Breakfast Olympics

The next morning I practically floated down the stairs. Had you been in my place, I am sure you would have too. In spite of my family having enough gossip for the next twenty years, I had managed to have the best night in months. Mum and Dad slept in the basement, due to the number of Weasley's staying, and had retired so early that I managed to have Remus stay the night.

Ron, Dad and Remus were chatting away at the breakfast table as I walked in. Remus looked good enough to eat with his fluffy bunny boxers, long grey t-shirt, hair sticking up at odd angles and jam on his cheeks from the toast. I put my arms around his waist and kissed his cheek. 'You taste like strawberries.' I told him.

He looked amused. 'I see you are fully recovered from the trauma of having your teddy bear's head ripped off.'

I placed a hand to my head and swooned into his lap. 'Oh dear, I think I might need you to stay another night to "comfort" me.' Inside I was laughing my head off.

My dad cleared his throat. 'Not at the table, please.'

I sighed, moved into another chair and started putting sausages, bacon and eggs on my plate. 'How can you eat that much?' Ron asked me, his mouth hanging open in utter amazement.

'Training.' I told him around munched up food. 'I'm going to see if I can get into the Food Olympics. I want to win gold in the Breakfast Marathon.' He rolled his eyes at my lame attempt at humour. 'What were you guys talking about before I came in?'

'Weddings--,'

'Last night's dinner--,'

'Work--,'

I raised my eyebrow at the three very uncomfortable looking men. Before I could investigate further, Hermione and my mother came into the room. Hermione looked impeccable, but my mother looked like a train had hit her and she was in intensive care. Her hair and make up wasn't done and she was wearing a tattered bathrobe. It was scary.

'Good morning all.' Hermione said. Without coffee, I might add. Ron had spent the night in the basement with my parents as well, so that couldn't have been the reason she was so…well…chipper!

My mother didn't say a word. Instead, she walked to the cupboard and pulled out a chocolate cake. Holding that in one hand, she opened the drawer and pulled out a fork then sat down at the table and ate it. She didn't even offer us a piece. She just stuck the fork in and took a chunk out.

'Ginny, I was thinking last night…' Hermione began. She had laid out her breakfast and was eating it in alphabetical order. Who does that sort of thing? 'And I think you should start planning your wedding now. You've only got a few months or so before your baby is born.' She raised the coffee cup to her mouth and took a sip. 'That is, of course, you are getting married before you give birth.'

Mum spoke for the first time that morning. 'Of course she is getting married before the baby is born. We've had no illegitimate children in this family,' she looked at Ron in a meaningful way. 'And we never will.'

I moaned. 'I don't want a wedding! Can't I elope to Las Vegas and get married in a 24-hour chapel with an Elvis impersonator? We could get ten pounds worth of chips and get the jackpot so we could live in a secluded village in Albania…' I was rambling now, but I suddenly had a picture of Remus dressed up in leather and sunglasses and me in a dominatrix get up, signing a marriage contract and then escaping to some distant country. I decided right then and there to give up watching trashy American movies. Although, Remus in leather was very nice…

My mum was not as impressed with my vision. 'Ginny, no daughter of mine is getting married in a 24-hour chapel! Where do you come up with these things? Certainly not from me, or your father. We are perfectly decent people and you are going to bring more disgrace on to our family if you don't start acting your age and acting like a lady!'

Now, I haven't been the scared, cowed little girl who emerged from the Chamber of Secrets when I was eleven. I got over it, and it made me stronger, I guess. What that means is that I talk back to my mum when she irritates me enough. Trust me, that spiel she just said irritated me enough.

'Mum, would you get off your high horse for just one minute!' I cried. 'Firstly, if I bring disgrace on to this family because I'm marrying a man who is older than me, not to mention a werewolf, I don't care because I'm in love with Remus.' I pushed the chair back so forcefully that it fell over. I slammed my hands on the scarred table. 'Secondly, this is a new generation, mum! No one acts their age and it isn't vital that we act like ladies! How boring would that be?'

It wasn't hard to guess where I'd gotten my temper from. Especially since my mum was rising and getting ready for World War Three of the Weasley family. 'Hermione is a perfectly lovely girl, who acts like a mature lady.' Her voice was deadly calm.

'How much do you know about Hermione, mum?' I asked. 'Did you see her at my eighteenth birthday party? She got smashed and ended up doing a dance on the table in a French Maid outfit. And she's not getting married to Ron any time soon. Maybe he's asked her and she's just afraid to because…because the baby isn't his!' Oh boy, I was going to crash and burn and probably destroy my friendship with Hermione in the process. Too late to turn back now.

'I think I'll go see your relatives off…' Hermione muttered and made a run for it.

Mum was even angrier now. Hermione was the golden girl that I should do my best to be exactly like. Now I'd gone and put a spot on her reputation. I turned around quickly to see if my mum was accidentally doing some Wandless Magic. I didn't want to have several knives sticking out my back! Phew. I wasn't a pincushion just yet.

'Ginny Anne Weasley!' She shouted. Ron, Dad and Remus were looking at us with mouths hanging open and toast forgotten. 'You can go do anything in this world. You can run around acting like a Scarlet woman. You can play practical jokes in your brother's joke shop. You can even marry someone that I'd never suspect in a million years. But you can not try to bring Hermione into the mud as well!'

To my utter surprise, she turned to Remus and said in a polite, calm voice, 'I'm sorry Remus love. We don't usually fight.'

'Mum, I only said it because I'm sick and tired of her being the poster child for the perfect lady! Hermione isn't perfect. I'm not perfect. You're not perfect. No one is perfect.' Except maybe Fay Lyrebird, but that's another story entirely. 'Now, pass me the cake!'

Tempers were calmed, chocolate cake was consumed and I was planning my escape. Remus was back with Fay and they were probably licking chocolate sauce off each other as I pretended to read bridal magazines. They were a load of bull, honestly. The only decent part of the entire magazine was the laughable letters future brides sent in. I know, I'm evil, but who can resist when "Worried from Essex" wants to know how many tiers there should be on a wedding cake?

Ron was sitting opposite me, trying to keep his eyes open. Mum and Dad were out, giving me the perfect time to get out of the house and see some of my friends. All I needed to do was to get Ron to fall asleep long enough for me to slip out of the house and into the big bad world.

I stood up and placed the magazine on my seat. 'Ron, I'm about to make some nice, warm milk. Would you like a glass?'

'You're trying to get me to fall asleep, aren't you?' He asked suspiciously. 'No way. If you're going into the kitchen, get me some Pumpkin juice.'

I rolled my eyes, half because of his stubbornness and half because he'd fallen for my trick. Once in the kitchen, I found the medicine cabinet and took out a bottle of Sleeping Draught my mother uses when we kept having nightmares as kids. Since I think that Ron has not grown up yet, I have no qualms whatsoever about using the Draught this one time. I poured some into a glass of Pumpkin Juice and then put it back.

In the lounge, Ron eagerly accepted his glass and skolled it. I sipped my untampered with glass, grinning maliciously as I am wont to do. My brother has known me my entire life, and yet he believes that I, Ginny Weasley, would get him a drink with no ulterior motive. This is stupidity in an extreme and dangerous form. He will soon discover that I am an evil temptress with plans of world domination! Muhahahahahahaha!

My brother's loud snores brought me out of my thoughts, which were beginning to have a Russian accent. I picked up my wand from Ron's limp grip and tucked it into my pocket. My eyes caught a quill and inkpot and I couldn't resist - I drew a curly moustache on his upper lip. Vandalism completed, I put the ink back and snuck to the fireplace to take advantage of the Floo Powder.

If anyone would hide me for an afternoon while my parents are out and my brother is asleep on the living room floor due to a Sleeping Drought I slipped into his drink, it would be Neville Longbottom. He was my boyfriend for a short time before deciding he was gay, but he's still cool. At the moment, he was living in a two-story house in some awesome neighbourhood full of twenty-something couples and their kids.

The owner of the shop I fell into was very polite and sent me on the right track, so I had soon found the house and was knocking on the door. Neville answered and invited me in for the usual tea and biscuits, which I nodded eagerly to. Apparently his boyfriend was out and I was meant to make myself right at home. I didn't feel like throwing my shoes off and jumping on his bed, so I just sat down on his comfy (and still firm) couch and admired the paintings.

'Jeff's a painter.' Neville told me from the kitchen. 'He's selling a painting right now.'

'Mmhm.' I said diplomatically. I mean, come on! What else is there to say? "I don't like painters; they should all go to hell." Or perhaps the ever popular, "You don't say. Let's have a shag."

'Is Earl Grey ok?'

'Yeah, it's fine.'

Neville appeared from the other room and set down a tea set. I always wondered if people actually did that. In my experience people usually make tea in another room and then bring it out, making tea sets completely redundant. Apparently, Neville makes full use of the misguided present.

'So, how's life in the world of Ginny Weasley?' He asked me.

'It's annoying and frustrating.' I announced, pinching a nice chocolate biscuit. I really hate oatmeal biscuits. I don't care how good they are for me. They can be smooshed into a fine dust. 'My mother is driving me nuts. She wants me to plan the wedding. I thought it would sort of…plan itself if I left it long enough.' I looked around the house then back at Neville. 'Hey, d'you want to do it?'

'Plan your wedding?'

'Yeah, sure. You've got good taste.' I liked this idea. I could shove my workload on to Neville and spend all my time moaning about how bad it is to be pregnant.

'I hope you aren't making a gay stereotype, Gin.' Neville said sternly. He wasn't really angry. He couldn't get angry, otherwise he'd ruin my entire image of him as the cute teddy bear.

'Of course not! I'm just stating the obvious. Even when we were going out you knew more about napkins and cutlery than I did.'

He sighed and put his cup of tea down. 'Well, if you were in charge the wedding guests would be asked to come in fancy dress - or in the buff - and they'd have to do the Chicken Dance and sing karaoke.'

'Hey! Why didn't I think of that? Planning this wedding could be kinda fun.'

'No!' He said sharply, and I knew I had him. What was with me today? I was manipulating this way and that. I think I need to get out more. 'No,' he repeated in a nicer tone. 'I'll help. But, you will have to give me most of the creative control, right?'

'Sure. I hand the reigns over to you.'

He had a distant look to his eyes now, and I had seen that look many times before. Only this time it was on the face of a former boyfriend and not in the semi-crazed face of a mother. 'I can see it now. No pink?'

'You got it.' I took a sip of tea. 'So, what do you guys do for fun around here?'


***


Author's Note: Whoo. Hi everyone :D. I'm back with an actual chapter. Isn't it marvellous. I got a slap on the wrist for being naughty and having a chapter with no real content in it, but hopefully I've learnt my lesson. I actually have an idea as to what I'm doing, so hooray! I also had a birthday! I've been into fanfiction for more than a year! Woah! Anyway, to the reviews!

LTDan: Oh come on! The more RL/GW, the better! Sorry I took so long. Dude, I say that every darn time! This time I really am :D

Xela: I am evil. This was not soon. This was the opposite of soon. I'm lazy and couldn't be bothered doing html. I couldn't be bothered posting. Then I got a ban from uploading because of my excuse. Damn that excuse, damn!

Anoni-Mouse: Again, if you're alive, here it is. Sorry :(

Evergreen Makahiya: Jeeze I hope I spelt your name right. Anyway, sorry for the working up etc. I updated. Here you are. I do hope it is ok.

Iselin: You can't wait for my next chapter? You didn't have to wait! You only have to wait until I bother to upload ;) I changed the pumpkin juice bit because he sounded like a prat. And thanks :)

Aikakone: Why thank you. And shameless plugs are all the rage, dontcha know! I plug shamelessly constantly, which is a rather odd saying since talking about stories usually leaks out of me. Where is the plug in that? I hope your story isn't dark enough to warrant a high rating (although I wouldn't really mind). I'm 15 with a conscious, darn it :(

ShibbySpunkyChick: Thanks. There are gonna be plenty o' Ginny/Remus moments in the prequel. You know, since I constantly have to go overboard with my stories. But people bug me about how they got together. There were bubbles I tells ya! Bubbles! Oh dear, I've gone insane and am making rather obscure remarks about a fic I haven't shown to the public yet. Eeep.

Becki: Thanks. It's worse now I'm in year 10 beause the teachers yell at me and tell me how much work I have to do and they never give me work! Egads! Anyway, I'm sorry I took my sweet time getting it up here. I think only two people in the whole entire world know where I'm headed. Oh, my mother knows too but she never listens to me when I ramble about the B Word. I think she thinks it is some sort of computer game.

SnogginGodess: I thawed the B Word. Summer hols are over and I did absolutely nothing. I got freaked out by a "vampire" and stayed up half the night scared out of wits with Astrid-the-oh-so-mighty, but apart from that I did nothing. Thanks for understanding :)

ShibbySpunkyChick: I defrosted it. It's a bit melty, but still good. Huzzah! I didn't get to finish my other projects. I decided that writing raunchy fics with OOC Ginny and Remus (he was in leather...:D) means I get a whole lot of sex starved friends begging me to continue. Ick!

Rurouni Tsuki: Hi. I live in Australia (soon to become an Australian Citizen so I can get a tax no. easily. They tricked me into it, damn them). Oh, I know reviews aren't everything. I was only making fun. I don't write to get reviews. I write because if I don't I get seven lashings with the whip. Thanks for your words of wisdom, though :D

Xela: Yes, there are many things about Faye that are going to come out. I bet she was an annoying survey person at the mall that wouldn't let you go and so that snot from your English class bought the last pair of funky boots *takes a few deep breathes* sorry about that, I'm a bit bitter. There is still much to happen and I have to write how they got together yet. It has a definite Lestat flair to it at the moment...

Spinx Class of 2008: Thanks! I like the pairings too. Well, Remus/Ginny rocks my socks, so yeah. I hope you continue reading it :D

And this goes out to all those who read and don't review... I don't know, I just wanted to say that. Man, I'm tired after writing all those replies. Coming Soon... the next chapter of The B Word. Will Ginny get the Chicken Dance at her wedding? Will we see Hermione in a French Maid outfit again, or Remus in leather? Will Faye turn out to be the missing member of Hanson? Find out in the next installment of The B Word! (And your local newsagent. $4.95 GST included.)


Am I sad or what?