AN: We got fanart! It's called "Meili in the Mist," and it's made by quimser (qmzr on fanfiction/AO3. Check out their story, "Not So Faded Scars"). Here's the link, or at least, what fanfiction is allowing me to post.
reddit r/Re_Zero/comments/lgauue/oc_meili_in_the_mist_fanart_for_restart/

Special thanks to my fiancé for helping me walk when I can't stand and for never letting me be lonely.

Chapter 24 – Meili

The lush forest bordering Arlam Village was a wonderful place. The trees were greener than a Vollachian rainforest, the streams were purer than a Gustekan glacier, and the air felt like it was blessed by the Great Spirit of Wind.

Meili Portroute, however, loved it for an entirely different reason.

By a lightly trickling river, the young girl with purple hair and olive-green eyes was playing in the dirt with her puppy. Meili had lots of puppies, of course, but this one was her favorite.

"You're such a cuuutie, Wol-Wol," Meili cooed. The Wolgarm's eyes, glowing red with the power of a thousand curses, barked with joy under Meili's tender ministrations.

She looked sadly at the softly glowing crystals that lined the trees. "I wish I could bring you to meet my friends. Petra would love you." An idea popped into her head as she chirped, "Maybe I can bring her in here! Would you like that, Wol-Wol?"

The Wolgarm panted at the thought of a fresh meal, causing Meili to giggle. "No eating my friends," she chastised. Then, with a frown, she amended, "Well, unless Mama says you have to."

Meili would be sad, but she knew what happened to those who disobeyed Mama.

A bit later, the Wolgarm trotted away, leaving Meili all by herself. She let her smile fall as she felt the cold seep in, numbing her very soul. Then, she felt the slightest bit of warmth as a distant yet familiar voice called out, "Meili! Where are you?"

Meili's eyes lit up as she shouted back, "Over here, Petra!"

Petra Leyte was Meili's friend. At least, Meili thought they were friends. She hadn't had a friend before, but that's how Petra introduced the two of them to the other children.

So, friends they were.

Her reddish-brown hair swaying gently in the breeze, Petra burst through the trees with a smile before wrinkling her nose in distaste. Squeezing her nose to block out the smell, she asked, "Why are you all the way out here?"

"I live here," Meili answered with a smile, seeing no issue. "Isn't it neat?"

Horrified, Petra dragged her cyan eyes over the rectangle of dirt covered with leaves – she really hoped that wasn't meant for sleeping – and the massive pile of what appeared to be multi-species excrement. In lieu of answering Meili's question, she said, "I was going to invite you over to play, but I didn't know where you lived. Lucas said he saw you go in the forest, but I never…"

She trailed off before adopting a stern expression and scolding, "This isn't the kind of place a young lady should be living! Why aren't you with your parents?"

"Don't have any," Meili said flippantly. She didn't like to think of those people. "I was raised by looots of puppies and kittens."

Tears formed in Petra's eyes, so Meili reassured her, "Don't worry, I also have my big sister! But she's on a mission, so I'm aaall alone for a few weeks."

"A few weeks?" Petra asked incredulously. Scrunching her face up in determination, she declared, "That's it! You're coming to live with me, missy!"

Meili cocked her head in thought. Leaving the forest to have a sleepover with Petra… That sounded nice. Her puppies would be fine, right? She supposed they could always eat each other if they got hungry, and Petra was fun to play with…

…but would Mama be mad if she knew?

"Never forget where your love belongs," Mama would whisper while her hands –

Well, Meili knew not to disobey Mama.

And yet… the pleading look in Petra's eyes…

Well, so long as Meili didn't leave the village, everything would be fine. She wasn't disobeying any orders.

With a disarming smile, Meili announced that she'd love to stay with Petra. Then, her eyes widened with hope as she asked, "Can I try sleeping in a bed? I've always wanted a bed!"

Petra plastered a smile on her face. "Sure!" she said through her teeth, vowing that Meili would never again sleep on the ground.

Completely unaware of her friend's righteous fury, Meili excitedly scrambled to gather her possessions. Mumbling to herself, she listed off: "Let's see here… I got the pair of gloves I found, my favorite stick, the cape I wear while murdering the innocent…"

"What –"

"…my hair tie from that one garbage pile, and my communication mirror." With that, she smiled at her friend and walked towards the village.

Petra shook her head to clear it and jogged up to Meili's side. She was probably just hearing things.

Petra's house wasn't particularly special; a simple, brown-painted abode, just like most other homes in Arlam Village. The difference was that it was cold even in the summer months.

It had been that way for three years.

Meili, however, noticed something else: the strangest sense of welcome. It's like they accepted her.

But that was nonsense. She belonged in the forest with her pets, doing Mama's bidding whenever she was called upon. She hated killing. She hated the blood. She hated the glassy, empty eyes. She hated it, but she was a killer. That was all she could ever be.

Still, she could pretend to be normal for a few days.

Petra's mother, Leah Leyte, had reddish-brown hair – just like her daughter's – but her hazel eyes were sad instead of hopeful. Her father, Joseph, shared his daughter's cyan eyes, but they were filled with determination, for he would push forward despite his grief. Those eyes, so often drooping in pain, lit up a bit when the two came in.

'You can tell a lot about a person through their eyes,' Petra mused. Her sister taught her that.

Shaking her head rapidly to clear it, Petra feigned a smile and introduced Meili to her parents. "She doesn't have a home," Petra explained afterward. "Can she stay with us for a couple of weeks until she meets up with her sister?"

They had a spare room, after all.

A silent conversation passed between her parents. At length, her father slowly said, "I suppose one more mouth to feed is acceptable. I'm sure the rest of the village can help out, too." Turning to Meili, he asked, "Where were you living before this?"

With a smile, Meili responded, "In the forest with my puppies, of course. Lots of puppies and kittens and lions and bears… Aren't mabeasts the cuuutest?"

Of course, she completely ignored the Leyte family's gazes of abject horror.

Sometime later, she found herself in a bed stuffed with wool. "This is increeedible," she murmured, sinking into the softness. "First a bath, now a bed? It's a great day for firsts!"

Petra couldn't bring herself to respond. No bath or bed… Just what had her friend been through?

Looking back on it, she should have known that something was wrong. Meili appeared randomly in the village, but no one knew where she came from or where she stayed. She mentioned a big sister, but no one ever saw the woman.

Petra should have invited her sooner.

Directing her thoughts away from that, she said, "It's a comfy bed, right?" At Meili's nod, she elaborated, "It belongs to my sister."

Confused, Meili asked, "Then why isn't she using it?"

Petra looked away, lowering her voice. "Because she's missing."

Not dead; just missing. She always was more optimistic than her parents.

Meili flashed a confident grin. "She'll come back soon; I know it!"

The purple-haired girl stopped short, utterly confused. That's not what Elsa would have done. Elsa would have commented on how the girl likely had a gruesome death or was enslaved. She wouldn't have reassured Petra. Meili was failing as a mimic, a toy, a blank slate, a –

Unaware of Meili's inner turmoil, Petra gave a shaky smile. "The knights themselves weren't able to find her," she admitted.

Meili shook her head to clear it and held onto the pillow, marveling at the softness. "That's because they're knights," she said airily. "They'll scream like a baby if they see a puppy."

Petra wondered if they were thinking of the same knights… or the same puppies.

The following two weeks were idyllic, to say the least. Leah and Joseph had offered for Meili to stay for as long as she wanted. They were charmed by the energetic girl, even if she sometimes said some strange things. Petra was just happy that she had another friend.

Meili, on the other hand, never knew what she was missing out on until she lived in an actual home. Sure, she'd stayed in a few abandoned warehouses while on missions with Elsa, but moth-eaten chairs were nothing compared to a proper bed.

She wasn't entirely sure why Mama placed her in Arlam Village – she guessed it was because of her Gospel – but she really hoped that she wouldn't have to kill her friends. That would make her sad.

Then again, orders were orders, and Mama didn't like it when people disobeyed her. Meili had the scars to prove it.

A week after arriving, Leah walked into the kitchen to find Meili surrounded by dozens of pots, pans, and plates, cooking up what appeared to be a casserole of some kind. The young girl was a furious whirlwind, tossing ingredients into the mix with expert precision. Leah was under the impression that Meili had lived in the forest and would have no experience cooking, yet here she was, displaying years of mastery.

Then, it happened: a single mistake. She added in a pinch of rosemary, which clashed horribly with the ginger.

It was the exact same mistake that Leah had made the night before, and it was at the same step, too. Meili had even matched Leah's expression, sticking her tongue out between her teeth in distaste as she discovered her error. She quickly grabbed a cloth and patted down the broccoli heads, trying to take off as much of the invasive seasoning as possible. Placing her hands on her hips and nodding to herself in self-satisfaction, she continued in the exact same manner as Leah had.

Befuddled and unsure of the proper response, Leah asked, "What are you doing?"

Completely unfazed – none of them had ever managed to sneak up on Meili – the girl continued cutting vegetables as she declared, "I'm making dinner."

"Yes, but…" Leah struggled with herself before asking, "…why?"

Meili blinked and looked down at her hands with a fake smile. Why was she making dinner? She didn't even like last night's casserole. She was simply copying someone older and wiser – the only thing she knew how to do.

Why couldn't she make choices for herself? If she kept this up, she'd become a boring toy. She would need to be more subtle with her imitations if she –

Suddenly, she stiffened. Leah had sidled up next to her and began cutting up onions, lightly saying, "You know, it'd be silly of me to let a child handle such a sharp knife on her own. Why don't you ground up some nutmeg, instead?"

Leah shoved the spice into Meili's unsuspecting hands, and she blinked down at it owlishly. Sharp knives were her bread and butter, but this? What was she supposed to do with this… thing?

Suddenly, a memory flashed before her mind's eye. Elsa had sauntered towards her prey with a coy smile, unwilling to let the trembling, pathetic man before her perish so easily.

"Oh, my," she had murmured as she stood beside his prone form. "That's no good; I prefer it when men beg for their lives."

The man had whimpered in fear but said nothing. Shaking her head with a sigh, Elsa had turned to her left and locked eyes with an eight-year-old girl. "Meili, dear, it's time for your next lesson: how to ground up bones."

Meili had never seen the appeal of torture, but she was now grateful for Elsa's teachings. Dropping the nutmeg to the floor, she raised her heel high and repeatedly smashed it downward, turning the spice into dust. She adjusted her smile as she admired a job well done.

Then, from behind her, she heard a small, "Well… I can't say I expected that."

Meili stiffened yet again as she recognized the shock, the disappointment in Leah's voice. She did something wrong, didn't she? This may not have been Mama, but it was someone's Mama, right? She wasn't as loving as Meili's Mama, and Petra didn't seem scared, but what if –

"Not a nutmeg girl, I take it," Leah said with a shrug. "Next time, just let me know, all right?

With that, she continued cooking, gently instructing Meili along the way. In a daze, Meili obediently complied, barely managing to maintain her mask. After all, it was hard to keep her eyes dry when Leah was cutting onions.

Two weeks after Meili's initial arrival, Petra was marveling over Meili's braid. "How do you do it so cleanly?" she asked in awe. "I used to try doing my sister's hair, but it always got knotted."

With a smile, Meili said, "Elsa taught me!"

"That's your big sister, right?"

She nodded before plainly saying, "She raised me." The past was the past, and nothing more needed to be said about it. Changing the subject, she asked, "What about your sister?"

Petra's eyes drooped ever-so-slightly as she asked, "What about her?"

With a shrug, Meili said, "Everything."

Petra blinked before letting out a giggle at the Meili-esque response. "Her name is Rebecca," she answered at length. "She was like a second mother and a best friend all in one. I miss her."

"That's just like Elsa!" Meili tried to reply but couldn't. She didn't know why. After all, Elsa was…

Elsa was none of those things. Assassins like Meili didn't deserve anyone, but she was selfish and took them anyway.

She was driven out of her thoughts when Petra somberly continued, "We were in Priestella a few years ago. Rebecca was right beside us, and a moment later, she was gone." Her voice lowered further. "No one had seen her go. We stayed an extra month looking for her, but she was nowhere to be found."

Priestella… That's the one with all the water, right? Meili hadn't done any jobs there, so she couldn't have killed Petra's sister. It was nice to know there was a chance they'd be reunited.

Then again, Priestella was one of Elsa's favorite hunting spots, so who knew?

"We go there three times a year to look for her," Petra said distantly, oblivious to Meili's musings. "My parents won't say it, but it's obvious they're just doing it for me."

Meili thought for a moment before lighting up with an idea. "We could go together!" she said excitedly. "My puppies are suuuper good at finding prey, so I'm sure we could find your sister!"

Petra's eyes widened. "You really mean it?" she breathed, ignoring the "prey" comment. She was somewhat used to Meili's strange mannerisms by now.

Meili nodded furiously. "We'll leave tomorrow morning," she declared. "So, pack looots of snacks, all right?"

With a grin, Petra left the room to ask her mother if she could go to Priestella. As expected, she was instantly shot down, but she did get a promise that they would all go together in a few weeks. Feeling better than she had in a long time, Petra went to tell Meili the good news…

…only to find an empty room.

As she anxiously searched the house for Meili, Petra couldn't help but feel like she lost another sister.

Unbeknownst to the others, Meili was dashing away from the house, running as fast as her short legs could carry her. Her communication mirror had become unbearably warm, which could only mean one thing:

Mama was calling her.

Meili didn't know what was coming, but as always, she was dreading her orders.

Come to think of it, Elsa might be back and waiting for her. Would Mama be mad that Elsa was giving attention to Meili and not her? Was Mama angry that Meili was living in the village, instead of near it? Maybe Meili was being called because she somehow violated the Gospel.

Perhaps Mama wanted some entertainment.

She shivered, but it wasn't from the chill of the night; the memories of Mama's torture were more than enough to freeze her heart solid.

"That's a good girl," Mama had purred, but Meili had heard it from a hundred pairs of ears. "You won't defy this lovely lady again, will you?"

She hadn't been capable of responding, but her feelings were clear. She didn't want her consciousness split again. She didn't want to be torn apart and pieced back together. She didn't want to be turned into rabbits or snakes or rats or flies or dead balls of flesh. She just wanted to be Meili, even if she didn't know who that was.

With a sinking feeling deep within her belly, she realized that she should have said goodbye to Petra before she left.

Without a sound, a slender figure dropped down from the trees. Coated in shadows, she brandished a silver knife and lunged towards Meili.

Thinking quickly, the young girl backed away from the slice and kicked off a nearby tree, flipping over the assailant and landing on their back. With a beastly growl, she bit down on the assailant's neck, tearing through the spinal cord.

The assailant halted but did not fall.

"Oh, my," came a silky voice. "It seems you managed to get me this time."

Meili huffed. "That's only cause you let meee," she grumbled. "I wish I was as strong as you, Elsa!"

Meili referred to Elsa as her sister, but that title was a placeholder; she had no idea what the dark-haired woman was. They were not friends, for Elsa had no friends. They were not accomplices, for they worked alone. They were not confidants, for trust was not in their vocabulary. They were not family, for they could only love Mama.

However, they had no one else, so they were sisters.

Like a mother cat to her kitten, Elsa picked Meili up by the nape of her neck and gently set her on the ground. "You'll get there," the dark-haired woman said with her ever-present smile. "I bet that someday, you'll even be able to kill me."

Instinctively, Meili matched that coquettish grin. "Strong enough to kill Elsa?" she whispered in awe. "I can't wait to do that!"

Elsa giggled, assuring the child, "Don't worry; on that fateful day, we'll have a fight that will go down in history."

Elsa versus Meili. Blades versus mabeasts. The Bowel Hunter versus the Beast Tamer. What a legendary showdown that would be…

But that was in the future. First, they needed to survive today.

A lithe figure sauntered out of the depths of the forest. Despite the crowded path, she moved with ease; it was as if the trees themselves shied away from her presence.

Blonde hair, like golden rays of sunlight. Ruby eyes, to make a jeweler drool. A figure to tempt the staunchest of soldiers. A being that terrified everyone unlucky enough to meet her.

The Sin Archbishop of Lust, Capella Emerada Lugunica.

Falling to their knees and bowing their heads, Elsa and Meili spoke in tandem. "Greetings, Mama."

There was no need for their usual light-hearted, sing-song demeanor. That showed happiness, and happiness begets love, and love should only be given to Mama.

Mama happily sighed at the adoration being thrust upon her. "Impeccable timing, as always," she said lightly. "And Elsa is here, too, having given a fascinating report. This lovely lady is satisfied with both of your performances."

At her mercy, they could do nothing but murmur, "Thank you, Mama."

For a time, there was silence. Then, with excitement in her eyes, Mama announced, "The Gospel has spoken. Soon, the innocent shall perish."

Elsa's eyes gleamed as she looked up. "You always know how to excite me, Mama. Carve the target upon me, and your wish shall be granted."

A moment later, a tentacle pierced Elsa's heart, and she was thrown into the hedges. Meili stiffened but did not look up.

With a snarl, Mama shouted, "Do not interrupt this lovely lady, worm! You already have your next assignment!"

Elsa slid off the tentacle as her heart rapidly repaired itself. Her face flushed and she panted heavily, but she quickly regained her composure. Obediently and demurely, as if she weren't stabbed moments prior, she said, "As you wish, Mama. I am your humble servant and I love you."

Mama narrowed her eyes. "Remember that dragons breathe fire," she said coldly before turning to Meili.

Meili knew to not look up nor say anything off-script. "Your wish is my command, for I love you, Mama."

She would not make the same mistake as her sister.

Mama's face twisted into a mockery of a smile. "Good," she cooed. She leaned forward so that she was eye-level with Meili as if daring the younger girl to look.

"The Gospel has spoken," she declared, echoing her earlier statement. "Soon, the mabeasts of the forest shall be unleashed unto the village, killing all the children. You shall orchestrate the attack."

Flatly, Meili said, "Yes, Mama."

But that's not what went through her head.

A slender finger curled under her chin, lifting it up to meet a pair of piercing rubies. "Hesitation," Mama murmured slowly as if tasting the sound. "It is not in your words, but your mind. Why does this lovely lady detect hesitation?"

Meili answered calmly, but there was a dissonance between her mind and her words.

'Because I told Petra that we'd go to Priestella.'
"I would never hesitate to follow your orders, Mama."

But Mama saw Meili's inner thoughts. "Liar!" she screeched as her pupils narrowed to slits. "You cannot lie to this lovely lady!"

Why? Why did Meili lie? She knew better than to even consider disobeying Mama.

So, why did she lie?

'Because I told Leah I'd help make dinner tomorrow. Because I don't want Joseph to look even sadder.'

Meili had never lived in a home before. She had never had parents or siblings. She had Elsa, but that was different.

The Leyte family, on the other hand… Mere moments after arriving, they had accepted her. Leah had doted on her and had allowed her to taste-test her recipes. Joseph told silly jokes and had ruffled her hair. Petra was kind and had always played with her. Their family had experienced great loss, but they had taken in a waste of space like Meili, no questions asked. If anything, their grief had made them kinder.

Meili may not deserve a family, but the Leytes did.

It was decided. Her puppies could eat something else.

Glassy, olive-green orbs met angry, ruby slits. Meili had not answered immediately, so Mama dragged her nail down Meili's cheek, effortlessly opening the skin beneath.

The young girl didn't flinch, for it was a mere scratch. In an even tone, she said, "I'm not lying, Mama. I shall prepare my mabeasts."

She stood up and strode back towards Petra's house, already thinking of potential hideouts for the four of them. There was a cave system near Flanders that would work. Perhaps they could –

A great force slammed into her back, crushing her against a tree. Multiple ribs shattered on impact, and her arm threatened to tear itself out of its socket. Her limbs were a tangled mess of torn tendons and fractured bones.

Meili crashed to the ground and let slip a cry of pain. She widened her eyes but didn't have time to apologize for the unwanted noise. Even more furious than before, Mama came over and grasped Meili by the throat, seething, "You dare stand before this lovely lady and continue to lie?! Do you remember what this lovely lady does to little girls like you?!"

Fear filled Meili as her eyes flicked to Elsa, silently begging for something, anything.

Elsa gripped her blade tight but said nothing. After all, there was nothing to say. Mama was invincible, immortal. To be under her watchful eye was a game of survival.

"If we face Mama," Elsa had told her years ago, "and it is a choice between your life and mine, you must choose your own."

"But how… What?" she had stuttered, still unused to human speech. "Wh-why?"

With a soft smile, Elsa had confessed, "Because I would choose my own life. That is what it means to be an assassin."

True to her word, Elsa had never chosen Meili.

From between her bosom, Mama pulled out a ruby-encrusted dagger. Using the blade of her dagger instead of her finger, she brought Meili's face towards her. She may have quelled the ferocity of her outburst, but the hatred in her eyes was as prominent as ever.

"This lovely lady smells love," she whispered, licking her lips upon seeing the fresh blood on Meili's face. "Pure, tender, familial love… but it is not directed at your Mama."

"It is," Meili insisted, hating how her voice wavered in pain and terror. "My love is for Mama and no one else."

"Do not show fear," Elsa had told her, "or Mama will kill you."

Mama dragged the dagger down, scarring Meili's cheek and pressing it into her jugular. Blood trickled around the tip of the knife; a slip of the fingers and the young girl would no longer draw breath.

With hate in her ruby eyes, Lust spoke: "I will make sure that you never forget where your love belongs."

Meili opened her mouth to respond, but no words would come, only chirps. Dozens, hundreds of squawks and cries shrieking in an off-beat dissonance. Her mind was not one, but a thousand, spread apart into a flock of vultures.

She wanted to go back, but her mind was no longer capable of wanting. There was only a need, an instinctual desire to end her suffering.

For multiple minutes, or perhaps an eternity, she flew about in torturous pain and confusion. Eventually, Mama took pity on her, and she was turned back into the likeness of a human.

An empty shell. An imitation of a person.

Distantly, she heard, "Will you prove your love and follow the Gospel?"

But her mind was reeling, and she could not answer.

"So be it."

Mama ran her hands up and down Meili's sides, making the terrified girl shiver. She wished more than ever that her dress hadn't been torn to shreds when she was thrown into the tree. She no longer had protection from Mama's violation.

Then again, it wasn't like clothes had ever stopped Mama before.

She trembled in fear and pain as Mama's cold, dead hands once again sunk ever lower, penetrating a forbidden place. Meili didn't understand why it felt so wrong, but she hated it every time it happened. It made her feel gross, nasty, violated, ruined.

She tried to keep her face blank – as her training demanded, for she was merely providing her loving Mama what was owed – but it was impossible when Mama's hands turned to claws, scraping her innards.

'Please, Elsa,' she silently begged, trying to stifle the inevitable yelp of pain. She failed, and Mama's claws sharpened, puncturing the walls. She cried even louder, and the vicious cycle repeated. 'Break your rules, just this once!'

But Elsa did not move. She merely averted her eyes, unable to watch her little sister's torture.

Eventually, Mama removed her hand and began slowly licking Meili's blood off her fingers. The young girl, despite nearly vomiting at the sight, sighed in relief, for Mama was kind and had stopped her assault.

Then, Mama took out her ruby-encrusted dagger, and Meili finally let the tears fall.

'Worthless. Disgusting. A toy. A killer.'

A plaything for Mama.

Minutes, or perhaps hours later, Mama roughly tore the knife out from inside Meili's core, causing the girl to scream in pain yet again. "Let's try this once more," Mama said quietly to the still-tremoring Meili. Her face was blank, but a gleam of excitement remained in her eyes. "Will you wreak havoc upon the village children, as this lovely lady requested?"

Dead. Pain. Cold. Empty. Worthless. Nothing. She was a slave whose only purpose was to serve her loving Mama.

Even so, one thought refused to leave her mind, and one sentence would inevitably leave her mouth.

'I will never hurt that family, even if you torture me a thousand times.'
"It will be as you wish, Mama."

Mama's ruby eyes turned colder than normal, and before Meili knew it, she could no longer see. She could no longer think or feel. She was gone, dead. She was nothing but a ball of flesh, immobile on the ground. No sentience, no sapience. No life, no sensation.

She was dead.

Eventually, Meili became Meili once more – or perhaps for the first time – and she took a deep breath with her patched-together lungs.

Not dead. Not flesh. Just a waste of life, as always.

"You have one last chance," Mama snarled. "Kill. The. Village. Children."

Unable to hold herself up, Meili collapsed to her hands and knees, skin pallid and sweaty. She didn't know where she was or why she was here. All she knew was that she didn't want to die. She told Petra that they would braid their hair together.

She didn't know why she cared so much, but she did. They were good people, and they didn't deserve to lose another daughter.

Meili could not speak, but Mama heard it all the same. However, instead of beginning another round of torture, Mama froze. Growing another tentacle, she stabbed herself in the chest, tearing out that cursed book for the second time.

"The Gospel speaks," she whispered reverently. "The Witch's love has been bestowed upon this lovely lady."

Opening the blasphemous book and flipping through the pages at unfathomable speeds, she paused as her desired future was revealed. "How fascinating," she murmured. "The village children shall live. I shall accompany Elsa on her mission to attain the Witch Factor. The Witch's love shall not be questioned."

She closed the book with a satisfied smile as it returned to her flesh. With nary a word, she turned to Meili…

"Ah!"

…and embedded her dagger into the girl's shoulder.

"Do not worry," she said soothingly, as she reveled in Meili's pathetic whimpers. "This dagger will not be used to kill an insignificant worm."

'Do not beg,' Meili reminded herself furiously. 'Do not plead. Do not cry.'

She didn't want to go through that again.

But Mama smelled the fear, and it excited her, aroused her. It was a feeling reserved for when she was about to silence a plea for love. With a lewd smile, she declared, "Simple asphyxiation will do. Is that not a fitting fate for a broken toy?"

A tentacle snaked its way around Meili's neck and she gave in to her fear, begging for her life. As her vision began to fade, she used her final breath to beg for help…

...and a knife stabbed Mama between the shoulder blades.

Meili dropped to the base of the tree, stopping her shoulder's blood flow with her hand. A searing heat blazed beside her as she shot up and darted far, far, far away. Every step inflamed her broken leg and damaged lungs, but there was no time for pain, only running past the danger.

Past the controlled, dark flames of a dragon. Past the forest. Past Petra's home. Past Arlam Village. Past the Lord's mansion. Past civilization.

From the wild she was raised, and to the wild she returned. It was only after she collapsed from a combination of exhaustion, pain, and blood loss that she realized what had happened.

Elsa had saved her.

"Because I would choose my own life," Elsa had said. "That's what it means to be an assassin."

"Then, why?" Meili croaked, desperate for an answer. "Why save me?"

Elsa Granhiert. The Bowel Hunter. The deadliest assassin. The heartless killer. The woman who stood there and watched as Meili was carved out from the inside.

Did she… care about Meili?

Meili had never cried herself to sleep before, but there was a first time for everything.

When she came to, she realized just how weak she felt. Drowsily, she took off her cape and wrapped it around her destroyed shoulder. She was surprised she could move her arm at all, considering how close the knife came to piercing her joint. Her hand was most certainly immobile.

Walking was almost impossible. She had been moving on pure adrenaline, but now, the bones in her leg were threatening to pierce her skin. Her core, instead of being filled with scratches like it normally would, was now nearly torn to shreds. The slightest movement of her hips threatened to bring her to her knees. She'd need to be quite careful and let it rest in case she needed to run from Mama again.

The gashes on her face, neck, and arms weren't as critical, though they needed to be washed, lest she risk infection. So, before anything else, she needed to find water. With bleary eyes, she took note of her surroundings.

She was in a vast, misty field. Stalks of barley grew all around her as the dawn's rays clashed brilliantly with the flora. If she strained her ears, she could hear the trickle of a stream nearby.

No civilization was in sight. She was safe from the rumor mill. That was one defense against Mama.

She still had her stick, but her gloves and hair tie were left at Petra's. She could use the stick to help her walk, and perhaps as a weapon if need be.

Luckily, her communication mirror had been shattered upon impact with the tree. That was good; Mama couldn't use it to track her.

As she slowly and painfully stumbled her way to the stream, she couldn't help but think of the villagers; it was mostly the Leytes if she was being honest. Mama followed the Gospel, and the Gospel said to leave them be. So, they were safe. That was good.

But Elsa…

'Why did you save me, Sister?' she couldn't help but think.

It was then that Meili realized that she would have saved her sister, too. It was… strange, to realize how much she cared.

Did Elsa feel the same? Did she care?

There was no way she cared. She broke the rules to prevent death, but not torture? What about all the other times Meili could have been free? Why bring her to Mama in the first place?

Why did Elsa save her life?

Her questions would remain unanswered. All she knew was that Elsa was hurt.

The elder assassin was not dead, of course. Mama had a job for her, meaning the Gospel had given instructions. Mama would never disobey the Gospel. Therefore, Elsa was not killed.

But those flames… Elsa's abilities as a Curse Doll only went so far. Her next assignment would be her last.

Coming upon the gently flowing stream, Meili greedily drank from it. The wetness on her cheeks was merely the result of the water splashing across her face.

Somewhat satiated, she tried to sit down and ended up falling on her back, hitting her head against a rock. In her state, running from Mama would be impossible. She needed to find some mabeasts; they might give her a chance to escape.

However, that was not the only reason. With no Elsa, friends, nor mabeasts, Meili was a shell of herself. No levity, no joy. Just survival. She needed others to feel alive.

…That was a lie. She never felt alive. She just felt less dead in the company of others, and even then, it was a mask.

Even so, it was better than nothing. So, with her Divine Protection of Mana Manipulation, she cried for help.

For two days and nights, she waited. She had no food, only water. She was weak and losing strength, but she could not go to the village. If news came about of a strange, purple-haired girl wandering alone, then Mama would kill her. Meili didn't want to die. She wanted to make new friends, meet new mabeasts.

Could she even make new friends if she couldn't go near civilization? She hoped so. Maybe she could find that "special person" that Petra always talked about, even if she didn't know what that meant. Was it like Elsa's "special bowels," which would finally provide the warmth she sought?

There was no time for such simple thoughts. She needed food, but the critters nearby were too quick, and she could barely walk. She had no weapon aside from her stick. She needed a mabeast, and fast.

Her prayers were answered on the third day when a small mabeast appeared before her. For the first time in what felt like forever, a semblance of light returned to Meili's eyes.

"Hey there," she cooed. "You're such a cuuutie, aren't you?"

It didn't look like the strongest creature, but even a rabbit should be able to catch a few rodents. Gently coaxing it to come closer, she said, "It's okay. I won't hurt you."

A moment later, she blinked in confusion. Were there two rabbits a few moments ago? Or… twelve?

She grinned as she realized what this was. The Great Rabbit jumped at her, but with a mere swish of her stick, she bopped it on its cute little horn, stunning all of them. As if unsure of what to do, it remained frozen. With an excited gleam in her eyes, Meili bent down…

…and bit its horn right off.

The other Rabbits began to eat each other, ignoring Meili. Eventually, there was only one left, and it didn't attack her.

With a satisfied smile, she cradled her new friend in her arms like a newborn, saying, "We're gonna be a great team, Rabby!"

Its fur was freezing cold, but that was fine. Rabby was loyal and would only give hugs when she asked for them. That was enough to bring a semblance of warmth to her empty soul.

The following month was somewhat boring, but it was easier. Food was no longer an issue, for Rabby gave her lots of prey; she turned down any human meat, so she mostly ate scraps, but she occasionally had some venison. In turn, she let Rabby eat whatever it wanted. A couple of nearby villages may have been wiped out, but that was expected. Death was merely the end of life. As long as Rabby stayed away from Arlam Village, she was fine.

Every two days, she changed locations. After all, she couldn't have Mama discovering her.

She stayed awake most nights, cuddling Rabby; she couldn't bear the nightmares that came when she was alone. Even so, its frozen fur made the night air even colder. How was Elsa okay with wearing so little? Was it because she never got cold? Was it because she was fine revealing herself? Was it because Mama wasn't interested in adults? Was it because Meili was a bad girl? Was it because Mama was bored and –

Meili buried her face in Rabby's neck. Even having company wasn't always enough to stave off images of Mama. A little sleep deprivation would be fine, right?

She stayed up for three nights straight. She wished she had lasted longer.

A month later, she gathered enough courage to make her way through a nearby village. Keeping her head down, she stealthily listened in on a few conversations, hoping to hear word of Elsa.

Nothing. Not a single exploit or assassination had been discussed. Like a slash to her bowels, Meili realized that her initial assumption was right; her sister was dead. Still, she would ask around for confirmation; closure was important, after all. Even so…

'Did you care about me?'

…she would never be able to ask that question, and it would haunt her for the rest of her life.

Her feelings were a mess. She expected to feel nothing, of course. Death was merely the end of life. There was nothing sad about it, yet she had the strangest feeling that her face looked like Petra's did when the village girl talked about her missing sister.

But that was then, and this was now. Meili was Meili, and as long as she was beside a friend or two, she would keep smiling. It wouldn't do to make others sad.

Three months had passed since her initial escape. She had lost most of her feeling in her right arm, but she could still move it fairly well. Her hand and fingers were immobile, of course, but large movements, like scooping up Rabby, weren't too difficult.

Skinning an animal, on the other hand, was nigh-impossible; she could hold up the scraps easily enough by locking them between her forearm and shoulder, but she was used to doing it with her dominant hand. It was almost impossible to learn how to use her non-dominant hand, but she did, for she was a survivor.

Her leg, on the other hand, was almost unusable. Perhaps it could have healed, but her escape from Mama prevented that. She didn't know of any healers good enough to fix a break this bad. Now, she made her way around in a strange mix of a limp and dragging her leg, moving forward with sheer determination.

Her other injuries had healed up quite nicely, albeit not aesthetically. It was a bit hard to see her reflection in the streams, but she could tell they left some nasty scars.

Meili didn't mind scars, though she couldn't help but wonder how others felt about them. One quiet night, she asked Rabby, "You don't care that I have scars, do you?"

Of course, it didn't care. Meili allowed it to eat, and she had broken its horn. Scarred or not, it was more loyal to her than anything else.

That was enough for Meili.

Satisfied with the non-answer, she smiled and bit into some raw rat meat. After all, she couldn't cook it; lighting a fire would create smoke, and that would reveal her location to Mama.

Two days later, Meili shifted locations yet again, making her way to the fields near the Flugel Tree. It provided some nice shade, and the stars were pretty to watch from beneath the branches.

It was there that she found the second Great Mabeast.

A great mist came down from the skies as a howl of hunger filled the air. The White Whale, a monstrosity that had been on a nonstop rampage for four hundred years, descended upon Lugunica to wreak havoc once more.

Meili didn't care about the threat it presented. She spread her arms wide and cheered, "Whaley! You're so cuuute!"

The White Whale paid her no mind. She couldn't control it – it was too powerful, and she couldn't break its horn – but it would not attack her. So, she followed it. After all, it was another layer of protection against Mama.

For two weeks, the White Whale circled the Flugel Tree. It was often hidden by the mist, but sometimes it would peek out at her, as if curious about the fearless girl. She constantly sent out signals to it with her Divine Protection, making sure it stayed close. It was not obligated to listen, but it respected her wishes nonetheless.

Even so, the situation was dire. Rabby had eaten all the food in the area, so Meili hadn't eaten in a while. It was becoming harder to drag herself to a water source, and she was no longer able to change locations every two days. All she could do was keep up her vigilant watch and hope that her mabeasts would be enough.

Then he came. The man with the scary eyes.

He said he helped kill Elsa. She couldn't find it in herself to blame him, for there was no way Elsa would die normally. No, it was all Mama's fault. Mama had greatly weakened Elsa, after all.

'That's okay,' she reminded herself, albeit with more bitterness than normal. 'Death is merely the end of life.'

She couldn't help but think that the man was a bit strange; after all, he said that she didn't need Rabby and Whaley. He acted like he could do better than her mabeasts. She didn't believe it, of course. No one could rival two Great Mabeasts.

Then, he lied to her. He said that Mama was dead.

Impossible. Mama was immortal, untouchable. That dreaded knife was solid evidence, of course, but it wasn't enough. If she followed him and Mama found out…

A test. She would test him. What could go wrong?

Deep within the mist, she watched with fascination as he stood toe-to-toe with the Great Rabbit. She watched as he destroyed it with a massive soldier of shadow and stared wide-eyed as the White Whale disintegrated. She felt the slightest pang of grief at Rabby and Whaley's demise but got over it quickly. After all, death was merely the end of life.

Even so, she felt useless. She couldn't protect herself, and she couldn't protect her mabeasts.

…But could this man protect her?

The shadow golem disappeared into nothingness, and the man appeared in front of her. He did not go to his commander, or to rest. He did not rush to receive his award.

He went to her.

Kneeling before her so he was at eye-level, he quietly affirmed, "Capella is dead."

She saw the sincerity in his eyes. She knew the truth in his actions. He would not lie to her.

Mama was gone forever.

She didn't know how to feel about that. Relieved, maybe. Useless, perhaps. Mama was likely killed immediately after Elsa, meaning that Meili was on the run for no reason. What was next? Did Petra's sister come home on her own, too? Was there no need to go to Priestella?

Meili really was worthless, wasn't she?

She deserved to be on the run for listening to Mama. She had no choice but to listen to Mama. Elsa was dead. This man helped kill her. Elsa tried to kill him. Death was merely the end of life. This person was strong. He could protect her. She didn't deserve his protection. He offered it anyway.

On and on, her mind tumbled. She didn't know how to handle such a situation. All she knew were her mabeasts and how to follow orders. She should run away, go curl up and die somewhere. She should –

On the verge of desperation, the man pleaded, "Come with me, Meili. Let me protect you."

Right before her eyes, Subaru Natsuki wept like a child.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, utterly broken. "I know I don't deserve to help you. I know you deserve much better than me. I still don't know why I…"

He clenched and unclenched his fists before taking a deep breath and placing his hands on her arms. She tensed, but no nails dug into her skin. His fingers did not creep lower. His eyes did not tear hatefully into her soul. All he did was take a deep breath and whisper, "I care about you, Meili."

She didn't understand. She didn't know why he wanted to help her. She didn't know why he worked so hard for a killer like her. What was his ulterior motive? He had one – that much was obvious – but there was more to it.

Did he actually care about her? He said he did, but so did Mama.

She looked into his dark eyes and saw the answer; he looked at her like Leah and Joseph looked at Petra.

Subaru cared about Meili.

'Someone cares about me.'

…Had Elsa cared about her?

Elsa vowed to never help Meili. Elsa saved Meili's life at the cost of her own, and those contradicting philosophies tore the young girl apart. She didn't know what to believe.

With a shiver of fear, she remembered Mama's knife tearing her up from the inside. As always, Elsa had stood by and watched.

Why hadn't Elsa saved her? Why hadn't Elsa let her die? Why had Elsa broken those rules?

Meili never wanted to be a rule-breaker like that, lest it hurt someone as it hurt her.

"Did Elsa care about me?" was a question with no answer, for Elsa did not know how to care. She only had a will to survive.

But Subaru… She was almost positive he cared about her. She didn't know why someone would care for a broken toy like her, but he did.

She searched his dark eyes and felt an unfamiliar warmth. This strange feeling in her belly… Was this what people called "trust"?

The way Subaru gazed at her was unfathomable. It was filled with unending guilt, like he had hurt her and could never forgive himself – how odd, when she had hurt him mere moments after meeting him. His gaze was full of love and affection; first and foremost, he wanted to protect her.

She wanted to learn more about this wonderful man who risked his life for her. She needed to atone for the pain she caused him.

He saw her as a daughter. She didn't know who he was.

More than anything, though, she wanted to be by his side.

For the first time, she dropped her mask around another person. She let the tears fall as she threw her arms around him, gripping him like a lifeline. Her left arm, held together by sheer willpower, popped out of its socket and fell limp around his shoulders. Her disfigured leg, torn asunder from overuse, finally collapsed in on itself.

That was fine. He would take care of her.

Elsa's hands were always cold when they sparred. Subaru's embrace was warm and thrummed with life as he cradled her to his chest.

She was always on her guard around Elsa. She felt safe in Subaru's arms.

With her tears soaking his shirt, Meili whispered two words, meant for him and him alone:

"Thank you."