I apologize for taking so long! The charger to my laptop broke so I had to wait a week for them to send me a new one and the chap that I had halfway done couldn't be finished because my computer was dead. I realized how much I missed my precious laptop all those days. :sob: Anyway wow now I have over 200 reviews! That's a first for me and I'd like to take the time to thank each and every person for reviewing and supporting my story. You guys rock. Anyway this chap will be the last before I write the endings to this story so enjoy.
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Chapter 16
Although her voice had cracked and stretched beyond her limits in that one scream, it was as if it was only a whisper that only the ears of dogs could hear. No one would come to her aid. Nothing was going to bring him back. Crying would solve nothing and Tifa knew this well. That's why after a few tears she stopped, closing her eyes and nuzzling her sticky face into her huddled knees. As the nighttime breeze cooled off her damp cheeks she thought back on all the things that had changed in her life.
She thought of the endless nights she spent wandering in the Bailey alone, thinking of the only man she had loved that never quite loved her just the same in return. As darkness throbbed in her heart, she never knew that around those dark corners was the very man created from darkness that would bring her out to the light.
She smiled as she thought of how they started out. In a bitter fight of misunderstandings to making up through Sea-Salt Ice cream. Then the countless nights meeting up with the dark stranger to spill out her life to him in words or sometimes say nothing at all.
Although he had no heart or recollection of his past life and emotions, he always listened. The way he held her hand so protectively through the realm and took her to new worlds beyond imagination and as she marveled in the sand, he watched her as if she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. She had never been looked at that way until then.
Somehow, strangely enough it led them to a bond she never thought was possible. She had a heart, and a lifetime of tribulations and tear stained memories. He had no heart, no memories except for the ones when he was born into the organization and could not shed a tear even if he wanted to. Still he took all he had, all he existed with to understand her loneliness, her loss, and the gap in her heart that was always empty. He fulfilled it.
Through loss, through darkness and through the common emptiness of not having a purpose, fate had led them to one another. Despite the objections, despite the obstacles and even more tears, they managed to hold on and make it through.
She shivered at the thought of what his lips felt like along her skin. On her lips, her bare shoulders and even her fingers. He had kissed her, held her and cherished her piece by piece and indulged only to give her a night that would forever be engraved into her memory. If only she could've spent just a bit more time with him. Just one more night of lovemaking and strokes through her hair. One more night of diligent conversation and sparring for fun. One more night of his hand on hers through the realm as he led her beyond where her feet would go. She wouldn't ask for more.
Fate pitied her enough to lead this man's curiosity to her. Fate hated her enough to take him away. Still, everything happens for a reason.
There was so much to leave behind. The man she had known all her life that had finally learned to return some of the love she had always showered him in. The bar that she worked so hard to establish and keep things running. The motherless children at the orphanage whose lives she worked to protect, just as a mother should. The family that was finally beginning to form for a while when she'd read the children a story and they'd tug her leg asking when Cloud was coming home, just as they'd ask if he were their father. He'd put them to sleep, with some trouble, and go upstairs to be offered the arms of the woman who cared for him most. All their friends and all their good memories, there was so much to leave behind.
Still, she couldn't help but wish that she could be selfish. All her life she had loved others, fought for others, protected others and always put herself last in hopes that it would all be returned to her.
The gray jagged stones beneath her rear were cold. The air was damp. The sounds of the heartless below her were bothersome. After about an hour of recovery and reminiscence her legs somehow found a way to stagger up. She took one last look at the Bailey before she walked away. Where she met him, where she kissed him and where he left her.
Eyes now set on the horizon of the town she had no choice but to head back to the Inn. There was nothing that could be done except to wait. If he didn't come back she'd have to live on. He would want her to.
Her heart throbbed but it was easier to control her own darkness now. The image of his smile breathing on her lips always shed some light in her heart. She would go back to the Inn and hibernate the night away underneath the bed sheets.
He was gone and what was worse, it would be like he never existed at all. That's what Nobodies are, ghosts and dreams. It only hurt that she had to wake up from this one.
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"Tifa …you can't expect that of me"
She looked up into the cerulean eyes glaring down at her as she sat on the edge of her bed, already barefoot and ready to sleep. She didn't blame him really. It was awkward. Still he was her childhood friend wasn't he? After all she had given to him, couldn't he grant her this one favor?
Her thin trembling fingers tugs onto his as she looked up at him. Her eyes red and cheeks still damp. She was so vulnerable. How could he deny her? She didn't ask for much and as much as his pride would never let him admit it, he too was glad she was asking this of him, as shameful as he must feel for it.
He stood stiff for a long moment as she pleaded him with her eyes. She didn't tell him much. The Innkeeper just told him that she wanted to see him and it was urgent. This was something he wasn't expecting. He could so easily see the need written all over her. Finally he nodded, giving into defeat. He at least owed her this.
"Thank you Cloud" He just nodded as he began removing the large sword on his back and his shoes.
Tifa shifted over into the sheets, curling in to face the wall. She could sense his tense figure hesitating to approach her but soon enough he did. She felt his heat carefully climb in beside her as her body relaxed at the feel of his arms draping around her body. Already she could feel the burn in her eyes.
Trying to prevent her voice from quivering she whispered, "Closer…please"
He said nothing as he obeyed. His grip on her tightened and she almost sighed in relief. Just as her eyelids were about to heave down she whispered to Cloud behind her, "I'm sorry, for asking this of you"
She felt his chin rest of the top of her head and he nodded with a deep hum signaling that he was responding. She couldn't sleep alone. Not tonight.
The warmth of his embrace protected her thankfully through harmless dreams.
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Cloud opened the door to her room with a gentle knock before entering. Of course he hadn't expected that she would respond anyway, it was just a habit. Closing the door with his foot and holding a hot tray in each hand he looked across the room. She was still in the same spot he had left her in. He wasn't even sure if she noticed him coming back in.
She stared out the window, hands folded onto her knees as she seemed to be focused on something. Cloud placed the two trays onto the table before walking over to the window. Outside he saw what had caught her eye. Leon and Rinoa laughing as they passed down the streets. Strange seeing that man smile so much…
He placed a firm hand on her shoulder in which abruptly woke her from her daze. She gasped and then tilted her head and smiled. She jumped up from the chair with her hands behind her back she cheerfully walked to the table.
"Pancakes mmm my favorite, and I thought you forgot," Tifa teased Cloud behind her as she sniffed in the sweet maple and buttermilk aromas from her steaming plate. Wasting no time she settled in the wooden chair tucked in the round table. Cloud did the same without a word.
As she stuffed the soft sweet foamy pieces into her mouth cheerfully, Cloud solemnly observed her every movement. The scraping of metal utensils against her plate and the cheerful mumbling in her mouth didn't seem to bother him. Instead he stared at her, not bothering to even lift a fork to his plate once.
He waited for the right moment to say what was on his mind but either way it was awkward. He knew she sensed it too but was doing a wonderful job hiding it as she had done with so many of her emotions in the past. Except this time he put more of his effort into noticing these things.
Cloud bent his head to stare at his plate, still full with untouched breakfast. As he wondered how to even start a conversation with this woman she abruptly lifted up from her seat and leaned across the table. He looked up to see her reach out for the syrup bottle and she raised it up over his plate.
Cheeks puffed and mouth full she sung sweetly yet gently all of a sudden, "Here, let me help you"
Cloud reached up to wrap a firm grip around her wrist. To his surprise it was shaking. His eyes rose to meet hers but she suddenly turned away, attempting to settle back in her seat. He held her wrist so that she couldn't.
"Tifa…" he called onto her. He would give anything for her to show the sides of her she had hid so well for so long. She rarely showed her sadness to him nor her tears but now that he knew all that she was hiding, he would rather have that than what she was doing now. She was smiling, bustling about happily and not a second of it was genuine. He could see the worry aging under her eyes already.
She didn't bother to meet his gaze and suddenly realizing his rather forceful grip on her wrist his fingers snapped open to release her as if he had been burned. She sat back slowly, shifting in her chair pretending to get comfortable. All that was left on her plate was crumbs and pools of syrup.
"Tifa…"
"Hmm?" She finally managed to look up at him. He saw it. The fear in her eyes if he brought up the subject she was deliberately avoiding the existence of.
What happened with Axel? Was he coming back or did he leave off on a suicide mission? What was she going to do if he did come back? Was she going to stay with him? If he didn't come back was she just going to unhappily tag along with him and return to the orphanage? Although he knew the children would never make her feel unhappy, didn't he make her feel unhappy?
He didn't want to deal with this artificial Tifa for the rest of his life now that he had seen the side of her that she had always hid from him. All he ever wanted was for her to live for herself and be happy. It may have been a mistake for him to chase his darkness into this world knowing that Tifa had jumped in after him. Too late to regret. Still nothing to say.
"Here, I know you want them," Cloud pushed his plate of soggy but still warm pancakes across the table in front of her.
Right away he regretted what he said. Of course he wanted to say anything other than the wrong thing at such a fragile moment but somehow his innocent gesture triggered something in her. Her smile had lost its veil and become real, except filled with a slight sadness. He didn't want to pity her. She was such a strong woman at body and in heart. She was not one to be pitied and he didn't want her to think that.
As she humbly met his eyes smiling at him gratefully he rose his hand to hold her chin. He didn't mean to and he didn't know what came over him but it just happened on its own. Even during the nights they did spend under the covers in each other's arms, it was rare for him to show such affection or even emotion openly.
He wanted to pull away but it was too late. It was amazing how with all that he had gone through with this woman, it took the possibility of her leaving to make him really truly be grateful for her. She had always watched him, worried about him, waited for him and supported him. It was about time that he returned the favor.
Caressing her cheek before quickly pulling away he lowered his head in regret as he spoke to her. His voice was low and serious, almost like an old man telling a legend from a long time ago.
"When I first found out about him, I thought about all the things that were wrong with it. All the dangers in this being besides the fact that he wasn't human and he was involved with the Organization. He had no heart. He wouldn't be able to bear children with you. No one knows how long a Nobody's life span is and if they even age at all…"
Tifa stood motionless as she rested her chin on her palm, listening intently as Cloud poured out whatever was on his mind.
"After struggling in my mind I finally realized that I was no better. I had a heart but never fully gave it to you. I never granted you the promise of children and I always kept you wondering if I would come back alive or come back at all"
"Cloud, you're never ever going to change are you?" smiling and commenting on his stubborn ways of always thinking so negative on everything.
There was a long stretched pause that made Tifa suddenly feel strange. She sat back stiffly against the chair and awaited for him to say something. Just as she thought he had gone mute he opened his lips to say more.
"Tifa, if something happens I just want you to know that I will give you all that you expected from me"
"Expected from you? What do you-"
"A child Tifa, a family…"
Her mouth transformed into a stunned "o". This man barely cracked a smile and here he was telling her he wanted to bear children with her. As much as she had desired this for years along with so many desires, now it came to her as a shock.
Leaving her puzzled Cloud stood up from his chair, turning her back to her as he walked toward the door. He reached for the knob before speaking again, "There's still a life waiting for you in our world if you will it. I will do everything in my power this time not to repeat the mistakes I have made"
With that Cloud left the room. She knew it probably wasn't easy for him to say all that he said. He probably left to save what was left of his pride. It was such a surprise to see how much he had changed because of her. Even though he had finally let her go to make her own decisions, he was also now giving her the option to be with him if she decided that as well. Unlike all the other times in the past, the tone of his voice told her this time he would be true to his word. That was a comforting as well as scary feeling.
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The blazing sun didn't help ease the tension she felt. She thought a walk would clear her mind and all it did was make her skin hot and sticky. Usually a time like this would call for a pop of Sea-Salt ice cream but she wasn't in the mood for it.
The back of her palm wiped the excess sweat dotting along her forehead as she headed toward the Market Place. No doubt the place would be crowded with bustling shoppers. Maybe she needed to get lost in the crowd.
So many additional thoughts suffocated her. She knew Cloud didn't have the intent to confuse her more but she couldn't help but dwell on the words he said to her before he left. She loved Cloud and she already knew she always would have a place for him in her heart…however after all the years of dreaming of unrealistic fantasies that he never granted now all of a sudden he wanted all the things she did. If it 'd been two months ago she would've been thrilled, crying tears of joy. Now here she was, giving a second thought to the things she had wanted for so long. That is until she met him.
Axel… the name burned the tip of her tongue even though she barely whispered it. Cloud was right in so many ways even though he admitted defeat in the things he said. He was still right. Sure he didn't have a heart and that wasn't a problem but the other things Cloud said made her wonder. Would she have to give up her hopes on a child if she gave herself to a Nobody? Would Axel age with her or always look the same as she aged alone? Would her old age effect the way he felt for her if he kept the same face? How long was he guaranteed to live if he did come back?
Then the major question, was he even coming back? He never told her what this other purpose was. She thought she was his only purpose now. I guess there was some things he thought were better left unsaid. What bothered her the most is that he never felt that it was necessary to keep things from her in the first place so the only reason why he would keep this to himself is because he must've knew she would've stopped him from going. She only would've stopped him from going if it was life threatening. Putting all the pieces together, she already knew all the answers. She just didn't want to admit them.
It made her heart ache to even let the thought of him dying pass through her mind. She couldn't let him die and if he did, how would she know? She wasn't with him. She felt so helpless.
Dragging her hands by her sides she spotted a familiar couple leaning against the stone ledge lost in their chatter. Leon left Rinoa with a kiss in her hair before he walked away, mumbling something about work. Tifa sighed. That man would never change.
It pained her as well as made her happy watching the two of them. It was bittersweet. She was happy that she helped Rinoa reunite with her lost love and at the same time, deep within her she couldn't help but feel a little jealous that Rinoa had Leon and Axel was gone.
Rinoa greeted Tifa with a hug before she patted a spot on the ledge next to her. Tifa hopped onto the ledge and sat beside her newfound friend. Tifa swung her legs carelessly, unable to come up with the words to begin a conversation. The last thing she wanted to hear about was how happy Rinoa was with Leon. After seeing that Tifa had nothing to say, it seemed Rinoa saw right through her.
"He's gone isn't he?" Those words pierced through her as Tifa turned to Rinoa wide eyed.
"H-how did you know?"
"I can see it in your eyes. We're not too different when it comes to love. I once lost mines too remember?"
"Hmm, I see…" Tifa didn't know how to respond. Since Rinoa was doing such a great job reading her she was sure the silence was understandable to her as well. She probably knew exactly what was running through her mind.
"I think…you should follow your heart"
Tifa turned her attention back to Rinoa and although she didn't ask for the advice it seemed she read her well enough to know that she needed the advice either way.
"What does your heart tell you?"
Tifa's brows furrowed in thought for a second before responding, "It tells me a lot of things. That's the problem. I don't know what to listen to"
"Well what does it tell you on impulse? Not even thinking too much about it, what's the first thing that comes to mind?"
As Tifa continued to daze out in thought a young boy with brown spiky hair caught her attention in the crowd. There he was squeezing through the crowds with Donald and Goofy trailing behind him. By the expression on Donald's face he was obviously frustrated with the sardine can crowd and Goofy was just jolly as usual.
"Sora!"
Her heart jumped out of her chest at the sight of him. She gasped and jumped off the ledge without another word of response to Rinoa. With a quick wave back to Rinoa she darted into the crowd before disappearing.
"Sora?" Rinoa wondered. Shrugging her shoulders she got off the ledge, "Well that was easy. Good luck Tifa" With a smile she headed to Merlin's house with thoughts of writing Leon a letter while he was away.
Tifa squeezed through, around and about all the passing people. Reaching her hands out in front of her in the direction of the young boy, it seemed her calls weren't reaching him. What luck she had that he would stop in this world to pick up supplies out of all the worlds he could've gone to. Maybe fate didn't hate her after all.
As Sora headed outside of town, Tifa followed closely, trying not to make her presence known. If she did then he might not let her accompany them. She had to sneak on their ship without them realizing it. She needed to go through the realm and through other worlds to find Axel. She couldn't do it alone and Sora's ship was the fastest and easiest way to do it. She just knew in her gut that this was the right way to go.
She successfully infiltrated behind them before they entered something in which they referred to as a Gummi Ship. She tried to make out their conversation but all that she could get from it was something about an alternate town and the password.
The large steel door closed as Tifa ducked into the closest corner piled up with boxes that would conceal her. On her knees she peeked through the boxes to watch the three friends as they started the ship. The rumbling beneath her feet signaled they were taking off.
Her hands shook with excitement. Cloud was going to kill her when he found out and so was Axel, that is if she found him.
Her brown eyes marveled at the blackening sky stroked with stars and colors. It was beautiful. Before she could stay fascinated for long the ship began to twist and turn rather roughly. Tifa clung onto the steel walls for support.
"Fasten your seat belts guys. We're in for a bumpy ride," yelled Sora to Donald and Goofy and they nodded in agreement. They must've been used to this kind of thing.
After a few moments it became clear, very clear that her stomach was not used to this kind of thing. As the ship twisted and turned, darting through the skies, Tifa began to feel the juices in her stomach twist and turn too. A burn rose to her throat as her palm held her mouth from any accidents that may happen.
With the combination of the ship rumbling and vibrating along with turning in every direction and going too fast, it wasn't too long before her head began to ache. Maybe this was a bad idea after all. The noises of their missiles and excited cheers drowned out her nauseous attempts of hacking up her pancakes. The bitter taste slithered in the back of her tongue as she swallowed, trying her best to contain her self.
Gulping. Turning. Twisting. Upside down. Too fast.
She thought Cid was a reckless driver but give the controls to a rambunctious kid like Sora and it could even make Cloud puke shamelessly.
It was too hard. Her eyes watched the monitor as they drove and within another few minutes, she passed out head first into the boxes. Thankfully they were so loud, they still didn't notice her.
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Tifa was rudely awakened with a rough pain jolting through her head. It must've been a result from the rough ride. Shaking her head and groaning, she almost forgot where she was. Cautious once again she observed her surroundings while rubbing her head. It seemed they had left already.
Realizing it was safe to come out from hiding, Tifa stood up, brushing her sides with her hands. The only life that seemed to be in the ship was too small chipmunks fast asleep near the control panel. The monitor read "Destination Arrival Success: Twilight Town".
It only took a brief second to feel it but it was strong enough to make her grasp her chest. Fingers clenching the material on her chest she closed her eyes in concentration. She remembered Rinoa's words when they were lost in the realm. She needed to follow the light and then she would find him.
He was here. She could feel it. Somehow she knew he was in this world. It was a vague presence tugging at her but she knew if she tried hard enough, she'd find him. She refused to give up now after getting this far.
She darted out of the ship still pressing her palm to her beating heart. As it throbbed continuously she felt her legs shiver with excitement.
Axel, I'm coming. Whether you get mad at me or not, you can't leave me behind.
Eyes closed and hands in front of her, she ran towards the direction of the light, his light.
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Crowds of coiling dusks surrounded the Pyro standing back to back with the keyblade wielder. He wanted to find him but not like this. As usual Saix couldn't help but harass him and now here he was, stuck in the realm, exhausted and in a pretty pissy mood. Well it wasn't like he didn't expect it to be this way.
While Saix was on his merry way to Kairi, Axel was left with the mob of Nobodies to follow him every step of the way. He hadn't stopped since he left Radiant Garden. Truthfully he hadn't stopped since Saix first attacked him and Tifa in the realm and he had no idea where all his endurance came from.
Maybe it came from his determination to live. He needed to see Sora. He needed to tell him about Kairi. If he couldn't see Roxas, then he would have to settle with Sora. It didn't bother him too much knowing that somewhere inside Sora, Roxas was happier than what he was.
At least he was happy. Now he had all the emotions he wanted to experience at his disposal. Lucky kid.
Axel let out another yell as he sliced through another mob of Dusks. Wheezing and panting, he aligned himself back with Sora. There were too many of them. They wouldn't make it out alive at this rate. Sora could probably use one of his finishing moves but he needed to save his strength for The World That Never Was. He needed to save his strength to find Kairi and defeat Xemnas. That's when Axel knew he was running out of options.
If he had a heart, this would be the time he would feel pain in knowing he was about to commit suicide. He would've liked to live longer but if there was any chance of Sora saving Kairi, he would have to do this. He owed him that for kidnapping her in the first place. It was his fault Saix got a hold of her and for that he would repay Sora with his life.
Since he didn't have a heart, it was easy not to hesitate. No fear. No pain. No regret.
Axel smiled as he thought of the one thing that made his death easier. At least he was fortunate enough to have a taste of love.
Tifa…I'm sorry.
Axel was ready. He knew what he had to do and nothing would stop him.
"I think I liked it better when they were in my side"
"Feeling a little…regret" Sora teased Axel.
Axel flashed him his famous jester smile, "Nah, I can handle these punks. Watch this!"
Axel failed to realize the additional presence that had just entered the realm. Once he felt her, it was too late. He couldn't let her stop him. Sora would protect her afterwards.
I always tell that girl not to come into the realm. Hmmph, she never listens. That's why I couldn't get enough of her.
Tifa ran towards the small figures surrounded by Dusks. Her heart throbbed painfully as she realized what was going on. Her screams did not reach them because she was too far from them. She watched as Axel stretched out his arms to execute the opening move and her eyes widened.
She knew that move! He showed it to her on the beach!
"Axel! Noooo!"
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Sorry if the game script was a little boring. I hate putting it in but sometimes I want the story to go along with what really happened. Well it was a pretty long chap and I hope it satisfied everyone. It'll take me a while to write the endings since I have more than one to write and they'll probably be long too. I'll be submitting them all at once. I checked the TOS and the guidelines and it's allowed to have multiple endings as long as they stay as chapters in this story and not as separate entries.
Thanks Cassie J for thinking my story is addicting. Personally I think my stories start off kinda weak and get better as I get more into it. That's my opinion though.
