A month. There's only a month before I'm married.
Holy shit.
So, uh, special thanks to my fiancée for agreeing to marry me. I still don't get it, but I'm so excited, nonetheless. I usually delete my author's notes after a few chapters (keeping the special thanks) so that I don't break up the flow for anyone reading all the way through, but just…I don't know. This shit's so unbelievable, it feels like I need to keep a record of it.
Anyway, here's a (mostly) feel-good chapter to both break up the suffering and to check in with the main cast.
Interlude—Those He Left Behind
Emilia was a terrible sleeper, and she had never been much of a morning person.
At least, that was what Subaru had always told her. He had always gotten up bright and early, hollering about radio calisthenics and how cute his Beako was that morning and how he couldn't wait to spend the day with her and his gorgeous Emilia-tan. Even if, mere hours prior, he had endured a terrible nightmare, he'd still put on a smile for everyone else's sake.
Emilia was a terrible sleeper, yet she couldn't help but want to emulate such an incredible person.
A pale-blonde curl appeared in front of her face, tickling her nose. With a grin, Emilia ruffled the sleeping Beatrice's hair, slowly detaching herself from the spirit. Beatrice mumbled something along the lines of "hopeless, in fact," so there was no doubt in Emilia's mind who the little girl was dreaming about.
Putting her hair up in a quick, messy ponytail—she had never been as skilled in the hair department as Subaru or Puck—Emilia pushed aside the flap of her tent and faced the morning sun. Ten minutes of stretches and a shameless shout of "victory" later, she turned to her left, feeling refreshed. What greeted her nearly wiped the smile off of her face, but she kept it for his sake. Or was it hers? She wasn't sure.
"Good morning, Subaru," she said. "It's a reeaally nice day out, isn't it?"
No response, as expected. She wasn't deterred.
"Beatrice is still sleeping," she continued, "but I'm sure she'll be up in a few minutes. If not, then I'll go check on her—as you know, neither of us prefer to be alone."
The only sound that answered her was a bit of wind whistling through the trees. This part of the Sanctuary was as quiet as ever.
Emilia looked behind her at the simple, grey tent. "It was nice of the villagers to set that up for me. I've been nothing but trouble, yet they did everything they could to allow me to stay near you. I really hope that I can repay them someday. They say that the freedom you'll bring will be more than enough, but they shouldn't have been trapped in the first place. Maybe I can provide better lodging for them if I become queen."
If, not when. Felt and Anastasia now held a massive lead over Emilia.
She brushed a stray lock of hair behind her ear, leaving it exposed. "So much has happened since you've been gone. Felt has successfully won over all of the common folk, whereas Anastasia has gotten the upper class. It turns out that the promise of financial success can be as influential as patriotism. As for Priscilla—"
'She opened a bakery,' a voice said drily, causing Emilia to grin.
"Priscilla's reeaally stubborn. Even after Pandora threatened her, she stood up and said that she won't let a Witch's idea of destiny define her. I believe her exact words were 'I am destiny, and I shall do what I wish.'"
Apparently, what she wished for was spitting in Pandora's face and dropping the Royal Selection.
The public was struck dumb. She then shocked them further by declaring that she would be making pastries for the foreseeable future.
It was entertaining to watch, but it created some…roadblocks. Luckily, Priscilla didn't appear to be mind-controlled—either it was extremely subtle, or Pandora had lied about that ability—but that didn't mean that she wasn't struggling. Despite her shop being right in the center of the Capital's shopping district, no one was able to see it. According to Priscilla, their eyes just…glossed over it.
Of course, a lack of customers wasn't a true hindrance to a noblewoman like Priscilla—it was everything else that disturbed her. In a letter addressed to Emilia, Priscilla had detailed:
Upon turning a corner in my home, I hear a voice whispering of prestige and power. It tells me of the glory that the Lugunican throne will bring. It speaks of the land of my birth and of glorious reunion and revenge against the man who had both saved my life and stolen my birthright.
The voice sounds like my own.
These are thoughts that I had submerged myself in for years. I still wish for it, and dearly so—my current goals merely happen to overshadow my former ones. So, why do I hear it? Why does my own voice haunt me so?
From then on, the writing had transitioned from thin, elegant cursive to something more angular and blotchier.
You know it, as do I: the inner voice—that which I had once called my luck—is the disgusting influence of a deceitful Witch. She is tempting me, even now, knowing full well how powerful one's own voice is.
I must question why she does not take over my body, as she claims that she can do. I wonder why she does not rewrite reality, as Aldebaran has since informed me of. Why does she resort to voices and delusions? Has she not deemed me important enough as a mechanism to change history in her favor? Regarding that, how much control does she have? How many decisions were my own, and how many were hers? Is she only able to remind me of my previous assertions, or can she craft them anew?
There are too many questions, but not a single answer lies in sight. I must say, I had high hopes that your knight would have offered a solution by now, yet not a week after meeting him, he disappears, leaving his princess without a knight—do let me know when he comes back so that I may execute him for his foolishness.
It seems that it is up to me to purge the world of the evil inhabiting it. Henceforth, I, Pricilla Barielle, the rightful heir to the Vollachian throne, shall nevermore fall prey to a Witch's delusions. I shall act in such a way that she cannot have predicted. I do not care how demeaning a task it is; so long as I can break free from her prison and attain victory, no cost is too great.
Let my Yang Sword burn bright as I tear through the soul of a Witch.
Priscilla's signature was so large, it took up most of the lower half of the page. One other piece of paper came with the letter: an advertisement for "Priscilla's Pastries." Scribbled in the bottom-right corner, as elegant as ever despite the lack of space, Priscilla had written, "She relies on our predictability and her unpredictability. Reverse the roles, and victory shall be ours…even if it means acting like a disgusting peasant."
Emilia may not agree with how Priscilla spoke of the common folk, but she admired her fellow candidate's resolve. It gave her hope to know that Pandora was fallible, even if Emilia doubted that the "unpredictability" method would work on Pandora's main targets.
Emilia shrugged to herself. She wouldn't know until she tried. At the very least, it could cause Pandora to panic. It was possible that the oh-so-powerful, omniscient Witch of Vainglory was more like a child who thought that she knew how to manipulate adults but, in truth, she had no idea how to understand other people.
"Pandora's kind of like Meili in that way," Emilia mused, "though that's not really a fair comparison. Meili's trying to hide her own pain so that she isn't a bother, but it's super obvious that she's hurting. Pandora, on the other hand…"
…Well, Emilia couldn't claim to understand that monster's mental state, but it was probably along the lines of trying to dictate events to control emotions.
'Personally, I prefer Meili over Pandora,' a voice said in her mind.
Emilia wholeheartedly agreed. She could easily see why Subaru was so attached to Meili, even if she didn't know their shared history.
"You'd be proud of Meili," Emilia said quietly to the shadows before her. "This entire time, she's stuck around, waiting for you to come back to us. That kind of attachment to someone she hadn't known for long doesn't seem healthy, but her loyalty is something to admire, I think."
According to Subaru, Meili was only nine years old, yet she had already decided that her place in life was beside the man who had saved her life.
"She's a good girl," Emilia whispered. "She didn't handle this well at first—none of us did—but we've all supported her to the best of our ability. Petra and her family have helped a lot on that end, even offering for Meili to come live with them back in Arlam, but Meili's refused to leave. Setting up playdates is now a bit of a hassle, but…it makes me happy that she's here. I'm a selfish girl, Subaru. I don't want her to leave, and neither does…well…"
Neither did Beatrice.
Almost inaudibly, Emilia pushed onwards. "Beatrice…isn't doing well. You two spent almost every second together, so for you to be gone for so long…It's not easy for her."
Beatrice had always been incredibly attached to her contractor, especially since he had freed her from her solitude. Now, despite being surrounded by people who loved her, she felt more alone than ever before.
"I have to be strong for her. She's relying on me. If not for me and Meili, I don't…I don't think she'd be able to handle it. Please, come back soon, Subaru. She needs you."
Despite Emilia's best efforts, her smile dropped. "I need you," she confessed. "Beatrice may be nice and warm, but we both agree that it's nothing compared to when you hold us."
The entire time, she kept her voice strong. That was her promise to him, wasn't it? She would get stronger. She wouldn't be that weak little girl who got turned into a rat. She refused to cry over his absence when she had already shed so many tears.
She would only let herself weep upon his return.
She knew that he wouldn't mind. He'd comfort her and tell her that she still looked beautiful. He'd say that there's nothing wrong with crying, even as he'd hide his own tears from the world.
She took a deep breath and counted to ten. She wished that Beatrice or Meili were beside her to hold her hand, but she didn't want to bother them for something that she could do just fine on her own.
"W-we'll get you out soon, Subaru. We're right there—I c-can feel it! I know we're taking so long, but please, just wait a little longer!"
That was unfair to ask of him, and she knew that. What he was going through was undoubtedly horrible.
After all, Subaru had been in the clutches of the Witch of Envy…for more than three months.
Emilia clenched and unclenched her fists, letting her heart rate return to normal. Against all odds, she knewthat Subaru was still alive. It wasn't because of faith, or love, or anything like that.
She knew that he was safe because she had an informant.
A woman whom Emilia had once hated but now greatly admired. A being of vast strength who—because of careful wording—was still in a contract with her other half.
With practiced ease, Emilia reached out with her mind, sending a thought to Satella.
'Anything new?'
If anyone knew that a silver-haired half-elf was speaking so casually to the fabled Witch of Envy, she would probably be executed, but that was neither here nor there.
'No significant developments,' Satella responded. There was a great strain upon her voice, as she struggled to push past Envy's influence. 'They've barely moved an inch.'
Emilia had expected nothing less, but it still disappointed her. Because of the Witch of Envy's yin magic, time in Echidna's domain flowed much slower than in the outside world.
'It's not fair,' she said, grimacing at how whiny her inner voice sounded. 'Of all the magic to use, the Witch of Envy chose one that affects space and time.'
She could imagine Satella's wry grin. 'For her, it's not much of a choice. It's simply one way to be closer to her beloved.'
'As I've said before, there are better ways to be like Subaru.'
'I cannot bring myself to disagree.'
The corners of Emilia's lips curled upwards. At the very least, she had company during these trying times.
Speaking of company—
The tent flap opened, revealing a small, purple-haired girl with bright, olive-green eyes. She covered her mouth with a yawn. "Morning, Emilia," Meili mumbled, blinking the sleep out of her eyes.
Emilia smiled softly. "Good morning, Meili. Did I ever tell you that those pajamas look reeaally cute on you?"
Meili blushed and bunched up the soft threads, still not used to such simple compliments. The fuzzy outfit was unlike anything either of them had seen before, covering everything from her collarbone to the soles of her feet. It wasn't exactly ideal for the Sanctuary's warm weather, but, well…
"Subaru made it," she said, even though both of them knew that. "He hadn't even met me, yet he still sewed all this nice stuff for me."
It wasn't just dolls—Subaru had hand-crafted an entire wardrobe for her. He hadn't told a single other person, either, almost as if her gratitude would be more than enough of a reward. She'd be sure to tell him just how much it all meant to her…right after he finished that last doll, of course—he was so silly, thinking that she wouldn't want one of him, too.
She shook her head, clearing it of her reverie. "Are there any changes?"
Emilia smiled softly—it warmed her heart to see how much Meili cared. "None," she said, "but that means he's still safe."
Meili's eyes drooped, but she didn't seem surprised. She walked up to the gigantic, looming wall of shadows separating her from her savior and stood next to Emilia. After careful consideration, she slowly reached out and grabbed Emilia's hand. Her face flushed as if she were doing something wildly inappropriate, but the ball of anxiety loosened somewhat when Emilia beamed at her.
'It's a pretty smile,' she thought. 'Elsa had a pretty smile, too.'
Even after all this time, thinking about Elsa made her feel all weird and confused. She much preferred thinking about Emilia, or Beatrice, or Subaru.
She forcefully brought herself back on track and asked, "Do you think Subaru will be back soon?"
Emilia squeezed Meili's hand. "I know he'll be back soon. Beatrice is doing everything she can to find a way through."
Meili nodded slowly. She struggled with herself for some time. "I want to stay here," she said after a prolonged period of silence. "With him. I want to tell him that."
Emilia beamed. "I'm proud of you, Meili. Subaru will be over the moon."
"No one talks like that anymore, I suppose."
Beatrice walked up beside them, looking as if she hadn't slept at all—she may be able to take Emilia's mana, but it wasn't the same as her own contractor's. She crossed her tiny arms and glared at the impassable shadows. "That idiot contractor of mine had better come back soon, I suppose. Betty wants to see how stupid he'll look when Meili asks to stay with him forever."
Emilia couldn't help but giggle. "Don't you mean 'how happy he'll look'?"
"I know what I said, in fact. Subaru always looks stupid."
Meili wrung her hands together. "Do you really think he'll say yes? He won't be mad?"
Beatrice rolled her eyes. "Realistically, Betty's Subaru will have one of two reactions, I suppose. Either he will have already assumed that you'll be living with us until you're old and grey, or he'll have resigned himself to thinking that you'll want to leave and never see him again. Regardless, he wants you around, in fact."
Meili ducked her head, covering her face with her hair, but her braid did nothing to conceal her blossoming smile.
Beatrice tried to fight it down, but that made her smile, too. A moment later, it was wiped from her face. "It's not right," she said, visibly frustrated. "We're standing here, talking about promises and pajamas, while Subaru is fighting for his very existence.
Emilia didn't let her smile slip. "Mhm. I guess that's why we're talking about stuff like that."
Beatrice turned up her nose, but she didn't rebuke Emilia's statement, nor did she walk away. No one commented when she sniffled and held Meili's hand.
The three of them would have loved to stand together, hand-in-hand, forming an impenetrable wall that shielded Subaru from all that would harm him. Now, however, they could only give a show of solidarity as they awaited his return.
None of them liked it, but they handled all of life's curveballs head-on, so they could cope with it. Considering Subaru's situation, they were almost surprised that something like this hadn't happened sooner. Well, Emilia and Beatrice weren't surprised—Meili had been informed that Subaru was a very important figure in a past life but hadn't been told much more than that. It was up to the man himself to decide if he would give that kind of knowledge to a child. Oh, sure, he'd probably tell her about his almost-comical love life, or maybe that he knew the Divine Dragon personally, but even a child as troubled as Meili would have difficulty hearing some of the things that Subaru had done.
Emilia put a finger to her chin and thought. When her and Subaru had children of their own, would they reveal any of this? Granted, Beatrice was different, being a four-hundred-year-old spirit, and Meili was…
Well, only Meili knew exactly what she wanted to be to them, but Emilia certainly had her hopes.
Still, Beatrice and Meili came into their lives while these conflicts were unresolved and were therefore affected by it. What about when everything was over and new life was brought into the world? What would her and Subaru tell their kids?
Through their link, Emilia could feel an overwhelming wave of sorrow and grief emanating from Satella. The Witch of Envy's unwilling host tried to hide it, of course, but Emilia saw right through it.
'You can talk to me about it if you want,' she said. 'Subaru would try bottling up his feelings on the subject, and it wasn't healthy.'
More specifically, he had banned the word "Daphne" and heavily discouraged discussing Shaula. As a result, he hadn't been able to heal, leading to near breakdowns whenever one of their names were mentioned.
For a time, their connection was silent—after all, they could not hear each other's private thoughts. At length, Satella asked, 'How do you look past it?'
She didn't say what "it" was, but Emilia knew what it meant all the same.
Subaru had murdered Daphne, yet Emilia still wanted a family with him.
On a surface level, she would seem utterly crazy, and perhaps she was. Even so, she had thought about this for a long time, yet her answer hadn't changed.
'Subaru's done a lot of bad things,' Emilia said, 'but he has a limit.'
'I know,' Satella responded, her voice carefully even. 'When he started considering human sacrifice, I could tell that something was dreadfully wrong. It wasn't like him.'
Emilia was loath to admit it, but she pointed out, 'I'm not so sure about that part. He was under a lot of stress, and he's not the best at handling poor situations. Him wanting to kill a nameless criminal wasn't exactly out of character for him.'
'And what of Typhon, a child? Or Minerva, our dear friend?'
By now, Emilia remembered everything up until the soul split, so she remembered playing with Typhon as a child. She also felt her ancestor's fondness for Minerva. Despite that, she was firm in saying, 'It was wrong, and he knew that it was wrong, but surely, you could see what led him to that point.'
'Are you excusing his actions?'
'The opposite. I'm condemning him. I'm just accepting that the Subaru I love is also the one who had committed such heinous crimes.'
Subaru wasn't a hero or a villain. He was a chaotic mess of beautiful, kind virtue and horrendous sin. Depending on the situation, he could either sacrifice himself to save a friend, or he could damn that same person to a horrible fate in favor of someone that was more important to him.
She vividly recalled their argument about leaving Beatrice behind. He cared dearly for the newborn spirit, but he had put Emilia first—or, well, Satella, but such nuances were moot with that set of memories.
Over half a year ago, Subaru had told her about all that, but he had refrained from saying anything that had painted him in a good light, like how he had subtly tried introducing the idea of leaving to Beatrice. She remembered how guilty he had felt for even considering abandoning that precious girl.
When telling his tale, he made himself out to be the villain. Perhaps that was true to some degree, but it was more nuanced than that. He was a man defined by circumstance—a cosmic plaything, swept along a path by forces far above him. He fought for those he loved, doing his best to give them a wonderful future, but it couldn't often be achieved through moral behavior.
'That's the thing, Satella. His love is single-minded. First and foremost, he wants to give us the best life possible. It wouldn't be difficult for someone to twist that desire into something awful.'
'So, you're saying…'
'I am. The man who saved us is also the one who—under very specific circumstances—would sacrifice people to keep us safe.'
She hated to admit that. She couldn't stand the thought of her Subaru doing such things…but the situation had turned him into something that he was not.
Desperation has caused many good people to do terrible things. It wasn't an excuse, nor did it justify it—it merely helped her understand him better.
Subaru was a broken man from the start. He had latched on to her from day one, even forming his identity around keeping her safe.
'And yet, for years, it was more than just you. Isn't that right, Satella?'
Satella's voice turned wistful. ''Tis true…For every moment that he claimed I was first in his heart, there were two more where he proved with his actions that he loved our little angel just as much.'
Emilia hadn't known that for sure before she had started speaking to Satella about such things, but she had theorized it.'Speaking of that, call it a gut feeling, but there was something…off about his tale. It just never made any sense to me.'
Satella was clearly confused, but that was fine. Emilia would happily explain. She didn't want anyone, and especially not Satella, to think poorly of her knight.
Not long after they had met, Subaru had explained his past in great detail. Sure, he had glossed over the happier parts, but that was understandable—it was human nature to fixate on misfortune and strife. He had meticulously detailed how he had planned the murder of every single Witch, along with every single part of his thought process. He had spared no detail, actively waiting for them to get fed up and hate him.
It was tough to handle the information that she had received. What he had done was horrendous, no doubt about it. Hearing it hurt her on a level that she couldn't fully articulate, so she was never quite the same person after that. Her innocence had broken down, piece by piece, as she tried to comprehend what her Subaru had done. How could she reconcile the kind, strong man who had saved her with the monster who had killed his daughter?
She almost couldn't…but she did. She saw how a fine-tuned environment could have led him down that exact path.
But something about his story had stuck out to her, even though it had been forgotten amidst the other revelations. He had killed Daphne in her bedroom…almost immediately after opening the front door. Emilia was no expert on the structure of the Pleiades Watchtower, but she doubted that the grand entrance to such a mystical location led directly to a little girl's bedroom.
'Something fishy happened there,' Emilia concluded. 'I can't make a proper judgment of his character back then until I know all of it. However, right now, I firmly believe that Subaru would never hurt his own daughter.'
It was silent for a moment, both inside of her mind and out of it. Meili squeezed Emilia's left hand and gave a calming smile, having noticed her tension. Beatrice raised her arms and tried to bring down the wall of shadows—to little success, obviously, though it was progress, nonetheless.
''Twas strange when I first heard that, too,' Satella said at length. 'Of course, I had only heard the details when he explained it to you. Centuries ago, all I knew was that he had sacrificed my little girl.'
Emilia grimaced. Context didn't make it any better—he had also orchestrated the deaths of his close friend and another child—but it was still obvious that Subaru had explained it with minimal detail in the hopes that Satella would toss him to the side, therefore both letting her move on while further validating his suicide ideation.
Satella's tone was somber, but she pushed forward. 'I knew—rather, I had believed—that those were not the actions of the man that I loved, but the guilt in his eyes proved that he was still there. It took time, but over the centuries, I had managed to focus on that, allowing me to forgive him…but I can never forget. When I think of children, I think of my daughter screaming in pain as he stabbed her to death, all so that I could live.'
Emilia couldn't help but wince.
'Then, I saw her in the First Trial,' Satella said. Emilia's ears perked up in response. '…You are correct. There was far more to that situation. I…I do not know if I can fault him for Daphne's death.'
'Really? You mean that?'
'I do. If things had gone the way that he had intended, they would likely still be living happily together. In the end, his priority was keeping his daughter safe.'
The conversation topic prevented Emilia from feeling good, but at least she had more confirmation that her Subaru wasn't the terrible father that he had claimed to be.
As for his other crimes…he took steps to atone every day. His every action was about either protecting his family or making the world a better place. He went so far for others to the point where he'd spend much of his day slaving away—and yet, he wouldn't tell anyone. Case in point, Meili's hand-crafted wardrobe.
Even beyond that, Emilia had to consider Regulus's ex-wives. Subaru had arranged room, board, and work for over fifty strangers. He had asked for no recognition, nor did he expect absolution for his past; he merely did what he felt was right.
Every single day, Emilia witnessed who Subaru truly was. He only saw the ugliest parts of himself, but she saw the kind of man he was when not facing those horrible, messy situations. He's already proved who he would be in a normal world.
She'd fight her very best to let him live in that kind of world.
Maybe she was crazy for thinking like this, but it was hard to go through what she had and not be a little unstable. Still, she loved him, and they say that love is blind. Besides, he had changed for the better, both at the end of his last life and his current one. She didn't know a single other person who could be filled with love after experiencing what he had, yet he took what he had been through and used it to make himself a better person.
She couldn't imagine marrying anyone else.
A rush of warmth flowed through her. 'To see these things before I could, even without knowing the truth of the events four hundred years ago…You truly are my better half.'
Now that, Emilia could never agree with, but that was neither here nor there.
She was taken out of her thoughts by a comment from Beatrice. "I'm getting closer to breaking through the barrier, in fact. A few more days, and maybe—"
Meili jolted. "We might get Subaru back?!"
The little spirit rubbed her temples. "Not so loud, I suppose! Betty has a headache! But yes, in fact. Hopefully. Maybe. Probably not."
Emilia plastered a smile on her face. "You used a Subaruism at the end there."
"Shush, you, I suppose."
Emilia didn't want to leave the two children behind, especially not so near the Witch of Envy, but she trusted that Satella would inform her of any new events. Plus, Beatrice was super strong, and Meili wasn't exactly incapable, either. As she said goodbye and walked away, she reminded herself that they'd be just fine…
"Why, hello there, Lady Emilia. No luck with our dear knight, I assume?"
…when she went to see Roswaal.
At first, she didn't particularly like the man, especially after she had found out about many of his schemes. The fact that he knew that her mother was coming yet did nothing to help, along with how he had relied so heavily on a knockoff Book of Wisdom left a sour taste in her mouth—that thing had contributed to a decade of torture.
But now, instead of the Gospel…Roswaal relied on Emilia.
With definitive proof that his Gospel was fallible, Roswaal had sunk into a depression so deep, he seemed almost lifeless. Ram had even resorted to spoon-feeding him just to keep him alive.
One day, Emilia had gotten fed up, so she berated him. She didn't like getting angry, but the stress was getting to her, and she hated babysitting a four-hundred-year-old man. Subaru and Ram had insisted that there was a good man in there somewhere, and she demanded that he come back.
Of course, Emilia knew that wasn't how self-improvement worked for most people, but Roswaal did change…albeit not in the way she had expected.
"I am not the man that I once was," he had said. "I am a monster wearing the skin of my descendant."
Emilia hadn't known what he was talking about, but she had to force down the pity she felt at his sorrowful tone. This was not the Roswaal she knew. If anything, that kind of self-deprecation would sound more appropriate coming from Subaru.
"I can never absolve myself of my wrongdoings." Roswaal had cut off Emilia's half-hearted denial. "The people that I hurt won't come back."
The blunt honesty and lackluster demeanor from the typically eccentric lord had made her shift uncomfortably. Was this how he had always been beneath the mask? "Um, it's good that you realize all of that, I think? So, um…what are you going to do about it?"
Both his blue and yellow eyes had pierced her. "I will make the world a better place…through you. You will be the best queen Lugunica has ever seen—I'll make sure of it."
On seemingly an impulse, the broken, possibly insane man…signed over his entire estate to her.
Massive mansions and territories. The rights to the Mathers family. An unbelievable fortune. An astronomically large territory.
Elior Forest.
All of it meant nothing to him, so he gave it all away to the one person that he still believed in.
Soon after wrapping her head around her new status, Emilia had realized something else: Rem, Ram, and the other maids now belonged to her. Real, living people belonged to her. Her friends belonged to her.
Roswaal had assured her that it wasn't like that, but it still made Emilia feel sick. Without a moment's hesitation, she had marched up to Ram and Rem and declared that they were free. No contract, no obligation, nothing. They could do what they wished.
They stayed right there.
Emilia had sent off a missive to the mansion, giving it to Petra's older sister, Rebecca Leyte. She, along with the rest of the villagers, had returned to Arlam, with many of them going to work at the mansion.
They all stayed on as maids, though it was now clear that it was a job instead of indentured servitude. The clarification surprised them, as none of them had viewed it as such—Roswaal had treated them better than Subaru had assumed, it seemed.
Soon after dealing with that, Emilia realized how much responsibility would fall upon her. She was more than happy to take it, of course, but it was…a lot. It was quite the blow to what little pride she had left to know that she was woefully unprepared to be a Lady, let alone a Queen.
So, Roswaal helped her. Every day, on top of studying for the Royal Selection—in other words, history and the modern political landscape—she was taught how to navigate the upper echelons of society.
She was taught how to be a queen.
Roswaal had never given her such instructions before—certainly not one-on-one lessons. After all, she wasn't just a tool from his Gospel, anymore. He clung to her desperately as if her success was now the only thing that mattered. It seemed that, just as Subaru needed to save people, Roswaal needed to devote himself to someone. With Roswaal, it was not romantic—at least, she hoped not—rather, it was borne of a self-worth so miniscule, he couldn't live for his own happiness.
She wondered what that implied about his feelings for Echidna.
Her gaze fell on the well-dressed man sitting at the table. He didn't have an ounce of make-up on. Ram stood in the corner, awaiting orders. Not for the first time, Emilia wondered why Roswaal didn't devote himself to Ram, Rem, or even Beatrice. He clearly held affection for them, but Emilia supposed that it was just like him to not see what was in front of him. She hoped that would change soon.
Bringing herself back to reality, Emilia looked straight ahead and said, "Hello, Roswaal. We don't have any updates on Subaru yet. Beatrice is getting closer to breaking through the barrier, though."
He nodded, but his eyes weren't anywhere near hers. He slumped over the chair, staring at a closed, black book. He didn't reach out for it, choosing instead to fold his arms in his lap. Those same arms shook, but he forced them in place.
"We could really use your help," Emilia implored. "Beatrice is great at yin magic, but your skill is truly incredible."
He held out his hand, palm-up. A flame flickered weakly in it before dying out.
He couldn't even muster the motivation to cast a simple spell.
Emilia's eyes softened. "Right. Your magic. Sorry."
"Do not apologize," he said sharply. "Keep your head held high. Do not let your opponent see your weakness…and I most certainly am your opponent."
She shook her head. "Maybe a few months ago, but you've been reeaally helpful recently."
His eyes narrowed, but he didn't look up. "You're giving your subject an advantage by acting subservient."
"A queen serves her people."
"To serve the people is to die for their vices."
"The people overcome their vices because they are good at heart, and it will be an honor to serve them."
He met her eyes for a moment, and she rejoiced at the spark that momentarily appeared.
In the corner, Ram released an exaggerated sigh. "I must say, Lo—Roswaal's teaching methods are quite odd."
His lips twitched upwards upon hearing her voice. Again, Emilia wondered why he had chosen her instead of someone that he already cared about.
'Desperation warps people,' Satella gently reminded her, 'and you also have a clear goal for him to work towards. He's merely approaching the problem from a different angle.'
'It's still not fair to Ram and Rem.'
It didn't make sense, but it had happened, so she had to accept it.
"My old teacher used that method," Roswaal told Ram. "She would challenge everything you said to test your resolve and to see if you actually held that viewpoint. It encouraged deliberate thought and action."
Emilia frowned. "That doesn't sound like the Echidna I know. She wouldn't put that much effort into helping others improve like that."
Roswaal stiffened. "She changed with time," he shot back. "She may have been…distant…but she learned how to give more of herself to those she cared about."
She crossed her arms. "Are you sure about that, Roswaal? She hurt a lot of people—"
"As did every Witch," he snapped, "but she helped more than she hurt."
"That doesn't excuse her actions."
"Maybe not, but she changed for the better."
Emilia's frown deepened. "I highly doubt that she—"
Roswaal cut her off. "Listen to me, Lady Emilia," he said with an edge of danger. "Everything that Echidna had worked for crumbled around her. She had been so confident, but it backfired."
Emilia didn't mind that, as it had kept her alive, but Roswaal kept going.
"Don't you see? My teacher felt stupid."
"…Oh."
Echidna's identity revolved around her intellect, be it about her knowledge or her desire for more. She coveted all of the information that the world had to offer her, so she sought immortality, granting her the time to learn anything and everything. For her to feel like her intelligence was lacking…
"…It destroyed her," Emilia realized.
Roswaal nodded sharply. "So, she built herself from the ground up. The foundations were the same, and her way of showing affection was…somewhat lacking, but my Echidna was a truly amazing person."
Emilia wanted to accept that. She wanted to believe that even the worst people could be good.
But something stopped her.
"What about Beatrice?" she said with a challenging glare. "She left a sweet little girl alone for four hundred years, waiting for a person that didn't exist."
Roswaal scoffed. "Let me guess. Your esteemed knight told you that?"
Hesitantly, Emilia nodded.
"I heard those instructions myself," Roswaal said slowly, "and I know who 'That Person' was supposed to be, but he was too much of a coward to take Beatrice's burden. He saw her and walked away, leaving her alone for centuries. That Person was despicable…and believing in him was perhaps the only decision that I disagreed with my teacher on."
Emilia jolted. "But that's not—"
"Not what Subaru Natsuki told you? That's because the Echidna who told him that was not my teacher, but an imprint of her younger self. That Echidna would not know of this. She only said what she did because she would have been interested in seeing Subaru's reaction."
Emilia furrowed her eyebrows. It was difficult to wrap her head around, both from an intellectual standpoint and an emotional one, but there was one thing that she could do.
"I see," Emilia said quietly. "Well, I know better than anyone that people can change. I'll try to keep an open mind when I next see her, but I can't promise anything."
Roswaal perked up at the word "when," but he quickly masked it. His eyes locked onto the Gospel, and he looked like he was about to reach for it once more. Fortunately, he put his hands back into his lap.
Without warning, he dove into a lecture on trade, treaties, and abstaining from war. When should she appease a foreign tyrant, and when should she intervene? How much freedom should she give to individual cities? The sheer amount of information coupled with the sudden topic change threatened to overwhelm Emilia, but she still managed to follow along, taking mental notes and asking questions when appropriate.
A few minutes in, Ram left, presumably to go spend time with Rem and Garfiel. As she wasn't Roswaal's maid anymore, she didn't have any obligation to stay; she simply chose to oversee his…rehabilitation. Emilia could respect that kind of loyalty.
Come to think of it, was that what Emilia's loyalty to Subaru looked like to the others who knew of his past? Forgiving a man for such heinous crimes because she saw the person underneath?
Did Subaru have to make those kinds of justifications for loving Emilia, too?
In a fit of desperation, both of them had done terrible things to those whom they loved dearly. To make it worse, their actions were completely pointless.
They were a match made in heaven, it seemed.
She pushed those morbid thoughts out of her mind and focused on Roswaal, nodding as he spoke of trade regulations with coastal cities. It was a lot of information spit-fired in a disorganized, haphazard manner, but she somehow managed to follow along.
Suddenly, he stopped speaking. He turned to face his shut Gospel, dropped his eyes to a spot right before it, folded his hands in his lap, and fell silent. Emilia recognized this as her cue to leave, giving a quiet "thanks" as she did so.
The door shut behind her, leaving Roswaal alone. He sighed and picked up his Gospel, dusting off the cover before opening it to a page near the end. Normally, the words appeared wherever he opened it, but now?
Now, his future was reaching its final chapters.
He brushed his fingers over the words, reading them to himself once more. He had memorized them, of course, but they befuddled him. Normally, it was quite clear that they led him to his greatest desire—Echidna's revival—but this was different. He had no idea what this was leading him to.
Basic charity work. A bit of political involvement. Teaching the younger generation. Most decidedly not dealing with property management. It even told him to take a walk when the weather turned nice.
It wasn't instructing him on how to revive Echidna. If anything, it was telling him to simply…live. These were things that he would have done if he weren't stricken with the curse of love.
He flicked his wrist, tossing the book onto the wooden table before him. Looking towards the door, he muttered:
"Come to think of it…a walk in the sun sounds quite lovely."
Meili sat on a stone slab with her back against a wall of shadows, watching Beatrice work. Even months later, she was captivated by the pure mana flowing off of the spirit. It soothed weariness that she didn't know she still had, and it filled her heart with warmth. It felt like putting on soft, warm clothes after being dunked under cold water—an odd sensation to be associated with an incorporeal substance, but it was truly a balm for someone with her…affliction.
Well, perhaps "affliction" was too harsh of a word; it didn't really seem to affect her all that much, even though it impacted her environment.
Meili was filled with miasma: a corrupted form of mana. At least, that was what Beatrice had said, along with the words, "You smell almost as bad as Betty's Subaru, in fact. N-not that that's a bad thing, I suppose! Betty just has a very sensitive nose, is all."
Beatrice had proceeded to ramble on and on about how it was perfectly acceptable to be filled with miasma, that there was absolutely nothing wrong with Meili, and that some people were just born with that side of the Od Laguna's power.
But Meili wasn't born with it.
She shivered as she remembered how Mama's cursed blood was poured into her open wounds. How odd that something boiling could make her feel so frigid.
She couldn't truly push it from her mind, but she managed to focus on Beatrice—the mana really did feel good. The fact that it came from one of the people who had saved her just made it even sweeter.
Meili idly undid her braid and twirled her hair around her finger. How odd that she was pondering such things while only a hair's-breadth away from the Witch of Envy. She was right next to the world's most powerful, most terrifying being, yet here she was, thinking about how Beatrice was a friendly girl who made her happy.
She knew that she was weird, but this was just ridiculous.
Emilia had said that the Witch of Envy was only interested in Subaru, but Meili still scooted away, even if it was just to remind herself of how scared she was supposed to be—the other Sanctuary residents certainly avoided the area. As an extra layer of protection, she called for a mabeast. A few seconds later, a small, bat-like creature was flapping its wings in front of her. Its demonic red eyes glared hatefully at everything around it sans Meili. Green saliva dribbled from its mouth as it searched the surrounding landscape for a meal. Upon seeing nothing that its new master would allow it to eat, it let loose a blood-curdling screech, causing nearby birds to flee in terror.
Meili giggled and patted its head. "You're a cutie, aren't you?"
The mabeast screeched again. Her smile widened. As she went to pet the underside of its chin, a bit of her purple hair fell in front of her face, so she pushed it to the side…only to realize that it wasn't in her typical braid.
Without even thinking about it, she had given herself a messy version of Beatrice's drill hair.
Meili hastily smoothed it out. "So embarrassing," she muttered. This was the third time she had done that in the last week alone. She hated how she always defaulted to copying people, even with something as trivial as hairstyle.
A few minutes later, Beatrice's mana, previously flowing off of her in a steady stream, abruptly stopped. She clenched her fists and stomped her feet, not bothering to hide her tears.
"Useless, I suppose! A failure of a spirit!"
Unsurprised, Meili reached out and grabbed Beatrice's hand in both of her own. The spirit's nails were digging into her palm, so Meili gently took each finger and pried it apart, replacing it with her own, slightly smaller hand.
"You're not a failure," Meili said quietly. "You're doing everything you can to break through the shadows."
Beatrice grit her teeth. "A mere attempt is not enough, I suppose! Betty needs to save him!"
Meili brushed her thumb over the back of Beatrice's hand. It wasn't the first time they had done this, and it would likely not be the last. "Not everything is your responsibility, you know."
Beatrice scoffed. "Roswaal is too miserable to be useful, and Bubby is stubbornly refusing to wake up, I suppose. As the only capable yin mage remaining, it is up to Betty to free her Subaru, I suppose."
Meili smiled softly. "And knowing how hard you worked for him will make him worry sooo much, so don't be afraid to take a break here and there."
Beatrice blinked, her distress momentarily forgotten. "You're talking like Emilia," she deadpanned.
Meili's smile wavered. "O-oh," she mumbled. "Well, that's nooot a big deal, is it? I bet thaaat—"
A finger covered her lips, accompanied by a "shh." With an exaggerated scowl, Beatrice ordered, "No more masks, I suppose. It's fine to pick up habits from other people—Betty certainly has from her hopeless, annoying contractor—and it's adorable when you do it accidentally. However, deliberately making up your own speech pattern is a disservice to your natural cuteness, in fact."
Natural cuteness? That was almost laughable. Meili was a used-up toy, while Beatrice was…Beatrice. She was perfect in every way.
Meili bit her lip before settling her face into a pout—she wouldn't steal another one of Emilia's mannerisms. "I'm just being meee," she insisted, but the words felt hollow.
"In a sense, that's true, I suppose," Beatrice grudgingly admitted. "You copy people a lot, in fact. Do you remember when you tried to act like Subaru a few months ago, I wonder?"
Meili flushed and dropped her gaze. "I'm sorry," she said for the umpteenth time. "I didn't—"
"—do anything wrong, I suppose," Beatrice finished for her. "You just wanted us to feel better, right?"
Meili refused to lie and say that it was something noble like that. In reality, she was a weak, pathetic girl who couldn't handle Beatrice or Emilia crying, so she had tried to make it stop.
"It was a nice thought," Beatrice continued, "but you hadn't known Subaru for very long, so it just sounded weird, in fact. Subaru's Meili is much better off trying to sound like Meili, I suppose."
Meili absent-mindedly nodded as a reflex, but she didn't agree.
Beatrice shuffled her feet. "Oh…This is, um…In fact, I—Meili is looking very sad, I suppose."
Meili shook her head with a wide smile. "I'm fiiine, don't worry about me!"
"None of that," Beatrice scolded. "That's what Subaru and Emilia say, and it's just silly, I suppose."
The two were silent for a moment. Meili dropped her smile, but she didn't say anything else.
Beatrice bit her lip. "I…This is, um…This is so embarrassing, I suppose, but…you're sad, and when Subaru—and Emilia, I guess—are sad, Betty will often…hug them, o-or even cuddle with them, in fact."
Meili blinked. "What."
Beatrice's face turned crimson, as she spoke rapidly. "It is completely normal and not at all strange, I suppose! Why, it is a privilege to cuddle with a great spirit, in fact! Betty knows that you don't like to be touched, so Betty shall not press the issue, but Betty doesn't like the sadness on your adorable face—not as adorable as Betty's, you see, nope, not at all, Betty will not lose to her little sister, I suppose! Betty is still cuter! But, um, s-sad…Betty is—you are sad, and, um, Betty d-doesn't like seeing that, so Betty would like to…hug you…"
She trailed off by the end, looking as if she wanted the ground to swallow her up.
Meili was equally at a loss for words, especially due to the "little sister" comment. A strange, overwhelming sensation ballooned in her chest. She cleared her throat, her face as red as an appa. "Th-that's, um, really nice, but…"
…But what? "But I don't like to be touched"? If so, why had she let herself be carried by Subaru?
'Subaru's different.'
…But was he? Well, sure, he obviously was special to her, and he was the exception to pretty much everything, but she had also held both Beatrice's and Emilia's hands on more than one occasion. Only in private, of course—she couldn't forget when they had told her how inappropriate it was to hold someone's hand.
Still, if she could do that, then surely, she could hug a lovable girl like Beatrice.
She nodded to herself, filled with resolution. She prepared to respond in the affirmative, but something stopped her.
Beatrice was crying again.
They were not loud, angry tears full of frustration and inadequacy.
They were silent, steadily cascading down her pale cheeks like an ethereal waterfall. An angel in the form of a child was baring her soul to Meili behind the thinnest veil imaginable.
"Y-you're sad, right? Betty will m-make it better with a hug, I suppose! A-and you won't let go and leave Betty alone, i-in fact! Fath—Subaru will be…right…h-here?"
Beatrice had trailed off as Meili moved forward and embraced her.
It was the first time Meili had ever initiated a hug.
She found that she quite liked it. Beatrice wasn't much bigger than her and seemed so very fragile, yet Meili felt secure. The ballooning feeling in her chest reached its peak, rapidly radiating warmth throughout her body.
"I'm right here," Meili whispered, just as Subaru had. "There's no one around to hurt you. It's just us."
Beatrice buried her face in Meili's shoulder. "R-right, I suppose…Just us, in fact."
"No Subaru" hung in the air, unsaid.
For all that Meili missed Subaru, she could admit that she didn't know him very well. She couldn't imagine what Beatrice must be feeling.
She wasn't sure where the impulse came from, but she drew small circles on Beatrice's back. "He'll come back soon," she said quietly. "It's not like him to leave you alone for long, so he's working really hard to come back to you. I bet that the first thing he'll do when he sees you is make some weird pose and say, 'I need a Beako hug!'"
Beatrice let out a laugh amidst her tears. Her tiny fists gripped Meili's pajamas, making the younger girl grin.
Neither were quite sure how long they stayed like that for, but it didn't really matter. An unspoken agreement had passed between them—this would not be their last hug.
After all, in times of strife, sisters needed to stick together.
'A sister…like Elsa?'
…That didn't sound right. Beatrice wasn't like Elsa.
Beatrice was warm. Beatrice was safe. Beatrice was there for her. Beatrice was her friend.
Beatrice was…her sister?
Wait, if Beatrice was her sister, then did that make—
"You two are sooo cute together!"
Emilia walked up to them with the biggest grin on her face. Meili expected Beatrice to jump back and deny that anything was happening, but the spirit did no such thing, instead saying, "As expected of Betty, I suppose. Betty was hand-crafted to be adorable and perfect, in fact."
Emilia's smile wavered when Beatrice spoke of her origin, but she quickly put it back on. "Well, that's one thing that woman got right."
"What did you say, I wonder?"
"Ah, 'tis nothing."
Emilia froze at her slip, as Beatrice narrowed her eyes. She hadn't said a thing to anyone about her mental connection to Satella, and only Subaru knew that she was getting her memories back, but she suspected that Beatrice knew most, if not all of it. After all, how else could she have any idea about what was going on inside of the Witch's Tomb?
'You've also said that Beatrice has been cute since the day that she was born, which implies that you had been there.'
Emilia frowned at Satella's quip, both because of the realization that yes, she had done that, but also because of how pained Satella's voice sounded. It was clear that her other half was doing everything she could to hold off the Witch of Envy, and a bit of dry humor was one of the few things preventing her from going insane.
They needed to save her, and fast. It wasn't fair what she was going through.
Beatrice scowled, bringing Emilia back to reality. She detached herself from Meili and muttered. "Nothing indeed, I suppose. You've never told Betty anything, in fact."
'She absolutely knows.'
Emilia wasn't sure which one of them thought that.
She sighed. "Beatrice, I—I promise that we'll talk soon, okay?"
Beatrice looked taken aback, clearly having expected her words to be brushed off. "Y-yes, that is acceptable, I suppose."
Emilia couldn't help but think that it would be nice to talk to someone who knew about that time. Well, someone that wasn't in her own mind and was also herself in another body, that is.
…She really was crazy, wasn't she?
Emilia focused on Beatrice and pulled out several envelopes. "Can you deliver these? I'd go with you, but…" Her eyes flicked to the Witch's Tomb. "…I need to stay close by."
"So does Betty, I suppose," Beatrice grouched, but she took the envelopes, nonetheless. There were five of them—one to Geuse, one to Otto, and the others to each of the other Royal Candidates.
After Emilia had failed to save Crusch and her Camp, the political landscape was a mess. Emilia had felt that it was more important than ever for the remaining Royal Candidates to stick together. They were reluctant at first—Priscilla didn't want to deal with her more than necessary, Felt was still upset on Reinhard's behalf, and Anastasia was concerned about ulterior, economic motives—but it ended up working out for the best. Over the last three months, they had opened up to each other, eventually gaining a greater understanding of their goals and aspirations. Emilia hadn't mentioned the frozen elves, and she was sure that the others were hiding information as well, but the tension between them had slowly dissolved.
While not her main motivation for it, the camaraderie had slightly increased her political standing. Some claimed that she was just getting closer to the other candidates so that she could stab them in the back like she did with Crusch, whereas others recognized a genuine attempt at establishing rapport. Regardless of the public's perspective, it had worked; Emilia had made new friends.
Her soft smile faded as Beatrice noticed something.
"What's that, I wonder?"
Emilia hid two more envelopes behind her back and took on an aloof tone. "Do not concern yourself with these."
Beatrice huffed. "Whatever, I suppose. I'll deliver your letters." She turned to Meili. "Do you want to come, I wonder? Betty thinks that a change of scenery would be nice, I suppose."
Meili had been silent during the entire exchange, and she jolted a bit as the attention fell on her. "But what about Subaru?"
Beatrice averted her eyes. "Let's face it; he's not coming out any time soon, I suppose. We can take an hour off so long as Emilia stands watch."
Meili bit her lip but eventually nodded. Meekly, she asked, "Can we see Petra, too?"
Beatrice quickly agreed but said that it would have to be after they finished delivering the letters. She grabbed the other girl's hand but was stopped by a "Hold it right there, young lady" from Emilia.
"Meili needs to change first," she said. "You can't take her to meet with the nobility in pajamas."
She didn't need Roswaal's training to know that.
Beatrice pouted. She had hoped that Emilia wouldn't notice. "But Betty's Meili looks so cute in them, I suppose!"
Both Emilia and Meili mouthed the words "Betty's Meili," but neither commented—it was likely one of those things that Beatrice let slip and didn't realize until days later. Vehement denials would undoubtedly follow.
Emilia ruffled Beatrice's blonde curls, giggling as the spirit tried to bat her hand away. "Meili's not a doll," she chided. "You can't just play dress-up with her."
"Fine, I suppose," Beatrice grunted before sending Meili off to get changed. When the purple-haired girl hurried back a few minutes later, Beatrice said, "Now, it is time for Betty the great spirit to become Betty the pack mule, I suppose. Are you happy, I wonder?"
Emilia grinned. "Mhm. I am. Thank you, Beatrice. I love you."
Beatrice blushed. "Th-that is…and the time is just…gah! I love you too, I suppose!"
With that, she and Meili vanished, leaving an utterly radiant Emilia behind.
It was the first time that Beatrice had said "I love you" to Emilia.
She would cherish that moment forever.
The first person that they met with was Anastasia Hoshin. The self-proclaimed "greedy gal" had taken a slow and steady approach to her campaign, creating and renovating a plethora of businesses. She proved that she could—and would—improve the economy.
While she had once lagged behind, she was now one of the forerunners in the Royal Selection.
'Well, she's not going to win, I suppose,' Beatrice thought—a bit aggressively, perhaps, but she hasn't had her contractor's mana in months, so she was a mess.
…The mana wasn't the issue. She was just lying.
She was a wreck because she missed him dearly.
She was surrounded by people, yet she had never felt so alone.
She cleared both her throat and her thoughts, grabbing Anastasia's attention. The merchant sat at her desk beside her knight, Julius, doing paperwork.
Anastasia lit up. "Well, if it ain't little Beatrice! Ya got somethin' for me?"
Beatrice crossed her arms. "So, even others perceive a great spirit merely as 'Mail Carrier Betty,' I suppose."
Anastasia laughed. "You're a cutie, ya know that? Here, gimme the goods. It's been too long since Emilia's last letter."
"It's only been two days, in fact."
"Did I stutter?"
Beatrice glared at the grinning Royal Candidate, but her heart wasn't into it. She pointedly avoided looking at Julius as she said, "By the way, Betty still has zero interest in your knight, I suppose! His Divine Protection of Gathering Spirits has no effect on Betty's maidenly heart! It doesn't flutter, I swear!"
Julius smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. "That is good. I am afraid that I am unable to reciprocate a maiden's affection when my heart, soul, and loyalty belongs to Lady Anastasia." A bit of mirth bled through his sorrow. "Besides, even ignoring your apparent age, I am loath to earn your father's ire by pursuing you."
Beatrice gasped. "How did you hear about…Curse you, Emilia!" At the subsequent stares and grins, she hurriedly said, "Th-that is to say, Betty is not a child! Betty is older than you, in fact!"
"Right," Julius said drily. Moving on, he said, "As always, please give my utmost appreciation to Lady Emilia. I will never forget what she has done for me."
Beatrice sobered at that. Of course, that would still weigh heavily on his heart.
The Sin Archbishop of Wrath, Sirius, had killed one of Julius's best friends. In his mind, Emilia had avenged Felix.
In Emilia's mind, she had killed her mother.
Beatrice averted her eyes. "Betty will acquiesce to your request, I suppose."
Meanwhile, Anastasia lightly backhanded Julius's arm. "That's too much appreciation," she chided. "Can't go around givin' my rivals the upper hand, ya know?"
He smiled thinly. "Right. Of course."
She frowned and softened her voice. "Hey." Her eyes met his, as she gave a fond expression. "I'm here for ya, remember? We'll talk it through when it's jus' us. Tha' over there was jus' my way of sayin' ta not burden Emilia's kids."
At that, Beatrice made a loud noise of protest, while Meili—who had remained quiet up until that point—meeped.
Anastasia covered her mouth as she snickered. "Ah, my apologies," she said airily. "I had absolutely no idea of the effect my words would have."
Beatrice, looking remarkably like an appa, didn't deign Anastasia with a response. She grabbed Meili's hand and vanished, leaving the chuckling duo behind.
"Stupid, stupid, stupid, I suppose! They're both doofuses, in fact!"
Beatrice paced in the foyer of Priscilla's mansion, ranting all the while. Al looked on from a nearby couch, likely feeling both amused and bemused. "Who, Anastasia and Julius?"
Beatrice glared at Al. "No, Volcanica and Reinhard. Yes, Anastasia and Julius, I suppose!"
"Heh, now you're talking like Subaru again."
"You're a doofus, too, in fact! An absolute dunderhead!"
"What's this? When did Emilia get here?"
"Grrr, I suppose!"
Meili didn't say anything, as a soft smile lit up her face. She almost wiped it away to replace it with a massive grin, but she couldn't bring herself to do it.
Things may have been rough with Subaru gone, but she felt so warm around Beatrice and Emilia. She wondered how nice it would feel when he came back to them.
Beatrice huffed impatiently and waved one of the letters in front of her face. "Betty has something for the redhead, I suppose. Where is she?"
"Baking," Al deadpanned.
"…Baking."
Al chuckled. The sound rattled around his helmet. "It's crazy, I know. The prideful, crazy-strong Priscilla is making cookies for commoners."
"That…that doesn't make sense at all! It's—"
"Out of character? Absurd? Nonsensical without context?"
"Yes, I suppose!"
Al chuckled. "Well, it makes sense to her, and that's what matters to me."
He knew what was happening in the kitchen, having just left there. Priscilla, dressed as elegantly as ever, pounded dough with a furious expression on her face. She raged at being treated like "a common brute," saying that she'd "rather die than perform such a mundane task."
But Priscilla, for all of her pride, was the most awe-inspiring person that he knew. She had stopped her task for a moment, wiped the sweat off her brow, and declared, "But to be controlled…'Tis unthinkable. I shall permit it no longer. I, Priscilla Barielle, will prove that I am the rightful queen of this land. I will not let a Witch dictate my actions, nor shall I accept assistance from such a monster. I shall conquer destiny and reach a glorious future…even if the path to attain it is demeaning."
Back in the foyer, Al smiled fondly behind his helmet. "She may hate it, but hey, her 'be unexpected' strat seems to be working." His head turned towards Meili, so Beatrice shook her head, indicating that the younger girl didn't know about Pandora. He nodded in acknowledgment, choosing to remain vague. "Well, you can call her crazy, but I just think she's smart as hell. Screw luck; the princess is a fucking genius."
"Yeah, yeah, I suppose," Beatrice grumbled. "Are you done fawning over her, I wonder?"
"Nope. She's also brave for putting aside her pride. She's drop-dead gorgeous, has massive—"
"It was rhetorical, in fact," Beatrice said drily. She handed over the letter, so Al took it. "Now, shoo. Get out of Betty's sight, I suppose."
"But you're in my home," Al pointed out. Beatrice didn't care. She and Meili vanished, leaving him behind.
The moment that they disappeared, his shoulders sagged a bit. "The poor kid," he muttered. "You better come back soon, bro. Not sure how much more she can take without you."
"Another letter? Shit, Emilia's fast."
Felt blinked in confusion as Beatrice handed her an envelope. The spirit was a common visitor to Astrea Chateau, but it still kind of freaked Felt out to have a little girl appear out of nowhere, shoving a piece of paper into her face.
"I should be used to you appearing like that by now," Felt grumbled. "Reinhard pulls this kinda crap all the ti—"
"You called for me, my lady?"
Felt yelped, nearly jumping out of her skin. Reinhard kneeled before her, diligently awaiting her next order.
"Don't do that, you asshole!" she exclaimed, pounding her fists onto his forehead. It felt like she was trying to smash a boulder. "Can't you just walk over here like everyone else?!"
"I did walk," he pointed out. "It just happened to be a bit faster than some of my peers."
She groaned but didn't bother pressing further. "You're really something else, Rein."
He smiled thinly. "That is true. I am a mon—"
"Not a monster," Felt scolded. "You're just a guy who does things a little differently."
Reinhard bowed his head, still kneeling. "Lady Felt—"
"Just Felt."
"My apologies, Just Felt." He grinned a bit at her obvious annoyance. "You have never been one for euphemisms and mincing words. Why must you insist on these…alternate phrases?"
'Because I can't stand how sad you look.'
"Because I can't stand how sad you look."
…Damn it. That one was supposed to stay in her head, and she was supposed to say something else out loud.
And yet, his smile reached his eyes when she said that. Maybe she should tell him how she really felt a bit more often.
Beatrice cleared her throat, causing all eyes to fall on her. She raised a single eyebrow and held out the letter again as if to say, "Are you going to keep wasting Betty's time, or will you take this darn thing, I wonder?"
Felt gave a sheepish smile and gingerly took the letter. "Eheh, sorry 'bout that. Thanks for bringing this, Beatrice and…um, I don't think I've met you before?"
From behind Beatrice, a slightly smaller girl put her hands behind her back and rocked on her heels with a massive, stretched-out grin. "Hiya, Miss! I'm Meili!"
Felt frowned. She knew of Meili from Emilia's letters, but the girl in front of her seemed so…different. Even without Emilia's gushing, Felt could always tell when someone was being fake.
She also saw that Meili was practically hiding behind Beatrice.
Felt leaned forward ever-so-slightly. Meili leaned back just as much.
'Not another one…'
It seemed that Lugunican society had failed yet another innocent person in the worst manner possible. Once again, Felt reaffirmed her vow to rebuild this country from the ground up.
Under her rule, something like this would never happen again.
The blonde candidate looked at Beatrice. "Take good care of that one," she said solemnly.
Beatrice turned up her nose. "Betty doesn't need you to tell me that, I suppose. Betty will look after her little—after the purple thing to the best of her ability, in fact."
Felt grinned. "Good. I don't want any of my future subjects to live in a shitty situation."
Meili giggled. "Wow, Miss! You're sooo silly, thinking you can beat Emilia!"
"Heh, I like your spunk, kid, but I know I'm gonna win. I've been working my ass off, honing my skills as the Lion King. I've even gained the loyalty of dozens of territories."
"I don't care." Meili put on a stubborn frown—or perhaps this one was genuine. Felt couldn't be sure. "Emilia is the best, and soon, everyone will see that she's the nicest, smartest, and most incredible candidate. She's way better than some red-eyed blonde."
Felt wasn't fazed, even at the comment about her royal blood. "Look, kid—"
"I'm not a kid."
"Okay, let me start over. Look, Meili." At Meili's approving nod, Felt continued, barely holding in an eye-roll. As much as she hated to admit it, her diplomatic training was useful. "I like Emilia. Really, I do. It took some time—and lots of convincing on Reinhard's part—but I managed to let go of my issues with her. The blame lies elsewhere, you know?"
Meili didn't know. She didn't see how it was possible to even consider blaming the nicest woman in the world for anything, let alone whatever Felt was talking about.
With a sigh, Felt said, "Emilia lost a lot of ground because of the…unfortunate incident with Crusch and her Camp."
Reinhard grimaced at the reminder, but he wasn't capable of expressing his grief any further. At least, not around people that weren't Felt.
"She's nice, yeah, and she's done some great things, but a lot of people blame her. Even if they're like me and got over it, she's been completely absent the last few months. Anastasia and I have been competing with each other, not Emilia.
"The Royal Selection isn't decided by who you think is the best, but by everyone at large. Right now, she's fallen so far behind, I can't see her winning outside of actually killing the Witch of Envy, and she's running out of time for that."
The logic was sound, but Meili was a child, and the stubbornness of youth was something special indeed. "That's nice and all, but Emilia will win. She and Subaru will be the best rulers this stupid country has ever seen."
Felt smiled, barely refraining from reaching out and ruffling Meili's purple hair. "Damn, I'm starting to really like you! …But I'll still win the Royal Selection."
Meili huffed, mirroring Beatrice perfectly. Without a word, she grabbed Beatrice's hand, and they both disappeared.
Felt chuckled. "Damn, was I that stubborn as a kid?"
"In all fairness," Reinhard said as he stood up, "you're still that stubborn…and sixteen is still a child in my eyes."
Felt rolled her eyes. "Ah, shut up, Rein."
"Does My Lady not like to be teased?"
Felt beamed. "That's your second joke today! Er, I think? Yeah, it was a joke! We'll make a knight out of you yet, Rein."
Turning her head left and right to make sure that the hallway was empty, she grabbed his arm and hugged it, leaning into him and holding him close. "Hey, Rein?"
"Yes, Felt?"
She closed her eyes and smiled softly. "I'm glad you're here."
Ever since he had opened up to her about his suicide attempt all those years ago, she had made sure to tell him those words every single day. She needed him to know that he was appreciated and loved.
More than that…she wasn't sure what she'd do without him.
He turned and wrapped his other arm around her, knowing full well what would happen if he dared tell anyone about this interaction. "Me too, Felt…Me too."
Meili blinked and found herself outside of the mansion. It was once owned by Roswaal, but now, it belonged to Emilia. Meili didn't have enough background information to understand why that transaction had occurred, but it felt a bit weird. Roswaal felt sad, so he gave up all of his possessions? Wasn't he sad before that, too? Because he lost control, he was upset, therefore, he gave up even more control?
It made no sense to Meili, but she always was a bit slow, anyway. She didn't want to frustrate Beatrice or Emilia by bringing it up.
…But frustrate Felt? Or Anastasia? Meili would love to do that. Anyone who thought that they were better than Emilia was just dumb.
A small hand was waved in front of her eyes. "Earth to Meili, I suppose. We have four more letters to deliver, in fact."
Meili rubbed the back of her neck. "Sorry, I—wait, four?"
She knew that she was dumb, but she still remembered Elsa's lessons on how to count.
Beatrice gave a smug look and held up multiple envelopes. "Emilia needed these letters delivered, but she didn't give them to Betty, in fact. Such an odd girl. Betty knew that it would be prudent to swipe them, I suppose."
Meili poked Beatrice's cheek, causing the latter to pout. "That's mean," Meili scolded. "Letters are personal."
Well, she thought that they were. She didn't know how to read or write, but letters were sealed in an envelope for a reason, weren't they?
Beatrice scoffed. "It's not like Betty is going to read the letter, I suppose. It just needs to be delivered to…" She looked at the front of the envelope and paled. She turned away and wiped her eyes with her sleeve. "Th-that is to say, Betty will be giving these back to Emilia, in fact."
Meili cocked her head to the side. "Huh? But why?"
Beatrice looked down at the letters and grimaced. Written in a fairly neat script were two names, one on each letter.
Crusch Karsten
Mother Fortuna
Sometime later, Beatrice quietly said, "I'm giving them back to Emilia because she wrote them for herself."
She vanished, appearing again two letters lighter. "Let's go," she said flatly. Meili happily obliged, eager to avoid the awkwardness that had descended upon them.
"We shall drop off the first letter outside of the recipient's door," Beatrice declared. "The merchant will receive his next, I suppose."
"Shouldn't you hand it to him?" Meili asked, eagerly accepting the shift in topic. "The first one, that is. It's to…Geuse, right? Emilia talks about him."
Beatrice waved a hand dismissively. "Betty will see him later, I suppose," she said stiffly. "Then we'll go visit your little friend, I suppose."
Meili perked up. "Petra?"
"Yes, I suppose. Betty still doesn't know what you see in her. The child is not fun to play with, you know. Not at all."
"Uh-huh." A sly smile appeared on Meili's face. "It's nice to see you make more friends."
"Betty is not her friend, I suppose!"
"Then why do you spend so much time with her?"
"B-because Betty gets held up with—that is to say, let us go inside, I suppose!"
With her cheeks burning bright, Beatrice activated Door Crossing and brought Meili inside. They appeared in a hallway near one of the guest rooms.
She walked up to the door and cleared her throat. "Betty will be dropping off the letter now," she said, a bit louder than normal. "B-but Betty has no desire to see Geuse, I suppose! S-so he better not come out!"
No response.
Beatrice sighed, but whether it was out of relief or disappointment, she wasn't sure. She put the letter on the doormat and turned around, coming face to face with a somewhat-familiar woman.
"If you will excuse me," Beatrice said impatiently, "Betty must continue being a pack mule for Emilia, I suppose. Such a lowly task for a great—"
"Miss Beatrice?"
She shot her head upon hearing that voice—more specifically, the tone and inflections. The woman had green eyes and chestnut-brown hair, but Beatrice knew who it was.
"Geuse?" she called out with a bit of hesitation.
The woman—man?—nodded. "It is good to see you, Miss Beatrice. I had thought that you were avoiding me."
She was, but that was beside the point. She eyed him warily. "This is weird, I suppose. What happened to your other body, I wonder? The brown-haired one."
He looked down at himself. He wasn't admiring it like many men would; he was simply appreciating who it reminded him of.
"It resembles someone quite dear to me," he said wistfully. "A woman whom I have always viewed as my sister."
Beatrice visibly cringed. "That's even worse, I suppose! You change your clothes in that body!"
Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Meili stiffening, so she took up a protective stance. She knew that Geuse wouldn't harm them, but she still wanted Meili to feel safe.
Geuse blinked. "Miss Beatrice, I am four hundred years old—"
"Ew ew ew ew ew!"
"—and I am in mourning. The woman that I love is dead. I am not lying when I say that this body holds no erotic appeal to me."
Her eyes softened a bit, but she still didn't move any closer. "A-ah, I see…but it's still weird, I suppose."
He smiled thinly. "I see. I will be sure to use a male body when we next meet."
"Thank you…I think."
An uncomfortable silence fell upon the two. At length, Geuse said, "I cannot apologize for my actions all those years ago." Beatrice narrowed her eyes, but she let him continue, nonetheless. "To say that I am sorry implies that I could be forgiven, but that is impossible. As such, I do not seek forgiveness. I can only attempt to make amends."
"Geuse…"
Meili reached out to grab Beatrice's hand but pulled back at the last moment, not wanting to make a scene. She awkwardly patted Beatrice's back instead.
"You should have told me," Beatrice said quietly. "It was so lonely back then. If only I knew that they were watching over me…I think I would have been a bit happier."
He bowed his head. He didn't deny it.
They had never been the closest, but Geuse's visits had been her light in the darkness. His wondrous stories and comforting smile had gotten her through the destruction of her home.
…But it wasn't enough.
Back then, she had never smiled. She had never laughed. Her mother had been comatose, Roswaal had been broken, and Ryuzu had just been placed in a crystal. She had been alone.
"And yet, if you had just told me…"
Maybe things would have been better.
'Then again,' she mused, 'the grass is always greener on the other side.'
Her sorrow had been deep, dark, and inescapable. Would a bit of awareness have truly helped? She didn't know. She wanted to believe that even the thought of Subaru and Satella could bring endless warmth, but it didn't work like that.
According to Subaru, Geuse was just following orders. Subaru was, in his own words, "a pathetic, cowardly piece of shit" who was too afraid to know how she had felt about him, so he had ordered Geuse to remain silent. Geuse wasn't really at fault.
So, maybe…just maybe…
"…Betty will knock on your door for your next letter, I suppose."
Geuse looked shocked, but a glowing smile soon lit up his face. The fact that a centuries-old man wore the face of a young woman—a child compared to him—still creeped Beatrice out, but at least he had no malicious or filthy intent.
Still, she needed to get out of there; the situation was creeping Meili out. She hastily excused herself, grabbed Meili's hand, and appeared in Otto's office. He yelped and jumped in his seat, putting a hand over his heart and sighing once he realized who it was.
"I'll never get used to that," he grumbled. "Can't you use the door like a normal person?"
"I did," Beatrice said, "just not to get into your office, I suppose."
He protested further, but she didn't listen. She put the last letter on his desk, saying, "More instructions from Emilia, I suppose. Hop to it, 'PR Guy.'"
"Can't you at least say 'please'?"
"Yes, I suppose. Please stop being an irritating pest and shoo away, I suppose."
"That isn't what I meant, and you know it!"
Otto slumped back in his chair, taking a lengthy swig from his drink. It looked like a standard water canteen, but Beatrice suspected that it was hiding something stronger. After an impressive thirty seconds, he slammed it down on the desk and belched.
Beatrice wrinkled her nose. "How irresponsible, I suppose. One should not get drunk on the job, in fact."
"I'm n-not drunk," he slurred, his every movement working to prove him wrong. "This job is just stressful, you know? There's only eight-to-nine months left in the Royal Selection, but Emilia hasn't made a single public appearance after that mess with Wrath a few months back."
"Because she can't leave the Sanctuary, I suppose."
"You can take her out easily," he reminded her. "Didn't you say that yin magic can bypass the barrier?"
"…She won't leave the Sanctuary. She needs to wait for Subaru."
"And I get that," Otto placated with his palms out in front of him, "but not everyone does—most don't even know that Sir Subaru is missing. I'm having to go out there and say that no, the silver-haired half-elf with deep knowledge of the Witch's Cult isn't planning something nefarious; she's just unavailable for three months straight! She's literally the only survivor out of hundreds of people, yet her only statement was made in private. Now, because she's not here, I have to mitigate the damage on my own. That's my job, sure, but I'm supposed to be telling her what to say, and she says it, but that's not happening, so it's all on me. In other words, this job is stressful!"
To punctuate his words, he took another long drink. A bit of paper slipped off the canteen, revealing a label for a well-known brand of whiskey. He narrowed his eyes at Beatrice as if daring her to refute any of his statements.
She did, of course. It wasn't because she disagreed. She just liked bullying Otto.
As for Meili…She was experiencing something quite strange.
She stood towards the entrance of the room, not too far from Beatrice, but everything was blurred. The sound was distorted, so she could only perceive what was in front of her.
"Magnificent. You truly have turned out wonderfully."
Speaking to Meili with a smile on her face was a child with platinum hair and sapphire eyes. She glowed with an ethereal light; her hair was like a white-hot flame, illuminating them both. Meili couldn't look away, feeling the strangest warmth bubbling in her chest.
She felt the same as when she looked at Beatrice.
The girl glanced down at herself with a contemplative expression. "In this worldline, I prefer to appear a bit older, but it hasn't seemed to make much of a difference. So, maybe…at least, around you…Well, there's no reason not to appear my own age—or, at least, the age that I became what I am now. It truly feels like my age, you know?"
Nine, maybe ten. The girl was as old as Meili.
Meili smiled widely, hiding her discomfort behind a façade as solid as rock. A strange feeling was running through her, like she was saying hello to an old friend.
It was freaking her out.
"Hiya, Miss!" she chirped—her default greeting. "Mind telling me whaaat's going on with all the blurry stuff?"
The girl tilted her head to the side. It was a deceptively human action, typically performed unconsciously when experiencing confusion. However, it was clear that this was deliberate; her neck was at far too steep an angle. Her long, vibrant hair fell in front of her unnaturally bright eyes, but she didn't brush it away.
"'Blurry stuff'?" she questioned. "Your eyes must be deceiving you. It's just you and me, engaging in an intimate discourse."
"Right, yeah! Veeery intimate!" In a much louder voice, she called out, "Isn't that right, Beatrice?"
Beatrice didn't look. Her conversation with Otto sounded like it was traversing through water.
"She cannot hear you," the girl murmured. "She cannot see you. She cannot touch you. Right now, she doesn't even know that you're here."
At that, Meili used every ounce of her mental fortitude to hide her panic, but she had a feeling that the girl saw right through it.
"Truly wonderful, is it not? Their minds, their perception…It's all so malleable. With careful manipulation, as well as some…assistance, I may as well have reality itself in my hands." At that, her serene smile dropped, being replaced with a small frown. Her voice, previously ethereal and angelic, now seemed mostly human. "Sorry about that. I got careless and revealed a bit too much. I just…I got excited, I guess—fell back into some old habits. I'm just so used to telling you everything, you know?"
Meili didn't know! She had no idea what was happening or what this girl was talking about!
Suddenly, the girl closed her fist, and everything was red, so red, and blood and brain matter splattered on Meili's face while bile and intensities painted the walls and—
"Right now, she doesn't even know that you're here." The girl's smile was serene, unchanging, emotionless. "It's just you and I, my old friend."
One moment, they were standing apart from each other at equal height. The next, Pandora placed her hand on Meili's cheek in a mockery of a fond gesture. Cold seeped through Meili, spreading like cracks in a stone, chiseling away at her defensive mask.
The girl's touch felt like Mama's.
Meili wrenched herself away, breathing heavily. Everything rushed back to her, sending her reeling. She hadn't felt this filthy in months. Those terrible, cold hands, the claws piercing her, being transformed into a thousand insects, feeling cold and dead like the lump of flesh she had been turned into…
With a single touch, Meili remembered what it was like to be nothing more than a toy.
A pale, small hand appeared in front of her face before it was quickly retracted. "My deepest apologies," the girl murmured. It sounded sincere. "I am a slow, useless girl, you see, so I had forgotten that most people are not capable of being touched by me. How unfortunate."
Meili's chest heaved, but she managed to stand up on shaky legs. Eventually, she caught her breath just enough to ask, "Wh-who are you? Why d-do you feel so familiar?"
The girl's eyes lit up. "Ah, so the miasma worked?"
"Wh-what?" Meili asked, unable to hear properly over her own heavy breathing.
"Do not concern yourself with the mutterings of an ungrateful child. You may call me Mystery. That's what my treasured one does in a doomed worldline."
"Mystery…"
Meili's heart pounded, but she couldn't find it in herself to be angry at "Mystery." There hadn't been any intention to hurt her, right? Mystery was just trying to show that she cared. Mystery was her friend.
Meili frowned. Where was this faith coming from? It wasn't like her to trust a stranger.
'She's not a stranger,' her mind whispered, but she shoved that thought to the side. She may be a slow, stupid child, but her memory was excellent. Unless she had somehow known Mystery before she was three years old, these feelings were a lie.
Mystery shook her head, correctly guessing what Meili was feeling. "I am your friend," she said. Her voice snaked in and out of Meili's ears, coaxing her to listen. "Or, at least, I once was. I wish to rekindle that relationship. There's nothing wrong with craving companionship from a kindred soul, is there?"
Meili had so many questions, but she found herself shaking her head. "There's not," she said quietly. "At least, I don't think there is."
Mystery's serene smile faltered for a moment before picking back up. "What you and I have experienced is a torture beyond torture. An unfathomable pain, only understood by the victims. Even the one we admire most cannot begin to comprehend it." She closed her eyes and lost herself in memories. "My treasured one is full of scars. He has been mutilated, tortured, and…Well, that is his story to tell. Nevertheless, despite his pain, he cannot understand you like I can."
Part of Meili wanted to deny it. Subaru was Subaru. He had saved her life. He could always understand her.
A phantom pain burned through her core, making her queasy. Subaru may be compassionate, but he didn't freeze up if someone touched him on the shoulder, did he? He didn't feel terror upon meeting someone new. He didn't wear extra layers—even in warm weather—so that it was harder for someone to tear off. She cared so much for him…but he didn't get her. At least, not that part of her.
…What the heck was she thinking? It didn't matter if he truly understood that part of her.
In the short time that she had known him, Subaru had put her on the path to healing. He didn't need to have lived through the exact same thing that she had—she didn't want anyone to experience that ever again.
So, why were those words affecting her so much? What was it about this girl that made her want to listen?
Why was Mystery so…creepy?
Meili took a shaky step back from Mystery. "Wh-what do you want from me?"
Mystery smiled thinly. "What do I want? Is it not obvious? I crave your companionship in my final days."
"Are you sick?" Meili asked before she could stop herself. "S-sorry, that was—"
Mystery cut her off. "I am sick in the head, sick in the heart, and sick in the soul. Only one person can save me, but until then…" She looked over at the grey-haired merchant sitting behind the desk, running a hand through her hair as she did so. "In truth, this is my story, and it had reached its climax long ago. Now, as I eagerly await its resolution, I wish to spend my time with those I care about."
Even though Meili was shaking and creeped out and horribly, utterly confused, she couldn't help but want to give Mystery a hug. The poor thing tried to hide it, but she looked so sad. The light radiating off of her made Meili think of a fallen angel, lamenting the paradise that she had lost.
Meili shuffled her feet. "So, you c-care about me, for some reason? And, you just, um, you want to be my friend?"
Mystery nodded. "Your companionship would mean more to me than you realize."
Meili liked having friends—even strange ones. After all, it wasn't as if she herself was exactly normal. Besides, she had been close to Elsa, right? And—from what she had seen—Subaru wasn't exactly stable. Even Beatrice and Emilia had issues that they were working through, too. Befriending a troubled girl like Mystery wouldn't be too bad.
And…if Mystery wasn't lying, and she could somehow understand Meili…
"I…I would like to be your friend, actually." She wrung her hands awkwardly in front of her. "So, um, how do these things work? Do we shake on it?"
"That depends. Do you wish to be touched by a monster?"
Mama flashed before her mind. "Not particularly."
Mystery clapped her hands together. "Then, our words and emotions shall bind us. Magnificent. I shall visit you soon, my old friend."
Meili nodded quickly, almost giving herself whiplash. "Y-yeah, I'll, um, see you soon. Now, can you, um…" She not-so-subtly jerked her head towards Beatrice, causing Mystery to giggle. It was an unearthly, hollow sound. Sure, it was pretty. Cute, even. However, Meili had never heard anything more forced.
It bewildered her, but she wanted to make Mystery laugh for real.
Mystery's smile stretched as far as it could go, but it didn't reach her eyes. "I will grant the spirit her awareness, yes, but I must request that you do not speak of this encounter to anyone nor make any reference of my existence. Is that acceptable?" At Meili's nod, Mystery relaxed a bit. "Magnificent. I was not looking forward to doing this a third time."
"A third time? What—"
"Is that acceptable?"
Meili blinked, feeling a little dizzy. She barely managed to affirm that yes, she was fine not telling anyone about their newfound friendship. She couldn't blame Mystery for being embarrassed to be her friend.
"How wonderful," Mystery breathed. "Your feelings are so powerful. Every thought, every action…I wish that I was still like you."
Meili didn't understand how anyone could want to be like her, but she had difficulty comprehending the other girl as a whole.
Mystery looked to the side, off into the distance. "Soon," she whispered. "He will save me soon."
With that, she vanished, and the world resumed.
Meili didn't know whether to smile or cry.
In her tent in the Sanctuary, Emilia sat alone. She drenched herself in memories—her only comfort in her silent abode.
Beatrice and Meili were absent. Rem and Ram were off with Garfiel, telling stories about Subaru and making fun of him, respectively. Satella didn't speak—she was too busy holding off the Witch of Envy.
It was only Emilia, so she let her mask fall.
There were no tears. She had made a promise. She wouldn't cry until her betrothed had returned.
She just felt so alone.
She closed her fist around the green pyroxene crystal hanging from her neck. "He may be gone…so where are you, Puck? What happened to your promise to always stay by my side?"
Why did he do nothing but sleep?
She had checked with both Beatrice and Roswaal. There were no curses upon the crystal. No blocks prevented him from coming out. He simply felt no need to wake up, believing that she was fine.
But she wasn't fine.
Her right hand shook just above her chest. Not for the first time, she sent her thoughts to him. 'I'm not okay, and you're just staying there! Where were you when I needed you most?! Why won't you act like the father that you claim to be?!'
She took a long, heavy breath and said aloud, "Just wake up, Puck!"
To her shock, the crystal glowed.
Dozens of blue orbs coalesced into a single entity. After a few seconds, they morphed to form a painfully familiar, catlike spirit.
Puck put a paw over his mouth and yawned. "That was quite a good nap," he mumbled, still drowsy. He cracked an eye open and glanced at Emilia. "Sorry about that, Lia. It's not often that I'm out for a whole day."
Silence.
Emilia's entire body trembled. Her thoughts raced, so she tried to latch onto them, but only one stuck out.
"A day," she breathed. Her voice cracked with how forced it was. "Just a day."
He winked and grinned. "Of course! I never miss my good night hug from my precious daughter."
The words made her feel sick. "Did you…hear me calling you?"
He rubbed the back of his neck. "Er, I knew that you were a bit sad, but I also knew that Subaru would be able to help you. And look, I was right! You're all…good? L-Lia, what's wrong?"
Emilia had slammed her fist against the nearby wooden desk, displaying anger unlike any that she had shown before.
Against Pandora, she had felt grief and anger. Against Puck, she felt betrayal.
"A day," she repeated, her voice shrill. "A day, a day, just one day?!"
"Lia—"
"Don't you dare 'Lia' me, Puck! It's been three months!"
Puck slammed his jaw shut with an audible click. Disbelief stretched across his face, but he didn't have time to say anything before Emilia began her tirade.
"Three months! I've been calling you for three months! Where were you when I needed you most?! Where were you when I cried myself to sleep?! Where were you when Mother died?!"
"'Mother'? What—"
"I killed her, Puck! I killed Mother Fortuna! I held her cold, dead body after I crushed her soul, cursing it to an eternity of oblivion! I had called for your help, but you didn't come! I had to contract with the Witch of Envy because you weren't there!
"You know what else happened? Hundreds of people died, all because of how useless I am! My friend died, but you just slept! I sent all of my desperation to you, but you ignored it! You thought Subaru would be enough! Guess what, Puck? Subaru's been gone for months! Oh, but he's not just asleep. He's doing everything he can to come back to me. You? You just slept!
"Do you remember back in the capital, when Subaru tried to kill himself? Of course, you don't! I called you, but you were asleep! After being turned into a rat by Capella, I woke up crying and screaming every night, but you weren't there! Whenever I called you, you weren't there! You just got up for your little hugs and cuddles, deflecting any of my attempts to tell you what was going on!
"Even back in the frozen forest, you weren't there! 'Just call me when you need me, Lia.' No! That didn't work! You appeared at the last minute or not at all! You were never there for me when I actually needed you!
"And now—you know what? I don't know why I bother telling you this! You're just going to go back to sleep and pretend this never happened! You're going to avoid responsibility like you always have!"
Aghast and with tears in his eyes, Puck gazed at Emilia with sorrow unlike any he had ever remembered feeling. "Oh, Lia, I'm—"
"Good things have happened, too," Emilia croaked, her voice hoarse from screaming. "So, so many good things. Beatrice and I have gotten so close. Meili—you wouldn't know her, having been asleep this whole time, but she's the sweetest little thing. Did you know how much I love both of them? Do you realize how much I care? Did you know that I now have two wonderful, incredible daughters? I wanted to share that joy with you! I wanted to laugh and make fun of you for being a grandpa! I wanted to gush about how much I love them! I wanted to complain that I can't really act like a mom because they don't like being treated as kids! I wanted advice because Meili has a secret, and I want to help her through it, but I don't know what it is! I wanted you to help me comfort Beatrice when she cried for her father to come back home! I wanted you to help us free Subaru because I can't live without him! I needed comfort for…for everything! I needed you, Puck! I neededyou, but you weren't there!
"A-and Subaru and I—there was something so important that happened! I asked him to—No! You don't get to know that! You know nothing, so why should you know about that?! Why should you know about the most important day of my life?! You'll just go to sleep and forget all about it!"
The entire time she was ranting, Emilia never looked away from Puck. She saw how every word devastated him, as he realized how much he had messed up.
She knew that she would regret it immediately afterwards, but it felt so good to say.
So much anger, frustration, and grief had piled up these last few months. She had needed to put on a mask for Beatrice and Meili's sake, so she had never been able to speak about this to anyone but Satella.
She thought of Geuse, who had always supported her. He had encouraged her to grow as a person and as a spirit user. He had given her books and knowledge, telling her that she could be anything that she wanted to be if she just tried her best. Every time he had visited, he had made sure to spend what little time he had with her and Mother Fortuna, never leaving her side for even a moment. He had shown her that he loved her with his kind actions.
Puck had promised to always be there for her, every single step of the way. He had promised to love and cherish her like his own daughter. He hadn't done any of that, yet he had the audacity to call himself her father.
"A-and now…with Subaru gone…and it's just me taking care of them…"
Emilia now knew what it was like to be a mother to a grieving daughter. She knew what a parent was supposed to do to offer comfort.
Puck was doing it all wrong. He had left her alone when she had needed him most. She had wallowed in despair, mourning the loss of her mother. She had called for him as she wept, but he had never appeared.
"Alone…Y-you left me all alone, Puck! You left me behind!"
She clenched her fists and glared at him. Her nostrils flared, as she breathed heavily.
'Don't say it,' she warned herself. 'Don't say it. Don't say it. You don't mean it. Don't say it.'
"You're a terrible father, Puck!"
'You're going to regret it! Don't say it!'
"I hate you!"
…There. She said it.
Her eyes widened, and she took a step back. "P-Puck, I—"
"Please," he said hoarsely, "no more."
Against her better judgment, she obliged.
"You're right, Lia. About everything. I have no excuse. There's no use apologizing for something that can't be forgiven."
"Puck…"
"When you were sad, I ignored you," he admitted. Emilia already knew that, but it hurt her all the same. "But it wasn't because I didn't care. It was because I knew that I couldn't do anything."
"That's not true!" she said, shaking her head rapidly. "You were always helpful when you actually came out!"
He flinched but pressed onward. "But not when you were regaining your memories." Emilia's eyes widened. "It was one of the worst days of your life, yet I could do nothing for you. Only Subaru was able to help you."
She opened and closed her mouth multiple times. At length she said, "S-so, I needed Subaru over you just one time, and that means giving up? It means ignoring me when I need you?!"
At that moment, Puck looked so very small and frail. "Looking back on it, it was obviously wrong…but I thought you would be happier with Subaru helping you, not me."
Emilia's fists shook, but she didn't have time to rebuke his statement. He wasn't done speaking.
"But I never, and I mean never ignored you when you were in danger. Every time you needed me, I either came out or acted as a conduit. If there was a fight, I was there. I don't have an excuse for ignoring you when you're sad, but I'd neverlet you get hurt if I could help it."
"Then why did you?!" she wanted to shout, but she couldn't speak past the painful lump in her throat. His words made her realize something, as she pieced together various bits of information.
Puck's internal clock was impeccable. With their original contract, he was up exactly at nine in the morning and asleep at five in the evening. With their modified contract, he was just as prompt. For him to think that it was only one day, something had to have happened with time itself.
Subaru had been in Echidna's domain for three months, yet it had only been a few hours for him. It was Envy's yin magic that was disrupting time and space, causing this dissonance.
If what Puck had said was true—and Emilia desperately wanted to believe that it was—he would have come out if he knew that she was fighting someone, but he didn't. It was as if the entire thing was over in a second for him, and he hadn't processed her call.
Most importantly, the last time that he had appeared…was right before she had contracted with the Witch of Envy.
In her head, she heard Satella gasp. 'This…this is my fault, isn't it?'
Emilia jolted, quickly offering reassurance. 'Of course not! How could you possibly think that? You've done nothing but help me!'
'I…I'm so sorry, Emilia. I won't let this happen again.'
'Satella? Satella!'
But Satella was already gone, retreating to the furthest part of Emilia's mind.
At that moment, Emilia felt even more empty. She was only half of a person, and the silence of her mind had already begun to eat away at her. She could only hope that Satella would come back quickly—she couldn't handle the nightmares alone.
Puck was unaware of such thoughts, absorbed as he was in his own sorrow. "I won't sleep for a long, long time," he promised. "If you call me, I'll be out within seconds…but I'm not really expecting you to. I don't think you are, either. Just know that I'll be watching over you, and I will be here from now on. I know you won't believe that, but it's true."
She wanted to say something, anything to make it better, but she couldn't. Satella's sudden retreat, coupled with the realization that she had screamed at Puck for something that was her own fault…It clawed at Emilia's throat, preventing her from speaking.
Puck kept his eyes trained on the floor, but his voice exuded sincerity. "No matter what, just know that I love you, Lia."
With that, he vanished, leaving her behind once more.
She fell back on the bed, dazed. She clenched her fists, digging her nails into her palm, stopping just short of drawing blood. She took a long, shuddering breath, as her vision became blurry. Tears fell down her cheeks, dampening the blanket.
A mirthless, rueful laugh broke through her. "Sorry, my love…It seems that I broke my promise to you."
She laid on her back and hugged her pillow to her chest. Glassy eyes stared up at the ceiling, as she thought back on everything that had occurred.
In three whole months—even the last three minutes—so much had transpired, yet she could only focus on one person.
"Please…come back to me, Subaru. I can't wait any longer."
The tears fell freely now. They intensified with every image, every memory. They pounded against the inside of her skull, cruelly reminding her of all of her failures.
Even though Puck had claimed that he would answer her call, it didn't make her feel any better—she needed one person specifically, but he wasn't there, and she was alone. Not even Satella was there to offer comfort, hiding away at the edges of their shared mental space.
"…Damn it all. Just…just damn it all."
She had never, ever spoken like that before, yet she couldn't think of better words to describe how she was feeling.
Once again, Emilia cried herself to sleep in a cold, empty bed.
