Listen guys, if you see a mistake, any little error or can offer some constructive criticism, please, please tell me. No matter how long the review becomes, I will read it and trust me, it will only make my writing better. I had a reviewer earlier comment on me using he and she so often and it's because of that that in the later chapters of this story, my writing improved and I looked for other ways to say things beside "she did this" and "he did that". In one of my earlier stories a reviewer commented on my chunky paragraphs making things hard to read and because of that I try to separate it more and it looks better. It bugs me when someone says I made mistakes cause then I'm like where? What? I end up wanting to know and I never find out. Therefore I may be repeating the same mistake and not even know it.
Also there was sooo much pressure with the rated M scene OMG it made me so nervous. I really didn't wanna disappoint you guys and mess up the success of this story. Therefore I wrote this chapter just to give you guys a taste and if you like how it's going then I can include an M chapter in the next one. If not, this chap still leaves it so I can just continue with story next chapter. You decide.
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Chapter 10
Emerald eyes looked up into the murky skies, staining the night with gray. A small cold drop of water fell onto his gloved fingers and rolled down his palm. Rain. He closed his fist and closed his eyes, letting the icy breezes sway through the black material that his body was always veiled in. Soon enough he felt and heard the pitter-patter of cold raindrops, rolling down his face and onto the gray slabs beneath him.
He inhaled, taking in the damp air through his nostrils. How long will it be until I cannot feel raindrops anymore? How long will it be until I can no longer look into the skies for its change of colors? How long will it be until I will stop breathing? The rain seemed to douse the pyro into a depressing state, although that was out of the ordinary for a Nobody. He found himself memorizing his surroundings, memorizing every taste, memorizing every smell and touch, carefully and flawlessly. He didn't know if someday it would be a luxury he'd no longer have.
His options weren't many and even his options he could not be sure of. Whether he'd pass onto the next minute he couldn't be too sure of either. Nothing was taken for granted anymore.
He ran his fingers through his wet strands of fiery hair, weighing down to rest on the sides of his face. Slicking them back into messy spikes he looked upon his hands. He took off his leather gloves, letting them fall to the floor as he let his palms feel the rain.
The black figure stood standing on the Bailey ledge. It's been days. The rain was his only companion now and even the rain was no friend to the Flurry of Dancing Flames.
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Finally after what felt like an eternity, Tifa was able to drag her body from the comfort of her bed sheets to the bathroom. She reached for the lazy wire hanging from the ceiling to turn on the light, exposing a green and white tiled bathroom. Unwrapping the blood stained bandages from her tousled Sepia locks, she placed the bandages on ledge of the sink. Her finger pulled at the dark bags sagging beneath her eyes.
I look horrible. I need a shower. Stress is not my friend…
She leaned over into the single shower and twisted the steel knob. Warm water shot from the showerhead onto her forearm and she sighed at its comfort. She couldn't remember the last time she was able to enjoy a shower.
Slipping off her clothes and then her socks, the cold air sent a shiver up her spine. She huddled her arms as she stepped into the steamy shower. She turned her face up into the water just to enjoy the feeling and ease any remaining pain in her head. She was hoping the shower would ease her mind as well but it wasn't working. Instead it was making her think about the troublesome things in her life even more.
Her skin tightened at the thought of his warmth beside her the night before and she hadn't noticed. He must've purposely left behind the ice cream bar so she would know he was there. Why didn't he stay? Why did he come in the first place and lie in her bed? Was he worried? He couldn't be. Nobodies can't worry. It's an emotion and emotions were things that these beings lacked, or at least that's what she would've liked to believe or was told to believe.
Axel was different. Although he admitted being void of heart, he smiled like she did, laughed like she did, seemed to enjoy being with her, like she did. How could something like that be explained if the person doesn't have a heart or doesn't exist?
Her fingers traced over her lips unintentionally. She remembered what his warmth felt like being wrapped around her body when he held her. She remembered his taste on her lips. She remembered listening to his steady breathing as she leaned on his chest. She didn't hear a heartbeat but somehow he breathed just like she did. Nobodies were beings too difficult to fully understand. She was sure even Ansem the Wise discovered mysteries of the heart that could not be solved.
Still although he felt and acted like a being with a heart, she knew he didn't have one. As much as she hated to admit it, Nobodies had no hearts so what could she expect from him? He couldn't give her a heart he didn't have. Could she have fallen into the Nobody's scheme to gain her trust so in the end she'd lose her heart?
She shook her head at the possibility. She didn't want to believe it but then again she did have a history of being gullible with certain things, especially when it came to men. Trust was something she was beginning to lack in herself. Cloud was her perfect example. Even though things have been distant and awkward between them, still she could not turn him away. She could not deny the part of her that enjoyed his presence there when she woke up and his small touches on her as he cared for her. It was these small and subtle things that made her love him all these years. Even if he was always keeping to himself and hiding within his own darkness, he still cared for her in his own ways. He still protected her with his life. Would it be selfish to ask for more?
She rubbed the sides of her arms, letting herself stand in the running water. Leaning her head on the tiled wall, her ears picked up a calming sound tapping on the window. Her eyes looked and she sighed. Rain. It fit her perfectly at that moment.
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"Hey Roxas, if you were given a heart, what do you think you'd do with it?" Axel raised his brows in curiosity at the young boy sitting beside him. Legs crossed and resting on their palms they stared into the darkness on top of a skyscraper. There wasn't much sky to look at in the World that Never Was but it was nice to imagine.
Roxas put his hand to his chin, thoughtfully pondering his answer before he spoke, "Hmm…I dunno actually. I think I'd just try and experience as many emotions as possible. I'd laugh, get angry and even cry, just to see what it's like"
Axel nodded, "Yeah, I'd probably do the same"
The dirty blond's eyes widened as if something had struck him. He turned back to Axel, "Hey you know what I've always wondered?"
Axel responded with a questioning hmm and Roxas continued, "I've always wondered…what it was like to feel love. You know, love between friends, love between family and love between couples. I've watched them in the worlds and it looks…nice"
Axel was surprised upon this discovery but agreed, "Yeah, it does look nice"
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A smile spread across Axel's face as he reminisced in one of his few fondest memories. He never knew how much that conversation would impact him so deeply in the situation he was in now. He wondered what Roxas would've thought if he were there. He sighed.
Roxas had finally found a heart even though it was within Sora. Now he was able to smile, get angry and even shed tears. He was sure that now he knew what it was like…love.
Lucky him, Axel thought almost regretfully. After a moment of coming to his final decision, he clenched his fists in determination. Roxas had found out what it was like to love and be loved in return. Now he was gone and it was his turn to experience the same. He was tired of waiting and tired of wondering. He needed to know already. Was this new part of him worth hanging onto his existence for or was it better off to fade away?
Time was not something that could be spared so easily so finally he decided, the time was now to find out what he needed to know. He could not afford to waste anymore of whatever was left of his life and precious time.
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The cold wooden floors beneath her bare feet sent goose bumps to rise along her skin. Wrapped in a towel she grabbed a large black T-shirt laying on the bed and slipped it over her head, dropping the towel to her feet. She brought the black lace up along her slender legs before pulling up a pair of shorts on top. Her damp dark hair was pulled up in a messy tie, strands falling beside the curves of her face. Even though the shower didn't relieve her troubles, it at least relieved her body. She was at least thankful for that.
A cold breeze gusted from the crack of the window and she gasped. Huddling her arms for warmth she ran towards the window to close it. She shut the window and stood there for a moment. It was then that she froze. A familiar presence entered the room, a presence she had not invited and had not felt for days. Her grip released the window and she stood up, not turning to face him.
Axel did not like the look of this already. He knew she acknowledged his presence but for some reason refused to face him. Was she denying him already or was she just denying herself? Still he didn't want to assume. He needed to know and he didn't come to play a guessing game or give each other the cold shoulder. He had come for a reason and he wasn't leaving until everything was clear to him.
Her darkness throbbed inside of him, the darkness of her internal confusion. "What's wrong Tifa?" He kept his voice solemn, something he didn't do often around her. This wasn't a time to joke.
She crossed her arms in front of her and leaned against the window. There was a long silence. Only their breathing was heard and it seemed to grow louder as the silence dragged on. Finally she broke the silence with a whisper, "I just…I need time to think"
Axel furrowed his brows at her. As if she sensed that he was going to question her answer, she responded, "What do you feel if you cannot feel at all?"
Axel stepped back, slightly caught off guard with her question. He struggled to find the words to answer. It was as if his tongue was stuck to the roof of his mouth. Somehow he managed to stammer, "W-what?"
Still she kept her eyes and body turned away from him, "If you cannot feel, then what is it that you have for me? Where can this go?"
He stepped closer, slowly approaching her. "Tifa, I-" Now he was the mouse caught in the trap and had no idea what to say. After all he had planned to say to her and all the thinking he had done, nothing prepared him for the things she was asking of him.
"Have you been deceiving me? Have you been using me to gain my trust and then break it? So the Organization can use my Nobody?" Her voice was accusing and stern. It rubbed off on him.
"What? Tifa I told you, I'm not with those guys anymore. How could you say that?" His voice was getting louder even though he tried to keep calm. Still he couldn't help but wonder where she got these absurd ideas from, after all that they had experienced with one another. What made her doubt it now?
"Because this…this can't be real. If you don't really exist, this can't be real" her voice cracked and her fingers clawed her arms. He reached out to touch her shoulder and she harshly pulled away, attempting to rush past him. Now losing patience he grabbed her wrist.
"Tifa," he pleaded for her to listen and tried to keep his voice sincere but she continued to resist.
She shook her head slowly, tugging and trying to pull away from him, "No, this can't be real. I won't let myself get hurt again"
"Tifa, listen to me," he continued to try and pull her towards him so that he could face her but she just wouldn't give in. She wouldn't listen. He felt the darkness in her heart coming to a peak. He could hear her quivering voice trying to hide her tears and emotions.
"I cant-" she pulled harder to escape him, still shaking her head in denial.
"Tifa I won't- let me-" finally his patience was gone. Time was running out if it went at this pace. His hand yanked her to him, forcing her to fall onto his chest, losing her balance. She pushed against his chest and still holding her wrist, Axel used his teeth to pull off the leather glove from his other hand. His free hand rose to cup her cheek and lift up her tear-streaked face to meet his eyes. He kept his intense gaze on her, their faces barely inches apart.
"When I touch you, what does it feel like?" Tifa looked up, eyes glistening but he finally caught her attention. He released her wrist to guide her hand to his own face. Now holding each other's faces he whispered to her, "What do I feel like Tifa?"
She felt his breath on her face as she spoke. A stray tear rolled down her cheek as she closed her eyes, taking in the warmth of her hand on him and his hand on her. She stood silent. Axel used his gloved hand to curl around her delicate fingers on his cheek, still looking at her.
"I don't know why or how but even though I'm a Nobody, I feel warm as if there should be blood in my veins. I breathe as if I have lungs. I'm just as real as you except I have no heart. I can't give you my heart but if you accept me, I'll give you all that my existence has to offer. I won't let you get hurt again"
He massaged her fingers in his and she granted him a feeble smile. He smiled back at her. "I'm guess…I lack trust in myself and it scares me" Tifa whispered between them, now their foreheads resting on one another's. Once again her darkness faded and thankfully, he did not.
He nodded in understanding, "If you can't trust yourself, trust in me. Let me show you how real I can be…how real we can be"
Her fingers rose to wipe some stray raindrops trickling from his hair onto his face. Without explanation, her fingertips began to trace over the skin of his cheeks, the bridge of his nose, his closed eyelids and then the curve of his jaw. His eyes closed, letting her touch his face, feeling him, making sure he was real to her and relieving her doubts. She didn't understand why but her body wanted to touch him, desired to be just as close as the night before but this time she'd be awake.
"You- you came to me last night" her fingers continued to lightly trace over his masculine features. His hands rested on the small of her back.
"I- I wanted to be close to you…in case it was the last time" he confessed to her in a whisper barely audible to her ears. His eyes were still closed while she held his face.
She pulled his face down to hers and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. His grip on her tightened until she pulled away, "It won't be the last time…"
With eyes now open, he brushed her damp bangs from her eyes. He lifted her chin once again to meet his lips. He was damp from the rain and she was damp from the shower. He let her clean fresh scent submerge him as he kissed her. It enticed his senses, the feel of her soft skin and the scent of her sweet intoxicating strands of hair. He deepened the kiss, still feeling water tickling down his body as well as hers. They stood entranced in their moment for a while until Axel broke away, leaving his hand to hold her chin, "Tifa…my existence is yours"
She tilted her head at him, this time not in innocence but with an expression he'd never seen in her before. "And my heart is yours" To his surprise she lifted herself to his jaw line. Her moist lips still damp from their kisses, wisped over his skin. Fingers holding his head to her lips, her hot breath tickled along the curve of his jaw. Slowly she savored the taste of when her lips met his skin.
If this wasn't real then she didn't know what was. If this was a dream then she never wanted to wake up. If she could only have him for one night, she'd make sure to memorize his body's heat on hers before it ended. It made her thirst for more. He didn't object and kept her in his embrace, letting her have her way with him. His existence was hers now and she had willingly given her heart to him. She had finally accepted that she had fallen for a Nobody.
A breathy sigh escaped his parted lips as the new feelings emerging within his body began to brew into something else. His palms slid to her hips and held her against him as she lowered herself to the side of his neck. Lightly nipping his tender skin with her teeth, his sighs became ragged breaths. It made his body shudder and he clutched her tighter, trying not to show it.
He never knew a woman could make a man feel this good. He never knew a woman had the power to make a man feel this weak. She was addictive and once again she was bringing things out in him that he never knew existed.
She smiled at his reactions, finding pleasure in introducing him to these new levels of bliss. She already had in mind what she was going to do next. Her lips grazed up to his earlobe. His knees weakened at the touch of her lips and tongue there, swirling circles and outlines around that area. He couldn't explain what was happening but he didn't care. His mind was already a disarray of thoughts and desires. It was too much.
Once again he let his instincts lead him as they had done so well before. Just as he felt a new tingling sensation spread through his body as if it were flowing through his veins, he pulled away to dive his mouth into hers, hungrily nibbling her full lush lips in his. Fingers lost in her damp messy locks and rushing up and down her spine, she almost lost balance at the weakness in her body.
He held her to him, supporting her weight on him as he entangled his tongue with hers. She tasted so sweet. It was almost like the Sea Salt Ice cream she had given him. You just had an ongoing thirst for it and it made your mouth water at its taste. He couldn't get enough of her no matter how close she was to him or how long he stood braced in their mouths. Lingering on his bottom lip, she pulled away.
Time had stopped as her fingers guided up onto his chest and into his collar. Her hands crept into the neckline of his robe and he felt his skin tighten with goose bumps. She wanted more contact with his skin, wanted to make sure that under that black robe of his, he was as real as she thought. She needed to know.
As much as he wanted to pull her into his arms again, he resisted and cooperated with her actions. Slowly she began to tug on the zipper to his black robe. She met his solemn gaze, concentrating on one another's expressions. Once the zipper slid down and was open, she brought her hands to rise up his chest to his shoulders, cautiously slipping the robe down his shoulders. The material fell to the floor into a black heap of material, revealing his slim but firm body, dressed in a black shirt with fishnet short sleeves and matching slacks. She grabbed the hand that was still gloved and pulled the glove off his hand, dropping that to the floor as well.
His eyes watched her every subtle movement. The way she gracefully moved to touch him, to kiss him, to remove the things he was wearing. Her teeth bit at her bottom lip timidly as her palms glided down the firm waves of his abdomen felt through his shirt. Nails dragged to the hem of his shirt, slipping under just enough to feel the skin on his waist.
His gaze never left her, drinking at the sight of her. With her hands slithering beneath the thin material clothing his chest, all will and all sense that he had was broken instantly. His hands guided her hands to the back of his waist as he reached for her head, bringing his lips to her neck as she had done to him. Bending her head slightly as he fed on her creamy skin, whimpers and sighs emitted from her lips. He smiled on her skin before he continued more feverishly, destroying her control as she had also done to him.
Her hands pulled at the back of his shirt, pleading to feel more of his bare skin against her. In a quick moment, he pulled his top up over his head unveiling toned muscles and unmarred skin, all just for her. Her dark eyes widened at the sight of him but before her stare could last any longer, he pulled her back into his embrace so he can return to her neck and ears. Nails clawed at his shoulder blades as she clutched onto him and in time, his name passed through her lips lustfully.
This only encouraged Axel more as he brought his hands to slither under her shirt to feel the ridges of her spine. Her back arched causing her body to press against his and taking unhurried steps, she led their bodies towards her bed. She had never felt this way before as she was astonished by the emotions running through her freely.
The throbbing in her head was long gone and now she was lost indulging in this pleasurable experience with this super natural being. How could a man that she didn't even know less than two months ago know her more than the man who knew her all her life? How could a man without a heart show so much emotion to her and consider every part of her so precious? Perhaps it took a being without a heart to understand the value of a woman and how breathtaking she can be. One thing was for sure, he took her breath away.
She broke away briefly to relieve herself of her top, revealing to him the ripe and intimate flesh hidden beneath. She paused, waiting for a reaction from a being she was sure had never been exposed to the woman's body before. Surprisingly a smile tugged across his face as he observed her. As one hand held her waist, he fell back, holding her so that she wouldn't fall too hard against the mattress. She gasped in surprise and once his body hovered over hers, time had slowed down once more. His fingertips drew across her collarbone and dusted across her shoulders. His emerald eyes hypnotized her as he let his fingers begin to explore her bare smooth skin. Her gaze never left his as he did so and as her body began to jump at his touches, he leaned in to kiss her.
He kissed her deeply, straddling her with his body over hers, their hot skin damp from slowly emerging sweat. A moan muffled between their interlocking lips and Tifa's fingers gently pulled his head from her. He broke their kiss to share another fervent gaze with her as if he were trying to see her very soul. Crimson strands hung over his face and she smiled as she brushed them back. He smiled back at her lovingly.
"Axel…" her knuckles brushed against the side of his cheek and he leaned into her hand. He raised his brows at her, awaiting what she'd say next.
"You're the light I was always looking for," her eyes burned and tears brimmed at their edges, threatening to spill over. Words could not describe the pure ecstasy she was experiencing with him and even though so many things didn't make sense, it didn't matter.
She was glad to see his sly smile on his face. She loved it when he smiled that way. With the tattoos under his eyes he looked like a joker when he smiled. A real smart aleck but that's what she couldn't resist about him.
His thumb wiped the tears brimming in her eyes before letting his hand gradually trace down an imaginary line from the middle of her collarbone down to her navel. Still with that sly grin, he leaned into her, "Like I said, that's what fire's for, to help you see in the darkness"
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I think this is the best I've ever done with a scene like this. My writing has made a lot of improvements in this story and I'm glad. Anyway so Axel got to say his smooth finishing line. :drools, I luv him: So what you guys think? Want more or it's enough… Also I never quite understood the NC-17 thing…explain plz.
