Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto and not me.

A/N:

RJ: Mwaha, the most awesome chapter eva!

Sora: You spelled 'Mwaha' wrong... it's 'Mwuahahaha'.



Chapter 6: Not once is the word glomp said here

Tenten paused as she ran in front of the Laundromat. Neji flopped off of her shoulder onto a heap on the ground.

"Gai-sensei!" Tenten entered the shop.

"Tenten! My excellent student! How wonderful for you to pass by and watch our Youthful Challenge!" Gai waved enthusiastically, shovelling more clothes into the washing machine.

The girl went pale white as she saw what her teacher was putting into the washing machine next. "Are those... are those my underpants?" she squeaked.

Gai held up a something white. Kakashi became distracted and looked up, clothespin on his nose. Asuma and Kurenai had disappeared somewhere together before Tenten had walked in.

"Yosh! Why, yes they are!" remarked Gai, placing them into the washing machine and closing the front door of it. The machine creaked uneasily, making Tenten step back nervously.

"Uh, Gai-sensei... it, um we'll talk about this later..." Tenten edged out the door and grabbed Neji by the feet. Suddenly she vanished down the street.

Kakashi eyed the washing machine. It creaked in a strained way. "Gai-kun... I need to step outside for a while and find a bathroom."

"But you're losing the challenge Eternal Rival!" Gai grinned. He pulled out a coin and placed it into the washing machine. The machine started to groan noisily as it started up.

Kakashi suddenly vanished into thin air as well.


Somewhere close by...

"Tenten, my poor team-mate! Where has that horrible pirate taken you?" cried Lee as he ran up and down the streets. Crowds screamed and scattered like Moses parting the Red Sea as Lee streaked past in the nude.

Needless to say, half of Konohagakure needed intense therapy and memory suppression afterward.

"Tenten!" yelled Lee, screaming like a hero who lost his best friend.

There was a loud explosion down the street and from the sky fell articles of clothing. Something white fell on Lee's face as he screamed up at the sky.

"Huh? What's this?" asked Lee, pulling the object off of his face.

It was a pair of white panties.

Lee blinked, mouth gaping and eyes beginning to sparkle. However, before he could say any more a piece of washing machine flew down from above and smacked him in the face, knocking him unconscious.

"It was probably for the best," muttered the lollypop lady, lowering her stop sign (she had just been about to whack Lee over the head herself). She wrapped Lee up in a sheet that conveniently fluttered down and dragged him towards the Hokage's office.


In a galaxy far, far away... or at least somewhere on the road to Konohagakure...

"My feet are killing me!" groaned Sasori loudly.

"You're a puppet, Sasori... you don't feel anything, unlike us," replied Itachi grumpily. "Is there someplace we can rest?" he asked, scratching his neck sorely.

Deidara pointed ahead to a large building whilst looking down and squinting at a crumpled and dirty map inside a see-through zip-lock bag (don't ask people, don't ask). "There should be places to rest inside that building, hmm."

The Akatsuki members made their way towards the building. As they went, they semi-noticed a group of girls dressed up in matching maid outfits and wearing animal ears. They also passed a man with a blue suit on with a large clothed cross-shape next to him. He tapped a cigarette and raised an eyebrow at the group.

"Nice costumes," he commented before picking up his cross like it was made of Styrofoam and walking off.

Tobi whimpered slightly. "Tobi's Tobi-senses are tingling!"

"Quiet, Tobi." ordered Zetsu. The last time Tobi had said his 'Tobi-senses' were tingling he had to go to the bathroom after eating the map... and that hadn't exactly been the highlight of the day for the Akatsuki.

The group swung open the doors of the building and entered. They were met with a very curious scene- hundreds of people in strange outfits like outside running around to booths, taking photos, and staring up at television screens that blared music and bright colours. The Akatsuki looked around confusedly.

"ITACHI-KUN!" screamed a multitude of voices at once.

Itachi stood no chance as a hoard of squealing females leapt onto him.

"Gah! Shniizzigle!" came muffled cries from someone under the pile.

"I got his pants!" screamed one girl.

"I got his headband!" screamed another.

"I got his bra!" screamed yet another.

"Uh..." The other Akatsuki members all exchanged glances and edged away from the mountain of moving fangirl-affection. As of turning around, however, they were faced with the unthinkable... even more fangirls.

"Deidara-chan!"

"Chan, hmm? Chan, hmm! Noooo!"

"Sasori-kun!"

"Hey, get back here with my arm!"

"Zetsu-kun!"

"Stop pulling at that! It's not supposed to come off!"

Kisame closed his eyes and opened his arms. Any second a wave of fangirls would pounce him sending praises his way.

After waiting and receiving nothing he opened his eyes. A small nerd in glasses raised an eyebrow at him.

"I give you 2 out of 10 for effort," he said. "But that skin tone is way off- fakest thing ever." He moved off, carefully sidestepping the other piles of fan-worship that lay about.

"Aww, Tobi is such a good boy!" squealed a couple of girls, patting Tobi on head and hugging him.

Kisame's bottom lip quivered. "Even Tobi got fangirls... Nobody loves me!"

"Hey, awesome costume." said a voice behind Kisame.

The shark-man turned around... only to be faced with... himself!

"Uh, oh, hey... wha?" blabbered Kisame, wondering if Itachi had put a genjutsu on him.

The shorter Kisame giggled. "I said nice costume." The other Kisame battered their long eyelids. "I was afraid I'd be the only Kisame cosplayer here. I know it's funny for a girl to be cosplaying someone like him, but I think he's so adorable."

"Uh... girl?" Kisame's eyes wandered down. He blushed and looked back up.

"Is there something wrong with that?" asked the female Kisame, pouting.

"Oh, no! Of course not!" Kisame waved his hands madly. "You look just like me! Just that you're a girl an' all..."

"Oh, well thank you!" smiled the female Kisame. "You know, your costume is really accurate! You must have spent hours on it!"

Kisame scratched his neck, still blushing. "Uh, um, yeah! Hours!"

"Well, it's really good." She started to walk away, though before she did she looked over her shoulder and winked. "See ya later, cutie."

Kisame waved dopily with a love-struck goofy face as she left.

"Kisame, you imbecile! Save me from this hoard of banshees!" screamed Itachi, attempting to claw his way out of the pile.

"My legs! Somebody stole my legs!" cried Sasori, naught but a torso and head on the ground.

"Stop that! I'm a guy! A guy!" yelled Deidara, slowing inching up a pole to get away from a hoard of arguing fangirls (and guys) below.

Muffled yells came from Zetsu as he hid inside his venus fly trap. A trio of girls were standing next to him.

"He's ignoring us!" said the one with bunny ears and dice on her head.

"This guy is so boring, nyo!" yawned a girl with green hair and a cat-eared hat on.

"Very boring, nyu," agreed the smallest, with brown hair and a yellow and brown-striped hat.

Tobi was sitting across from a girl with long ivory hair and strange plastic ears. They both stared at each other curiously.

"Chii...?"

"Tobi!"

"Chii...?"

"Tobi!"


Somewhere on the road heading away from Konohagakure...

"How long until we get to Orochimaru's "secret" lair?" asked Naruto, feet dragging along as he walked beside the cart.

"Hm, not too long now." replied Sakura. "Maybe an hour."

"Great, only one more hour until we're all killed!" moaned Kiba. He pulled a gnarled old bone out of his jacket and chewed on it- a nervous habit of his.

"Hey, maybe it won't be that bad," Sakura had an equally worried face though.

"We'll be killed and then that creepy Kabuto will turn us into lab experiments!" cried Naruto, flinging his arms up. "I bet you he's trying to turn people into zombies!"

"Zombies? I love zombies!" said Shino suddenly. Everyone looked at him, glaring. Shino quietened back down. "This is why I don't speak much..." he muttered.

Sai chuckled as he quickly sketched a comic of Naruto and Sakura being munched on by zombies.

"Eep!" squeaked something.

"What was that?" asked Naruto, spinning around with a kunai in hand.

"Just Hinata fainting again..." replied Sakura, sighing.

"Why does she keep doing that?" Naruto raised an eyebrow at the fainted form of Hinata.

"Oh, I wonder, Naruto... I wonder..." Sakura rolled her eyes. The sooner they got to Orochimaru's to be killed, the better. She didn't want to have to endure another full trip back with these morons.



A/N:

Kita: Kill me, kill me now...

Yanagi: Aw, I wish I was at the anime convention... I wonder how much Itachi's pants would sell for on EBay?

RJ: Not once is the word 'zombie' said in Night of the Living Dead either! .

Hope you had fun! Leave a review!