Title: Miss Bingley's Herbal Tea
Setting: Regency
Rating: T
Chapters: 9/17 (PIP)
Blurb: Mr Darcy doesn't want to drink Miss Bingley's new disgusting, sketchy, ancient-super-secret-recipe herbal tea. Lizzy does instead.
I would be very happy if you could let me know about any spelling or grammar mistakes :) Thanks and enjoy the chapter!
Every sensible gentlewoman knows that tea leaves should be kept under lock and key in a tea caddy and that too be locked in a cabinet, as tea leaves are very expensive and servants not to be trusted. Elizabeth had seen the Bingleys' tea caddy: a pompous rosewood box over-decorated by floral brass inlays. She also knew that it was stored in the drawing-room and that Miss Bingley kept the key in her pocket.
But there was no way of knowing if the herbal tea was stored with the regular tea or in a different, secret place and, in any case, they did not have the key. Because of these reasons, Elizabeth devised a different plan, the first step of which was for her to convince Jane to help before they went down to breakfast. That was no easy feat.
Being against all kinds of deception by nature, Jane firmly refused to participate in the scheme, especially since Elizabeth refused to reveal its purpose.
"Please, Jane. You only have to find some excuse to make Miss Bingley leave the room."
"I won't do it, Elizabeth. And you are still too weak, you shouldn't go down to breakfast."
"If we are to leave today, I will go downstairs in any case." Reasoned Elizabeth.
Jane blushed and hesitated. "Oh. Oh, we are not leaving today."
"Did you not ask Mr Bingley for the carriage yesterday?"
"Yes, but there is no carriage." Jane blushed even more. "That is, Mr Bingley said that we are welcome to stay until you are better… He sent a note to Longbourn this morning to explain the situation."
Elizabeth was astonished. A conspicuous part of the plan had been to bring the stolen herbal tea with her to Longbourn, where she would have had all the time to destroy it. Oh, Jane! What am I to do now? Will I have to hide that wretched thing under my pillow?
Jane misunderstood in some parts Elizabeth's silence and hurriedly explained: "Oh, Lizzy, I know that you wanted to leave today, but I had to accept his generous, generous offer. You are much too weak to be moved yet. Surely you recognize that."
Elizabeth recognized that. Her sleepless night had not helped with her recovery. And she could certainly appreciate another day to settle her thoughts about all that had happened without having to deal with her mother. Furthermore, Jane was asking it of her.
"Alright, Jane. You have convinced me. But you will have to get Miss Bingley to leave the breakfast room if you please."
"Lizzie…"
"I will explain everything when we are back at Longbourn. But please, just this once, trust me."
Jane watched her sister thoughtfully and at last nodded.
"Thank you." Elizabeth said, relieved. "Now, listen carefully."
Mr Lawrence, Meryton's main shopkeeper, had quite a scare seeing a well-known gentleman enter his shop in the early hours of the morning.
"Mr Darcy!"
Mr Darcy was wearing his riding habit and appeared to be even more forbidding than usual. He murmured a good morning, then seemed to regret it and cleared his voice.
"Do you sell the tea in use at Netherfield, Mr Lawrence?"
"Yes, we do, sir."
"It is an excellent tea. I would like half a pound of that. If possible. Thank you."
Mr Lawrence measured with shaky hands half a pound of his best tea feeling the gentleman's scrutiny upon him.
What was happening at Netherfield? Mr Hurst had emptied every shop in Meryton the day before with no explanation and now Mr Darcy wanted tea? Mr Lawrence was too intimidated to ask.
Certainly, a gentleman of Mr Darcy's means wouldn't want to speak to—
"This is a charming shop."
Mr Lawrence almost let the tea leaves fall on the floor. "Thank you, Mr Darcy." He gulped. "Shall I open an account for you, Mr Darcy?"
"No, thank you, I will pay now."
Thank God, he won't be coming back.
The gentleman seemed to hesitate before taking his parcel. He once again cleared his voice and asked: "Do you perchance also sell gloves and bonnets?"
"No, sir. You'll have to ask the milliner for that."
"Of course. How silly of me. Have a good day." And he left the shop.
Mr Lawrence was found by his son some minutes later, collapsed on the stool behind the counter. He was wiping sweat off his brow with a handkerchief, trying to recover from what had been the most intense ten minutes of his life.
.o0o.
Mr Darcy tipped his hat at some officers of his acquaintance before mounting on his horse and sprinting towards Netherfield.
Miss Bennet had asked him to go to the village early that morning to buy some tea leaves that they would later use to replace Miss Bingley's nefarious herbal tea.
Remembering his resolution to be a better man and never again show a selfish disdain for the feelings of others, Mr Darcy had tried to be more courteous towards the shopkeeper than usual. He felt that it had been a success. His manners and principles were already improving.
The outing had helped him to clear his mind, at least momentarily, from the recent struggles of his heart.
It would take some time for the pain to go away (if it was ever going to), but for now, it had subdued to a manageable level. He felt almost certain that he could bid Elizabeth goodbye with equanimity. He still hoped to leave her with a better opinion of him by acting in a courteous manner during their last interactions. It was the only thing he could do to feel less devastated.
Once back at Netherfield, Bingley met him on their way towards the breakfast room.
"Dear Lord, Darcy, what has happened to you?"
Mr Darcy's mouth twitched. "Nothing really, Bingley. Why do you ask?"
"Your eyes… Your countenance… You look like you have just been run over by a carriage."
"Thankfully, that has not been the case. I am perfectly fine, Bingley. And you are one to talk: you look exhausted."
Bingley touched his face. "I didn't sleep much last night. Too many things to think about." He shook his head.
Darcy nodded, realizing that the servants' fainting had been Bingley's first taste of his duties as master of an estate during a crisis. He felt a pang of guilt at the thought of leaving his friend when he most needed it but it had to be done.
"Could we talk for a moment?" Darcy asked. "I have something to tell you." They were now in the view of the breakfast room's door. Darcy gently steered Bingley away from it. There was no better way to put it, so he just said it. "I will leave Netherfield after breakfast."
Bingley's face fell. "But… Why? Have we done something to offend you? I know yesterday has been a trial, but—"
"Not at all. You have been the most gracious host. I just need to be back in London sooner than when we had planned."
"Surely I can convince you not to make such a hasty departure. Stay a couple more days at least, to prepare properly for your trip—"
"No, I must leave today. Pray, do not insist."
Bingley had seen that dark expression in Darcy's eyes only two times before: at his father's funeral and the day he had come back from Ramsgate the previous summer. Whatever had happened, Bingley knew it was not the time to ask questions but to only show him silent support.
"Very well." He said at last, sighing. "I will tell Mrs Nicholls to make the arrangements."
Mr Darcy seemed relieved. "Thank you. I would be glad if you did not mention this at breakfast. I would not want to bother anyone's morning."
"Other than ruining mine, you mean?"
Darcy offered a sorrowful smile.
"Ah, it is no matter. I will need to visit London soon anyway so I will see you there. And you will come back for the ball, won't you?"
"The ball? Then you are decided to host one?"
"Oh, yes, Jane— That is, Miss Bennet, uhm, we were discussing it yesterday evening and she said she likes to dance…" Bingley was blushing. "Do you think I'm cut to be a gentleman, Darcy?
Darcy frowned. "Of course you are, Bingley. What are you talking about?"
"After what happened yesterday, with Miss Elizabeth and the servants… And now giving a ball… I have no idea of how to give a ball. I don't know if I'm made for country life. All of this would never have happened at Pemberley."
Darcy was suddenly reminded of how young Bingley was. "It took me years to learn how to manage Pemberley on my own, it will be the same with you. Yesterday…" He hesitated. The day before had not been Bingley's fault and now, watching him wring his hands over the fact, he wished that he could tell him. But Darcy knew that Bingley would have insisted that he marry Elizabeth immediately and—
He closed his eyes as Elizabeth's seething words flashed through his mind and with that the pain that they had brought him. The least he could do for her was to prevent her from getting trapped in the forced marriage that she so much wanted to avoid. Which meant that Bingley could never know about what had happened under the old elm.
"This illness was out of your control, you couldn't have prevented it. But you were able to deal with the emergency successfully and to take care of both your family and estate. That is what a gentleman does. Give a ball if you want to give one. I'm certain that your sisters will help you and you can write to me if you need any advice, even if I'm not an expert, as you can imagine."
Bingley sighed, then smiled. He was still tired, but the glint in his eyes was back. "Thank you, Darcy. Ah, I'm sorry that you are leaving just now. Promise me you will consider coming back for the ball. You could also bring your sister. I know she is not out yet, but I don't think anybody would object if she stayed until supper."
Darcy felt himself waver. To see Elizabeth again… He felt a new jolt of pain. "I can not decide now, we will talk of it when the time comes."
That was more than Bingley had expected, so he patted Darcy's back and the two men entered the breakfast room.
When Elizabeth and Jane had entered the breakfast room, they had only found Miss Bingley, who explained that there would be no butler and footmen with them that day, as the servants were still too exhausted from the previous day's events.
Jane started an agreeable conversation with their hostess and Elizabeth, despite doing her best to act normally, all the while she fretted over Mr Darcy's absence.
Where was Mr Darcy? Had he decided to not help her anymore? No, no, that could not be, he would keep his word. What if he had not found tea in Meryton? What if he had already gone down to breakfast and Miss Bingley had already given him the herbal tea? They only had this occasion to retrieve the tea: the doctor from London would arrive to conduct the inspection that day!
But soon, he entered the room with Mr Bingley. Mr Bingley made the usual polite inquiries after everyone's health and quickly filled a plate with delicious baked goods, going to sit next to Jane. Mr Darcy lingered near the breakfast sideboard.
Elizabeth shot a rapid glance at him, hoping to go unnoticed. He was wearing his riding habits, which gave him a stunning look. She started at the thought and instead chose to focus on the fact that, since he had been out riding, he had probably gone to Meryton after all.
He seemed to be woolgathering. His expression was impenetrable but in his eyes, she could still recognize that hint of agony. She had been so… blunt, the night before. She wondered for the first time if she should apologize to him.
Elizabeth fiddled with her cutlery before finding the courage to join at the sideboard with the excuse of taking another toast.
"Do you have it?" She asked under her breath.
He started, then nodded without meeting her gaze.
"How are you?" She blurted out, surprising even herself.
He seemed taken aback and hesitated for a moment. "Less fatigued than yesterday, I thank you."
Elizabeth felt agitated. She had not meant to inquire after his physical wellbeing. Actually, she had not meant to inquire after him at all. Why had she done that? And was he truly better? But she could not ask him that. She nodded and made to retire, but was stopped by Mr Darcy's voice.
"What about you?"
"I am fine, thank you."
"And your sister?"
Elizabeth shot a glance at Jane and saw her engrossed in conversation with Mr and Miss Bingley. She smiled. "Fresh as a rose."
Elizabeth went back to her seat and was soon followed by Mr Darcy. He sat next to Miss Bingley, something that the lady had hoped for but not expected.
"Have you gone out riding this morning, Darcy?" Asked Bingley.
"Yes. Only to Meryton and back."
"I wish you would have told me. I could have given you my note for the Bennets as we had discussed yesterday."
"I'm sorry, Bingley. I left quite early and did not want to disturb you."
"Darcy doesn't keep the fashionable hours." Mr Bingley explained to Jane, but talking so that everyone in the room could hear him. "Not even when he is in Town. He has lived in the country far too long to not wake up at the crack of dawn. But do not worry, Miss Bennets, I already sent a boy to Longbourn."
Mr Darcy only smiled.
"Charles," said Miss Bingley, "you should take Mr Darcy's habits as an example. I am sure that waking up early is a key ingredient to successfully managing as fine an estate as Pemberley."
Mr Darcy made some sound of acknowledgement.
"Far from me hoping to make Netherfield as fine as Pemberley! I believe we have already debated the difficulty of the task, Caroline. But tell us, Darcy, how did you find the good people of Meryton?" Asked once again Mr Bingley.
"Ready to start the day."
It appeared that Mr Darcy was not quite willing to make conversation. Mr Bingley went back to talking with Jane and Elizabeth started to worry again.
In her plans, she had expected that Miss Bingley would bring up the subject of the tea first, offering it to Mr Darcy. But they had been sitting all together for a good ten minutes and she had made no mention of it. Perhaps she did not want to do it in front of her and Jane or her brother. But how to move from such an impasse?
After a series of furtive glances between Mr Darcy and Elizabeth, Mr Darcy cleared his voice and leaned toward Miss Bingley.
He murmured in her ear: "I was wondering, Miss Bingley, if you could tell me more about that herbal tea that I tasted yesterday."
Elizabeth shuddered. She had recognized the soft, intimate way in which he had spoken. He had used it with her at times but what with her had been a polite undercurrent, almost a suggestion, was now flavour. This was the voice of Mr Darcy the Seducer. She hoped that Mr Bingley could not hear him, or he would challenge Mr Darcy for dallying with his sister.
Miss Bingley instantly lightened up. "You liked it, then, Mr Darcy?" She asked in a similarly flirtatious, hushed tone.
"Yes, very much."
Dear Lord. Thought Elizabeth, blushing and almost letting her fork slip from her hand. Has he been a rake all this time and I never noticed?
"I will ask Mrs Nicholls to prepare it for you."
"No, no, I did not mean that." Mr Darcy hurried to stop her, then again modulated his voice. "That is, I meant to ask where you bought it. I was wondering if I could find some to bring with me at Pemberley."
"Oh. Of course."
Elizabeth saw Miss Bingley's thrilled face crumble to pieces and be replaced by terror.
"Then, where did you buy it? At Twinings, you said?" Urged her Mr Darcy.
"I can not say… That is, I am afraid I do not remember."
"Oh." He straightened up, his demeanour suddenly turned cold. "That is quite a disappointment. Georgiana loves trying new types of tea and I thought that it would be a nice surprise for her. But it is not to be, it seems."
"Why don't you look for the receipt, Caroline?" Interrupted them Mr Bingley, who had only caught the last part of the conversation.
"Dear Charles, I don't think we still have the receipt, unfortunately."
"Then could I see the leaves?" Suggested Mr Darcy. "I may be able to recognize them in some way."
"Oh, I don't think so— But of course, if you want to…" Mr Darcy smiled at her. She gritted her teeth and capitulated. "Please, follow me."
Elizabeth started to think of a way to stop her, but Mr Bingley intervened in her stead: "Oh, no, Caroline. Do bring it here. I am quite curious myself about this mysterious tea."
"Yes, of course." Miss Bingley left the room, clearly unhappy.
Darcy asked: "Do you know anything about that tea, Bingley?"
"Not at all. I swear, I didn't even know Caroline had a passion for unusual blends until yesterday! I would have never imagined that there was something like that in the house."
Elizabeth sighed in relief, happy that Bingley was not part of the scheme. But she was thrown again in a state of alert as Mrs Hurst made an unexpected entrance.
Mr Bingley and Mr Darcy stood to greet her.
"Good morning. Did I see Caroline leaving the room just now? She seemed in a hurry."
"Oh, yes. She has gone to take some tea leaves." Answered Bingley.
Mrs Hurst stopped. "Tea leaves."
"Exactly. Did you know that she has become a tea enthusiast?"
"I had no idea." She said with disinterest before sitting at the table.
Again, Mrs Hurst's presence was something that Darcy and Elizabeth had not planned for. Elizabeth tried to make Jane understand that she would have to distract Mrs Hurst too, but her sister was herself already too distracted by Mr Bingley's presence to be sensible to her efforts.
Miss Bingley came back with the tea caddy. "Louisa! What are you doing here?"
"I have come to break my fast, Caroline. Is that bizarre?"
Miss Bingley forced a smile on her face. "Not at all. Mr Darcy. Here are the tea leaves." She said with defiance, unlocking the tea caddy (the official tea caddy, not a different one) and giving it to the man. Elizabeth noted to herself that the key went swiftly back into a pocket of her gown.
Mrs Hurst's mouth twitched. After finding her sister looking everywhere for Mr Darcy the previous afternoon, she had been furious! — but not furious enough to force her sister to yield the leaves. No matter, no one would drink that tea on her watch.
"I see, Miss Bingley." Mr Darcy proceeded to carefully inspect the two divisions of the tea caddy. "And is it this one or this one?" He took a pinch of tea leaves, he watched it, he sniffed it and he put it back in its place. "No, I am afraid I am not that much of a tea leaves expert."
Elizabeth smiled. "Oh, Mr Darcy. I am sure that if you give yourself a little more time you could discover something." And then she proceeded to give a swift kick to Jane's foot.
"Caroline!" Cried Jane remembering her mission. "I need to talk to you about the wallpaper."
"The wallpaper? Whatever do you mean, dear Jane?"
"I am afraid I noticed a hole in the wallpaper in my room."
Miss Bingley raised from her chair, suddenly as serious as death. "Where?"
"I will gladly show you."
"I will come too, as I am the one who rented Netherfield." Cheerfully added Mr Bingley.
"Of course, Charles, let us go. Mr Darcy—"
He was still sniffing the tea leaves. "Don't worry for me, Miss Bingley. I will inspect the tea some more and put everything back how I found it."
"Capital. Now, dear Jane, my Chinese wallpaper."
Three out, one left. Thought Elizabeth as she watched them leave the room. How were they to work on Mrs Hurst? The woman kept eyeing Mr Darcy suspiciously. Did she fear that he would snatch the tea in his satchel? Well, that was their purpose, but…
They could wait for her to finish breakfast and leave. But what if Mr Hurst came to breakfast too? And what if Jane was unable to stall Miss Bingley? And Mr Darcy could not continue sniffing tea leaves much longer. Elizabeth knew that she needed to act.
"Mrs Hurst, would you care to join me on a walk?"
"A walk, Miss Elizabeth? But you fainted while strolling just yesterday."
"Oh, I'm sure I will have nothing to worry about if only you will go with me."
Mrs Hurst seemed to consider. It would be rude to refuse Miss Elizabeth, but how could she leave Mr Darcy alone with the tea? "I will gladly accompany you. Mr Darcy, won't you join us?"
"In a few minutes, as soon as I finish my breakfast."
"Well, do hurry. And do not ask for the tea to be brewed. It has not been examined yet, it could well be the cause to the illness."
Some strange emotion passed on Mr Darcy's face, which did not go unnoticed by Mrs Hurst. "I won't ask for the tea to be brewed, Mrs Hurst, I promise."
Mrs Hurst nodded. "Miss Eliza, shall we go?"
"Immediately." Elizabeth raised from her seat. "I was wondering, Mrs Hurst, if you could tell me more about the physician coming from London to examine the pantry. When will he arrive?" She asked while leading Mrs Hurst to the door.
"Well, he will…"
Her voice became indistinguishable as she left the room. Elizabeth turned her head and mouthed a "Now!" in Mr Darcy's direction before disappearing through the door as well.
The gentleman was now alone with the tea.
Upon first entering the breakfast room and seeing Elizabeth at the table, Mr Darcy's first thought had been an unhappy one. I am but a fool. How could I have ever told myself that the pain would be manageable?
Make his goodbyes with equanimity? Try to better her opinion of him by behaving gallantly? He could not even bear to be in the same room as her. He needed to complete the plan and leave Netherfield as quickly as possible.
He had been so perturbed by her presence, that he did not notice her approaching the sideboard until she was by her side.
She put a piece of toast on her plate and whispered: "Do you have it?"
What? Oh, she means the tea.
He nodded and went back to stare at the variety of baked goods.
But she startled him again: "How are you?" Her voice had been hesitant, uncertain. Why was she enquiring after his well-being? Oh, of course, because he had drank the herbal tea the day before. Still…
Mr Darcy said that he felt fine. "And you? And your sister?" He bumbled, in an attempt to keep her by his side a moment longer.
Elizabeth shot a glance at Miss Bennet and smiled softly, with that particularly fond and mischievous twitch of the lips that he would have renounced to Pemberley to have directed towards himself at least once.
"Fresh as a rose." She whispered like it was a secret between them before going back to her seat.
And he was lost to the world.
Mr Darcy frantically began to analyze their conversation, trying to understand what had happened, why she had come to talk to him. Didn't she hate him? Yes, of course she hated him, after all the things she had said the previous night he was a fool to even doubt it.
In his confusion, he could not focus on the conversation. They were talking of riding and fashionable hours. Probably. He wasn't sure.
Elizabeth tried to catch his attention. What did she want him to do? Oh, talk to Miss Bingley.
He cleared his voice and leaned towards her, feeling his heart pounding in his throat.
"I was wondering, Miss Bingley, if you could tell me more about that herbal tea that I tasted yesterday." He murmured with a voice that he wished Elizabeth could allow him to use with her.
Mr Darcy noted that the more he talked, the more Elizabeth became flushed and fidgeting. He made his tone even softer and she almost dropped her fork.
But he could not stop and reflect on that strange reaction, as the conversation progressed and he suddenly found himself sniffing tea leaves — which was even more disgusting than drinking tea — and finally, one by one, everybody left and he was alone.
"Now!" Elizabeth mouthed to him before exiting the room with Mrs Hurst.
Darcy took out of his pocket the parcel of tea that he had bought in Meryton that morning. The leaves looked perfectly similar to the herbal tea ones. If he switched them now, Miss Bingley would never suspect a thing.
But Elizabeth's reactions to him… She had inquired after his health and her countenance had not been one that he would expect from someone who loathed his person. Unless he was misunderstanding her again? No, she had never acted that way before.
Was there a possibility that Elizabeth could be persuaded to like him?
Mr Darcy was facing a simple choice: he could swap the tea leaves and leave Netherfield, never see her again, fail to forget her and finally succumb to Lady Catherine about marrying his cousin Anne or die alone. An unhappy life, but not so different from the one he had always envisioned for himself.
Or he could not swap the tea leaves.
He could stay at Netherfield, spend time with her under the guise of scheming another plan, while in truth he would work to convince her that he could be a better man or die trying, court her and make her love him. They would marry, he would gain a house full of not-so-proper-in-laws, Lady Catherine and the Ton would crow their disapproval, but would it really matter when he would be at Pemberley with Elizabeth and their children, and all those obnoxious people far, far away from their happiness?
But what if he was once again misunderstanding her, what if the future he was envisioning was another mirage? Would he be able to accept that and leave, after allowing himself to hope again?
Mr Darcy took his decision. He put each kind of tea leaves in its place, closed the tea caddy and left the room.
He found her in the hall.
She was putting on her sister's bonnet and gloves. Elizabeth saw him immediately but waited for him to get closer. After ascertaining that Mrs Hurst was observing her reflection in a window some steps away from them, she asked in a whisper: "Well, is it done?"
Before Mr Darcy could answer, they heard the sound of a carriage approaching the house.
"My word!" Exclaimed Mrs Hurst, now looking out of the window with greater attention. "Miss Elizabeth, isn't that your carriage?"
Elizabeth startled. "What? Our carriage?" And went to another window, followed by Mr Darcy.
Indeed, the Bennets' carriage was hastily making its way towards Netherfield.
"Have they come to take us off?" Elizabeth asked with a frown.
What? Thought Darcy. No, no, no, that can not be at all!
"Davies," Mrs Hurst addressed the butler, that had come running after seeing the carriage, "see that our new visitors are escorted to the drawing-room and their carriage and horses taken care of. Mr Darcy, Miss Elizabeth, please excuse me, I have to fetch my siblings."
And off she went while the butler ran out of the door to meet the vehicle, that in the meantime had stopped in front of the building.
Both the driver and Mr Davies were flabbergasted when Mrs Bennet jumped off the carriage without waiting for the butler's assistance.
Elizabeth herself was stunned by this and made a little jump, bumping into Mr Darcy's chest, who was standing directly behind her at a very improper distance. She turned around towards him.
"Pardon me." She mumbled while blushing.
"It is no matter." He assured her. Mr Darcy realized that his hands had unconsciously moved to her shoulders. She was not protesting, staring at him with coloured cheeks. "Miss Elizabeth—"
They jumped apart as the front door burst open and Mrs Bennet entered the hall with fury.
"Where is Mr Bingley, that scoundrel?!"
