Chapter 74
They went on the ride several more times, along with revisits to the Indiana Jones ride and several other favorites, some of which required either Han or Leia to stay behind with Alden. Unfortunately they were required to report back to the Alliance as soon as possible, which greatly shortened their vacation. They were forced to make it a day trip, and as a result were harried in their attempts to fit everything in that they wanted to.
They decided to meet up with Chewie and Threepio for their midday meal (who knew what those two had been up to), and were surprised to see them sitting together at a large table surrounded by various memorabilia. They were both inspecting their items, and seemed a little bit too excited about their theme park purchases to be the real Chewie and Threepio.
"Whatcha got there, fuzzball?" Han asked as they moved toward the odd duo.
Chewie held up a plastic figurine about a meter tall, which bore a remarkable resemblance to the Wookiee.
Do I really look like this? he growled.
"Pretty much, buddy. So you went on the Tours ride, then?"
Chewie nodded.
"Pretty crazy, huh? But you already knew all about it, since you were part of the ride!"
I needed the money. The Alliance didn't even give me a medal for risking my fur, let alone a paycheck!
"Uh-huh, sure. And those modeling gigs you did weren't enough, were they? You just had to get more?"
Models are vastly underpaid. The photographers were lucky to escape with all their limbs.
"That's for sure."
"Captain Solo, I was quite unaware that they were using my prototype for a ride. I almost short-circuited when I saw myself in there," Threepio contended.
"And how would that have been a bad thing?"
"Why, Sir, if I had short-circuited surely I would not be able to function."
"I know," Han replied, grinning as he saw his Wookiee cohort guffawing at the droid's expense.
"Then why…?"
"Never mind, Threepio. Those two don't make sense to me either, sometimes," Leia soothed as she glowered at her unruly husband.
"Well, I must say I never…"
"Shut up, Goldenrod!" Han admonished.
"Han," Leia warned. "Be nice to Threepio, or I won't give you an award for being a good boy on this trip."
"Uh, sorry, Threepio. I was just teasing you. No hard feelings," Han stated rather quickly.
"That's better," Leia smiled, kissing him deeply. They were perfectly content to ignore their audience.
Chewbacca made a noise that suspiciously sounded like "ahem" and the couple was forced out of their daze
"There'll be more of that in your future if you behave, smarty pants," Leia whispered into Han's ear as she pulled away.
"Don't worry – I'm a good boy."
"If you say that you should keep a careful watch over your nose."
"What?"
"Nothing."
"What's wrong with my nose?"
"Absolutely nothing."
"Then why should I watch it?"
"No reason."
"C'mon – tell me!"
Leia began tending to Alden.
"I'll never understand this woman!" Han told his furry friend, throwing his arms up in defeat.
"Perhaps now you can understand the difficulties that plague me, Captain Solo," Threepio said hopefully, but Han was ignoring him as he watched his wife care for their son. A few moments later he was back at their side.
"Hey beautiful," Han said, kissing Leia's neck. He proceeded to bend down and kiss his son on the forehead. "Hey, handsome."
"What are you – bipolar?" Leia asked, arching an eyebrow.
"Can't a man admire his family in peace?"
"I suppose," Leia replied, making a show of being hesitant, but showed no resistance as her husband showered her with affectionate kisses across her face and neck.
Just moments after she spoke the words, however, a procession began down the street that virtually destroyed the peace of all the inhabitants of the park. A vibrant red landspeeder slowly glided down the street, adorned with a plethora of state-of-the-art sound projectors. A little girl sitting in the 'speeder, dressed in a rainbow of miss-matched colors, stood up on her seat and began to sing the most obnoxious song anyone in the crowd had ever heard. She wildly gesticulated, undoubtedly to emphasize the words of her song, but she ended up merely looking cheesy and unrealistic. Walking next to her were men and women dressed in flowery shirts, much like those favored by many of the patrons at the park, and they made swimming motions as they walked along and exuberantly sang along with the girl. She reached the chorus, and the sound of gritting teeth and fangs could be heard throughout the park.
"Help! I need a vacation, now it just can't wait. Help! I need a vacation to get my head on straight. School is cool but I gotta get loose, I'm tired of the same old grind! Help, I want it! Help, I need it! I'm going out of my mind!"
"Let's get out of here, huh?" Han pleaded.
"I'm with you," Leia agreed, grabbing Alden's supplies.
"…I can fly way up in the sky! I can go to the beach, take a little dip, and I can kiss my worries goodbye!"
The Solo family, Chewbacca, and Threepio dashed for the exit of the theme park. They had considered remaining in the park for a while longer; enjoying the peaceful atmosphere of the main street, but the girl was beyond what they could bear. Even the seasoned war veterans had their limits. As they swiftly headed down the street, however, Chewbacca growled to Han.
"What do you mean you want to hear the end of the song? You're joking, right?"
Chewbacca shook his head.
"Well, you can stay behind if you want, because I sure as hell don't want that song stuck in my head for the next ten years."
"Help! I need a vacation, now it just can't wait! Help, I need a vacation to get my head on straight. Tests and grades and a lot of homework, I'm tired of the same old grind! Help, I want it! Help, I need it! I'm going out of my mind!"
Chewbacca bared his fangs, but followed Han nonetheless. Even if the song was catchy, he didn't want to catch it completely.
So the family once again left Corellia Land, piled into the Falcon, and headed back to New Alderaan.
