AN: Hello readers! I have returned with yet another chapter where the long awaited confrontation within the Railgang occurs regarding the events of Project WaveInflux.
This small mini plotline of sorts won't last longer than 2 chapters so don't worry, meaning Big Spider will possibly start around Chapter 37-38, as I'm pretty sure the Swimsuit episode will be written after these events as a small break from all the heavy and depressing stuff seen within these last few chapters.
Welp other than that, I hope you enjoy this chapter!
As always, please leave a review on anything you liked, think I should work on, or just any questions in general! I enjoy reading them and I will answer them at the end of the next chapter:)
Disclaimer: I do not own A Certain Scientific Railgun/Magical Index or any of its characters...the only things I own are:
1. My characters and
2. my ideas
Chapter 34: We Know
Misaka opened her eyes and found herself in an area of the 7th District that she recognized right away, already feeling her heart accelerating from its familiarity. All she had to see was the collapsed building and the metal she used to protect herself that day to know where she was, already feeling her hands shaking in anticipation for what her mind had in store for her this time as it hadn't happened in such a way for a while now.
When she walked a few steps forward and began looking around, she looked in one particular spot and felt her eyes widen even further, seeing the still body of her best friend from a little ways from her with smoke rising up from her prone form.
Even though some part of her knew that this wasn't real, the larger part of her made her run up to the girl on instinct, going up and already rolling her onto her back as she heard the girl struggling to breath below her.
"H-H…Help…So-Somebody please…h-help…M-Me…" She heard her strain, before coughing through her rushed pants so hard it caused blood to fall onto the ground beside her.
"Hey, Zierdan!" Misaka said as she cupped the sides of her face, feeling her panic rising every passing moment from feeling how erratic her heartbeat was as she began to fall unconscious. "You're going to be okay alright? You just have to stay with me an-and everything is going to be fine."
Even though she was telling that to Asher in that moment, it was almost like that phrase was more to keep herself calm, feeling her hands struggling to open up her Tokiwadai uniform.
"M-MK?" Asher strained as tears began to fall from her eyes. "M-Mikoto…pl-please…ma-make it stop….M-Make the pain st-stop h-hurting….My c-chest f-feels….f-feels…"
She couldn't finish her statement as more coughs rose from her throat, soiling the ground even further in blood that grew to be alarming.
"I know, Z, but you need to stop talking. Keep up your strength and I'm going to do whatever I can to help you, I swear!"
'Her organs must be shutting down and her body must be going into shock because of it,' Misaka thought as she bit the side of cheek.
'I should've known or…told her that my electricity could do this…That it could cause her body to basically shutdown that day.' She heard echo off the invisible walls, hearing something that she had thought numerous times in her life.
'She's suffering...'
'Dying an-and…'
'It's all my fault because I was the one who did this to her.'
'She's going to die and I'm going to be the one who killed her!'
Misaka let out a wince from hearing these voices, clutching on the side of her head as they didn't allow her to think straight.
"N-No…stop this." Misaka said as she closed her eyes as the image of Asher below her faded away into a haze. "Thi-This isn't real. Because Zierdan is alright….sh-she survived that day. I was able to save her."
"That's what you've been telling yourself, Railgun? That you were able to 'help' her?" she heard off from the side, looking over and seeing the image of Silas basically laughing in her face. "Ahahahah! How could you say that when you were the last piece of the puzzle I needed in order for her to do this? If you hadn't existed or became her friend, she would have been fine and happy in this life and would have never needed you to any extent."
Misaka's eyes flashed open as electricity stormed into her fingertips.
"SHUT UP!" She yelled as she turned and shot it right at him.
But right as it left her fingertips, her eyes widened in horror when it changed to Asher upon impact, hearing her let out a shout of pain that stopped as quickly as it came and seeing her fly across the room and hit a steel fence. When she crashed to the floor, she laid there about as lifeless as she had almost a week before, causing her hand to shake as she instinctively reached out towards her.
It took all of her willpower to force herself not to go over there, though, grabbing onto her forearm with her other hand that was trembling tremendously.
"I-It's not real Mikoto." She said to herself as she closed her eyes. "You're just dreaming. All of this isn't real. She's alright. And you're alright. "
"Do you really think that's true Mikoto? That's I'm 'alright?' I may be alright in your twisted sense of self preservation, but we both know how illogical it is for you to believe, considering you're the very person of why I'm like this in the first place."
When Misaka heard the esper's voice, she didn't even try to turn around or respond, putting her hands over her ears in a small effort to muffle the sound.
"Oh, you're using your energy to try to ignore me?" Asher asked as she began to walk closer. "It's not surprising since you hardly care about what I think anyway. You use as much as it is to try and stop yourself from even thinking about what you did to me. The pitiful state that you left me in that I still have yet to recover from."
Misaka curled in on herself even more in response, as Asher's form got close enough to basically be right in her face.
"Do you know how hard it is for me to hate myself for nearly killing you, but see that you hardly even care that you basically killed me?" Asher asked almost in desperation. "Do you understand or see how much I struggle just keeping myself sane from what happened as you go on life living like it never DID!? Just putting on a strong facade every freaking day as a way to help, when it only makes me feel even more alone in this miserable life that you didn't allow me to escape from!"
"You've probably noticed haven't you!? How hard it is for me to do what you do and pretend that NOTHING happened! Whenever I'm even reminded just the smallest bit, it's almost like I fall apart into tiny pieces that somehow always goes back together again and again and AGAIN. I hardly eat…Hardly sleep and can hardly THINK whenever that happens, trapped by my own thoughts from the damn noise of this world! And it's all because of you and your selfish desire of keeping me alive to not feel bad about yourself! To not feel bad that you weren't paying attention or knew that your best friend was constantly suffering for your sake!"
Misaka felt her legs go weak as she collapsed onto the ground, hugging herself as tears of frustration and guilt fell from her eyes.
She knew that this wasn't her Asher, knowing that the girl would probably never say these things to her so openly and direct no matter how blunt she was.
But…
This was her mental image of her in her nightmares, believing that she was the very reason for all her hardships. If she had known or at least did something to stop her from participating in Project WaveInflux, she would be fine and not have to deal with everything she deals with day in and day out.
"And you! You're the worst of all by allowing this to happen! If she had never met you, she wouldn't have even wanted to do this! But then again when she did, you should've known from the beginning that something was wrong, but you didn't…you never ever did! You failed her!" She heard bounce off the wall, combining with the tons and tons of voices shouting off inside of her head as she curled more and more into herself.
"I-I know I did." Misaka simply stated tearfully." I sh-should've known…Or at l-least did something before i-it was too late. I'm sorry. I'm sorry Zierdan that I was so blind and stupid!"
As the voices kept pressing further and further into Misaka's pride, they slowly began to fade after she felt something hug around her form, feeling her dragged down into a more peaceful sleep from the gesture itself.
'Wait…th-that feels like,' she thought as she closed her eyes, automatically leaning into the comforting embrace from behind her.
She didn't have time to finish that thought as the area fell into complete darkness.
July 25th, 10:00AM
Tokiwadai Dormitory
A couple hours passed when Misaka finally woke up from her slumber, groggily opening her eyes as she let out a small yawn. She was about to raise up and move in her bed before she noticed someone lightly holding her hand, seeing her vision clear a little bit more to see Asher sleeping right in front of her and softly grasping it.
Instead of being shocked or surprised, a small smile grew on her face. Around 1 or 2 in the morning, Asher had come to her room to see if she could sleep in here with her since she had been having a hard time trying to fall asleep after she had left a couple hours before. Misaka accepted it considering she was having a hard time going to sleep as well, having her hop in the bed with her so that Shirai's could be open for her when she returned to the dorm.
They talked for a while before they both fell asleep around the same time from the exhaustion of the fight with Kiyama and AIM Burst finally catching up to them enough that they couldn't ignore it for much longer.
As she sat there for a while, her face fell slightly as her mind was drawn to her nightmare from before, biting down on the side of her cheek as she let out an irritated sigh.
Why is that still happening after all these years? Misaka thought, reaching out and gently touching Asher's neck to feel her pulse. Asher moaned softly upon contact, which prompted her to pull back, waiting for a couple seconds as she stirred slightly before going back to sleep.
When she reached out again, it was strong and slow underneath her fingertips, feeling some sort of relief rise in her system for some reason or another from how relaxed she seemed to be, in contrast to how she was when she last saw her within her mind.
["You've probably noticed haven't you!? How hard it is for me to do what you do and pretend that NOTHING happened! Whenever I'm even reminded just the smallest bit, it's almost like I fall apart into tiny pieces that somehow always goes back together again and again and AGAIN. I hardly eat…Hardly sleep and can hardly THINK whenever that happens, trapped by my own thoughts from the damn noise of this world! And it's all because of you and your selfish desire of keeping me alive to not feel bad about yourself! To not feel bad that you weren't paying attention or knew that your best friend was constantly suffering for your sake!"]
Even if it was something my head came up with, could there be a chance that she really feels that way?" Misaka thought as a small shadow fell on her solemn face.
She was so enthralled in these thoughts that she didn't notice Asher beginning to wake up, with the girl herself somewhat confused on seeing such an expression on the Electromaster's features.
"Hey, um is there something wrong?" Asher asked, seeing a flash of surprise immediately light up Misaka's face.
"O-Oh good morning. And no, I'm okay." Misaka said with a smile. "I didn't mean to wake you if I did."
Asher didn't respond to that at all and only narrowed her eyes, making Misaka somewhat nervous before she let out a sigh.
"I hate it when you do this." Asher said under her breath, raising up to a sitting position. "It's illogical for you to think that smile of yours is going to work all the time to deter me from asking why it's fake. And I don't have all that much energy to entertain it after yesterday."
"What do you mean by-"
"You know exactly what I mean, Mikoto, so don't you even dare try to finish that sentence." Asher stated sternly, causing Misaka stop in her tracks. "I come in here thinking that I'm the one who couldn't sleep, only to end up seeing and feeling you toss and turn literally every 5 minutes. Whimpering every passing moment as if you were stuck in some type of nightmare, which…is something that only usually happens when you're reminded about that day if you know what I mean."
Misaka's eyes widened before she let out a small laugh mostly towards herself as she sat up, looking down at her lap where her hands were still trembling ever so slightly.
"I'm fine, Z, really." Misaka reassured, as her eyes fell slightly. "It doesn't happen all that often anymore anyway, with this random chance coming out of nowhere to where I wasn't prepared for it. I guess all this stress with the Level Upper and Silas finally got to me somehow. But again, it isn't anything for you to worry about."
Hoping she would take it, Misaka attempted to rise up from her bed before feeling a soft but strong hand prevent her from doing so, looking over and seeing a mixture of concern and stress on Asher's normally stoic face.
"You know, you can confide to me with stuff like this right?" Asher asked as a small blush lit up her face. "I get what you're doing but pushing your issues to the side to spare me from getting upset or remembering something isn't all that fair for you to have to do for me at all. I know I probably have the most issues out of the both of us but…I don't like how one sided this always feels. You always try to convince me to tell you what's bothering me and help me probably each and every time but…every time when I try to do the same for you, it's almost like you don't want me to or…think I can even do it because it may stress me out somehow, which is disheartening I guess is the word to some extent if that's actually the case."
Misaka looked over at her for a few moments as silence fell between them, sitting back down after a while after she let out a sigh.
"I'm sorry. That wasn't ever my intention to make you feel that way. It's just honestly something I've done for a pretty long time that I almost don't even notice it anymore." Misaka explained. "It was all I could when you fell into that coma or were dealing with your amnesia to keep me going and not end up curled in some corner by myself from my frustration, stress, and underlying sadness for the entire situation. That wouldn't have helped you at all, so there was no way I was going to allow it to happen. I guess nowadays, I forget that I don't have to as much anymore since it feels so natural for me to."
A genuine smile came onto her features as she lightly punched Asher in the arm, seeing her look over at her with a look of surprise on her face.
"And how could I ever pass up the opportunity of seeing you allow yourself be affectionate or as what Saten perfectly described yesterday, "sappy", considering you both hugged and held my hand when I was asleep probably the entire time this morning in concern for me."
Asher's face heated up even more as the blush nearly reached the bottom of her neck. "You h-have no proof that I did that." She stuttered. "And even if I did, it's not like it's as significant as you're trying to make it be."
"Uh-huh, right." Misaka said with a giggle. "Whatever you say or think, I will always see value in anything you do, no matter how much it embarrasses that modest heart of yours."
Asher was sent into silence, not trusting herself to say a single word without some type of stutter from how hot her face was getting.
It hasn't even gotten to the afternoon and my face is already being illogical, she thought as she deflated slightly, almost picturing a raincloud appearing over her head in the process.
Misaka laughed again at this before looking over in some surprise at Shirai's empty bed, just noticing then that nearly everything over there looked to be the same as if she had never came back to the dorm.
"Hey Z, do you remember Kuroko ever coming back last night?" She asked, looking over and seeing Asher shake her head.
"I don't think so." Asher replied. "Her teleports are pretty jarring enough to my senses that I can't ever block them out. I would have at least felt something if she came, even if I was asleep."
"That's kind of weird." Misaka said mostly to herself as she grabbed her phone, seeing nothing in her message inbox from the teleporter. "She usually at least tells me what's holding her up so long if she doesn't come back to sleep here. Do you think something may have happened to her on her way back?"
"No, I don't think so." Asher sighed. "For how perverse she is, she's illogically quite durable and disciplined when it comes to her job. She probably just got too focused on something to not notice how much time had passed."
"Yeah probably." Misaka said under her breath, sending the teleporter a text just to see how everything was going with the investigation on the Level Upper that she had told them last night that she was helping wrap up.
I don't know why but, she thought as her eyes narrowed slightly.
I just got this really bad feeling all of the sudden…
One hour later…
Judgment 177th Branch Office
It didn't take long for Shirai to text Misaka back, though what they saw was somewhat strange as it was short and pretty vague at the same time. Instead of a usually affectionate response from the teleporter, all she let on was that she needed to meet up with them at the Judgment office and not much else. Not even a good morning was even attempted through the implication of her words, sending some alarm bells even in Asher's head as she was familiar with this side of Shirai from how many disagreements they usually have between each other day in and day out.
After a while, though, it was Misaka's turn to try and derail their concern as they arrived at the door of the Judgment Office.
"I think we're reading too much into this whole thing, Z." Misaka said. "If there was something wrong, she would be the first person in line to try and tell us."
Asher nodded at that, agreeing to that statement. Yes, she may be pretty passive-aggressive at times, but she was about as blunt and direct with her wording almost to the extent that Asher was on the daily.
As they entered the office, Misaka already wore a smile on her face as she opened the door wide open.
"We're here!" Misaka announced as Asher sent a smile their way.
When they didn't receive anything back and saw how serious Shirai's, Saten's, and Uiharu's faces were, it dropped their moods back to how they were before they came in here, feeling some level of confusion and concern seep into their souls.
Misaka tried to ignore it as she saw them or at least Saten and Uiharu send them back a wave, but Asher couldn't help but feel anxious. Not even a day had really passed since the last time they saw each other, meaning logically to her there was no reason for them to act almost as if they were forcing themselves to try to be genuine to some extent.
Shirai didn't take long to confirm her suspicions, looking at both her and Misaka with an expression that border lined irritation and anger.
"There's something that we have to discuss with the both of you." Shirai remarked with upmost seriousness in her tone.
"Oh, really now?" Misaka asked as she sat down and crossed her legs. "If I had to guess, it probably involves something relating to Dr. Kiyama. Is she-"
"No, that is nowhere close to what this is about." Shirai interjected, stopping the Electromaster from speaking any further. "This is just about you and Zierdan. Dr. Kiyama may have something to do with some of the matter after the fact, but to say she's the reason why the both of you are here isn't right at all."
As some semblance of confusion came over Misaka's face, Saten and Uiharu looked over at the gravity esper who still hadn't moved from her spot at the door, looking back at each other with worried looks.
"Hey, Asher?" Saten called out as she forced a small smile to come on her face. "You should come over here and sit with us,"
Asher thought on it for a few moments before shaking her head, resting a hand on the back of her neck as she leaned onto the wall behind her.
"I'm doing just fine over here." Asher stated, sending a stoic look over in their direction. "I don't think I have enough energy to waste getting lectured by the pervert in between you."
"Or, you're just unable to get yourself to do common courtesy in any social situation, even if you're surrounded by the people who are supposed to be your friends." Shirai added before Saten or even Uiharu could respond or stop her from doing so.
Asher's eyes narrowed at that as some sort of irritation sparked into her system. "What is that supposed to mean, Kuroko?"
"Ohhhh! It's nothing!" Uiharu said as she nudged the teleporter with her elbow. "She was just messing with you. Right Shirai?"
"Nope, not at all." Shirai pressed, sending a cold stare in Asher's direction as she rose up to her feet. "I am being completely serious in that regard so there's no point in trying to lie about it. Her flawed logic makes it to where she can't even trust to allows us to get some understanding behind it."
Asher's mouth ran a thin line from hearing that as a shadow came onto her face. "I don't even know what I did for you to result using such illogical tactics to go around the problem you have with me that you somehow expect me to know." She retorted. "I don't have any energy to even try to entertain it right now, so I'd suggest at least finding that one practically nonexistent piece of logic in your head and rethink how you want to say whatever it is."
"Hey, don't you two even start!" Misaka said as she walked in between them to get in their line of sight. "Let's actually try to have a civil discussion here before the both of you start arguing with each other."
"And even if she could have said it in a nicer way, Shirai, Asher is right. Like we discussed earlier, you shouldn't opt to doing what you're doing right now and basically make Asher angry before we even started. How helpful do you think it's going to be if it ends up pushing Asher to leave without saying a word on what we want to know?" Saten rationalized.
Shirai only answered by letting out an annoyed sigh, sitting down on the couch with her arms crossed as Misaka went over to Asher and laid a calm hand on her shoulder.
The Electromaster didn't even have to say anything for Asher to know what she wanted her to do. She let out a sigh as she allowed her to lead her over to sit down on the couch in front of their friends, looking over at them with somewhat anxious looks as the tension rose even higher in the air.
"Now, what is it that you want to talk to us about?" Misaka asked.
A silence fell between them as Saten, Uiharu, and even Shirai were looking at each other to see who would go first, with Uiharu leading the charge as she tried her best to keep her voice steady as she brought out her computer.
"Before I was taken hostage by Dr. Kiyama in her office, I came across a file that I hadn't expected to see that she allowed me to keep." Uiharu remarked.
"She brought it to my and Shirai's attention to look over with her here last night, since…we knew that it involved the both of you in some way. Something that happened sometime about 2 years ago." Saten explained.
It was almost like electricity surged inside of both Misaka and Asher at around the same time as they both arrived at the same conclusion on what they were referring to. They both tried their best to not let this on in order to not jump to any conclusions as they could have been wrong.
But…
That all went away in about an instant when Shirai leaned forward and turned the computer around for them to see, causing both of the Level 5s to stiffen and grow pale by the second from the words they saw on the screen.
"We know, Sissy and Zierdan," Shirai stated as her face fell slightly.
"We know…About Project WaveInflux."
About 30 minutes later…
After they basically laid out everything on the table in front of them about everything they knew relating to this matter, Asher and Misaka grew to be eerily silent as they had yet to say a single word since they revealed the one thing they had never expected it to be.
Misaka was left in the rare position of being speechless as she had no clue what to say while Asher was using all of her energy to keep up her stoic face as she internally panicked inside as this nearly mirrored the confrontation that occurred between her and Misaka years prior.
["You lied…." Misaka said as Asher stiffened in shock. "You've been lying straight to my face for weeks now…you've been telling me that you're fine and nothing is wrong with you when there are numerous signs of proving otherwise! So, I want you to come clean and stop hiding whatever it is from me!"]
Damn it… she thought as her clenched her hands slightly, lowering her head to keep her face hidden from their view.
I finally found other people that wanted to be around me other than Mikoto.
That genuinely care and appreciate my presence without any bias as to why they should or shouldn't. I finally began to allow myself to trust and grow comfortable around them.
But now after all of that…
After I finally let my guard down.
They go on and dig into the one place they had no right looking in and blame both me and Mikoto for not telling them when it was all my fault in the first place.
She didn't know why or know how to explain why she felt so hurt and betrayed by the girls in front of her. Just the thought that they did this behind both her and Misaka's back just seemed so illogical and just…upsetting.
She already knew how this was probably going to play out as it had many times before from the information that they had because all they were going to try and understand was what they knew on the surface, not any deeper than that because there was no possible chance that could happen if they hadn't lived it like she or Misaka had without doubting its legitimacy.
There were only a select few that fell into the other category, something she wanted but knew it would be too good to be true that they would from the current expressions on their faces that she had grown acquainted from seeing day in and day out from other people.
Knowing that they would probably never be able to bring themselves to talk as casually as they had with her before this moment.
So, after a while, she rose up to her feet and began to walk towards the door to leave, only to stop just as she sensed someone teleport directly behind her.
"Where are you going?" Shirai asked as she tightly grasped Asher's wrist. "We're aren't finished yet!"
Asher let out a sigh. "I'd say we are. You've already explained what you needed us for, logically meaning you've already fulfilled the parameters you set for this meeting of sorts in my eyes. If that's not the case, then what is it that you need from me specifically now even though that document already has what you wanted to know that you didn't even try to come to me about beforehand?" She questioned stoically before she was forcefully turned around as Shirai gripped the front of her collar tightly.
"Well one thing you can start by is telling us why you and Sissy hid this from us!?" Shirai yelled. "How many times do we need to remind you to come to us about things like this!?"
Saten and Uiharu moved to try to pull Shirai off of Asher but stopped when they saw the girl raise her hand in their direction.
"Well first things first, MK has no fault in this, so you shouldn't blame her for just doing what I asked her to do." Asher began as she saw Misaka rise up to her feet out of the corner of her eye.
"But Z that isn't-"
"And second," She continued, ignoring Misaka's words entirely. "I saw no value in telling you 3 this as I was not obligated or should feel inclined to tell you about something that occurred before I even met any of you. It would have been insignificant and brought nothing to any of our conversations. So, I honestly don't understand why you're getting so worked up about it like this Kuroko."
"Don't you dare give me that Zierdan! You know full well why I'm bringing this to your attention!" Shirai said angrily as she aggressively jabbed a finger into her chest. "You're supposed to trust us with these kinds of things! Not keep them to yourself! Stop trying to hide behind that stoic face all the time and actually allow yourself to show us what you're really feeling!"
Silence fell in the room before everyone's face fell in surprise as Asher let out a laugh, growing progressively louder overtime. Misaka's face faded more into concern from hearing nothing really backing it as if it was more out of disbelief or some sort of sadness versus amusement.
"Don't you think it's a little hypocritical of you to ask someone to stop hiding something when you yourself hid something from me until now?" Asher asked before laughing a little under her breath a little bit more. "Oh, and also, how would you have even wanted me to start a conversation like this: 'Hey guys, for about 2 years of my life I underwent an incredibly damaging experiment that nearly led to the destruction of your lives and the city?' Social interactions may be above me, but I know at least something like that wouldn't keep you around as it had with others who knew about the document or heard about the event you believe you understand."
Asher walked out of her hold and went towards the door again as Shirai's face grew red with irritation for the girl's refusal to admit that she was wrong from keeping this from them. She stomped towards her as she grabbed her arm tightly, preparing to teleport her to the other side of the room to disable her enough with her motion sickness to prevent her from leaving.
"It seems you've left me no choice!" Shirai remarked as she engaged her ability.
When she appeared back at the couch with the others, her eyes widened in surprise when she saw Asher still standing in the same spot, looking down at her own hand that was currently empty.
"But how?" She said mostly to herself. "You should've…"
"It seems you forget, Kuroko, that I'm the Level 5 known for her incredible hold over the dimensional space around me within any space that I think to create for myself with my dimensions." Asher stated, looking over at her as her eyes flashed purple, uncloaking her dimensions for everyone to see them. Every wall within the office grew to be the same color. "I already had a feeling you were going to do something like that, so I was prepared to stop it from happening."
As she tried to leave once more, she was pulled gently back when someone grabbed her hand. She felt her anger spike when she thought it was Shirai again, turning back with a glare before her eyes met with Saten's as she curled her fingertips in between her own.
"Please don't leave like this, Asher." Saten pleaded as she tightened her hold on her hand. "I know that what we did upset you, but we just wanted show you that you don't have to hide what you're feeling for our sake anymore. I know that it maybe doesn't look like it, but Shirai is just as concerned about you as we are. She just wants you to stop hiding or internalizing your pain, which we know probably mainly stems from this if you're trying so hard to keep us from knowing about it. All we want…"
"Is to be able to fully understand what happened to you."
Asher's eyes widened at that before she looked away from her. She sat there and contemplated that idea for a while before letting out a sigh, gently taking her hand out of Saten's hold as hurt filled her eyes.
"I know that's what all of you are trying to do, but I've been through this enough times before to know how nearly impossible it is." Asher remarked as her face went downcast. "I'm envied, hated, reviled, and dangerous in the eyes of most of this city because of what happened that day. Barely anyone actually wants to know the reasons behind why it happened, only digging through what happened and already discrediting whatever I want to say. Yes, those words on those research notes may be true, and…I really did want to destroy everything and everyone in this city…but there is more to it than that and it's always hard for me to recount or explain that being the case for so many reasons."
She walked and stood inside of the doorway, putting her trembling hands into her pockets as she looked towards the ground.
"Just…stop trying to understand me. It will only lead you to constantly pitying me, worrying over me, or…just dissenting my existence entirely. I'm not worth that much for the each of you to do this, because what happened shouldn't mean anything to any of you. I'm the one who screwed up my life and will never be able to live without that hanging over my head. So just do like everyone else does and just try to forget that I exist. Don't allow yourselves to be hurt for my sake." She continued, looking over her shoulder with a stoic expression on her face. "All I am to most people is an emotionless person who has little regard for anyone's feelings which must actually be accurate to some extent from how many times I hear it. Logically meaning that someone like me should have…no one that trusts them and wants them in their lives."
"Asher wait!/ Zierdan wait!" Saten, Uiharu, and Shirai shouted as she closed the door behind her.
When they got to the door just a few seconds later, they looked out and were shocked to see that the hallway was already empty as if she wasn't there.
"She's gone." Misaka called out.
"Where did she go, Sissy?" Shirai asked as she teleported in front of her.
Misaka closed her eyes for a couple moments before she shook her head. "I don't know. I can't sense her anywhere, meaning she's probably limiting her ability enough that my radar can't pick it up."
"Asher can do that?" Uiharu asked, seeing Misaka solemn expression.
"Yeah meaning she's actually trying to hide this time. We both may be able to sense each other pretty well, but unlike her, I unconsciously filter everything that is around me and can't ignore anything all that much. She's using that to her advantage by lessening how much her gravitons affect the electromagnetic waves in the air. And because of that, I can't distinguish where she could possibly be."
She turned to Shirai and without any warning, slammed a hard first into her head as she fell down to the ground with steam rising up from it.
"Owwww…" Shirai said in a daze. "What did I do to even deserve that?"
"That is for you and Zierdan's stubbornness to never try to actually communicate with each other before resorting to an argument." Misaka said as her eyebrow twitched. "Don't worry, I won't leave Zierdan out even though you were the one who put the most gasoline and oil to the fire first."
"Anyway," She continued as her head bowed forward ever so slightly as she sat back down onto the couch. "I'm sorry about this, on both my and Z's behalf. We never meant to upset all of you by hiding this whole thing from you guys. It's just…"
Misaka trailed off as she clasped both her hands in front of her, trying her best to keep them from visibly shaking.
"You don't have to force yourself to talk about this alone, Misaka." Saten said as she laid a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "I bet this was about as hard on you as it was on Asher."
"Yeah it was hard. But Z has dealt with more things in comparison to me. Even if has been 2 years, she is still having a very hard time moving past all of it. And all because of that heartless stepfather of hers."
"From the notes that he took, we could tell from a mile away that he probably was the one who manipulated Zierdan into doing his trials by any means necessary, even when his funding was cut when the experiment was canceled." Shirai stated. "The latest dated one seems to be either the day of or before the day he pushed for the Level 6 shift attempt. It was dated on October 14th."
"Then that would mean it was the day of. The copy that I acquired for myself at that time was dated October 13th." Misaka replied. "He must have made that one during the span of time she was unconscious and kept captive by him to prepare for what he wanted to do to her. Something that ended with so many ramifications that I probably couldn't count them all with both of my hands."
This sparked something to appear in Uiharu head when she said that, remembering some of Kiyama's words that she left her with before the main events of yesterday.
[If it hadn't been for Railgun's efforts to stop her heart from going into cardiac arrest, that girl would have probably died before she received any aid. And that isn't even including what happened thereafter because of it…"]
She had already told her that she had fell into a coma due to the amount of strain that her body had endured. But other than that, what else happened that was even worse than that? Her curiosity wasn't able to prevent her from speaking up about it, looking over at Misaka with a look of concern and determination on her face.
"Misaka, we know that Asher fell into a coma for a couple weeks after the last part of the experiment, but…was there anything else that happened because of it?" Uiharu asked.
Something seemed to flash in Misaka's eyes as she looked away. "A lot of things happened after that, but…I have a feeling I know what you're asking about as it has to do with the actual severity of her brain damage ." She said as she looked over at them with a solemn look on her face. "Because of the device that was installed inside of her head because of Silas ability was running out of control, it had to be destroyed manually as his failsafe to shut it down had been destroyed. I had to send…I full powered blast of my electricity directly into her head in order to destroy it. Weeks after that happened, she woke up, allowing her doctor and hospital staff to deduce the severity of her condition…."
"Since that device was connected mostly to the part of the brain that deals with memories, when she woke up, it was one of the places that was damaged extensively and led to her having a major case of amnesia." Misaka finished. "She had no clue what happened or who she was. She forgot about basically everything for a very long while. Even…our friendship."
Silence fell between all of them as Misaka's gaze fell into her hands as they clenched even tighter.
I don't think I'll ever forget that day…How happy I was to find out that she had awakened when I came back to my dorm and found her in my bed that day, she thought to herself as her eyes narrowed.
It gave me so much hope that…
That she had at least some of her memories to be able to find my dorm room after she had snuck out of the hospital.
It didn't take long for me, however, to see…
How far from the truth that actually was.
Word Count of Chapter: 7017 |Page Count: 12 pages |Reviews: 144 | Followers: 86 |Favorites: 71
Review Replies
Blankow: The next chapter or the chapter after will have the meeting between Yoshikawa and Silas. Silas does indeed know about Accelerator's Level 6 Shift as it had been in the works of being approved or started around the time of WaveInflux as that was going to be the next project Yoshikawa would work on.
I wonder which one would be better/worse/more entertaining: Misaka's clones who notably have about as suppressed emotions as Asher does, or if someone created Asher clones who would have about as much emotions as Misaka does?
Even though it's her birthday month, October as well as the end of September is going to be pretty tough with her mother's death on the 1st and the anniversary of the end of WaveInflux on the 14th.
I'm glad that you liked the conversation between Uiharu, Saten, and Shirai. I tried my best to figure out how each of them would react, with Shirai being the most vocal out of the three of how upset it made her that Asher hadn't told any of them.
As much as she probably would not want to participate in the Daihasei Festival, Asher sadly has no mental abilities like Shokuhou does to get out of it. So she will definitely be participating with the inclusion of Gensei being even more major.
It has finally been confirmed that Yomikawa will be Asher's guardian, with Yoshikawa close behind her. Meaning she will have a direct connection to Last Order and Accelerator. With Sisters' in sight, time will only tell if the two will be civil even with Last Order's efforts.
I could possibly combine the Manga and Anime introduction of Kongou, though I may lean towards just or most of the Anime version more so due to being more familiar with it. From what I read on the wiki, Unabara/Etzali was also a part of this to a degree as Misaka had been trying to hide from him. I didn't realize how early the Anime introduced Kongou versus the Manga as the Manga has her introduced in August, while the Anime introduces her in the first episode in July.
Thanks!
InsertWeirdUsernameHere: If the swimsuit episode is done (which is pretty likely), it will be after the events of this day are done as a small break from all the pretty heavy stuff given in the last few chapters.
In terms of the special events, the trip to Russia and the Liberal Arts City will most likely not be done for the main fact that I am not all that familiar of what happens since it hasn't been adapted to the anime (only mentioned more or less).
And in terms of Asher going to Russia specifically, they're two main reasons why she probably wouldn't go as Shokuhou didn't go along with Misaka either. The first is for the fact that she probably wouldn't have been chosen as they most likely wouldn't trust her as much as they do Misaka. And the second, is that she has motion sickness, so she most likely wouldn't be all too keen on going because of that. Misaka would have to do a lot of convincing for her to just even find herself near a plane.
velvetsthetic: I agree that with everything that has occurred the last couple of chapters, a bikini shoot would probably be the best to break the depression and angst. It would also give more characters for Asher to interact with Wannai, Awatsuki, and Kongou.
It is inevitable now for Accelerator and Asher to interact even after the Sisters' arc with Yomikawa adopting her. The arc itself will hopefully start some time before the year ends at its latest.
Sadly, Himari is not alive in the present of the timeline. I think I know where the confusion is (I may be wrong though) but when Silas said "Can I go see…Himari?" he wanted to go visit her grave. This is a common question that he has asked Yomikawa for the last two years since his imprisonment, with this last time nearly using it as a bargaining chip to finally sign the adoption papers.
Thanks!
LostNeko120: Thanks! The bikini episode will most likely come after the events of this day, with another great time for some of Asher's great reactions to anything she finds illogical.
I'd say that custody of Asher in terms of Yomikawa and Yoshikawa, they would most likely share custody as they do with Accelerator and Last Order. Could they turn into some type of couple in the future? We'll see.;)
Even with the attempts to reign in Kuroko during the last chapter, it sadly was not enough to keep her from getting frustrated with herself from not knowing that something like this happened to the Level 5s and upset with mostly Asher that she would keep something like that from them within this chapter. It would have still probably ended poorly even without it though, since Asher doesn't like finding herself in uncomfortable positions like this one where she feels she is all to blame for everything.
Ghost of Los Angeles: Thanks! And you're right, it has been pretty one sided in showing mostly how WaveInflux affected Asher versus Misaka, since something like her witnessing Asher die right in front of her indirectly because of her electricity would mess anyone up emotionally and mentally. It has been highlighted to some extent (with the possibility of undiagnosed PTSD most likely being the case), though I'll better my efforts like I have with this chapter.
She does ignore it about as much as Asher does by compartmentalizing her feelings for the very fact that she feels like she shouldn't have them since Asher was the one who endured the most during that time. This is her way of coping in a way as it allows her to ignore those feelings, but doesn't realize at times how it's affecting her and that Asher is always aware when she does it.
JintoLin:
Chapter 30
As logical of a person Asher is, she can be one of the most contradictory people in terms of both personality and her own logic. She twists her logic to explain things for herself, which can lead her to doing what most see as illogical that she sees as logical for a particular reason. Misaka is one of the few who has a good grasp on it and can usually predict or know the reasoning behind most of Asher's actions.
The reasoning behind some of Shirai's actions, on the other hand, are unexplainable on occasion lol. You would think that she wouldn't nearly give both the girl she loves to the ends of the Earth and back and her close friend both a concussion like that.
Yomikawa will definitely be seen in this a lot more and time will only tell how the Sisters' arc will change with Asher added into the mix.
Bornkiller9: I'm glad that you liked that chapter, with your predication being correct that the meeting didn't go well as planned. Asher and Shirai may be good friends, but they don't do well with communicating with each other civilly when one or both is angry/upset with the other.
The Gravity Crash that Asher did during the fight with AIM Burst was basically her reversing the gravity around her target at a high rate of speed and sending it back down at them to keep them in place or crush them entirely. She has done it on a smaller scale on occasion whenever she stops someone from even moving an inch by intensifying the gravity around them. She has more attack based abilities like her wind manipulation, but since she's more of a defensive fighter in contrast to Misaka, they're not seen as much unless it's necessary for her to use them.
The next time Asher will have any contact with Touma will most likely be during the Sisters' Arc. With her own experience with memory loss, it will be a lot harder this time around to hide it from both her and even Misaka.
Hmmmm, Kuroko X Asher is interesting, something I bet would shock Misaka completely no matter how many times they take the side against her actions that they see as reckless. Saten already sees them as an old married couple, so it may not be too surprising with Kuroko's love for Misaka not factored in. The other pairings you gave have already been secured in the ever growing bag as I try to narrow my choices at some point in time.
Thanks!
trangbui156:
Chapter 19
Well that was short, sweet, and to the point lol. It's interesting to hear how many want such a pairing to happen even if they haven't met yet. My question is would it be weird now from the standpoint of Asher technically being his adoptive sister with Yomikawa and Yoshikawa becoming her legal guardians?
Thanks for your reviews!
-PurpleClover99
