Time jump: 5 months
Olivia stepped out of the interrogation room with an annoying sigh. For the past five hours, they have been grilling their suspect. She was at her wit's end and running out of time.
"What now?" Amaro, like Olivia, had tried getting the man to talk. But all he got was was spit in the face.
Olivia shook her head. "I don't know. Anything at his place?"
"No." Rollins replied. "No DNA or any indication Maggie was ever there."
"Captain Benson." Chief Dodds walked into the office with a grim look. "Anything?"
"He isn't budging."
"I bring orders from the top." Dodds began. "Someone will be coming in to take over the interrogation."
"What?" Olivia snapped her head up at him. "This is our case."
"I understand and no one is taking it from you." Dodds assured. "But the mayor is desperate and asked for their assistance."
"Who is it?" Fin asked.
Dodds shrugged. "Didn't say. Didn't give me a name. Just said they will arrive shortly." Walking over to the camera's outlet, he shut it off. "None of this can be recorded. No one can speak of what is to happen in this room after the fact." He ran a hand through his hair. "If you don't wish to be mixed up in this, you can step out of the room. That's your choice."
"What the hell is going on chief?" Carisi wondered out loud. "You make it sound as if this was a state secret."
"I can't answer that. I don't even know what the hell is going on." Dodds replied. "Just following orders."
Barba stepped out of the elevator with as much confidence as he could muster. But at the moment he felt like a spectator. As if he was floating in the background and watching a nightmare unfold. It's been months since had stepped foot in New York, let alone in this building. Months since he has seen Olivia in person. And truth be told this was not how he hoped to see her again.
When James called and said he had an assignment, he never thought it be with Olivia and her team. James warned him it would be a difficult one, but he thought nothing of it. Until he read the location. No matter how much he argued or yelled, they refused to let him back out. Granted this helped shorten the number of assignments he needed to get out, but it also meant something worse.
Olivia was about to see the kind of monster he truly was.
With each step he took closer towards her office, his body became foreign to him. His feet were heavy. His steps echoed in his ear. Without realizing he was doing it, he stepped into the office. He was aware of everyone inside, but his attention was solely on the woman staring back at him.
Dios mio, she looked beautiful.'
All surrounding noises ceased to exist. In that moment it was only him and her.
"Rafael Barba?" Dodds broke whatever trance his captain and Barba had. "What are you doing here?"
Barba pried his eyes away from Olivia. "Orders."
"Orders?" Fin frowned.
"For him." He gestured to the man in the interrogation room.
"You are defending him?" Carisi nearly shouted.
Barba raised a brow. "And you're the new ADA? I know I'm a lawyer, but I figured I was held on a higher stand." Carisi tossed him a grunted look. "File?" Rollins handed it to him. "That explains it."
"Explains what?" Amaro asked.
"Why the mayor called in his favor for such a low-profile case." Barba mumbled, getting confused looks. "We don't handle kidnappings, not unless they are from certain ranking families. This is a personal favor from my bosses to your mayor."
Olivia couldn't stop staring at him. He looked good. A full beard now rested on his face and she had to admit it suited him. He was heavier than before in body mass. His arms strained against his jacket, his shoulders were broader than before. 6 months since she had last seen him. 6 months after she told him to leave. And still, she regretted those words. But she was also about to be reminded why she spoke those words.
"What do you know about him?" Barba asked.
"It's all in the file." Amaro replied.
Barba rolled his eyes, why is that always their answer to his question. "The file won't tell me what I need to know. I only need the answers to three questions. What do you need from him?"
"Location to Maggie's whereabouts," Olivia spoke for the first time.
Barba removed his jacket, tossing it over one of the chairs. "Find out where the girl is okay. What has he told you?"
"Nothing hasn't spoken since we arrested him." Fin answered.
"Final question." He removed his cuff links and rolled his sleeves up. Out of habit for the two of them, Barba handed Olivia his cuff links. Olivia didn't realize she reacted until after she felt the cold steel in her palm. "Do you need him alive?"
"Yes!" Olivia snapped.
Barba raised his hand in a sorry gesture. "I needed to ask." Reaching for the handle he paused. "I am sure you are aware of what is about to happen. So for the sake of us all, I beg you to wait out of sight." Seeing them make no movement he sighed. "Very well."
Niko looked up at hearing the door open. His cold brown eyes met equally cold green eyes. A smirk appeared on his lips. Those were the eyes of a killer. One such as himself. "Lawyer?"
Barba chuckled. "On my downtime."
"Then who are you?" He asked.
Barba tossed the file on the table. "Why suddenly so talkative? I've been told you haven't said a word in the past five hours."
"I didn't feel like talking then." Niko shrugged. "But, you…"
"What about me?"
"You have the same cold eyes." He laughed. "Same one's my daddy had before he killed my mother. The eyes of a killer."
Barba clenched his jaw. He refused to let Niko's words get to him. "Where is Maggie Shepfield?"
"Who?"
"The girl you took from the bar." Barba opened the file to the girl's photo.
Niko shrugged. "Don't recognize her."
Barba gripped the back of Niko's neck and pushed him down to the table with a slam. "Then look closer!"
"What the fuck!" Niko jerked up with a bloody nose. "I know my rights! You can't touch me!"
Barba laughed. "What rights? You had every opportunity to talk before I arrived. Every opportunity to take advantage of those rights." He leaned forward placing his palms on the table. "You were doing so good. Staying under the radar. Taking those that no one will miss, but you got greedy. You took the wrong girl. Unfortunately for you her daddy is the mayor and called me in."
"And who the fuck are you?" Niko spat at the floor.
"Doesn't matter who I am." Barba sighed. "What matters is what you tell me."
"Why would I tell you anything?" Niko scoffed. "I didn't tell that hot piece of ass, I sure as hell won't tell you."
"That what?" Barba raised a brow.
"You didn't see her?" Niko whistled. "Brunette, I think she's the captain. Man, she has the perfect shaped ass to ri-" Niko's head snapped to the right with a loud snap.
Barba gritted his teeth, refraining from pounding down on Niko. "Show some respect." Grabbing him by the front of his shirt, Barba got nose to nose with him. "I am not one of them Niko. I don't play by their rules. Tell me what I want to know and your guts stay inside of you. Refuse and I will take pleasure in hearing your screams."
"Fuck you." Spiting at Barba's face he pulled back with a laugh.
Barba pulled a napkin from his pocket. Wiping the spit off he chuckled along with Niko before backhanding the man. "Hard way it is." Grabbing his phone he called Carmen. "Bring in the bag."
Outside Olivia stood between her team and the door. After the first attack Fin and Amaro attempted to run into the room. She wanted to as well, but Dodds made it clear. Anyone intervene and they were looking at suspension pending elimination. Apparently not his words, but his bosses. Their attention was drawn to Carmen walking into the office and knocking on the window.
Barba stepped out grabbing the bag. "Everything in here?"
"Yes. Although I didn't find the toxic." Carmen replied. "You didn't have any in stock."
"Don't need it." Barba mumbled. "Carmen?"
"Yeah?"
He leaned in closer to her and whispered. "I don't want her to see. Block the window or get her out of here."
Carmen understood, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I'll see what I can do."
Glancing at Olivia he felt a surge of relief run through him. A sense of familiarity. "Liv." Catching her eyes he tossed her a smirk. Still has the same look. Walking back into the room he tossed the bag to the floor. Taking a seat across from Niko he waited.
Carmen on the other hand grabbed a whiteboard from outside and wheeled it in front of the window. "Barba does not wish for any of you to see what he is about to do."
"We need to hear the confession." Amaro barked.
"And you will get the confession." Carmen assured him. "You need to understand that although this will never be known outside these four walls, it's best if you remained unknown to it. Should word ever get out, this way you won't be implicated. The other reason, Rafael doesn't wish for any of you to witness."
"That bad?" Carisi asked in a low almost whispered tone.
Carmen sighed, tapping on the window. "It can always be worse."
Barba stood from his chair at the tapping. "I was planning on making this easy on you." Grabbing the bag he pulled out a gag. "Now, we can't have the entire station hear you scream." Forcing the gag on him, he pulled out a scalpel. "I have read the file. I am aware of what you do to them. So, I figured what better than to use your own tactic on you." Using the scalpel to cut off Niko's shirt, he aligned it with his neck collar. "You start with from the top to the bottom, correct? Cutting a piece of skin as you go down. So let's begin."
Walking out of the room, he wiped the blood off with a disgusted look. "She's alive. Abandoned house by the docks, hidden under the floor in the master bedroom."
"Go! Go!" Olivia grabbed her jacket rushing out of the office with her team on her heels. "Get paramedic on route now!"
Barba pulled his phone out. "Carmen, where are you?"
'Lunch. Finished?'
"Yes, get the cleaners up here."
'One second.' A small pause and she was back. 'On their way.'
"Thank you." Just as he hung a team of three men walked in. Each holding a black medical bag and making a beeline for him. "Interrogation room. He's alive." He stopped one by the arm. "Make it seem as if I was never here."
"Yes sir."
Interrogation room:
The oldest of the three walked into the room and froze. Their subject sat inches from death, cuffed to the table. Blood covered nearly every inch of his body. Its shirt was cut open and have his chest appeared to be skinned in parts.
"Alright, B get all this shit cleaned up." He ordered. "C, let's get him fixed up and like new."
"Barba really went off on this guy." B grimaces at tossing a piece of skin into a bag. "Did he have to skin the guy?"
"We don't question the agents B. We just fix and make it squeaky clean." C answered. "The agents do what they get paid for. Just like us."
"But still, what could he have done to earn this?" B asked. "And in a police station!"
"Enough!" The oldest snapped. "I get you are new and this is probably the worst you have seen, but it's not going to be the last. They have their reasons and we don't question them. Understood?"
"Yes sir."
But he knew B was right. In the years he had been with the organization, he has come to know Rafael and his work. Rafael was a professional. Walked in and got the job done. He has seen just how bloody and emotionless he could be. But this was something else. Besides it being a job, this seemed like it was personal.
Time jump:
Olivia stepped into her office, sitting down in her chair with an exhausted sigh.
"Not sure if I should take that sigh as good news or not."
Olivia was startled looking to her couch and finding Barba with his head tossed back. "You still here?"
"I needed to know I wasn't going back in there." He lazily pointed to the interrogation room. "He's still in there."
Olivia stood at seeing Niko still in the room. To her surprise, he was fully dressed, clean, and had no signs of harm. Yet Barba's sleeve was spotted with blood. "No, we found her. She's with her parents at the hospital."
"That's good." He refused to look away from the ceiling. He didn't want to see the look of disgust or hatred she may have for him. "In that case, I should get going." Standing up he was hastily made his way to the door, only to be stopped by her velvet voice. "Yeah?"
"I don't see or hear from you in 6 months and when I do you just leave?" She scoffed. "You don't even answer Noah's calls and he calls you every night."
Barba dropped his head. "When you told me to leave, I told you it would be as if you have never known me."
"Noah has nothing to do with this." Olivia said. "Do you have any idea how difficult it was to tell him you wouldn't be around anymore? Hearing him cry himself to sleep because he misses you."
Barba turned around to face her. "The same it felt to give you up. As if someone was constantly stomping over your chest. Do you think it was easy for me to just up and leave? But I did it because that's what you wanted. You wanted space? I gave it to you. You wanted me out of your life? I gave it all up and left. I couldn't be around Noah, knowing I can't have you either. You think I don't miss that boy?" He was now standing inches from her. "I love Noah as if he was own flesh and blood. Being away from you and him is a stake to the heart every fucken day!"
"Rafa…" Olivia raised a hand to his jaw. The beard felt different on her palm.
"Don't." He leaned into her touch. "Whatever you want to say, don't. Not if it's just going to cause us both more pain."
"I've missed you."
"Mommy!"
Barba froze at the familiar child's voice. He thought about using the interrogation room as an escape route.
"Mom-" Noah froze at seeing the man in her mom's office. "Uncle Rafa?"
Barba looked at Olivia before turning to face the child. "Hola mijo." Barba reacted quickly in catching the boy in his arms. Hugging the boy close to him, he hid his face in the wild curly hair. Hiding the tears threatening to fall.
"I missed you so much!" Noah cried, holding him tightly around the neck. "You left us!"
Barba felt a ping in his chest at the hurt in Noah's voice. "I'm sorry mijo." Picking the child up, he walked to the couch and sat down with Noah in his laps. "I need you to listen to me, okay?"
"Okay."
"First, I am sorry I left without saying goodbye to you. And for not answering your calls." He kissed him on the head. "I have not been in the states. I've been working far away from here. But don't think that for a moment I have forgotten about you."
"Really?"
Barba pulled his wallet out. "Look, I always carry you and your mother with me." Opening the leather wallet, he held it out for Noah to see the photo. "Everywhere I go you two follow me. I feel alone, I pull this photo out and don't feel alone anymore."
Noah giggled at the face he was pulling in the picture. He had looked up to see Barba kissing his mother, which made him scrunch his nose up. "But you are going to stay now?"
Barba looked up at Olivia, who had a painful look. "I have to go back to work mijo. I have a few more things to do before I can leave that place."
"So, you are leaving again?" He turned and grabbed Barba's face forcing the man to look at him. "Why aren't you marrying mom anymore?"
Barba was stumped. For the first time in his life, he had to respond for his actions. Pay for the damage he has caused to those he loved. "We are taking a break."
"Is that why the scary man comes over?" Noah whispered, getting a stunned look from both adults.
Barba raised a brow. "Scary man?"
"Mom's friend." Noah laid his head on Barba's shoulder, playing with the wallet. "He came one night hitting the door and screaming. It woke me up. I went to the stairs and saw he was screaming at my mom."
Olivia gasped, her hand flying to her mouth. "Elliot."
Barba glared down at his hands. "Noah, here take this and ask your uncle Carisi to get you something to eat." Pulling a 20 out of the wallet, he handed it to Noah and waited until Lucy, Carisi, and Noah left the station. "Stabler and you in a relationship?"
"Don't ask me that." Olivia was still going over the fact that her son witnessed Elliot high that night. "Elliot came over that night high on something. He was undercover and to keep his cover, he had to take it."
Barba scoffed. "Right because that's what every UC does."
"Rafa, he had to-"
"Don't give me that bullshit." Barba snapped. "You and I know very well a UC cannot take anything while undercover. You find a way around it. If you, can't you stay out and wait for your handler."
"He's my par-was my partner." Olivia argued. "I couldn't turn him away."
"You shouldn't have let him into the loft." Barba lowered his tone, knowing yelling would just rile her up. "Noah is scared of him."
"I don't understand why he wouldn't just tell me." She glared at his scoff. "What?"
"He sees you hanging out with him. Being friends or whatever the hell you are. He isn't going to tell you he's scared of Elliot, knowing that can make you upset."
"We are just friends."
Suddenly a knock interrupted them. "Liv, you ready?" Elliot walked in with flowers, his smile dropping at seeing Barba.
Barba smiled with a scoff. "Just friends."
"Elliot, what are you doing here?" Olivia was too tired to deal with this.
Elliot handed her the roses, glaring at the man. "What is he doing here?"
Barba's phone chirped alerting a message.
'Ready for the prisoner.'
"Working, nothing else." Sending a message back, he gestured to the flowers. "She doesn't like roses. Just a small tip. Some officials are here to take Niko into custody." Seeing the look, she pulled he chuckled. "They won't harm him. But we can't have him opening his mouth to anyone. He's going to prison and if you trust me enough, you can always go to Rikers and see for yourself." Slipping his jacket on he noticed out of the corner of his eye, Elliot's arm slip around Olivia's waist. "Goodbye Captain Benson."
"Rafa, wait." Olivia frowned at feeling Elliot hold her back. "El let go." She looked over as Barba said his goodbye to Noah and turned the corner. "Let go." Ripping out of his hold she sped after him, only to catch him as the elevator doors closed. "Damn it." Walking back, she asked Lucy to watch Noah for a bit before closing her office door. "What the hell was that?"
"What was what?"
"Don't play stupid with me." She snapped. "You refused to let go when I asked you."
"Why would you even go after him?" Elliot spat. "Have you forgotten what it is he does?"
"I can't seeing how you remind me every time I see you." Olivia spat back. "And if I am being honest with you, I don't see how any of this concerns you."
"None of my concern?" Elliot scoffed. "Everything about you is my concern."
"When you left and didn't turn back was the day you lost any control over my life. You know regardless of what Rafael does, he never put me or Noah second. We were always first to him. Something you were never able to do when it was only me."
"That's not fair. We were passed this, suddenly he shows up and we are back to square one?"
"We were never past the start line Elliot. You apologized once for leaving that's it. Never again brought it back up." Olivia was trying to contain her temper, not wanting the others to hear their argument. "The three times we have gone out, you question about my life. Ask about Rafael, but the moment I bring the subject up you shut me down."
"I explained why I left." Elliot said. "I knew that if I saw you, I wouldn't have the courage to leave."
Olivia walked to her door and opened it. "Leave."
"Liv."
"You might not have had the courage, but I do." Olivia looked over at him, not wavering from his stare. "Leave."
Elliot stared at her for a moment before giving up. "Fine, you know where to find me."
Sitting back down at her desk, she dropped her head in her hands. She was doing moderately okay since Barba left. She had come to terms with not seeing him again. Her son was finally sleeping without asking for him. She was moving on with her life. Of course, there were still moments she would sit and think about him. Think about the what-ifs. What if she hadn't told him to leave. What if she looked the other way. What if she had stayed with him and married him? Those were some of the few thoughts that ran through her head. But many were dark as well. His job was not like hers. She made enemies along the way, hence Lewis. But he must have some as well and that was a fear she held onto. What if because of his assignments Noah or she were in danger?
"I can see the wheels in your head turning at 100 per second." Fin said.
"Where is Noah?"
He tossed his thumb over his shoulder. "With Lucy on the phone Barba."
Olivia sighed. "Did Noah call him again?"
"No, Barba did." Fin took a seat across from her. "How are you?"
Olivia sighed leaning back. "I don't know. Just when you think things are getting better, it returns to bite you in the ass."
"That bad?"
"No, it got me thinking."
Fin hummed. "Liv, I am going to ask you this once. Do you love the man?"
Olivia bit her lower lip. "I've tried forgetting him but it's been hard."
"I'll take that as a yes." He chuckled. "Then what's the problem?"
"Seriously?" Olivia gestured to the interrogation window. "Did you miss what happened in there?"
"Look, I am the first to admit I don't approve of that. But in the end, it's what he does. Besides, didn't you say he mention getting out of whatever this was?" Liv nodded. "Look, I am no one to be giving love advice. But I will tell you this, I have never seen you smile the way you did with him or look at someone with such love, other than Noah. When I first started here, I thought you were in love with Elliot, but I have come to see the difference now. Back then it was love, but not like this." Standing he paused by the door. "If to be truly happy is to be by his side, I say go for it. There is always a way around things."
"When did you become the wiser of the two?" Olivia chuckled.
"I have always been wise." Fin laughed. "I just don't use it on anyone."
"I feel lucky."
"You should be." Fin walked out with a deep laugh.
Time jump: A week
"Hey, Lucy I am leaving the office now. Sorry, I lost track of time." Olivia hurriedly gathered her stuff. "I will be there in a few minutes." As she turned her car on, her phone went off again. "Lucy?"
'No, it's carmen.'
"Carmen?" Olivia frowned. "What is it?"
'I know we are the last people you want to hear from, but I don't have anyone else I can ask for help.'
Anxiety began to rise in her. "What's going on? Rafael, okay?"
'An assignment went wrong and we can't pull him out.' There was a pause. 'He's injured, I don't know how bad. We lost contact after the struggle began.'
"What's the location?" Olivia was already ready to go.
'You are going to have to be careful, we aren't sure if the subjects are still there.'
"What's the location?"
'Last known location was a hotel. Sending it to your phone now.'
Pulling the text, she clicked the map open. "I am twenty out."
'Let us know once he is safe.'
"Yeah." Turning her sirens on she takes a harsh turn onto the freeway. Sending a quick text to Lucy, she offered the girl double pay for the extra time. She grumbled to herself as she took another turn. "Only Rafael would disappear for a week and show up injured."
It wasn't long before she turned into a hotel parking lot and rushed up to the room, carmen stated the signal was coming from. Walking into the room she gasped softly. Barba sat on the floor against the bed with a knife sticking out of his shoulder. Blood flowed from his wound, pooling on the carpet. Rushing to his side, she placed a hand gently on his shoulder pushing him forward to examine the knife. Her eyes were then drawn to the bullet wound in his side.
"What the hell happened to you?" Olivia whispered. "Who did this?"
Barba blinked a few times trying to convince himself she was actually there. "How did you find me?"
"Never mind that." Olivia mumbled. "We need to get you to a hospital."
"No!" Babra groaned at the pain in his side. "No, we can't. This can't be known."
"Okay, then let's get you somewhere safe." Olivia grabbed a towel from a nearby rack, putting it against the bullet wound on his side. "Any other injury?"
"No, just the knife and bullet." He looked up with a grim look. "I need you to pull it out."
Olivia was sure her eyes were the size of saucers. But seeing the pain he was in, got her moving. She was startled by both his jerk and hiss as she touched the knife. Olivia moved around to face him, cupping his jaw and staring into his eyes. They were heavy with tiredness, fighting him to close. She had never seen him in such a state of vulnerability. He was always the strong and proud, never allowing anyone to see him in such state. Leaning forward she kissed him, and one he responded with eagerness. It seemed as if he believed he would never have the chance again. Once he was distracted, Olivia reached for the knife and pulled it out. Barba pulled back with a loud yelp.
"Sorry." She whispered, pecking him on the lips.
Barba chuckled weakly. "Thank you, Amor."
"I need to take your shirt off, okay?" He nodded, leaning back against the bed once more. Olivia worked on his buttons, careful to not hurt his side either. Looking up she blushed at the heated look he was giving her. "What?"
"Reminds me of Rome." He mumbled; running his hand through her hair. "That night you undressed for me with a slow dance."
Olivia chuckled, too shy to look up at him. "You mean the night our hotel neighbors caught us on the balcony?"
"If you say so, I was to entertain by something much more appealing."
Opening his shirt, she smiled. He had very light hair on his chest. She always enjoyed running her hand over his chest. "This too."
Barba hummed, taking in a deep breath. "I know."
Looking up she sighed. "Come, let me take this off." Helping him out of his bloody shirt, she gasped at the wound. "It's bigger than I thought."
"That's what she said." He groaned at the slap on his shoulder. "Injured man here."
"Not funny Rafael." Walking into the bathroom, she grabbed the first aid kit to clean out the wound. Once the blood was gone, she was able to begin stitching up his knife wound. Satisfied with her work, she turned her focus to his side. "The bullet out?" He nodded; his eyes focused on the wall in front of him. Following the same steps as before, I gathered the bloody clothes and tossed them into the trash. "Clothes?"
"In my car." He mumbled.
"Want to tell me what happened?" Olivia asked.
Barba debated on staying quiet, but there were already enough lies between them. "Assignment went wrong. I was to snatch and interrogate a henchman to some high-profile businessman. I don't know who it was and they wouldn't tell me until I had him secured and ready to begin. Avoids any possible interceptions." A groan escaped past his lips as he adjusted himself. "Long story short, we didn't realize the bastard had a tracking chip inside him. His posey came looking for him. I can handle my own, but even I fold when ten men come gun blasting towards me."
"Where was this?" He couldn't have walked very far with those injuries.
Barba laughed. "Warehouse across the street."
Olivia gapped at the man. "Are you insane?! What if they followed you here!"
"They just wanted the man." Barba coughed. "Besides I may have played dead as they left."
"I can't with you." Olivia groaned. "Come on, let's get you to the loft."
Barba groaned as he was helped up off the ground. "No, Noah."
"He's at Lucy's right now." Grabbing her keys, she walked him out of the room and helped him towards the car. "She's watching him all night and taking him to school in the morning." Helping him into the car, she jogged to the driver's side and took off to her place. Barba took her hand in his never letting go the entire drive.
