hello! have some slice-of-life fluff from a universe where sirius didnt go to azkaban and got to raise harry the way he should've been able to

fair warning, i have no clue how english speaking 5 year olds talk so harry's speech might be inconsistent here.

hope you enjoy it! im thinking of turning this into a series with more drabbles/oneshots set in this particular universe but idk yet, lets see.

leave a review if you like it? i love hearing ur words!


It was a beautiful day. The sky was a bright blue, not a cloud in sight; the temperature was just right. By all means, Sirius should be having a good time, a wonderful time even because just seeing the sun was a rare treat these days, let alone being able to bask in it.

But no. He wasn't having a good time. Everything was horrible and he actually wished for grey skies and merciless downpour so that the outside matched his inner turmoil.

Dramatic? Perhaps. But he was allowed to be, dammit.

Because Harry, his little Prongslet, was supposed to start his first day of school tomorrow. Sirius wasn't prepared for this! He knew this day was coming, sure, but he wasn't ready to be separated.

(Ok, fine. It wasn't Hogwarts. It was just primary school and he'd be back home in a few hours but it was still- Sirius had never been away from his baby for so long before—what was he supposed to do?)

He knew when he'd decided to raise Harry in the muggle world that this day - might - happen sometime, but he was also more focused on other things, like safety and legality and ensuring he'd read all the parenting books he needed to care of a child full time (he'd expected to be the fun uncle at most, but no way was he just giving up on Harry because of a measly reason like that). He hadn't even thought about the fact that muggles send their kids to school much earlier than wixen did, that he wouldn't be homeschooling Harry until he was eleven.

Instead, he had to send him to school when he was just five years old. Harry barely came up to Sirius' hip still, he was entirely too small right now. But alas, Sirius had decided to live in the muggle world, which meant complying with all their rules. And an of-age child still staying at home would raise questions he'd rather not have to deal with. After all, he couldn't keep magiking his way out of uncomfortable situations all the time now could he?

"Siri!" A familiar high pitched voice squeal broke through his brooding, instantly brightening his mood.

"Prongslet," Sirius echoed in response, James' nickname for Harry falling off his lips naturally. He bent down to pick up the small ball of energy before he could be bowled over.

"Hi," Wide, green eyes, lit up with joy and mischief looked up at him expectantly and per usual, Sirius was a goner.

"Hi baby," he pressed a kiss to the messy black curls tickling his chin.

"Whatchu thinkin' Siri?"

"Oh, th-nothing much, Harry," Sirius tried to deflect but he knew he'd failed by the adorable furrow that appeared on Harry's little brow. That was a thing he'd started doing recently- frowning- to try and look more adult. It was equal parts endearing and upsetting, because it was just another sign of how quickly he was growing up. First he was frowning and acting all mature beyond his years, then he started going to school, and next thing you knew, he was off to Hogwarts, refusing to associate with his godfather, starting a punk rock band and leaving his home without a backward glance.

Hm. Maybe he was overreacting?

He was saved from thinking about that by Harry poking his cheek with a chubby little finger, "Nuh-uh! I saw you. You were all-all frowny and sad." He scrunched his nose and exaggerated the frown on his face, seemingly in an imitation of what Sirius looked like, and man, his godson really was quite observant, huh?

"Okay, you got me, honey," Sirius admitted reluctantly. Just because he was facing a five year old didn't mean he wanted to lie to him.

"I was just thinking of you going to school tomorrow."

Harry cocked his head to the side, confused (and looking exactly like Lily as he did).

"School," he echoed. Sirius had talked to him about it, about why he had to go and maintaining the secrecy of the, uh, other aspects of their life. Harry hadn't seemed all that responsive, more interested in playing with his stuffed toys at the time, but Sirius took comfort in the fact that at least he hadn't responded negatively. Now he was thinking maybe he'd been a little too hasty.

"Uh—yes. Remember we had a chat about this the other day, Harry?" Sirius prompted, "You'll be with a lot of other kids and you'd make all kinds of new friends and have a lot of fun!"

Despite all the cheer injected in his voice, it was clear that Harry wasn't as on board with the idea as he'd been hoping, judging by the pout forming on his face.

"But-But what 'bout you?"

Sirius' heart melted at the wide green eyes directed his way. "I'll be at home, waiting for you, of course."

That didn't seem to be what his godson had been hoping for because the frown only intensified.

"I don' wanna be away from you, Siri," he stated firmly.

Well, fuck. How did Sirius look him in his puppy dog eyes and tell him he couldn't bear the thought of being separated even for an hour? (In a way, he recognised this was a problem of his own making. He'd always been lenient with Harry, never stopping him from being too clingy or cuddly, even letting him sneak into his bed at night more often than not. He was—aware enough to realise he'd developed some form of attachment anxiety after James and Lily's deaths, and it had only intensified as Harry grew, not lessened.)

"You have to be, honey," he replied gently, trying another route, "You're a big boy now and that means there's certain rules you, and I, must follow. This is one of them. We'll get in trouble otherwise."

"You'll be trouble?" Harry asked, eyes wide and troubled.

"No, we'll be in trouble," Sirius corrected but Harry was already shaking his head rapidly.

"No, no, I don' want you to—no, Siri, I'll go, 'm sorry."

"Hey, hey, hey, Harry," Sirius soothed, "I promise you, you're going to have fun, okay? So much you won't even miss me, I'm sure."

"No, I'll miss you," Harry instantly protested, "I don' like when you're away."

Seriously, who the fuck gave this kid the right to be this adorable? A part of Sirius was mentally cursing James and Lily, because of course they had to produce the single most precious kid on this planet. Overachievers, the pair of them.

"Well, I'll miss you too," Sirius replied, well, seriously. No way he was letting his kid believe otherwise, "But think of it this way. You'll get to meet all sorts of cool people and do a lot of interesting things, and then come home and tell me all about it, okay?"

He could see Harry chewing on his lip, seemingly thinking over this amended proposal before he nodded decisively.

"Otay!" he chirped in his adorable lisp that Sirius was kind of hoping would never go away

"Okay," Sirius repeated, happy to have averted a tantrum. Now if he could do the same with his own impending tantrum, that would be great.


Staring up at the large, brick building, or more specifically the sign with 'Collingswood Primary' written on it, displayed front and centre, Sirius felt the dread he'd been trying to push back all week flood him with renewed vigour.

"Right," he started with false cheer infused in his entire being, "Let's do this, huh?"

He looked down at Harry, who was standing on his left (and still barely coming up to his hip it wasn't fair he was too small why did he have to— ) one hand clasped in his and the other dangerously close to his mouth. Harry didn't usually go for the thumb-in-mouth option these days, since he was 'a big boy and that was for babies', but he was pretty nervous now, so Sirius could understand. Hell, he was feeling some intense self-soothing urges himself.

Giving into it (and hoping to keep Harry from falling back on his habit) Sirius immediately bent down to lift his godson into his arms. With an almost audible sigh of contentment, Harry (backpack and all) burrowed as deep as he could until his nose was smushed against Sirius' collarbone, and his hands were fisted tightly in his shirt.

Sirius, for his part, just planted his face directly in Harry's unruly curls (no amount of brushing could get it presentable for his first day so they'd just rolled with it) and just took a deep breath. Cuddling with Harry, inhaling the familiar scent of his fruity shampoo, and generally having him around soothed his anxiety each time, without fail, and this was no different. He could instantly feel himself becoming calmer, and silently marvelled at how much of a difference something so small could make.

"Right," he tried again, his voice not coming out so shaky anymore, "Time to go in, then."

The only response he got was the tightening of fists in his shirt, and a muffled whine.

Sirius blinked, trying to ward off the moisture he could feel building in his eyes (which— literally what the fuck. he hasn't cried in years?) and walked inside the building instead of bawling on the sidewalk—he could do that at home, when he was alone. He glanced at the floor map, looking for 12B, and realised it wasn't too far from where he was. Well damn, there went his last-minute plan keeping Harry to himself as long as he could.

Even almost dragging his feet as he was (he could literally hear his mother's voice chiding his manners in the back of his head, horrifically enough) it didn't take more than a couple minutes to reach the door of the classroom.

He took a deep breath. Peeked in through the little glass window, caught sight of a bunch of kids in various stages of emotions from joyful to outright crying and two teachers, and pulled right back.

Okay.

He could do this.

Right?

He took a look at the little messy head buried against his neck and inhaled sharply.

No, he couldn't. How was he supposed to just leave without his little monkey hanging off him? What was he going to do for the rest of the day? He could not remember a time when he wasn't within calling distance of his godson in the past four years. Was he just meant to—exist on his own?

Merlin, what a mess. He was just contemplating saying 'fuck it' and taking a chance with the Muggle authorities. He was good at magic, great even. He could take on a few of them for Harry, right?

But his (super plausible, in his opinion) plans were thwarted when the door suddenly opened, startling him and his precious bundle, who jumped in his arms. Sirius arms tightened reflexively as he looked at the lady who'd just exited the room. She looked—fine, not like she was an undercover Death Eater (was that something he was supposed to be worried about? Shit—). Her dark hair was piled into a neat bun on the top of her head, she had large, rectangular frames sitting on the bridge of her nose, and a kind, polite smile on her face. A discreet look revealed she was wearing casual, comfortable clothes, like she was ready for a day with a bunch of hyperactive, emotional kids. Nothing Sirius could find fault with, regrettably. No blaring alarm signs that this place wasn't it for his Harry.

(Never mind that he had scoured the entire city with a magnifying glass looking for the best primary school money could afford. Nothing but the absolute best for his godson, after all.)

"Hello!" The lady greeted, closing the door gently behind her. She looked curiously at Harry, who'd yet to emerge from his cocoon, before focusing on Sirius.

He could see the way her eyes travelled from his own hair (long enough that he'd braided into a high ponytail for the day), the visible tattoos on his arms and collar, and stopping briefly on the piercings in his ears and lip. To her credit, she didn't react in any way other than some raised brows, which was nothing compared to some of the stuff Sirius was used to.

"Hi," he replied, untangling one arm from Harry to extend to her.

She shook it, firm and brief, smiling at him, "Welcome to Collingswood Primary! I'm Katherine, but you—and your little friend here—can call me Kat, if you'd like."

Sirius smiled back politely, but focused his attention on Harry first. He gently carded his fingers through his hair, rubbing slow circles on his back with the other.

"Babe, you ready to come out of there?" he teased gently.

"Nuh-uh, no," a small, muffled voice answered in return.

Sirius bit his lip in amusement, "But Miss Katherine is waiting for you, Harry. You know it's rude to make others wait."

That made him peek out, one visible green eye glaring (or, trying to, at least) at the world around him.

"Hello, there," Katherine beamed, "Nice to see you."

Sirius waited, and when no answer came, gently poked his kid's ribs.

"Ye-ow!" he yelped, turning the glare on Sirius, who only raised a brow pointedly. Harry huffed, knowing he wouldn't win this one.

"You too, Miss," he replied, grumpily, but did it nonetheless. You couldn't ask much more of him, especially not when his guardian was on the verge of an emotional breakdown as well.

"Well, there's a lot of others like you in the room there," she pointed behind her with an index finger, "Would you like to go in and meet them?"

Harry immediately pouted at the idea, moisture beading at the edges of his eyes, and Sirius forgot about Miss. Katherine and the rest of the building and the couple mothers he could see peeking at them curiously at once.

"Hey, hey, hey, what did we talk about?" he wiped at his cheeks with the pad of his thumb, "You know it's important to be here, love."

"Bec- b'cause you'll be trouble if I don' do it," Harry hiccuped tearfully.

Sirius shot a sheepish look at the teacher still waiting on them, before turning back to Harry, "Well yes, but also, remember how I told you I didn't go to a primary, and daddy didn't either? And we were huge dorks when we went to Hog—boarding school, because of it, you know? Everyone laughed at us, 'cause we didn't know how to tie our shoes and we thought pudding came from the taps, and mummy had to tell us that the telly ran on e-lek-tricity instead of magic."

"Pudding don' come from taps, Padfoot, everyone knows that!" Harry replied with a giggle, instantly brightening at the ridiculous idea, which was Sirius' intention all along. He knew James would forgive him for making a fool out of him in front of his son.

"Well, I didn't, and neither did daddy, all because we thought we were too good for primary. You don't want the same to happen to you, do you?" he asked mock-sternly, with comically wide eyes and raised brows.

"You can teach me all- all of it," Harry needled, trying one last time, though Sirius was well versed in Harry-language by now to recognise it was a last ditch attempt and he didn't truly expect it to work out.

"Sorry, honey, I don't have the credentials for it."

"Wha'sa cre-dental?" Harry asked, distracted, completely butchering the word.

"Cre-den-tial," Sirius enunciated with a tap to his little button nose, "It means Miss Kat here is smart enough to teach you, and I'm not."

"Tha's not right, you know everything!" Harry protested indignantly and oh, Sirius just had to kiss him on his chubby little cheek then. Once, twice, thrice for good measure, effectively reverting him to giggly-Harry once again.

"Gosh, you precious child," he muttered under his breath before straightening up with an apologetic look towards the teacher, who had—this ridiculously soft look on her face, Merlin.

"Okay," he said, finality lining his voice. They'd gone on long enough now, and he could see other parents lining the hallways.

"We've made Miss Katherine wait long enough, now. She has a lot of work to do." He gently pulled the little monkey off him, and set him down on the ground. Harry immediately tried to latch onto his leg, but he anticipated that, so he kneeled down before that could happen.

"Harry, Harry, Harry, it's only a few hours," he soothed, pushing his fringe back and flattening it down, "I'll be here waiting for you at the end of the day, and you won't even realise how fast it went by. You'll be sad to leave the place, I'm telling you."

"You pwomise?" Harry sniffed, one hand latching onto Sirius' collar and the other rubbing at his own eyes. Sirius resisted the urge to coo, knowing it would only take him back in progress at this point.

"Well, I'm almost sure that'll happen," he winked playfully, "I know everything so that's good enough, right?"

"I guess," Harry pouted.

"One last kiss, then, and you have to go in after that. We've been holding up the line, see," Sirius pointed at the people standing behind them and Harry blushed at finally noticing the attention they were getting. Although, thankfully, most of the others were engaged in their own, similarly tearful, farewells so they were all in the same boat here.

Harry heaved a great sigh, as if the world was ending instead of him having to attend his first day of primary, and raised on tippy toes to press a sweet kiss to Sirius' lips. Sirius followed it up with his own peck on Harry's nose, followed by two wet smacks on either cheek.

"No—no, Padfoot, tha's wet," Harry tried to push him away, but he was giggling too hard to make any difference. Sirius laughed at the scrunched look on his face but quickly got up before he could remember their circumstances again. The window of opportunity was small and he was determined to make the most of it.

"Alright, go on and have fun, alright? You have to be super duper observant because I want a full report when I pick you up. You get that, Prongslet?" he asked solemnly, looking down at his kid, who looked back at him with equal seriousness.

"Yes, Padfoot! Mawders 'onor," he raised a fist and Sirius bumped it dutifully, with all the gravitas demanded of him in the situation.

"Marauder's honor, my love."

And with one final wink, Sirius pushed him gently in the direction of the open door, watching him like a hawk until he was sitting in an empty seat near the back. Only when he was sure Harry had settled in—though he kept looking towards him—did he step back from the window and allow himself to slump against the wall with a rough exhale, out of sight of anyone in the classroom.

"First times are always tough," he heard a voice coming from his side.

He opened his eyes—when had he closed them?—to see the teacher, Katherine, standing next to him, looking at him sympathetically.

"Who would've thought, huh?" he replied tiredly.

"You did great, though, I must say," she continued, "Not everyone can just reassure their, uh—"

Sirius lips' quirked at her pause. Clearly she'd picked up on their…untraditional dynamics.

"Godson," he filled in after a second, "Although, this is something I wanted to talk to his teacher about, anyway, so I'm glad I caught you here."

"Oh?" Katherine prompted.

"Right, so Harry—that's Harry Potter, by the way—is my, uh—that is to say, I'm his primary guardian," Sirius stumbled, not quite used to explaining their situation to others. Most people who know, knew. And those who didn't—well, it wasn't worth getting into the whole thing so he usually preferred them drawing their own conclusions. That wasn't possible here, for obvious reasons.

"His parents—passed away a few years ago, and he's been…mine ever since. I—just thought you should be aware of that dynamic, since I've heard there's situations where it can come up. Like, uh, parents day?" he queried, trying to remember what he knew about Muggle primaries.

"Oh, I, uh, I'm so sorry to hear that, Mr…"

"Black. Sirius Black, I'm sorry, I'm getting this all backwards, aren't I?" Sirius introduced himself apologetically, about to run his fingers through his hair before he realised it was in a braid and that would be a monumentally bad idea.

"It's alright, I understand," Katherine smiled kindly, "It's a—weird time. But thank you for telling me. You're right, it would help. We do some activities with the kids, family drawings and storytelling and the like, where this would help us be more sensitive."

Sirius nodded, that's what he had been thinking, "I—You might have heard, but I didn't exactly go to a mu-uh, a primary school, so I'm not sure what the etiquette is."

"I did, though I wasn't sure how much of that was theatrics for Harry's benefits," Katherine grinned.

"Oh, most of it, Lily- that's his mum, really had to tell me and James-his dad- that the telly ran on electricity," Sirius winked before straightening up, "No, but really, this is all quite new for me, and I'm sure I'm more terrified than he is. He'll be right as rain in a couple days, making new friends and all. I, on the other hand, don't know what to do with myself now that the little rascal isn't gonna be running around the house half the day."

"I'm sure you'll be fine."

Sirius shrugged, he was sure he wouldn't be, but he also wasn't going to dump his woes on a virtual stranger, so he managed to pull together a smile for her, the real charming kind that worked on everyone from kids to elderly neighbors. Turns out, middle aged primary school teachers weren't immune to it, either.

"Well, I'll leave my kid in your capable hands then. Just…one more thing, if he asks for Padfoot, or Paddy—though he doesn't usually use that one—then that's me. It's a family nickname."

"Huh," Katherine frowned, confused-truly, he gets it-but quickly shook it off with another smile, "Of course, I'll keep an eye out. He seemed pretty, um, attached to you so I have to warn you, there might be some tears."

Sirius smiled wryly, "You can say clingy, it's fine. It's my fault, really, for encouraging it. Plus, I'm the same way so."

Katherine shrugged lightly, "It's heartwarming, really. A lot of parents don't show half the affection you did, and it's the kid who suffers for it. We see it all the time."

"Well, I'm glad my separation issues are good for something," Sirius joked, getting a laugh in return from the woman who probably didn't realise how serious he was.

He looked down at his watch, noticing with a wince he'd spent far too long in the building than anticipated, and turned back to Katherine, "I'm sure you have to take care of all the other children. Thank you so much for looking out for Harry, and I hope you have a good day. All those kids in there—must be a handful."

"That's half the fun," she replied with a shrug, "I'll see you for pick up?"

"I'll be here," he tipped an imaginary hat at her and waited until she'd returned to the class before high tailing it out of there.

It was well and good talking to her, but he really, really needed to get home before he broke down crying. No one wanted that.


Sirius waited outside the school, six hours after he'd dropped Harry off. He was—early, yes, but there was no way on Merlin's green earth he was even risking being late when his godson was getting out of his first day of school. Even the thought of it was ludicrous.

He checked his watch, foot twitching slightly, and mentally rejoiced when he saw that the gates would be opening anytime. He was standing right in front, so he could get in first without resistance, and he'd noticed a small queue forming behind him in the half hour he'd been there.

At exactly 3 on the dot, the guard nodded at him as he unlocked the gate and Sirius—did his best to walk, not run, to Harry's classroom. He reminded himself there was no rush—Harry had been here for the better part of seven hours, a few extra seconds wouldn't hurt anyone (except, perhaps, his dignity)—but he still ended up in front of the now-familiar door well before anyone else.

He bit his lip, wondering if he was meant to knock or if the door would open on its own, but before he could spend too long wondering—or Merlin forbid, barge right in like a mannerless oaf—the door cracked open, and he heard a "Look who's here, Harry!"

An automatic smile tugged on his lips at the name, and before he knew it, a familiar dark-headed blur headed in his direction and by Morgana, it felt like taking his first breath since he'd said goodbye to Harry that morning. He could literally feel his chest expanding as he bent down to pick up the speeding barrel of five year old that collided with him happily, the familiar ritual calming him down like nothing else.

"Siri!"

"Harry!" Sirius echoed, pressing quick kisses to his brow before pulling back to look at him. Green eyes bright and happy. Large smile. No obvious sign of tears. That was—good, right?

"Did you have a good day?" he asked, just to be sure.

"I did, I did! You were right, Siri!" Harry squealed, hands flying around in his excitement.

"Of course I was," he proclaimed, "You should've never doubted me, young Prongslet."

He tweaked Harry's nose as he said that, making him squeal again and ducking against his neck.

"But I missed'chuuuu," Harry whined. Sirius' heart melted but he was used to that, constantly existing in a state of human gloop around this kid.

"Me too, buddy, so much—"

"Mr. Black."

He turned towards the voice and smiled at Katherine, "Hello. I hope he didn't give you too much trouble?"

"No…m'good boy…" a tiny voice mumbled from his neck.

Katherine smiled, "Only a bit of a rough patch during lunch break, but that's normal. Kids are used to routine, and something new always trips them up."

"Oh, yes, we're used to sitting outside on our patio and eating," Sirius replied, running his hands over Harry's head, "It's one of our favourite times of the day, I'd say."

"Siri has the best stories," Harry piped up.

"Well, he was perfectly well behaved otherwise. I dare say he was one of the easier kids I've had on a first day."

Sirius smiled proudly, "Of course he is, my Harry's perfect, aren't you, baby?" He directed the last bit at his godson, who blushed and hid shyly in his neck again.

"Well, we'll see you tomorrow. Say bye to Miss Katherine, Harry," he tickled the boy until he giggled his way into a 'goodbye', waved to the woman himself, and walked out of the building with the familiar weight in his arms, feeling all was right in the world again.

Well, for the next 16 hours until the next day's drop off.

Goddammit.