Thanks for the kindness on the last update! In this chapter, Bella and Edward's relationship... progresses, or at least tries to! A little more fluff than usual, but I think it's a well deserved break for these two :). What's your favorite quality of the characters?
Please read and review- it gives me the motivation to get chapters out quicker ;)
"Bella, you have to do it," Alice says as she places curlers in my hair.
"Why?" I ask smearing lotion on my legs.
"No more shaving, no more cuts, no more anything. It hurts for like 3 minutes and then it's over."
"I'm not concerned about the pain, Allie. Okay, I am, but I'm more concerned about the person down there just looking at my vagina!"
Alice rolls her eyes. "If the waxer can't look at it, how's a boy supposed to?"
"That's different. A boy is down there for another reason and it's not ripping hair out of my cooch."
Alice has been trying to convince me to get waxed with her for months, and I've said absolutely not every single time. I'll just shave. It's not that big of a deal for me… but to Alice, who has a very special date with her very special not-yet-a-boyfriend boy friend, it is. She got waxed Thursday so she could have plenty of sex tonight, at least that's what she told me.
"And guess what, bitch? I'm still as smooth as a baby's ass."
Alice dresses me according to what Edward requested earlier. I plead for comfort, but there's no use when it's Alice.
I pull my sweater down and show her the bruise on my shoulder. Allie gives me the why are you always getting hurt look, but I tell her the truth.
A dresser did fall on me. I was moving my bed around.
I guess I'm the girl who cried not-abused though. Years of lies that I'm clumsy, and when I actually am clumsy, no one believes me.
Surprisingly, though, Alice lets it go. She puts me in a stretchy but conforming dress that's low in the front and lower in the back. Long sleeves hide my shoulder and arm, and the length hides the tops of my legs.
When she pulls out stilettos, I draw the line.
"Fine," she huffs, reaching into her closet and pulling out sparkly flats.
"Are you going to be okay tonight?" I ask.
"Shouldn't I be asking you that?"
We laugh at the absurd situation our Saturday night has become. She's going on a date with the boy who doesn't date. And I'm selling drugs at a party with my ex-bestie-turned-bully.
~!~
The night doesn't go as planned, though.
Edward gives me the run down on the way. Working together but alone has be feeling all kinds of anxiety.
I make my way around the room, too nervous to do anything, so I make myself a drink and down it quickly. Within fifteen minutes, I'm feeling better.
The drink gives me enough liquid courage to mingle and talk to the party goers. One girl stops me short.
"Girl, that dress!" she hollers, pulling me over to the kitchen to make drinks. I add a little less vodka to mine than she does to hers. "Let's dance!"
So I do.
After a few songs, I tell her about a guy in the room down the hall with some pretty cool party favors. Edward told me to never explicitly say the word "drugs" around young, rich kids.
"The last thing they are is drug addicts, or so they say," he told me the other day.
So "party favors" makes it seem more playful than the reality.
Others hear me, including a group of boys.
"That where Cullen is?" the blonde asks, and I nod. "You with him, baby?"
"Yeah," I say because I came with him, but I know that's not what he means.
"Shame," he says with a wink.
I check in on Edward and he's got his work face on. Edward's in the zone, and he barely notices me. When he finally looks up, his lips purse and he relaxes somewhat.
"You shouldn't be drinking," he says, handing the guy next to me a twisted-up baggy of what looks like baby powder.
"I had to loosen up. Besides, some girl was dancing with me and we got drinks together."
I'm curious how much we've made so I peak over into the backpack, but it's zipped. That's smart. Edward says he has to count out Aro's cut, and the name in the air makes me want to puke, so I leave shortly after.
I'm feeling free and fun and I work my magic the way Allie taught me. Earlier, I watched Alice walk into a room full of confidence and grace. She swung her hips, jiggled her boobs, and looked me right in the eye.
I try to do the same, but I feel dumb. The jiggling boob thing works though, so that's a plus, and it sends a lot more people to Edward. Just before midnight, a guy with long hair, in a leather jacket, dressed in jeans walks up to me.
"You're not from here," he says.
"What? Why do you say that?" I ask, panicked.
He's pretty cute, I guess. His honey-amber eyes captivate me though.
"Let me show you how I know," he says, walking to the room Edward's in.
There must be fifty people in this room. Girls on the bed, girls on the floor, boys sniffing white stuff off the exposed skin of other girls. My gasp and gape makes this guy chuckle
"That's how I know," he says. "So where are you from?"
I look over to Edward, but he's so busy he doesn't notice me.
"Uhm, Forks."
"So you know Edward?" he asks, tilting his head to where Edward sits.
"Uhm, yeah, sort of."
"Exactly how well do you know him?" he asks, eye squinting slightly.
I can't help the laugh the bubbles out. "Definitely not that well," I tell him, catching his drift.
"Okay," he says with a nod. "I don't want to step on his toes."
We talk for a while and I learn his name is Alistair, he's in a band, and he works with his dad putting up roofs and doing construction when the weather is nice.
"Isn't everyone loaded around here?" I ask.
He laughs and shakes his head. "Not me. I'm the one percent. I actually have to use my hands and not my mouth to get what I want around here."
His comment takes me off guard and I can't help the laugh that comes out. It's easy and light and when I tip my head back, and moves closer.
I learn he's an only child and lives ten minutes from here. He's recently single, and is going to UCLA on scholarship next year. He tells me he's pretty straightedge and doesn't drink or do drugs, so I ask why he's here.
"For the chance I might meet the prettiest girl in Washington state."
"Let me know if you find her," I tell him jokingly.
Alistair looks at me with a piercing gaze and a gentle smile. "Found her."
I can't help the butterflies in my stomach from stretching their wings even though I know it's a line. I glance towards Edward and see a cute blonde at his side. They seem to know each other, and his genuine smile lights up his face. I don't know if I've ever seen Edward like this. They hug and talk some more, and I'm compelled to go over there, but then Alistair asks if I want to get some fresh air.
My cheeks feel warm, and it is hot in there, so I agree. The hallway is cooler, and I need a drink, so I walk towards the kitchen, take a shot, and mix a drink.
Then I remember he doesn't drink. "Do you mind?" I ask and Alistair shakes his head no.
Somehow, we end up dancing in the darkened room. Alistair's hands are on my hips, lightly guiding me and pressing my backside into his front. I'm not drunk, but I'm definitely feeling good. For a moment, Alistair presses into me from behind and I can feel his erection. In this moment, I fear I may have mislead him. When I open my eyes, though, Edward's watching from across the room.
Is he leaving?
I remove myself from Alistair as Edward waves and walks past.
"Edward?" I call, running after him. "Edward, wait up!"
He only stops when he makes it to his car.
"Go back inside, Bella," he says, opening the trunk and rooting around.
"No," I tell him. "Why?"
He shakes his head and laughs at nothing. Is he mad?
"It's cold."
"So? Are you leaving?" I ask
"Not yet."
"Who was that girl?"
"What girl?" He's playing dumb.
"The blonde. The girl you were talking to. You looked like you knew her or something."
"She's my… friend." He closes up the trunk.
"Friend? I didn't think Edward Cullen had friends that were girls," I joke.
He's walking away but I'm not having it. When I catch up to him, I grip his wrist to get his attention.
"Edward, what's going on? You're being all weird. Is it because—"
Edward flings his backpack and grips my arms tightly. It happens so quickly that I don't have time to feel his hands on me, or his breath near my face, or my heart climbing through my ribs.
What I do feel are his lips.
What I do feel is the singe of his lips pressed against mine and it burns into my core.
What I do feel is absolute relief.
At first, I'm shocked still, and then I'm melting like chocolate in his palm as it slides up my neck.
And when he gives me his tongue, tingles shoot through my toes and my arm hair, and the thin cotton of my underwear.
The only thought flooding through me is yes.
Just as I relax and press my tongue to his, he pulls away. My chest heaves as I gasp for air. It's like he sucked it from me, and I've forgotten how to get it back.
When I touch my fingers to my lips, Edward backs away.
He's ruggedly tall and handsome in this second. Dark on dark on dark and he's never looked better. Urges to run my fingers across blackened skin floods through me. Edward sort of brushes his thumb across his bottom lip and grabs his backpack before circling my wrist with his fingers.
It's not quite holding hands, but I'll take it in this moment.
"Go back inside before you catch a cold or something," he says hoarsely.
Still stunned into silence, I follow him up the steps and into the door. The party carries on, people kiss and grope in the living room, others are skinny dipping in the hot tub, but I'm face to face with the blonde that holds Edward's attention.
"You found her!" The blonde says with a smile.
I'm looking from her to Edward, waiting for his response. He was looking for me? When? He saw me with Alistair when we were… oh shit, he thinks I was trying to get with Alistair.
But then why'd he kiss me? And why's he smirking right now?
"Cullen. Long time no see, man," Alistair says, walking up to us.
"Hey, Al," Edward greets with still the same smirk.
Alistair turns to me now. "Want to come with me. There's this really cool view of the mountainside on the back deck."
Edward and the blonde walk off before I can tell Alistair the truth.
"I don't want to give you the wrong impression," I tell him.
He nods in understanding and backs away.
"You're his girl," Alistair finishes.
"It's not like that. We're just… nothing. We're nothing. I just don't think I'm ready for—"
"Well, when you are," Alistair says, pulling his phone out and waiting for me give him my number.
What's the harm?
Alistair texts me from his phone so now I have it.
When you're ready, I will be too.
It sort of hurts that I turned him down. He's a cute guy who didn't once try and force me into something I wasn't comfortable doing. But the nagging thoughts of Edward, and the scorching kiss, and the unfinished feelings hold me back.
I think I've played my part well enough to earn a break, so I walk around the house, finding empty rooms, and looking through. I take nothing, but jealousy eats at me.
Kids my age, born into this, don't even realize how good they've got it. Clean rooms, pristine at equipment, guitars hang on the walls, lights that work, beautifully decorated rooms with no holes in the walls created by fists, no dingy yellow paint, no broken lightbulb shards stuck to stained carpets.
Later, I'm in someone's study, with floor to ceiling book shelves, and a huge piano, and the prettiest view of the mountains. I take my time in this room, perusing the shelves, skimming my fingers against books I've never heard of, tracing my finger along the desk in the middle of the room, playing keys on the expensive piano.
I pretend this is mine.
The bass of the music thumps through the walls, but it's quieter in here than anywhere else in this house.
At one point, a book catches my eye, and I reach to grab it, but I'm too short even on my tippy toes.
A body presses against mine, and I know it's his. Edward startles me, and I let him know. Long fingers twist the ends of my hair before trailing up my arms to my shoulder. He finds the bruise from this morning.
His anger worries me.
It didn't hurt so bad when it happened, but the bruise has turned darker and darker as the evening wore on, I guess.
I'm not sure if he buys my story, but I remind him of our promise.
Edward stares down at me. His feet stay planted, and he's unmoving for long moments as he looks from my neck to my lips.
Please kiss me I think to myself. I'm not strong enough to initiate yet. Please, Edward, kiss me.
"Ready?" he asks.
Disappointment trudges through me.
"Ready."
~!~
On the way home, there's not much talking going on.
I wonder what he did with the blonde. He told me his therapist asked him not to have sex, but I wonder what other stuff he did tonight.
Or maybe he was too busy.
Or maybe he stopped.
Or maybe I'm being ridiculous.
"What are you thinking about?" Edward asks quietly.
I swallow down the actual thoughts and shake my head. "Not a lot. What about you?"
"Not a lot."
More quiet overcomes the lies.
Word vomit gurgles up my throat. Questions I need the answers to swirl around the air.
So I go for it.
"Do you like her?" I ask finally.
"Do you like him?" he fires back.
"No."
"No." Edward straightens in his chair and clears his throat. "Charlotte's a friend from my old therapy group. She's known me for a while. We lost touch after she moved. Tonight was the first time I'd seen her in years."
"Oh." I'm dumbfounded but relieved. The feeling makes me nervous.
"Alistair's a good guy. I wouldn't blame you if you—"
"I told him I was giving him the wrong impression."
"Why?"
"I didn't want him to expect anything. I thought we were just having fun."
"Looked like it," Edward says with a smile.
Embarrassed, I glance away.
"Don't be like that. It's okay to let loose. I've never seen you like that."
He glances over and catches my attention.
"Like what?"
Edward's smile makes me smile. "I've never seen you dry humping."
"Ew, Edward, no I wasn't!" I reach over to play slap him while giggling.
Edward pulls onto my street and nods. "Oh yes you were. I bet you even gave him a hard on, didn't you."
"No!"
"Liar," he says, driving slowly down my street. "I would have had one."
A ball forms in my throat as I swallow. "Why?"
"I know what kissing you does to me, I can only imagine what having your body against mine like that would do." He's dead serious and not really watching the road, so when we get to my house and there are two vehicles in the driveway, my heart triple beats. I'm not sure if it's seeing Aro's car or Edward's blatant honesty that's the cause.
"Edward, it's him," I say, reaching over to grab his forearm holding the gearshift.
Edward tenses and his feet war with himself. He wants to stop and go into my house. He wants to mess with Aro. This is what he's been waiting for. But I'm here, and scared, and holding onto him so tight I know it hurts.
"I'm scared, Edward," I whisper. My breathing increases and my head goes light.
There's mumbling, or talking, I'm not quite sure. It's hard to hear right now.
"Hey," Edward calls out. "Bella, it's okay." Edward removes my hand from his forearm and grips my entire fist into his, placing it on the gear shift while his fingers curl around the top of my hand, holding me still, placing pressure, reassuring me.
His foot presses on the gas as we drive past my house and the further away we get, the more relaxed my body becomes.
Its only when we pull into his empty driveway that I notice my hand holding the gear shift, and his hand holding mine, and the thought that I want him to hold it more often.
~!~
We walk into what starts to feel like my second home, and I'm tense. Normally, I'm here under different circumstances. Tonight, I'm here because he's saving me.
In his room, Edward shut his door and pulls out a gray t shirt and a pair of sweats, handing them to me.
"Here's a spare toothbrush," he says, opening his clean bathroom vanity and pulling out a medium bristled brush, setting it on the sink.
"Thanks," I tell him.
In the bathroom, I change quickly, folding Alice's clothes and placing them neatly on the counter next to his sink. I'm braless since this dress is backless, and my nipples stand at absolute attention from the chill in the bathroom. Shit.
After I brush my teeth, finger comb my hair, and press against the fake lashes Alice put on me, I pull open the door and watch Edward as he walks around shirtless.
Black ink colors his arm and over his shoulder as it bleeds into color. Smaller, random tattoos decorate his forearms and biceps, and I wonder about those stories.
Edward turns back to me and licks his lips slowly before sucking in the bottom one and gnawing on it.
He looks from my eyes to my neck to my chest as I move closer.
"Are you hungry?" he asks quietly.
Honestly, a little so I nod.
"Good, me fucking too."
I follow Edward downstairs as he puts in a frozen pizza and then stands awkwardly. His side faces me as he stares out his kitchen window.
"Everything okay?" I ask.
"Huh? Yeah, why?" he says quickly.
"You're just sort of being weird. You can drop me off at Alice's and I'll climb in her window," I tell him.
He shakes his head and says, "No. I'm sorry. Just thinking about why Aro would be back at your dads."
"They're working together, right?" I ask. It seems like Edward knows more than he's letting on.
"Yeah, yeah. That's right." Edward nods, looking down at my feet.
He's hiding something. Edward's usually cool, calm, and collected. That's his MO, not this scatterbrained, awkward boy.
"What's going on?" I ask, hands on my hips.
He looks all around me but not at me, and it's starting to piss me off. Whatever he's hiding must be good, but there's no smirk, or smile, or tease at all as I whine.
"I need a fucking drink," he says, blowing a sigh out of his lips and walking down the hall. He returns quickly and places two shot glasses and a bottle of something clear between us. "What about you?" he asks.
I gesture to the shot glass he places before me. "I guess."
Edward fills us up. For everyone I take, he takes two. After my second, I slow down because he's starting to slur.
Edward empties his backpack on the island.
"I normally do this with J in the shed, but since you helped, lets count together, Princess."
And there it is.
He's back, and so are the butterflies.
Princess. I don't entirely hate it this time.
I count my stack slowly, savoring crisp twenties and hundred dollar bills so fresh they could cut. Edward whips through his stack, licking his fingers to wet them as he counts quietly. I have literally never seen this much money in my life. I've only saved about $500 since starting work, and I thought that was a lot. All this cash puts my hard work to shame.
"Twenty eight hundred," I tell him when he's done. Excitement grows in my belly because holy shit that's a lot.
The timer dings and Edward pulls the pizza out and lets it cool.
"Three thousand seven hundred," Edward says with a smile.
"That's good, right?" I need to hear him say it.
Edward nods and smiles, laughing to himself. "That's very good, Bella."
I can't help but scream and dance around.
"What is that, almost seven grand?" I yell, unable to do the math.
"Six thousand five hundred."
I run over to Edward and throw my arms around his neck.
"Thank you, thank you!" I cry onto his shoulder. "I can't believe it."
Edward wraps his long arms around my thick waist tightly and spins us back and forth. He's excited, too.
"You worked your magic, Bella. You did good."
Edward slowly lowers me but doesn't move away, and neither do I.
He kissed me earlier, a fiery hot, fleeting kiss in the frigid air. My lips wet themselves, begging for another. Am I confident enough to give in and do it? What if I meet him half way? Surely if I lean in, he'll understand.
Edward pours us another shot, hands me one, and clinks his against mine.
"To wealth," he says.
"To new beginnings," I say back.
~!~
I never end up kissing him, but I do take one more shot before eating three pieces of pizza.
"Oh my god, who makes this?" I ask Edward over a huge bite. "This is really fucking good."
"Digiorno." Edward laughs and shakes his head. "You're just drunk."
I look at him like he's crazy. "Am not!"
Edward splits the last piece with me, tearing it in half, and I pout as he takes a bite of the crust.
"The crust is my favorite," I tell him, eating the cheese and meat half he gave me.
"The crust is my favorite," he retorts back, rubbing it in.
He's confident, and firm, and so freaking… sensual right now. His eyes follow mine wherever I look, and when our fingers touch, it's warm and electric and core shaking. I have never felt whatever this feeling is before in my short seventeen years of living.
Edward brings it out of me.
"How do you keep it together so well?" I ask, standing to help him clean up. Edward does the dishes while I scrub grease and crumbs off the pretty marble counters.
"What do you mean?"
"You present yourself in a way that no one would know your mom was murdered, you're a millionaire drug dealer, or a sex addict." I think about the last one for a moment. "Okay, not the last one."
Edward throws his head back and laughs.
"First of all, I'm not a millionaire," he explains, looking over at me with a smirk. "And what, should I be more like Alistair?" he taunts.
"Ew, no," I say honestly. "Why are you even bringing him up?" I ask before pausing and looking over at him. "Edward, are you jealous?"
I take small steps over to where he stands at the sink.
"Pft," he breathes out. "Jealous of that fucking guy? Why would I be?"
Squinting my eyes as I get closer, Edward spews on.
"Really, Bella, why would I be jealous?" he asks quietly, but I say nothing. It's a sobering thought.
"Because you—" but I stop myself with a shake of my head, still walking to him.
When I reach him, Edward shuts off the water and whispers down at me, "say it."
The words form icebergs on the tip of my tongue. They're frozen, glued there, and no matter how much I try, my heart won't let me because it's afraid of being crushed. Once I say the words, I can never get them back.
"Say it, Bella."
The words thaw and fall from my lips like knives. "Because you like me." I suck in a breath and wait. If I read way too into this, the knives will stab into my heart, and I'll be cut too deep to repair.
Edward pulls me to him, lifts me up and sets me on the counter so swiftly its actually impressive.
We're eye to eye and heart to heart.
Edward's chest rises and falls so fast it matches my own.
"Say it again," he whispers, eyes right on my lips as if he'll see the words when I speak them.
"You like me, Edward." It's a whisper but fills the room loudly.
My words release him. Tense shoulders sag and his head hangs low. His arms brace against the counter on either side of me, trapping me as he chews on the revelation.
"And you?" he asks quietly.
Those two words spin inside my head in an orbit. Do I like Edward? Do I like Edward Cullen?
He tore me down. He beat me up with his words. He hurt me and made me cry. He was my abuser at school. He made my life hell.
But he saved me. He continues to save me. He helps me and pulls me up and chases drug lords and lets me sleep in the safety of his warm bed. He's a sex addict who hasn't once tried to use me. He's got one eye on me at all times, and ready to fuck up anyone who gets close.
Wait, does that mean…
When he lifts his head, blue eyes cleared of confusion and doubt and now filled with relief, I can see that Edward does have some sort of feeling for me.
Alice was right.
Now I just have to figure out what that feeling is.
He stands and straightens, trying to walk away, but I grab the neck of his shirt and do the bravest thing I've ever done.
I kiss Edward Cullen in the middle of his kitchen.
His lips freeze against mine, but I pull him tighter to me. My hand stays tangled in cotton while the other trails up and down the muscles of his back. Opening my mouth to deepen the kiss enlivens Edward, and he grips my hips, scooting me closer to the edge of the counter. My legs spread so he can fit between our bodies, and his chest pushes mine back so he's towering over me.
Edward grips the back of my head and holds me to him, afraid I'll pull away.
I won't.
His tongue touches mine and we moan at the same time. Every pass of his tongue against mine, the warmth of his wetness inside my mouth, the pressure of his hand on the back of my skull has my hips slowly circling on this cold marble.
My legs scoot so I'm more off the counter than on, and I feel it. Boy, do I feel it.
Edward, as hard as this counter, presses between my legs.
The gasp that his hardness evokes takes me by surprise and I pull back abruptly, tearing my lips from his regretfully.
Edward's eyes light up immediately and he backs away.
"Fuck," he whispers irritably. "Fuck!" Louder this time.
My eyes won't stop staring at the tent inside his grey sweats. I haven't blinked in twenty seconds, and while my eyes are dry, I don't want to miss a second of whatever that is in there.
"Edward," I whisper breathily, eyes as big as tennis balls.
He grips his hair and paces in the kitchen, whispering to himself but all I can see is that huge—
"Bella, stop!" he says suddenly.
Edward places himself at the other end of the island, behind the counter, and I can't see it anymore.
"Stop what?" I ask, dumbfounded, still not all together with it.
"Stop fucking looking at my dick!" I can't tell if he's uncomfortable or what, but his words embarrass me.
"I-I'm sorry," I whisper, jumping down, but I'm light on my feet and stumble forward.
He rushes to catch me. I notice somedeflation, but I do as he asks and look away.
"Not because I don't want you." He says softer. Edward sighs and thinks before starting again. "If you keep looking at it, I don't know what the fuck I'll do. That's a lie. I know exactly what I'll do," he explains slower. "I'm working—I'm trying hard—Bella, I want you, but I need to go slow, okay?"
"O-okay," I stutter, straightening up.
Edward shakes his head and paces again. "Trust me," he whispers, pulling at the ends of his hair. "I want nothing more than to—" but he stops himself again, and I wish he hadn't.
I'm half drunk and just made out with Edward Cullen, gave him a boner, and he doesn't want to hook up. I should commend him for his actions, for being a gentleman, for sticking to his guns, but holy crap do I want it. There's a throb between my legs that I desperately want to touch.
"Okay," I tell him softly.
He leads me upstairs, back into his room, and I sit on his bed. In a new environment, I'm able to think clearly.
"Edward, I'm so sorry." The apology falls easy out of my mouth.
"Don't you dare," he says, sitting next to me. "Don't apologize for that."
"I'm just really embarrassed."
"Because we're not fucking on the counter right now?" he asks harshly.
I don't really say anything because the image has me losing my mind, so I sort of nod and shrug at the same time. The idea doesn't seem so horrible, right? Losing it to Edward and that thing on his counter? It would definitely make a good first-time story.
"If you meant nothing to me, I'd have you splayed out. If you meant absolutely nothing, I'd tear your clothes off right now, lay you down on this bed, and pound the fuck out of you, Bella," he explains. "But I feel… something for you, and I want to be better. I want to do the right thing. I want to figure it out first, Bella, okay? Normally I wouldn't hesitate to tear your clothes off and sink balls deep into you, but this different, and that's good."
His words make sense and I nod, but he's gotta stop talking like that.
"Okay, but stop saying that please," I tell him honestly, gnawing on my lip.
Realization hits him and his eyes grow big. "I'm a sick fuck. I'm sorry for talking like that. Sometimes I forget—"
I interrupt his rant. "Not because it's gross, Edward. If you keep saying that… stuff… I'm going to want you to do it," I admit with a blush.
Edward looks from me to my neck back up to my eyes. There's suppressed mischief that grows there, and he shakes whatever thoughts from his head.
What a night it's been.
Edward gives us both some space and explains he's going to clean up the cash downstairs which gives me time to settle into bed. I lay my head on his pillow and watch as his door opens and closes. Edward pulls a pillow from his bed and walks to his couch, but I stop him.
"Lay with me?" I ask quietly. "At least for a little bit?"
I'm not ready for this night to be over.
Edward walks back over and rest on top of the blankets with me. It's warmer in here, probably from the liquor, and the room spins only slightly.
He lays facing me and smiles as I blink lazily.
"You're such a lightweight," he teases.
I smile back because I have nothing to say.
I count the tiny freckles that dot his cheeks, memories of summer and sun and fun fading with the gray of winter approaching.
Edward watches me breathe as I roll to my back. He looks from my chest to my lips before trailing his fingers down the bare skin of my arm.
His fingers are gentle as they pet me, brushing around my elbow and back up. They tickle against my neck and my collarbone, and when he trails his pointer finger down my chest, between my breasts, I remember I don't have a bra on.
The gasp gives me away and he smirks softly.
"It's the best fucking thing I've seen all night," he smiles playfully.
"Tell me a secret," I whisper, closing my eyes from exhaustion.
"I've always liked you," he whispers back after some time.
~!~
In the middle of the night, a warm body presses against my back, drapes a large arm over my chest, and breathes into my hair.
I scoot back into the embrace, a foreign feeling, and surrender to the comfort.
~!~
In the morning, when the light breaks through the curtains, Edward lays fast asleep on his back to my side. His bare chest rises and falls. I turn in the bed and rest my head against his chest, tucked into his side, and thinking through the weirdest night I've ever lived.
Edward Cullen kissed me.
I kissed Edward Cullen.
He's always liked me.
What does this make us?
Definitely not boyfriend and girlfriend. Maybe friends? Were we ever even friends before?
Friends that kiss? Friends with benefits?
I stress too much on the title and don't realize when Edward stirs below me.
"Morning," I whisper
"Was it a dream?" he asks, gripping my shoulder, holding me to his chest.
I shake my head and look up at him.
Edward relaxes under me and breathes out.
"That was fucking…" he trails off, shaking his head.
"I know," I agree, nodding slowly.
Where do we go from here?
~!~
We get up around nine, and while he showers, I straighten his room. A remote falls from a blanket in his bed, so I open the nightstand drawer and pause in surprise.
There must three or four different bottles of clear liquid that roll when it opens, and a few random condoms.
"What are you doing?" he asks from the doorway, a towel around his hips and wet hair hanging down his face.
"Oh, uh, this fell out of your—uh—so I was just—uh—putting it back," I stutter, shutting the drawer quickly.
Edward smirks a laugh and shakes his head. "It's okay, I was only curious. I thought maybe you were snooping or something."
I shake my head. "No, of course not." I guess to him it seems like it though.
"That's just my jerk off drawer, Bella. If you wanna find where I hide the whips and nipple clamps, you'll have to look elsewhere," he says, sauntering over in a towel tied at his hips. One harsh breeze and that bad boy's gone.
"Your… jerk off drawer?"
Edward reaches next to me and opens. "All my lube and a few random condoms just in case," he explains. "Guys don't jerk off dry. At least, I don't."
I nod and listen along.
"Do you, Bella?" he asks playfully. This Edward is confident in the light of day with only a towel wrapped around him.
"Do I jerk off dry? No, can't say I do," I give back.
"Oh, so it's wet then?" he teases, voice dipping low.
Well, I walked right into that one, didn't I?
"I think I'm going to take a shower if you don't mind" I say, excusing myself. Showering in his bathroom may be weird, but I feel dirty in more ways than one.
Last night I would have given into this Edward. I would have let him do anything and everything to me. Last night, roles were reversed. He was the prude.
The thought makes me smile as I peel off my clothes and shower under the warm, harsh spray. I close my eyes and lather up in his two in one shampoo and conditioner. It's the worst, but I love the smell. His bodywash is Dove for Men and crisp. It feels weird to like that I smell like him.
It's only after I shut off the shower, and I'm wrapped in a towel, that I notice I don't have any clothes.
I could put on the dress from last night, or the clothes I wore to bed, but the dress was too uncomfortable, and the shirt smells like spilled vodka and old pizza.
Deciding I have to face him, I tighten the towel around my body, pinching the ends together that don't quite meet at the bottom, and open the door.
"Can I have some clothes, Edward?" I ask.
Edward, who's sitting on his couch thumbing through his phone, stands immediately and goes to his dresser.
"Yeah, I'm sorry, I wasn't even thinking," he tells me quickly.
I'm handed another t shirt and a pair of joggers that tighten at the ankles.
When I tug them on in the bathroom, they're tight around my hips and my butt. I know I'm bigger than him, but damn.
"Edward, whose are these?" I ask, exiting the bathroom, finger combing my hair.
"Mine," he says with a laugh.
"Well, what do you wear, a size small? You know these hips don't fit that," I explain, trying to stretch out the waistband.
"Those are from like eighth grade. I figured you'd want ones that fit a little better so you can climb up to your window easier."
"Oh," I say as he bursts my little bubble. "Makes sense." I hope my quiet tone doesn't give away my disappointment.
"I'm hungry as fuck. What do you say we spend a little cash and treat ourselves?" he asks with a smile.
"Okay," I agree with a nod.
"Good. I know the perfect place."
Edward lends me a gym bag to pack my clothes from last night inside, and I slip my toes into the flats Alice lent me. It looks a little strange with this outfit, but Edward's size 13 shoe obviously wouldn't fit me.
After tossing my bag in the trunk, and hopping in, Edward drives out of Forks.
"Where are we going?" I ask.
"I'm claiming my prize," he tells me.
"Huh?" I ask in confusion. "What prize?"
Edward glances down at the clock in his car. "It's 10:55 am. Twenty four hours where you can't tell me no, Bella."
Slumping in my chair, I slap my palm to my forehead. "Oh great. What first, Edward?"
He laughs and looks from the road to me and back before asking, "why did you kiss me?"
My eyes roll on their own. "Isn't it obvious?"
"No."
Spit collects in my mouth and I almost drown. It won't go down.
"I, uh, I feel… something… for you too."
Edward doesn't glance at me or mock me or say anything at all. We sit in a heavy silence where two ex-friends turned enemies are morphing into… more.
The next thirty minutes pass, and when we pass the sign for Fairholme Campgrounds, I know where we're headed.
"Port Angeles again?" I ask.
"There's a little diner by the pier that makes the best fucking waffles," he explains.
"Edward, I thought we were staying in Forks. Look at me!" I explain, gesturing to my shoes and the tight pants. "I'm not even wearing a bra," I whisper like the word is dirty.
"I know." His low tone send flutters up my chest, and then he looks down at my chest.
"No fair," I tell him, crossing my arms. "If I can't see, you can't see. Fair is fair."
What a mistake that was.
Edward smirks like I've never seen before, and he drops his arm from the steering wheel, leans back in his seat, sort of against the driver's side door, and gives me a full view of the sort of bulge in his jeans.
"You wanna see, Princess?" he asks. It's not a tease. I think he actually wants to know how far I'm willing to go, but this isn't the place, and I feel like I need Alice's guidance first.
Clearing my throat, I explain, "I'll feel really awkward going into a place so rich and haughty dressed like this, Edward." My hands fidget on my lip as my eyes drift from his hard on to my knees.
His fingers move from the console to touch the soft part of my forearm. They rub smoothly.
"I know, Bella. We're going to get you some clothes," he explains easily, like he's already thought of it. He knew I'd be uncomfortable. He made a plan.
When I look up, Edward lifts his hips and adjusts himself in his jeans. I can't tear my eyes away. He doesn't make me.
~!~
We pull up to a shop in the center of town. I've never been here before, but Alice has. I know the price of the clothes, but I'm too embarrassed to say anything to Edward.
"You will pick out everything you want to buy," he says from behind me, in my ear, as I finger the pretty pink sweater on the mannequin.
"It's too much," I whisper to him. Embarrassment pinks my cheeks.
"Are you breaking the rules already, Bella? Maybe we need to think of a punishment."
"I'm not breaking the rules if I literally don't have the money."
He smirks at me and shakes his head. "You made us almost seven grand last night, Bella. You have some money. Treat yourself."
Edward's doing this for me. He's using these 24 hours where I can't say no as a way to treat me to things I'd normally deny myself."
It brings tears to my eyes, and I have to look away or I'll cry all over this pink material. Edward pushes wayward strands of hair from my face and smiles down at me.
"Pick what you want. You deserve it," he reminds me before walking away.
Over the next hour, I try on some jeans, a few tops, and the cutest shoes. There's also a sweater dress for $100 that I pick up and put back so often that I try and forget it at the end. It's a beautiful drop shoulder dress that sits baggy in some areas and fitted in the best areas. There's a thin, brown belt around the waist, and the material melts like butter in my hands. But where will I ever wear this, and I could do so much more with $100.
Eventually, I let go and move on.
These combat heels though? Hell yeah. They're worth the $70 price tag. The heel isn't as tall as Alice's, but they look just as badass as hers and will pair well with these super skinny, dark denim jeans and grey top. I find some frilly blouses on sale, and when I'm down, Edward waltzes up to me.
He's got an armful himself that he asks the lady to ring up.
When she gives the total, I about die, but Edward flips through cash like it's nothing.
"Aro's treat," Edward says with a wink.
I can't stop the smile. He's not making me use my half to pay for it.
"Thanks," I tell him as he grabs the bags from the lady and we walk out to the car.
"I'll tell him we made less than we actually did. The fucker will never know."
The sweater dress still lives in my mind as I pull out an outfit from the bag.
"Call my phone, Bella?" Edward says as he searches frantically for it in his car, the trunk, and his pockets.
When I call, I don't hear his ringer.
"I'm going to go check inside. You get changed in the car," he explains.
Luckily, we parked near the dead-end street and no one's around. I slip on the tight as hell jeans, pull on the sweater, and slip into the boots. After finger teasing my hair and slapping my cheeks to pinken them up, I feel revived. Some of the waterproof mascara and eyeliner from last night stayed through the shower this morning, so I don't look too horrible.
Edward shuts the trunk that I must've left open and hops inside.
"Yep, it was in there," he says with a smile.
"Where to now?" I ask, sort of bouncing in my seat like Alice does.
Edward smiles and shakes his head. "I don't think you're ready," he tells me.
Ten minutes later, we're in the seedy part of town, and parked at a nondescript building. Gray brick with a fence around it.
"What is this?" I ask as he climbs out.
"Come on, Bella."
I pop out, a little taller from the shoes, and wait until Edward walks over time.
"Damn," he whispers, looking down at my hips then my shoes. "Forget what I said last night. Let's find a hotel," he says, walking back over to the car.
"Oh, knock it off," I tell him, walking ahead to the entrance as he follows behind.
Edward reaches to open the door and warns me, "you can't say no."
Well, that's concerning.
It's a freaking sex toy shop.
Huge, pink dildos hang from the walls, thick realistic ones hang next to them, and little vibrators dangle off hooks below.
"Pick two," he tells me.
"What? No."
"Tsk, tsk," he says. "Remember the rules."
"There are no rules, Edward."
He straightens up and walks over. "If you don't pick, I will. And Bella?" he asks, gesturing behind me to the thickest dildo I've ever seen, "you don't want me to pick."
It almost makes me laugh, but the bundle of angst in my stomach burns the fun before it can happen. I'm uncomfortable here, and my wiggling fingers show it. None of my limbs can stay still. I'm either walking or talking or wringing my fingers before finally deciding on a small pink dildo, the Pink Pleaser, and a little penguin looking thing, the Satisfier Pro.
Edward says nothing about my choices. He simply pays and we leave.
Inside, he let me do my thing. Never once did he tease me, or tell me to go bigger, or give me any stipulations except to pick two.
So I did.
"Did I do ok?" I ask quietly as we hop into his car.
Edward stops buckling up and looks at me. "This is for you, Bella. I want you to pick what will, uh, satisfy you," he jokes with a smirk before buckling up and starting the car.
"I'm never going to use these," I tell him, pulling them out of the bag and looking at the box. "Like a guy going down on you but better," I read from the back of the Satisfier Pro's packaging. I giggle and say, "well it's not like I'll know the difference."
"Thought you weren't ever going to use them?" he teases.
Shit, he's right. "I'm not."
Edward smirks and nods. "We'll see about that."
~!~
Over lunch, Edward orders waffles and tells me to order what I want.
When I mention a salad, he looks over the menu at me with a cocked brow.
The waitress comes around and I order a strawberry milkshake, 3 slices of French toast, and some sausage.
"Patties or links?" she asks.
I shrug. "Links."
We talk comfortably about our friends and last night. He tells me more about Charlotte and how crazy she used to be. Edward opens up about some of the things his therapist has said, and he really seems to be growing. When he mentions the nightmares, I let him speak freely.
He's open and honest and when our food arrives, he pauses. Edward thanks the waitress with a smile and continues on when she leaves. I listen with open ears and an open heart. Edward's really been through it. He starts to touch on his hypersexuality but pauses as I take a bite of the sausage.
Confused, I pause and look down. "Do you want some?" I ask, not sure what the problem is.
"No," he says, looking away.
"Dr. Shelly thinks I should limit the number of girls I'm with. She'll never tell me to stop because that'll cause a behavior contrast or some shit. She suggests blowjobs as needed but even those should be far and few between, and only with one girl. She talks about all this psych bullshit, but it makes sense I guess. I should be depending on myself to get through "rough patches" and not fucking out the frustration. "Rough Patches" whatever the fuck that means."
Edward stops and stares again. I'm glad he's opening up and sharing this with me, but he watches my mouth as my lips close over the sausage and then watches as the grease rolls down my chin.
"Bella," he says softly, looking around at the other customers. "I really fucking wish you'd have gotten the patties."
"Why?" I ask confused.
He shakes his head and laughs like it's absurd, but I'm not sure if he means him or me. "You want me to be honest?"
"Always, Edward."
He nods in agreement. "When you wrap your lips around anything phallic shaped, I immediately picture your lips on my dick."
My mouth drops open in surprise.
"How long have you—" I pause in embarrassment, but I shouldn't be. If he can admit that, surely I can ask some questions. "How long have you thought about that?"
"The last few weeks," Edward answers honestly. "Have you—" he starts but pauses, looking up from his waffles. Uncertainty sparks in his eyes. "Have you thought about me?"
I swallow the lump and nod. Fair is fair.
"Yes."
Edward looks at me intently as his chest rises and falls. He's warring with himself.
"You ready to get the fuck out of here?" He pulls a one-hundred-dollar bill out and leaves it on the table.
Our lunches are half eaten, but I'm not hungry anymore.
"Yeah," I tell him.
The second we're outside, Edward grips my hand and pulls me into an alley. It's shallow but out of the way.
My back's against the rough brick and he's leaning into me, staring me down, towering over me. Her forearms rest above my head, and I can smell the sugary syrup on his lips.
Edward bends and his lips press against the corner of my mouth. It's chaste, and still, and he's trying to be good, but I so don't want him to be.
He presses me so hard against the wall the cement scrapes my scalp but I welcome the feeling. I feel like I'm flying and the pain grounds me. His fingers slide up my hip, to the dip in my waist, over the curve of my breast, and around my throat.
He touches his lips, feather soft, against my chin, then my jaw. As he presses his forehead against mine, bent down and shrouding us in his own personal bubble, we breathe into each other. His sighs taste like arousal, sugar, and bad boy, and I crave it so desperately.
"Get a room!" an old man calls from down the alley, slamming a door shut.
I can't help but let out a giggle and fall into his chest.
He laughs with me and pulls me up. "Come on, let's get out of here."
On our walk back to the car, my fingers touch his briefly, but I don't pull away. In the next second, his fingers dance with mine as we walk quietly down the street. It doesn't last forever, not even a minute, but it's something.
Edward Cullen held my hand in the streets of Port Angeles.
And it's a shock I'll never forget.
~!~
"Let's get a hotel," Edward says as we arrive.
"What, no! Edward, we have school tomorrow."
"We can just stay for the afternoon."
"No."
"I'm sorry, what was that?" he asks in disbelief.
"I said no."
Edward turns in his seat and shakes his head. "Why, Bella, I don't believe that's a word in your vocabulary today."
He ignores all my comments, questions, and concerns as he thumbs through and types on his phone. After twenty minutes of silence, Edward pulls back onto the road and then off an exit, stopping in front of another store.
"I'll be back," he says.
He's in the store for fifteen minutes before coming out with two bags and a fat smile.
"What?" I ask.
"I just can't wait to see you in this," he says, tossing the bags in the back.
"What is it, Edward?"
He smirks and glances over at me. "Remember that little maid outfit?"
"No fucking way, Edward Cullen!"
He laughs fully. Head back, grabbing his stomach. The kind of laugh where I can see all his teeth.
It feels good.
It sounds good.
He plugs an address into his car, and we take off, but it's not back to Forks, and I know better than to even ask, so I wait patiently until he pulls off the exit and into an unfamiliar little town.
When he turns into Olympic Spa and Resorts, I almost cry.
Why?
"Edward what are we doing here?"
He shrugs and steps out of the car, and I have no choice but to follow him.
The receptionist smiles at Edward and checks us in.
"We upgraded to the suite," he says, smiling back at the middle-aged receptionist.
"Absolutely, Mr. Cullen. Room with a view and king sized bed or second floor with two queens?" she asks, typing quickly into the computer.
"Room with a view," he tells her.
We're checked in, prepaid, and headed up the elevator with Edward's hands full of bags.
"Nine," he says gesturing to the buttons.
I press it and step back. Two couples hop on and then hop off by the time we reach floor nine.
When Edward opens the door to the room, I can't help the gasp that comes out. A kitchenette to the right, a full living room straight ahead, a balcony next to the kitchenette, and double doors heading into the bedroom make up the suite.
Inside the bedroom sits a huge four post bed, loveseat, TV, balcony, bathroom, and a jacuzzi tub.
"It's not a personal swimming pool," Edward says next to me, "but it's something, right?"
"Edward, how much did this cost?" I ask.
He shakes his head and looks down shyly before responding. "This isn't coming out of your half from yesterday. I used my own money."
"But… why?" I ask, dumfounded.
He shrugs, scratching the back of his neck, glancing at me. It's awkward for him, I can tell, so I just smile and thank him, and let it go.
"I can pick you back up tomorrow. They do late check outs, so you'll be able to relax and chill out."
He explains as I walk around.
This is mine for the night.
Edward bought this for me for the night.
I remember when he asked what I'd make him do if I won the 24 hour bet. I told him I was going to make him buy me a hotel room. He's using his win to give me what I want. It's the second time today this thought crosses my mind, and when I turn around, Edward stands directly behind me.
He's waiting but not expectantly. Edward's patient as I look around, afraid to touch.
I finish my tour and walk over to him. Suddenly, my arms grip around his waist and I hug him to me, snuggling into his chest, and tearing up.
"Thank you," I whisper, sighing into his scent. "Thank you."
Edward's body freezes for a moment before he relaxes and succumbs to the hug. He drops the bags at his sides and envelopes me.
"Take the night to relax. No one but me knows that you're here," he says softly.
I nod in understanding.
Aro doesn't know I'm here.
I'm safe.
Looking around and seeing the jacuzzi tub, a thought dawns on me. "I don't have a swimsuit," I tell him regretfully.
Edward takes the bags and sets them on the bed before dumping one out. A black one piece and a navy blue two piece.
"You really thought of it all, huh?" I joke, fingering the two piece. The bottoms are cut high enough, so maybe my little belly won't hang out of these ones.
"Try it, Bella."
"No, I can't," I tell him self-consciously.
"It wasn't a suggestion." Edward walks toward me and picks up the suit, dropping it in my palm, before routing around in a bag and grabbing some trunks for himself.
"You're staying?" I ask, surprised.
"For now. If that's okay?"
"Yeah." I nod enthusiastically. "Yeah, of course."
He shuts the door and I strip. The longline, triangle top stops just at my waist, so I feel a little more comfortable than I thought. But these bottoms? Oh my god.
The full coverage in front sits higher on my hips, making my bottom half look curvier than it is. The back isn't exactly as full coverage, but not quite a thong. My ass cheeks are out, but I'll just throw a towel around my hips, and it'll be okay.
When I open the bedroom doors, towel around my hips, I smile towards Edward. He's in navy blue and coral striped trunks. His towel wraps around his neck, not his hips.
Edward shakes his head and holds out his hand. He wants me to drop the towel. When I shake my head softly, nervous to let my security blanket go, he raises his brows.
I take a look at the tattoos across his chest, his ribs, one on his hip as I slowly take the towel off and hand it to him.
Edward purses his lips and walks around me, taking a much longer time from behind. Self-consciously, I look down and fold my hands together. He doesn't judge me, he ogles me.
"Let's go before I fuck you against the wall," he sighs, wrapping the towel around his waist for a very prominent reason.
In the elevator, Edward drapes the towel around my back, and I give him a soft, "thanks."
We're the only one in the pool room, and I head right over to the stairs. The frigid water laps at my legs. With a loud squeak, I dive right in.
Water wets my hair and my eyelashes and the freckles on my belly. I tread water on my back, kicking my legs, and floating around.
My ears under the water cause a white noise effect and if Edward's talking to me, I don't hear.
With eyes shut, I flow where the water takes me. Weightless, safe, carefree. This is what Edward's given to me.
Edward.
I straighten in the water and look around. He's relaxed in the chair, legs spread, slouched down. He watches me easily. Boredom absent from his face, instead I find curiosity.
"Come in," I tell him. "The water feels good."
Edward simply watches as I tread water, float on my back, and swim around. He bites his lip before standing and joining me.
"Fucking liar," he laughs, popping up from the water after he dives in.
His hair lays flat on his forehead, dripping water into his eyes, but not for long. He brushes the hair from his face, and it sticks up everywhere. No matter what he does, it's all over.
"J said the L word to your girl," Edward tells me, swimming neck high into the deep end with me.
"No way," I say in excitement. "So are they, like, together now?"
Edward shakes his head. "Don't think so."
My eyes roll and I lay back in the water again.
"They're so annoying," I say loudly.
Edward swims around me, creating waves to help float my body around.
After a while, Edward and I race back and forth, seeing who's quicker, who can do a somersault or backflip, and who has the best dive.
No surprise that it's Edward every time.
"You should be a swimmer," I tell him, swimming to the shallower end so I can stand on my feet.
"Too much work. Plus, I'd have to quit smoking."
"And you don't want to?" I ask.
"Not really."
"Ever?"
Edward shrugs lazily. "Probably someday, but not right now."
"What's your therapist say about that?" I ask apprehensively. I never really ask, he always tells. Maybe this is too much.
His eyes lock onto mine. They're bluer than this water.
"She tells me to get a medical marijuana card when I'm 18."
Edward stands taller, resting against the edge of the pool at the 5 feet mark.
I don't really have a comment about that, so I ignore him.
"What's this one about?" I ask, pointing to the little slice of pizza on his bicep. It's the size of a dime, and I've never seen it before.
"J's favorite food," he says easily.
"Does he have yours?"
"Yeah. Lasagna."
I giggle thinking about where on his body a tiny piece of lasagna could be.
"My mom made such a good lasagna, remember?" I ask.
"That's why it's my favorite," he tells me.
It makes me smile and my heart sore and the blood rush to my cheeks. I really wish I had that recipe book of hers.
I lift Edward's arm. He lets me fold him and maneuver his limb in any way I want. Edward lets me discover all the years I've missed through the tattoos on his body.
Under the pizza is a portrait of a house the size of a game card. "What about this?"
"My grandma Masen's house. I spent half the summer with her every year after my mom died. She passed when I was fifteen."
"I'm sorry, Edward," I tell him, touching the green cape cod inked into his skin. I never met her, but he used to talk about her sometimes.
"Shit happens," he says nonchalantly, like it wasn't his mom's mom.
I look into his eyes and can tell he doesn't want to talk about it, so I move on. On his left arm, I trail my fingers up the dark inked trees and look on his inner bicep where more and more little tattoos hide between the big ones. One in particular catches my eye.
"A unicorn?" I question.
Edward looks down at my hands on his arm as if he forgot about it until this moment. "I lost a bet."
I nod and release his arm as he looks down into me. I wish he'd pull me in and kiss me, but I know he can't. The more he kisses me, the more I want more.
So I climb the steps slowly, dripping water everywhere, and turn my head to look back at Edward.
"Wanna go in the hot tub?" I ask.
He eats my body up glancing from the backs of my thighs to my bottom, all the way up my back to my face. I know he can see my rolls and my ass and the way my thighs touch, but whatever. There's nothing I can do about it now.
He doesn't move until I pad my way over to the hot tub, turn on the jets, and settle in. When he arrives, Edward climbs in across from me, arms spread around the back, and he relaxes into the warmth.
"This is nice, isn't it?" I ask over the jets. "I can't believe no one's in here right now."
"It is nice," he agrees quietly.
We talk some more about Jasper and Alice, a little about Aro, and a lot about our past.
"You used to have this little freckle on the back of your neck," Edward says. "It was a perfect, dark circle that just appeared out of nowhere one day. I remember we were walking home from the meadow, and I noticed it while you were ahead of me. I never said anything." Edward smiles at the memory.
"Why not?" I ask.
"I wanted it to be just mine, I guess."
"The meadow," I say out loud.
"I haven't been back since…"
Since my mom died. Since his mom died.
"Do you want to?" I ask.
"Sometimes I do. I want to see what's changed, if it's still how I remember it, or if it's a piece of overgrown shit now. Sometimes I don't. I want it to stay perfect in my mind the way we left it."
I nod because I get that.
Turning and pulling my long hair up into a bun, I ask, "is it still there?"
"What?"
"The freckle, Edward. Is the freckle still there?"
He leans closely, pushing frizzy hair up the nape of my neck and presses on the base of my nape.
"Yes," he tells me.
I turn and smile, proud for some reason.
"Happiness looks good on you," Edward says seriously.
His words make me blush and slightly uncomfortable.
"Thank you," I tell him. "For everything."
Edward nods in acceptance. His eyes go from my eyes to my lips, and I know he wants to kiss me as much I want to kiss him. So I do it.
I swim over next to him, sit closely, and wait for him to pull away.
Edward never does.
Instead, Edward leans in and presses a kiss to my waiting lips. Soft and gentle, Edward presses his soft lips to mine over and over before giving me his tongue. He pets my lips with it before I open up, letting him in. Our tongues dance together in a way I desperately want our bodies too.
Soft and gentle eventually turns into heated and panting. His tongue against mine battles for control. I know he needs control, and I'll give it to him, but I need more.
Without thinking, I'm throwing a leg over his lap, straddling his center. Resting on my knees, my body towers over his now, and his head hangs back while I kiss him from above. Edward's hands go directly to my hips and I half expect him to push me off, but he pushes me down instead.
Our centers are flush, and while I can feel exactly how hard he is, he can't feel me. If he could, he'd know exactly how wet he's made me and it's not because of the hot tub.
Lower than before, Edward kisses me straight on and hard. His mouth sucks in my tongue and his slides against it slowly as his hands help me grind against him. I can feel his erection to the side. The waistband and the way he's positioned prevent it from sitting straight which is what I need for any pleasure at all.
Frustrated, I pull back.
"Edward—" I start, but he shuts me up by sliding lower in the hot tub, allowing more room for his hard on and thus easier access to grind myself against. When I roll my hips and the shaft connects with my clit, I break away with a gasping grunt.
Edward attacks my throat with his teeth, nipping and pulling at my skin.
His hands glide up from my hips to my waist to the underneath of my breast.
"Can I, Bella?" he asks breathily, and I nod, circling my hips over and over to get the feeling back.
He pushes his hips into me the same moment his palm slides up my belly and grips my breast. He cups it in his palm, feeling the weight, before sliding the cup over to the side and letting my breast bounce free.
It hangs swollen and puffy from the water. My erect nipple pulls the skin taught, begging for his lips, his teeth, his fingers, his anything.
I watch as he licks his lips, his cock twitches under me. Just as he goes to reach for it, the door to the sauna opens, and we can hear a group of old women before we can see them.
Edward's head falls and he lets out an annoyed, "fuuuuck," before covering me up and guiding me to his side.
I'm way too focused on the feeling of him between my legs, pressed so close to me, that I can barely even function.
Edward sort of chuckles when he looks over.
"You look properly fucked and I never even touched you," he smiles.
In the next twenty minutes, Edward and I say nothing. Quite frankly, I couldn't make words right now if I tried. When a family of five come in, loud and rowdy, Edward and I silently agree to leave.
He changes back into his clothes while I throw my bathing suit on the counter in the bathroom and put on the waffle knit robe hanging on the hook. It's plush and over sized and warm.
"I'll see you tomorrow," he says, kissing the top of my head before heading out.
In this big hotel all by myself, I sort of freak out. The first thing I do though is order room service from the restaurant downstairs.
Then I call Alice.
"Bella, I love him," she gushes. "I mean, I didn't tell him that, but I love him."
"Why didn't you say it?"
"Because it was about him last night. He did something he's never done ever, open up fully, and I didn't want to cloud it by saying it back. I want him to remember the night he told a girl he loved her for the first time always."
I think for a minute about compassionate and kind Alice's actions are. "That's a really good idea, Allie."
"And then I rode the shit out of his dick. But that's beside the point," she says with a giggle.
"Uhm, Edward kissed me last night." I drop the bomb finally, and it feels so good to say it.
"What?"
"And then I kissed him later that night."
"What?"
"And then we dry humped in the hotel hot tub."
"…what? You're in a hotel? Is he there? Are you safe? What's going on?"
I try and stop a panicked Alice, but there's no use, so I tell her the story from to start to finish. A speechless Alice sits dumbstruck and silent before she slyly asks, "so are you going to use the toys he bought you?"
"Probably not," I tell her with a nervous laugh.
"You should," she urges. "Call him up while using them and jerk off together. Phone sex is fucking hot, Bella."
"That's so freaking awkward," I say and I can pretty much here the shrug she gives.
"So no school for you tomorrow?" she questions. "What about the science project? It's due tomorrow."
"Oh my god, the project! I have to call Edward," I tell her before hanging up. How could we both forget about the project!
I dial Edward's number quickly. It's been two hours since he left, he must have made it home by now. He doesn't answer, it makes me just a little nervous. I call him a second time ten minutes later and still nothing, so I shoot him a text.
The Bio project is due tomorrow, and we didn't do it. Call me!
He never responds. Maybe he fell asleep, I don't know. After stressing over the grade, I figure there's nothing I can do about it now.
Walking into the bedroom and spotting the bags on the bead, I search through them to see.
Edward brought up the bag with the clothes. My jeans and blouses are in there. The bag with the sex toys lays next to it. Of course he would leave these here.
Next is another bag that I hadn't seen before now, and when I open it, my heart literally swells. I can feel the extra blood pump to calm my soaring heart. Inside the bag, folded perfectly, is the white sweater dress with the thin, brown belt.
Tucked between white fabric and the belt is a note that reads A dress fit for a Princess— E. Cullen
When did he buy this? He must have been watching as I shopped. I only went back to it 30 times.
I'm not embarrassed to admit this gesture makes me cry.
~!~
I spend the next two hours retrying on my clothes, the dress, and snacking on the million-dollar candy bars in the kitchen. I take a bath in the oversized tub, and lay naked on the bed. It's nearing midnight and I'm wired.
Deciding now's as good a time as any to pull out the toys from earlier, I find the Satisfier Pro has to be charged, so I plug it in, but the Pink Pleaser is ready to use immediately.
I've been so hyped up over the last twenty-four hours, so I decide to let loose and relax. Guiding the thin, pink toy around my nipples, then down my belly, I turn on the vibration and nearly die as I rest it between my lips. The gasp almost hurts my throat it's so forceful.
"Oh," I sigh softly. I'm almost ready to come now, but then my phone rings and it scares the shit out of me.
"Hello?" I answer, out of breath.
"Were you sleeping?" Edward asks lazily. He's high and light and soft. I can tell already.
"No," I answer honestly. The opposite.
"I'm skipping school tomorrow too, so don't worry about the project."
"Why are you skipping?" I ask curiously.
"I have some shit to do, and then I have to pick you up, so I'm skipping."
"What shit?" I question further.
"Just… some shit."
I know it's about Aro, so I don't press. Whatever he can do to make him go away is fine with me.
"Okay," I tell him, running my hands up my body to my budding breasts.
"What are you wearing, Bella?" he asks, and I can hear him pull from a joint before exhaling slowly. I don't know why, but I wish so badly I was smoking with him. Closing my eyes, I can picture the way his throat looks as he extends his head back and blows into the sky.
"Nothing," I answer honestly, mostly because I'm dreaming about the way he looks when he smokes.
"That right?" he asks. "And what were you doing when I called?"
"Oh, nothing really." That's a lie, but I'm way too embarrassed to tell him.
"My 24 hours aren't up, Princess."
"I can't say no Edward. Nothing about telling the truth."
"Is that how you want to play it? Okay. Pull out a toy Bella."
I'm quiet for a moment, nervous, awkward. I want to, I really want to, but I'm afraid.
"I think it'll help break the ice a little, Bella. This way, I'm not tempted to just, you know," he says, trailing off.
"No, I don't know. Tell me, Edward," I ask, hoping he can explain his honesty.
"If we do it like this, through the phone, separate, I won't be tempted to… just… go straight for it… you know, like, fucking. I almost did it today in the hot tub. My fingers were going down to move your bottoms to the side before those old ladies showed up. You're lucky, Bella," he says. It's an honest admission, and I can respect it. Edward doesn't tell me this to humiliate me or take advantage of me. He's warning me that his impulses are often out of his control, and we need to be careful.
"We can try," I tell him timidly. "But I'm nervous, Edward."
"It's okay. I am a little bit too," he admits, and it makes me feel even better.
"What are you, uh, wearing?" I ask quietly.
"A pair of gym shorts."
"Nothing else?"
"Nah."
"Oh."
"Should I take them off?" he asks, letting me lead.
"Uhm, yeah, please."
My innocence makes me laugh a little. I sound so stupid, and this definitely isn't going to be sexy at all, but we can try if he wants.
"What are you doing, Edward?"
"What are you doing, Bella?"
"Nothing."
"Will you touch yourself?" he whispers into the phone. "Please?"
I don't say anything, but I trail my hand down to my smooth mound and slip a finger between my lips. It's slick, and wet, and already swollen from the Pink Pleaser.
A tiny moan falls from my lips as I close my eyes and touch myself, thinking about Edward in his bedroom with that huge bulge in his hand.
"God damn," he sighs heavily. "Every little thing you do turns me on, Bella."
His admission gives me goosebumps. I wasn't expecting it, but it's welcomed, nonetheless. "Like what?" I ask, circling my clit softly.
"Your laugh, the way you walk in the halls, your long fucking hair, the way you bite the tip of your pencil when you're thinking, your tongue when it wets your lips, your fucking moans when you sleep. All of it, Bella."
"Edward—" I start, but there's commotion in the background on his end like he's dropped the phone, then there's muttering, and then there's irritation in his voice
"Bella, I have to call you back. I'm sorry—don't stop though, okay? Make yourself feel good."
We hang up quickly after, and I'm a little disappointed. I wanted to see what that may have been like, to do that over the phone with Edward. What he said made a lot of sense. It's probably safer for both of us. If what he said about earlier is true, that he was close to just moving my bottoms out of the way, then we should really work on not jumping the gun. Because honestly, I wouldn't have stopped him earlier.
I'm not scared to lose it, nor am I scared to lose it to Edward. What I am scared of is losing it to Edward in a place and a situation that's impulsive because we're in the moment. Like on his kitchen counter or in a Hotel and Spa's public hot tub.
I can fantasize about that though, and it's exactly what I do. I place the pink toy on my clit and turn it on. When I close my eyes, I'm above Edward and he's pressing me down. As I sink, he fills me fully and then some. The bulge I've seen let's me know he's very much endowed.
I gladly and unashamedly come to the image of Edward pressed into me, waves lapping at the side of hot tub, as I ride him.
~!~
Edward never does call back, and by 1:30 am, I'm sleeping. Snuggled deeply in the depths of a large, plush, down blanket and five hotel pillows, I miss his call at two.
When I wake, fully rested, the next morning, my phone dings with a few texts, each makes me smile more than the one previously.
Goodnight, 2:03 am
My pillows still smell like you, 2:10 am
And I really fucking like it, 2:11 am
Your hair is so pretty. Please never cut it, 2:24 am
I wish you were here so we could play twenty fucking questions, Bella, because I have so many, 2:28 am
He must have fallen asleep after because that's the last message.
Good morning. Let's play now. I'll start. Am I a good kisser?
Asking over text is so easy compared to in person or on the phone. My confidence skyrockets when I'm not face to face with the answer.
It's just before nine, and I'm took tired to get dressed before the free breakfast is over, so I end up showering, lounging in the robe, and packing up in the meantime.
Yes. Did you like last night before I had to hang up? he texts back while I pick today's outfit from the clothes we bought yesterday.
Did I like last night? Like isn't a strong enough word, but it's easy so I use it.
I really liked it, and I think we should do it again. Did you… finish?
My cheeks heat as I type, and my nerves startle briefly as I press send.
When I got home, fuck yeah I did. Did you, Bella?
I glance at the toys laying on the nightstand.
Yes. What did you think about?
Alice would be proud of my brazenness.
Your lips around my cock.
My stomach flips as I read it. He's so open and honest and unashamed. It might be my favorite quality of his.
What did you think about, Bella.
I take a minute before responding. Wanting to be like him, I type of messages but then delete them because they just don't sound right coming from me.
I know it's difficult but try. I will never judge he texts back when I don't respond.
So I do as he asks no matter how hot my face gets, no matter how embarrassing or new this is for me. I try because he asks me to.
I thought about what might have happened if you really did slide my bottoms to the side in the hot tub. I wouldn't have said no.
Edward's response isn't as quick as I thought it might be.
Let's talk about that in person. I have some shit to do, and now my dick is raging hard now. I'll be there around two.
That's the last I hear from Edward until he shows up at the hotel with a black eye, a cracked, swollen lip, and eyes filled with mischief.
