EPOV
The distant sound of laughter and crackling wood pops behind the shed. It's mostly dark, but her fire red hair sticks out like a sore thumb among the natural beauty of the forest. Tall, deep trees loom and branches break under the feet of critters and wild animals. The only thing that lurks deep and dark in the forest in the middle of the night are beasts. I fit right in as I back Victoria up against the rough bark of a huge tree. She squats down and unzips my pants.
I hate her fucking hair.
Wild and red, while usually hot as fuck, are too much tonight. Jasper and I have been smoking blunts all day, ready for the weekend, ready to chill and relax and enjoy no long runs to Seattle for pick up or drop off. Because of this, I'm more faded than the bland, overcast sky tonight.
Normally I like to get my dick sucked while gazing at the stars, but sometimes, in the pacific northwest, that's not possible. Tonight's one of those nights where haze clouds not just my head but the sky, too.
"Get hard for me, baby," Vic drawls. I'll hand it to her, she can turn it up and, normally, turn me on, but not lately.
Not since I've been seeing a certain brown-haired crybaby a little more often than I'd like. Not since my best friend has been trying to dick down her best friend. Not since Jasper moved across the street from the one person who I can't fucking stand to look at.
Bella Swan is fucking everywhere, and I hate it. She's at school and in my classes. She's at the playground almost anytime I'm there. She's in the background of the phone when Alice calls Jasper. Sometimes, at night, when I'm outside on his porch smoking, I can see her through her cheap curtains as she washes dishes or folds laundry. She doesn't sleep normal hours, but who the fuck does on this side of the tracks.
Occasionally, she'll pause mid-cleaning and stare off. I know she can't see me since her curtains are drawn and I can only see her outline and shadow, but it makes me want to stub out my cigarette or roach and fucking leave. She's always been able to see right through me, so I figure a dirty old curtain isn't a huge protection. Some nights, when J passes out on the couch, I find myself on his stoop staring at her fucking house, reminded of the vat difference between who she was at seven and who she is at seventeen.
Our friendship ended so long ago that it doesn't even feel like it was ever real. One night over summer when Jasper first moved in with his mom, I was sitting on his step stoned as fuck. The front door of the house across the street flew open and some girl sprinted like mare in a race. There was commotion all fucking night—yelling, doors slamming, screams—but down here no one bats an eye. It's background music, white noise. Plus, I was so fucked up I didn't know which house it was coming from.
I knew she lived around here, but I didn't know the exact house until that night.
I followed her to the playground and watched from the alley as she fell to her knees on the mulch and heaved for an hour. Alright, maybe not an hour, but a long fucking time. Her brown hair swirled in the wind and when it started raining, she didn't turn around to go home like I did. She climbed into the covered tunnel in the jungle gym. I never saw he face, but I knew it was her. Even in my fucked up state, I could feel the electricity and anxiety radiating from her.
"Mmm, that's it," Vic moans as she tugs on my shaft.
I look down at Victoria as she takes the head of my dick in her mouth and wets it with her tongue. I know it'll be stained red from that fucking lipstick she wears.
"You like when I—"
I cut her off by taking either side of her head in my hands and shoving my dick as far down her throat as I can go. My dick pulses thinking about fucking anyone else's mouth, but Vic understands. She doesn't expect a lot. When I'm pent up and my balls are tight, I call her over to fuck. When her older stepbrother tries to fuck with her, she calls me over. It's an understanding most people don't get or know, but it's an understanding none the less. I think back to a few weeks ago when she let me fuck her and her cousin at the same time hoping the memory will help me bust. Vic chokes down my length and I guide her hand to the rest of my shaft she can't fit in her mouth. I like it rough and she's always more than willing, so I keep her head still and give it to her.
I can't be this fucked up guy with anyone else but her.
When I close my eyes, memories of her short cousin bouncing on my cock filter through my brain, strengthening the hard on Vic swallows.
I pull out of her throat and slap my dick on her chin.
"Fuck, Edward," she gasps, spit running down her neck. "You have the biggest cock I've ever seen."
It pisses me off that my balls tighten when she says it. I grit my teeth at my thoughts. I'm a sick fuck. No one deserves this. Why am I like this? I grew up in a normal, loving family… until I didn't. Memories of that summer wash in like a wave, and I grab the back of Victoria's head o numb the feeling. Her throat opens as I shove her down my length throat first.
The more I fuck her face, the tighter my balls get, and I squeeze my eyes to get wild red out of my sight and focus on the drag of her dry lips on my shaft. I have to work hard, and it pisses me off. Never before has shooting my load been an issue, and maybe it's time to hang Vic up to dry. The thought of breaking things off with her makes my dick pulse, so I grip her tangled hair and growl.
"Swallow it," I grunt, fucking her mouth, stilling silently as I empty my balls into her throat.
Victoria's wet eyes and satisfied grin greet me as I come back down. It wasn't the best cum of my life, but it'll suffice until I can find someone to replace her. I help her up and she straightens her low cut top. Victoria has never once asked me to reciprocate, and I don't even think I would if she asked.
I know, I'm a fucking monster.
I've seen her pussy. I've fucked her pussy. But I've never tasted her pussy.
"Thanks," I tell her, walking back to the party.
"You okay?" she asks.
"Fine."
It's an easy, go to response that means no but I don't want to talk about it.
Victoria is a good lay and that's all. She's not my friend. I'm not hers. We know this about each other. She helps me and I help her. It's a business transaction. The closer we get to the fence, the tighter the rope pulls in the pit of my stomach. I cant shake the feeling that something is off. I help Victoria through the fence wishing I could disappear behind the trees, find my way in the darkness, stumble home through the meadow, but I can't and I won't. Last time I came home faded, my dad took my car for two weeks.
Fucker.
Vic throws her arm around my waste and I place mine around her shoulders. Bystanders think we're a thing, a couple, but we're just a couple of fucked up kids. The thought of telling Vic we're through crosses my mind for half a second before it goes away.
Not tonight.
I stop by the cooler and pull out a bottle of beer. Jasper's mom's the nicest lady, but she's also a drunk who dances at The Beehive four days a week. She keeps the fridge stocked with bottled beer for her, her suitors, and her son's friends. She cooks dinner five nights a week, leaves money for pizza anytime J wants, and cry-apologizes once a month, when she's on a bender, for leaving him for the last four years. No one would know, but Jasper lived a pretty fucked life until he moved back in with his mom.
Jasper nods as he brings a glass pipe to his lips and inhales. He's seen his mom drunk too many times to ever want to do it himself, but it doesn't stop him from smoking more weed than anyone I've ever met, popping molly, or snorting a line or two at a house party.
Victoria stops abruptly and all but hisses. My gaze follows hers and there, on a turned over milk crate, is Bella Swan. The sigh of irritation that comes out is too audible and I regret it immediately. Of all the fucking places for her to be, it has to be here. She taunts me, she plans these rendezvous to make me suffer for all the times I called her names and teased her and fucking made her cry. Guess it's only fair.
Bella's presence causes reactivity, though—I can't be me when she's near. The hard edged, sharp tongued Edward comes out to play and I just wanted to sit in a chair and melt for the night. Immediately I'm on edge thinking about what to say to make her uncomfortable enough to leave.
"I thought you took the trash out, J?" I say before thinking.
Why the fuck did I say it? Why the fuck am I like this?
Bella rolls her eyes and crosses her pale arms over her chest. She's grown into her chubby belly and chunky thighs. When she was twelve, she was fat. Now that she's seventeen, she's voluptuous. She's no longer the ugly duckling or Chubella. Boys in our grade talk extensively about her tits, her ass, her round face. I take their word for it because she's a direction my compass doesn't point to.
Long hair blows in the wind, clear, bright eyes greet my ornery ones, and, wait, are her nipples hard? Quit looking, sick fuck. I just said my compass doesn't point her direction, but my dick is certainly stirring that way.
I pretend like Vic says something funny so I look down at her and laugh. Crazy red hair doesn't blow in the breeze the same as long brown hair, and I don't even care to look at Vic's nipples. I just need a distraction from Bella's eyes and my weird half a hard on.
I pop a squat next to Jasper, across from Bella, and watch as Jake feeds her more weed than she's had before… that I know of.
"What's he giving her?" I ask Jasper.
Between tokes he forces out, "Dove," and I nod in understanding.
The res has some fucked up strands of weed. Their supplier, a rival of ours, has run dry and started growing with some fucked up fertilizer to mass produce batches quickly. Jake sells for my supplier. He and a group of his grease head friends work under me and J, and not very well. Over the last four months, they've been short twice, and that shit doesn't fly in this industry. They're leash is so tight they can barely breathe which is why I'm surprised they're here. Generally, we don't mix business and pleasure—not that I'd ever call hanging with these creeps pleasure.
I hate Black and his fucked-up friends. Last I saw, Black was fucking Leah at a res party over the summer. And I mean I literally saw it. He and his friends like to do that creepy group shit… they call each other The Wolf Pack or something, I don't know. Shit's nasty and if I'm saying that, it must be really fucked up.
Jake, their ring leader, is better known as Bad Black for a reason… nothing good goes on around him.
Over the next hour, Bella's laugh screams in my head. It's light and bubbly and attracts the attention of Jake and his fuckhead friends, but I want to tear my ears off. Three and a half beers later, and I can finally feel absolutely nothing.
I'm talking to Jasper quietly about the next shipment and planning runs for the week when Jake leans over and kisses Bella brazenly. J watches my lips as I stumble over words, and Victoria scoffs. I don't think she's taken her eyes off of them for a second… could be because Vic and Jake used to fuck until he left her for Leah, but that didn't turn out so well.
"Boy you really get around, huh Bella?" Vic snears to my right.
Bella doesn't miss a beat. "Which one is it, Victoria? I'm either a whore or a virgin. I can't really be both."
"Aren't you with Mike?"
"Not that it's your business, but not anymore."
Surprise, surprise. Mike's reputation precedes him. Girls call him a minute man. He's nice enough, and I feel for him. We thought about bringing him on board, but J took pity and doesn't want to fuck up any chances of him getting into college on scholarship.
"Two boys in one night, though? I don't even do that." Victoria lies through her fucking overlined lips. "Better watch it Jake. Who knows what she has."
Bella stands and wobbles. I don't know how many hits she took, but it has her light on her feet.
"I'm going to head out," she says quietly. "Uhm," her fingers sort of curl around each other lightly, awkwardly, as she turns to Jasper and mumbles, "thanks."
Jasper gives a nod in acknowledgement. They have some weird fucking connection that I can't figure out.
Jake follows Bella around the side of the house, and they disappear into darkness. Finally, I can swallow the ball in my throat and relax.
"Are you always such a bitch?" J asks Vic, and I can't help the snort in my throat.
He's been in a fucking mood since dumping Alice, and my god is it annoying, but this is gold.
"Fuck off, Jasper," Vic says irritably.
"Lest you forget, Red, this is my house."
Jasper never liked Victoria, but he's never been this openly impatient with her. He's questioned my friendship with her, but always accepted the answer for what it was. Jasper's either really sick of her shit, befriending Bella, or in love with Alice. The latter two have me really fucking on edge.
Victoria huffs and turns to me for support but I don't support her, I fuck her. Maybe she needs to understand once and for all that my loyalty will always lie with Jasper. It takes her five good minutes of my silence to realize this, and the only thing I can think of are girls around time I can get to suck my dick just as fucking filthy as Vic does. I heard Irina does, but she's got the clap. Her sister Tanya's a freak, but only sucks cock for drugs. Jayne's a spitfire but likes to torture her hookups.
After Victoria storms off, it's just me, J, and the fucktards from the rez. I toss my bottle in the metal garbage can and stand to grab another from the cooler. When I turn to pop the top off the bottle, two dark figures, illuminated by moon and streetlamps that splash yellow light onto the ground, are pressed together against the side of the house. Half my beer is down my throat by the time I see his hand work it's way into her pants and when her head hits the dirty siding in pleasure, I tear the glass from my lips and toss my bottle at the house.
"Where's my money?" I ask Paul, pulling him up by the threads of his shirt.
"Edward, what?" he's taken aback and so am I.
I know he doesn't have the money. It's not due until tomorrow after their pickup, but I need the fight. I need to feel warm blood on my knuckles. So I lie.
"The fucking money you owe us from last time, Paul. Where the fuck is it?"
Paul does something that surprises me and throws the first punch. His hand connects with my jaw, but it's halfhearted and weak. My laugh is the only sound I hear before I see nothing. My fists pound flesh and bones and rip open the delicate, thin skin of his face. I almost feel bad. Almost.
"The fuck?" a voice calls over the commotion and tries to wrestle his friend free.
I do the stupidest thing I can and push him back. Jake stumbles and falls into Bella who crashes onto the floor and yelps. Jasper rushes over and pulls her up. Everyone freezes.
"You okay, Bella? Fuck, I'm so sorry," Jake says, taking her hand and pulling it close to the fire to see.
Blood pours and melts into the orange flames. Air heaves from my overstimulated, excessively angry lungs. Why the fuck am I like this? Metal permeates and I don't know if it comes from Paul or Bella.
"Call your dad," J says, picking glass from the cut seeping red.
Shit, it must be bad.
"No—" Bella starts but I turn my back. I can't even look at her right now.
He answers on the first ring.
"Everything okay, son?" His slightly panicked voice makes me uncomfortable. He deserves a better kid.
"Someone got hurt as Jasper's house. Her hand is cut open." I turn to look at the wound but not her. Never her. I grip her wrist to cut off blood flow and raise it above her heart. "Looks deep. Probably glass inside the cut. Might need stitches."
"No," she says, fighting to pull her wrist away from my grip. I think I maybe hear her wince, but I know if I give an inch, she'll run away.
"Try to stop the bleeding by gripping—"
"I'm not a fucking idiot, dad," I spit into the phone. He definitely deserves a better kid.
He sighs. "Bring her in. I'll get a room ready."
Jasper guides her to my car, and I toss my keys to him. He's in a much better position to drive than I am. I'm reminded of my poor decisions all over again. I don't stop to think what's wrong with me again as I climb in the back seat with Bella. Her shock and surprise colors her face. I don't have the time or the heart to realize my closeness disturbs her more than my physical aggression.
"Bella I'm so sorry," Jake says through the open window. He hangs his fingers on the glass window like a dog would its paws. My annoyance boils over.
"Fuck off, Black," I grit, leaning over. "And don't ever bring that kid around again or next time it'll be him going to the hospital." Jake nods in understanding.
Jasper drives the short distance to the hospital, and Bella breathes shallowly. I want to tell her to quit being a baby, but her anxiety presents differently than mine and I try remember that. I drop my hand from her wrist and wordlessly instruct her to use her free hand to take over. Now that I have nothing to keep me occupied, my thoughts race, and I find my lip between my teeth and the taste of copper-blood on my tongue.
Tonight was a shit show, and I think back to the trigger. Jasper was smoking a bowl. Vic was being a cunt. Jake's fucking friends were talking quietly, secretly. I downed a beer in almost three gulps. Jake had Bella pinned against the house. Jake had Bella's lips on his. Jake's hand was inside her pants. Bella's wrist was gripping—
"Hey," I call suddenly, irrationally angry again. Nothing. "Hey!"
"Huh?" she mumbles.
"Stay awake."
"So tired," she says, laying her head against the window.
"Roll down the window, J," I say, leaning to check Bella's head. I'm not sure the extent of her injuries, but she fell on glass and who knows if she hit her head on anything. My dad's a doctor, so he's taught me all safety measures just in case.
"Get off of me," she fights, pushing me back and away.
Her finger goes to roll up the window, but Jasper locked it so she can't. Smart dude, always two steps ahead.
"I'm not on you," I tell her but I pretty much am. The swell of her curves push into my thighs, and I can smell the skunky weed in her long hair as it whips around us.
At one point, her hair swirls around the back seat and clings to my neck, but I don't move it. Bella's had long hair since she was a teenager, something she grew out after her mom died. I can recall all the moments she ran barefoot from her mom, off the porch and into the grass, so her mom wouldn't braid it.
She was a wild child then and is a wounded child now. The thought sticks to my mouth like cotton, soaking up every bit of moisture until I'm too uncomfortable to breathe through my nose. Forty mile an hour wind drowns out the gasp from my mouth as I force it open.
I scoot over, giving her the distance we both need. Our skin peels apart and the electric current stops. It doesn't feel good or bad, but I hate to admit that I felt.
At the hospital, dad waits in the empty lobby with an old nurse and a wheel chair.
"Son," he says accusatorily.
It's my fault. Last month I told him with the start of school I'd knock my shit off and buckle down but I haven't yet. I'm disappointed in me too, but that's a feeling I've grown to accept.
"Bella?" he says in his next breath. An exciting turning of events in pop's boring, small town life. The daughter he always wanted has returned in worse shape than I left her.
"Hi, Dr. Cullen," she says smally, sitting in the wheelchair he gestures toward.
They excuse themselves, and Jasper goes to sit in the uncomfortable wooden waiting chairs. After half an hour and a cup of coffee later, I'm pacing like an animal in a zoo.
"Dude, chill the fuck out," Jasper warns. "You're making me nervous."
"I'm not nervous," I tell him, spitting him a glare from the side.
"It's just a cut on her hand. Probably doesn't even need stitches."
I taste his words until my dad walks through the wide, white doors to the lobby. I feel guilty, I think. A rock plummets into my stomach, landing uncomfortably. I'd feel this way if it happened to anyone, not just Bella. I'd feel this way if it was Vic, or Jasper, or maybe even Jake.
I don't believe my own lie, but I say it over and over and over again.
"Nine stitches in her palm. She still had glass in there. Good thing you boys brought her in. She'd have made it worse taking it out herself," my dad explains but there's something he's not saying.
"Is she ready to go?" I ask.
"Not quite. She was rubbing her head and I saw blood. She doesn't remember hitting it, so I ordered a scan to be sure. Do you have her dad's number? I called the last number saved on file and-"
"Yeah, we'll call him," Jasper answers.
My dad nods like he believes Jasper, and he probably does. We don't have his number, and even if we did, we wouldn't call. I'm not a complete idiot—I do know Bella's life hasn't been the best since her mom died, but whose life is fucking rainbows and glitter? All these myserious bruises, scrapes, cuts on her body can't all be from her clumsy ass, but I never put more thought into it because the idea that her dad—
"I gotta piss," Jasper says pulling me from my thoughts.
It's an hour later and still nothing. My leg bounces quicker every time someone steps through the lobby doors and it's not my dad.
"The fuck could be taking them so long?" I whisper to myself, next to a passed-out Jasper. The tapping of my Vans against linoleum squeaks and wakes up Jasper.
Irritably, he shoulder checks me and mutters, "I need a smoke," but neither of us make move to leave.
Another twenty minutes tick by before they arrive. Bella's brown hair, braided down the side, looks damp near her nape, and a sterile white sweatshirt hugs her hips and breasts. My only options to look at are her braless nipples or her eyes, so I choose her eyes.
My dad clears his throat. "Edward, she needs to be back in fourteen days to get her stitches out. Can I trust you'll bring her?"
"I can ride my bike," she explains.
"No, you cannot. No exercising, no gripping, no trauma at all to that hand or you'll rip a stitch, Bella."
"I'll have Alice bring me after school—" she starts.
"I can do it," I mutter.
"No, really, Alice—"
"I said I'll fucking do it," I snap in finality.
"Son," dad warns lowly. I meet his soft gaze and hate him in this moment. Golden brown eyes warm my icy blues and the chill that slithers down my tired body. "If it's easier for… whomever… I can take the stitches out in my office at home, Bella."
"Okay," she grumbles quietly.
Jasper offers a hand to Bella but she doesn't take it. I'm not surprised. When we turn to leave, my dad grabs my arm.
"A word?"
He walks behind the corner and nearest to the door leading to curtained rooms.
"Yeah?" I ask, watching as Jasper and Bella walk outside.
"You didn't say she bashed her head, Edward. What happened? That kind of injury—"
I cut him off. "I didn't know she did—"
"What was she even doing with you?"
I chew on my tongue and purse my lips. Good fucking question dad.
"That girl has been through enough, Edward. Do not involve her in your—"
My eyes shoot daggers into his neck. "I'll take the princess back to her castle and fucking leave her there."
I make sure to bump into him when I storm off.
