So this is what happens when things get out of control in "canon" SW universe. (I'm still in denial after half of it.)
Please be aware this has strong language in it. There are also Betrayal spoilers in this.
And yes I know Mace would never act like this. But it's so much more fun this way.
And thanks to my friend Drew for inspiring this. I heart crazy Canadians.
Now on with the show….
"Damn I look good." Mace Windu pleasingly looked at his reflection in the mirror. Tan Jedi robes in perfect condition, contouring his rough muscular hard trained body.
Someone interrupted his self admiration with a clear cut shout directed at him, "On air in 1 minute."
A grin appeared as he began to make his way towards the stage as a rumble of claps filled the large studio. This could really so some harm on his ego. He flashed them all a smile, and looked at himself in the mirror a studio assistant was holding up for him. One thing was missing. He snapped his fingers and a another timid assistant, a stupid protocol droid rambling to him about something, approached him holding a pair of sunglasses. Mace levitated the eye wear to his hands smoothly and with the same flick of his wrist sent the droid flying across the studio. The metal did make a satifying bang and the countdown finished as the ON light flashed red.
The studio grew even louder as the "Shaft" music filled the studio sound system. Mace stood there basking in the moment. First on air show, oh how mother fucking good this was going to be.
"Awwww yeah mother fuckers. Welcome to…Laying the Smackdown, with me, the greatest mother fucking Jedi Master over 3 foot tall, Mace Mother Fucking Mace Windu."
More cheers.
"I'm the only jed Master grand enough, and REAL enough to tell the truth. Do you think that throwing my mother fucking awesome Jedi ass off the fucking highest building on Coruscant, being shocked by 200,000 bolts of mother fucking electricity, and some whiny bitching pretty boy Jedi Knight was going to keep me from hosting my own show and shoving my purple lightsaber up the galaxy's most adored citizens asses? FUCK NOOOOOOOOO! You can't stop my bad ass self."
He literally thought the studio was going to collapse from their cheers. They loved him, they really loved him.
"So today, our guest is, Jedi Master," Mace lifted his eyebrow for a second, "more like Jedi dumbass if you ask me, Luke Skywalker, the hero of the Rebellion, blah blah blah. Listen no can compare to my bad ass self. You woop a Sith Lord of the Republic and thousands of droids and then maybe you can leave up to my fine standards. Anyways, Luke Skywalker all you mother fuckers out there."
Luke Skywalker enters, the audience applauding him, and a very angry dark skinned Jedi with sunglasses, glaring at him. Wait, how can you glare with sunglasses?
When he saw the set only had one chair and Mace was motioning for him to sit down, Luke did so and the studio went dark with only a spotlight glaring at him, and another one on Mace. Could the man be any more bad ass? Wait a minute….
"This is ridiculous, I am the grandmaster…."
He was slapped. HARD.
"Grandmaster my ass Luke. This is my show, whatever I say goes."
Working his jaw around he nodded, "Sure. This can't be so bad….."
