Part 2 Started: 13/01/06
Part 2 Finished: 13/04/06
Author's Note Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. The rights to those characters and to the show belong to the creators of the show, to CBS, The Sullivan Company and to A&E.
This story takes place during and after "A Washington Affair" and picks up exactly where "The Letter – Part 1: The Repercussions" finished.
The Letter
Part 2 – The Resolution
By Rachel
As the clock in the President's office struck nine in the morning and with the formalities over with Michaela and Sully, still a little shocked by the whole sordid affair, shook the proffered hand of Ulysses S Grant and left to inform their waiting children what had happened
They both knew that as soon as Sully opened the door to the adjoining corridor that there would be a barrage of questions.
Before they reached the door Sully turned towards Michaela and took her hand in his and said softly "I think it would be better to head straight to a café and go over the details once?"
Michaela held Sully's hand and gave it a gentle but firm squeeze and said "It's over…let's just spend the day relaxing with the children…and each other?"
"I agree Michaela but we do need to tell them what happened. Don't ya think that would be a good place to start?"
Feeling less than enthusiastic for re-living the entire ordeal Michaela was more than a little reluctant to face her family, but she knew that there was no choice; she had to leave the relative safety and peace of the President's office and face them.
Knowing that Sully was waiting for her response she thought that she had better say something and the only thing that came to mind was "I suppose so. We had better go."
Sully was only too aware of Michaela's hesitation, and if he was honest he really couldn't blame her. He suspected that she had only told him half of what had happened since he was arrested and he knew, even though he didn't like the thought, they had to talk, alone and soon!
Together they summoned the last ounce of courage that they had and opened the door. There was no logical reason for their fear except that none of this had been logical from start to finish, so why should meeting their family be any different. It was almost as if they were expecting something to happen and when it didn't they were both left wondering what to do next.
Matthew was the first to react, as he spun around, initially not sure who was exiting, were they friend or foe. As soon as he realised whom it was he ran straight into his Ma's warm embrace; a comfort that spoke far more than words would ever say.
Brian was the next to run into Michaela's arms. The poor boy had been so scared about losing another mother that he had only just realised that wasn't going to happen. This realisation provoked the down pouring of happy tears from both himself and Michaela.
Colleen looked at her brothers with a smile on her face. There was Brian who had never doubted that the three of them would get back in time to rescue their Ma, and he had been proved right. To look at him now, holding onto Michaela for dear life you would have thought that she actually was his mother. It was a beautiful sight and one that warmed Colleen's heart.
Then there was Matthew, Colleen mused at how rarely he ever showed any yearning for physical affection from Michaela but here he was the first one to embrace her.
Colleen didn't think that she had ever felt more loved than she did at that moment and yet for some reason she was reticent in her reaching for Michaela's attention, Michaela noticed this and opened her arms to include Colleen as well in this family reunion.
Colleen readily moved towards her mother and mentor, whispering in her ear "I'm sorry Ma for everything"
"Shh that's alright sweetheart, we'll talk later. Let's just enjoy the moment ok?"
"Thanks Ma, I'm just so relieved that it's over and we can go home as a family!"
"Yes Colleen, we can all go home now." Saying the last while she sighed Michaela just couldn't rid her-self of this nagging feeling that she didn't really want to go home. Not now and maybe not at all.
Yes, she was tired, there was no doubt about that. And yes, she was incredibly relieved but there was just something…something she couldn't put her finger on that was troubling her. Something had changed. She somehow felt disconnected from Sully and this alarmed her.
Sully's gentle hand on her shoulder brought her back to reality. "Ya alright?"
"Yes I'm fine… just a little overwhelmed and tired that's all."
"Ya sure? Ya didn't even here Matthew say that he'd take the kids and meet us later."
"I'm fine Sully…let's go."
"Ok but I promise we'll make sure that you take a rest before going home."
"Thank you, that would be nice. Now let's go and get something to eat and see our family."
Sully once again got the sense that all was not right with Michaela. He was now positive that he had to do something; today, before the tickets were bought and the plans were made.
This much was certain they had to get away and recover both emotionally and spiritually from this trial. Quite how this was going to be achieved and where they would go he was as yet unsure of but he was positive that it was going to happen!
But for now the priority was time with his…no… their family. He really needed to talk with Cloud Dancing but that seemed impossible, as he wasn't even there. Taking Michaela's hand firmly in his he led her out of the White House and along Capitol Hill to meet up with the children.
To see this delightful couple strolling down the hill in the warm autumn sun you would have thought that they were stealing a couple of days away for a romantic interlude instead of being reunited after a most heinous miscarriage of justice. As they approached the main parade they could see an assortment of tables and ornately patterned parasols displayed to catch the eye of the passers-by.
Sitting at the far end of this parade was the very party they were looking for. Sully waved back when he saw the children calling him.
Again Michaela was reserved, almost detached, from what was going on around her. Sully was still unsure as to the reason for her behaviour. For the time being he decided to just accept it as fatigue and not bring it up, but that wasn't going to last once the children were on their way home.
When his parents reached him, Brian immediately rushed over to his Ma. He hoped that this union meant this was going to be the last time they were going to be separated.
As Michaela breathed a sigh of relief, and with a rather heavy Brian settling down on her lap, who it appeared wasn't willing to be separated from her, even by the distance of one chair length, Michaela could feel her body begin to relax, but her mind and emotions were far from doing the same thing
Noticing the change in his heartsong's demeanour pleased Sully although he too was far from at ease.
Matthew had been observing his Ma closely and could tell that she was exhausted in every way shape and form. He was not surprised in the slightest. He knew just how hard Michaela tended to push herself when there was a cause that needed fighting for or a problem that needed solving. Fighting for Sully was no different and yet very different at the same time. After all this man held her heart and soul, he was her life. Matthew knew that she wouldn't have stopped until he was free. Even if it meant risking her own life in the process.
He didn't believe that he had ever witnessed a truer testament to love than what he saw between Michaela and Sully, right here, right now. He didn't know how many other couples would put themselves on the line the way that Michaela had for Sully. He truly believed that they would go to the ends of the earth for each other and for that he admired them greatly. Forcing himself back to the present he asked his Ma softly, "Can I get you anythin to eat? You must be starved. You too Sully?"
Glancing toward Sully and seeing a nod in response Michaela replied "Yes, thank you Matthew it has been a long time since we last ate." In fact she couldn't remember when the last time was. For Sully it would have only been a slice of bread if he was lucky.
Turning towards the waiter Matthew said, "Can we have a plate of eggs and corn bread and a jug of coffee."
As the waiter turned and went off to fill the order Matthew once again turned his attention towards his Ma and said, "We're real sorry about everything that happened Dr. Mike. But there is one more thing that we need to tell ya."
Matthew turned briefly and looked to his siblings for support and reassurance. He knew that the next bit was going to be difficult, but he had decided when they sent the telegram to Dorothy that facing up to what they had done was the only way. Taking a deep breath he continued shakily, "When we were on the way home…we…that is I…opened your letter and we decided to send word to Dorothy when we changed trains at Roanoke. We're sorry and all but we felt that we had to do something."
Prepared for what he assumed would be the inevitable backlash and the fiery end of his Ma's temper Matthew was completely dumbfounded when all he got was a calm, resolute, "That's alright Matthew." Michaela continued while her son breathed a sigh of relief. "If we're being completely honest, I should be as well. I knew you'd open it because I knew that you didn't want to leave. Thank you for coming back and for thinking to fulfil my wishes of informing Cloud Dancing and Dorothy." Pausing to adjust a very weighty Brian, Michaela finished by saying "Do you know if they are going to be able to come, did they send word?"
"Yes Ma, we got a telegram before we left to find you. All they said was that they would be here as soon as possible."
"Thank you, Matthew."
Looking across at Colleen Michaela could tell something was troubling the young, impressionable girl. Placing her free hand on Colleen's arm she said "What is it Colleen?"
"But Ma aren't you mad?" Colleen quietly contributed for she had been listening to this discussion from her position next to Sully.
"I should be Colleen. You all know how I value privacy, however these were exceptional circumstances. And as such I will not hold this against any of you. You coming back, knowing that there was a likelihood that I would be cross with you all showed how much you love me…us, and I will always treasure that. Thank you."
By the time she had got to the last part there were fresh tears in her eyes and her voice was faltering, but she had made it to the end without it breaking. This fact that didn't go unnoticed by anyone at the table, especially Sully who was rather perplexed by the whole discussion. He decided that he would ask her about it later when they were alone.
Thinking to himself that the amount of things to talk about just kept increasing. He was rapidly coming to the conclusion that wherever he ended up taking Michaela would be for at least a week in order to put all of this behind them once and for all.
Just as Sully was once again reminded of the importance of speaking to Cloud Dancing before too long, the waiter returned with their much needed sustenance. Placing the food onto the table the waiter turned to Matthew and asked, "Will there be anything else Sir?" Momentarily taken aback Matthew shook himself and said "No thank you that's fine."
Once the waiter had returned to the main seating area Matthew encouraged his Ma to eat. "Come on guys dig in." Trying to teach by example he proceeded to take a huge mouthful of eggs but didn't get much response from either Michaela or Sully who both seemed lost in their own worlds.
Glancing up at her son Michaela tried to put her best, strong face on and said, "Sorry Matthew, I guess I am more tired than hungry. I will try and eat something soon."
Noticing Michaela's reluctance Sully decided to try and show that it was ok to feel the way she did but that she needed to eat. So taking a spoon into his hand he filled it with eggs and offered it to her saying, "I know ya don't feel like eatin' now but ya got ta keep ya strength up. Please Michaela, for me?"
Hoping that the last request would make her eat Sully waited and was relieved to see her beginning to melt and reach for the spoon, which he gladly gave to her.
Slowly swallowing the eggs that Sully offered Michaela had to admit that they did indeed taste good, she was much hungrier than she had thought.
Just as Michaela reached for some more she saw Cloud Dancing and Dorothy walking towards them.
With a questioning look on her face Michaela arose and greeted her friend warmly, "Oh I'm so pleased to see you. When did you get here?" Dorothy placed a comforting hand on her friend's shoulder and said with a soft smile, "We just arrived. When we got word from Matthew we were both so worried that we left straight away. Are you alright?"
Michaela was secretly very relieved at having Dorothy there with them, and of course Cloud Dancing as well. So returning Dorothy's smile with one of her own as best she could. "Yes we're fine, tired but fine."
Taking a seat across from Michaela and glancing across at Sully who had been shaking his head during this and decided that silence was probably the best course of action for now Dorothy requested that someone fill her in on what happened while they ate and drank.
And so began the repeat story that Michaela had wanted to avoid. All listened intently as they took turns in relaying the events leading up to Sully's arrest and what had transpired afterwards.
However Sully noticed that Michaela was becoming more and more withdrawn and was speaking in such a hushed tone that hardly anyone could hear her. All was not well and he suspected that Cloud Dancing could sense this as well. She had once again stopped eating and was detaching herself from all of the talk.
Something had to be done and soon, Sully feared that if he didn't act he was going to lose her if not in body than in spirit and he just couldn't allow that to happen, not after all this.
Both Cloud Dancing and Dorothy had remained silent totally enthralled and amazed by the goings on but now they both felt the need to speak. Sensing that her friend had hardly touched her food and she suspected, as she knew Michaela only too well, that she probably hadn't eaten in days she had better say something so taking a deep breath she began.
"Come on Michaela, I know you're tired and you have been through a great deal but you have to eat! If I know you, you haven't eaten in days and Colorado Springs needs you back strong and healthy. We need you back strong and healthy. Just try and eat a little, please."
Seeing the desperation on her friends faces Michaela finally succumbed once again to the hunger that she had been trying to forget about. Satisfied that her point had been made Dorothy joined the rest of the group in digging into a well-deserved breakfast.
Once everyone's appetites had been sated the children's thoughts turned to the journey home. Although they really couldn't wait to get home to their own beds and their friends there was a matter that needed to be dealt with, and soon.
Looking to her older brother for reassurance before she spoke, a fact that didn't go un-noticed by Michaela, Colleen tentatively spoke "Ma?"
Trying her best to focus on what her daughter wanted Michaela sighed softly and said "Yes Colleen, what is it?"
There was now no backing out. Once again looking to Matthew for support if she should need it, and receiving a nod in answer Colleen spoke the next in such a rush that Michaela was forced to repeat the request in her head to make sure that she had actually understood. "Can we…that is, I mean, may we go down to the park? We'd really like ta spend some time with ya both 'fore we go home"
Knowing that her daughter was expecting an answer she replied while stroking Brian's hair as a distraction, "That will be fine Colleen, I've…no… we've missed you all too. We'll arrange the tickets home first and then we'll all head off to the park, ok?
With nods all round the children seemed content to return to their food, however Colleen's mention of home had caught Michaela off guard. Realising that she hadn't even thought about home since the escape threw Michaela. To be honest she didn't really want to go home, not yet anyway. She needed time! Time with Sully. Time on their own.
Michaela turned to Dorothy and spoke in a hushed tone so the children wouldn't hear her "Dorothy would you mind taking the children home today? Sully and I will follow on shortly."
Slightly caught off guard Dorothy had hoped that she would be able to at least catch her breath before returning home but one look at Michaela put that thought clear out of her head. This wasn't the time to be selfish; no now was the time to be a true friend.
Seeing her friend nodding in agreement gave Michaela a glimmer of hope. It appeared that neither Colleen nor Matthew had heard what she had said to Dorothy; however one look at Brian made her realise that he had heard the request and she now anticipated his response.
"But Ma, aren't we going home together? Don't ya want to come home?" Was the plaintive cry from Brian and he then promptly buried his face in her chest and cried softly.
Looking to Sully for help Michaela began rubbing Brian's back softly, gently reassuring him Michaela responded quietly "Oh Brian of course I want to come home! I love you all so much but I think Sully and I need some time together. Can you understand that sweetheart?"
Sully who was secretly pleased that it had been Michaela who had initiated the need for some time alone, moved so that he was kneeling down in front of Brian and said, "Brian, look at me?"
Once Brian turned his face to see Sully he continued, "You know that we love ya don't ya?"
Seeing the little boy nod his head he carried on. "Well ya Ma and I have been through a lot and we need some time to talk. It would be easier on ya Ma if she had ya blessin'. Can ya do that fer her?" Seeing the acceptance slowly dawn in Brian's eyes Sully was satisfied that he had got his point across.
"Sure Ma, I'll just miss ya that's all. You'll come back soon…promise?"
Holding Brian securely in her embrace Michaela said, "Oh Brian we'll miss you as well and I promise that we'll be back before you know it. Thank you sweetheart for understanding. I love you."
"I love you too Ma."
Relief suddenly flushed through the faces of all the children at the realisation that this time they were going home for good. Realising that if they didn't make tracks towards the train station soon they wouldn't be going anywhere today Dorothy said, "Ok let's get going then and get our tickets sorted out then we can rest a little."
They all shouted, "You've got it Miss Dorothy!"
With that Brian leapt off his Ma's lap and raced ahead with Colleen, Dorothy hot on their heels asking them to slow down.
Turning to Sully Matthew asked, "Are you coming Sully?"
"Not right now Matthew but we'll be along to see you off, don't worry."
Accepting that Sully probably needed to talk to Cloud Dancing alone he took his Ma's arm and walked at a gentle pace off towards the station. Which if the truth were known was actually only a fifteen-minute walk away.
Once Cloud Dancing had ensured that Michaela and Matthew were out of earshot he turned to Sully and said, "It is good to have you back but something is troubling you?"
"I'm fine Cloud Dancing. Something is troubling Dr Mike though. I need ta talk and I need ya help."
"I have sensed this turmoil my brother. What can I do to help? "
"I need to take her away. But I need ta go somewhere new. Somewhere safe. Somewhere neutral."
"The spirits have told me this already but I needed to hear it from you. If you will trust me then I know a place."
"I trust you, you know that, and Dr Mike will as well. When do we leave?"
"At sunrise tomorrow if you will be rested enough by then?"
"We'll be ready."
Glancing across at the town square clock Sully realised that if they were going to have any family time, as Colleen had asked for, before the children went home, they had better hurry. So, leaving a tip for the waiter, they took their leave and walked briskly towards the station.
When they arrived and had chuckled to themselves at the stares and the well have you ever's that always seemed to ripple through the crowds of big, fashionable cities whenever Sully and Cloud Dancing arrived in their frontier wear.
Spying the group that they were looking for off in the distance Sully and Cloud Dancing set off towards them.
Seeing Sully approach, Michaela turned to him and said, "Oh good, you made it. Everyone is booked onto tonight's train and stage coach at Roanoke."
"When does it leave?" was Sully's response.
"In about three or four hours, so we've got time to spend with them as they wanted."
So with their travel arrangements set they all departed from the station to walk the short distance to the park that Colleen had spotted earlier. The children, well that is Brian and Colleen to be exact, were chattering excitedly about going home and telling their friends of all that had happened. Matthew was walking quietly alongside his mother lost in his own thoughts. Dorothy, Sully, and Cloud Dancing followed along behind.
Once they reached the entrance to the park Brian turned towards his mother and spoke, while catching his breath, from his constant chattering, "Ma is it alright if we go off and play for a bit?"
Smiling at the ever-present energy that her son exhibited Michaela nodded and just gave a soft, "Be careful" as a motherly warning. However before she had finished speaking he was gone. Asking Colleen to watch over her brother Michaela found a bench to sit on with Dorothy and just allowed herself to relax and enjoy the sounds of the Potomac river running by and the birds in the trees.
As Michaela sat there she could hear the laughter of her children as they frolicked in Monument Park, and she could detect hushed tones behind her. Opening her weary eyes to see who was whispering, she discovered that it was Sully talking to Matthew. Discerning that it was a man-to-man talk Michaela left them to it. Turning her gaze towards Dorothy who sat across from her, Michaela suggested without the need for words that they take a stroll along the riverbank.
Watching the ladies walk the short distance to the riverbank gave Sully an opportunity to continue his discussion with Matthew. Turning back to the young man, whom Sully thought of as his son, Sully gestured to him to sit on the vacated bench. Nodding his head in agreement the two men in Michaela's life sat and wondered where to begin.
Deciding that perhaps the best approach was to start with what happened at lunch Sully turned so he was facing Matthew and said "Did ya hear what ya Ma and Brian said at lunch?"
"Yeah I heard. I understand that ya need some time 'fore ya go home and that's ok by me Sully."
Relieved that it appeared that he didn't have to explain himself to Matthew, Sully said "Thanks, that means a lot." Gathering his thoughts before continuing Sully drew a deep breath and carried on "Matthew have you and Colleen talked 'bout what happened?"
Looking directly at Sully Matthew tersely replied, "Sure we talked, it was hard not ta when Ma was goin' through hell."
Momentarily stung by Matthew's tone Sully decided not to rise to the anger that was boiling in Matthew's features, instead he got up and turned his back on the young man. Focusing on Cloud Dancing who had remained at his side throughout, Sully replied, "I'm sorry Matthew for everythin'. It's important fer me ta know that ya feel able ta talk 'bout what happened." Returning his gaze to Matthew Sully anxiously awaited his reply.
"I know that Sully but it won't be yet…not 'til Ma's better and we're all home and safe." Knowing that was all he was likely to get from Matthew Sully nodded in a resigned agreement and gestured that they should join the ladies who were now sat under an oak with two very out of breath children.
Just as the clock in the town square rung out four O'clock Michaela looked up to see Sully, Matthew and Cloud Dancing approaching. She knew that this signified more than the end of their discussion. It meant that it was time to walk down to the train station and say goodbye to her children.
Knowing that sitting in the park wasn't going to put of the inevitable events that were to follow, that of the children leaving and her impending talk with Sully. Michaela turned to Dorothy and said quietly and half-heartedly, "We'd better be making our way to the station." With that she stood up, rather stiffly, and called the children as she began to join Sully, Cloud Dancing and Matthew.
Before to long they were back on the main street and walking briskly towards the entrance of the train station. Although Michaela, and Sully to some extent, didn't really want to say goodbye to the children, they both knew that it was imperative that they have some time alone.
Upon finding the right platform and with tears in her eyes and her voice breaking Michaela told the children that she loved them all dearly and would miss them terribly. With the same responses from Matthew, Colleen and Brian they boarded the train and waited for Dorothy.
Michaela gently grasped Dorothy's arm and walked with her a little way from the train.
"Look after them for me. I'll send word when I can but I don't know when that will be. Please explain to Jake and tell him that I am sorry."
"Now don't you go worrying over the children or the town. After what you've been through you need to relax and talk to Sully." Saying the last with a note of determination in her voice Dorothy grasped her friend's shoulders and leaning forward as if to kiss her cheek whispered in her ear, "It'll be alright, you see, it'll be just fine."
With a slight nod of her head Michaela ushered Dorothy onto the train and with tears streaming down her cheeks she said farewell to her children. With Sully's reassuring hand on her shoulder she wiped her face and put on a brave smile for Brian's sake. Waving furiously until the train had long since disappeared into the landscape Michaela just stood there as if frozen in the moment.
Realising that Michaela hadn't moved or said anything since saying goodbye to the children Sully gently took her hand in his and said, "Ya ready to go? We need ta find somewhere ta stay tonight."
Knowing that she was being observed by Cloud Dancing Michaela made the effort of saying, "Yes I am ready, but where are we going tomorrow?"
Expecting the question Sully had already prepared an answer hoping it would suffice but he would soon know as he said, "You don't need ta worry bout that. Cloud Dancing's goin to take us on a trip, you'll enjoy it I promise."
Michaela trusted her mentor implicitly. However, her trust in Sully had been tested so her initial reaction was to object. She really was too tired to debate the matter with Sully, so she let her trust in Cloud Dancing win. With a simple "ok," the matter was settled.
Sully was once again surprised by the ease of which he seemed to be getting what he wanted. There was no doubt in his mind at all that Michaela was worn out and had suffered as much as he had. This suffering had to be rectified however the actual course of events that he hoped would lead to a reaffirmation of their love was not as clear. He just had to trust that Cloud Dancing knew where they were going and what would happen when they arrived.
Cloud Dancing had been constantly observing his friend with growing concern. He had never known Michaela to be so defeated in body and spirit. He truly hoped that Sully, his brother, was going to be strong enough to handle the release of Michaela's emotions once they arrived at the healing ground.
Acknowledging the fact that all three of them had to find accommodation for tonight Sully took hold of Michaela's hand and led her out of the station and towards the boarding house that they had used when they first arrived.
As they approached the main desk Michaela wanted to get settled and be on her own as quickly as possible so she made short work of finding three rooms, all on the same floor. She gave Sully and Cloud Dancing their keys and quickly excused herself.
Sully and Cloud Dancing were left standing in the middle of the reception area completely dumbstruck at Michaela's sudden exit. Not wanting to cause a scene they followed Michaela's example, although not understanding why, and retired to their own rooms agreeing to meet at seven O' Clock for supper.
Sully's room was next to Michaela's and he could hear her pacing and then it all went silent. He initially thought that she had fallen asleep but then it came. The most gut wrenching sound that he thought that he had ever heard.
She was crying! No more than that she was nearly hysterical, he could hear the power of the sobs as they came through the thin walls that separated their rooms.
He was unsure what to do. Part of him wanted to run and take her in his arms and take all the pain away but part of him suspected that she needed, maybe even wanted to do this alone.
It was evident that she had been through far more than he was aware of; maybe she would never tell him everything but for now they had to get some rest before the healing could truly begin.
Taking a deep, cleansing breath Sully braced himself for the unknown as he tentatively walked into the corridor and tapped on Michaela's door. Not hearing any response verbal or otherwise he tried again, this time accompanying the knocking with "Michaela? You ok?"
Still nothing. Sully was beginning to get worried so he decided to try the door hoping it was going to be unlocked. It was, oh sweet relief.
When he entered he discovered Michaela lying curled up on the bed, looking for the entire world like she was asleep. But Sully knew her better than that. She was trying to ignore his presence and failing miserably.
Slowly walking over towards the edge of the bed Sully gently sat down and lovingly placed a hand on her arm and began to sooth her by stoking her arm all the time whispering words of reassurance and love until he felt her relax and she began to turn to face him.
Her face was red from crying and her beautiful eyes were swollen but Sully still thought that she was the most beautiful creature that he had ever seen.
"It's ok ya know, ya don't got ta be afraid any more. It's over now."
Michaela wasn't sure how he seemed to instinctively know what she had been thinking but he was scarily near the truth.
Not able to put a voice to her concerns and feelings yet all Michaela could do was reach for Sully's comforting arms that were inviting her into a loving, reassuring embrace.
There would be time for words later but now was a time for a reunion of sorts. As the gentle caresses turned to more sensual touches and the kisses began for the time being all of their worries were forgotten as the reassurance that only love can bring lit up Michaela's room.
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As the train chugged along the dusty tracks the children sat staring blankly at the unchanging scenery.
Turning towards Dorothy Colleen said, "Why couldn't we stay? It just don't seem fair that we came all this way back for nothing."
"It wasn't for nothing Colleen, you children showed Michaela just how much you love her and Sully by coming back and being there for her. I know that you would've liked to have stayed longer but your Ma and Sully need time alone, time together that they just can't get in Colorado Springs."
Nodding in understanding Colleen said, "I know Miss Dorothy. Do you think they'll be ok?"
"Yes I think they'll be fine. Cloud Dancing's with them. They will be fine and home before you know it." Saying the last almost in an effort to reassure herself more than Colleen, Dorothy sighed and said, "Try and get some rest we've got a long journey ahead of us."
Acknowledging all of what Dorothy had said and realising the fact that they had indeed got a very long journey she simply said "Thanks Miss Dorothy, for everything." With that Colleen placed her book down, closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.
Dorothy sat there quietly, thinking of all that had befell her dear friend. She dearly hoped that their time alone together would be able to mend the broken trust that she suspected lay at the heart of Michaela's withdrawn behaviour. Knowing that there was nothing that could be done by her she too drifted off.
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As Sully felt himself beginning to react to the overly passionate Michaela that lay before him he allowed himself to momentarily think about the amazing wedding night that they had to look forward to.
It seemed to Sully that this side of Michaela was a rare one indeed. She was normally reserved and incredibly unsure of her sensuality and why he found her so amazing baffled her. But now, after all of this torment she was allowing herself to go further and be freer than she ever had before and Sully was reluctant to stop her. But he knew that they had to break apart or things may get out of control extremely quickly. Forcing himself to pull back and look into her eyes he brought a hand up to her cheek and said softly, "It's ok to feel ya know, ya don't got ta be ashamed. That was beautiful just like ya are."
Amazed that once again Sully had read her thoughts Michaela looked away shyly and said almost in a whisper "You aren't cross with me? That I made you stop?"
Stunned by the question but slightly amused at the same time Sully said "Cross? Why would I be cross? Ya allowed yaself to give, fully for the first time and I will treasure that. I would've stopped anyway ya know that I wouldn't have caused ya to feel ashamed or embarrassed. I love ya."
Sealing the last with a simple kiss almost as an exclamation point to what he had just said Sully got up to give them some space. He feared that if he stayed the heat in the room would be too consuming for him to cope with.
Realising what Sully had done and loving him all the more for it Michaela smiled her special smile at him and said "We had better get some rest before supper, don't you think?"
"I guess, we've got 'bout four hours or so till we meet Cloud Dancing. You've got time for some sleep."
"That is a good idea, I really am feeling tired now. Be sure to wake me in time?"
"Of course I will. Now close ya eyes and dream happy dreams."
Giving her one last quick kiss Sully exited the room and went back into his in an effort to try and get some sleep himself.
Both lay on their own beds, thinking the same thoughts, although neither knew. These thoughts were not about how lucky they were, nor were they about how much they loved each other. They centred on destructive emotions of distrust and lies.
It seemed to both Sully and Michaela that their quick ten-minute tryst had just accentuated the despair that they had been feeling instead of reducing the doubts and confusion that they felt. As they drifted off to sleep the dreams that should have been happy and relaxed were replaced by dreams filled with pain and anguish.
A knocking at his door waked Sully. Having trouble coming out of his sleep state Sully looked more than a little confused when he opened the door to find Cloud Dancing on the other side. "A-ho my brother I see you slept well."
"A-ho Cloud Dancing, come in. I slept some but I wouldn't say well. Dr Mike isn't awake yet but we'd better make sure she's up soon."
"Yes. Do you want to wake her?"
Although Cloud Dancing said the last with a slight grin on his face, knowing that Sully would like nothing more than to wake his fiancée with a kiss, he was more than a little concerned that the normally unstoppable Dr Mike seemed extremely tired and very subdued. He vowed to himself to pay close attention to her as they ate supper.
The sound of Sully's voice brought Cloud Dancing back to the present. "I guess I should although she had a rough time earlier, I'm tempted to let her sleep."
"Tell me more."
"She was just real upset then real passionate as if she didn't really know how to feel or react."
"Hmm, this is not unexpected to me but I suspect it may be to you."
Confused by his friend's riddles Sully looked at him and asked, "What do ya mean it ain't unexpected?"
"My brother has Dr Mike said anything to you about this trial? Has she said anything at all since we arrived?"
Thinking about what he had just heard Sully realised that his mentor and friend was right. Michaela had hardly said anything since they had left the White House. And what she had said was more as a matter of course rather than out of longing.
Seeing Sully taking heed of what he had just said but needing to finish before Sully woke Dr Mike, Cloud Dancing continued by saying "She is confused, scared, and feels alone."
"How do I help her?"
Not surprised by his brother's intuitive question Cloud Dancing replied, "You already know how but you have to be strong, she needs you to be strong."
Knowing that Cloud Dancing was right and Sully did in fact know how to help Michaela reassured him that all was not as bleak as it may have seemed earlier. Deciding that they really had to get something to eat and soon Sully walked towards the door and gestured to Cloud Dancing to follow.
Once outside Sully asked Cloud Dancing to wait in the café area downstairs while he woke Michaela. Nodding his agreement they separated to fulfil their jobs.
Knocking softly on Michaela's door Sully waited for a reply. Hearing her move from the bed and walk towards the door filled Sully with hope. She was at least willing to open the door and potentially join them for something to eat.
Opening the door only enough to see who it was Michaela was hoping that it would be Cloud Dancing as she really didn't want to face Sully yet. But to her disappointment it was Sully.
Sully could tell that she had been crying again and he suspected that she had probably only got an hour's sleep, if any at all, due to the dark circles under her eyes. Sully also noticed the reticence with which she opened the door. Why didn't she want to see him? What was wrong with her? Wasn't she pleased that it was over? These questions and more were screaming through Sully's head and they would all have to be addressed later.
However for now he had to convince her to get ready and come with him. Approaching her cautiously he began "Hi, did ya manage ta get any sleep?"
Appreciating the neutrality of Sully's opening question mad Michaela smile slightly and she responded by saying, "Yes a little."
Relieved that she had had a little rest Sully approached the next question with more confidence "Are ya goin' to come and have some food with us? We've got a long day tomorrow."
"Let me just clean up and I'll meet you down there."
Realising that was all he was going to get by way of a positive response Sully nodded and left her to get ready.
As soon as the door closed and she heard Sully walk down the hallway Michaela breathed a sigh of relief and leaned back against the door wondering what she was going to do.
Trying to compose herself and still her rapid breathing she made the decision that there was no point in hiding. Whatever Cloud Dancing and Sully had planned for tomorrow was clearly important. Pulling herself together slowly Michaela splashed some cold water on her face and ran a brush through her hair and left to locate Sully and Cloud Dancing.
Seeing them seated at a small table she put on her best smile, although she knew that Sully would see right through it and approached them carefully.
"Sully, Cloud Dancing have you been here long?" Knowing full well that Michaela knew how long they had been down here Sully worked out that she was trying to not let on how distraught she was. Sensing that provoking a deeper conversation would not be a good idea at this precise moment Sully responded by saying, "Evenin' Dr Mike, no we've just got here. Here let me help ya sit."
Pulling the chair out for her gave Sully the opportunity to look into her eyes; what he saw scared him to the bone. There was no fire, no passion. No emotion at all. He didn't even know if there was love displayed in them. Briefly allowing his mind to wander he once again thought about all that he had been through and why. Having secured his release and pardon Michaela seemed to still be living the whole ordeal.
None of it made sense to Sully who wasn't one to dwell on the past or on solved problems. He was one for the here and now. That meant Michaela. Why wouldn't she talk to him, it was normally the other way around but this time she had been the one to isolate her feelings and shut her thoughts so far away that he couldn't read them. Her continued silence was deeply concerning to Sully, he desperately wanted to reach out and hold her, reassure her, take away all her insecurities and fears. For some reason she wasn't reaching out to him with her eyes, her mind, her soul.
It seemed to Sully that she was trying to spare him any more pain and anguish. Almost smiling to himself, it occurred to Sully that he shouldn't be surprised by this behaviour. It was after all so typical of Michaela to put everyone else's needs before her own. However in the here and now Sully knew that something was different but this time he wasn't going to allow her to do it and make herself unhappy in the process.
After all it was his stupidity that had caused this in the first place. It should be him that was shutting himself away not her, not his heartsong. This closed door, as he was beginning to think of it was just another reminder of his failings, his unworthiness. The more he thought the more he realised that there actually was only one course of action to be taken.
Going over the plan that he had previously dismissed, he sadly knew that was the one he had to go with but more over he knew for certain that Michaela wasn't going to like it. But it had to be done. She didn't deserve him. However he realised that nothing could be done now he would have to be patient and wait a little while longer until they reached Cloud Dancing's chosen location.
Feeling a hand on his back brought Sully into the present with a jolt, looking up he saw Cloud Dancing trying to attract his attention without being too obvious. "Sorry I guess I got distracted. What was it Cloud Dancing?"
"I believe Dr Mike's chair is pushed in far enough however we need to order, do we not, if we are to eat tonight?"
"Sure, sorry."
Beckoning to the waiter Sully requested a jug of water and three plates of stew and biscuits.
With a simple "Yes sir, right away." The waiter left to fill his order, leaving the three friends to their own thoughts once again.
Cloud Dancing again started to study the faces of his protégée and brother seeing anguish displayed in both but what concerned him more was the overwhelming sense of loss radiating from Michaela. There never had been any doubt in his mind since he had first observed her at the train station that she was confused and alone but witnessing this lost soul when there were no other distractions was deeply concerning to Cloud Dancing. He knew that if they didn't find their way back to each other when they were alone then the Spirits would not rest.
Noticing the waiter beginning to return forced Cloud Dancing to return to the present. As the waiter placed the three bowls of steaming stew down on the table there was a moment when Cloud Dancing wondered if Michaela and Sully had noticed, but much to his relief Sully looked up and acknowledged the waiter with a nod and a simple "Thanks."
Looking at the food that had been set in front of her made Michaela reach, she really had no appetite at all and the smell was almost too much for her to bear. Knowing that neither Sully nor Cloud Dancing would rest until they saw her eat she tentatively picked up the spoon and began to eat as best she could. It was almost as if she felt that if she ate then it would be one step closer to getting away from Washington and all it held and for that she couldn't wait.
Glancing across the table at Michaela, Sully had seen her struggle when the food was brought out but he had also witnessed a little of her famous determination show when she had started to eat. This filled him with a little glimmer of hope; maybe all was not lost, maybe given time things would work themselves out. However he suspected that the only reason she was eating now was to avoid a repetition of the café scene earlier when he almost had to force-feed her. This realisation made this small amount of hope dwindle away and reminded Sully once again that he had done this to her and she deserved more.
As the clock in the foyer chimed eight in the evening a small yawn escaped from Michaela and she tried in vain to hide it, it must have been nearly twenty hours since she last had any sleep and for Sully it was probably nearly two days. Yes the catnap earlier had taken the edge of her exhaustion but now she was feeling it come flooding back like the weight of a steam train.
Knowing what a long day Cloud Dancing had planned Michaela excused herself and made her way back to her room, and her bed.
Following the example set by Michaela Sully paid for their meal and followed suit. Walking up the corridor to their rooms Sully said goodnight to his brother, shut the door on the outside world and collapsed into a nice warm soft bed and willed sleep to come easily.
After a night filled with tossing and turning and nightmares both Sully and Michaela wondered how they were going to have the strength that would be needed to endure the upcoming days travelling.
However, neither had much time to find an answer as Cloud Dancing motioned for them to leave Washington and to begin the first leg of their journey into the unknown.
The End or is it
If you want to see what happened next then read on in Part 3 – The Reaffirmation