Title:
Pretending
Fandom: CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation
Characters: Greg Sanders/Sara Sidle, hint of
Gil Grissom/Sara Sidle
Prompt: #48. Light
Word Count:
794
Rating: PG-13 for one curse.
Summary: For
some reason, he stopped midway. Something was off here.
Author's
Note: You know, I think that I'm almost incapable of writing
HAPPY Greg/Sara. I vow to do it at least once... Hopefully. At least
now you know that this fic is angsty and sad. ;; It's pretty
much the prequel for Leaving
It All Behind
but one doesn't need to read the other in order to get a view of
each other. (And I'm definitely not sure if that sentence even made
sense.)
It had been taped to the door of his locker and said in not so many words to go up to the rooftop before shift started. Rarely was Greg ever up on the rooftop unless it was for the sunrise, so it was a big twist when Sara asked him to go for sunset. He supposed, as he walked up the stairs, that maybe she wanted to start a new tradition. Beginning with sunset and ending the day with sunrise. It seemed logical to him and since he lived with logic, he wanted to believe it much more. That's why he ignored the feeling of dread that had settled in his stomach for the past couple of days.
Opening the door, he found the sky still mildly bright. The sun hadn't set just yet and the reds of the day were still showing in the horizon. Standing near the edge with her back to him was Sara. Smiling to himself, he started his walk towards her.
For some reason, he stopped midway. Something was off here. Sara seemed tense from her position. Her arms were wrapped around her and Greg could see the pressure her hands were making from clinging so hard. Staring, the feeling of dread came right back up and he didn't know if he could ignore it anymore.
Thinking quickly, he wondered if he could perhaps turn around now and walk away. He did not want to hear what she might or would say. He already had a feeling that he knew. Becoming a CSI was definitely something that opened his eyes, and seeing his boss and his girlfriend interact was definitely eye-widening.
Before he could even turn around, she turned first. This time, it didn't take a genius to figure out that this was definitely not going to be a good meeting. Greg looked at Sara, REALLY looked at her, and his heart broke in half. Her face just emulated with sadness and despite what he knew of her, she seemed to have faint hints of tears on her cheeks.
"Oh, fuck," he muttered to himself. He could feel a strong desire to hug her and when his arms went out to reach her, the distance between them was blatantly obvious. He dropped them quickly and just looked at her, begging her not to do what she would do.
Sara took in a breath before shakily saying, "We can't do this anymore, Greg."
Holding back his emotions, he managed to say, "Do what?" without breaking down in tears. He wasn't about to show how much he hurt. To give her anymore than she already had of him.
"We're pretending!" she screamed at him, almost breaking there and then. Greg flinched at the tone of her voice, and was amazed that she seemed so angry at him. He refused to say anything at this point. He wanted her to lay out her cards. It was almost as though she read his mind, because she soon continued her thought. "We're pretending to be happy. We're pretending that we're this great couple. We're not. We're not anymore," she ended, much softer than when she began.
Greg felt his heart pounding heavily in his chest, and briefly wondered if she could hear it. If she could hear just what she was doing to him. They hadn't been pretending to him. He had genuinely believed that they'd been happy together. He thought there had been a little awkwardness lately, but other than that... there had been no problems. Wasn't that how it was?
He strode towards her slowly, pain likely showed in his face and all she did was watch him. She didn't move. She barely took a breath. When he was finally within reach, he lifted his arm to touch her. Whether to hug her or just to feel her, he didn't know. She flinched though and that was all it took for Greg to know that he wasn't wanted.
Lowering his head, he refused to look at her. They stood there in silence, Greg looking down and Sara looking who knew where. It had to have been tens of minutes later before he finally said something. "Fine," he said. His voice wasn't cold. It wasn't harsh. It was empty, just like he felt at the moment.
He didn't know how long after that did Sara start to move. All he knew was that when he finally felt ready to leave, she wasn't there anymore. He looked up into the sky and bleakly noted that the sun had finally set for the day.
With a snort, he faintly thought of that's just how he felt. The light had definitely left.
Before he left the rooftop, he briefly reflected that at least she hadn't done it during sunrise. At least one thing was still safe.
