Hey, sorry everyone about not getting responses to your replies up. I really appreciate everyone who takes the time to review, and all my readers out there, lurkers and all (don't be afraid to reveal yourselves – I don't bite!). It's just that I have to leave for the airport in about three hours, so I don't have much time, but I wanted to get these chapters up before I "went to bed." Bon appetite!
Chapter 51
"The Baby Shower" part 2
Han looked over the crowd of women, unbelieving that anyone would pass this game up. He decided to try to do some recruiting.
"Well, Luke and me are gonna play. C'mon, Chewie, you can play too."
Chewie shook his head emphatically.
"Hey, Mon!" he yelled to Mon Mothma. "Join in, you know you want to."
She considered for a moment, and then shook her head. "I promised the institute…I mean, myself, that I wouldn't drink anymore."
"C'mon Helena, Malla – hey, even Ty can play!"
The women gasped.
"Tell me you didn't just tell a seven-year-old child that he could drink alcohol," Gladyis huffed.
"No! I meant that he could play, but he wouldn't drink ale. He would drink juice, or blue milk instead. Of course I wouldn't want him to drink alcohol!"
The women exchanged glances, and through their unspoken network decided that they did not believe him. Helena approached Han, eyes fiery.
"After all you did for Ty, I can't believe that you would set such a bad example! He's only seven!"
"Helena – I swear I didn't mean that. I just didn't get to finish what I was saying."
"Sure, and you're pregnant, too."
As the women began moving closer to Han menacingly, Leia pushed through the crowd and up to her husband.
"I, for one, believe Han. He may have been lying before, but he's not lying now. He would never give a child permission to drink ale."
"Of course you side with him - you're his wife!" a woman in the crowd exclaimed.
"I may be his wife, but I am also a Jed trainee who can sense lies, and, in case you have forgotten, this is my baby shower. So everyone is going to play the games, eat the food, watch me open presents, and gossip merrily for the rest of the party. And I don't want any more fighting. Understand?"
The women were unable to argue with Leia's command, and begrudgingly backed off of the subject. Per Leia's order, they listened as Han explained the game again, and this time seven women volunteered to play, and they decided that they would let Ty play as long as his drink was not alcoholic. Han filled up one of the bottles with juice, and put it on the table with the others. The ten of them lined up, fingers reaching for the bottles, as they awaited Leia's signal.
As soon as Leia signaled, everyone picked up their bottle and began drinking. Han, Luke, and Ty started off strong (with Ty displaying drinking skills that caused his mother much worry), but the women surprised everyone with their avidness for the game. One woman in particular, Gladyis Tubeck, began catching up, until she was tied for the lead with Han. Han gave her a side-glance, brow furrowing, and began drinking even faster, not wanting to spoil his reputation, of course (though his reputation would most likely be ruined as a result of the baby shower anyway). He downed the bottle and began spinning in circles, the room turning into a blue haze. He was pretty sure that he crashed into one of the women, and was not quite sure how many times he had turned around, but staggered to the table with the dolls and diapers. From the corner of his eye he saw a flash of pink and green, and realized that one of the women (probably Gladyis) was already at the table. He grabbed one of the diapers and hurriedly opened it, unsure of which part was the front and which part was the back. He therefore haphazardly put the diaper on the doll, stumbled toward Leia, and shouted, "done!" as he crashed into a couch. The others were all either finishing the bottles or in the process of spinning (apparently unaware that the game was over), but Gladyis was pointing at the dolls, grinning.
"You may have finished before me, General Solo, but you didn't put the diaper on correctly," she stated proudly.
"What'dya mean? That wasn't a rule!" Han countered.
"Well, it should have been. Don't you agree, ladies?" she asked sweetly.
Several of the women made unenthusiastic affirmations.
"See?" Gladyis smirked.
"Not really. Why does that matter anyway? There's not a prize or anything."
"Well, I want to be able to tell my friends that I can drink faster than Han Solo. And I still think that I should get a prize."
"Wait one minute there. First of all, you didn't drink faster than me. I most definitely finished that part before you. I also put the diaper on the doll before you, whether or not it's perfect. I don't have as much experience with that as you do, if you can recall. And there aren't any prizes, so stop talking about them."
At this point everyone had either finished or stopped playing the game, and Luke decided to intervene.
"Why don't we ask Leia what she thinks?" he asked.
Everyone turned to Leia for her response, and she shrugged.
"Han was the first one to finish. You can't expect someone to put a diaper on perfectly when they're completely dizzy."
"There you have it," Luke said. "No more arguing."
Gladyis opened her mouth to give a statement to the contrary, but stopped upon seeing that everyone else was nodding in agreement with Luke.
"Okay," Han grinned. "Now we can start with another game. I'm sure everyone will like this game better."
Luke went ahead with the instructions. "In this game, we will find out who can draw the best baby. Everyone will have a piece of flimsplast and a pen to use, but you have to put the flimsplast on your head and draw the baby while it is there. No cheating!"
The women seemed to react to this game more favorably, and took the materials without complaint. Once everyone was ready, Luke spoke again.
"Okay, everyone has thirty seconds to draw. Start…now!"
Everyone began drawing furiously, some drawing circles that barely looked like circles let alone babies, some attempting to draw the outline of a baby, and some just drawing…something. When the thirty seconds was up everyone looked at their drawing in surprise.
Chewie growled. This game is unfair to Wookiees. Look at this!
Chewie showed his drawing to Malla, whose drawing had similar squiggles.
Han looked at his drawing, and grinned. "I never knew I could draw so good!"
He went to show his drawing to Leia, but upon comparing his drawing to hers took back his enthusiastic response. Somehow she had managed to draw a perfect baby on the top of her head. How was that possible?
Ty and the women looked over each other's drawings, and though some had very fine attempts, no drawing could measure up to Leia's. She was unanimously chosen winner of the game.
"I never knew you were an artist, Princess!" one of the women said.
"Me neither," Han agreed. "Well, Leia, it looks like it doesn't matter that we didn't buy any prizes. So far you and me are the only winners."
"You'd better believe that I'll be expecting a prize from you later, General."
Han smirked, and the room was uncomfortably silent for a moment before Luke cleared his throat.
"Well, we have one more game, and then we can eat," he assured. "Why don't you explain this one, Han?"
"Okay," Han agreed. "The object of this game is to see who has the best memory, and can recognize the most baby products. Luke will bring out a tray filled with baby things, and will take it away after a minute. You have to write down everything that you remember from the tray, and whoever has the most right wins."
He leaned down to whisper to Luke. "Tell me again why we're doing this."
"Because Leia wants us to, that's why. This is the last game, then we can just eat and get drunk," Luke whispered in return.
"Sounds good. Go get the tray so we can be done with this."
As Luke went to get the tray, Chewie growled at Han.
This game is not fair to Wookiees, either! he barked.
"Do you really want to play, Chewie?"
No, but Malla and Lumpy do!
"Well, then I can write for them. It's not a big deal."
Chewie woofed in agreement, and crossed his arms as Han sat down next to them. Some of the guests looked at him suspiciously.
"I'm just gonna write down what they say, don't worry! I'm not gonna cheat for them. I can't remember everything there is, anyway."
They seemed to take his assurance well, and turned their attentions elsewhere. Luke brought the tray out and set it out on a table in the middle of the room. Everyone crowded around it, trying to take in as many of the items as possible. There were diapers, rattles, bottles, medicine, lotion, and many other necessary baby items. Some of the products were very obscure, and the partygoers tried to keep those in their memory especially. As soon as Luke took the tray away people began writing furiously, trying to write everything from memory before it slipped from their minds. Han tried to keep up with Malla and Lumpy as they dictated (who now seemed to have an advantage over the other guests as they were combining their knowledge), but they were going too fast for him, and they growled at him every time he missed what they were saying. Han just wasn't having a good day.
"Time's up," Luke said a minute later, causing everyone to groan. "All right, who has ten or more items listed?"
Five guests, including Malla and Lumpy, raised their hands/paws.
"How many does everyone have?"
The guests stated their amounts, and Malla and Lumpy were found to have the most items with eighteen listed. Luke checked them to be sure that they were all correct, and affirmed that Malla and Lumpy were the winners. When he said this, guests were outraged (yet again).
"They cheated! Not only did they work together, they had him writing everything down for them!" a woman who had previously kept quiet exclaimed, pointing at Han.
Han tried to intercede. "I had to write for Malla and Lumpy because writing is difficult for them, and there was no one else who could do it, so I had to write down what both of them said. And, once again, why does anyone care? It's just a stupid baby shower game."
The women gasped (yet again).
"Just a stupid baby shower game? My word!" a woman huffed.
"Who is that?" Han mumbled to Malla.
She shrugged.
"This is a matter of principle, General Solo! Though you do not seem to have any principles, so you wouldn't know about that," Gladyis sniffed.
"Now, just stop right there, sister," Han started angrily. "I can handle just so much stuff like that for Leia's sake. You go and say that I don't have any principles, and you've gone too far. What makes you think your principles are so much better than mine? Sure, I used to be a smuggler, but so what? Do you see me smuggling now? And just where were you during the Rebellion? Let's see, while you were who knows where, I was out there fighting for the Rebellion that brought down the Empire and allowed you to be here today. So don't you go preaching to me about principles."
Everyone's attention had been diverted to Han, and as he finished an awkward silence pervaded the room.
"Well," Luke said, breaking the silence. "Who wants cake?"
