A/N: I had to chose some path for this story to follow...Anyways, review and let me know what you think. And yes, the sadness continues.

"I made an appointment with an apartment locator for Saturday. I thought that if you were available, you might come and look with us." He looked up from the newspaper across to the table to Olivia, his eyes locking with hers. Even though his face was calm, he was a rolling sea of emotions on the inside. His heart was slamming in his chest. His blood pressure had risen with those words. A part of him had hoped she'd forget about it. The other part of him knew she wouldn't.

"What time," he asked, folding the newspaper and setting it aside.

"Nine," she said. "I'm meetingher on West 90th and Broadway."

"We can leave from here together," he said. It still tore at him that she wanted out. Out of his apartment. Out of a part of his life.

"Thank you," she said softly. He nodded and set the paper aside.

"Have you thought about seeing Huang," he asked. She hadn't seen the psychiatrist since her return; hadn't spoken to anyone about what had happened.

"No," she said. She knew he would bring it up. Knew he wanted her to talk, but she couldn't. She didn't know where to begin.

"Liv, you've got to talk to someone. Whatever it is that happened is eating you up inside," he said softly. "I'll understand if you want to talk to someone else. Casey. Cragen. Huang. It doesn't matter. I just want to you help you get back to yourself."

"We do talk," she said, trying to shrug him off.

"Yes, but you have yet to say anything," he said. "Liv, since you've been back, it's like I've been living with a ghost of you. You're hear, but you're not. I miss you. I miss your sarcasm and your humor. I miss the way we would talk when we'd gone to bed, how I'd help you or you'd help me after a nightmare. I miss what made us….us." She nodded, looking down at her hands. The truth was that she missed the too and she wasn't sure why she wasn't able to talk to him. She heard him take a deep breath and looked up, her eyes locking with his.

"Did someone hurt you? Did they…" He couldn't find the words to say and he prayed to God that if she had been raped that night that she would be comfortable enough to tell him. But, he couldn't help but wonder. Couldn't but wonder why she was so quiet and withdrawn. Why she didn't sleep at night. Why they hadn't made love since her return.

"No Elliot. Nothing like that," she said, her voice firm for the first time in awhile."Thank God," he said, letting out a breath of relief.

"Would it have made a difference? If I had been…" She couldn't even bring herself to say the word. It was a word they used everyday. It was common vernacular in their position. But when it came to one of them, it had a whole new meaning.

"No. Never. I thought you knew that." He saw a look pass over her face and frowned inwardly.

"Just…needed to hear it." She reached across the table, her palm face up. He reached over and intertwined their fingers, their palms pressed together.

"You never needed to before."

"That was before things changed."

"What's changed?"

"Everything…nothing." She shrugged and pulled her hand away before getting up to put her dishes in the sink and get a shower.

Frustrated, he ran his hands through his hair. He had cursed everyday of his life that she had been gone. He had promised himself that if he ever saw her again, he would do everything in his power to make things work; to spend the rest of his life trying to make her as happy as she made him.

He walked into the bedroom a few minutes later and saw her brushing her hair out. He put his arms around her waist and kissed her neck, inhaling her clean scent. "I love you," he whispered against her skin.

"I love you too," she said, leaning her head against his. "Thank you for understanding."

"Never thought of having it any other way," he said, pressing a kiss to her temple. He looked at their image in the mirror and watched as she lifted her hand and placed it over his so they intermeshed over the soft skin of her abdomen. He saw her eyes mist over as her face darkened. She knew the moment he knew; realized what he had been missing along.

"I'm sorry," she whispered softly. She closed her eyes as she felt him pull away and fell to her knees as she heard the door shut when he left.