Title: Miss Bingley's Herbal Tea

Setting: Regency

Rating: T

Chapters: 5/17 (PIP)

Blurb: Mr Darcy doesn't want to drink Miss Bingley's new disgusting, sketchy, ancient-super-secret-recipe herbal tea. Lizzy does instead.

I would be very happy if you could let me know about any spelling or grammar mistakes :) Thanks and enjoy the chapter!


As it turned out, the servants had not dropped dead, as Thomas the footman had dramatically proclaimed, but simply fainted during their lunch. Mr Jones had no explanation other than it had probably been caused by something in their meal.

"Mr Jones believes it to be a foodborne illness." Explained Mrs Hurst to the Misses Bennet a couple of hours after the discovery of the servants, once they had been brought back to their rooms and everyone's agitation had quieted. "Tomorrow we will start to examine the food to look for the exact cause. Until that moment, the entire pantry is to be considered tainted. Mr Hurst has gone to Meryton to buy new supplies, at least something for this evening."

While no one in the house suspected the true cause of the strange phenomenon, our readers would have certainly noticed the teapot sitting triumphantly in the middle of the servants' table. They would be correct in their suspicions: it was Miss Bingley's herbal tea.

Unbeknownst to the family, the Netherfield servants had taken the habit of reusing their masters' used tea leaves for their own tea. The butler in particular had been intrigued by the exotic new blend and eager to try it. The first brewing had luckily stripped the herbal tea of its aphrodisiac proprieties, but not of the fainting ones of which the servants had now reaped the consequences.

But Mr Jones knew nothing of this and had only ventured to say that the cause of Miss Elizabeth's fainting was probably the same as the servants'.

"It was very kind of your husband to brave the weather for us." Commented Jane. Out of the window, the rain was coming down in torrents.

Mrs Hurst snorted. "I assure you that it was no disinterested effort. He will also try to send an express to our physician, but I doubt he will find anyone willing to ride to London with this rain." She sighed. "In the meantime, Miss Elizabeth, it would be of great help for our search tomorrow if you could write down a list of everything you have eaten at breakfast, and perhaps yesterday evening too."

"Of course, I will do my best."

"Perhaps you could give it to me at dinner? If we are to have dinner, I mean — of course, we cannot have lunch at the moment. I'm mortified that this has happened while you are our guests, Miss Bennet, Miss Elizabeth. I can only apologize and hope everything will be solved as soon as possible."

The sisters assured her that no one in the house was at fault for what had happened — Jane more enthusiastically than Elizabeth, who wondered why it was not Miss Bingley speaking and apologizing to them.

Mrs Hurst left soon after and Elizabeth set about her task with pen and paper.

"I don't understand, Jane, what could have caused food poisoning? I have had the same breakfast as Mr Darcy and the others, yet I was the only one to faint, and I doubt that Miss Bingley supplies the servants' hall with the same pastries and biscuits."

"I was wondering about the same thing. Are you sure that you did not eat anything unusual?"

She quickly tried to recall everything that she had eaten that morning. "No, I don't think so. Maybe it was something in the flour or the eggs… Oh." Elizabeth hesitated. "Say, Jane—"

She was interrupted by a knock on the door. Jane gave Elizabeth a quizzical look and went to answer, closing the door behind her.

She came back after a few minutes. "It was Mr Darcy."

Elizabeth reddened and set aside her list. "Mr Darcy!"

"Yes, he came to inquire after your health. I told him you were better but still in need of rest. It was very kind of him to come. And after bringing you back this morning! We really owe him our gratitude." After those words, Jane went to embrace her sister. "Oh, Lizzy. I am so glad you are alright."

Elizabeth held Jane tightly, but her mind was racing trying to guess why Mr Darcy had come to look for her. She had said that she would go look for him as soon as she felt better. Why couldn't he wait? She was still tired!

That was not the entire truth. As much as her courage was always raised with every attempt to intimidate her, Elizabeth desired to avoid her confrontation with Mr Darcy for as long as possible. She still didn't know what to tell him and didn't even want to think about it.

Thus, Elizabeth's afternoon had been so far spent between chatting with Jane, dreading Mr Darcy and involuntarily reliving the… Accident.

She could not help herself. A sudden movement, a particular sound, the caress of the sheets on her skin, would remind her of it and she would find herself in the grounds with him again. And again, again, again. It was becoming a very pleasant nightmare.

If Jane had noticed how her sister's eyes kept wandering out of the window, she asked no questions about it.

Presently, Jane then withdrew from the hug. "You are feeling better, Lizzy, aren't you?"

"Yes, it doesn't seem like it but I'm feeling much better." Elizabeth laughed.

Jane smiled sadly. "I'm glad. I was terrified when they told me you had fainted. I'm so relieved to know that it is not something more serious."

"I, on the contrary, am still worried that your cold may develop into something very serious. You have been tending to me the whole day, Jane. How are you feeling?"

"I am perfectly fine, Lizzy. Would you like to eat something? I could ask for a tray to be sent up."

"Except but we can't. Mrs Hurst said there is not a crumb of edible food in this house. Oh, this reminds me…" She looked around for the list she had started to write. "Jane, do you think that I ought to include the tea?"

"The tea?"

"Miss Bingley had bought a new herbal tea blend and I drank two cups of it. She said that it came from an ancient Chinese recipe… Could it be it?"

"I do not know Lizzy. I don't think that herbal tea can cause foodborne ailments."

"And, I don't think that Miss Bingley would serve it in the servants' hall." She didn't, but as we have seen Netnerfield's servants were industrious folks. "You should have seen how she kept blustering about it to Mr Darcy." Elizabeth smirked. "I will add it to the list and then they shall do what they believe is better with the information. Now, what do you say we read a good book to try and ignore the pangs of hunger?"

Luckily for them, Mr Hurst returned triumphant from his trip to Meryton, bringing back enough food to feed a small army. The message for the London physician, instead, would have to wait until the next day.

Elizabeth was still too weak to leave her room (and she still dreaded facing Mr Darcy), so it was decided that she would eat upstairs. Jane was determined to stay with her the whole evening.

Elizabeth appreciated her sister's concern, but at the same time worried. Jane had been an indefatigable nurse and she needed a moment of leisure before she fell sick again. "Why don't you join the others after dinner?" She tried to persuade her. "And I will go to bed early. I know that you would really enjoy being in company after so many days spent in your room."

"Lizzy! I have already said that I will not leave you alone. And I could not ask for better company than yours."

Elizabeth raised her eyebrows, as she knew that she had been a terrible conversationalist all day. "You are a dear, but you know that's not true. If you will not do it for yourself, then do it for Mr Bingley. Think of how upset he must be after the events of the day. My sweet Jane, do not look at me like that. Save your blushes for him, and a smile or two too, if you please. The poor man! If only mama could have seen him fretting while you were sick. She would have already gone to London to order your trousseau."

"I am glad," said Jane between blushes, "that you can make some spirit, as it means that you feel better already. But I will not leave my sister alone for Mr Bingley's sake, which I very much doubt shall depend on my presence in any case."

"And I insist that Mr Bingley's sake rests entirely on your shoulders. But if you won't go downstairs for him or yourself, then you must go for me. Do it for all the times I had to go downstairs after dinner at your insistence and enjoy our hosts' company. Come, Jane, do it for your sickly sister."

Jane still protested.

"You could also use the occasion to bring Mrs Hurst her list and ask Mr Bingley to send for our carriage tomorrow morning, so we can go back to Longbourn."

"Lizzy, it's too soon for you to—"

"Mr Jones says that I am fine, you are fine, and I am sure that in the middle of this crisis Mrs Hurst would prefer having two fewer guests to worry about."

It took Elizabeth the whole dinnertime to persuade Jane to go downstairs but in the end, she succeeded in convincing her to go for at least a few minutes. Elizabeth was not concerned: she knew for a fact that if only someone asked Jane to stay for a quarter of an hour more, or a half an hour, or the rest of the evening, Jane would find it impossible to upset them.

With Jane gone, Elizabeth went to bed as she had promised, but found sleep impossible, her thoughts too unrelenting.

She could not avoid Mr Darcy for the rest of her life. Sooner or later, she would have to meet him downstairs.

He would probably ask for an explanation of her behaviour and what could she tell him? Elizabeth still did not understand what had really happened in the grounds. All of a sudden, she had felt warm and breathless, and then— Perhaps the accident had been the first symptom of indigestion. He had said something about not blaming her for what had happened when he had visited her room, but would he really believe that it had all been an unknown spoiled food's fault? Or would he believe it a clever excuse for her wanton behaviour?

He had been almost as wanton as herself, she thought with a blush.

This was such a strange matter! She tried to go back to the breakfast room and visualize the generous spread of food, the same one she had penned on her list. What could it be, what could it be?

Unable to answer, she tried to see herself leaving the breakfast room to visit Jane and then going downstairs again, putting on her gloves and bonnet, being stopped by— Mr and Mrs Hurst's voices.

They had been talking about… Something about a compromise… Of course, now she remembered: of Miss Bingley compromising Mr Darcy. How had she forgotten such an important piece of information?

Elizabeth half blushed and half laughed realizing that she had probably compromised Mr Darcy more than Miss Bingley would ever manage to. It was almost as if she had taken Miss Bingley's place in—

Oh. How strange. It was almost as if she had taken Miss Bingley's place in the compromise.

Completely awake now, Elizabeth raised to sit on the bed. They had only been in each other's presence for a few minutes but it was too strange a coincidence to only be a coincidence. She struggled to remember how Miss Bingley had behaved that morning.

Miss Bingley had been most insistent that Mr Darcy drink that herbal tea, the herbal tea of which Elizabeth had drank two full cups. She had never tasted such a herbal tea before, it had felt bizarre, almost as if it had arrived from another world. It had intoxicated her. Soon after, she had become… Perturbed.

Could it be that simple? Had Miss Bingley altered the tea with some substance to inebriate Mr Darcy, thus making compromising him easier? If her intuition was right, then it had been the tea to make her uninhibited, almost as gentlemen lost their propriety after one too many a glass of port after dinner.

Yes! It all made sense! And couldn't it possible that Mr Darcy had also drank the special herbal tea after Elizabeth had exited the room and he too had been under the influence during their… Their fiery encounter?

Mr Darcy was too haughty to kiss that way without an inducement. Especially not a woman that he had formerly declared 'tolerable' and 'not enough to tempt him'. To think that, for a moment, she had actually believed him attracted to her! Elizabeth laughed aloud. It had been the herbal tea. Yes, that made much more sense.

All of this happened because I drank tea and involuntarily got in the way of a compromise. It truly is not my fault.

Relief flooded her.

She would have to find a way to explain all of this to Mr Darcy the following day, possibly before joining the others for breakfast, when Miss Bingley would surely strike again.

But what if she tries sooner than tomorrow? What if she tries this evening or… tonight? What if she tries something less subtle than offering a cup of tea? Elizabeth felt all the awkwardness that only imagining Miss Bingley compromising Mr Darcy could bestow.

I must do something. It does not matter how much I detest Mr Darcy, no one should be forced to spend the rest of his life with Miss Bingley.

And then she felt uneasy for another reason. Did Miss Bingley know that they had drank the herbal tea? If she knew, then she could also deduce what had happened in the park and ruined her. She suddenly remembered the list she had sent to Mrs Hurst. Had she written about the herbal tea too? Or not? She couldn't remember. If Miss Bingley did not know yet, Mrs Hurst would surely deduce everything immediately!

Her uneasiness becoming terror, Elizabeth ran out of her bed and started to gather her clothes, determined to act and save herself. Someone knocked at the door. Jane had already come back to her? That was as endearing as it was inconvenient.

"Jane, did you hand over the list? Help me with this thing, I have to go downstairs."

"Miss Elizabeth. We must really talk."

It was not Jane's voice.

Elizabeth froze and instinctively went to tighten the belt of her dressing gown before she remembered that she was not even wearing one. She was alone, in her nightgown, with Mr Darcy on the threshold to her room. He did not seem eager to enter, though. He had opened the door just enough to let his voice in.

"We must." She finally answered. "Talk. But not here." Elizabeth cleared her voice trying to sound dignified. "Please, wait for me in… The library."

The door closed. She heard footsteps going away.

Elizabeth ran to lock herself in. Mr Darcy had sought her out! This was perfect! Now she would not have to go downstairs: she would talk to him in private about Miss Bingley's nefarious intentions and ask his help in recuperating the list. Full of nervous energy, she quickly readied herself and slipped out of her door.

In the library, Mr Darcy was waiting near a window. His jaw tightened in seeing her but he had no other reaction than a stiff bow. "Miss Bennet."

She curtseyed in response and entered the library, taking care of leaving the door open.

Elizabeth walked through the room and seated herself on an armchair near the hearth. She felt rather embarrassed. How was one to go about in such occasions? Mr Darcy, do you know why I kissed you passionately this morning? Because your hostess is trying to tie the knot around your throat!

But why was he silent? He had requested this meeting, so why wasn't he saying anything?

"Won't they miss you downstairs, Mr Darcy?"

"No, I have said that I have a headache. I hope you are feeling better."

She answered with civility and waited for him to say something more, but he got back to staring out of the window.

Was he waiting for her to thank him? Jane had said that she should thank him. "I must thank you, Mr Darcy, for bringing me back to the house. And, for coming up with… That story."

Mr Darcy turned around, stared at her for a few moments and then returned his gaze to the window without saying a word.

This was getting ridiculous. Jane would be back upstairs any moment now and here he was, saying nothing and wasting their time.

Well, if he had no intention of speaking, she would say her piece and then leave.

"You might be wondering, Mr Darcy, about the facts of this morning and about why exactly I—" Elizabeth paused, unsure of how to proceed. "That is, I have reflected back about it and have come to the conclusion that this has all happened because of Miss Bingley's herbal tea. You see—"

"I know." He interrupted her. "I know."

Elizabeth looked at him without understanding. Mr Darcy had now abandoned the window and was staring straight at her, with a gaze that could pierce her soul.

"But how…" Started Elizabeth, without knowing what to ask.

"This afternoon…" He stopped and shook his head.

Mr Darcy started walking about the room, passing a hand through his hair. Elizabeth was surprised, but said not a word. After a silence of several minutes he came towards her and, in an agitated manner, thus began:

"This afternoon… I drank it too."


Author's note

I've been reading "Jane Austen and food" by Maggie Lane, which is a fascinating book about how JA deals with food in her novels and there is a part where the author talks about how JA almost never describes her heroines eating because it's unladylike and the only characters who mention food do it because JA wants to show how vulgar they are vulgar.

And here I am writing a fanfic about a herbal tea... with aphrodisiac properties... lmao.

(and before you think "she even reads non-fiction books on the subject, what a dedicated writer" ask yourself "is she doing it to avoid actually writing?" because I absolutely am)