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Chapter 72
Han was quick on the draw, pulling his blaster out of its holster and pointing it directly at Fabio's chest. The prince cowered, falling to the ground and covering his head and chest with his arms, hair falling in front of him, creating an ineffectual blast shield.
"Ah, stop it, Captain Solo, stop! Oh, how dreadful. Why don't we play ring-around-the-rosie instead?" Threepio cried.
"What the hell are you doing, Fabio?" Han questioned, ignoring the droid.
"Don't shoot me!" the prince meekly commanded.
"And why shouldn't I? This whole time you've been lying, and I've had to put up with all your stupid behavior. Maybe the galaxy would be better off without you."
Dun dun dun!
"No, I'll change, I promise!"
Han pushed the blaster closer. "What, you mean like how you wanted to become a scoundrel? You weren't exactly telling the truth about that one."
Dun dun dun!
"I really did want to become a scoundrel. I just couldn't do it. This time I'll follow through. I won't go after your wife anymore."
"You may have been telling the truth before, buddy, but you still had the wrong intentions. I don't believe you."
Dun dun dun!
"Please, just give me a chance. It's what your wife wants."
Han glanced over to Leia, keeping an eye on Fabio. She shrugged.
"I don't really think she cares what happens to you, Fabio."
Dun dun dun!
"Where's that blasted noise coming from?"? Han asked Fabio, scowling.
Dun dun dun!
Fabio nervously pointed over to a man playing a large instrument nearby. The musician was watching them intently, hands poised over the apparatus. Han swiftly shifted his arm so that his blaster was pointing at the man.
"Are you finished?" Han asked, voice offering no alternative.
The man nodded, but by this time Fabio had jumped to a standing position and was attempting to run away. Han leapt after the prince, tackling him to the ground. The air escaped from Fabio's lungs with a loud "umpf!"
"I'm not finished with you yet. In fact, maybe Leia wants to help,"? Han said, glancing at his wife.
"Not really. You go ahead. Don't shoot him, though, Han. He's not worth it."
Han gawked, amazed at his wife's uncharacteristically sadistic attitude, while Fabio made a wheezing sound under the weight of the Corellian.
"You're sure?" Han questioned.
"I'm sure. I haven't been able to stand him since he first swooped to our front door in the middle of the night. And now that I know that he's been trying to "win me over" this whole time, I really don't care what happens to him."
I'll help Chewbacca growled.
"That's okay, buddy. I think our advantage would be more than unfair if you joined in," Han replied.
Fabio squirmed under Han's weight, rotating his shoulders rapidly in an attempt to free himself from the man's grasp, but his attempts only made Han tighten his grip on Fabio's arms. Fabio was desperate for an escape route (as he was never one to face a challenge) and as he squirmed he kicked the Corellian directly in the kneecap.
"Ow!" Han cried, enraged. He pulled back from Fabio, unintentionally giving the prince just enough time to escape yet again.
As the prince ran, Han limped after him, appearing ogre-ish with his stance and grunting.
"I'm gonna get you Fabio!" he shouted, gasping with pain, and holding his knee as he trod forth.
The prince desperately searched for objects to throw, and came upon a fist-sized clay jug that he flung in Han's direction. Doomed with terrible aim, Fabio missed by quite a distance, and scrambled around the room in search of more objects that he could use to defend himself. All the while Han lumbered toward him, closing the gap rather quickly for a temporarily crippled man. He led Fabio into a corner, where the prince crouched pathetically, clutching a vase in his hands. Han almost pitied the disgraced man.
"This is pretty sad for someone who said he wanted to become a scoundrel," Han admonished.
The prince looked up at the larger man as if he were about to cry. Han stepped back, not wanting to hit a defenseless man, no matter how annoying he was.
Fabio looked relieved, and stepped forward with his arms out in a gesture of peace. Han was almost willing to accept Fabio's apology, when Fabio began slapping at Han, determined to take down the Corellian. Han, newly angered, grasped both of Fabio's hands in one of his own, and sent the prince flying with a blow to the jaw. Fabio was once again unconscious.
