Disclaimer: CSI belongs to CBS and Jerry Bruckheimer.
Author's Note: To all of you who reviewed: THANK YOU! It's really great to get this much response, so again, thank you!
Chapter 3
Sara still couldn't believe what she had just read, and picked up the letter again. Tears spilled from her eyes as she started reading for the third time.
Dear Sara,
These last few weeks have been wonderful. Spending time with you has been really wonderful. And seeing you together with Lindsey, the way you made her feel special, the way you made me feel special, made my heart flutter. I cannot thank you enough for that.
But this same feeling is making me scared as well. I've never felt so much for someone in such a short time. I've never felt so dependent on someone before, and it scares me. All that passed between us the last few weeks, it all feels so good, so natural, and yet it scares me to death. Maybe it all went too fast?
I've got my own insecurities, and I know you have yours as well, and I don't want to hurt you by laying these insecurities upon you. It will do nothing but harm to our relationship. There's no easy way to say this, but Lindsey and I are leaving Las Vegas.
I'm really ashamed I didn't have the guts to tell you this in person. This is just a lousy letter, and no words will ever be able to describe this torn feeling that haunts me inside, but I didn't want to make this any harder than it already is. For you, for Lindsey, and for me.
In my heart there will always be a special place for you. I will never forget what you become to mean to me, how important you became these last few weeks.
Thank you, sweet Sara. Thank you for everything, for showing me how to live again, how to love again. You've opened up my eyes, you've opened up my heart and my soul. Thank you for caring for Lindsey and me.
Again, I can't tell you how sorry I am, and I understand it if you're angry at me for doing this to you –I'm even angry at myself. But I know it's for the best this way.
Goodbye, dear Sara. May you find the happiness and love that you deserve.
Catherine.
After she had finished reading the letter once again, she let it slip onto the ground. Questions started to form in her mind, along with anger. Not towards Catherine, nor her letter, but towards herself. Why hadn't she noticed Catherine's discomfort? Why now? Wasn't this what they both had wanted?
"Apparently not" Sara chided herself.
Had she done something wrong? Was this the end of it all?
"No" Sara said aloud, "I'm not going to give us up this easily, Catherine. You're way too important to lose…you and Lindsey."
She quickly grabbed her keys, and headed out. Her first stop would be Catherine's place. As she drove through traffic, her mind was flooded with thoughts from a day ago. After shift Catherine asked her to join her for breakfast.
"I'd love to" Sara started, "where did you want to go, Alice's?" She asked, knowing that the entire team –including herself- enjoyed having breakfast at that diner not far from the CSI HQ.
"Well, actually I was thinking about going home." Catherine said as she grabbed her jacket out of her locker.
"Home?" Sara queried, one eyebrow raised.
"Euhm…yeah…my place" Catherine said, suddenly very shy. She hoped she wasn't too forward, but thinking back at the shared kisses two nights go –waking up after she had fallen asleep against Sara's shoulder while they had been watching an old classic- she figured it would be nice to spend some time alone with her again.
That previous evening hadn't just stayed at that one kiss Catherine had –sort of- accidentally given the brunette, and Catherine hoped they could do some more "exploring" –an evil grin appearing on her face as that word popped into her mind.
Even though Sara felt more like crying now, a small smile crept onto her lips as she stopped at a traffic light. That morning turned out into one she probably would remember for the rest of her life. A tear flowed from her eye as she realized that that memory could well be the last she would have of her and Catherine. Looking over at the empty passenger's seat her mind drifted off again.
Sara's car stopped behind Catherine's on the strawberry blonde's driveway. Climbing out of the car she shoved her hands in her pockets, and shyly followed the older woman.
Both of them felt nervous –a giddy nervousness settling in their stomachs. Although Catherine had only invited her for breakfast they both considered the fact that this might turn out into something more than 'just breakfast'.
Half an hour later Catherine and Sara were seated at the kitchen table –eating their breakfast, drinking coffee, all the while talking amicably.
Suddenly, after a few minutes of comfortable silence had passed between the two women, the strawberry blonde spoke up.
About two nights ago..." Catherine started.
"Yeah?" Sara lifted her gaze, and locked eyes with Catherine. After those kisses two nights ago, they hadn't talked about what had happened –the only thing they had shared were sneaky glances at one another.
Reaching out, Catherine covered Sara's hand with hers before she continued. "I really had a nice time. Thank you."
Giving Catherine's hand a squeeze, Sara smiled. "You're welcome. I had a great evening as well."
Catherine's face now also sported a full blown smile. Entwining their fingers, Catherine started to tug Sara closer.
"If I'd say I wanted to repeat what we did two nights ago, what would you say?" Catherine said, her smile turning into a sexy grin.
Sara noticed the sparkling in Catherine's eyes –their blue color becoming darker as they stared at each other, tentatively inching closer.
"I'd say…" She started, but didn't finish because she thought actions would speak louder than words. She closed the gap between their lips and engaged a soft and sweet kiss.
Reaching Catherine's place Sara noticed the empty driveway. She quickly climbed out of her car and ran up to the front door. Sara balled her fists, and let them strike the wooden door in front of her.
"Catherine?" Banging her fists harder she called again. "Catherine, are you there? Please open up!"
But there was no avail, the door remained closed. Sara felt her stomach lurch even tighter as she climbed back into her car. Glancing up once more into the direction of Catherine's bedroom window Sara sped off, not really knowing where to go.
The kiss had started out soft and sweet, but soon things became more passionate and demanding. Since their first kiss a few nights ago, they both felt this urge to touch one another, but hadn't given in to this desire. Now their lips were toughing one another's it seemed as if they couldn't stop.
Catherine suddenly broke off their kissing, and stood up –leaving a flustered and surprised looking Sara behind. The strawberry blonde held out her hand, waiting for the brunette to take it.
Sara caught Catherine's glance towards the stairs, and started to realize whereto this would lead. She stood up, not grabbing the offered hand, but placing hers on either side of Catherine's waist.
Sara cupped Catherine's chin, forcing her to look up into her hazel eyes. "I'd rather not rush into things, Catherine. I want to do this right."
A look of disappointment flashed across Catherine's face, but was soon replaced by an understanding one as she nodded in agreement.
The look hadn't gone unnoticed by the taller woman, and she softly kissed Catherine on the lips. "I don't want to…screw things up…so to speak…I care for you too much to treat you like that."
"I care for you as well" Catherine said as she reached for Sara's hand –once again entwining their fingers, pulling them up and placing a kiss on Sara's palm. Sara responded by pulling the shorter woman's body closer to her own lean frame.
Noticing the time, Catherine suddenly felt how tired she was. 'After working last night's shift who wouldn't be tired' she thought. Catherine locked eyes with Sara again. "We should both get some sleep. Will you please stay here? Just to sleep."
Sara didn't respond right away, so Catherine continued. "I'll take the couch if that would make you more comfortable."
"That won't be necessary. I think we'll manage in one bed." Sara smiled as she once again claimed the strawberry blonde's lips. "I'm really looking forward to holding you in my arms as we sleep." She added as Catherine led her upstairs.
But just holding one another turned out to be harder than both of them thought…
Focusing on traffic again, Sara noticed she was already –unconsciously- driving towards the CSI HQ. She suddenly grabbed her cell phone, and dialed Catherine's number –chastising herself for not thinking of trying this any earlier.
After the phone had rung a few times it automatically switched to Catherine's voicemail. Anger suddenly emerged as Sara threw her phone on the empty seat next to her and her fist hit the steering wheel. "This isn't going to work" she huffed.
She felt as if there was only one thing left she could try –or better said: one person. So she grabbed her cell once more.
"Warrick, where's Catherine?"
"Sara, I…"
But before he could finish his sentence, Sara interrupted him "Cut the crap, I know you know where she is."
"She's leaving"
"As if I hadn't figured that part out already."
"I'm sorry Sara" Warrick said
"Damn it Warrick, just tell me where she is" Sara now almost screamed into her phone.
"McCarran…" was all Sara needed to hear so she ended the call, and drove off fast towards the airport. She had to try and catch Catherine –stop her from making this mistake. She at least wanted a last chance to talk to her.
