Time jump: Week after
Olivia glanced up at seeing Elliot walk into her office. "Hey, wh-what are you doing here?"
"Where is Barba?" He demanded.
"I don't know in his office." Olivia frowned. "I haven't seen him since this morning. What's going on?"
"I need to speak with him." Elliot growled pacing her office. "Son of a bitch!"
"Elliot, what is the problem?" Olivia walked around her desk trying to stop him from making a hole in her floor. "Talk to me."
"Get him down here." He growled through clenched teeth. "Or I will tear this city down until I find him."
Olivia nodded. "Okay, okay." Reaching for her phone she dialed Barba's phone.
'Liv?'
"Hey, where are you?"
'Working.'
"Your office?"
'No, something else. What's going on?'
"Can you come to the station?" Her eyes followed Elliot as he paced back and forth. "Elliot is looking for you." There was a pause. "Rafael?"
'I'm on my way.'
Barba sped through the streets, blowing red lights and running stop signs. Coming to a screeching halt in front of the precinct, he tossed his keys to the officer at the front desk. Telling him to move his car, he took the stairs instead of the elevator. Arriving at the unit, he took a few deep breaths and walked towards Olivia's office. The moment he stepped into the office he ducked the incoming punch.
"Elliot!" Olivia gasped.
Barba jumped back avoiding the next three punches. "What the fuck is your problem?!"
"My problem?!" Elliot yelled, pulling an envelope out of his jacket and throwing it at him. "This!"
Barba opened the envelope, pulling out a stack of pictures. He was surprised at the context. "What the hell is this?"
"That's your work isn't it?" Elliot yelled. "That's what you do!"
Barba stared at the pictures in his hand. Stabler wasn't wrong this was his work. It was his same tactics. "This wasn't me."
"The hell it wasn't!"
"Elliot." Olivia walked out of the office, ordering the remanding officers on the floor to leave. "Don't let anyone come up until I give the order."
"I have never harmed a woman or child." Barba growled. "This has nothing to do with me!"
"Then why do you have blood?!" Elliot gestured to him.
Barba looked down at his stained shirt. After getting the call from Olivia everything was forgotten. The only thought in his mind was getting to Olivia. "Listen, Stabler, I don't know who the hell that woman is. I never touched her."
Elliot lunged at him again, tackling into his abdomen and sending them out into the bullpen. Stabler straddled Barba throwing a few punches. Barba used his legs to trap Elliot and flip them to the side. Pushing himself up to his feet, he kicked Stabler in the stomach followed by connecting his knee to Stabler's face. Before he could touch him again a pair of hands landed on his chest, pushing him back.
"Rafael stop." Olivia begged him. "Please."
Barba took in shallow breaths trying to calm himself. "I didn't touch that woman. Someone else did."
"I'm going to fucken kill you." Stabler groaned staggering as he stood up. "This is what you do! You are all alike! Don't care how as long as you get to crave your blood lust."
Barba was fed up with the same accusations. "What was the girl's name?"
"Fuck you!"
"Names asshole!"
"M-Monica Tekma." Stabler groaned at the pain shooting up his side.
Pulling his phone out his phone he called his handler. "James, Monica Tekma." He pulled his phone off his ear, putting it on speaker. "What was the reason for her interrogation?"
'She was linked to a terrorist cell. We proved the connection between her and three other cells. Got the names of her teammates and associates. With the information we got from her, we were able to stop their plans on their next attacks.'
"Who conducted her interrogation?"
'Mike.'
"Thank you." Hanging the phone, he glared at stabler. "I didn't touch her."
"You are all the same." Stabler growled.
Barba stepped up to him. "No te equivoques con migo."
"Stabler you're wrong about him." Liv spoke in his defense. "You have the wrong man."
"Do I?" Stabler pulled his phone out and played a video. "This is what he does."
Grabbing a scalpel and towel from the cart, he raised Adam's arm and slashed him right above the armpit. Putting the towel under the arm, he gripped the boys' face and forced him to look at him. "Right now that towel is the only thing keeping you alive. I remove it and you have about ten seconds before bleeding out. Give me names!"
Adam whimpered with a shaky nod. "Anything, please just stop."
Letting him go, he removed the towel and threw it towards Elliot. "6 seconds before he bleeds out." Grabbing his phone, he called James. "4 seconds." Teddy and Viddick rushed to stop the bleeding. "2 seconds."
"Stabler leave." Olivia shoved the phone out of her sight.
"Liv?"
"I need to speak with Rafael." She kept her hands on Barba's chest. His muscles tensed under her as Stabler got closer to them. "Rafa don't." She felt him relax for a moment, finally letting loose once stabler was gone. "You're bleeding."
Rafael shrugged it off. "It's nothing." He grabbed a few napkins wiping the blood from his lips. "Liv?" Turning he slowly lowered his hand at seeing her look through the pictures. "Liv."
"Th-this is what you do?" Liv's hand shook as she flipped the pictures. "This is what you didn't want to tell me?"
"Liv, that wasn't me." Barba whispered.
"That wasn't the question." She snapped.
Barba dropped his eyes to his hands. "That's one of the many things I do."
"You torture and kill men, woman, and child-"
"I have never touched a woman or child." Barba snapped.
"But you torture them!"
"Yes!"
Olivia was stunned at the power in his tone. "What?"
"This is what they trained me for. This is what I was made into. I told you a long time ago I was deprived of being able to feel or show any of my emotions. This was why. I don't feel any remorse for what I have done. Those men deserved it for one reason or another." Barba argued. "I told you there were many things I couldn't and wouldn't tell you what they were."
"Barba you have confessed to torture and assassination," Olivia whispered.
Barba leaned against the counter, tossing the napkin into the sink. "You going to arrest me?
"It's not a joke Rafael!"
"I'm not laughing Olivia." Barba sighed. "What do you want me to do? Say? You found out one of my worst secrets Olivia. What I do when I am away. What do you want from me?"
"I don't know." Olivia tossed the pictures on one of the tables. "I need some air."
Barba ran a hand up and down his face, wincing at rubbing his busted lip. "Fuck!"
Time jump:
Walking into his loft he prepared himself for the incoming battle. He didn't care what she would say to him, do to him, he just couldn't lose her. Anything but that. Flickering the lights on, his attention was immediately drawn to the white envelope on the table. His name was written neatly in black. Opening the letter, he flinched at the clattering noise of a ring. Looking down his eyes widen at seeing it was Olivia's engagement ring.
"Liv?" He called out, getting no response. "Olivia?!" Running up the stairs he busted into their bedroom. "Olivia!" Checking the bathroom, he staggered out. Looking around the room, he opened his closet to find her clothes gone. Her side of the dresser was empty as well. Running into Noah's room he found the same thing. His clothes and toys were gone. "Liv." Stumbling into his room once he stood in the middle. Opening the letter, he took in a deep breath before looking down at it.
Rafa,
I can't do this. I can't stand by and pretend everything will be the same after today. I love you and I am certain I will always love you, but I no longer trust you. I need some space away. I'm sorry.
Clutching the letter in his hand, he fell to the floor. Reading the letter over and over until he could no longer see past the tears. The one thing he feared the most had come true. With every beat, his heart gave a new wave of pain running through his body. He couldn't give up on her. She couldn't just throw this all away. Not like this.
Time jump:
Rollins grumbled at the rapid knocking on her door. Nudging Carisi to go answer she settled back into bed.
Carisi glanced at the time and groaned. "2 in the damn morning. Someone better be dead." Flickering the lights on and opening the door he was surprised to see Barba. The man was a mess. His tie was hanging loosely, his shirt was wrinkled and untucked. His eyes were bloodshot red. "Rafael?"
"I need to talk with her." He blurted.
"It's 2 am." Carisi sighed. "She's asleep."
Barba slammed his hand on the wall. "Carisi."
"Fine, wait there."
Barba sighed moving to lean against the wall. He had gone to everyone he knew of looking for her. Had he been cleared-minded, he would have gone to Rollins in the first place. Feeling his phone vibrating, he canceled the call. James had been calling since he found out about the letter. Barba had an idea what he was calling for, but until he talked to Olivia he couldn't answer.
"What are you doing here?"
Barba jumped. "Liv."
"What are you-"
"Stop, you don't get to do this." Barba pulled the letter out. "You don't get to just leave this and expect me to accept it."
"Rafael, what did you expect?" Olivia asked. "That I would look past it? Look past the fact that you have killed people? Tortured and maimed who knows how many? I am a cop, but first more I am a mother. I can not have my son-"
"I would never hurt Noah or you!" He snapped. "Olivia this wasn't going to continue for long. I am close to getting out. Close to being able to live a normal life. A life I wanted with you and Noah."
"I can't." She hugged herself, missing the feeling of his arms around her. "Your hands…"
Barba held his hand out. "What?"
"The same hands that have given me so much comfort, scare me. Tainted with countless lives." She whispered. "I can't look past those pictures and that video. Rafael what I saw in that video was a man enjoying the pain he caused. Enjoying the blood and chaos."
"I don't."
"You need to leave."
Feeling his phone vibrate again, he stared Olivia in the eyes. The same eyes that once looked at him with pure raw love and lust, now held fear. That was a punch to the gut. She was afraid of him. "If I leave I am leaving for good." Her eyes widen but said nothing. "The only thing that was keeping me put were you and Noah. The moment you say the word I will be ordered away." He took a step closer, stopping at seeing her jump back. "Liv?"
Olivia wasn't sure what she wanted anymore. Although her heart screamed for him, her mind screamed from fear. Every time she looked at him, she saw the blood-covered man. The one that smiled when cutting into a mother human being. The one that laughed when they yelled and begged. The one that enjoyed the pain he caused. "Leave." Without another look, she walked back into the apartment, closed the door, and leaned against it.
Barba reacted a second too late as the door was shut in his face. "Olivia!" Slamming his hand on the door, he laid his forehead against it. "Please don't do this. Don't give up on me. Not you too." Getting no response he fell this his knees. Tears rolled down his cheek. Amazing how one word could cause your entire world to crumble down on you. How it can take your heart in a death grip and squeeze the light out of it. How it can wrap a hand around your throat and cut your air supply. How it can kill you while still breathing. How it can lend you just like that.
Barba wasn't sure how long he sat by the door. Hoping, praying she would come looking for him. But at last, she did not. Picking up his phone, he answered the call he was avoiding.
'It's time.'
"James…"
'I know Rafael, but there is nothing we can do. You know the reason as to why they let you stay for so long. You have nothing there.'
"I can't leave them."
'Just a few more assignments son and you will be free of all this.'
"I lost her." He shut his eyes trying to stop the tears from flowing. "I lost the one person I have ever lived."
'You haven't lost her yet Rafael, she needs time to process. Give her the space she has asked for. Say your goodbyes and pray you will be back.'
Hanging up the call forced himself to stand up. Laying his hand on the door he let out a shaky breath. "I am sorry Olivia."
Time jump: a week
Olivia walked into her office throwing her bag on the table. It had been a week since she last saw or heard from Barba, after that night. As much as she didn't want to admit it, she missed him. Nights have become impossible to seep without him.
She found herself missing so many other things. But one that outshined the others were in court. She missed the way he would look over at her. His eyes staring back at her with determination and love. Searching for that missing item to win his cases. As if she had all the answers.
Noah was worse than her. Every morning asking where Barba was. Nights became a mission to put him to bed. He had gone as far as to refuse to eat until he talked with Barba. Olivia was running out of excuses to tell her son.
"Cap?" Amaro knocked on her door.
Olivia snapped back into her reality. "Yeah?"
"Mr. Gomez is here looking for you."
"Who?"
"Armando Gomez." An older gentleman man walked in. "Mr. Barba's attorney."
Amaro took that as his cue to close the door and leave. "I'll be outside."
Olivia gestured for the man to sit down. "What can I do for you, Mr. Gomez."
"I come complying to Rafael's orders." Armando pulled out a folder. "In the chance that Rafael was to leave he has set a few things in motion." He handed her some pages and a set of keys. "For starter, the loft now belongs to you and your son Noah. Along with his two vehicles."
"What?"
Armando raised his hand in a 'please wait' motion. "This also states cabin he has now belongs to you as well." Again he pulled out another packet of pages. "This one pertains to the bank account. Rafael has opened an account under both you and Noah's names. As of this moment you have free range to use that money as you wish."
Olivia was sure she looked like a fish out of water. "I won't sign for any of these."
Armando closed his briefcase and stood up. "Your signature is not required. Rafael already signed everything over to you. If you don't wish to keep the loft, cabin, and or cars you are free to sell or give away. The same goes for the money. They belong to you now. Have a pleasant day."
"What did he do?" Amaro walked in, followed by Fin.
"Want me to cut him?" Fin growled.
Olivia shook her head. "Rafael left me everything."
Fin frowned. "Left you everything? What's that mean?"
"Everything!" Olivia blew out. "The loft. The cars. Money in some account he opened up. Everything!"
"Okay, I get it." Fin was confused by her reaction. She seemed upset by the knowledge of this.
Amaro gathered the papers reading over them. "Dude was loaded." He yelped at the nudge he received. "What?" Looking over at Olivia he cringed. "Sorry." Placing the papers back he left the office.
Fin closed the door after Amaro, turning his attention to Olivia. "What's really bothering you Liv?"
"I don't take handouts." Olivia snapped.
"Nah." Fin shook his head. "It's something else."
Olivia looked at everything, but at Fin. Tears slowly began pooling in her eyes. Everything began getting blurry once more. "I accept this and I will seal it for good."
"Seal what?"
"That he's really gone." She whimpered. "They he really left and won't be coming back."
"Liv." Fin rushed forward wrapping her in his arms. "I got you."
"I-" She allowed him to hold her. Try to give her the comfort she needed. But no pair of arms would ever be able to do that. She hated looking weak or a man. But she couldn't stop it. When she lost Elliot the pain was brutal, she had lost her partner and best friend. Not more. With Rafael she lost a part of herself. He took the piece with him without even knowing he did.
Time jump: a month
Barba walked tossed his jacket and keys over the table. Losing up his tie he made a beeline for the bar and grabbed a glass of whiskey. Taking a sip he pulled his phone out and called one of the men.
'Sir?'
"How is she?"
'Nothing out of the ordinary. Captain Benson and her son spent the day at the street market. From there she took her son to the park, where she was met with Stabler. Stayed a few hours and she went back home.'
Barba frowned. "Stabler?"
'Y-yes, sir. Both Noah and Captain Benson have gone out a few times.' There was a pause. 'But it seems as if the child was afraid of Stabler.'
"How so?"
'Well, he won't go near the man. Tenses every time Stabler gets close. That sort of thing.'
"Alright. Just watch over them."
'Yes sir.'
Barba tossed the phone to the side. His mind wandered to scenarios he did not wish to see. Stabler wasted no time in swooping in. Anger began boiling in him, but it was all in vain. There was nothing he could do. Not without breaking his promise to the organization. Not without risking putting them on their list.
"Just a few more and I am done."
