When Naboo and Bollo had arrived home, having had some urgent Shamanic business to attend to (there was a sale on at 'Turbans'R'Us'), they emerged at the top of the stairs to find Tara, blissfully unaware that she had company, chopping vegetables while singing at the top of her voice.
'… Said you look so fine and I really wanna make you mine…'
'Hi Tara. TARA!'
Her head snapped round, causing her neck to crick. 'Ah!' she exclaimed, rubbing it. 'Hi.' She added, pulling out her earphones.
'Where's Howard and Vince?'
'Um, Vince is in the shower and Howard went out to get… something… well, I can't remember, but he's not here. Garlic and mozzarella chicken alright with you?' she asked, indicating the oven.
'Cool.'
As Naboo walked over to the sofa and turned the telly on, Bollo approached Tara and asked 'You want help?'
'Nah, s'alright thanks Bollo, I got it cov- Good Garden Peas! What are you wearing!'
Vince had returned from his shower wearing full Elizabethan costume, including poofy sleeves and knee-length trousers.
'Like it?' he asked, giving them a whirl.
'You look like a Shakespearian extra.'
'The Elizabethan look's coming back, alright? Obviously I'm not going to wear it all at once – I'll make it more subtle, mix and match, like.'
'You're a crazy person.' Said Tara, returning to her red cabbage, which went by the name of Keith, as Vince went to get changed.
'Has he always been like that?' asked Naboo.
'I'm afraid so. Although, he didn't used to be quite so cutting-edge.'
Vince, in the middle of pulling on a fresh-from-the-sewing-machine customised t-shirt, suddenly had a feeling that something very very bad was happening in the living room. He emerged just in time to hear Tara begin 'One time he wore-'
'Tara! No!'
Sensing imminent danger, she moved around behind the sofa, but nevertheless continued 'this military jacket-'
'Argh!' Vince leapt across the sofa and tackled his little sister to the floor, desperately tried to get his hand over her mouth, but she managed to yell out 'for months after it went out of fashion!'. Now, many of you out there may be thinking, 'so what?' but you must understand, for a fashionista like Vince, it was fashion or death, and more revelations like this could mean the end of him.
Just as Vince let out a triumphant 'Ha!' at finally managing to shut her up, Tara reached down and tickled his side, causing him to collapse in a fit of giggles. She then expertly rolled him off of her and onto his front, pinning his arms behind his back.
'It was due for a quick comeback!' he cried.
'Sure it was. And your predictions weren't always up to scratch were they? Remember that time you thought men's belly tops were making a comeback?'
Vince wailed into the rug. 'No! I've changed! That was the old me! He's dead now! I've reformed!'
At that moment, Howard emerged from the stairs, and took in the scene unfolding before him. Bollo was holding the end of the coffee table, having pulled it away from the fray, Naboo was knelt up on the sofa, looking down at Tara and Vince. She was on top, straddling his back (I know what you're thinking. They're brother and sister ok? You naughty people!) and he was wailing loudly into the floorboards, so that the small race of people (known as the Shelfonians) living between the floors were permanently deafened and as a consequence, all perished the next week as Naboo vacuumed the skirting board, where they tended to congregate, being unable to hear the fatal hoover.
'What the-?'
'Hi Howard! Just a little brother-sister bonding!' said Tara chirpily, finally letting Vince up off of the floor. He dusted himself down and returned to his bedroom to finish getting changed, tossing Howard a casual 'Alright?' as he passed.
The unusual spectacle being over, Naboo and Bollo sat back on the sofa and switched the telly on, as Tara went back to 'slaving over a hot stove' as she put it.
A little later, dinner was ready and Tara called them all to the table, and they all began to eat.
'So, Howard' she said 'Vince tells me you're a musician.'
'Oh yes, I certainly am' he replied, looking very smug.
'What instrument do you play?'
'Oh, I'm a multi-instrumentalist, I can turn my hand to any instrument. At the moment I'm experimenting with dual opposing semi-domed impromptu percussion instruments'
'He plays the spoons' Vince chipped in.
Howard glared at him. 'Do you play an instrument?' He asked Tara.
'Not to an extensive degree, but I do like to play the piano, and sing of course.'
'Yeah, but you're not really any good are ya?' Vince said
Tara indicated Vince with her thumb, saying to the others 'The undying support of an older brother.' Turning back to Vince she asked 'Are you saying I have no musical prowess?'
His fork paused on its way upwards, and his tongue poked out the corner of his mouth. 'Not really, no.'
'Oh yeah? Who are you, Captain Clement and his twelve types of custard?'
'I never said you didn't have any talent, just that you're not very musically talented.'
'Oh, any you are, are you?'
'I happen to be one of the best up-and-coming front men there is.'
'What band are you in this week then?'
'The Begotten Limpets'
'What do the Begotten Limpets play?'
'….Music…' Tara raised an eyebrow. 'Look, that's not important alright, I'm the frontman, my job's all about image, not about what sorta music we play. But we're the limpets alright, whatever style we are, we grab on and stick to it.'
'You and your image. I only hope there isn't a similar incident as when you were in the Gimcracks.' Vince suddenly looked sheepish. 'Oh, you still remember that then? Haven't repressed it?'
'I had to do something!'
'Vince, you set fire to the bassists wardrobe!'
'Listen, there was no way I was letting him go on stage in that tracksuit!'
'Don't you think it was a little extreme?'
'Maybe.'
Tara smiled nostalgically. 'Good times.'
After dinner, they cleared up, and Vince and Tara taught the others how to play 'Hello Jack', which got steadily more fun the more alcohol they consumed. Howard ended up loosing.
'Bollocks!' he exclaimed, throwing down his cards.
'All right, all right, no need to get testy!' Tara replied, punning like piranha in Peru. Vince snickered as Howard announced that he was going to bed, and Naboo and Bollo followed suit.
'You like that?' she asked, getting up and going to the window.
'That's quite good yeah'
Looking out of the window, Tara said 'Man, I miss the stars. You can't see any stars here, because of all the light. At least you can still see the moon.'
'When you are the moon… people say you made of cheese… uuh, but the moon is not made of cheese…. I's got a face, is cream… but the moon is not made of cheese. Is all dairy, but… is different… yeah.'
Vince yawned like a lion whose had a hard day of lying about in the shade, and came home to the den to find that the cubs needed help with long division. Tara watched him and smiled. 'Its nice to be back Vince'
He hugged her. 'Its nice to finally have you. G'night.'
'Night'
Well, there you go, chapter four. WhenI was trying to think of a way for Howard to describe the spoons,I went on answerbank for help and someone suggested 'mastication facilitators'. Hehe. Masication.
Please read and REVIEW! Or I'll come at you like a psycho flowerpot man. And you wouldn't want that now, would you? Really? Are you sure? Well, do it anyway.
