The Reason Why – Part IV
Meredith and Izzie were on a forty-eight hour shift. That was the worst part of being an intern, the extended days and with little rest. They tried to get some sleep but the days events were still making their mind race.
Meredith and Izzie stood outside the door to Molly and Jeremy Storm's room. They just wanted to look in on the little boy and his mother one more time.
Meredith had no clue why the boy had affected Derek the way he had. She just really wanted to look in on him one more time and make sure he was still fine. Of course she knew deep down she was worrying for no reason, she knew the surgery was a success and the boy would be back to being a normal everyday boy soon.
They entered the room Meredith walked over to Jeremy's bed and looked down at the boy. She smiled down at him then reached down and gently stroked his cheek. "Nice job hanging in there little man," she whispered she looked over at Izzie who was checking on the boy's mother.
Izzie double checked the IV, she glanced down and noticed the photograph, it must be a family photograph. Izzie could hardly to see it in the darkness of the room, but it appeared to be Molly, Jeremy and Robert it must have been taken pretty recently.
Meredith walked over to Izzie to see what she was looking at, she couldn't see the photo very well either and reached in her lab coat pocket and pulled out her mini light turned on and pointed it at the photo.
Neither one was prepared for what they saw. Staring back up at them was the smiling faces of Derek and Addison Shepherd along with a young boy who couldn't have been much older the seven.
Izzie started to say something but Meredith quickly silenced her. They didn't want to risk waking Molly or Jeremy up.
They both studied the photograph Izzie was holding. It was a perfect family snapshot all three looked so happy. First Derek the big grin on his face, Meredith had never seen him looking so happy. Then the boy in the picture he had dark curly hair just like Derek's. He was dressed in a little league uniform and had a huge smile on his face, showing he had recently lost his front teeth. Then their gaze drifted to Addison's glowing face smiling back at them, Derek's arm was around her. Then they noticed it, Addison had a reason to be glowing, she had to be five or six month pregnant.
"Oh god," Izzie whispered.
"Oh god is right," Meredith whispered back.
Izzie put the photograph back where she found it.
Meredith reached over and picked up the photo, looked down at it one more time then put it in her lab coat pocket. She turned off the mini light and they both exited the room.
"You really think you should have taken the photo?" Izzie whispered.
Meredith nodded. "Do you really think Derek and Addison really want it laying around for anyone find?" she whispered back.
"Yeah you're right," Izzie said. "I'm sure it will be a real comfort to Addison that you found," Izzie smirked at Meredith.
Meredith gave Izzie shove. "Shut up biotch," she grinned at her friend.
"I'm not a biotch," she protested
"Sure you're not," Meredith smiled back.
Izzie put her arm around Meredith's shoulder and they walked back to the on call room. As they headed back to the room, both were struggling with what they just found out. Izzie knew this was a pretty big shock for herself, she couldn't even imagine how this had to be affecting Meredith. She was positive by her reaction, she had no clue the Shepherds had children at one point.
They both plopped down on a bed after entering the on call room, neither one saying a word. They lay there in just sort of stunned silence.
Finally Izzie broke the silence and quietly asked Meredith, "What do you think happened to them? I mean don't you think if they had kids they would be here or at least talk about them?"
Meredith pursed her lips and thought for a moment. "Considering how the Storm case seemed to affect both Derek and Addison, I'm guessing they were in a similar situation only with out the happy ending."
Izzie gnawed on her bottom lip. "Did you have any clue the Shepherds had kids?"
Meredith shook her head indicating no he never told her.
"Seriously?" Izzie questioned.
"Seriously," said shot back.
"I can't believe you dated the guy for what three months and he never told he had kids," Izzie retorted.
"Yeah like who'd believe a guy who would omit telling me he had a wife would also forget to mention he had kids," Meredith rolled her eyes.
Izzie stared at Meredith with her mouth hanging open.
"Can my life suck any more?" Meredith just shook her and she let out a soft groan as she dropped her head on the pillow and curled up in a ball. Meredith had a cold feeling down to the pit of her stomach. Now she knew, she never really had a chance. She finally knew the reason why Derek picked his wife and not her.
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Addison exited the elevator and headed for the nurse's how horrible yesterday had been, the end of the day turned out pretty wonderful. A half smirk played on her face as she thought about what had transpired last night after Derek had taken Doc for his run.
"Good morning Dr. Shepherd you look like you had a good night," Debbie, the nurse behind the desk said.
"Yeah it wasn't too bad," Addie grinned back. She set her latte on the counter and asked, "Could I have the Stanton Chart?"
"Sure," Debbie said she looked at the charts in front of her and grab the chart in question and passed it up to Addie.
"Thanks Debbie," she said as set the chart on the counter started looking through the it.
"Addie?" She looked up at Debbie to see what the nurse wanted. "Care for a chocolate muffin? Mrs. Parks brought them in as a thank you for treating her daughter and new granddaughter so well," she informed her with a wide smile.
Addie smiled at the nurse and reached for the said muffin, "Thanks Debbie I'd love one."
With muffin in hand she bent over the chart one more time. She was startled when someone grabbed her from behind that someone being her husband he kissed her on her cheek and said, "Hey you're holding out on me, where's my muffin!"
"I'm not holding out on you, Debbie gave me the muffin," she nodded to the nurse behind the desk. "So you're sucking up to the wrong girl if you want a muffin," she smirked at her husband.
Derek smiled sweetly at the nurse sitting behind the desk. "Do you have any more muffins?"
"Oh sorry Dr. Shepherd, I gave Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd the last one," she gave him a disappointed look as she was telling him the muffins were all gone.When his attention turned away from her, Debbie smirked got up and walked to the other side of the desk.
The elevator door opened and the Interns all exited the elevator.
"No ... no I don't," George stammered.
"Yes you do," Izzie smirked.
"I do not!" George said more firmly.
Izzie nodded at George. "Uh huh," she giggled.
This could go on for hours but Cristina put a stop to it. "What are you guys like two? George, yes …" Cristina retort was cut off by loud laughter coming from the nurse's station.
The interns bantering immediately stopped as all their attention was drawn to what was happening at the nurse's station down the hall from them.
"I said No, it's mine and you can't have it," Addie shrieked with laughter. Derek had her pinned against the desk.She had one arm up in the air holding the chocolate muffin out of his reach. "Maybe if you were a little nicer to the nurses they would have saved one for you," she smirked at him.
Derek snaked his arms around his wife and nuzzled her neck and whispered in her ear, "You know you want to give me your muffin." He nipped her earlobe, she relaxed and let her arm drop and Derek snatched the muffin from her hand. He grinned at her claiming victory.
Addie gave Derek a soft shove. "Hey you play dirty," giving him a wounded look only to breakout in a fit of laughter.
Derek reached out and grabbed Addie by the front of her scrubs and snuggled back up to her. "Yeah but you like me anyways."
She gave him her trademark smirk and reached up to caress his cheek then moved in and gave him a kiss. Not just a soft gentle yeah I like you kiss, but a deep kiss filled with passion. She reached up with one hand and stroked the dark curls on his head while the other hand reached out and snatched the muffin back out of his hand and gave him another playful shove. "Yeah I like you but you still can't have my muffin," she grinned back.
Just then the sound of a pager going off caught their attention. They both looked down to see whose page was calling them. "It's me," Derek announced as bent to give his wife a quick kiss on her cheek and snatched the muffin back then headed for the elevator.
"Hey!" Addie exclaimed stunned.
Derek strolled passed the open mouthed interns as he walked to the elevator, he knew Addie was watching him; she's definitely staring at my ass he grinned to himself.
Addie watched her retreating husband, he might be a muffin stealing bastard, but he sure had a nice ass. She leaned against the counter enjoying the view and watched him enter the elevator. He turned and leaned against the back of the elevator shot a silly grin at her then proceeded to eat her muffin.
Derek shouted to his wife, "Thanks for the muffin Babe." He grinned again.
Addison returned the silly grin and shook her head then laughed the doors to the elevator closed before she could make a retort. She reached over and grabbed her latte thinking about how great the day had started out.
"Addie?" She turned at the mention of her name. Debbie was standing in front of her smiling at her and presented her with another chocolate muffin.
She accepted the proffered muffin and said, "Hey I thought that was the last one."
"What can I say I guess I was wrong," she grinned back at Addie.
Addie gathered up her things raised the muffin to Debbie and said, "Thanks again Debbie." She turned and headed to the elevator and nodded. "Good Morning," to the open mouthed interns as she passed them.
Dr. Bailey exited the elevator as Addison entered; they exchanged good mornings as they passed.
"This is not a coffee clutch," Dr. Bailey interrupted the interns' rather loud discussion about something having to do with the Shepherds and what they had just witnessed. Bailey was glad to see the Shepherds actions were causing a stir with the interns that were laugh worthy instead of the usual cringe worthy, but she sure wasn't going to let them know. She had been concerned about them. She had heard about the Storm family and was worried that it might bring up bad memories and make problems for the reconciliation. "I don't care one bit if the Dr. Shepherd jumps his wife on the nurse's station desk. You are here to work not gossip." Miranda was definitely going to have to find Addie later and find out what was going on.
"Grey you are with Shepherd," a smile played on her face.But before she could get too happy Bailey added, "Montgomery-Shepherd that is." Meredith pursed her lips but didn't say a word.
"O'Malley you are with Burke today." Miranda raised her hand to the protesting Yang, "Not one word Yang or I'll stick you in the pit instead of with Dr. Shepherd, the neuro variety Shepherd."
Cristina's face broke out into a huge smile and gave an arm pump. "Yes," she already saw the board that morning and Dr. Shepherd had two surgeries scheduled that day, both would be first time procedures for her. Bailey raised an eyebrow at Cristina as if to say better watch it or to the pit, Cristina quickly erased the smile.
"Stevens you are with Torres," Izzie wrinkled up her face and George slugged her arm.
Bailey gave them both the look and they immediate straightened.
"Karev," Bailey gave him a smile, but it wasn't a happy to see you smile, it was more your ass is mine smile and I am thoroughly going to enjoy making your squirm all day smile. "You are with me today.You have patients in exam rooms two, three and five. The patient in two needs a rectal, the one in room three needs an enema and the one in room five needs a boil lanced."
Alex let out a groan. "I don't. . .," he began to protest.
Bailey stepped up in his face with hands firmly on her hips. "Not one word Karev this is what you get when you go around pissing off one attending after another. Maybe next time you will think twice before opening that big trap of yours."
Bailey took a step back and looked around, "Okay you got your assignment what are you doing still standing around, move it" she yelled.
Miranda walked up to the nurse's station took her chocolate muffin turn and headed back to the elevator with a swagger in her step.
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Miranda Bailey was sitting across the table from Addison Montgomery-Shepherd. It took Miranda a while to track Addie down, now she had a chance to see how yesterday's event had affected her friend. What a lousy day for her son to have his peds check up.
It didn't take too long after she signed on to Seattle Grace for Addie and Miranda to become close friends and with that friendship they shared many intimate details of their lives. It was after her son's birth that Addie had shared with her the details of her family tragedy involving her children and the fact that Derek still refused to talk about it, especially with her. She made her swear to not let Derek know that she knew about Aidan and Danica. She had said it would only upset him. She knew it helped Addie to be able to talk about her children. Miranda was an outlet for Addie a much needed one since her husband refused to discuss the matter. Both knew the only way for Addie and Derek to truly move on and get on with their lives together was for them to get this subject into the open.
Miranda gave Addie's arm a gentle squeeze she knew things would be coming to a head with her friends in the near future. This incident with the Storm family was going to force them to. How ironic the families name was Storm Miranda mused.
"I'm sorry I wasn't here for you yesterday," she gave Addie a sympathetic smile.
"Hey," she smiled back. "Don't worry about it your son comes first, besides I got through it. It was hard at first, real hard. I honestly don't have a clue how I managed to keep it together, but I did." Addie chewed on her bottom lip.
"So how did Derek handle it?" Miranda inquired with a stern look on her face.
Addie smiled again. "Brilliantly really he was amazing, the surgery, the way he kept it together and pulled Jeremy through and the way he was with me afterwards, he was really there for me. The support he gave me, it really surprised me Miranda and last night after we got home. . .," that Addie smirk was back on her face as she remembered the night before.
Miranda sat back in her seat with her eyebrows raise. "Oh are you telling me you got lucky last night and not that boring sex lucky but. . .," Miranda wiggled her eyebrows.
Addie interrupted her friend with laughed. "Yeah I got lucky, real lucky," she wiggled too.
"Well I'm glad you are making steps in the right direction. I like seeing that smile on your face, ever better I like seeing that smirk on your face." They both laughed.
Meredith knocked on the door to the attending lounge then pushed the door open both Dr. Bailey and Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd looked up at her as she entered.
"Excuse me Dr. Bailey, Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd." Meredith weakly smiled at the two women before her.
"Addison," she looked at the intern reproachfully. "Meredith I told you to call me Addison, friends remember we are supposed to be friends," she gave the intern a crooked smile and raised an eyebrow.
"Right you're right we are friends," she nodded and gave Addison another weak smile. "I finished rounds and. . ."
Miranda held her hand up stopping Meredith. "Looks like it's time to go back to work, Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd we shall continue this discussion later." With that she excused herself from her friend and intern. Behind Meredith's back Miranda held her hand to head giving Addie the universal symbol for call me, gave her friend a big smile and headed out the door.
"Okay Meredith you may continue," Addison prompted. She sat back and listened to Meredith give her the run down all on her patients. She was very through and she even managed to pick up on some things Addie wasn't excepting her to, she was impressed.
"And lastly I check on Mrs. Storm and all her vitals are completely normal. She told me she had a great night sleep. She's more then ready to be released but there is no way she will want to leave her son. So I made arrangements for her to stay in Jeremy's room, even though she will no longer need to be a patient." Meredith bit her lower lip hoping she was thorough enough for Addison. She always worried when she was Addison's intern. She knew the fear was probably irrational but she always thought Addison would scrutinize her extra hard because of both their relationships with Derek.
"Excellent run down Meredith you seemed to have taken care of everyone needs quite well. I agree with you on Mrs. Stanton, I was going set up her c-section for tomorrow morning. Make sure it gets put on the board. And thank you for taking care of Mrs. Storm I was going to make sure they allowed her to stay." She smiled at Meredith and nodded. "Once again excellent work. Everything seems to be pretty quiet right now, so why don't you go get some lunch and some rest. If I remember correctly you were on call all night right?"
Meredith nodded.
"Okay then if there isn't anything else you needed to discuss I'll see you back up here say two o'clock?" she asked with raised eyebrows.
"Dr." Addison raised her eyebrows at her. "I mean Addison do you have a minute?" she asked nervously.
She gave her a sideways glance; Meredith definitely had something on her mind and was struggling with whether to say something or not. She saw her take a deep breath and let it out slowly.
Meredith was struggling she knew she had to say something. Okay it's now or never she took a deep breath and exhaled, okay here we go, it's now or never, she repeated to herself.
"I know," Meredith blurted out.
"You know?" Addie was puzzled by that remark. Her eyebrows rose as if to say huh, what the hell are you talking about.
"I know … I know the reason why," she continued she had a habit rambling when she was nervous. Addie continued to look at her and tried to figure out what the hell she was talking about. She wished she would spit it out and get to her point already.
"Meredith please sit down relax I'm not gonna bite your head off," she quipped and gave her a half smile.
Meredith wasn't too sure about the not gonna bite your head off part, but she walked to the table and sat down. She let out another slow breath.
Meredith gave her a weak smile and continued, "I now understand why he picked you." Addie froze she dare not move. "Why he picked you and not me." Meredith bit her bottom lip and looked at her, "I know and just wanted to let you know that I know and I know he made the right choice" she reached into her pocket and pulled out the photograph and slide it across the table.
Addison had watched her struggle with what she was trying to tell her. It still amazed her that Derek could fall for someone so opposite to herself. But she guessed since he was trying desperately to get as far away from her as he possibly could it really shouldn't surprise her at all.
Addie picked up the photo and exhaled, she hadn't realized she was holding her breath. She stared at the photograph then looked up at Meredith their eyes met, she knew and she really did understand.
"Where did you get this?" she said barely above a whisper her gaze returned to the photo and she tried to rein in her emotions. The last thing she wanted to do was cry in front of Meredith Grey.
"Last night Izzie and I were checking on Mrs. Storm and Jeremy, we found the photo on her dinner try." She noticed Addison eyes shoot up when she mentioned Izzie was with her, then her eyes were drawn back to the photo she was holding. It was hard to gauge her reaction Meredith could tell she was trying hard to keep her true emotions off her face. "I didn't think you wanted it left out for everyone in the hospital to see so I took it, so I could return it to you." She gave her a weak smile.
Addie tore her eyes away from the photograph. "Thank you Meredith. You're right and I appreciate your discretion in this matter." Her voice cracked as she tried to rein in her emotions, she took a moment longer to compose herself, "I . . ."
"Look I don't plan on saying anything. I'm not going to pry and try to find out why you and Derek never talk about your son. I know I am the last person you would want to talk about it with anyways, but Izzie knows too so, you know if you need someone else to talk to" she hesitated "well that's all I have to say. Just that I know and I understand now." With that she rose from the table and left the room.
Addison sat back in her chair, she was stunned and Meredith knew and understood. She looked down at the photo again and a tear escaped and rolled down her cheek.
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Izzie had seen Meredith enter the attending break room. She knew from Dr. Bailey that Addison was in there with her. She also knew Meredith was going to return the photo. They debated for a longtime as to which one of them should return the photo and finally decided Meredith should be the one.
She waited for Meredith. Finally she emerged from the room. She saw Izzie and walked up to her. Izzie was looking at Meredith eyebrows raised high, "Well how did it go?"
"Okay I guess. I gave her the photo back and I told her I knew and understood. I also told her you knew too, just incase she wanted to talk to someone about it. You know since I'm sure I'm the last person in the world she would want to speak to about this."
"Did she seem upset?" Izzie wanted to know.
"Oh I'm sure she was but she tried really hard not to show me how upset she was," Meredith tilted her head and bit her lower lip.
"Do you think I should go in there and talk to her?" she bit her lower lip too and looked at Meredith pleading with her to tell her what she should do.
"Well she's in there alone, now might be a good time to you know, go and get it over with. Since she's probably going to want to speak with you and make sure you don't go spreading any rumors around." Meredith shrank back as Izzie tried to hit her. "Well you know as well as I do, we have pretty big mouths and don't always know when to keep them shut."
"Okay I'm going in wish me luck," she let out a long breath and steadied herself then knocked on the door to the attending break room.
Addison's head shot up at the sound of a knock on the door, she quickly wiped the tear from her cheek and waited for the person to enter. I was Izzie Stevens.
Izzie timidly walked over to the table and sat down next to Addison. "Hi," she smiled weakly. "I know you know I know. God now I'm starting to sound like Meredith," she looked up at Addison and they both burst out laughing.
Whew that part went well, she thought to herself, at least she got her to laugh. "Okay I know you must feel a little weird having me know something so intimate about you. Something you and Dr. Shepherd obviously didn't want any of us to know." Izzie chewed her bottom lip and thought for a minute.
"So," she continued. "I think it's only fair that I tell you something personal about myself. Something I haven't shared with anyone here, very few people know this about me," she paused a moment trying to get her thoughts in order.
Addie reached over and put her hand on the intern's arm and gave her a reassuring squeeze. "Izzie there is no need for you to tell me anything that personal about yourself."
Izzie raised her hand and stopped Addison. "No I want to tell you, I want you to know, because I think it will help you understand me better." She smiled at her superior and began again, "I got pregnant when I was sixteen, here I was sixteen still in school, not a dime to my name and I got pregnant. The father turned out to be a total jerk, so he was definitely out of the picture. I decided to have the baby."She reached in her pocket and pulled out a photo and slid it over to her. Addie looked at the photo and smiled at the picture of the young girl.
"Her name is Hannah she just turned ten. I knew I wasn't mature enough to be a mom and no way could I give her what she needed, so I gave her up for adoption. I still miss her but I don't regret giving her up, because I know she is with a loving family and I know she is happy."
"I also know if I had kept her, I would have dropped out of school and I'd still be living in the trailer park. I would most likely resent her for ruining my life and I never wanted to have my daughter feel like she wasn't wanted or that I never wished she was born. I know from first hand experience what that feels like and I never wanted my daughter to feel that way." They exchanged looks and smiled at each other.
"Izzie I want to thank you for telling me about Hannah," she gave her a half smile.
Izzie squeezed her hand. "I just wanted to know that I understand loss too. I know it's not anywhere near the loss you suffered but I do understand. A day does not go by that I don't think about Hannah and how I wish I could have been a part of her life. But I know she is happy and she has two parents who love her and I have to be satisfied with that."
"So," Addie started. "I'm guessing you probably are wondering exactly what happened and why Derek and I never talk about our kids," she said softly.
Izzie interrupted her, "No, no you don't have to tell me, I didn't share my story to make you feel obliged to tell me more. I'm pretty sure I have the basics on what happened and considering I haven't told anyone including my best friends about Hannah, I have no right to ask you why you don't talk about your children either." She gave her a sympathetic smile.
Addie nodded at the younger woman. "Its okay Izzie honestly, I don't mind talking about my kids. Well I don't mind talking about Aidan. He was a wonderful boy, it's harder talking about Danica, since we didn't really have time with her," she said with a sad smile.
She tilted her head in thought and pursed her lips, "Well after yesterday I'm pretty sure you probably have a good idea what happened."
Izzie nodded, "Meredith and I figured Aidan, that was your son's name right?" Addison nodded. "We figured he must have been hit with a baseball too, like Jeremy," she said tentatively.
Addie injected, "Exactly like Jeremy, our situations were so similar, it's frightening, everything was exactly the same, except for the out come. I still don't know how Derek managed to hold it together. He is the one who has the problem discussing our children, he won't even talk to me about them." She shrugged. "That's pretty much where our problems started, the fact that Derek refuses to acknowledge their existence. He wants to forgot, he said it's too painful to think about Aidan and what he meant to us." Izzie listened quietly to what Addison was saying.
"Sometimes."She sighed and continued, "I think Derek prefers to think of Danica as a miscarriage not as a person. I could never do that, she may have only survived for four hours but that was still four hours of my life I will never forget. The funny thing is that's four hours that Derek desperately wants to forgot."
"Derek wasn't there with you, with you and Danica?" Izzie stared at Addie wide eyed.
"No, no Izzie, Derek was there, he was there for every second, you misunderstood me. He was so supportive, he was wonderful during the entire experience but after, after their funeral. That's when he fell apart. We both fell apart and instead of seeking comfort in each other, Derek chose to bury himself in work, hell I buried myself in work too. No one blamed us, we were both in pain. The difference was, Derek wanted to forget they ever existed. It hurt him too much to think of what we lost and I wanted to talk about them, and remember what we lost. In the beginning we buried ourselves in work together. Sure we worked all the time, but we were still inseparable, but Derek couldn't stand that I would bring up something about Aidan and he started to pull away." She paused to take a drink; she was surprised at how easy it was to tell Izzie about her past.
"So here I was desperate to keep my son's memory alive and my husband was desperate to bury it. He continued to work long hours, he would sleep in the hospital on call room or if he did come home it would be late. He'd try to time it so he didn't arrive home until I was a sleep then he would sleep in the guest room. He pushed me farther and farther away and there was nothing I could do to bring him back to me. I tried to get him to go to therapy with me but he refused. He just wasn't ready to accept what happened. The whole time this was going on, there was Mark." A sad look crossed her face.
"Mark was my rock during this time, he was both Derek and my best friend and he loved Aidan just as much as Derek and I did. He was Aidan's godfather and he would have been Danica's too," she stopped this was the hard part to talk about.
"I never wanted to turn to Mark, but I was devastated. I was barely hanging on, I lost both my kids and my husband was nonexistent. Mark was there, he was willing to talk to me about Aidan and even Danica. Mark was the only other person besides Derek, medical staff and me that was able to spend anytime with Danica." She sighed and continued, "He was there and Derek wasn't. He was a band aid but you don't use a band aid close the wound of a ripped out heart." She smiled weakly.
"When Derek found us he didn't say a word. Hell he didn't even show any emotion, he simply turned around walked out the door and didn't stop walking until he made it to Seattle." She put her head back. "God I thought there was nothing in that world that could hurt me more then the loss of my children and Derek's emotional abandonment, but when he walked out that door without a word. I thought I would curl up and die right then. Hell I hoped for it, it seemed like my best option."
Addison smiled at Izzie's wide eyed shocked expression, she squeezed her hand and continued, "No, I wasn't going to commit suicide but it took two weeks for Mark to get me put back together so I could function at some level of normalcy. It pretty much took the entire three months after Derek leaving for me to get back to normal self. Mark was there every step of the way and I know I was wrong to lean on him like that but at the time I didn't know any other way to fix myself. I was broken and he fixed me. I'll always love him for that but I was never in love with him. He deserves much better then me. He deserves someone who is absolutely head over heels in love with him and that simply is not me. Because for better or worse I'm still head over heels completely madly in love with my husband, and no matter how crappy he treats me, I have to stay and try to work things out and get back to what we had before."
Izzie smiled at Addie. "Well you both looked pretty happy this morning so maybe."
She had melancholy smile on her face. "I think have turned a corner, but it's just the first step to rebuilding our relationship and we still have a long way to go. We will just be treading water until I can figure out a way to get Derek to talk to me about Aidan and Danica and deal with our emotions once and for all."
"Well just so you know we are here for you and on your side, and if there is anything you need just let us know," she smiled at her.
"Thanks for sitting and listening to me. It really helped me and I think I have an idea on how I might be able to get through to Derek." She leaned over and gave Izzie a hug then she stood up and left the room.
Izzie reached over and picked up the photo of Hannah and looked at her daughter's picture for a minute before replacing it in her lab coat pocket.
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Meredith was looking through the Daniels chart when she noticed Addison leaving the attending break room; she and Izzie were in there for a long time. Izzie must have gotten Addison to talk to her.
Addie approached Meredith. "Meredith I was wondering if you might have time for a chat?"
"Um, sure Addison what do you need?" Oh boy, what on earth is she going to ask me she thought.
Just then Addison's pager went off, she looked down and saw nine-one-one she was needed in the ER. "Come on Grey we are needed in the ER."They both headed for the elevator.
Once the doors closed Addison stared straight ahead and quietly said, "I want you to talk to Derek."
"You what?" Meredith was shocked.
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