Standard disclaimers applied. See Prologue for further details.
Author's Note: Thank you everyone for their continual support for this fic. There were some comments as to whether or not chapter 20 was the end. It's safe to say that there is more to this story. Everyone who reviewed said that they were still interested, so here is another one.
Chapter 21: Leaving My Former Self
Show
me what it's like
To
be the last one standing
And
teach me wrong from right
And
I'll show you what I can be
And
say it for me
Say
it to me
And
I'll leave this life behind me
Say
it if it's worth savin me
Hurry
I'm falling
-Nickelback, Saving Me
He felt that he was walking on cloud nine and he couldn't help the goofy grin that was a permanent fixture on his face. He had told Neela that he was going to wait and so, when he was rejected the first time he proposed, he had slipped the engagement ring on his chain. It shall remained close to his heart because there was no other woman that he would offer it to. Yet, when she came to him willingly, Ray Barnett could not stop smiling. His present disposition was not lost to those in the ER. Pratt was the first to comment.
"Somebody had a good night, last night, right Barnett?"
"Couldn't be better, Pratt," the younger resident answered as his grin grew bigger. Pratt rolled his eyes and muttered something about 'sleeping with your roommates.'
Ray didn't even mind when Morris asked him for a consult for the fifth time in the span of ten minutes. However, Kerry was slightly peeved at him, when she snapped at him, "Barnett, I need for you to focus and not drawing up plans for your wedding nuptials!"
It stunned him that Weaver had the immense ability to render somebody completely speechless. He caught the knowing gleam of Carter who had his share of experiences at being on the receiving end of Weaver's talkdown. Not only that, he was probably one of the few people who to sympathesize with being engaged to a fellow co-worker.
For the first time since being engaged, Ray truly thought about marriage with Neela. He, of course had the traditional bride-in-the-white-dress and church-type of wedding. The union with Jamie had simply been perfect, with his late father-in-law performing the ceremony. Now, he wondered if Neela had ideas for her ideal wedding. His thoughts were echoed by his mother, Cynthia Carter who had been thrilled to hear of the engagement. However, her initial fears about Neela's ethnicity surfaced at their most recent phone conversation.
"Hey, ma."
"Landon, what a surprise! How's everything?"
"Ma, I have really good news. Neela and I are engaged.!"
A momentary silence ensued, as Cythnia Carter found herself caught up in tears. She had never thought that to see her only son married again after so many years of pining over the loss of Jamie Sullivan. Yet, after meeting Neela Ragostra, she knew that the Indian doctor was what her son needed to heal.
"I'm very proud of you, Landon. I know that I have said it so many times before but I am very proud to be your mother. Neela will be good for you."
"I know, ma. Meeting her has been one of the best things that has happened to me."
"Landon, how does Neela feel about all of this?"
"What do you mean?"
"Landon. How does she feel about getting married?"
With that, she began to list out all the things that usually comprised of a normal wedding: the dress, the reception, the guest, the decor, right down to the flowers. Ray found his head swimming in confusion but he realized that his mother was trying to make a point. "Then again, you should find out what she wants. This is her day too and perhaps, she has other traditions that she wants to follow," his mother had wisely concluded.
After the conversation with his mom, had brought his confidence down a notch. He had been so caught up in his own felicity that he had not stopped to think about Neela's feelings. The fact that she had accepted him gave him a hopeful sign, but upon further observation, he realized that she had been pensive as well. Unsure as to how to approach the topic himself, he decided that the best course of action was an indirect one. Schooling his courage, he approached his future sister-in-law.
Parama herself, had been half expecting Ray's meeting, after witnessing Neela's trepidations. Her older sister had went through a myriad of insecurities before accepting Ray's proposal. Now Parama had Ray before her and Parama took pity on her soon to be brother-in-law. "Ray, I know this is a new experience for you."
"Well..."
"I am assuming that this is the first time that you are marrying an Indian roommate," she teased.
Her tone eased his discomfort as they fell into conversation. Parama who previously had a traditional Indian wedding, told Ray some of essentials and elaborately spoke of what was required for the bride and groom. Ray was grateful for this but he was reassured that Parama was going to stand by her sister no matter what they decide to do for their wedding.
After meeting with Parama, Ray decided to approach Neela. It hadn't been easy for either of them to speak of their own fears about the marriage. Ray was quick to say that his side of the feeling had nothing but love for her. They would be with any arrangement for their wedding. Neela herself, deeply wanted her parents' approvals of their match. Their resignation had hurt her deeply because she truly respected and loved her parents. The only consolation was the joy expressed for hers and Ray's mutual friends, as well as Parama's relentless support.
Ultimately, they decided on a traditional Indian style wedding, while the reception was more laid back surrounded by their mutual friends and families. Neela had chosen the attire that was befitting of an Indian bride. The weddings took several months in planning but the outcome was what one imagined it to be.
Ray Landon Barnett, without reservations pledged himself to be loving and faithful husband to Neela Ragostra. Those who knew the former Landon Rollins Carter had seen the completion of a transformation. Landon would always be faithful to the memory of Jamie Elizabeth Carter nee Sullivan. She had been his first love, the one saw the potential of the man that Landon was to become. She had unwavering faith in the world around her and Landon learned to see life through her eyes. Her death brought an impenetrable shadow upon his life.
Yet, Neela had somehow seem to break a series of walls that Ray had carefully erected around himself. The eyes of the bride herself, was full of tears but they were not a sign of regret, but that of utter happiness. She had faced guilt and sadness, while surrounding herself with work. Ray had unknowingly showed her that it was to let go and not be so serious all the time. She, in turn had shown in that there was still goodness to be had and shared.
Staring up in his youthful brown eyes, she saw him not as the doctor / jock persona that he was famous for around the County. Instead, she saw her husband - a man with whom she was going to spend the rest of her life with. An inescapable sigh left her lips which was soon sealed with Ray's.
Their kiss was witnessed and congratulated by those closest to them. What made their wedding even more memorable was the arrival of the Ragostras. Both Neela and Ray was surprised and grateful for their presence at what was one of the most important days of their lives. They didn't know that Parama played a major hand in this arrangement, but the sisters did share a look. No words were needed and it was something that would always remained left unsaid.
However, nobody could ever doubt the love between Ray and Neela that day, as husband and wife shared another kiss with the promise of many more to come.
End of Chapter 21
AN: The lyrics used in the beginning of the chapter, don't belong to me.
sigh I know some of you readers may feel deprived of a proper wedding scene. I don't want to insult a culture that I am not familiar about. That's why I took a different tack and resolved the chapter by exploring some of the feelings of the characters involved. I feel that a wedding is the joining of two people and I hope to depict that in this chapter.
In case, you are wondering if this is truly the end. Again, I leave that to you, the readers. Have I finally saturated you guys with this Reela which means I will end with some sort of an epilogue OR you guys want to me to continue about some of Ray and Neela's post-marital days? This is where your reviews are most welcome. I look forward to them.
