Chapter 13
XXXXXXX
Jack sat at his desk reviewing the file on Marcello Silva. Marcello had been arrested several times for drug possession and intent to distribute. He had two strikes against him and with the three strikes law all he needed was one more arrest to serve a life sentence.
He glanced at the picture of Kiki Melendez and saw a vivacious young woman full of promise who fell into a trap with the wrong man. He wondered what was going in her life that she would get involved with someone like Marcello. What went wrong? It was cases like these that always got to him because they reminded him of his own daughters. Would he be the thing that went wrong in their life?
He sighed and wondered if he could ever get back on track with Hanna.
XXX
After Thanksgiving dinner at Vivian's, as soon as they got in the car Kate fell asleep in the backseat while Hanna sat on the passenger side. She clicked the radio to a top 40 station and turned the volume up high. She stared out the window and swung her leg back and forth so it hit the underside of the dashboard.
Jack reached over and lowered the volume and asked, "Can you please stop that?"
Hanna turned and glared at him but she did stop. And then she proceeded to drum her fingers on the door's arm rest.
He swallowed and stole a glance at his oldest daughter. "Hanna, I know you are angry at me but I am still your father and we have to find a way to make peace." She continued to stare out at the city still not speaking. "I want you to understand what happened between me and your mom had nothing to do with you or Kate. We both love you."
Hanna remained silent but Jack knew she was listening because her fingers had stopped strumming and her body stiffened.
"I am sorry that I am not a perfect father; far from it. But I am trying." Hanna nodded slightly, her head barely moving as she continued to stare out at the buildings passing by. Jack could see her biting her bottom lip. He knew she wanted to ask a question but was afraid so he gently urged her, "If you have a question you can ask."
He looked over and saw Hanna fidget in her seat before softly asking, "Did you love her?"
While Jack was tempted to pretend he misunderstood the question; that she was asking about Maria he knew exactly about whom Hanna was asking. "I cared about her a lot."
She ran her fingers along the rim where the window met the door frame and asked, "Why aren't you still with her?"
Jack cleared his throat and adjusted his hands on the steering wheel. He paused for a moment considering how to answer question that was complicated for an adult much less for his pre-teen daughter. "I loved your mother and I realized that I needed to try and make it work for yours and Kate's sake. So I ended it."
Hanna turned to look at Jack, studying him carefully. "But it didn't work."
"No, no it didn't."
"Are you going to get back with her?"
He blew out a breath and replied, "No, it's in the past. We've both moved on."
"But you work with her."
Jack realized that Hanna continually referred to Sam as 'her' rather than by her name. He understood it made it easier for his daughter to talk about. She knew Sam, met her on several occasions and had liked her a lot. She probably felt betrayed by the both of them.
"I do work with her but that's it. We're colleagues." He hoped he sounded convincing because he knew that it wasn't as simple as that.
Hanna looked at him like she didn't believe his answer but she still nodded her head before reaching over and turning the volume on the radio back up signaling the end of the conversation. While Jack knew the topic was far from over he was pleased that at least they had started talking.
XXX
He started to wonder what the Christmas break was going to be like. The girls were going to come see him a few days after the holiday and while he had talked to them on the phone he knew that long-distance offered a safe buffer zone.
There was a knock on his door and he saw Vivian hovering in his doorway. He waved her inside. "Hi. What's up?"
Viv walked slowly to his desk and sat down. She took a deep breath and spoke softly, "I saw Dr. Marsh this morning. He said the Myectomy didn't work. He thinks it's time to consider a heart transplant."
Jack felt his hands go numb and his breath catch. "Um, I don't know what to say."
Viv just continued on, "Dr. Marsh said I can't do field work anymore so that means only desk duty. I know you need agents who can…"
Jack waved his hand for her to stop. "No, that desk is yours. We'll figure something out." He paused and asked, "Are there any other options?"
"No," Viv replied solemnly.
"Is there anything I can do for you?"
"No, but I appreciate the offer." She gave Jack a sad smile.
"Do you want me to tell the rest of the team?"
Viv thought for a moment before responding, "No. I should tell them. If it's okay with you, I'll take the rest of the day off and I'll tell them in the morning."
"Okay." Jack looked over Viv carefully and for the first time saw her as being fragile. "If you need anything, you let me know okay?"
"Thanks Jack. I'll let you get back to work. I promised Reggie I'd pick him up from school today." Viv stood up and walked out the door with Jack's eyes following her.
After she left he leaned back in his chair and rubbed his hands over his face never feeling more helpless in his life.
