Chapter 26

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Martin rolled over in bed and rubbed his eyes as he reached for his ringing cell phone. He finally made contact with the device and without looking at the caller-ID he flipped it open and answered, "Fitzgerald."

"Hi, Martin, it's Sam." The second he heard her voice he was wide awake. "Merry Christmas"

"Merry Christmas, Sam." He glanced at the clock on the nightstand, its bright red digits reading 6:48 AM. "Is everything alright?"

"Sorry, to call you so early but I got your gift and I wanted to say thank you." Sam's voice was soft and Martin sighed back onto his pillow. "I'm completely blown away, it's wonderful."

"I'm glad you like it," he replied. He had planned on getting her the bracelet shortly after she had told him the story about the treasured gift from her grandmother. He didn't realize how hard it would be to find all the charms Sam had told him about when he finally found a jeweler in Vermont who not only specialized in making charm bracelets but could custom make some of the charms like the firefly and the NYC taxi cab. He had placed the order right before he had ended things with her again and had forgotten about it until the jeweler called him and confirmed that it would be ready by Christmas.

"I can't believe you actually remembered each of the charms."

"Benefit of being a special agent: attention to details." Martin smiled against the receiver.

Sam was silent on the other end of the line for a few beats and as Martin was about to break the silence, she finally spoke, "I just can't help but wonder this gift is supposed to mean."

He paused and considered how to reply. He was the one who broke it off and while he wasn't sure if it would be right to give her the bracelet he knew he still wanted her to have it no matter what. But he also knew it wasn't fair to mislead her, for both their sakes; so he swallowed his feelings and said, "It means that I'm glad we can still be friends in spite of it all."

"Friends, right. I guess that's better than co-worker." Sam's voice was tinged with hurt and it made Martin's heart ache for her. Then she asked in a cool tone, "What if I want more than friendship?"

He closed his eyes and replied, "It wouldn't last. We want different things. Or have you changed your mind?"

"Have you?" Her voice became low and threatening. "What if I don't think it's fair that you broke up with me twice for your own arbitrary reasons and left me to pick up the pieces? You led me on by getting back together with me again."

"Sam, I'll take anything you throw at me about my breaking up with you the second time. I know that's on me. But don't you dare tell me you didn't have everything to do with how we ended the first time." He was still hurt and angry. "You were the one who didn't want to fight harder remember."

"I remember. I also remember asking you for a second chance and doing everything I could to try and make you happy. Or was it just a game to you? Make me sorry that I didn't fight for you the first time so you get me to fall for you again, sleep with me and then dump me again."

"If you even think that I would do that than it is obvious you don't know me at all," he rumbled.

"Maybe I don't. Because I don't know how you could be so selfish as to only think of what you would have to give up by being with me, not about what I had to give up."

"And what exactly did you have to give up, Sam?" Martin asked as he sat up and scooted back against the headboard.

"You want to know what I gave up? I gave up a second chance with Jack," she retorted, almost shouting. He felt like he had just been stabbed in the heart but before he could say anything she quickly apologized. "I'm sorry, Martin. I didn't mean that, I don't even know why I said it."

"You said it, Sam. There must be some truth it," Martin replied crisply.

"No, in fact he asked me yesterday and I said…."

"Yesterday?" Martin repeated. He could feel the little green eyed monster named "jealousy" rising up in him. "Jack asked you back yesterday?"

"It's not like how it sounds. It was Christmas Eve and I was at his apartment…."

"Save it, Sam. It's none of my business and it's your life." Martin knew he was being unreasonable and out of line but for some reason she always managed to bring out those qualities in him.

"Martin…." Sam began.

"Merry Christmas, see you next year." He hung up before she even had a chance to reply. He turned off his cell phone and lay back in bed fuming. He didn't know why he was so hurt. He broke it off with her and if he were Jack he would take advantage of the opportunity, too.

But there was the rub: he was the one who let Sam go and he had no one to blame but himself.