Standard disclaimers applied. See Prologue for further details.
Author's Note: Sorry it took so long for me to get this next chapter. It has been sitting idle on my hard drive but I just haven't been able to get online and posting it. I hope this was worth the wait!
The lyrics used in this chapter, is from the song Yesterday Once More, sang by Karen Carpenter. It doesn't belong to me.
Chapter 6: Reliving Yesterday
All
my best memories
Come
back clearly to me
Some
can even make me cry
Just
like before
It's
yesterday once more
- Karen Carpenter, Yesterday Once More
Each time, Landon returned to Beaufort, he was often hit with bittersweet memories of his days growing up. The leaves turned from crimson fall to golden yellow and the waters glistened different shades of blue. The younger generation come and go but the locals remained. The sign that read 'Welcome to Beaufort' were updated throughout the years, but the essence of this port town remained.
Dean came to pick him from the airport. For the most part, the ride was silent, though there were some attempts at conversation. Landon was drained and Dean didn't press. Instead, they let the music from the car radio filled in the silence. Landon was initially surprised at the amount of compassion that Dean showed. Knowing the reputation that they both held in high school, it was hard to imagine that they were in fact the same people.
People changed and adapted with time, but Landon did get a kick out of the fact that Dean married Belinda about three years ago in Las Vegas. "You had a party without me, Dean? How cruel..."
"Stuff happens, man. We eloped and you lucked out. Don't worry, we'll get together and have a party just for you."
Their conversation was superficial because they both knew the real reason why Landon wasn't in town. What with changing his name and going ff to college and then medical school ... stuff indeed happen.
At Landon's insistence, Dean dropped him off at the Reverend's house. For a moment, Landon almost thought about turning back, as he was assaulted by a flood of memories with Jamie. They had their first kiss just outside those very doors, the same ones which she slammed in his face when he acted like a jerk to her. There was the porch bench where she sat when he came to apologize with a sweater as a peace offering. He could almost hear the sounds from her piano and her hypnotizing voice in accompaniment.
He was interrupted by the force of his mother's arms around him. Cynthia Carter had almost taken residences at the Reverend's home. She came daily, often several times throughout the day. When she saw Dean's car and she knew that her son also needed a comfort that a mother could partially offer with her embrace. "Landon honey, it's so good to see you."
She nodded thankfully to Dean who helped to unload Landon's stuff from his trunk. It took a moment for Landon to come to and realize that Dean had driven off. "How is he, Ma?" indicating the Reverend.
"He has his good days and bad ones. I think it's one of his good ones today. The pain killers help some but he has been asking for you."
Landon nodded and schooled himself in preparation. The first thing that he noticed was the pallor of the Reverend's skin. He was breathing restlessly. His eyes were closed with one hand on the Bible that was draped upside down across his chest. He was not in deep sleep though, as he aroused himself at Landon's approach.
"Mr. Carter..." he whispered wistfully. There was a ghost of a smile before he amended, "Rather, it's Dr. Barnett now."
"Hey Rev."
"How are you, Landon?"
"I think that should be my line. How are you feeling, Reverend?"
"I am doing well, Landon. Thank you for coming."
"You know I would never turn you down."
"No, you wouldn't. I had to see you before ..."
"Don't say that. You're still here and that's all matters."
The Reverend sighed for he knew that the conversation would turn out this way before it even began. Then he said, "I'm content with my life, Landon. I have always rely on faith to help me through and I have been blessed many times over."
"Have you?"
The Reverend fingered the bible in his hand. "I chose life, Landon. This is the life that He gives me. The Bible said, 'Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid (John 14:27)'. With life, there will be death, such is the balance of this world."
"I see that every time I step foot into the ER, but it doesn't mean it gets easier."
"No, you treasure each life and each moment and honour them as they were."
They contemplated in silence. There needed to be no words for they shared a bond that few were privileged to have. "I think I'm ready to see my wife and daughter again," the Reverend confessed.
Landon got up abruptly to stalk over to the window. He refused to meet the gaze of the man lying on the bed. "Not yet though, Mr. Carter ..."
"When?"
"Soon, but not yet..."
Ray came downstairs and talked with his mother for a few moments. She convinced him to go back to his childhood home to change, shower and eat. He also took the time to call back to Chicago. He met up with his father who had came down but Daniel "Dan" Carter could do little to help the Reverend whose cancer was spreading from his colon to the rest of his body.
Later on, Landon returned to the Reverend's home and sat in the bedroom. He spoke in hush tones on his cell phone to Abby before hanging up to watch the sunset.
Lookin'
back on how it was
In
years gone by
And
the good times that I had
Makes
today seem rather sad
So
much has changed
"Have you found someone?"
Ray jumped at the sound of the Reverend's voice whom he had thought was sleeping. "Sh-," before he stopped himself. The Reverend had small chuckle at his expense. "Sorry."
"Have you found someone?" he asked again when Ray didn't answer him.
"No, not after Jamie. I tried dating some when I was in med school, but nothing serious ever came of it." At the same time, he indicated his cell phone, "I'm ... I was calling about my roommate. She was in surgery when I left but she's in a coma right now."
"What happen?"
He hesitated briefly before he confessed that they got into an argument and then she got into an accident afterwards. "I didn't have a chance to apologize before I left."
The Reverend was thoughtful before he asked, "What is her name?"
"Neela. Dr. Neela Ragostra."
"Neela," the Reverend repeated as he considered the roll of her name on his tongue. "Quite an unusual name. What was your argument about?"
"Her name means 'blue' in Punjab," he explained while he ignored the second part of the question. This did not go unnoticed by Reverend Sullivan.
"Sometimes we can't help our words in a moment of anger. There is the guilt that remains afterwards when we think about all the what ifs and maybes. You must learn to forgive yourself before you are ready to accept the forgiveness from others."
He nodded in a noncommittal manner. The Reverend contemplated his next words.
"She would have wanted you to be happy."
"Who Neela?"
"Yes, I would imagine she would, but that's not who I meant. I was talking about Jamie."
"I was happy with her."
"But she would have wanted you to be happy with living a life without her."
"I am happy. I love being a doctor and I love being in a band."
"Yes, the question is whether you are truly happy."
"Who knows what true happiness is supposed to feel like?"
"True happiness is a relative term because only you can make the most out of life. The Lord gives us His guidance and His light, but it is you who has to believe."
-o-o-
Throughout the next couple of days, parishioners came to and from the Reverend's house. Landon stood on the sidelines as a silent support for his father-in-law. As well, the Carters spent some time together. Cynthia was happy to have her son home with her as she complained that she didn't get to see him now that he was in Chicago.
Also, Eric came down and the two friends caught up on superficial events as they were lounging on the back porch of the Carter's home. "Hey man, did you end up finding a roommate for that swanky place of yours?"
Landon laughed at Eric's choice of words. "Swanky? Please, I would hardly call it that, but anyways, yeah, I did. In fact, she works at the same hospital with me."
"She? Hey good for you, man. She's not cramming your style?"
"It's not what you think."
"And, what would I be thinking?"
"C'mon, head out of the gutter, we aren't doing anything together. She's a coworker and a friend, that's all."
"Just a friend?"
"You know I would never betray Jamie like that."
At this, Eric stopped his teasing. He took a deep breath before he continued, "I don't think you would be betraying Jamie if you decide to have a relationship."
"It's not a relationship."
"No, but you have to at least give yourself a chance."
"What Jamie and I had together was something special," Landon argued defensively.
"Hey, I don't doubt that. I didn't understand at first and on some level, I probably still don't. But, I think Jamie had too much faith and loved you too much for you to miss out on life. We don't get very many second chances. You have to take a risk sometime. It was a risk that brought you closer to Jamie."
Landon stared hard at his friend. What he said was very similar to what the Reverend had told him earlier. Catching Eric's anxious glance, Landon amended and offered his hand. "Hey it's cool, man."
Recognizing the beginnings for their secret handshake, Eric grinned broadly and completed the routine, "Dude, it's been too long!"
Landon had to smile at that. Though as much as he hate to face it, he had to question himself, 'What was he waiting for? A sign, perhaps?'
At the thought, Landon felt a sudden chill. Both he and Eric shivered slightly as the breeze blew across the waters. He was struck by a sudden memory of Jamie saying, "I think that this is the way God planned it so there must be a reason for it...It's like the wind, I can't see it… but I feel it."
"What do you feel?" he asked.
"I feel wonder and beauty. Joy. Love. I mean…it's the center of everything."
He had kissed her then with the wind caressing their cheeks. It was as though they were at the center of everything. 'Was this his sign that she was giving her permission, that she would always be a part of him?'
Then his train of thought was interrupted by the sound of his cell phone. It took him a full minute to recognize the caller and he swallowed hard.
End of Chapter 6
AN: My, my ... is this a cliffhanger? Yes it is ... please review if you want to see what happens next.
As I mentioned in the previous chapter. I add a little bit about the religion in keeping with the theme from A Walk to Remember. It is not my intention to disregard any religion. However, I do apologize if anybody is offended. As well, a brief reminder that the stuff in italics are quotes from the movie.
Also, I couldn't find the name for Landon's father, so I must made it up and called him 'Daniel.'
