'm staring so hard, that I see it…a brief flicker between scene changes. A blip…an editing blip.
Then I see the attack at the Cornucopia, I see what I had been too busy running to see before.
I see Ria, trapped inside the Cornucopia, Woof bleeding behind her, Chaff fighting with his one good hand. I see Chaff stab Woof, and then I see Ria and Chaff dive for one another, ending each others lives on their blades.
But the footage doesn't leave them.
It follows the bodies to the hovercraft, and then…then…a technician drips something into their wounds.
I frown, what is this?
Ria comes awake first, with a sharp gasp, echoed by all of us watching. She coughs and splutters as slowly Chaff and Woof come too as well.
What is happening!?
My eyes are wide with confusion, my mouth open as I watch the screen, as death after death is shown.
Theo and Adria, Blight, then the battle with Seeder, Rilka and Cecelia, with Katniss, helpless, trying to save them.
All are revived.
My breaths shorten, almost panting as death after death follows.
Beetee and Wiress, Johanna, Sigrin and Katniss.
They show me screaming, my grief and pain palpable, but then...then…Cashmere and Peeta….and then, only then is Katniss revived, with Peeta at her side, to explain, words we cannot hear, whispered in her ears.
The audience is screaming in confusion by this point, but I am frozen, frozen where I am.
I have to see.
But for the first time since I'd woken up in the hospital there is something burning inside me. Something other than grief.
Hope.
When Gloss, Enobaria and Sefir are revived I begin to cry, ugly, wracking, sobs that make me shake with the force of them.
And finally…finally I see Cato and Finnick, their eyes opening in the hovercraft.
They are alive!
The world swims around me as chaos erupts, people shouting, standing, fingers and hands flailing and pointing.
I can't follow them, can't follow any of it until suddenly…silence falls.
"Dear citizens of the Capitol," Katniss' voice speaks from the screen, and there she is, standing proud, beautiful and alive, dressed like a mockingjay, like the symbol of the rebellion.
"My name is Katniss Everdeen, I am 18 years old, a resident of District 12, a Victor of the Hunger Games…and now…I give you this. A warning."
Her grey eyes pierce the screen, and I feel my heartbeat quicken. She is intoxicating; you cannot take your eyes away from her.
She is the voice of the rebellion.
"The life you know, as you know it, is over." She declares, her voice harder than stone, "The Hunger Games are over."
"You may ask who I am to tell you this. I am the Mockingjay. And I stand for all of us. We stand against you."
Gloss and Cashmere step forward, and I feel my face flush, and my head spin lightheadedly.
"District 1 stands."
"District 3 stands."
"District 5 stands."
"District 6….7….8….9…10…11…."
"District 12 stands." Peeta steps forward and I wobble, even sitting.
"District 4 stands." Finnick is there, defiant and enthusiastic as he bounds forward.
"District 2 stands." Cato, strong Cato with his flashing blue eyes and strong jaw, my husband…not taken from me…not yet, steps forward, with dark, passionate Enobaria at his side. She bares her teeth and laughs, and I feel my heart quicken.
Katniss turns back to the screen, to us, and her grey eyes are cold.
"But we are not alone."
The Camera pans out to reveal the might of District 13, soldiers, hovercrafts, weaponry, and personnel and the crowd in the Capitol goes nuts, screaming with fear as I catch Haymitch's eye. He is smiling savagely and I realise.
He did this.
Somehow he hacked this feed, to bring us the message.
That is why he stayed.
"Surrender," Katniss' voice is like ice, "Surrender and we will not have another 'terrible war'." She mocks them and I smile slightly, "This is the Mockingjay. And we stand against you."
The screen goes dark and the hall explodes into chaos.
Colours seethe as people flail about, turning to one another and babbling in terror until President Snow takes to the stage, his face terrible in its fury.
"QUIET!" he roars, and instantly they calm, turning to him like harmless, trusting pet birds, "They shall not defeat us. They are merely a rabble. To be put down at any cost."
His eyes flick across the stage and find me.
"What say you Victor?" he sneers, and I know…I know this is still being broadcast, across Panem, to District 13, to District 4. "Where do you stand?"
I get to my feet slowly, walking to the front of the stage, and I see his eyes flash with triumph. He believes there is no way I will risk my own safety, that I will dare defy him now, here in the spotlight. He believes he has me under his thumb, controlled.
He thinks he knows me.
He's dead wrong.
"I stand against you." I say loudly, and the Capitol gasps. "I stand against YOU!" and I point at the President as Peacekeepers flood the stage. "I stand with District 4. I stand with District 2. I stand with the Rebellion."
Before they grab me I turn to the camera and I know my words are heard.
"Once I told you…not yet…but soon." I tell the world, ignoring Snow's rage as he roars at them to arrest me, "I tell you now." I take a deep breath, "It's time."
"It's time now."
I just have time to see Haymitch's proud smile before he is knocked unconscious, to see Mags slip into the shadows, before the Peacekeepers grab me and I know no more.
The Tumblr, reviews, and PM box are open once again for drabble and graphic requests, thanks to having reached 800 reviews! I will be catching up on these over the next few days, now that the Quell and twist are done. So please! Request away!
So I'm not doing individual review responses this chapter, simply because almost every single one of the 40+ reviews was a cry of OMG NO WHYYYYY? :) And now you know exactly why.
Congratulations to Undertakers Hattress and Eve who sussed out the trick to do with the blade polish! Request anything you want ladies and I shall try to fulfill your desires...something out of the story please...I do have a planned plot, can't really bend it. But other things I can do!
Thank you for sticking through the 'deaths' and I hope you all don't hate me too much now!
