Here is the chapter guys sorry for the delay.

Any Chinese in this chapter was taken from Google translate, to anyone who knows chinese, I apologise for the headaches.


Chapter 19


Here is Shampoo! I guess.

I won't say 'earlier than I thought' because I never had any idea when she was going to arrive. The location was a bit of a surprise, but it did make sense, there was nothing guaranteeing she would aim for Nerima from the get-go. For all I knew she could have seen Ranma in the local news or something and that was how she figured out where to look. The guy did get involved in a lot of big tournaments before her appearance in the anime, after all.

But I will geekily allow myself an 'as expected' because, really, she would show up one way or another. Sure, this new crossover world opened the possibility that she would get killed or derailed by something else on her way here, but that's not how Saotome Ranma's luck worked.

"I hate this! I hate this! I hate this! Why did she have to show up!?" My friend bravely whined towards the heavens as we Mirror's Edge'd our way across Suginami Ward's vast sea of rooftops.

Angry Chinese shouts frequently involving the word 'Ranma' echoed close behind. Frankly, I didn't even have to look to picture the path our pursuer was taking. Even standing close to her line of fire was an effective way to grind for my Detect Killing Intent skill.

"Crazy china chick, am I right!?" I called out solitarily, but Ranma was too lost in her China Flashbacks to hear.

Speaking of line of fire. My detection suddenly sharpened, and I glanced back to see another volley of weapons flying towards us- well, towards Ranma. Even with me running interference in the background, Shampoo was still hyper-focused on her target.

In this case, I ignored all the knives and swords and throwing daggers and focused on the warhammer and the metal staff. Pushing my acrobatics abilities to the limits, I barely managed to bounce, leap, and strike at the weapons in a way that didn't affect my speed and balance too much… Alright, the important thing was that I fell on my feet and running, no matter how I badly stumbled.

The weapons I targeted - all of them from the same ultra-heavy variety of Shampoo Ball 'n Sticks - veered off from their trajectory and rather than plowing straight through residential areas, they just ripped across tiles and shattered windows before falling to the street below. About the same thing happened with Ranma and the lighter, bladed stuff.

In fact, I looked up in time to see my red-haired friend kicked off from the last sword, pirouetting artistically in the air and landing couples of roofs ahead, going even faster than before.

Godfucking—she's cursing up a storm and she's still showing off!

Also, no fucking way Shampoo doesn't know Mousse's hidden weapons trick thing; it stopped being a question after the polearms.

Catching up by physical ability alone is impossible for me at this point, so I was forced to rely on other means. My next landing was punctuated by the buildup of energy in my legs, mana rushing to my feet like pressured blood on an open wound. A resonant 'pop' saw me flying ahead with more than just my strength, having shot a banishing-style Mana bolt – now finally renamed in my head as Banishing Bolt – through the sole of my feet to boost my acceleration. A heat of the moment move I came up with during my frog-demon fight, now modified to specifically give me bursts of incredible speeds to further enhance my bullshit range of options.

It did exchange speed for finesse, though, so my method of escaping from the Chinese blender and getting back to Ranma involved a lot of emergency rooftop damage.

"Hey Ranma, to the right!" I called out once I got close enough, my tone serious this time around. It made my friend cut her epic whiny rant in the middle.

"I know, I remember!" She shouted back, and bounced her way into a sharp right turn to the right, the movements so clean it was as if she sprouted wings and turned on her own.

I tried using the same surfaces she did and just about managed, but my passing involved a lot more magic and a lot less skill, so those steps turned into cracks and craters and shattered tiles. Not that our pursuer would care, she'd bullrush through the buildings if it'd get to us faster.

A reasonably large, partially forested area suddenly appeared among the urban dwellings. Our destination. I had no idea of the name of this municipal park, but thank God Haruka managed to remember its location. Gave us a perfect place to take on the crazy amazon without causing even more havoc.

Ranma flowed into a crouched landing and swirled around to face Shampoo's direction before she even finished sliding into a stop. I landed close by and bleed the momentum in a roll before jerking upwards and moving to stand beside her.

A second later, Shampoo crash-landed on the other side of the park. Opening yet another crater to add to the collection Suginami Ward was acquiring from our brief stay, and throwing up another thick cloud of dust.

And of course, she took this opportunity to dramatically rise to her feet within the cloud, complete with ominous silhouette and mysterious glowing dots for the eyes. When she was visible again, she raised her wrecking-ball-on-a-stick – really need to figure out how this weapon's called – and glared at us with her bright, crimson eyes, her expression halfway from hot fury and cold determination.

But she didn't immediately leap for an attack, which might have boggled the mind of an onlooker who'd witnessed how she was acting till now.

The reason for that is simple; rather than face her opponent directly, Ranma had turned her body sightly to my direction, not enough to take Shampoo out of her sight but clearly indicating that her attention was divided between the amazon and myself.

You see, one thing I've come to learn in my martial art lessons is that martial artists and the deeper world of martial arts have their own insulated culture, or at least, a code of ethics and behavior they all follow in some way or another. It's pretty clear this wasn't something that was compiled or written somewhere, Ranma never sat down with me and told me the rules and taboos of martial arts, this was something I pieced together from multiple comments and demonstrations, secondary or tertiary elements he informed me while teaching me something else. Things that are like they are 'because they just are' with most likely someone has done something, and it was repeated afterward by another party and then repeated again until it became tradition. Heck, there are some things he didn't even comment on but started to just make sense once I started living a life where the world at large was generally more fragile than my own body.

Right now, we're engaging in a complex interplay. Shampoo has initiated a brawl in her assassination attempt, something that has no to very few rules attached to it. But now Ranma had dragged her to an open, clear field, with complete visibility for both opponents, while also stopping running and turning around to stand her ground. Basically, taking that initial brawl and turning it into a proper duel. Now there was more meaning in this fight, so more rules apply to it; this would be one a one, there will be a time before the start, even if just enough for both combatants to enter their stance, and more importantly, and Ranma has also indicated that she had some last things to hash things out with a third party – in this case, me! – so it bought us a few more seconds to talk parallel to the event.

This might have not worked, it's not like every martial artist was honor-bound to follow these procedures, and Shampoo was a martial artist from another country, who knew how her tradition and culture would fit in this. Thankfully, it did work. Though, personally, I think the only reason it did was the certainty this fight now had. Ranma will fight Shampoo, she will win or she will die.

I let out a breath that came out with a misty quality to it. The beginnings of a chilly night.

Been less than fifteen minutes since I've seen Shampoo, but I can already tell she's gonna be a handful.

"Can you do your part?" I asked.

Ranma let out a tomboyish snort in response. Already stretching her arms and shoulders in preparation. "I'm more worried about your plan. You do have one, right?"

"Yeah."

How to deal with Shampoo was one of the background subjects that often crossed my mind when I had some free time. Not gonna lie, after the thing with Kodachi, I entertain the thought of stealing her for myself. It would be easy, especially now that I had a confirmation of her level and could gauge her strength with my own eyes. I could win a fight against her, I'm certain of that, all I had to do was to win before she found out about Ranma's true gender, and she would be mine. Her gorgeous looks in real life only added to the temptation.

But an engagement with Shampoo would bring not only the attention of Cologne, but also ties to Joketsuzoku and its mysterious laws and traditions, which by what I've seen and read was just as likely to blow up in my face as it was to benefit me. Plus, there was the fact that deliberately stealing one of my best friend's fiancés or future fiancé, even one he barely knows feels like a scummy thing to do. Sure, Shampoo brought Ranma a lot of headaches, but because of her and her grandmother he has grown a lot stronger, hell, his most powerful and iconic techniques came directly from them, and from what I remember from the anime, he would grow to genuinely like Shampoo later on, I don't want to take that away from him.

But there was also the compelling argument that Shampoo would bring a lot, and I mean a lot of trouble to him, the kind of trouble he didn't deserve Maybe the right move would be to cut that by the bud and spare him from the later trauma.

In the end… I decided that I'm not really good with all this scheming and manipulation stuff when I'm not doing it to amuse myself.

So, I decided to just go with what felt right.

Ranma frowned during my contemplation. "No offense, but I'm not expectin' much. Pops and I tried a lot of tricks against her and none of it got her to stop. Girl just bullrush through anythin' you plan!"

Heh, ironic, considering that's one of Ranma's most effective strategies.

At this point, Shampoo was growing visibly impatient. But the sight of Haruka rushing into the park gave her some pause.

My kohai looked at the amazon and decided to take the long route to circle towards us. By the time she stopped at Ranma's other she was drenched in sweat when and panting like an animal, but she kept herself upright rather than bending on her knees and trying to recover some breath like I'd imagined she would.

"Got… Ahh… To anyone I could reach… Huff… Had them evacuate the area or get into their homes…"

I gave her a nod to acknowledge her efforts but continued to address Ranma.

"If all else fails we just deliver her to the police." I try to reassure.

I mean, the amazon did just trash a dinner and left a trail of destruction pursuing us – 'what is it, officer? Some of it was my fault? Madness! It's all on the crazy Chinese Foreigner, obviously! – this might have got her some casual shrugs or a rant from a furious restaurant owner in Nerima, but around these parts this gets the police and the local news called. Drama queens...

My words got me another way-too-sexy-sounding snort from the shortstack. "What are they gonna do?"

Pass her to a department that deals with stuff of this nature. Contact the History Compilation Committee. Deport her.

"Keep her out of our hair till we can come up with a better plan." I decided.

"That's fair."

The amazon at the distance took a step forward, cracking the pavement under her feet. The message was clear. No more waiting.

"This won't take long," Ranma said, then, to my surprise, turned to Haruka. "You watch me."

The blonde nodded dutifully. "Hai!"

The shortstack squared her shoulders and began to stride forwards, mirroring the pace of the amazon before her. Haruka did what she was told and kept her eyes on Ranma as she finished getting her breath back under control.

"You have a plan right, sempai?"

"Yeah, but the first part depends on Ranma." I cocked a grin and gave the blonde a sideway glance. "You know he told you to watch his technique, right?"

I had the pleasure to hear a muffled squawk before she quickly redirected her attention from where it was. "Y-You were looking too!"

Heh, guilty as charged.

The distance between the two combatants lowered until only meters separated them. There was a moment of silence as Ranma and Shampoo faced each other, a suspiciously fitting breezed cut through the area, billowing their hair and the silk of their clothes. Time almost seems to slow down as the last of the drifting leaves slowly descended and meet the ground.

And then it started.

In the anime, Ranma was shown defeating Shampoo with a single kick. I have no idea if that was how it went down in reality or if it was just a representation. After that, from what I remember from the anime, the few times Ranma directly fought against Shampoo, the battles were usually short and quick. Their difference in skill was simply too great.

And this was with the Ranma from the anime. The Ranma of now was one who has fought and bled every single day, who had dealt with multiple situations that could see him dead or worse, who had acquired a wealth of experience he simply hadn't in the show at this point in time. So the difference in skills that always existed between Ranma and Shampoo only grew.

But it didn't end in a single strike, even though I'm sure it could. No, this time Ranma took a different approach. She steadied herself and almost seemed to relax over her form, then, when the first of Shampoo's relentless attacks came to almost brushing distance of her skin, she dodged, her body slipping out of the way in a blindly fast blur, just enough to get out of the attack's path, before she abruptly deaccelerated into the relaxed, flowing state. She did that again, and again, and again, and again, flipping through Shampoo's efforts like a leaf carried by a windstorm, her blue eyes fixed upon the amazon's form with a calm focus, watching, judging.

It was worse than if she had ended it in a single strike.

Not that Shampoo wasn't making a good show, oh no. Before, I had the impression that I could win against her in a fight, I'm still confident that I could, but now I'm certain that I'd have to rely on all my tricks and strategies to do that. She'd win against me in a straight martial art match. In fact, now that I could actually see her fighting style in real life and not the version I witnessed from a tv screen, I'll say it was rather impressive, no, breathtaking really.

This was far from the wanton brutality she'd displayed when chasing after Ranma and I. She was still pissed off, but now her red-hot fury was channeled into her movements, an exotic set of kata that bore only a passing semblance to common Chinese kenpo, composed mostly of precision strikes that fluctuated between high and low, almost like a tireless landslide rumbling down a vast hill, only getting bigger, faster, and more vicious as the momentum build up. All accentuated by the amazon's heavy, emotional battle cries that followed her every strike. She wasn't blowing everything around her anymore, in fact, the destruction she caused was very intentional, either to deny Ranma solid ground for her next step or to raise the dust enough to cloud her sight.

As if on cue, I heard Haruka's breath catch beside me as she witnessed a martial art fight that could make most kung fu movies look like a toddler's match. No idea how much she was able to see though, I certainly felt like I couldn't look away for a second if I wanted to keep up.

However, Like Ranma promised. It did not last long.

Fifty-two seconds after the first blow was thrown, Ranma seems satisfied with whatever she was doing. Then Shampoo stepped into her guard, looking to capitalize on an apparent opening with a thrust that would carve through a normal man's chest if not avoided, but avoided it was, and the blur of Ranma's arms could be seen circling Shampoo outstretched one as the red-haired slip her body out of the way like she had done since the match started.

With a precision no doubt aided by Dr. Tofu's anatomical books and casual lessons (Two weeks of setting delinquents against monsters resulted in a lot of hours spent in his clinic, I made sure to milk the man's knowledge for what it was worth and eventually got Ranma involved too, though Doc still annoying cagy about any serious teaching commitment), Ranma placed her palms over Shampoo wrist and under her arm, and in a manner that was more redirecting the momentum than applying any new one, dislodged the amazon's right shoulder out of its socket. I could hear the 'pop' from where I stood, followed shortly after by Shampoo's weapon crashing and sinking into the ground.

"AGRH!"

A cry composed of an ugly mixture of anger, frustration, and pain erupted two seconds later. An unforgivable amount of time when facing Saotome Fucking Ranma. My genius friend easily kept up with the amazon as she tried to retreat.

Another pop, another shout, another limp arm. I closed my eyes, I didn't need to see the rest, I could picture the moves that produced the next set of 'pops'. When I open my eyes again I caught Shampoo tumbling to the ground with all her limbs dislocated and out of place and Ranma standing over her, ready in case she tried anything, which was valid; martial artists are just the kind of crazy fuckers that might be able to do something even with all their limbs out of alignment.

I let out a long breath. It was over.

"Wow." Haruka followed my example, a long mist exiting her pinkish lips. "That was, uh, that was pretty brutal… I'm assuming that was part of the plan. So next part?"

"Next part."

I could feel her look boring into the side of my head. "Will you stop being vague?"

"Hardest part." I faced her. "… I'mma try to reason with her."

Because that's how I roll, apparently. Bludgeoning people with my baseball bat of healthy communication until they expel all their anime silliness.

Easier said than done, however. This is Shampoo we are talking about, she might not be as crazy as Kodachi, but her morals are whack as hell.

Ranma took a step to the side when I came over, letting me stand before the fallen amazon. As usual with anything involving physical skills, her work was near perfect, Shampoo's limbs have been dislocated so cleanly that they probably wouldn't even hurt, that is, if the amazon stayed still rather than shaking in barely contained rage and growing at us like a cornered tiger. Her crimson eyes glare daggers at Ranma but shifted towards me once I lowered myself to her level.

Another second to think had me sitting on the ground instead, there isn't much that I could do to not appear like I was looming over the purplerette, but I imagine squatting near her head and looking down on her like a gopnik supervillain wouldn't help. Sitting down on my ass with my legs crossed was as neutral as I was going to get.

"Hi there," I said and she stiffened in surprise. Probably the first Chinese she'd heard since coming to Japan.

I could feel the stunned looks from Haruka and Ranma. That's right bitches, this delinquent boss is multilingual.

Various language manuals that I absorbed, don't fail me now!

"My name is Ōe Hiroshi, I apologize for the rough treatment but—"

"NǏ JÌNG GǍN CHÁONÒNG WǑ DE MǓYǓ!" She roared these words out, her body shaking even harder.

Allllright, let's try again.

"Can you please speak slower? I'm not good with the language yet so I don't understand…"

Oh boy, she only seems to be getting angrier and angrier. You know that thing people do when they trying to get their breathing under control, but they're too agitated for it to work so it just made them look like an animal in a cage? Yeah, Shampoo was breathing like that, letting out long and hard misty breaths against the gravel like the stream of an overworked boiler, combined with the luminous red eyes poking out from the messy purple-blue bangs and she looked pretty intimidating.

I cleared my throat once it was clear she was content to glare silently. "Ok, look, I'm Ranma's friend, and I'd like to talk to you about—"

"Be silent!" The amazon growled. "You speak like a slow-minded infant, it's gravely insulting!"

I understood her this time around!

… Um oh, yeah, this is bad, even with these short sentences I can already hear several things I was doing wrong.

"My apologies," I said trying to match the intonations she used. "I learned to speak Chinese using manuals and had no one to practice with, I did my best but there was only so much I could do with what I had." Reading about how words are spoken can only take you so far, and it's not like I had the internet for some easy examples.

Shampoo let out an almost animalesque whine and her body shook again. I think that was her settling down a bit, a bit.

"As I was saying, I'm Ranma's friend and I know what happened between you two. I'd like to see if we can reach a compromise."

"Diédiébùxiū zhāzǐ!" She barked, but before I could make sense of what that meant she spoke more slowly. "I don't understand half of the things you speak, you morose fool!"

That got a sigh out of me because yeah, it was pretty bad even from a sonorous standpoint.

I see now that what I was doing isn't so much as speaking the language but improvising the best I could using the information from the books I 'ate'. It was like a non-English speaker trying to talk to an American with an English dictionary on hand, only I could do the pauses where they search for the words and meanings in my head. It's quicker, but it's far from being good.

Right, changing tactics, keep things short and concise, cut the useless rabble.

"I'm Ranma's friend. I want to try a compromise."

The amazon scoffed, she shifted around a bit but there was only so much she could do to get comfortable with her limbs in their current state. For the first time, a sign of the pain she was in crossed her features, but only for a second.

"Tell her to kill me. Spare me from this humiliation!" She spat.

"I want to try to find a way where no one dies." That earned me another scoff.

"Naïve."

This is good, she's willing to engage with me, just gotcha keep her talking.

"Is there any way to revoke the Kiss of Death?" I cut right to the point.

"No."

"A—" The response was so quick that it made me stumble. "No exceptions at all!?"

"I will kill her, or I will die trying. That is all." She sounded insulted by my insistence.

"You never won against her. She's stronger than you."

She growled, shifting her body once again. "Irrelevant!"

Fucking stubborn sexy amazon. "What if—"

"Why do you KEEP INSULTING ME!?"

The sudden outburst was so unexpected that made me flinch back. Ranma responded to the heightened aggression by stepping forwards into a stance, I even hear Haruka doing something behind me.

"Oi, Hiroshi!" Ranma warned.

"I got it."

Took me a few seconds to work out Shampoo's words.

"Is this about me mimicking the way you speak? It wasn't my intention to insult, I never had anyone to speak Chinese with, you're the only example I have on how to pronounce the words properly. I apologize for that."

"… Still too hard to understand." Shampoo grumbled, "You are like a child."

"In speaking Chinese?" I nodded. "I guess I am."

The amazon seems to consider that, at least. And I could see some of her overwhelming anger finally starting to simmer down a bit. Hard to stay mad when someone's making a genuine attempt to have a civil conversation with you.

Oh, if it was Ranma in my position things would be a whole lot different, but me? I didn't have any beef with her, at least for now.

Hopefully, I'll manage to keep things this way.

"Ranma wronged your tribe, didn't she? What if she did something for it of equal value, make reparations."

"… The amazons of Joketsuzoku are the strongest women in the world. This is the one truth above all others, the one truth that must be maintained no matter the cost." Shampoo muttered against the ground. For the first time, I noticed something slightly alarming; the way she was shifting her body, the little flinches along her legs and the curls of her fingers… she was testing what she could move in this state. "A foreigner warrior woman challenging that is like an affront against heaven itself. They must be punished, their crime corrected. A true amazon must eliminate any who dares stand on top of her. It is our duty. My duty."

"She's not goin' to stay down much longer," Ranma told me.

"Yeah, but she won't be able to fight at her best if that happens." I rebuked.

Though I was a bit concerned about the possibility of a 'surprise' technique, a plan B, or even, god help us, an 'Last Stand/Suicidal' Technique. As far as I remember she didn't have anything like that in the anime. But this isn't exactly the anime.

I bit my lips. "Is there really no alternative?" I asked, and received no answer, she just kept focusing on cataloging her available movements, not even caring that it could see it. Yeah, she definitely had something up her sleeve.

What are my options here? How can I talk down a stupidly suborn amazon girl raised on a warrior culture ruled by ancient rules and traditions?... When I put it like that it sounds quite the ordeal…

Maybe retreat and make a more concrete plan for later? Do as I said and leave her to the police? I guess I don't have to achieve something today. But… leaving without making some kind of progress feels cheap, especially after that whole duel… and the more I think about it, I don't like the idea of leaving Shampoo alone to start a harassment campaign against Ranma like she did in China, not while I could do something about it.

"We're gonna be fighting her again soon, right?" Now even Haruka was noticing it.

"Aye. Few minutes or so." I heard Ranma replying.

"Figures." Haruka stepped a bit close to me and brushed her hands against my shoulder, while she carried her Shinai with the other. "Hey, sempai, what are even you trying to do, anyway?"

"Trying to…" I began to speak, then I paused.

What am I trying to do?

Reason with her, that was my first instinct. Getting her to stop trying to kill Ranma was the main objective. There are multiple ways to do this, all carry giant butterflies. Killing her gets me the eternal enmity of her whole tribe and her scary grandmother. Setting things up so I could become her fiancé would get me unwanted attention and deny my friend of some serious power-ups he could definitely use considering the world we are living in. The next option… was technically a gamble more than anything, manipulation of the amazon rules that only fit Ranma's… but it was the one my thoughts were usually drawn to when considering the subject.

… In the end, I had already chosen the way I wanted to try to solve this.

"Men," I said in Chinese, then realized how dumb and random that sounded and quickly added. "I mean- You said 'warrior women' what about 'warrior men' does it have the same rule?"

Shampoo's breath hitched and her efforts stopped. She laid still for a few moments, sending me a very calculating look. Before slowly turning her head to look at Ranma… Getting a lot of the anger that has been fizzling out back in the process.

"She is a woman." She barked, her glare fixed on Ranma's very prominent chest, to the martial artist's confusion.

"Humor me, please. Do the same rules apply to men?"

There was a long beat of silence after that.

"… No. It does not." Shampoo eventually answered. She did so in a matter that made it clear she would not be elaborating on that. Which was understandable considering her current circumstances.

Not ideal, definitely not, but I can work with this.

"Ok," I said, standing back up before sending a thankful nod to Haruka and turning to the shortstack. "You're not going to like this."

She narrowed her blue eyes. "Shoot."

"I want to reveal your male form to her."

Ouch was the only thing I could say. Ranma's following exclamation had rattled any nearby ears.

The good news is Shampoo halted whatever she was doing and focused on trying to figure out what was happening. Wasn't every day your hated enemy go from zealously looming over you, preparing for your next tricks to comically stumbling back from her group.

Ranma didn't anime face-plant on the ground, at least. That'd be a bit much.

"No! No way! Absolutely not! That's not happenin'!" Ranma threw her arms along with her denials.

"According to her, the Kiss of Death is only applied to outside women who win against an amazon. You're not a woman, so the rule might be invalid in your case. Might… That's the only way out I found, the only way I think you can get her to stop." I explained patiently.

Ranma looked at me helplessly. "You don't get it Hiroshi, my male form- my true form, it's the only way I can get a break from her madness, the only way I can escape. Otherwise, it's just attack after attack, trick after trick with no end! If she sees it…"

Yeah, fuck, it's easy to forget they have a history of her relentless trying to kill him. In the anime that could be brushed off but in real life…

However.

"… This is honestly the only loophole I managed to find from the Kiss of Death, Ranma. It's one of those ancient, traditional laws that are annoyingly rigid and unbending. Code of Hammurabi stuff. Either is or is not, with no nuance or in-between… However, your case is so special that it goes in direct conflict with the word of the law so she might call the thing off, or leave to consult some amazon specialist, or… or something. There's also most likely another law regarding men defeating amazons but she just told me it's different before clamping down, but, technically, you do not fit in it given that you never won against her as a man. So…"

Yeah, that's basically my plan. I'm trying to bamboozle the ancient amazon law with a pile of technicalities. I don't think it would have worked with someone like Cologne was here, but with Shampoo I'm hoping to at least make her rethink things.

It is still a massive gamble, like, a lot of things could happen. This is different from the original scenario as, like I said; Ranma never won against Shampoo as a man, so I don't really know how Shampoo could react; she might do a one-eighty like in the anime, she might ignore it and continue trying to kill Ranma anyway, she might retreat, or cancel the whole thing… too much could happen.

But this is my honest answer regarding the whole Shampoo situation and how Ranma could attempt to solve it while keeping what he really wants in mind.

And regardless of what happens, I will be here to help him deal with the fallout, no matter what.

I took a breath. "But in the end, I can't make a call on that matter, not on this. If you want to reveal it to her or not, it's up to you." I confess that the thought of just throwing hot water on her without warning has crossed my mind, but it would be a massive dick move, even if it was a good comedy setup.

… Conflict, thy name is Ranma.

I could see her fuzzing around in a way she never would if she was in her true form, at least not this openly. Made me feel a bit shitty for just dropping this on her. Maybe I should have gone with the surprised hot water after all.

This was Saotome Ranma, however, she wasn't the kind of guy that would stay indecisive for very long.

… Saved for engagement matters, of course.

"Right, right, so, the only way?" I nodded. "Fuck, alright, let's do it!"

The English curse made me grin, I'm almost proud.

With a gesture, two glasses of water fell from the inventory and into my grip, but rather than throwing them on Ranma right away, I lowered down to Shampoo level once again, showing her the glasses.

"… Ok, Shampoo, there is something you should know." I began slowly, using her name for the first time to get her to focus on me. "Ranma is not a woman. He is a man who fell into the Niángnìquám while training in Jusenkyo. See this." I presented the glasses before she could protest, letting a bit of their water drop on her hands. "Hot and cold water, right? Observe."

I stood back up, keeping the glasses of water visible and clearly showing which is hot and which is cold. Ranma was already at my side with an arm raised.

I let the hot water hit her arm.

As always, the change took less than a second and was supremely interesting to watch, limbs stretched and bulked up, musculature and skeletal structure grew and changed, hair shifted from red to black, one neat thing that happened this time around is that the changes started from the arm and spread to the rest of the body, it so quick it barely make a difference and it wasn't really noticeable unless you played really close attention to the process, but I made a mental note about it anyway.

"Hot water, bring out the original shape." I pointed to the now male Ranma, making sure the amazon was watching. Then, I shifted glasses and dropped cold water on the same spot.

Same changes, at the same speed, originated from the same place, only in reverse. Muscles slimmed down, black turned to red, chest ballooned out in an always-distracting manner.

"Cold water, actives the curse, changes people into their cursed shape." I pointed to female Ranma and all her meter-and-a-half glory. "As you can see, he's not a woman. You have not been defeated by a woman; the Kiss of Death is invalid." I confess I added that last in a blatant attempt to sway her thought process.

Then I used the last of the hot water to turn Ranma into a guy again. It's a bit of a shame not having a beautiful redhead to admire anymore, but I knew he'd appreciate it.

The now male martial artist waved at the wide-eyed amazon with his wet arm. "Hello, my name is Saotome Ranma." He spoke in a Chinese that was broken even by my standards.

And that was that; simple, concise, no drama or bullshit, just a quick info dump, like ripping off a bandaid.

I finally focused on Shampoo to see her reaction, annnd it's like I was expecting; eyes wide as plates, mouth sagging open, body frozen in place. I waited for the inevitable explosion.

And waited.

And waited a bit more.

… Oh.

"Ok." Haruka let out a long breath turning from the frozen Shampoo to look at us. "Can one of you please explain to me what's going on there?"

Right, Haruka has been a champ following our lead and trusting us until now, but even her have limits.

"So, um, to summarize; that's the crazy china chick from Ranma's tale, I'm sure you realized. She was trying to kill him due to an ancient law that said she must kill any woman that defeats her. But Ranma isn't a woman so—"

"So you point out the misunderstanding." My kohai finished for me. She looked back at the… worryingly still amazon. "Now what?"

"Ummm."

has stopped working, I guess.

"I'm… not sure?"

"Phewww!"

At the loud exhalation of breath, we both snapped our heads to face Ranma.

He was relaxed, grinning even.

"It worked!" He beamed.

"What?"

"She doesn't want to fight anymore! First time that happens!"

What? How the fuck he knows that? I looked at the frozen amazon, trying to see what he saw… Nothing, she still the same she was just a second a…go… Wait, no… she didn't look as dangerous anymore.

The fuck!? Why!? Did-Did I just felt her battle spirit or something? Or the lack of it?

Wait, does that means we broke her spirit?— And now Ranma is stepping over her prone form!

"The heck you doing you crazy fuck!?"

"What? I'm putting her limbs back in place." As if to reiterate his point he bend over her and did just that to her shoulder.

"Wasn't she trying to kill you a second ago?" Yes Haruka, join me as the voice of reason, we will conquer the world!

"Aren't you the one freaking out about her trying to kill you a second ago?" I added my own contribution to the world-conquering plot.

"Well, she ain't trying now." Ranma, the fool, rolled his eyes at our sensible questions and fixed Shampoo's other shoulder, it's a bit concerning that not even the pain was getting her to react. "Besides, I don't want her pissed at me once she comes to herself."

But— Alright, that's fair—

—What happened next didn't have anything to do with the conscious part of my mind.

It was from a deeper, more primal part, the place where the lizard brain and all those genetic instincts accumulated by generations were located. In one moment, I was looking exasperatedly at my friends fixing the girl that had wanted him dead and possibly still does, next, I was with Haruka over my shoulders dashing for the park's exit.

I retook control of my body before I jump to the first rooftop and swirled back, dropping Haruka beside me.

There was absolutely nothing on the place we once stood, just a displacement of air that hit me a moment later like a shockwave. So— Above!

I looked up just in time to see Ranma crashing against it.

"Sempai! Wha—"

"Enemy. Very Strong. Get away from here!"

With that, I took off running to the action. My eyes scanned the park for situational awareness. Shampoo was in the opposite corner, Ranma must have done the same I did for Haruka to her. Her limbs also seem to be back in their proper place as she was crouching in a three-point stance, the sudden enemy attack must have snapped her out of her stupor.

I dismissed her after the moments-analysis, directing my attention to the battle… above…

Something… weird happen as I watched, something unsettling, something wonderful. A swirling in my chest I couldn't explain. Best comparison I could make was seeing Ranma fighting that Satori all those weeks ago. Seeing impossible martial arts made manifest for the first time

Ranma and the figure were trading blows mid-air as if gravity had no hold over them. A fast-paced dance of graceful brutality that was absolutely mesmerizing. They're the same, the two of them, I don't know why this thought came to me because they clearly aren't; Ranma, despite not fucking around, was moving in the familiar manner of the Anything Goes style, while his opponent moved in a different one… Yet my mind kept equating them, blending them together and— And in a blink of an eye, they were two birds flying beautifully across an infinite blue sky.

A loud crash brought me back to reality, and I saw Ranma slamming into the park's ground like a fucking meteor.

Ranma lost the engagement, Ranma lost the aerial engagement!

I didn't think, just brought my bat up and shot three Mana bolts from the tip. The first one struck true and caused an explosion punctuated by a satisfying cry of surprise, the other two cut through the smoke without a target.

I swung my bat towards the purple blur that bounced in the distance and was suddenly on my face.

My midsection exploded in white pain while my body was forcibly ejected by the impact, entering in a tube of air that saw me rolling around and crashing against everything in my path. It took me a second to reorient myself within the rolling world, and I dug my foot into what I now see was the asphalt of the adjacent street in an effort to slip to a stop. I finally managed only when my back crashed against a car, setting off its alarm.

Dear lord, it feels like my stomach has fused with my spine!

Push away the pain, Hiroshi. it is an illusion for little bitches. Ranma needs me.

I grunted as I lunged forwards and dashed my way back to the park. A red and a purple blur were flashing all over the place, loudly displacing air in a volley of shockwave-like blows. I could barely follow them with my eyes, so I forced my Battle Eyes skill until they become visible. After that, two Banishing bolts from my feet gave me the acceleration I needed.

"HORA!"

I brought down my baseball bat in a strike that was blocked with one arm even as a crater formed underneath. For the first time I had a glimpse of the attacker. Purple bodysuit, long golden hair, sky blue eyes that burned with pure murder. That was around the time my mana snapped to my bat, making it sprout whirling blades directly against the attacker's skin.

The stupidly strong girl let out a screech of pain and stepped back before simply vanishing. I had enough time to open my inventory in front of me before pain flared in my chest and I was thrown back once again. This time with a trail of fire sprites appearing in my wake.

I smirked as my body flailed around like a ragdoll. Wishing I could make a show of dramatically snapping my fingers. But I suppose a mental command and a flex of mana would have to do.

A series of massive explosions shook the park, raising a virtual wall of flames like some crazy American just carpet-bombed the place. I was more prepared for the pain this time around, so I was back in the fight with no time.
No idea if my fire trick hit her, but Ranma was keeping her occupied once again. Under the rash light and shadows of the flickering wall of flames, I got into the fray, shooting Mana bolts and her feet and the ground she was crossing in the usual disrupting tactics. But these wouldn't work this time around, not when she had already proven she could overwhelm Ranma. So, I used them to get close.

Thank God we planned for something like this, times where we'd end up facing a superior opponent. Sure, Ranma made the usual cocky remarks and bragged about it, but after the dream spider kid and the frog demon, he had actually sat down and paid attention.

Synchronized strikes, coming from different directions, force their focus to shift between us, make openings so the other could take advantage of, never stop moving. The strategies changed as the fight progressed, naturally turning into something that worked.

In a turnabout from how we usually do things, Ranma was the shield; the one running interference, parrying, blocking, intercepting her attacks in an insane manner that almost seems to form a bubble of air around him, and more importantly, working hard to protect me and give me opportunities. Sure, I could barely keep up, but my attacks, the ones coated by magic and mana, cut through purple girl's defenses in a way Ranma's simply didn't. Long incantations and proper spells were out of the question, so I had to make do with my chainsaw bat and smart use of sprites and Mana bolts.

It wasn't a perfect strategy, and by that, I mean we took a shit ton of hits, but it was working, we were pressing her- all the seconds this fight has been going on were like a relentless firework shown at ground level, but we are making progress.

And, of course, this won't last because the girl only needed six seconds to learn our patterns and change her moveset to counteract us. This needs to end fast. If the fight continues, we will lose.

Then, as definitive proof this crazy world is run by fucking narrative logic, the spiraling curtain of fire that had formed around us parted to show my reckless, stupid, goddamn incredible kohai.

"HAH!" She cried out, thrusting her shinai right at the bitch's neck.

Even with my limited knowledge of swordsmanship, I could see this was a picture-perfect disabling strike, fatal to anyone without the insane sturdiness of martial artists even. The form, the momentum, the place where it hit, it should have knocked the consciousness of anyone, ending the fight right there.

Should have.

The Blade compressed, its bindings tearing, bamboo strips expanding in a bird cage-like shape before finally snapping.

She simply didn't have enough strength for it.

The purple girl's whole body swirled like a localized tornado. Lashing out with a reflexive counter- one that Haruka couldn't handle- Haruka's going to die

Kill her.

Fire and Earth sprites rotated into the surface of my bat, forming a coat of burning magma before I swung upwards in a move so fast and abrupt that it snapped my musculature in several places. At the same time, cold and hot air coalesced into an almost physical mass above us and began to descend in the shape of a giant guillotine blade in conjunction with Ranma's ax kick— And the girl suddenly grew eight hundred eighty-eight arms—

I was picked up and thrown away.

… Just like that.

It was confusing for me too.

Something, someone, has gently plucked me from where I was and threw me across the area like I was a plastic toy or something.

A great woosh came over the place as mine and Ranma's attacks crashed violently before fusing together into an enormous firestorm and rising towards the sky. It was like it took all the oxygen, no, all the air with it, and for several moments afterward there was only silence in the now darkened park before it all fell back as a giant explosion boomed above us, turning the night into day for a second and taking out the windows of the nearby buildings.

I had to blink a few times to… well, make sense of it all.

I had fallen on my ass in a manner that did not hurt me for some reason. The park was dark due to, well, all the fires being put out, but thankfully some of the lamp posts were starting to light up again. There were a whole lot of car alarms ringing in the distance and… a lot of distressed cries. Right, might have scared a lot of people. Shit.

Next thing I realized was how depleted I was. I put a lot more than I meant to in that last attack.

… Oh, and my body was positively screaming in pain, but that was nothing new.

"My, my, the youth nowadays sure is scary, isn't it?"

I blinked at the man standing where we once were, right at the center of the now devastated park. He was slightly above average in height with a slender build that looked almost lanky in his white and black kimono-hakama combo. His messy black hair framed a handsome face, but his most distinct features drew most of the attention, that being a long, well-groomed mustache, freaking lightning-bolt shaped eyebrows…
And dull, almost colorless blind eyes.

Kōetsuji Akisame
Ryōzanpaku's Grandmaster
The Philosophical Jujutsu Grandmaster
The Medic Demon
The Gentlest Fist
Gentleman Adventurer
Knight of The Round Table – Galahad
Level: ?

O..Kay.

Another stupidly strong person appears. If he's hostile we're fucked.

"K-Kōetsuji-san." The unfamiliar female voice sent me jumping back up to my feet. My opponent was still standing, so I'd be damn I would do the same!

At the distance, I catch Ranma doing the same… and Haruka was close to him, thank god she's alright.

"Kōetsuji-san, they… these monsters… They're… Ragnarok… Kenichi-kun…"

I could see the girl rising to her feet, and I could see the marks the fight has left on her. Her previous bodysuit was now a small collection of scorched patches that barely covered her modesty, so much so that she had to pass an arm over her breasts to keep them from showing. In her exposed state, I could see every bruise, every bleeding cut, and every burn we managed to leave on her. And I couldn't help but scowl as I realized how superficial it all was compared to my half-pulverized state.

I also couldn't help but notice that— god fucking damnit the girl was HOT! Like, Taimanin hot, like, if you tell me she was an apprentice taimanin I would totally believe you. Heck, with curves like that I could see her growing up to match Rin.

The grandmaster guy appears to study the girl for a few moments, then he spoke gently.

"Kenichi-kun is out of danger, Mio. He will be alright."

Fūrinji Miu
Heiress of the Fūrinji Style
Ryōzanpaku's Princess
Level: 65

She's also stupidly strong, no surprise here, also; first example of someone around my age with two titles. Besides me, I guess.

Now… there is something wonderful about getting out of 'fighting mode' so to speak, right before the adrenaline crash makes you miserable. It's a kind of relaxation that comes from the ceasing of action, one that was not so deep as to slow you down if the action restarted, but it was deep enough that the overabundance of tension starts to fall away. It also helps you notice things, things you've been ignoring in favor of more important, fight-for-survival-related details.

Like their appearances.

Their names.

Their titles.

The content of their conversation.

It all dawned on me and— HOLY FUCK! These guys are from Kenichi Strongest Disciple!

Also, ah fuck, these guys are from Kenichi Strongest Disciple!

I'm not familiar with the series, I watched the anime an eternity ago and unlike Ranma ½, I didn't like it enough to rewatch it. I only read bits and pieces of the manga, and the most precise information about the later plot of the series came from fanfics.

Fucking hell, we've been fighting the main girl! Miu, I remember her name! Wait was she supposed to be this strong?

I was dragged from my thoughts by the sight of Miu falling to her knees. The soot-covered, bleeding, practically-naked girl curled over herself, her sobs resonating through the night.

Umm, ok, that… That's something. There's definitely something going on.

And Ragnarok is involved, if Miu's previous words were anything to go by.

"… There's been a tremendous misunderstanding tonight." The man- One of the main character's masters! Spoke out loud. Addressing each of us. He seems to be scanning and categorizing each of the injuries he could see, going from Ranma, to Haruka, even to Shampoo, still at the distance. Then, his eyes fixed on me.

Two things happened

First; I was reminded that he was blind, but I doubt that slowed him down in any meaningful way.

Second… I do not know this man, I read about him in a manga more than a decade ago, but in this life… I also never met him, there was no rush of memories caused by seeing his form or hearing his name.

Yet… he recognized me; I was sure of it.

"… My name is Kōetsuji Akisame, I'm a doctor. As a gesture of goodwill, please allow me to treat your injuries." He gave me a smile, then turned around to show the rest. "After that, please allow me to treat you to dinner. I believe we should have a talk."

New Quest: Dinner With The Strongests
Go have a nice dinner with the Strongests under the mountain! And maybe figure out what the fudge is going on!
Rewards:

5.000 exp.

Increases closeness with the Ryōzanpaku dojo

Increases closeness with Fūrinji Miu

Increases closeness with Kōetsuji Akisame

?

?

?

?

Failure:

None

Accept/Refuse.

What the fuck—Now you give me a quest!? NOW!? After all the bullshit that happened today!?

Fucking inconsistent Gamer System.


A/Note: Kōetsuji isn't blind, but he looks like he is with eyes like that, so Hiroshi thought so.

A/Note2: The Shampoo conundrum turns out to be harder to deal with than I imagine, she brings a lot of benefits, but a lot of negatives, and the original plan that I had simply didn't fit Hiroshi's character anymore that ended up causing rewrite after rewrite. This was the end result, and while I not completely satisfied with it, I hope it comes out sincere and true to the characters, which is my main objective. (It's also not over, but the ball start rolling so it should be easier to manage it now)

Moving on, we finally get to Kenichi! I know some of you were waiting for this, I hope I did the introduction justice. And yes in the two weeks Hiroshi was training, dealing with internal affairs, and consolidating his gang, the Butterflies dragged Kenichi's ragnarok arc to the back of a Wendy's and shot it in the head, things are officially off the rails.