I'll try to update as much as possible this week, but there will probably be about two weeks where there won't be any updates, since I'll be in Europe. I'll post a lot to make up for that, though! And this chapter is really strange, as I wrote it last year at about two in the morning after coming back from the fair, so…it's interesting.
From-Heaven2Earth – Funny IS good! Hehe…you tend to learn sneaky tricks like that when you deal with little kids a lot. Here's another chapter!
Thejedistarfiregrayson – Thank you! Ty is my pal. ;) And may the Force be with you as well!
SailorLeia – Thank you! Han and Leia need to learn those tricks, since they have a little one on the way.
TheRealLeia – Why, thank you! Here's some more!
Dovasary – Thank you! I know, I also think it's so funny when little kids are grossed out by kissing. Uh, this thing is over 70 chapters. It gets even crazier pretty soon, but those are my favorite chapters. I'll see what you guys think. :D
Chapter 45
The next day Han and Leia decided that they were tired of having Ty cooped up in the house. They didn't want to have another incident like the one the night before, so they took him to the New Alderaan Fair with the hope that this would tire him out enough that he would fall asleep tonight without a major incident. The fair was only around for a week, and was really only an excuse for the former rebels to get drunk, but it was perfect (perhaps too perfect) timing for the two tired adults. Corellia Land had been wonderful for the three of them, and this didn't seem like it would be too different.
Han and Leia paid for the three tickets, and the three of them were searched (which was rather pointless considering who they were), and had their hands stamped. Bright multi-colored lights flashed regardless of the fact that it was daytime, enticing patrons to go on the rides. Ignoring the crowded attractions, Han and Leia started in the direction of the "kiddie rides," while Ty wandered off in the other direction.
"Hey kid, where are you going?" Han asked, realizing that their diminutive friend was not following them.
"I want to go on that ride," he claimed, pointing up.
Han and Leia followed the direction of Ty's finger, their gazes ending upon a ride that spun in three different directions at a speed of approximately 100 kilometers per hour. The main part of the structure revolved around an axis, and held about ten different "arms" that each held three pairs of seats. Each arm and pair of seats spun on their own axes, providing a dizzying amount of spinning. The ride also looked as if it were about to fall apart. The creaking could be heard from where they stood, about 100 meters away.
"Uh, Ty, I don't think you want to go on that ride," Han warned.
"Yeah, I do!" Ty retorted.
"Why don't you want to go on those rides over there?" Han asked, pointing to the rides that were more suitable for seven-year-olds.
"Those are boring. That one looks like it's a lot more fun, like the rides at Corellia Land," Ty responded.
"Well, okay. I guess you can go on it. If you're tall enough, that is," Han said, not interested in getting into an argument today.
So the three of them headed to the "Hyperspace Heave," as the ride was called, the creaking becoming louder and louder as they moved closer.
"How is it so rickety when these rides are supposed to be new?" Leia asked Han, becoming more nervous with every moment.
He shrugged. "I dunno. I guess they just put them together too fast. I can't really see that they would make amazing, high-quality rides in only a few months."
"Oh, great," Leia returned. "All I know is that I'm not going on. I'm pregnant, and even if I wasn't, I don't have a death wish."
"Well, I suppose I should go on with him. I'm not afraid, anyway. I don't think that a ride can scare me after everything I've been through," Han claimed.
"Famous last words," Leia said, laughing.
With that, Han and Ty got in line for the ride. Ty rubbed his hands together in excitement, Han shuffled his feet in annoyance, and Leia chucked softly to herself. This would certainly be an interesting experience for everyone.
Han and Ty were let onto the ride, and they climbed into their seats. They pulled down the restraining lever (which was suspiciously loose) so that it was over their legs, and prepared for flight.
The garish orange and green contraption rose, and for a moment everything seemed fine. The seats revolved slowly around their axes, and it seemed as if the ride only looked terrifying. Then the chaos began. The ride began picking up speed, and kept on increasing until it seemed as if the G-forces would have the skin on their faces stretched downward permanently. Nothing definite was visible anymore, as all images blurred into a swirl of colors. The velocity was so intense that it wasn't even possible to scream; Han had certainly tried enough times. The ride ended after an eternity, and all riders stumbled from their seats. Ty was smiling, while Han looked as if he were about to throw up.
"Let's go on again!" Ty squealed.
Han was not able to form words after the trauma that he had endured, but he managed to give Ty a glare that informed the boy quite well of what he thought of the idea.
They looked around for Leia, and were able to locate her on a bench in between the other two Leias. She was doubled over in laughter, and when she looked up and saw the pallid face of her husband, she broke out into a burst of laughter that was likely heard all across the fair. When she regained her linguistic abilities she tried to make up for her rudeness.
"Let's go get you something to drink," Leia told him, taking his hand and trying (somewhat unsuccessfully) not to laugh.
Han nodded slightly, which only seemed to worsen the dizziness, but Leia understood.
So the three of them traipsed to the various food stands, and Leia was able to find one that actually offered water rather than alcoholic beverages. Any other time Han would have practically begged her to get her to get him ale instead, but now he was barely able to walk, let alone hold alcohol well. After Leia paid for the water (which cost 5 credits), she turned to the right to hand it to Han, and saw a sight that she did not think she would ever witness in her lifetime. She rubbed her eyes to make sure that she was actually seeing this, and after a moment realized that she was not, in fact, hallucinating.
Mon Mothma, stone-cold drunk at 1200, was chasing a Gamorrean while pointing at him menacingly with a fork. She had her hair up in two tufts (likely a result of a drunken attempt to use the free samples of hair gel at a nearby booth), and kept on shouting, "come here, porky!" at the top of her lungs. For an outfit she wore a red mechanic's suit that bore the name "Erwin," with a puce polka-dotted blanket wrapped around her neck like a cape. She was also barefoot.
Leia and Han looked upon this scene with shocked silence. Laughter was not even forthcoming, as the image was too unbelievable to provoke any sort of response. The scene was certainly possible, as there was no senate meeting today and there was plenty of alcohol to go around, but…it just wasn't possible. So Han and Leia took Ty's hands and did what anyone else would do in their situation (besides laughing hysterically)…they backed away slowly.
