All characters that are from the TWILIGHT saga by Stephanie Meyer belong to Stephanie Meyer. All others belong to me. I do not receive profit for these stories except for the joyous enjoyment of reviews.
This story follows right after When I'm Gone: Third Installment to GONE Saga, so if you haven't read that one or the two before, please do.
The timeline of the story will coincide with Gabriel Michael Laskaris' growing up years, starting at Seth and Rosa's wedding day, April 12th and will progress from there.
Author's Warning: There's so many of you who have reviewed and commented about wanting to stop reading because of the pain and darkness in these last few chapters...I truly hope you don't, although I cannot say the next few chapters will get any better. I believe a story should be like real life -characters should discover their own strength through adversity, should grow and mature through hardships, should learn to love and feel joy through the survival of pain and angst. I promise you, although there are many dark times coming, there will be rays of sunshine to make it all worthwhile. And once the ending comes -not yet sure when but definitely know how -it will all be so much more beautiful because of all the dark places these characters will have to travel through. I truly hope you don't stop reading, or reviewing. I truly hope you push through it and persevere along with my characters.
And as always, enjoy as you read and please don't hesitate to review, even if it's to cry out for these characters that are so real to me. And please, keep one thing in mind -I am merely the hand that holds the pen that writes the stories of fictional people who tell me what they want to share with you.
Chapter Eighty-Seven (17 yrs old)
August 9th
It was getting late and her dad hadn't gotten home yet. After glancing at the clock, and taking into account it would probably be another two hours before he did get home, Megan headed down the stairs as she spoke into the phone, "We can go to the lookout point."
"How about we go to the high cliff instead? There won't be other people there."
"You're not going to make me jump again, are you," she teased, opening the fridge and pulling out a bottle of her favorite orange-mango juice.
"Not in the middle of the night. And the terrors were the ones who made you jumped, not me. And I didn't let you jump alone."
"Good thing too 'cause I almost drowned," she leaned against the counter, wedging the phone between her ear and shoulder to open the capped bottle.
"You did not almost drown. You're actually a pretty strong swimmer."
"Don't sound so surprised. I did grow up near the beach, after all," holding up the phone with one hand, she tipped the bottle against her mouth with the other, taking a swallow of the juice, "Want me to bring a blanket?"
"What could we possibly need a blanket for," the teasing tone to his question had her smile growing, cheeks flushing as he continued, "But if you've got plans for that blanket, then go ahead and bring one. I'll meet you at the corner in an hour?"
"Why don't you just –"
The slamming front door cut her off, eyes widening as she placed the half-finished juice bottle on the counter, fingers tight around her phone as Gabe asked, "What was that?"
"Dad's home," she whispered, moving as quietly as she could to peek out into the living room, her heart speeding up as she watched him weaving towards the stairs, "Oh, god, Gabe –he's drunk again."
"I'm coming over. Get out of there, Meg."
"Okay. Please hurry."
She held on tight to her phone, trying to keep from hyperventilating as he started yelling out her name. He was coming back down the stairs so she didn't dare make a run across the living room to the front door. The back door was down the hall where the utility room was, but he would see her if she headed that way. Looking around the kitchen, she quietly moved to the pantry, squeezing into the small space and gently closing the door before crouching down to make herself as small as possible.
The time seemed to drag as she heard him stomping around, yelling out threats as doors slammed and things fell and broke.
"Where are you, you little bitch? You think I wouldn't have noticed?"
Biting her bottom lip, she closed her eyes tight, silently begging Gabe to hurry. So focused were her thoughts, she didn't hear the pantry door open, letting out a surprised cry of pain when he grabbed her by the hair to pull her out, his breath reeking of vodka as he sneered into her face, "Think you can hide from me?"
"Let me go," she whimpered, stumbling as he dragged her into the living room, hands clutching his in hopes to alleviate the pressure on her scalp, "Dad, you're hurting me!"
"I'm going to do more than hurt you," he let go of her hair, only to slap her across the face hard enough to send her into the wall, a picture falling with the impact, the sharp corner hitting her temple, "You think I wouldn't notice you emptied out your savings account? I was going to use that money!"
"It's my money," fear lodged in a lump in her throat, the words coming out choked. She closed her eyes as he lifted his hand, ducking out of the way but she wasn't fast enough. Pain shot down her arm and across her back when her shoulder hit the floor hard.
"You think the roof over your head is free?" he growled, leaning down to grab her by the hair again, his face red and bloated with anger, "What did you do with it?"
"I –I used it for s-school," she stammered, crying out when he shoved her away, her head slamming onto the ground, "For b-books."
"You're a lying slut! You gave it to that dirty Indian, didn't you?"
"N-no!"
"You lying whore," he kicked out, his foot connecting with her stomach, causing her to fold into a fetal position, her breath coming out in strangled sobs, "I'll teach you to lie to me!"
She braced herself for additional kick but it never came. She opened her eyes in time to see Gabe jumping over the couch and slamming her father against the wall, protests cut off by the sound of a fist connecting with his nose and breaking it, the spurting blood making her close her eyes as she struggled to breathe.
"You think you're so tough, beating on a girl," Gabe growled as he grabbed fistfuls of the man's shirt, yanking him off the floor, "How about you take your anger out on someone who can hit back?"
Pushing him away from where Megan was to ensure she didn't get hurt worse, Gabe let go of the bastard, eager and willing to teach him a lesson. The guy weaved on his feet as he wiped his hand under his bloody nose, eyes narrowing at the blood on his hand before he curled it into a fist and swung it. He would have done a whole 360 turn had Gabe not buried a fist into his stomach at the same time he ducked.
Megan struggled to sit up, vaguely recalling Gabe having told her his father was a black belt in some form of martial arts and had trained him and his siblings, as well as several other kids at the reservation.
Gabe sent the guy sprawling with a right fist to the jaw, the anger inside him tightly controlled to keep himself from outright killing the bastard.
"Gabe."
Making sure the asshole stayed down, he turned to where Megan was, reaching down to help her up, "Go pack some clothes, baby –you're staying the night with me."
"She's seventeen," her father struggled to sit up, his nose broken, bottom lip split in two different places, jaw swollen and one eye swelling shut, "I'll call the cops and tell them you kidnapped her."
Gabe made sure Megan was steady on her feet before letting her go, watching her head up the stairs before bending and grabbing him from the neck of his shirt and yanking him up onto his feet, "Go ahead and call the cops –make sure you ask for the sheriff. I'm sure my grandfather would be very interested on the bruises on Megan."
Turning and shoving him to the couch, he made sure Megan was no longer within earshot before leaning down until he was almost nose to nose with him, "You ever touch her again, for any reason, I will kill you. They'll never find your body, I can promise you that."
Gabe saw the flicker of fear in the one eye still open, his own eyes cold as ice as the guy sputtered, "Y-you don't have the guts."
"Go ahead and call my bluff, asshole," Gabe straightened, able to hear Megan moving around in her room on the second floor, "The reservation has a lot of unused land –and the white man has no authority there."
He didn't move until he saw the old man realized the threat wasn't empty, taking a step then two away to keep himself from following through with his threat now.
"I'm ready."
Moving away from the couch, and the pile of shit sitting on it, he turned towards Megan, closing his large hand over her smaller one as he took the duffel bag she carried from her, "Let's go and give your dad the night to think over his actions. I'm sure he'll realize his mistake by tomorrow."
Megan let him usher her out the front door, not looking over her shoulder once. The ride to the reservation was quiet, Gabe keeping her cold hand in his the entire way, his body temperature running hotter than usual due to the rage he was still holding inside.
He pulled into the driveway, letting out a quiet sigh before getting out of his dad's car and moving around the front to open her door, carefully helping her out; he was able to see she was favoring her right shoulder and side. Her blue-green eyes looked up at him, large and shining with unshed tears as she bit down on her bottom lip, "Will your mom be okay with me staying the night?"
"Mama is going to take one look at you and it'll take me, Zak, and the twins, to keep her from heading over to your place to cut off his balls and stuff them down his throat."
"Your mother would never do that," Megan's lips spread into a shaky smile, the pain she was filling diminishing a bit as the caring tenderness in his beautiful blue eyes washed over her, "She has too much class."
Gabe laughed, pulling her under his left arm as he closed the door, having already taken the duffel bag and slung it over his right shoulder, "Dad says we get our dirty mouths from her –apparently, back when mama was your age, she had quite an extensive, and seriously vulgar vocabulary."
Her laugh turned into a groan as her bruised stomach muscles contracted, "I don't believe you. I've never heard your mother curse."
"Well, baby, be prepared to be shocked."
Sure enough, as soon as Leah got sight of Megan's bruised and bloodied face, she let out a string of cuss words, some which Megan had never heard before. Despite Leah's obvious anger, she led Megan into the kitchen, carefully sitting her on one of the kitchen chairs and taking the first aid kit Zak had taken from the bathroom as soon as he saw them walk through the front door.
"That son of a bitch ought to be whipped," Leah muttered as she carefully dabbed the cut on Megan's forehead, wiping away at the blood before placing a couple of butterfly band-aids over it.
"I took care of it, mama," Gabe assured her, leaning against the kitchen counter with arms crossed over his chest, "He knows not to hit her again."
"You should have called your grandfather," Leah carefully examined Megan's jaw and cheekbones for any fractures, wincing whenever she sucked in air to keep from crying out in pain, "Fucking asshole deserves more than just a beating."
Megan's eyes widened in shock, bottom lip disappearing between her teeth to keep herself from laughing at the knowing smirk Gabe was giving her.
"Megan?"
Blue-green eyes met light blue ones identical to Gabe's, dark hair falling over a small forehead, "Yes, Xavier?"
He stared up at her bruised face, placing a small hand on her denim covered knee, "Why did your Daddy hitted you?"
She struggled to swallow the lump in her throat, giving him a tremulous smile, "He was mad…and drunk."
"Our Daddy never hits us," Xavier, despite being six years old, sought to give his big brother's girlfriend comfort in the best way he knew how by climbing up into her lap, his arms going around her waist in a hug, "He won't hit you."
Megan gasped at the pain radiating from her stomach up the right side of her torso, but she didn't push him away, wrapping her own arms around the little boy, "You have a very good Daddy, that's why."
"Be careful, buddy," Gabe moved across the kitchen, crouching down in front of them, his hand large and warm against Xavier's small back, "She's got some bruises on her stomach."
Without warning, the little boy leaned back and pulled up Megan's top, his eyes round in horror at the bruises blooming over her stomach and ribs. Leah let out another string of cuss words, "Son of a bitch! Did that bastard kick you?"
Megan couldn't breathe, her eyes filling with tears as she dropped her eyes to her lap, gently tugging the hem of her shirt out of Xavier's grasp and pulling it back down.
Gabe could see she was feeling shame and embarrassment, his chest feeling tight as the anger towards her father began heating up again. Picking up Xavier, he gave the little boy a tight hug before setting him on the floor, reaching out to tip Megan's face up so he could look into her beautiful eyes, "You have nothing to be ashamed of. This isn't your fault, and I am not going to let you think it is. Understand?"
She sniffed, nodding her head, a smile touching her lips when he leaned in and placed a kiss on her forehead, his fingers sliding into her tangled hair as he quietly asked, "Do you need me to take you to the hospital? Your ribs could be broken."
"No," Megan shook her head, looking over at Xavier's worried little face. Reaching out, she gently cupped the side of his face, her thumb brushing over his soft cheek, "Thank you for making me feel better."
"I give good hugs."
"Yes," she smiled at him, "You give very good hugs."
Xavier looked pleased with himself, moving around his big brother to climb up into his mama's free lap. He was the tactile child of the family, always seeking and giving affection through physical demonstrations. He loved to cuddle with his mama and Daddy, as well as his siblings, and they all knew to reject his hugs, kisses or touches meant hurting his sensitive feelings.
"Can Megan stay with us tonight, ma," Gabe looked over at his mama with a pleading look.
"Of course she can stay."
"She can have my bed," Zak offered from where he stood by the archway between the kitchen and living room, arms crossed over a chest that was broadening with every passing day. Megan looked over at Zak, then back at Leah, "I can sleep on the couch."
"Not a good idea," Zak gave her a smile when she looked back at him, blue eyes twinkling as he further explained, "The terrors declare open season on anyone asleep on the couch when they come down in the morning. Unless you wake up before seven in the morning, you'll find yourself hogtied or tattooed with a permanent marker."
"But the twins like me," she teased, surprised the boys being discussed hadn't shown up.
"Which means they'll go easy on you," Gabe stood up, carefully taking her hand and tugging her to her feet, "Put your hand on a bowl of warm water or something."
She giggled, her free hand resting gingerly against her bruised stomach, the two of them looking over at Leah as she spoke up, "I changed the bedsheets this morning Megan, so you can go straight to bed. Just keep the door open and Gabe, no funny business."
"Oh, please, ma," Gabe frowned at her, his eyes icing over slightly, "Like I'm going to do anything with the terrors in the other room. Those two have ears like bats."
Gabe led her up the stairs, Zak following behind to get his pajamas and clothes for the next day, Leah taking Xavier back into the room he shared with Ricky, the little boy having woken up from his usually light sleep at the sound of voices in the kitchen.
"Zak," Megan took the duffel bag from Gabe, looking over at the twelve year old, "Won't the twins torture you in the morning if they find you on the couch?"
Giving her a smile that actually had her suck in a breath –the boy was getting to be as hot as his older brother –he grabbed the black bag he kept his surfing gear in from under his bed, "I get up before sunrise; they won't find me on the couch."
"Before sunrise?"
"Zak likes to start his days with surfing," Gabe chimed in, leaning against the doorframe, "You can have the bathroom first, Meg."
"Thanks."
The entire process of getting ready for bed didn't take long, both of them ensuring to keep any noise down so as not to wake up the twins next door. Soon, lights were out and they were each in their beds. A good half hour passed, Gabe's breathing deepening as he began to drift off to sleep, only to be woken up by Megan's soft voice, "Gabe?"
"Yeah, baby?"
"Thank you…for saving me."
"No need to thank me." She heard the smile in his words, her eyes on the ceiling as she laid on her back, trying to fall asleep without success. Several minutes passed before she turned to look towards Gabe's bed, perpendicular to Zak's, "Gabe?"
"Mhm?"
Swallowing with some difficulty, she whispered softly into the darkness, "Can I sleep with you? No funny business, I swear. I just…"
The silence was heavy then she saw the shadow of his arm lifting his bedsheet up, his deep voice issuing a warm invitation as he shifted to make room for her, "Come here."
He wrapped his arms around her as soon as she climbed in, her back to his chest, head settling on his shoulder, his breath soft against her neck. Seconds turned into minutes, and yet, she couldn't sleep –she was afraid to dream.
Softly sighing, she stared into the darkness, the events of the past few hours rolling like movie credits through her mind.
His sleepy voice cut into her torturous thoughts, lips brushing her ear, "What's wrong, baby?"
"I can't sleep."
"Talk to me, sweetheart. Just get it all out and let it go."
She let out a long breath, realizing she was starting to relax, probably because of the comforting warmth of his body against hers, "It's strange how life turns out nothing like you dreamed of. It's almost like it purposely goes out of its' way to crush all your dreams into unrecognizable pieces."
Letting out a soft hum, Gabe tightened his arms around her, mindful of her bruised stomach, "Tell me about those dreams."
Smiling as she closed her eyes, she slipped her fingers between his, her other hand tucked between her cheek and his shoulder, "To be loved…by my parents, by the man I would marry, by the children I would have. Instead, my mom ran off without me, my dad takes his anger out on me and…"
When the silence stretched out long enough for him to realize she wasn't going to finish what she was saying, he moved just enough to be able to look at her face, reaching up with his free hand to wipe away at the salty tears he could actually smell, "In a couple of weeks, you'll be eighteen, and leaving for college. You will never have to see him again, baby, and you can start a new life, with new dreams. You can't let the pain of dying dreams make you afraid to dream new ones."
"New dreams…"
"Yeah," kissing the corner of her mouth, he smiled when she turned her head, seeking a deeper connection. There was no urgency in the kiss, no flash of desire, just a soft and liquid heat they both sank into until they ran out of air. Settling his head back on his pillow, he buried his face into her blond hair, breathing in the sweet scent of cinnamon and vanilla, relaxing back into sleep but not before whispering loud enough for her to hear him, "I'll be a part of those new dreams, angel."
Megan smiled at the new endearment, closing her eyes and letting herself relax into sleep, knowing without doubt he would protect her from getting hurt, even in her dreams.
August 10th
Early in the morning, on the other side of La Push
"Move in with me."
Letting out a sleepy hum, she opened her eyes, his face over hers the first thing she saw. They were lying in the middle of his bed, his muscled arms bracketing either side of her head, her breasts pressed against his broad chest, the bed sheet covering his bottom half while he covered her body with his, "It's too early in the morning for this conversation, Brady."
"Early morning is the best time for this conversation," Brady quipped back, dipping his head to gently tug at her bottom lip with his teeth as she asked, "Why is that?"
"Because it's easier to talk to you in the mornings," he slid his tongue along her lip before teasing the corner of her mouth, smiling when she turned her mouth fully into his. Keeping the kiss short yet sweet, he pulled back to smile into her dark eyes, "You're relaxed, mellow, not to mention sweeter, when it's still early in the morning."
Letting out a hum, body and mind too satiated to let his words get a rise out of her, she slid her hands up his back, putting enough pressure on his skin with her fingernails to cause his body to shiver, "You're to blame for that."
"I take full responsibility," he murmured, lowering his head to press a kiss against her throat, another shiver wracking his body as she shifted under him until he was cradled between her long shapely legs, "So are you moving in with me or not? You've spent every night with me this summer, I no longer have space for my clothes in my closet because you've taken it over, and your girlie stuff takes up my entire bathroom counter."
"Bradley is going back to school next weekend," she closed her eyes, feeling her blood moving through her, hot and sluggish, as he nibbled a path down her throat to her chest, "I'll give you your space back and move into his room."
"I don't want my space back," Brady nipped at the top swell of her left breast, leaving behind a red mark, "I want you in my space…I want our space."
Giving him a lazy smile, she slid her fingers into his hair, pulling his head down to press her mouth against his, her tongue slipping into his mouth then retreating as she murmured, "Love me."
"I do, baby."
"No," she arched her back, pressing her breasts and stomach against him, her hips rocking under him, "You fuck me."
"Every night I fuck you," he dug his arms under her, holding her tight against his body as he moved against her, sliding into her body with a slow and steady push, "But in the mornings…god, do I love you."
He then proceeded to show her how much he did love her, Bailey struggling to catch her breath at times as the beauty of them together overwhelmed her. It wasn't a new sensation, being it happened every morning, but it still took her breath away. It still had the power to reduce her to all heart and nothing else. Closing her eyes as he pulled her into him afterwards, legs and arms wrapped around each other, hearts beating as one, she let herself luxuriate on the tender feelings inside her, the ones she jealously guarded, even from him.
"So are you moving in with me or not?"
Pulling away from him, she tried to roll out of bed but he kept her in place, rolling his body over hers, his leg keeping hers in place, "Brady…you know why I have to stay at home."
"Yes, I know," he buried his fingers into her dark hair, the strands smooth against his skin, "What I don't understand is why you're so suspicious of the poor girl."
"I'm skeptical," she placed her hands against his chest, trying to push him off but without much success, "She's got mom, dad, Bradley, Lili, and apparently you, believing her bullshit."
"For fuck's sake, Bailey," he moved away from her, frustration riding him hard as he moved to sit on the edge of the bed, "What thirteen year old would make up a story about being raped? Did your dad not tell you he found her mother exactly as Cameron said –strung out on drugs? Stupid woman didn't even realize her daughter was missing."
Closing her eyes, Bailey worked on keeping herself calm, not wanting to ruin the early morning peace she had been enjoying, "I just think it's…coincidental, that she comes around, looking for her brother…"
"What's so coincidental about that," Brady looked over his shoulder at her, eyes moving over the curves and dips of her body, the frustration he was feeling doing nothing to keep his desire for her at bay, "Like any thirteen year old girl, she thought she could handle life on her own. At least she had someone to go to when shit hit the fan. Having been a teenage girl once, I would think you'd be glad of that."
"Look," sitting up, she pulled the bed sheet to cover herself, trying to find the right words, "Its just…what if she…Lili is spending so much time with her…my parents too, and I just…"
Studying her downcast face, he focused on her, able to grasp the tenure of what she was feeling, "Baby, she's not going to replace you…how can she? There's only one of you and no one, I mean no one, woman or girl, can ever come close to being you."
Looking up from her clenched fingers, she let the insecurities she dealt with daily shine in her dark eyes, tears gathering along her bottom lids, "She's really sweet…and nice. She's had a shitty life, at least for the past two years, but she doesn't take it out on others, she doesn't let it turn her into someone everybody hates. Me…I…I've had a perfect life. My parents love me, so do my brother and sister, and you have always been there, and yet…I know I'm hard to deal with, that I can be a bitch without even trying, that I run off my mouth without thinking. I know that, but I can't…I don't know why."
"Baby," shifting close to her, he pulled her into his arms, his heart aching as she broke down and cried, her body shaking as harsh sobs escaped her attempts to swallow them back. Kissing the crown of her head, he pulled her into his arms, cradling her bottom between his crossed legs, effectively drawing her into the shelter of his body, "You're so afraid of letting others see you as vulnerable and soft…even me, the one person whose very happiness depends on yours. Why?"
She was crying so hard, she couldn't talk, shaking her head, turning her upper body into his as she wrapped her arms around his neck, fingernails digging into his shoulders as she held on to the only person she knew would never let her down, and yet… "D-do you…r-remember m-my gr-graduation n-night?"
"Yes," running his fingers through her hair, he pulled her face out of its hiding place, looking into her dark eyes, awash with tears, "I only walked away because you told me to. I may have made it look easy, but, fuck Bailey –walking past you without saying anything, without hearing your voice or looking into your eyes…it damn near killed me. I had to stop my car at the end of the road; I was having a hard time breathing, which made it near impossible to drive."
"It h-hurt b-because I knew it was m-my f-fault," she hiccupped, about to wipe at her tears, but he beat her to it, his thumbs brushing tenderly over her smooth cheeks, "I was an idiot for making you l-leave, but I did it be-because I…"
He could see it in her eyes, could feel it in the way her body molded to his, so trustingly and so completely, but he needed to hear the words, needed to have them on her lips, where he could taste them any time he kissed her, "Say it, baby. Give me the words; tell me why you made me walk away from you."
"I love you," she closed her eyes, feeling her chest cave in with the pain she'd carried inside her heart for years, "Even then, before I made you leave, I loved you. And it hurt so much, to love you like I did but knowing you didn't –you didn't get to choose. It was like, no one would ever love me the way I am, so fate screwed you over by tying your soul to mine…and I made it even worse by willingly tying my heart to yours."
He stared at her, something warm unfurling in his heart until it became a hot sensation he couldn't hide, a smile spreading across his face as he dug his fingers into her hair to pull her into a kiss, but not before sharing how he felt, "You're so fucking stupid, Bailey."
He swallowed her forming retort, his tongue moving over her frown, one second bleeding into two then three before she relaxed her mouth to let him in, arms tightening around his neck as he laid her back on the bed, intent to show her how he truly felt about her. It was early afternoon by the time either was coherent enough to pick up their abandoned conversation, Bailey cuddled into his side, head on his chest, her long fingered hand over his heart, relishing the way it beat to the rhythm of her own.
Turning his head, he pressed a kiss on her forehead before tilting his head down to look into her eyes. This time around, he didn't ask or suggest, but clearly told her, "You're moving in with me."
Giving him a slow smile, she rubbed her nose against his, "I'll make you a deal."
Cocking an eyebrow in response, he waited for her to continue. "You ask my dad if I can move in with you. If he says yes, then I'll do it."
Biting back the smile threatening to appear, he held out his hand, "Deal."
She slipped her hand into his, loving the way his fingers and palm practically swallowed it up, "Good luck with that."
He couldn't hold back the laughter anymore, pulling her arm until she was sprawled over his body, her eyebrows lowered in confusion, "Why are you laughing?"
"Might as well pack your bags as soon as you get home today."
"Why?"
Letting go of her hand, he wrapped his arms around her, hooking his legs around hers to keep her in place, "Your dad already asked me to move you in with me."
"My dad is trying to get rid of me?"
Lifting his head, he gave her bottom lip a teasing nip before grinning at her, "You've been a pain in his ass, Bales. You two are too much alike, and he thinks you'll get along better if you don't live under the same roof."
Seeing the hurt turning to anger, he rolled until she was under him, loving the feel of her softer body molding to his harder one, his words soft against her swollen lips, "I love you."
She stared up at him, chest tight from the expanding of her heart, fingers trembling as she reached up to touch his face, "I…"
"Go on," he gave her a teasing grin when she hesitated, "You can say it."
"I…I love you too."
"Damn right you do."
August 20th
Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
The sidewalks were teeming with people, car horns and squealing brakes blending with voices and laughter to make one swelling wave of noise; her sharp hearing easily picked out the occasional differing language sprinkled among the dominant Portuguese tongue, which she'd already mastered after the first four days here.
Gripping the strap of her duffel bag with both hands, she weaved through the crowd, aware she was being noticed, looked over by men and women alike. There was a time or two when she was stared at a little too long, her own interest peaked at the way they looked and smelled but she didn't have time to stop and investigate any further.
She had an appointment to keep, one that would give her something to do other than roam the clogged streets of this city. She didn't want to be anywhere near him and she knew, after the last fight they had, he had no desire to be near her either.
This time around, it had been a downright brutal fight without fists or words, but blood had been shed, metaphorically speaking. It was the kind of blood that stained the soul, leaving behind deep emotional wounds without hope of healing. This time around, she'd gotten her pound of flesh before caving in to his influence, and it had left her feeling like she'd lost a part of herself.
She'd broken him…but not in time to set her free –at least, not this time.
So lost was she in reminiscing over that night, she stopped paying attention to the people around her, despite the occasional nudge or bump. The process of tearing him apart, emotionally –and to some extent, psychologically –hadn't brought her the enjoyment she'd anticipated. Instead, it left her feeling like she'd lost her humanity, but the brief shame and regret had simply faded into the nothingness that was her current emotional state of being.
"Estás aqui para as audições?"
She jerked back into the present time, realizing she'd stopped before a non-descript glass window, simple black lettering announcing it as the Lia Rodrigues Companhia de Danças.
Staring into large green eyes so dark they could almost pass as brown, Vivi tried to remember how to breathe, shock rendering her mute.
"As audições. É por isso que está aqui, ou você está perdido?"
Shaking her head, she reached out to grab the door as the woman turned to go back into the non-descript building, "I'm not lost, and yes, I'm here for the auditions –Quero dizer, sim, estou aqui para as audições."
"You're American?" Her words were heavily accented, those large eyes inquisitive as she gave Vivi a perusing look, from head to toe then back again, "And you do ballet?"
"Yes," the word came out in a croak. Swallowing in an attempt to get moisture back in her mouth, she expounded further, "Classical ballet…and I'm from Washington."
Nodding, she turned to walk down the hallway, Vivi following, doing her own visual assessment. She didn't have a thing for women, but even she would admit, if lust and desire had a human form, it would look just like this woman. She had a perfect pin-up girl body, the crop top over a leotard and short running shorts over black tights showing it off in all its natural glory, black five inch heels on what were probably size six feet, and her high dark brown ponytail –pulled away from an oval shaped face with large dark green eyes surrounded with inky black lashes, a perfectly proportioned nose above full lips that seemed to be in a perpetual pout –hit the small of her back.
As the woman turned around the corner and opened one of the double doors before them, Vivi couldn't help the spinning of plans and possibilities. It wasn't so much because of the way this woman looked –given he seemed to have a preference for slim-figured blonds with china-doll faces –but because of what she was seeing slowly unravel from around her, the color so rich and vibrant…and so damn familiar it almost made her giddy with suppressed excitement.
"The dressing rooms are behind the stage," she pointed towards the back of the large dark auditorium as she flipped on several switches, turning on the front house lights, "Você é uma prima donna, ou você dança no coro?"
"Prima donna," Vivi let out a long breath, not realizing she'd been holding it, her eyes glue to the spotlight that had appeared in the middle of the stage, her scattered thoughts zeroing on it like a laser, "I can dance in the chorus, if necessary."
"Veremos," waving her to the stage, she turned to walk back out the way they'd entered, "Go change and warm up. Be on stage in half an hour."
Same Day
Seattle, WA
She took a deep breath, trying to will away the annoying butterflies flapping in her stomach, wishing she hadn't told Doug not to come. She hadn't wanted him to be there in case she messed up, but now, she knew his presence would have helped her stay calm. She had never claimed to be a genius, but that had seriously been a stupid move on her part.
"Relax, Nika," Peter Boas, the director of the North Pacific Ballet called out from the front row seats of the auditorium, which she couldn't see due to the spotlights currently centered on her, "You've been dancing with us for two years now. This is just for posterity's sake, so let go of the nerves and just have fun."
"Yes, sir," nodding, she shook out her arms and legs, her muscles warm from stretching and warming up for the past hour. She smiled as she heard Miss Trinity –she'd been such a strong support for her and Vivi since they'd been clumsy little ballerinas in her primary form class – "Dance your heart out, dear."
"Yes, Miss Trinity," closing her eyes, she took another breath, brow wrinkling as those pesky butterflies settled low in her abdomen. Letting out a long breath, she looked over her right shoulder, giving Destin a nod to let him know he could push play on her docked iPod, which was set to the song she'd picked for the audition that would set her dancing career in motion.
Vivi stood in the middle of the stage, her muscles warm and limber after having stretched on the barre for the last thirty minutes. Her heart thumped with excitement as she felt the hot spotlights from either side of the sound and light booth on the back balcony centered on her.
She hadn't had a portfolio to hand over –that had been left behind in La Push; not that the bombshell brunette had even asked for one. She'd simply asked if Vivi had her own music, which led to her handing over her iPod, already set on the piece she wanted to use. A tall, dark-haired guy with the elegant build of a dance had taken it and disappeared into the darkness of the auditorium.
"Lucca está pronto quando estiver pronto," the brunette's sultry voice came from the front left of the auditorium, "Just give him a nod."
Breathing in as she closed her eyes, she relaxed her arms and shoulders before moving into position, gold-brown eyes alive for the first time in months as her nod prompted the music to spill out of the speakers and fill her empty soul.
"Beautiful, Nika," Peter, along with Miss Trinity, clapped as the music faded out, allowing her to lower her arms, her slender body –which had moved with lovely grace along with the music –relaxing as well, "Absolutely beautiful. I do believe you have the makings of a prima donna, my dear."
Grinning, she gave a bow, sucking in a breath as her lower stomach cramped, the pain intense before loosening. Straightening, she stood in second position, waiting for further instruction, heart beating fast with hope.
"Now, darling, I know you have your heart set on working with Denise," his voice was warm and affectionate, "She is a wonderful choreographer and has mentioned you have potential. If you will, I would like to see one of your own choreographies –that is, if you have one prepared."
Her lungs seized in excitement, her lower stomach seizing along with it, but Nika kept herself from crying out with the pain of her overactive nerves, instead working on breathing in deep to keep her rioting emotions from having her puke. Nodding, she let out a breath as her abdomen relaxed, finally able to speak without betraying the painful nerves, "Yes, sir. It would be an honor to work with Denise. If I may go set up the music?"
"Please do."
Turning on her heel, she ran through the few routines she'd choreographed for herself and others, finally settling on the one that would have secured Vivi's spot in Juilliard had she not left without an explanation or a good-bye.
Reaching Destin, she doubled over as her lower abdomen seized in on itself, a small cry escaping her.
"You okay," Destin reached out to steady her, leaning down to look at her, eyes widening at the pale and perspiring face before him, "Nika, you're not feeling well. Let me tell Director Boas –"
"No," sucking in air in an attempt to keep the sudden nausea at bay, she slowly straightened up, "This is my dream, Des. I'm so close…it's just nerves."
He studied her face, gray eyes glinting with concern, "Doesn't look like nerves to me."
"Maybe I'm starting my period. It'll go away once I start dancing," she pointed at the docking station by their feet, "Hand me my iPod, please?"
He gave her the electronic, watching as she perused her playlists for a few seconds before handing it back. Shaking his head, he set it on the docking station, his eyes on her as she gracefully moved towards the spotlight in the center of the stage.
The silence was heavy once the music faded away, Vivi's body slowly returning to earth where gravity ruled while her soul continued to dancing, pirouette after pirouette, joy and delight filling her to her very fingertips, eyes glazed with tears she successfully kept at bay.
After a couple of minutes of silence, her judge and jury spoke up, voice smooth and thick, making her think, if wild honey had a voice, it would sound just like that, "Viviana…give me ten minutes, please. There's bottled water in the dressing room."
Nodding, she walked off the stage, certain her feet were not touching the ground –she was floating so high at the moment.
Dark green eyes followed her until she disappeared into the wings, lips pursed in a thoughtful pout as she stood up from where she had been watching.
"Tell me you're not thinking of bringing her into the company."
She turned towards the dark auditorium, her sharp vision easily picking out the tall graceful silhouette heading towards her, "You saw what I saw, Lucca. She's…exceptional."
"She's a ballerina," Lucca stopped a couple of feet from where she stood, crossing his arms over his chest, a lock of dark hair falling over his forehead, "Lia would never approve."
"Lia gave me full control for the next performance," settling her hands on her rounded hips, she gave her dance partner, and friend, a wide smile, "And I have just the part for her."
"She won't fit in with the rest of us if she's not versatile."
"You must have not been paying close attention," her smile widened a little more, dark green eyes dancing, "A dancer who dances with her heart and soul can dance to anything, as long as there's music. Not only will she fit in, she'll be the best one of us all."
"Thalia," Lucca tried one more time to make her see reason, "You know damn well Lia is going to hate her."
"Only because she didn't find her first."
Shaking his head, he handed her the iPod the ballerina had given him, turning and walking away, knowing damn well to change Thalia Amado's mind once it was made up was the equivalent of trying to stop a hurricane once it's hit land –a total waste of time.
She watched him walk away, not at all worried –or caring –over his assumptions regarding Lia. She knew the woman would throw a fit but she frankly didn't care. She'd gotten carte blanche for the next performance and she was planning on making good use of it.
Moving towards the stage, she hoisted herself up to sit on the edge before swinging her legs around and rising to her feet in one graceful motion, glad Lucca had shut off the spotlights yet left the soft tracking lights around the front of the auditorium. Moving to the center of the stage, she turned to face the dark auditorium, her full lips lifting into a smile as she closed her eyes and recalled her own audition –it had been nerve racking until the music began to play…then it had turned into a wonderful fantasy come true.
A delicate clearing of the throat had her green eyes opening and looking to the right, easily distinguishing the ballerina's silhouette among the shadows beyond the edges of the soft lights, "Do you know how to samba?"
"No," she shook her head, stepping out of the shadows, the duffel bag she had brought slung over her shoulder, "But I can learn, just as I did with tap, jazz, and modern dance."
"There's more to samba than 'learning'," she moved towards the redhead, holding out the iPod she had given to Lucca, "You have to feel it. You shouldn't have any problem with that, though."
Vivi took the iPod from the outstretched hand, waiting for her to explain further but it didn't happen. Instead, she stepped closer, the sound of her heels echoing in a rather ominous manner.
"There's one area of concern we need to discuss," she stopped a couple of feet away from where Vivi stood, her hands clasped behind her back, those dark green eyes trained on her as she continued, "Your diet preference is of great concern to me –"
Vivi stared at her in shock, not sure how to respond, "Excuse me?"
Thalia continued as if Vivi hadn't spoken at all, "And I refuse to put any of our dancers in danger just because you can't resist temptation…and believe me, there will be temptation –and I don't think you're strong enough to resist."
Staring at her in open mouthed shock, Vivi felt the flush of anger creep up her neck and into her face, "How dare you –"
"I dare because they are my dancers," Thalia tilted her head to the side, studying Vivi's flushed face and glittering eyes, "You didn't think you were one of a kind, did you? Down here, there's many just like you…and me. And I realize discussing dietary preferences is a bit…tactless, but in my line of business, necessary. Now, within the dance company, you and I are the only ones –no one knows what I am, and they won't know what you are. But to make that possible, you'll need to make a drastic change to your diet –if you want to be a part of our company. I suggest spending the weekend outside the city limits –we've got an overabundance of jungle cats. Not quite the same thing to what you're used to, but pretty close. We start rehearsals on Monday at six in the morning. If you come, make sure you're past the point of being satisfied."
She walked off into the darkness of the side-wings, leaving Vivi standing where she was, struggling with a strange sensation she finally recognized as humiliation. She hadn't given careful thought to what she'd been doing, aside from the initial doubts and despite Marc's constant insults and condemnations. She'd allowed the cold numbness within her to swallow up her whole, but now, as the woman's words echoed in her head, everything came rushing at her like a tsunami.
Vivi dropped her bag at her feet, tears sliding down her face unnoticed. What had she done to herself?
She had no one to blame for the decisions she had made in the past months. True, it hadn't been her choice to come with Marc, or even to follow him, but the rest…the first guy, the ones after him –that was all on her. Moving towards the center of the stage, she couldn't hold back the pain rising up inside her, causing her to double over as she fell to her knees.
You think he's going to take you back? That he'll look over the fact you've fed on human blood? He'll hate you.
Wrapping her arms around her middle, she curled in on herself until her forehead touched the hard surface of the stage floor, her chest tight as sobs spilled out of her. With a sudden clarity she'd been missing for months, she realized the necessity of letting go of her determination to break free from Marc at all costs or she'd loose the last bit of the person Gabriel had loved so much.
And he had loved her; she never doubted it even though he'd never said it. And even though he'd struggled with the part of her that was his enemy, she knew he saw past it to the real her…and it was that part of her she'd been slowly killing without realizing it. The minutes piled on themselves as the body-wracking sobs faded into soft hiccups. As she pushed herself to her feet, she silently vowed to do everything necessary to once again be the girl he had loved and not what she'd become.
The strains of music spilled through the speakers, causing her to look around then down at the iPod on her hand, the Bluetooth icon letting her know it was still linked up to the sound system. Her breath stuttered as she recognized the songs, eyes sliding shut for a brief second before she set down the pink electronic and let herself get lost in the music, moving throughout the stage without thought or effort.
You've got the words to change a nation
But you're biting your tongue
You've spent a lifetime stuck in silence
Afraid you'll say something wrong
If no one ever hears it
How we gonna learn your song?
So come on, come on, come on, come on
You've got a heart as loud as lions
So why let your voice be tamed?
Maybe we're a little different
There's no need to be ashamed
You've got the light to fight the shadows
So stop hiding it away
Come on, come on
I wanna sing
I wanna shout
I wanna scream 'til the words dry out
So put it in all of the papers
I'm not afraid
They can read all about it
Read all about it
Oh
Nika's breathing was slightly labored, the pain in her abdomen getting stronger, but she pushed through it, holding the ending pose as the music faded out.
"Brava! Brava!"
A smile spread across her face, the perspiration covering it due mostly to the pain she was attempting to ignore than the hot lights. Dropping her arms, she bowed as Peter and Miss Trinity, along with Denise who had joined them right before she had started dancing, gave her a standing ovation. As she started to straighten, pain like a fiery sword being thrust into her lower abdomen had her wrapping her arms around her middle as she fell to her knees with a cry.
Panicked voices blended together, making it impossible for Nika to distinguish between them as she let out another cry, the pain pulling and twisting her insides, tears spilling from her eyes as she cried out in pain.
The edges of her consciousness grew fuzzy, her brain shying away from the agonizing pain and plunging her into unconsciousness.
Seattle Medical Center
The steady beep of the heart monitor was the only sound to greet him as he pushed the door open, quietly stepping into the small private room where Monika had been moved into after emergency surgery.
Moving to stand beside her bed, he gently took her small hand in his, careful with the IV, his other hand softly brushing her silky black hair away from her face before leaning down to place a soft kiss on her forehead.
Her eyes fluttered open, hazily unfocused before they settled on his face, quickly filling with tears as she started to cry, "I'm sorry –I'm so sorry."
"It's okay, baby," Doug leaned down to rest his forehead against hers, wishing he could hold her but he was afraid of hurting her, "This isn't your fault."
"I lost –" she sucked in air, her breath stuttering out as she closed her eyes, not wanting to see the disappointment she was sure he was feeling, "I lost our baby –Doug, I didn't know –"
"Shh," placing a soft kiss on her lips, he rubbed a thumb over her forehead, "This isn't your fault, Monika. These things happen."
Reaching up with her free hand, she pulled him down, burying her face into his shoulder as the emotional pain and grief she was feeling spilled out, her slim body shaking. Slipping his arm under her shoulders, he pulled her closer, his own grief over their lost welling up inside him but he held it back, knowing what Monika needed right now was for him to be strong for her.
Minutes passed as he held her, pain crawling up his back at the awkward bent position he was in but he didn't move, staying right where he was.
"What the fuck are you doing here?"
He straightened, keeping his arm around her shoulders as he looked towards the door where Monika's parents stood, Jared's hands fisted at his sides as he glared at him.
"Daddy, please," Monika tried to break the tension but a fresh wave of grief and sadness hit her, her chest tight as she sobbed so hard, her body shook. Kim whispered something at Jared before moving to the other side of her daughter's bed.
Doug removed his arm from around her shoulders, letting go of her hand as Kim leaned down to gather her into a hug, whispering words of comfort into her ear.
"She needs me here," Doug kept his voice low and steady, able to sense the anger Jared was holding on to.
"You're the reason she's here, asshole," Jared moved across the room in three long strides, grabbing Doug by fistfuls of his shirt and pulling him away from the bed, "I told you to stay the fuck away from her."
"Daddy, please," Monika's words came out strangled as she tried to sit up, sobs ripping past her tight throat, her eyes red and swollen as tears rolling down her cheeks.
"Get the fuck out of here," Jared shoved Doug towards the door, his anger over the whole situation deafening him to his daughter's cries, "You come anywhere near my daughter again, I'll charge you with statutory rape."
Doug knew that wouldn't fly in court, being the legal age of consent in Washington State was sixteen, but he kept the comment to himself, his heart breaking as Monika called out to her father, her face wet with tears, entire body shaking as she sobbed uncontrollably.
He stumbled as Jared shoved him out of the room, easily catching himself before he fell on his ass, "Jared, you can't –"
"Yes, I can. She's my daughter, and I'll do anything to keep her from getting hurt, something you should have done but didn't."
Doug stood there was the door closed on his face. Placing his hands on either side of the door, he rested his forehead against the door, easily hearing the conversation going on inside the room, his heart squeezing painfully as Monika continued to cry, "Daddy…"
"You lied to me. All you had to do was tell me the truth about you two. I would have come to terms about it at some point."
Monika's response came out garbled, her eyes painfully swollen as tears kept running down her cheeks, her throat achingly sore as sobs kept clawing their way up. Jared reached out to gently brush her hair away from her face, "You need to give yourself some time, baby girl. You're only seventeen –"
"You and mom –"
"Yes, your mom and I got married right out of high school but we're the same age. Doug's already lived a whole life outside of you –you're only starting to live yours. There's no hurry for you, baby. He'll always be there but for now, I'm asking –no, I'm begging you…let him be in the periphery of your life, at least for a couple of years."
Shoving himself away from the door, Doug wiped at his face before shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans and walking away. His body trembled with growing anger, all of it turned inward as he let Jared's words echo inside his head.
He'd been a selfish bastard taking what Monika had so innocently offered him. Granted, as his imprint, he couldn't deny her unless it was something that would hurt her…and giving in to her entreaty for a physical relationship had not been to her best interest.
Hindsight being twenty-twenty and all, he decided the best thing he could do for her would be to give her time to live life to the fullest…
Even if it meant his own life would come to screeching halt without her in it.
