Title: Miss Bingley's Herbal Tea

Setting: Regency

Rating: T

Chapters: 10/17 (PIP)

Blurb: Mr Darcy doesn't want to drink Miss Bingley's new disgusting, sketchy, ancient-super-secret-recipe herbal tea. Lizzy does instead.


I would be very happy if you could let me know about any spelling or grammar mistakes :) Thanks and enjoy the chapter!


Elizabeth remembered how, a mere two days before, her mother had been flattering and fawning over Mr Bingley almost to a mortifying level. Now, with increasing wonder, she watched as Mrs Bennet squared up the gentleman with such disgust in her eyes one would have thought she was contemplating a cockroach.

What had brought such a change in Mrs Bennet? Apparently, a note.

A note that had been delivered to the Bennets that morning. A brief note penned by Mr Bingley that described how Miss Elizabeth had fainted in the garden, all the servants fainted too, Mr Jones (scribbling indecipherable) and there was no food but they (blotted blotted) worry, Miss Bennet would have every comfort, remain some days more, till Tuesday? worn out by recent events, hope you are in good health, greetings, best regards &c.

Mrs and Mr Bennet had immediately sent for the carriage.

"We send you one daughter, Mr Bingley, and she falls ill." She started to roar, having conveniently forgotten that falling ill at Netherfield had been a result of her matrimonial schemes in the first place. "We send you a second daughter, and she faints. And your servants as well, apparently. And your ridiculous note offers no explanation! We demand an explanation, Mr Bingley."

Everyone was now in the drawing-room — that is, except Mr and Mrs Hurst, the wife having gone to wake up the husband. Mr Bingley had tried to sit down next to Jane but a thundering gaze from Mr Bennet had made him bolt to the other side of the room, where he now sat alone, looking uncomfortable in his own skin.

"Well, Mrs Bennet. I was not there when Miss Bennet fell ill. Or when Miss Elizabeth went to take a stroll."

Mrs Bennet rose to her feet, her voice getting even louder. "We send you our daughters, Mr Bingley! We put them under your care—"

Jane tried to intervene. "But we are fine, mama. Aren't we, Lizzy?"

This directed Mrs Bennet's attention to Elizabeth, which made her even more furious. "Lizzy. What are you doing here? Why are you not resting in bed? Why are you—"

"Now, now, dear. No need to take it out on the girls." Said Mr Bennet with indolence.

"You are right, Mr Bennet." She agreed with her husband. "Girls, go pack. We are leaving this instant."

Everyone protested loudly.

"Dears, do as your mother says." Intervened their father. "Take your silly hats and gloves and we shall go."

"Mrs Bennet." Interrupted then Mr Bingley, looking quite pale. "Mrs Bennet. I am plenty sorry for this unhappy situation, but I assure you that I would have done anything, anything at all to prevent all of this from happening. It was just not in my power. Why, I was ready to duel with Darcy for Miss Elizabeth's honour if he—"

"Mr Darcy? What has Mr Darcy to do with this?" Shrieked Mrs Bennet.

Mr Darcy found himself at the centre of attention. He cleared his voice "It was I that found Miss Elizabeth on the grounds. I escorted her back to Netherfield."

Mrs Bennet went pale — The grounds? – then her eyes become teary and she went to take the gentleman's hands in hers, giving them a gentle squeeze. "I thank you, Mr Darcy. I thank you."

Mr Darcy was too shocked to respond, but that didn't matter as Mrs Bennet's rage rose again. "And why was this not written in your note this morning, Mr Bingley?"

"I— did not write of that? I thought—"

"I will not have my brother insulted in his own house." Proclaimed Miss Bingley.

"I am perfectly capable of defending myself, Caroline." Hissed Mr Bingley.

Mrs Bennet interrupted them. "I am not blaming you for any of this, Miss Bingley, because you were busy managing this great house as perfectly as you always do. Otherwise, you too would be at fault."

Caroline, unsure whether she should take it as a compliment or as an insult considering how all the servants had fallen ill under her nose just the day before, stayed silent.

"Mrs Bennet," tried Mr Darcy, "Mr Bingley too was occupied with managing the emergency—"

"Oh, don't even try to defend your friend, Mr Darcy, for what do men do but go hunt and be at leisure?"

"Mrs Bennet!" That friend cried.

"It is of no use, Mr Bingley." She rose from her chair. "I will not leave my daughters where they are unsafe and unprotected. I will not make the same mistake twice. Miss Bingley, please escort me to their rooms and I shall see that their things are correctly packed. Mr Bingley, you are forbidden from visiting Longbourn ever again."

Miss Bingley and Mrs Bennet exited the room, followed by Jane, still trying to defend Mr Bingley. The men and Elizabeth stayed behind.

Elizabeth approached her father. "Papa, is it really necessary to go away?"

"Well, my dove. One trifling cold is something and one trifling cold and several swoons is something else. Mr Darcy." He called. "I thank you for bringing Elizabeth back. We will forever be in your debt."

"There is no need, Mr Bennet."

They shook hands with great solemnity under Elizabeth's exasperated yet amused gaze. Oh, if only you knew what really happened, you would not be shaking hands with him, papa.

Her father then turned to Mr Bingley. "I did approve of you once, young man. But now I don't know if I will ever approve of you again."

At those words, the last bit of colour left Mr Bingley's face and his lips started to tremble. Elizabeth felt sure that he would burst into tears but he instead sprinted out of the room, clamouring for Mrs Bennet.

"Mrs Bennet! Mrs Bennet!" He managed to stop the ladies. "Please. Miss Elizabeth is far too frail to be moved yet. And Miss Bennet could fall ill again. Let them stay at Netherfield one more night, at least."

At the insolent suggestion, Mrs Bennet felt her wrath raise again but Mr Bingley noticed it on time.

"Also, doctor Easton will arrive in the afternoon. I sent him a note this morning. He is one of the most famous physicians in all of London! Your daughters could be examined by him as well."

"Our Mr Jones is perfectly capable. If he says that they are fine then we don't need a pretentious physician from London."

"Of course! I meant no disrespect to Mr Jones!" Now he was scrambling. "But since he will be here… He was supposed to arrive today but— You would be welcome to stay too, of course. You and Mr Bennet. And all your other daughters!"

Miss Bingley gaped, but Mrs Bennet wrinkled her nose, suddenly interested. After giving way to her anger against Mr Bingley in the drawing-room, she felt quite better. The young man seemed penitent and sorry too. And she surely wished to be at the centre of what would become Meryton's talk for months to come. All the servants falling ill at once!

She could also use her time there to try and bribe Mrs Nicholls into giving her the recipe for her scones or guilt Mr Bingley into getting it for her.

The girls seemed to be fine and it was only one night, in the end. It was not like she was going to let that rake marry Jane after that.

"Very well, Mr Bingley. We accept your offer."

The matter was soon settled. Mr Bennet felt his presence for the night to be unnecessary but was convinced to stay for a tour of the house with his wife, during which Mr Bingley meant to display all his worth as a reliable gentleman and estate owner.

Jane and Elizabeth were urged to accompany them too, everyone momentarily forgetting their status as invalids. Mr Darcy went along hoping to speak with Elizabeth in private and despaired when she saw her taking her father's arm.

The tour started. Mrs Bennet and Jane were showered with attention by Mr Bingley while his sisters talked about the paintings and tapestry. Mr Darcy followed them all at some distance, waiting for the occasion to single out his beloved when in a stroke of luck he was called by Mr Bennet.

"Mr Darcy, Elizabeth. Will you tell me what exactly happened here yesterday?"

The two coloured, but Mr Bennet didn't seem to notice. They quickly explained the facts as they were publicly known, without any mentions of herbal teas, kisses and failed half-proposals.

"I will have to thank you again, Mr Darcy. When Mr Bingley wrote that Lizzie had fainted, I thought it must have happened in the rose garden." He smiled. "I should have known better: my Lizzie would have never been satisfied with a brief walk on a known path. But the old elm, so far away from the house… I cannot even think of what could have happened if you had not found her first."

Both men became grave. Elizabeth squeezed her father's arm: with all that had happened, she had never stopped to consider the danger she could have found herself in while being alone and unconscious in an open field.

"I am glad too that I found her first." Mr Darcy looked at Elizabeth, who turned her head to hide her confusion.

Mrs Bennet asked her husband to join her in admiring a very fine painting, leaving Elizabeth and Mr Darcy alone.

Elizabeth felt nervous. This additional night at Netherfield would be a hindrance to both her problems: hiding the herbal tea and her conflicting relationship with Mr Darcy. But at least the herbal tea had been retrieved… right?

"Did you succeed?" She whispered.

Mr Darcy shrugged. "I could not. The tea leaves looked too different."

"What?!" She exclaimed, making the others turn towards them. Elizabeth pretended to look intently out of a window and waited until she had control of herself before hissing: "Are you daft? How could you?"

She left the window and went to admire a hunting scene.

Darcy followed her. "Miss Bennet, it was not my fault. How could I have known that they would be of a different colour?"

Oh, the nerve of this man! "And what are we supposed to do, now? The physician from London will arrive any moment now. My mother is here. That was our only chance."

"I am sure we will find a solution. We could meet again in the library—"

Oh, no. Elizabeth shook her head. As her mother had said, she would not make the same mistake twice. "I will look for a solution alone, Mr Darcy. I thank you for your collaboration but I will not require any further assistance."

Mr Darcy stood in front of the hunting scene, stunned, as she rejoined her family.

What had just happened? Had she cut him? Now? Again? After everything, they had been through? Again?

His plan was backfiring on him spectacularly. Why was she so frustrating? He needed to spend time with her for his plan to work. In his defence, he had not known that Mrs Bennet and the doctor would enter the game so suddenly. But why had she reacted like that? He had decided to stay on a whim, believing that if there was even the smallest chance of changing his future, then he should stay and take it. Yet, on the first occasion, she had insulted him again.

"Darcy." Mr Bingley approached him with a worried face. "Darcy. I am sorry, in all this hustle I had forgotten that you are leaving today. What would you like me to do? Alert Mrs Nicholls?"

Mr Darcy didn't turn towards his friend, keeping his eyes firmly on Elizabeth's back. He was still supposed to leave in a few hours morning. Should he? Was there really hope or was he deluded? Should he end it there and leave?

What was I expecting? She detests me, he realized. This will take time. If I am not ready to be patient, all the while with the possibility of a new rejection looming over my head, then it would be better if I left now.

He looked at her. She was again at her father's arm, observing the bust of some ancient philosopher. He knew that she was still angry at him, but was hiding it well from the rest of her family.

Mr Darcy shook his head and focused on Bingley.

"No. I can stay another day."

Mr Bingley appeared infinitely relieved. "Truly? I am glad. Would you help me win back Mrs Bennet's trust? I need to show them that I can take care of Netherfield if I hope to—" Bingley stopped abruptly and blushed. His gaze flew towards Miss Jane Bennet, who stood inscrutable next to her mother.

Darcy suddenly realized that Bingley's infatuation for the oldest Bennet sister was not a simple infatuation anymore. He was surprised even more when the lady in question noticed Bingley looking at her and sent him a timid smile.

Darcy decided that he would do anything to save Bingley from suffering through the heartache he had experienced the previous night. "I will gladly help you, Bingley."

Bingley smiled and then pushed Darcy towards the others, ready to resume the tour. Darcy stayed quiet throughout most of it, stealing a glance at Elizabeth from time to time, while she stayed closely attached to her parents for the rest of the morning.

Rome was not built in a day. I shall do my best to remember that.

And with this thought, he started to make wooing plans for lunch.


Author's note

And that's why Mrs Bennet was furious! In the novel, Mrs Bennet didn't want her daughters to have anything to do with Mr Darcy after the "tolerable" comment so I feel like it wouldn't be a stretch of the imagination for her not to approve of Bingley anymore after the servants fainting etc. I mean, we know that it's not his fault but.

In other news, this concerns no one but me but I have realized that one of the next chapters is way too long (6.000 words!) so I am considering splitting it into 2 chapters but can't find the right point! I mean, there is one perfect point but then the beginning of the second chapter would be a bit weak... I may have to split a conversation but that wasn't written to be split so aaaaaaah don't mind me I don't even know why I'm writing about it here. See ya next week