All characters that are from the TWILIGHT saga by Stephanie Meyer belong to Stephanie Meyer. All others belong to me. I do not receive profit for these stories except for the joyous enjoyment of reviews.
This story follows right after When I'm Gone: Third Installment to GONE Saga, so if you haven't read that one or the two before, please do.
The timeline of the story will coincide with Gabriel Michael Laskaris' growing up years, starting at Seth and Rosa's wedding day, April 12th and will progress from there.
AN: This was the hardest chapter I've had to write in a long time...I even cried while doing so. Despite the struggle, there are times when I cannot change what happens in my characters' lives, I can only share.
Hope to hear from y'all and look forward to reading the reviews.
Chapter Seventy (15 yrs old)
There were three hundred and sixty five days in a year, three hundred and sixty six on a leap year. The Western Hemisphere had an average of two hundred and five sunny days a year with Forks claiming a hundred and thirty one of those days.
It just didn't seem right for early April to be boasting a sunny day, especially with the way she was feeling. The sun shining outside her classroom window a mockery for the bleakness blanketing her –it should be raining.
"Emerie."
Blinking, she turned to look to the front of the classroom, the muffled sniggering from her classmates letting her know it hadn't been the first time her father had called out her name.
"Yes, Dad?"
The sniggering got a bit louder, Emmie closing her eyes as she let out a breath before looking at her father again, "I'm sorry. Mr. Laskaris."
He nodded, giving her an understanding look as he repeated his question without making a big deal of it, "Can you please tell the classroom when and why the Soviet Union ceased to exist?"
She stared at her father for a few seconds, able to see several of her classmates looking her way, as if to see if she perhaps didn't know the answer, but of course, that wasn't so. She was just taking the time to gather the necessary facts needed to answer the question.
"The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics ceased to exist on December 26th, 1991 when Kazakhstan became the last republic to sign the European Energy Charter as a declaration for independence. The reasons behind the dissolution of the Soviet Union were many, among them political unrest and economic instability."
He gave her a nod of encouragement to continue, Emmie keeping her eyes on him as she did so, "Mikhail Gorbachev was elected General Secretary in 1985 but by 1991, after an attempt of a coup d'état by the Soviet military and the Communist Party of the Soviet Union, he became President but no longer had any power with the people in his hope to have a New Union Treaty signed for the purpose of converting the Soviet Union into a federation of independent republics with a common president, foreign policy and military.
"When the republics signed the Alma-Ata Protocol, which confirmed the dissolution of the Union and formally established the Commonwealth of Independent States, it was circulated among the other member states and when no objections were voiced, it was declared accepted on December 31st of that year."
Rick gave her a smile before turning to the whiteboard where he had written down dates, names and reasons as she spoke, "Thank you, Emerie. As you all can see, there was dissension throughout the Union, with republics seeking autonomy which would mean its own government, currency, political parties, military…"
Emmie stopped listening, letting her eyes drift to the view outside the window while her father continued his lecture, chewing on her bottom lip as she wondered how Embry was doing.
The class bell rang to end the hour, Emmie placing her notebook, World History text and pens into her backpack as everyone else gathered their own things, her father calling out over the noise, "Please have chapter fifteen read by tomorrow –there will be a quiz at the beginning of the class."
She was halfway across the room when she heard him calling her name, eyes closing as she let out a sigh before returning to stand beside his desk as he sat down, "Yes?"
"Emmie," Rick let out a sigh, reaching out and taking her hand to pull her closer to stand between his knees, "I know you're worried but your responsibility right now is to be a student. You still have one more class then track practice. Afterwards, I'll take you to the hospital, okay?"
She nodded, blinking back tears as her chin dropped to her chest, wishing she could find the words to explain how she was feeling right now –it was like something had a hard grip on her chest and wasn't letting go, "Has he called?"
"No," Rick shook his head, taking his cell phone from the drawer he kept it in during school hours, "I called him during lunch, as you well know since you were here. He'll call once his mother's out of surgery."
Emmie nodded as she took a deep breath, attempting to swallow past the lump in her throat with minimal success which left her voice a bit high, "I should go…I don't want to be late."
"Okay," Rick stood up, pulling her into his arms for a hug and a kiss on her forehead, before he walked her to the open door, "I'll see you at practice, okay?"
She nodded, giving him a quick smile then heading down the hallway towards the door leading outside, having to cross the courtyard to get to the gym where she had physical education for last period.
Even though she only had three minutes, she wasn't moving fast enough, her thoughts a Mobius strip of worry keeping her from thinking of anything other than Embry. Movement on her peripheral vision had her looking over her shoulder, stopping for a few seconds as she watched the public bus slowly making its way towards the bus stop across the street, taking all of five seconds before making a decision.
Grabbing a hold of the straps to her backpack, she took off at a run, her breathing falling into an easy rhythm as she sprinted across the street, getting to the bus stop just before it could pull away.
Knocking on the glass door to get the bus driver's attention, she stepped back for the doors to open before going up the stairs, taking her lunch money from the side pocket of her backpack –she hadn't been hungry –and giving it to the driver before moving down the alleyway and sitting by a window, setting her backpack at her side.
Forks Memorial Hospital
Embry let out a long breath, rubbing his hands over his face as he leaned forward to rest his forearms on his thighs, giving his watch a quick glance which frustrated him even more than he already was.
Hanging his head between his hunched up shoulders, he tried to calm his thoughts but it wasn't working –not when he had to call his sister to let her know what was going on without giving too much information…not when there wasn't anyone who could give him any new information concerning his mother's well-being.
A pair of well used running sneakers stepped into his view of the tiled floor, dark brown eyes moving up to stop at bright blue eyes accompanied by the most beautiful smile he'd ever seen –and just like that, the tight sensation in his chest uncoiled, letting him take a deep breath as he spoke, "Emmie…you're supposed to be in school."
She lifted a shoulder in a shrug, dropping her backpack on the tiled floor and pushing it under the chair beside him with her foot, "I only had one class left. I can't really fall behind on physical education, now can I?"
He shook his head as she moved to sit beside him, unclasping his hands so she could slip her smaller one into his, "Your dad is going to ground you."
"It's a risk I'm willing to take."
He gave her a grateful smile, soaking in the comfort her presence gave him as she placed her other hand over their joined ones, his own covering hers as she quietly asked, "What happened?"
He let out a heavy sigh, the events leading up to this moment still not computing in his mind, "You know how she went down to Louisiana to be with my sister?"
"Yes," Emmie nodded, freeing her thumb from under his big hand to rub against the side of his thumb, "She stayed a month but you only got to go down for the weekend after your nephew was born."
Embry nodded, using his thumb to trap hers in place, "I couldn't get more than the weekend off from work. Her plane got delayed so she called to let me know she would find a way to get home. I thought maybe she would take a taxi or something but she didn't get into Seattle until half past one in the morning and she found it easier to rent a car. Halfway through Forks she lost control…" he didn't like lying to her but he knew without being told Rick would prefer her not to know about the current situation, "The car flipped…slammed against some pine trees…"
Emmie squeezed his hand, leaning into his side as she rested her head on his shoulder, the clock on the wall of the emergency waiting room ticking as each second slipped by.
Embry swallowed past the lump in his throat as he rubbed his thumb over her knuckles, his voice husky and low as he spoke up again, "She has several broken ribs, a ruptured spleen, her left lung's punctured and she's got a broken collarbone as well as a broken nose. She coded twice when they brought her in…they had to do transfusions before taking her into surgery…"
Turning her head, she rested her chin on his shoulder, studying his profile while he kept his eyes on their hands, his chin practically resting on his chest, "It'll be okay…I'll be right here."
Embry's mouth lifted in a one sided smile, dark brown eyes bright as he turned to look at her, reaching across the space separating them to gently push her glasses up her nose with his index finger, "I know."
They sat in silence as minutes turned into a half hour, Emmie's cheek on his shoulder as she watched the going ons in the waiting room, Embry's cheek on the top of her head as he watched the clock.
The ringing of his cell phone had them both jerk apart in unexpected surprise, Embry withdrawing a hand from the pile that was their hands to dig his phone out of his jeans' pocket, seeing the name flashing across the screen, "It's your dad."
Emmie gave him a small smile as she widened her eyes, "I'm in trouble now."
Embry chuckled as he tapped the screen, bringing it up to his ear, "Hello."
Emmie straightened up, her back popping at having been in a slanted position for too long, her blue eyes on Embry's face as she listened to the one sided conversation.
"Yeah, she's right here. She took the bus…no, I'll go ahead and drop her off by dinner time, if that's okay," Embry gave her a teasing smile as he continued his conversation, "She's still in surgery...no one's come out to tell me what's going on. Okay –yeah, sure. Thanks."
Emmie bit her bottom lip as he held out the phone to her, "Your dad wants to talk to you."
Taking a deep breath, she took the phone from him and held it up to her ear, "Hi Daddy."
"You do know you're grounded, right?"
The Daddy card didn't work –she should have known, "I know."
"Good –make sure you call Lili and let her know your movie plans this weekend are not happening."
Emmie let out a soft sigh, not even putting up a fight because she had known defying her father would not go unpunished, "I will."
"Okay then. Embry's going to bring you home. Make sure you get your homework done because you and I are going to be having a long talk once you get home."
"Daddy," Emmie hated having to talk about her behavior with her father –it was never fun and it always left her feeling like she had let him down, "I've already agreed to being grounded this weekend –do we have to talk about it?"
"Agreed? You don't agree to the consequences, young lady. You deal with them, and as you well know, talking about what you did wrong and what is expected of you is part of those consequences. Also, you will be making up the class you skipped."
"It's just physical education," this time, Emmie had to argue; "There's no academic value to that class."
"Maybe so but there is an integrity value, as well as an issue of commitment and dedication, not to mention work ethic. I've already spoken to your teacher and he's willing to have you make up the class you ditched this Saturday –at six in the morning."
"Six in the morning!"
"Just let it go, Princess," Embry whispered as he gave her a smile, tapping a finger to her nose, "He's just going to keep piling it on if you keep arguing."
Emmie let out a long breath, making sure not to let her aggravation come out, "Okay, Daddy. I'll make up the class on Saturday at six in the morning and get my homework done before getting home so I can give you my undivided attention."
"Thank you. I'll be seeing you when you get home. S 'agapó̱, mo̱ró mou."
Emmie smiled as she responded, "S 'agapó̱, bampá."
Embry took his phone from her once she ended the call, sliding it back into his pocket, "Was it worth it?"
Emmie pushed her glasses up her nose, giving him a beautiful smile as she placed her hand over his, "To be here with you? Yes. It was."
Embry leaned in to press a kiss on her forehead, covering her hand with his, "Thank you."
Two Hours Later
Embry looked up at the sound of his name, not moving since Emmie had fallen asleep, her head on his shoulder, open textbook on her lap and a notebook close to slipping to the floor.
Giving her a gentle shake, he caught the notebook before it fell, placing it on the chair on his other side as the doctor who'd called out his name did so again just as Emmie sat up, blue eyes blinking in disorientation as she looked around. Embry stood up and caught the doctor's attention, "I'm Embry Call."
Emmie closed her textbook, looking around for her notebook, Embry tapping her hand then pointing to it without looking away from the doctor as he approached them.
"I'm Dr. Edinburgh," he held out his hand, giving Embry a firm shake before slipping it into the pocket of his white coat, "We've moved your mother into ICU where she'll be monitored around the clock."
"How is she?"
"The surgery went well," Dr. Edinburgh gave him an encouraging smile, his gray eyes momentarily moving to Emmie as she stood up and took Embry's hand, "We were able to repair her spleen and lung, as well as her nose and collarbone, which were minor injuries. However, there were other injuries not visible in the initial scans we had to contend with during the surgery, which are a little more worrisome."
Emmie squeezed Embry's hand, offering silent support as he asked in a slightly choked up voice, "What other injuries?"
"She had some brain swelling –we performed a craniotomy to relieve the pressure…there was also a laceration on her small intestine, which we repaired. Right now, the biggest concern is infection so we have her on a series of antibiotics as well as pain medication. We should be able to do an MRI scan of her brain within twenty-four hours to see the extent of her brain injury."
Embry nodded, stuffing his fist into his jeans' pocket while he worked hard at not crushing Emmie's smaller hand, reminding himself she was still a child and he should not be leaning on her so hard despite how willing she was to take on the burden of the situation, "Will she be alright?"
"In all honesty, Mr. Call," Dr. Edinburgh shifted his weight as he geared himself for the bad news that came along with the good, "Right now, our biggest concern is a possible infection due to the lacerated small intestine. We're doing everything possible to avoid septic shock."
"Septic?"
"Infection in the blood stream," Emmie whispered before the doctor could answer, not seeing the look of surprise on the other man's face because she kept her eyes on Embry.
"If she does become septic, what are her chances?"
Dr. Edinburgh cleared his throat as he turned his attention back to his patient's son, "If she doesn't respond to treatment…it could be a matter of hours."
April 6th
"Here are the pictures Tia Rosa took for you."
Nika grinned excitedly as she slid the legal sized envelope across the top of the round concrete table outside the ice cream shop, "Thank you!"
"She put in pictures from your past recitals," Vivi twirled the end of her fishtail braid, which was draped over her left shoulder, "She thought it would help show the progression of your talent."
Nika laughed as she flipped through the glossy pictures, careful to handle them by the edges, "That was sweet of her. Have you set up your portfolio yet?"
Vivi nodded, reaching up to tuck her side swept bangs behind her ear, the cool breeze feeling nice against her bare arms while the unusually bright sun warmed both of them, which was good because they were both wearing these cute little summer dress outfits courtesy of Lili. Nika's dress was an off the shoulder light blue with tiny pink flowers printed all over, the bodice styled like a corset with a pink ribbon crisscrossed down the front, the skirt an A-line cut ending about two inches above her knees. She wore pink ballet flats and had her shoulder length hair held away from her face by a pink headband.
Vivi, on the other hand, was wearing a soft brown dress with spaghetti straps and a sweetheart neckline, the skirt in undulating waves ending above her knees. The pink and light blue flowers were a dense print along the hem of the skirt, the pattern getting sporadic as it moved up towards the fitted bodice. She wore brown leather lace up ankle boots with a low squared heel, hair in a side fishtail braid tied off with a pink ribbon.
All in all, they were proof of Lili's wonderful fashion taste.
"I slipped my photos into sheet protectors and bought a black leather briefcase binder –I'll be including my recorded audition along with the application, reference letters and required essay."
Nika looked up from the pictures, her dark brown eyes twinkling, "I've got us someone who can record our dance auditions as well as edit them for us."
"Who?"
"Davy."
Vivi's look of surprise wasn't missed, Nika blushing as she further explained, "We've been hanging out some…turns out he likes doing videos and stuff, has tons of software just for that –he actually wants to be a videographer, record movies and stuff."
"Since when have you and Davy been hanging out," Vivi pushed loose hair strands from her face as the direction of the breeze changed, "I thought you and Bradley were dating."
"It turns out we weren't," Nika let out a deep breath as she tucked her hands under her thighs, her shoulders slumped forward, "We've just been…exclusive friends -so we broke up…kind of…for now…I don't know. Point is Bradley only likes me as a friend and I just…I just needed some distance."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I was…I was embarrassed 'cause I was so stupid with the whole him being my boyfriend and us dating and all that crap. I mean, for two years we…" Nika shrugged as she gave Vivi a crooked albeit slightly sad smile, "I didn't…I didn't know how to explain it."
"Oh Nika," Vivi gave her best friend a smile as she leaned forward, resting her arms over the smooth surface of the concrete table, "So are you and Davy dating or just hanging out?"
The blush on her cheeks made her look extra pretty, her chocolate brown eyes twinkling, "Oh, we're definitely dating –he took me to the movies then ice cream on our first date."
"Really?"
Nika nodded, a shy smile on her lips as she shared with her best friend, "He showed up to our date with a Twinkie."
Vivi laughed, her cheeks flushing pink while her gold-brown eyes glittered. She was feeling so much better, filled with an odd energy and strength she'd never felt before. It had only been a week since she'd been released from the hospital, the transfusion therapy Dr. Cullen had ordered doing wonders for her physically but for some strange reason she couldn't identify, it had caused a strain between her and Marc. As for Gabe –he had been so sweet, albeit a little hurt to find out she'd lied to him about being a hybrid.
Gabe had told her –more than once so she would get the point –he didn't care what she was because he was crazy about who she was. Made her promise to take care of herself, which meant feeding the part of herself she denied existed. She could see it in his eyes he was being sincere yet at the same time, she knew he struggled with the knowledge of part of her being his enemy.
She knew because he had assured her, emphatically, no matter what happened he would never ever hate her for being what she was.
"I told him one Twinkie wasn't going to make up for the many he stole from me," Nika's happy chatter broke into her thoughts, Vivi blinking as she forced her focus on her best friend's conversation, "So he's brought a Twinkie for the last three dates…I share it with him."
"So four dates total," Vivi's teasing voice had Nika blushing, her shoulders rising up to her ears as Vivi asked, "Has he kissed you?"
Biting her bottom lip, Nika dropped her eyes to the photos on the table, her cheeks a dusky color under the copper hue of her skin, "No…I just…he's kind of shy and I…I'm not sure yet if I like him enough to give him my first kiss."
"Well," Vivi straightened her back, dropping her hands down to her lap, re-crossing her ankles as she threw her shoulders back, "It's a very important decision who to give your first kiss to. There's no rush."
Nika let out a sigh, nibbling on her bottom lip before giving her best friend a smile in gratitude, "Yeah…so I found the perfect song for your audition piece –it's by Emilie Sande."
"Oh," Vivi gave an excited little jump, pointing at her in excitement, "Is it Read All About It?"
At Nika's exuberant nod, Vivi clapped in excitement, "I love that song! You have got to help me with the choreography!"
"Of course," Nika's eyes widened as she gave her a big grin, "It would be so awesome of something I choreograph gets you into Juilliard."
Vivi bit her lip, shifting in her seat as she un-crossed then re-crossed her ankles, "Well, I, um…I'm not sending in an application to Juilliard, after all."
"What," Nika stared at her in open mouthed shock, "What do you mean you're not applying to Juilliard?"
Before Vivi could answer, Nika spoke up again, a hint of anger in her voice, "This has to do with Gabriel, doesn't it? You're staying because he wants you to, aren't you?"
"No," Vivi answered with vehemence, not liking it whenever Nika said disparaging things about her boyfriend, "He has nothing to do with my decision not to go to New York. It's just…after what happened –"
"Seriously? That's why you're giving up on your dream?"
"I don't know anyone in New York," Vivi lifted her shoulders in a shrug as she tucked her hands between her slim thighs, along with the soft fabric of her dress's skirt, "If something like that were to happen again, I won't have any family or friends who'll help."
"Vivi," Nika leaned forward, dark eyes intense as she tugged at the straight neckline of her dress bodice to keep it in place, "You'll make friends –your fellow dances are going to be the ones to help with anything you need –they're going to be your family."
Vivi let out a soft sigh, dropping her eyes to the photos still spread out on the table top, her voice sounding a bit timid, "Pacific Northwest is a good dance school…and they have a really good dance company."
"I know. That's why I'm applying to go there," Nika reached up to move a swath of hair from the corner of her mouth where the breeze had blown it into, "But for you, Pacific is second best. You've always wanted to go to Juilliard –ever since I can remember, you've been talking about going there."
Vivi had known it would be hard to explain her decision to stay closer to home but she also knew Nika's reaction to her news was nothing compared to the way Tia Rosa and Tio Seth would react…
And she was not forgetting Marc, certain his reaction will eclipse everyone else's, which was why she wasn't planning on saying anything to him until everything was set in stone and there was no way to make any changes.
Despite all the negative reaction she was bound to get over her change of plans, Vivi was determined to put aside Juilliard so she could stay closer to her family –the events of last week had really scared her and the idea of it happening again made her stomach hurt.
Just as she was about to try to help Nika understand her point of view, a pair of large rough hands obscured her view of Nika's frown. Her own mouth tipped into a smile, which grew into a grin as she heard his familiar deep voice near her ear, "Guess who?"
Giggling, she reached up to touch the back of his hands, his skin warm against the cool pads of her fingertips, "Uhm…Johnny Depp?"
His chuckle had her giggling again as she leaned back into his broad chest, able to feel the vibrations of his voice as he kissed her temple, "Nope. Guess again."
"Uhm," Vivi bit her bottom lip as she moved her hands to his wrists, her fingers tripping over the wide leather band of the wristwatch she'd given him for Christmas, "George Clooney?"
His laughter caused a shiver to run down her back as he moved his mouth to place a kiss on her cheek, his minty fresh breath caressing her warm skin, "Wrong again. You got one more guess."
Vivi loved this game of theirs, always teasing him by saying other names –of course, she always made sure they were some celebrity and not any of the boys from school being Gabriel was a very jealous boyfriend –especially because he would kiss her mouth when she finally guessed correctly and after all the practice they've had for the past two years, he was very good at kissing, "Okay, then, let's see…how about…the best boyfriend ever?"
Nika rolled her eyes as Gabe dropped his hands, tilting Vivi's chin up to give her smiling mouth a kiss as he swung a leg over the bench seat to straddle it, his grin big and cocky and annoyingly arrogant as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into him, "That would be me."
Vivi laughed as she pulled out one of her arms from under his to place her hand on his forearm, gold brown eyes bright as she beamed at him, "Yes, it would."
He kissed her again, pulling her further into him until her shoulder butted up against his chest, his jean clad thigh pressed against her lower back as he let his hand rest low on her hip, the other one on top of the first. Looking at the table, he arched an eyebrow at the pictures scattered across the surface, "What's with the pictures?"
"Nika's working on the portfolio needed for her audition," Vivi gave her best friend a wide eyed look, which was correctly interpreted as not saying anything about Juilliard, "She's been working on her dance routine, which I think is great."
"When are you working on yours," Gabe asked, wondering why Nika was looking at him as if he'd kicked a puppy or something equally disturbing.
Vivi smiled as he turned his blue eyes towards her, her heart fluttering like a giant butterfly trapped in a cage, "We'll start working on the choreography next week –applications aren't due until November and live auditions start getting scheduled for February of next year."
"Fun," Gabe winked at her, watching as a pink color splashed over her cheekbones, somehow making the faint dusting of freckles over her nose stand out even more, "So do you two have plans for today?"
Vivi gave her best friend a questioning look, Nika giving them both a smile as she carefully gathered the glossy photos, slipping them into the envelope as she stood up, "I actually have to go. I promised Patrick to help him with his science homework –he wants me to do an animation of his project."
"Emmie would get excited over that," Gabe gave her a grin, which slipped a bit when Nika simply responded with a tight smile, "She'll be happy to help if Patrick needs it."
"Yeah," Nika nodded as she carefully moved over the bench, one leg at a time, keeping a hand on her skirt to avoid it getting blown up by the breeze, "Tyra already offered Emmie's services to Patrick. I'll see you two later."
They waved at each other, Vivi keeping her eyes on her best friend as she walked down the road towards her house, a few streets away from the ice cream shop. The sun was still high on the light blue sky but it made no difference over the cool wet feel to the breeze coming in from the ocean.
"So I was thinking," Gabe pressed a kiss on Vivi's shoulder, smiling when she turned her attention to him, "We should go to the movies this weekend."
Vivi widened her eyes as she reached up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear, "I have my driver's permit test after school."
"We can go afterwards to celebrate," he gave her a squeeze, their noses bumping as he moved in to kiss her smiling lips, "Maybe Uncle Seth will lend you the Mustang and you can drive us there."
"Yeah right," Vivi laughed, enjoying the feel of his mouth against hers while they talked, "He wouldn't even let Marc borrow it, which is why Tia Rosa got him his own car."
"Yes," Gabe reached up to touch his finger to the shallow dimple on her left cheek, "But Marc doesn't have one of these and he doesn't look near as adorable as you do when you smile and say please."
Vivi laughed, tipping her head back to kiss him, her fingers curling into his forearm as she twisted her upper body and slid her other arm around his narrow waist, enjoying the way it felt to have him so close she could feel his heart beating against hers.
There was nothing Gabriel enjoyed more than kissing his Vivi –not football nor racing his dirt bike nor the thought of flying a fighter jet could get his heart beating double time the way her sweet tasting kiss did. He slid the tip of his tongue over the wet delicate flesh inside her lower lip, the smooth surface of her straight teeth causing a shiver to run down his back.
Pulling back, he tugged at her bottom lip with his own mouth, the taste of her strawberry lip gloss in his mouth. He smiled at the dazed look she had once she opened her eyelids, touching his nose to hers as he murmured, "How about we get some ice cream then walk over to Hidden Beach? I'll walk you home before it gets dark."
Vivi smiled, loving the way he always asked her to do something with him –he never did get around to asking her to be his girlfriend but he always asked about the little things, such as her desire to do something over whatever he might want to do, "Sounds good to me."
April 9th
She never did wake up.
They'd taken her into ICU soon after the surgery, stating it would take a couple of hours for the anesthesia to wear out so she could gain consciousness but she never did.
The CT scan showed extensive bruising to her brain and two days later, their worst fear was confirmed –the infection traveled quickly through her blood stream, slowly shutting down her body.
It began with her kidneys –they placed her on a dialysis machine to keep them from completely shutting down but it still wasn't enough. Her liver followed soon after, her skin growing a sickly yellow as it stopped functioning the way it was supposed to.
By the time his sister and Ryan, her husband, arrived from the long drive from Louisiana –their baby boy was still too young to fly –their mother was holding on by a thread.
Within hours of their arrival, Sadie and Embry were forced to say their good-byes to the woman who'd been mother and father to them both for all of their lives.
Embry was in what had been his mother's room, sitting on the edge of the neatly made bed, the well loved cotton quilt he remembered from years past soft under his hands. The air still carried the faint scent of lavender and vanilla, smells he associated with his mother's warm hugs and soft skin.
He remembered running into this room when he was little, afraid of the monsters under his bed. His mother would cuddle him into her, right under this very quilt, and sing to him until he would fall asleep, the feel of her fingers running through his hair relaxing him.
He remembered her coming in here and closing the door when she needed a good cry –this was especially difficult for him after he phased. He couldn't tell the truth to his mother which meant she thought he was getting into trouble, cutting school and sneaking out of the house at night, even when she grounded him. It had been so difficult for him to defy her but he'd had a duty to the tribe to fulfill.
Looking around the room, he saw the neat but cluttered surface of her vanity, the abundant picture frames of him and his sister on her dresser. The closet doors were closed but he knew behind them, her clothes would be neatly hung up –dresses color coordinated followed by skirts, slacks, jeans, then tops, her shoes neatly lined up at the bottom of the closet, with stacks of books on the top shelf.
"Embry?"
He let out a soft sigh, closing his eyes as he took in a deep breath of the delicately scented air, the pain in his chest a faint throb but still just as sharp.
"Embry?"
"I'm in here."
He opened his eyes as soon as his sister appeared at the open doorway, a bit taken aback as he realized for the first time how much she looked like mom. Her oval face and high cheekbones, along with the straight nose and slightly slanted dark brown eyes made his heart ache, his eyes moving over every detail of her beautiful face, near black hair framing it in layers as it fell down her shoulders, the black wrap around dress she wore showcasing the curves of motherhood.
She gave him a sad smile, leaning against the door frame, "It's time."
He let out another sigh, giving her a nod as he looked away, his eyes dropping to the worn quilt under his fingers.
"I'm sorry," Sadie swallowed difficultly, the lump in her throat since their mother passed away two days ago still lodged in place, "I know this is hard for you."
"And for you."
"You two were so close, though," Sadie worked hard at keeping the tears at bay, biting her bottom lip hard before she continued, "You saw each other all the time."
"And you never got to see her enough," Embry wearily pushed himself to his feet, the mirror across from him reflecting the grief etched into his face.
"She was with me this past month," Sadie looked down at the low heeled black pumps she was wearing, a tear escaping the corner of her eye and rolling slowly down the side of her face, "But you…you didn't get to see her again."
Embry moved across the room, as if in slow motion, reaching out and tipping her chin up to look into her glassy eyes, his thumb moving over her wet cheek, "You look so much like mom."
Sadie couldn't stay strong anymore, her sobs breaking past the aching tightness in her chest as she threw herself into her brother's arms, the black button down shirt he wore along with black slacks soaking up the salt water. He held her tight, her small hands fisting his shirt; his own eyes were dry as he rubbed her back in comforting circles.
"It's not fair," Sadie mumbled into his wide chest, her shoulders shaking with the force of her tears, "She didn't get to see her grandson grow up –Neal won't get to know his grandmother…why did this have to happen? Why?"
Embry hated not being able to tell his sister the truth behind the accident –their mother had been murdered. He couldn't tell her he was to blame because of what he was and the guilt of knowing that was weighing heavy in his heart, making it impossible for him to release the grief he was also carrying along with the guilt.
Kissing the top of her head, he pulled back to look down into her red-rimmed eyes, her sobs having slowed down a bit, "Are Ryan and Neal waiting outside?"
Sadie nodded, reaching up to wipe away her tears, fingertips brushing along the edges of her eyes to catch any last straying drops, "Yes…will you ride with us?"
"Yeah," Embry gave his mother's room one last look before he gently ushered his sister out and down the hall, their steps slow and measured as if the world were at a tilt for them, "How long will you three be staying?"
"As long as you need us to," Sadie looked around the living room, memories of her childhood and teenage years bombarding her, each one with her mother front and center, "What are you going to do with the house?"
"I don't know yet," everywhere Embry looked, he saw his mother –the kitchen where she spent so much time teaching Sadie, Embry then eventually Emmie, how to cook. The couch in the living room where she would cuddle and nurse him whenever he got sick when he was a little boy…she may be gone from this world but he could still feel her in this house, "I don't even know if mom had a will."
"We can stay and help…with whatever necessary to wrap up mom's things," Sadie wrapped her arms around herself as they approached the front door, moving slower as if it would postpone the inevitable, "I don't know, I mean…does she have any pending debts we need to pay off? Things she's borrowed from other people we have to return?"
"I don't know, Sadie," Embry stopped before the front door, running his fingers through his hair, the grief rising up to suffocate him but he pushed it down –he needed to be strong right now –for his sister, "I haven't been living with mom for about six years now…we'll figure something out later, okay?"
Sadie nodded, reaching out for the doorknob then pulling back, turning to face her brother, dark brown eyes glittering with sorrow, sadness pulling at the corners of her full mouth, "Move to Louisiana with us."
"What?"
She reached out to grasp her little brother's hand, which was so much larger than her own, her hair rippling down her back as she tilted her head back to look into his eyes, "Move to Louisiana with us. There's a lot of opportunity out there, especially for engineers. With your Master's and experience, there will be many companies willing to pay you top dollar. You can stay with us until you find your own place –"
"Sadie, sweetie –"
"Neal will get to know his uncle," Sadie continued, wanting to get it all out before he could say no, "You can spend time with him, teach him about the tribe history, tell him about mom and how amazing she was."
"You can do that."
"But only you can be an uncle. Embry –"
"I can't," he couldn't let her continue, couldn't let his sister think she could talk him into this, "My life is here. I've got a job I enjoy, a house I've worked so hard on, and I have a family here…just like you have all that in Louisiana. I'll visit, as often as I can, but I can't move to Louisiana. I'm sorry, sis."
Sadie nodded, blinking back tears as she gave his hand a squeeze, "I thought it would be worth a shot."
He smiled, pulling her into his arms for a hug as he pressed a kiss to her smooth forehead, "Thank you for thinking of me, but I'll be okay. We both will."
She nodded again, closing her eyes as she hugged him, her arms wrapped around his narrow waist, her cheek resting against his hard chest, "I'll come see you –every chance I get. I promise."
"Make sure you bring Neal…might as well bring Ryan too."
Sadie let out a laugh, her long fingers covering her mouth as she pulled back to look at her brother, the front door opening to reveal her tall redheaded husband, their one moth old baby boy asleep in his arms, "Hey, you two…we have fifteen minutes to get there."
Letting out a simultaneous sigh, they both nodded, Embry holding the door open to let his sister out first before following behind her, closing it with a definitive click behind him.
The ride to the cemetery, where the service as well as burial would be held, was short and silent, Embry in the backseat watching his nephew sleep while at the front, Ryan –who was driving –held one of his wife's hands as she quietly cried into the other.
The service was simple yet lovely. Embry and Sadie had picked one of their mother's favorite poems, one written by Taha Aki after the death of his first wife, the mother of his eldest sons. Billy did the reading before bestowing a blessing for the journey into the spirit world. It ended with the primary tribal school students –where their mother had taught for many years –singing a traditional mourning song in Quileute.
Everyone in the reservation attended the service. Their mother had touched many lives without either Embry or Sadie being aware –she had friends amongst so many of the elder women, such as Linda, Sam's mother, and Sue. She also had many who'd once been her students, children she'd encouraged and inspired into healthy and responsible adults.
The hardest part was watching as the casket was lowered into the deep hole, Embry's hands fisted at his sides in an effort to keep from stopping them. The ache in his heart was about to overwhelm him when he felt a small hand tug at his fingers, slipping into his hand as soon as he relaxed them.
He didn't need to look to know who it was, the tightness in his chest loosening enough for him to be able to breathe again. She held on tight to his hand throughout what was left of the service, stayed by his side as they all made their way towards the nearby community center.
It was an old tradition to gather together after a burial and celebrate the life lived by the one who'd passed –in this case, Margaret 'Meg' Raven Call. Emily and Leah had taken care of the refreshments, their husbands setting up the tables and chairs. He'd given his mother's photo albums to Kim who'd put together the remembrance table, including the woven basket where all blessings, well wishes and good-byes would be placed, then set in the middle of the bonfire later that night to burn and release into the universe.
He sat near the remembrance table, nodding as people came by to offer their condolences, letting out a breath of relief when they moved on. Emmie had gone to get them something to drink so he just sat there, watching everyone as they mingled about, his sister currently talking with a couple of his mother's friends.
"Have you cried yet?"
He looked up as Emmie set two plastic cups on the table, her long dark hair tied back with a black ribbon, the lights reflecting off the surface of her glasses as she looked his way, "What?"
Moving to stand before him, she pushed her blue rimmed glasses up her nose, sorrow and worry evident in her blue eyes, "There are three kinds of tears –basal, reflex and emotional. The limbic system, which is what controls our emotions, is also the instigator for emotional tears. When you cry tears due to emotions such as sorrow or grief, several hormones are released, among them leucine enkephalin, which is a natural pain killer. It is better to cry when you feel grief because the pain of it will lessen and you'll feel better."
He stared at her for a few seconds before dropping his chin to his chest, hands fisted between his knees. A few more seconds passed before she moved in closer, placing her thin arms around his shoulders as his forehead fitted against the hollow of her shoulder.
It was at that moment he knew he could finally let go of his grief –he was in a safe place, his safe place, where he could fold with the pain of his grief without it tearing him apart.
