THe Perfect Professor


Number ninety-three Diagon Alley hadn't changed much since my brothers had bought it back in 1996. I remember that it had looked run down, very run down, to begin with, but a lick of paint had fixed most of it. Inside, the floorboards had needed polishing and a new counter made it seem much better.

Now, the thriving joke shop, Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes, had students lining up out the door to look at the merchandise. It was getting out of hand! During the summer, I had practically worked from seven in the morning until ten at night, and people were still trying to get in! It was a wonder if the boys got any work done on the new range.

'Ginny! Hurry up! We need the broom!' George called from the window.

I groaned and opened the backdoor, the one that led on to the side alley. It was an ok place to park a broom, but hell if you had a crash landing thanks to the rubbish bins and hard stone ground. Before I'd left Hogwarts, I'd performed a cleaning spell on the broom, just in case.

Next to the door are a coat rack, and a broom rack. I placed my light jacket on a hook and let the Nimbus float to its place on the broom rack. I owned an Asteroid, the broom that came out after the Firebolt. It wasn't as good as the Nimbus 3000, but no where near as awesome as Firebolt: The New Zone. That was the sort of broom that the Army would use.

Fred was showing the newest batch of students to make it into the shop how some of the Snackboxes worked, to tumultuous applause. George was sitting at the desk, looking at order forms. I sat down opposite him and opened the chocolate I'd bought.

'Did Dumbledore's order get there safely?' He asked distractedly. It was strange seeing my brother like this. I wanted to snap my fingers in his face to see if he was an alien.

'Yeah, but you shouldn't put so much bloody broom polish on the Nimbus!' I complained.

'The can says it stops stains from forming on the wood.'

I made a gesture with my hands. 'It also stops people from riding it! I flew to Hogwarts by hanging underneath it!'

'Sounds like fun.' He grinned. 'I should try that next time.'

I sighed with exasperation and gave up trying to whine about the broom incident. Instead, I thought I might try whining about the shopping. 'You said you'd take me shopping!'

'No, mum said we had to. You never do anything mum tells you to. Why should we?' He asked with annoying logic. 'Besides, you always order terrible things and make us eat them.'

'Like what?' All of my food ideas in the past few days had been delicious! My eyes were just bigger than my stomach sometimes.

'Like that horrible sardine and jam sandwich.' George shuddered.

'That was lovely. I think I might make another one of those…'

Before I could reach the kitchenette, however, someone did a rolly polly out of the fireplace and landed in a heap on the rug. I shared a look with George and went to investigate.

It wasn't hard to believe that Sirius Black had made the entrance. He was coughing from the soot he would have stirred up, and looked filthy. I offered a hand in getting up, and he took it. Once standing, he made a great show of brushing away the dirt from his trousers and shirt. I rolled my eyes at him.

'What brings you to Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes, Sirius?' I asked as we walked into the kitchenette. The sardine and jam sandwich was sounding wonderful, and I couldn't get it out of my head now.

'You. Remus wanted me to keep an eye on you.' He said bluntly as he accepted the drink I handed him.

'He did, did he? And he thinks every member of my immediate family can't even look after their shoe laces?' I could understand why my mother cooked when she was angry. It was fun taking out my emotions on a piece of bread. It couldn't feel anything. At least I hoped it didn't, otherwise I was a monster.

I raised the sandwich to mouth level and suddenly wondered if sardines had any concept of reincarnation, or karma. It was almost depressing enough to make me stop eating it.

'Of course he doesn't. He just knows you're a lot more trouble than shoelaces. And a lot more fun.' He slammed the glass down and looked at me. 'What are you thinking about, Ginny?'

'Oh, just the basic philosophical beliefs of sardines.'

Sirius looked at me like I was insane, but seemed to recover. 'Alright, I have been told to offer my services to you for the day.' I grinned and he sighed. 'Somehow I don't think that is going to involve being a sex slave…' He looked disheartened.

'Not a sex slave, but a slave nonetheless…'





I was sick of shopping. I never thought it would ever be physically possible, but I didn't want to shop ever again. I never wanted to see another snooty shop assistant, another price tag or another discount pair of slacks. I wanted to shoot the person who invented sales, or maybe the person who invented fashion over comfort. My feet felt like they would fall off in a few moments.

Sirius had been a god. He'd carried all of my packages, never said a word and never moaned. He saw me starting to stumble and suggested we find a nice little cafe to have afternoon tea in. I whole-heartedly agreed, and so we did.

He ordered an iced coffee with extra, extra whipped cream. I had a cappuccino with three sugars. We got our drinks and watched the shoppers walking along the streets, arms full of clothes, books and other assorted goodies. There were plenty of students, and it made me wonder how many children were of school going age. It seemed there was a never-ending supply of them coming out of one shop or another.

I'd almost finished my coffee when I saw a familiar blonde walking down the street carrying a small, brown paper bag. Fay was looking fabulous and I had half a mind to pretend not to hear her when she called at me. But, I smiled and waved back and she came over. 'May I join you, Ginny?'

'Of course.' I said, pulling out a chair. 'Fay, this is Sirius Black. Sirius, this is Fay…oh dear, I never caught your last name I'm afraid.' I looked at Fay expectantly.

'I'm Fay Lyrebird.' She told me, but her eyes were on Sirius. 'Professor Fay Lyrebird.'

He seemed to know of her. 'Are you filling in the Defence against the Dark Arts position at Hogwarts this year, then, Professor?'

She giggled. 'Why, yes, I am.'

Whoa! Hold up there Miss Perfect! How could she be taking over Remus' job? He's perfect at it! He is the best Defence against the Dark Arts teacher Hogwarts has ever had! I was in shock. I thought Fay had only come to Hogwarts because of the wedding. Now I know that she was really a sneaky little thing, using Remus as an excuse to get a job!

He smiled. 'I've heard about you, Professor. My friend, Remus, he spoke of you as a child.'

While they were talking, I was shrinking down in my seat, feeling younger than ever. Sirius and Fay would be around the same age, if Remus had known her as a child and he'd raved about her. Older children don't usually talk about their younger playmates.

'That's delightful!' She exclaimed. 'I'm afraid Remmie only told me about you a few nights ago.'

'Yes, you would be up at the castle with Moony…' Sirius seemed to be enjoying this immensely.

'We're having a whale of a time catching up on old times.' Fay told him. 'He's told me all about Ginny and their baby.'

'I'm the godfather, did you know?'

Remus and I agreed that if he got to choose the godfather, I got to choose the godmother. That was an easy agreement, since I had a million male friends and it would've been a really hard choice if I'd had to decide on the godfather. I only had a few female friends, and even then it was tough. Besides, Sirius will do a bang up job of being the godfather to my kid, I know it. Not to mention that lovely compensation cheque from the Ministry would keep little "Rudiger" in style.

'No, I didn't! We'll have to talk together again soon. However,' she stood and tapped the paper bag. 'I ought to be getting back. It was lovely seeing you again Ginny, and so soon!' She kissed my cheeks, which I thought was taking incredible freedom with my face. 'I hope I can meet you again, Mr Black.'

'I hope so too. Have a nice day!'

As soon as she was out of earshot, I hissed, 'You are such a prat!'

'What? What did I do?' He asked, clearly confused.

'I'm not happy with her being so bloody close to my Remus. She's perfect!'

He rolled his eyes at me. 'Come on, Ginny! Moony isn't the sort to be seduced by earthly temptations. God knows I am, but not him. You ought to be more trustworthy.'

'You were melting in your boots with in five minutes. How long do you think it'll take Remus?' I moaned from behind my hands. I had them clamped to my face.

'He won't cheat on you. You're too good looking. Cheer up.'

'Thanks Sirius.' I muttered. 'I want to go home.'

'And which home is this?' He asked politely.

I sighed with resignation. 'I suppose I want to go to the Burrow…'




My mother was not happy with the fact I'd spent several minutes hanging under a broom. My mother was not happy with the fact I was wearing trousers. My mother wasn't very happy in general, but she gave me a bear hug when I came home and pushed some food into my hands, so I know I was still loved.

Ron was in the lounge when I finished dinner. I sat down in a chair, debating whether or not to bug him about Hermione and the baby. He seemed like he'd had a day similar to mine, and I wondered if he'd thought Hermione was cheating on him. Or maybe he was just puzzled by the religion of sardines, bread and jam.

'Whatcha thinking about?' I asked Ron finally.

'Oh, just wondering if there is some sort of afterlife for Butterbeer.'

In that moment I knew that my brother and I were way too close to be normal.


Author's Stuff: Wow, I got my act together and uploaded it. Now the reviews!

Killer Angel Thanks! Iselin and I certainly had a job fixing up the third chapter. It was driving me nuts!

Neni Potter: I think they're a great couple too. And don't worry about Ginny, she'll be alright in the end. At least so far she will be *shifty eyes* Thanks for reviewing.

Chocolate Muse: Yeah, I updated. It was like a drought and then "Whooosh!" all this creativity appeared, so I wrote down a few chapters, but this one was the hardest and needed plenty of "polishing" (Dare I mention it with Ginny lurking?). And, in true Pidgie spirit, my characters will have some relief before I chuck them back into the plot again (and yes, there is a plot with an ending and it isn't just a mindless bit of fun).

Katie Weasley: Why thank you :).

SnogginGodess: Lol. Thanks. I don't want to "saturate the market" so I have to evenly pace my updates ;). But don't worry, I might upload "Floor Roast" earlier than anticipated.

Iselin: Whoo hooo! Sugar! You're such a sweetie ;) Thank you for all the hard work you put into the story and time it must take. I'm half way (sorta) through "Breakfast Training" (caution: name subject to change) and it's pretty ok so far. Thank you again!

aikakone: This review made my day. Thank you very much! And I seriously dig your website :D.

LTDan: Thank you, thank you, thank you. *Takes a bow* And I hope the "wait" wasn't too long for you ;).

MJ: Thanks :). The humour is a bit from me, a bit from my mum, a bit from Stephanie Plum (a LOT from Stephanie Plum, really) and just other sources that make up my life. Thanks for the salute! At ease!

ChaliceInnana: Thanks. Well, I'd love to write kink but I'm not qualified to do so, and I sorta want to keep my PG 13 rating. However, Ginny and Remus will be getting some "action" very soon. Not even a family emergency could stop Ginny from "seizing" the chance to be "comforted" by Remus ;) Hehehehehehe.

Thank you to all the reviewers and anyone else that reads this. You all rock! (That's a good thing...)