After a few months of dealing with bullshit after bullshit after bullshit, Bakugou has gotten the peace and quiet he was looking for. No training, no villains to fight. Just him, a boat, and his dad's fishing rod out on a lake. Nothing could possibly ruin this now.

"Honk."

"Huh?" Bakugou turned around to see a goose staring at him. He wasn't sure why, but he doesn't like the way it looks at him. He glared back at it in defiance. It was the longest possible staring contest. To his anger, he blinked first. Then again, he wasn't sure whether or not geese can blink, but that's beside the point. It still pissed him off. "What the fuck do you want, you stu-"

"HONK!"

It jumped on his face without warning while flapping its wings, taking him completely by surprise. "WHAT THE FUCK?!" It did not relent as he struggled to stop it from biting his hair. His day has been completely ruined by a fucking goose. "GET OFF ME YOU-"

The boat capsized, sending him into the water. The swim back was not pleasant. The goose did not stop chasing him, which has annoyed him to no end. "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU STUPID LITTLE SHIT!"

He was drying himself at a metal post when the goose still ran up to him while honking bloody murder. Finally reaching his breaking point, he tried to punch it. "DIE!" It flew out of his way, causing him to punch the metal pole. "FUCK!"

"SHIT!" He held his right hand, which is now in pain from punching a metal fucking pole. "YOU PIECE OF SHIT! COME HERE!"

He chased the goose down, which is, against all odds, running faster than him. "What the hell is up with this goose?" He wasn't paying attention and slipped on a banana peel on the park, losing sight of it. Bakugou decided he just wants to lay down for a while. Up until he heard a familiar voice.

"Oi! That's my wallet, you wanker! Get it back here!" It was Trish, who for some reason was alone. It didn't matter to him why she was in the park. Only that she was suffering from the goose as well.


Brief Reminder: This fic is a minor semi-canon spin off to "Okay so the thing is..." fic, which is why some of you may recognise Trish, while some won't.


She heard his laugh and he heard her stomping over to him. "DID YA TRAIN THAT DEMON BIRD, YA GIT?!"

"No. Fuck off. It just capsized my boat." He should not have said that. Now Trish was laughing at him. That was somehow worse than Deku laughing at him. "Shut the fuck up, that thing took your wallet." That earned him a nice slap to the face. He started feeling heavier after that. He figured that was her quirk. Bakugou never really asked her what it is. "The fuck even is your quirk, you bitch?"

"Angrier you are, heavier you'll get, wanker."

"Fuck." Bakugou groaned, not liking the description already. He took a deep breath, remembering Hound Dog's lessons. With a simple exhale, Bakugou was able to calm his mind, letting him stand up. "We need to find that goose."

They didn't need to find that goose. A hot dog stand just exploded and it involved the goose. The two heroes-in-training quickly rushed over to the scene of the crime with the owner having minor injuries and small bite marks on her legs. "Ah fuck. Are you okay, miss? Do you need immediate medical attention?"

"Medical attention? Boy, I will be find. What I need is that stupid ass goose dead." The lady answered him while pointing at the goose, which no longer had Trish's wallet, but definitely still has her money.

"THAT'S MY ALLOWANCE!" Trish lost all reason as she began chasing the goose. Bakugou sighed and used his jacket to help the lady put out the fire from her hot dog stand.

"Here I thought making some American thing in Japan would make good business, but nope. The goose had to ruin it." The lady sighed while checking it. Luckily, the fire barely did any damage to anything important, letting the hot dog stand still be functional.

"I'll have a hotdog sandwich."

"That will be a hundred yen." The lady said while making it and handing it to him. He gave her a thousand yen. "Whoa, kid, isn't that a little too much?"

"That's to compensate for what the demon piece of shit bird did. Keep the change." He ate the snack quickly before following Trish. As he ran, he noticed the trail of destruction that has happened across the park. Poles bent sideways, people lying on the ground and groaning. There are even trees that got uprooted and planted upside down for some reason. Bakugou was pretty sure the trees weren't that way when he first came here. He finally spotted Trish hanging on a metal pole, unconscious. It didn't take him long to get her down.

"What the fuck is that goose even?" He asked her while waking her up.

"Physics. It's a quirked animal. It fucks... it fucks over physics." Trish explained while groaning from the bruises all over her body. Apparently that thing just made a bike fly into her, a baseball bat to fly into her, a fucking boxing glove come out of nowhere and hit her square in the face, and then coincidentally, a springboard created by art students, who were also on the ground after the goose encounter, sent her up the pole.

"What the actual fuck is that goose even-" An explosion was heard and a golf club hit Bakugou directly in the face. He was on the ground, no longer amused by the bird's bullshit. He phoned in his teacher Eraserhead. It did not take long for the hero to reach the park, with Bakugou and Trish still laying on the ground. While waiting, some koi suddenly gained the ability to fly thanks to the goose and hit them both in the face. As if that wasn't enough, it attracted a cat's attention, causing it to bite him. The goose itself reappeared just to take his shoe off. His goddamn shoe.

"So you're telling me all of this happened because of that bird over there?" Eraserhead was looking at the goose while talking to Bakugou. He assumed his student's groan means yes. The goose came running at Eraserhead, expecting to harm the hero. The hero simply picked up the goose and knocked it out with a chop to the head. "Well, now that's settled, you call the every emergency service you can call and I'll call in the shelter designed for animals with quirks."

"Yes... sir."

"Also, you're dismissed from classes tomorrow. You need a break, kid. Tell that redhead brat the same."

"Don't... fucking call me... a brat, cunt."


No new members added

Today's Result: Goose Wins

Damage Bills: An entire park's worth.

Crimes Committed: Arson, Theft, Robbery, Mugging, Attempted Murder, Public Indecency, Harm to a minor, Disorder, Destruction of Public Property, Assault and Battery, Sexual Assault, and etc. done by a goose

Attempted animal cruelty done by Katsuki Bakugou and Trish Ikari


Next Incident: Totally Not A Date