Wow, you guys are amazing. Thanks for all the kindness and love. Hearing your guys' theories is so fun! I've never written an Edward like this, and while it's difficult sometimes, it's also really fun. Hope you're enjoying the characters as much as I am :)

Read and review!


"Edward, your face," I say quietly as he waltzes past me into the suite like nothings wrong.

"I know. Handsome, right?" His teasing tones edges with flirtation, but there's more to it.

"Are you okay?" I ask, reaching out to touch the still swollen cut on his lips. It's fresh.

His eyes glance down and away like my solace makes him uncomfortable. "You should see the other guy."

"Who is the other guy?"

He shakes his head and looks around, trying to think of anything he can to change the subject. I see it in his eyes and body language. Edward's holding something back.

"Did you have a good time, Princess?" he asks, walking to the bags and gathering them up. It's not teasing, but it's not light and flirty like it's been.

"Yes," I tell him honestly. "Thank you."

He smiles small but genuine. "Ready, Bella?"

~!~

On the way home, we stop for a quick lunch and to pick up some magazines to finish the project for biology.

"Alice said there was a fire drill that lasted almost all of Bio, so they didn't do anything but hand in the project."

"That's a long ass fire drill."

"I guess someone pulled it, so they had to do an investigation or something."

Edward dips his fries into my milkshake while we chat.

"Are you going to tell me about the fight?" I ask seriously.

He shrugs. "You'll find out soon enough."

He isn't usually this evasive, so something must really be up. "Was it Jasper?"

Edward laughs lightly and shakes his head. "No. But he was there."

I rack my brain trying to think who it could be. Maybe Mike, but Edward wouldn't have a motive. Jake? Certainly motive enough there. Maybe he finally got to Aro…

"When you figure it out," he starts, swallowing a bite of his sandwich easily, "don't be too pissed. It had to be done for… reasons."

"And what are the reasons?"

"Call me when you figure out who it was. Then we can talk."

My eyes roll at his comment. "You're being purposefully vague."

His winks and my belly jumps, free falling slowly.

"That's a good color on you," Edward tells me as we walk over to his car.

I'm in a dark blue t-shirt, knotted at the side because it's too long, and a pair of jeans.

"Oh, uhm, thanks." It's hard for me to hear compliments. It's harder for me to hear compliments from Edward.

The ride home flies by. I bide the time ripping out pictures I find in magazines of our potential kid. Widow's peaks, attached ear lobes, eye color, hair color, and a cleft chin.

"We can draw on the dimples and freckles," he tells me, looking over at the pictures I've ripped out.

"Who has freckles?" I ask, surprised.

"You."

"Edward, I don't have freckles."

"Yes you do, Bella."

"No I don't."

"I've looked at them long enough the last few weeks. They're faint but they're there. Trust me."

I shake my head at the thought of Edward close enough to study the faint freckles I might have. "Okay."

At his house, Dr. Cullen walks around casually in jeans and sweater. He sees me and his eyes light up in both confusion and excitement.

"Isabella, pleasure to see you on healthy terms," he says with a smile. "Edward, did we not decide that you're grounded?"

"Dad, she's here for a school project, remember? Or should I take her home and then we'll both fail?"

Dr. Cullen nods in understanding. "Okay, son, you've made your point. You need to put more Vaseline on that cut, Edward. It's looking dry."

"Yes, sir." Edward's beyond irritated. Whatever happened, Dr. Cullen knows about it.

"I'll be around if you need anything," he says before walking away.

Edward and I get to work at the dining room table. We bought a poster board, art supplies, and Edward even goes to grab a small chest filled with his baby pictures that we can maybe work off of as a base to tape the pictures of our dominant traits onto.

We look through a few at a time and nix the poor-quality ones and any newborn baby photos. When Edward pulls out a picture and stairs at it with a smile, I sort of peak over. I'm not sure if it's his mom or not, but I want to make sure I give him time to process whatever he needs.

Instead of his mom and him, it's me and him.

It must have been taken without either of our knowledge, and it looks to be just before that summer happened. We're sitting outside in my old backyard smelling the old blue flowers that used to grow.

I remember this day.

My mom went in for radiation and Dr. and Mrs. Cullen watched me while parents were gone. It wasn't out of the ordinary, and the only reason I remember is because Edward picked me a pile of weeds that I gave to my mom that night when she told me she was done with radiation. Happiness filled my heart. In that moment I thought she was done because it worked not because it didn't work.

"I love those wildflowers," I tell him dreamily.

"They're weeds," he says honestly. I know now that they are weeds, but when I was eight, you couldn't tell me any differently that they weren't the most beautiful, magnificent flowers that the earth planted just for me.

"That's my life," I half joke. "I definitely live in the weeds, huh?"

Edward says nothing as he filters through the pictures. Some of his dad, some of his mom, some of him. He had such curly, copper hair and the fairest skin I've ever seen. He resembled a porcelain baby doll.

"You could have been a baby model," I tell him absently.

"What about now?" he asks, looking over at the picture I'm holding.

"Eh," I joke with a shrug.

Edward bumps his shoulder with mine and we laugh together. His heads big enough already. I don't need to feed into it.

Over the next hour, we spread pictures of Edward out onto the table and pick the best one. His third-grade school photo turns out to be the winner based on the quality and size and because it shows a very cute, very toothless Edward.

I decorate the photo with pictures I tore out from the magazines, and we finish the project by embellishing the sides with information.

"This actually turned out pretty fucking cool," Edward says easily, looking at me as I write our names on the bottom.

"Edward, that kind of language in front of a lady won't get you a girlfriend," Dr. Cullen tells him.

"Good thing I'm not looking for one, dad," Edward says easily, but it sort of stuns me for a moment and I have to busy my hands to keep from sitting awkwardly.

Does he realize what he just said? A quick glance up to Edward, who's looking down at me, tells me maybe he does. There's a look of something in his eyes, but his dad's presence stops me from overthinking.

"Will you be staying for dinner, Isabella?"

"No. Thank you though," I say immediately.

Honestly, I shouldn't be hurt, but I am. If Edward doesn't want a girlfriend, then what the hell are we doing? Why put ourselves through this? Why am I wasting my time and my heart on a boy with no end game? Then I ask myself the biggest question of all… what did I think was going to happen?

"I think maybe it's time I get going, actually," I say quietly, standing to signal to Edward that I'd like to leave.

He gets it because he stands, too.

"There and back, Edward," his dad warns.

Edward rolls his eyes and nods. "Yes, sir."

In the car, before he even starts it, Edward turns toward me.

"I had to say that," he explains. "He's been on me about leading you on, meeting expectations, not breaking your heart. He doesn't—" Edward pauses and shakes his head. "I didn't mean that, Bella."

I understand what he's saying, I know there's a lot he needs to process through inside and with his family, but it doesn't take the sting away. "Mean what?" I ask, needing to hear it.

"That I'm not looking for a girlfriend."

Too afraid to meet his glance, I play with the edge of my shirt as I ask, "are you?"

He puts his finger under my chin and tilts my head up so I'm looking right at him. "No," he says easily, but before my heart can plummet, he finishes with, "I'm looking for a Princess."

My belly flutters in the best way, and the smile on my face immediately turns my sadness into gladness. "That was so cheesy, Edward."

"You turn me into fucking fondu, Bella." Edward shakes his head and straightens, turning on the car and driving to my house. "But don't tell anyone I said that."

We're silent until we cross the railroad tracks. Then, he talks.

"Go in through your front door."

I glance at him like he's grown another head. "My doors are locked, Edward."

He shakes his head. "The code is 1031"

"Code?"

"It'll make sense when you see it."

"What are you—"

"Just trust me, Bella."

Edward looks at me as he pulls up to my house. My dad's car sits parked out front and the ball in my stomach drops like a brick.

"Edward—"

"Look at me." He's stern where I'm soft.

I do. I look at him. I beg him not to make me do it. I plead for him to understand.

"He won't hurt you," Edward says slowly. His honest eyes nearly bring tears to my eyes. "I can see your room from here. When you're in your room and safe, open your window and wave at me so I know. I won't leave until I see that."

My body won't move. I'm stuck still, glued to this seat. Fear eats at my marrow, and I wish I was stronger, but I'm not.

"Edward, I'm scared."

Edward pulls me in until I can feel the honesty on his breath. His blues meet mine.

"You are strong, Bella. Never let anyone think they have the upper hand."

His kiss on my cheek lingers softly. The burn of his lips scorch, but I welcome the feeling.

I open the car door, grab my bags and head inside slowly.

My feet sound like bricks on the rickety, old wood of the porch. The beat up, dented door squeaks as I open it. The house sits exactly as I left it. My dad occupies a chair at the table in the kitchen. He's looking through a phonebook and crossing out random names. I didn't even know they still made phonebooks. His foot taps quickly, but his hands are steady. Is he sober?

When he looks up, my gasp almost hurts.

His left eye swells three times its size, and the outer corner has 4 stitches. His nose has a steri-bridge cover and is bloody around the nostrils. His lips are torn to shreds and there are bruises peppering his face and neck down under the worn fabric of his t-shrit. My dad looks two punches away from death.

Edward.

"What are you looking at?" he asks irritably, grumbling in annoyance.

"What happened?" I ask automatically, regretting those two words immediately.

He stands so quickly I barely hear the scrape of metal on the linoleum. He walks quickly towards me, and I cower against the cabinets, covering my face with my hands. Instead of the sudden blows to different parts of my body, there's a whoosh of air and an absence of my dad.

Opening my eyes, he's gone. I don't stick around to find out if he's coming back.

I climb the stairs and turn to find my door with a touchpad installed. This must be what the code is for. When I type in the code, there's a small noise before it opens. I grab the doorknob and push. On the other side is a switch to flip that locks it, so I do so and pull my phone out.

"Hello?" he answers immediately.

"Edward," I manage, tears lining my eyes. They feel full and saturated, but I'm not letting them spill yet. I throw open my window and look out.

"Bella." It's easy and thankful.

"Thank you," I whisper.

Edward drives off but stays connected on the phone.

"J and I installed it today. It was actually Alice's idea. Crazy bitch is actually brilliant."

"Alice knows?" I panic.

Edward's silent for a moment or two. "She sort of always knew, Bella. She didn't want to make you uncomfortable by telling you." I can't speak because now I'm actually really crying. "We're the only ones with the code, Bella. It'll notify anyone with the app if someone even tries to get in by using any combination. It'll have to do for now. It runs by battery, but one of the keys is in your purple sock in your drawer. The one with the dogs on it," Edward explains as he drives, and I open my sock drawer to find the key where he explains. "I thought about cameras, but I think that's a little too invasive for you."

I nod while slipping the key onto my keychain. He's right. That would make me uncomfortable.

"The lock is a great start. I'm… I'm really thankful to have such amazing friends," I tell him honestly.

Edward accepts but doesn't acknowledge.

"Did you see Charlie?" Edward asks, and I can hear the gloat in his voice.

"Yeah, he looks like shit. What happened?"

"I was just following orders from my boss."

"Your boss? Aro made you—"

"No. Aro's boss."

"Oh. Wow," I start to say as the pieces fall into place. "Edward, how does your boss's boss know about my dad?"

Edward's silence scares me a little. "He's been working with Aro trying to make and distribute their own synthetic drug. We met last week with the big boss, Dimitri, and he pretty much told your dad to watch himself. Well, your dad didn't head the warning, so we sent a little message. But, Bella, we were a little message. I'm not sure the next one's going to be as kind to him as we were." Edward explains like it's politics, and I guess it sort of is. "I—I don't know how you feel about it, Bella. I don't know if I should say sorry or what. I gave him a little more than Dim asked as payback for everything he's done to you over the years. Fucking idiot started crying."

His comments scare me, but I ignore the latter until later when I'm able to process better. "What will happen?"

"Dimitri told Aro to stop and he hasn't. I haven't seen or heard from Aro since Saturday night which is unusual after such heavy sales at the party. He's either licking his wounds or…"

"Or what, Edward?" He doesn't answer. "Or what, Edward?" I ask again, louder.

"Or I don't know if he'll bother you again."

The thought should relieve me, but the idea of Edward's boss capable of doing that outweighs any relief.

"Your big boss… is he… are you… will he hurt you?" I ask quietly.

Edward takes a moment to respond. "Nah," he says, cocky. "Dim loves me and Jasper for whatever fucking reason."

I want to ask how much longer he's going to do this, but I don't because I'm way too scared of the truth so I'll just live in this fairytale land.

"I'll see you at school tomorrow, Bella. I'm home, and I'm sure my dad wants to lecture me on the amount of time I was gone."

We hang up and I look around out. Edward and Jasper were in this room. Nothings out of place, not even the dirty laundry in the corner.

I put my new clothes away, smiling at the pretty white dress again. Where the hell am I going to wear it? When I pull out my phone, I have a missed text.

Hey, neighbor

Thanks for the lock, Jasper

Thank your friend. Her idea. You doin ok?

Better than okay. I heard you looooove Alice I tease with a smile

I heard you kissssed Edward

Definitely.

Bout time.

I don't say anything back. It feels good to leave it at that.

Instead, I send Edward a text.

I never thanked you for the dress, Edward. I love it. I appreciate all you've done. Thank you.

He responds sometime later between painting my nails blue and picking out my clothes for tomorrow.

Can't wait to see it on you. And then on my bedroom floor.

His words will never not make me blush. I take a shower and think about a response. What can I say that might make him react the same way he makes me react?

I don't get to think of one because he's calling me as soon as I put the code into my door.

"Hello?"

"Bella, someone's trying to get in."

"Oh, it was me, Edward. I was taking a shower."

He sighs and relaxes as I explain. "Thank fuck. Shower huh? So are you naked?"

I giggle and nod. "Yes, I usually shower naked, Edward."

"Hm," he says quietly. "What are you going to put on?"

"Probably a t-shirt, maybe some shorts."

"Maybe?"

"I don't like to wear a whole lot of clothes to bed. Too constricting."

"My kind of girl," he teases, and I bet if I were there, he'd wink at me.

We chat for a few more minutes before his dad interrupts and he says he'll call me back, but I don't expect it. It's already going on nine, and I'm honestly pretty tired, so I triple check the lock and my window, crawl into bed, and shut out the lights. My head isn't on the pillow more than two minutes when he texts.

Twenty questions again, Bella. I have so many for you. What turns you on the most?

I actually really like these games with him. I can explain myself better in text since I have time to think, and I don't get as nervous since it's not face to face.

About you? Your confidence. Your tattoos. The way you say my name. When you kiss me. When you pull my hair. The way you smile when I say something that isn't dirty, but your mind automatically goes there. What about me turns you on? I ask so that there is no misunderstanding. I don't care what turns him on about other girls. I want to know what turns him on about me.

My tattoos? Fuck I love that. Your eyes and the way you bite your lip. Your fucking curves are killer, Bella. Your body in that bathing suit was fire. Your long ass hair and the way it shines. Your innocence and the way you gasp in my mouth when my fingers touch you. And fucking hell those nipples.

I almost forgot he saw them. Closing my eyes, I think back to yesterday when he pulled my bikini top and my breasts bounced out. I wonder how it'll feel to have his hands, fingers, lips on my breasts.

You forgot to ask a question I text.

Shit. Sorry. I was picturing your tits. Have you given head before?

Boy, he's being blunt tonight. I thought we already talked about this. He either forgot or is hoping for another reply. I answer honestly though. No, and I wouldn't give it to you. Do you like kissing me.

Hell yeah. And what the fuck do you mean you wouldn't give it to me? Not that I'm expecting you to… just… curious.

I laugh off his sort of frustrated comment. You said you'd never gone down on a girl and you won't go down on a girl. I'm not doing that to you if there's nothing in it for me.

He sends a text back immediately. I never said I wouldn't, Bella, I said it's too personal. I wouldn't mind with you though. What's your favorite position?

Oh shit, here it is. Do I tell him now? Is it easier if I just get it over with?

Fuck fuck fuck.

I type out ten texts before deleting them all. I want to be honest, but is this the best thing to do right now?

I figure yes, it is, so I tell him the truth. It's easier over text, so I hit send and reread my message, hoping he doesn't call me out but knowing he will.

I don't have one.

Okay, so it's not the entire truth, but there's truth in the text. I don't have a favorite position because I've never been in a position that way.

Don't be a prude, Bella. Everyone has a favorite position. I love doggy style. Tell me yours.

I really don't have one, Edward.

Bullshit.

I'm feeling frustrated and upset but I have no one else to blame, so I finish the truth.

I don't have a favorite because I've never done it.

Edward stops responding.

I check my phone every few seconds just to make I haven't missed it somehow.

Doubt eats at me, and I'm in instant regret… until my phone starts to ring.

"Hello?"

"Explain yourself, Bella."

"What do you mean?" I ask, playing dumb. I'm nervous and I know he hears it.

"You don't have a favorite position because you've… never… done what?" he asks slowly, absorbing. I hear the moment things click, but he still wants me to say it.

Licking my lips, I take a deep, shaky breath and explain. "I'm a… you know," I start but he's silent. "I've never had sex," I tell him quietly. I've never been embarrassed about this except for right now. Regret spikes through me and I wish I'd never even brought it up.

"You're a virgin?" he asks quietly.

I nod but he can't see it.

"Bella," he starts but then stops because what do you even say to that? "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I just did."

"This whole time I've been…" Edward trails off quietly. "Bella, I almost fucked your brains out yesterday, and I had no idea. What would have happened? I never even knew…" Edward can't wrap his brain around this fact and if I wasn't so humiliated, it would be endearing.

"I would have let you, Edward. I wanted it just as much as you."

"But, I would have been… and you're a… Bella, your anatomy and my anatomy… I'm pretty…"

Irritation gets the best of me. "Edward, what are you saying? Quit censoring yourself. I'm a virgin not a child."

He takes an annoyed breath before speaking. "I have a big dick, Bella. Do you have any idea how much that would have hurt if I just rammed it into you like I fucking wanted to do?"

"Edward, I'm sure it's not that big," I half joke, trying to knock him down a few pegs. "And besides, nothing happened. And I'm sure after this conversation nothing will happen, so don't even worry about it." Disappointment laces through my words. My voice quivers on accident, and I hope he doesn't hear it.

His silence saddens me.

"Edward, I'm going to go—"

"I never said nothing will happen just because you've never had sex. Can I share something with you?"

"Yes, please." My whisper sounds needy, but I don't care because I freaking am right now.

"I actually fucking like that you're a virgin." We're both quiet. I have nothing to say to that. I'm way too surprised to find the words to form questions. "I know, fucking sick, right? I just like that I'm going to be the only fucking guy to touch you."

"The only guy?" I question.

"Only, first, whatever, Bella. It's going to me. And you're going to fucking remember me."

"Edward," I whisper, and it comes out more as a pant. My belly quivers into my core and my entire center tightens at his words.

"Fuck," he groans louder than I expect, and it surprises me. "My dick is so fucking hard just thinking about it, Bella. Tell me what you want to do. Stay on the phone or hang up? Either way I'm jerking off."

I don't say anything because I can't find my voice. His grunts fill the silence and my hand travels down to my center, spreading arousal across my lips. When my finger slides into my slit, just as it did yesterday, I'm moaning quietly with him.

"Fuuuck," spills from his mouth and it spurs me on. "What are you doing? Are you touching yourself?"

"Yes." It's breathy and soft and catches in my throat as I swipe against my clit.

"I wish I was there so I could watch, Bella. Or touch. Would you let me touch you? I don't know how fucking fast you want to go."

God, I'd let him do way more than touch if he were here. It doesn't scare me to move fast, but it scares me that he might be set back in his progress.

"How fast can you go?" I ask, still touching myself. "You said you could get blowjobs, but can you, like, do stuff to girls?"

"I don't fucking care," he pants and I can hear his fist against his shaft trough the phone. "Tell me what's too far for you so I don't push it. I need to know limits, Bella, because I have none. And you have to set them, Bella, okay?"

"Let's stick to second base," I offer.

"Remind me tomorrow what that is, Bella. Fuck I'm so close. You gonna come, Princess?"

Princess. Why does this word make my core pulse?

But I'm not close enough, so I tell him the truth.

"I can't hold out any longer, Bella. I'm about to bust."

So I whisper the single, dirtiest line I've ever said to anyone. "Come for me."

It does the trick. Edward pants and breathes and curses under his breath. He whispers inaudible things and when he's come down, he sort of laughs.

"Holy fuck."

"What?"

"That was intense," he heaves. "Was it okay, Bella? Did I make you uncomfortable?"

"Edward, I need you to realize something. I'm not a child or a baby or a little girl. We're the same age. Please don't treat me like I'm fragile just because I've never had sex—"

"It's not because of that."

"Then what?"

"I don't want to scare you away. My turn ons aren't shared by a lot of other people, Bella. You might think I'm a freak and never want to see me again."

"Promise me something?"

He sighs and says, "What?"

"Promise me you'll never sensor yourself. Ever. Always be you even if you think I won't like it. I probably will because it's you, Edward."

"I'll try, Bella."

We finish our conversation and when he asks to get me off, I tell him I'm actually pretty tired and I'll take a rain check. The conversation sobered me up, and now I'm barely able to keep my eyes open.

Before we hang up, Edward thanks me for sharing my honest truth with him.

I'm freer than before, and I'm actually glad I did.

Plus it led to the hottest phone sex ever, and, honestly, I can't wait to tell Allie about it.

~!~

School on Tuesday sucks. Victoria uses any excuse to bump into me, and by the seventh time, I've had it.

"Watch where you're going," I tell her.

"You watch where you're going, skank."

Skank? What is she talking about… whatever. I must look like confused because Victoria laughs and walks closer to me.

"Don't forget where you came from, Belly." Victoria uses the nickname Edward used to call me.

She knows. Somehow, Victoria knows.

She says nothing more before walking away with a smile on her beautiful face. I know why she did it, it all makes sense, but it doesn't stop the hurt. It doesn't stop the onslaught of memories from middle school when Edward pointed and laughed, encouraged Victoria to call me chubella, made me cry almost everyday in the bathroom stall.

These memories wound me every minute until I walk into lunch. And then they're gone. Because Edward's sitting at the lunch table with our friends, a tray for him and a tray for me.

"You got me a lunch already?" I ask, sitting down across from him.

"I heard what Vic said to you."

"How?"

He shakes his head. Edward's trying his best to remain calm. His fingers clench tightly before releasing.

"I'm sorry I ever started that nickname," he says with a shake of his head. "I'm sorry for everything, Bella."

I rub my fingertips across my forehead and breathe in. Jasper and Alice watch us with curiosity.

"Can we talk about it later? I don't really want to cry at school." It's a half joke, really, but I'm the only one who laughs.

Edward nods vigorously. "Yeah, of course."

He and I haven't talked since last night and honestly, in the light of day, after the dirty, raunchy, so-freaking-sexy things we did last night, I'm a little bashful.

He pushes my tray of food towards me and looks around for something. When he finds whatever it is, Edward settles back into his chair and eats. Alice chats with me about a party this weekend, but I tell her I don't know.

"I'm sort of partied out," I explain. Last weekend, while it was fun, really exhausted me.

"It'll be really fun, Bella. You have to go! Jasper and Edward aren't even dealing, so they'll be with us the whole time," Alice explains excitedly.

I glance at the boys who talk quietly amongst themselves.

"Where is it?" I ask.

"On the outskirts of Port A. Not as rich, but just as fun. Jasper said these are his favorite parties."

"You're not dealing?" I ask Edward when he turns to glance at me.

He smiles and shakes his head. "Not this time."

"Why?"

Edward purses his lips, contemplates a response, then smirks. "Performance Eval for a new guy."

Jasper laughs to himself. It must be some inside joke, but whatever.

"Ok," I say.

"Ok, you'll come?" Alice asks.

"Yeah."

"Woohoo!" She smiles, dancing in her seat.

I wish so badly that I had Alice's outlook on life, a parent who cares about me, the hope of a future. She's brilliant, and beautiful, and beaming.

Science rolls around Mr. Banner takes one look at mine and Edward's poster and laughs hysterically.

"Very creative," he says with a smile before putting it on his desk.

Edward bumps his shoulder with me and smiles down. His eyes twinkle a blue-green today, and his smile is one thousand watt bright. His hair sticks up, coppery brown, and I think again about what we did last night.

The center of my body pulses and my heart rate quickens. He knows everything. He knows and he likes it.

A huge stressor lifts off my shoulders.

For this time, in this moment, I'm free of the shame that I'm a seventeen-year-old virgin.

Halfway through class, he texts.

Bella.

Yeah?

Just making sure you're paying attention.

Well I'm not anymore now that you're distracting me.

It's fine, we know all this shit anyways. I have more questions.

Okay, Edward.

What do you have last class?

Gym.

Skip it. Meet me outside by the edge of the forest.

Why? I've never skipped.

I watch his shoulders as the bell rings. They're tense before loosening considerably. Be bad for me, Princess.

The statement literally chokes me. I can't breathe, I can't even really see.

How can I be bad? I'm not strong or confident like Victoria. I'm me, and he knows it.

But I do it anyways. I pile my books into my backpack, and I throw it on my shoulder. He's waiting by the time I arrive.

"Hey," he says.

"Hi."

"I want to show you something."

I walk with him into the forest, off the path, through some underbrush and over to a set of extremely large rocks with two sides and a top.

"This is where I hang sometimes when school pisses me off," he explains.

The area is big enough to fit about four people and it's covered by the elements. Trees loom overhead, mossy wet patches grow on rocks, and the sound of flowing water sounds in the distance.

Edward pulls out joint from his backpack and lights up. He takes three long pulls, watching me, studying my movements before passing it over.

It's been awhile since I actually smoked. Like really got high. So when he passes to me, I inhale deeper than I have before.

His brows shoot up.

"You're gonna get fucked up, Princess," he sort of laughs, lighter on his toes since the weed.

He asked for bad, so I'm going to try my best and give it to him. I inhale once more and within a few minutes, I'm as free as Edward.

"Do you work today?" he asks softly.

"Yes."

"Skip it."

"No."

"Why?"

"Why should I?"

Edward walks over to me, stands taller than I've ever seen before, and looks down, he brushes his fingers past my cheeks, down my throat, and over my budding nipples.

"So I can taste these."

The idea of calling off sounds fucking fantastic, but I'm accountable and good and committed to saving for next year, so I sigh out a shaky breath and explain to him, "I called off yesterday. I can't do it again today."

"Fuck," he whispers, but it's not super disappointed. He understands.

"What are the questions?" I ask.

"What questions?" Edward studies my face, looks from my lips to my neck to my chest and back up. His tongue peaks out before his bites his bottom lip.

"The questions you wanted to ask me. The reason you asked me to skip," I remind him.

"What's second base?"

"Huh?" His stare confuses me and I practically forget where I'm at.

"Last night. You said let's stick to second base. I need to know what that entails. Specifically, Bella. Set the boundaries." His smooth voice whispers against the trees and when I close my eyes, everything about him surrounds me.

I bend my neck as his words press on my skin.

"Touching," I tell him softly.

"Touching what?" he asks.

His lips on my neck pull out a gasp. "Everything," I tell him honestly.

His lips press into my neck, and the burn warms into my veins. His cologne envelopes me as he leans down and grazes his teeth against the delicate, thin skin of my décolleté.

The gasp I emit is slightly embarrassing, but I can't care right now. Not when his teeth do more for me than Mike or Jake ever could combined.

He chuckles and pulls back. "You're so responsive."

"Yeah," I pant against the smooth rock. "I'm not a dead fish."

Edward walks two steps ahead of me and further into the forest. Occasionally he peers behind to make sure I'm following, but mostly he walks ahead, pulling brush and pushing branches away to clear a path. Suddenly, we're in a clearing. The grassy weeds don't grow past my ankle, and I'm glad for that.

"This is my second favorite spot. I come here when I don't want to deal with anyone's shit at school," he explains, leading me over to the mountainside where a few natural benches made from rocks jut out of the mountain.

"This is beautiful," I tell him.

We're in a comfortable silence just sitting and watching the nature around us. Birds chirp high in trees, and the crunch of critter feet against fallen leaves and twigs surround us.

Trees sway back and forth with the cool chill of November wind. Memories of the last few days spring inside my mind and play like a home movie. It stops on the memory of my dad, face torn to shreds, in the kitchen.

"Does my dad know about us?" I ask. "That we're friends again? That we… hang out."

Edward looks to me honestly. "I didn't tell him," he says with a shrug. "But when I met with Dimitri in California, your dad was there. He said he's helping Aro to get money for you—"

"For me?" I question. "He's never given me a cent my whole life."

Edward nods in agreement. "I made that known. Dim doesn't like liars."

"Why would he say it's for me?"

"Probably so he doesn't sound like a piece of shit who's going to blow it all on liquor."

"When you did the lock on my door, was he there?"

"No. We did it Monday right after J and I kicked his ass. He went licking his wounds, probably to find Aro in whatever hole they make their shit. Jasper and I did the lock then." He studies me now, watching my face, my eyes, the twitch of my hand.

"Are you always going to do this?"

"Do what?"

"Sell. Do drugs. Work with Dimitri and Aro and Jasper and—"

"I thought we came out here so I could ask you questions, not the other way around." Edward tries to joke, to make light of this situation, but I can't, and he sees that. Edward takes a breath and shakes his head. "I don't know, Bella. It's all I'm used to, and I'm fucking good at it."

"It's dangerous."

He nods in agreement.

"But that's why you like it?" I ask.

"It's a control thing, Bella. Everything in my life is." He looks ashamed, like it's the first time he's admitted it anyone out loud.

"Are you going to college?"

He gives another shrug. "I'll try it for a semester or two, but I'm out if I hate it."

"What about in ten years? Twenty years?"

He looks to me with a sly smile. "I'll be Dimitri by then."

The knot in my belly pulls so tight I can't breathe. The feelings I have for Edward run so deep they're rooted into every memory I have of this town, my home, school, Alice. He's been the common denominator through it all, and while the last few weeks have been refreshing to reengage our friendship, and these last few days have been wild actively engaging our desires… is it all for naught? What's the point when he doesn't have a future?

I'm busting my ass saving every penny so I can get the fuck out of here, and he's willingly staying.

"It's not what you want to hear, but—"

"You're better than that, Edward. You have a future, the means to be who you want to be, the—"

"The what, Bella? The intelligence, charisma, money, and whatever else I need to make it out of here? So fucking what. I like what I do and I'm good at it. Jasper and I work as a team, and I'm not going to just abandon him—"

Edward stops himself and stands, rubbing his palms against the denim of his jeans.

"Come on, it's almost time. I'll show you back."

He doesn't look back this time, and when we make it to the parking lot, Alice sits inside her car waiting patiently.

"Is Jasper going to college?" I ask her immediately, slamming the door.

Her gaze tells me she's surprised by my attitude. Walking out of the woods with Edward, Alice thinks we didn't do a whole lot of talking, but boy is she wrong.

"I'm not sure." Her honesty pisses me off.

"I know you've talked about. What are his plans?"

She looks down at her perfectly manicured fingers. It's a conversation it seems like they've had as well. "I'm helping him apply to the community college in Port Angeles," Alice says shyly.

"Alice, that's great! Good for him. Edward's going to stay behind because of Jasper. He wants to keep selling, He likes it."

Alice nods in agreement. Again, this seems like a conversation they've had.

"What are you going to do?" I ask.

She looks up with emotional eyes filled with awareness. "Can't really do anything about something that doesn't even exist, Bella," she says softly. Her kind words are more to help me than they are to help her. She's known this. It's nothing new.

"Why are they being so stupid?" I ask loudly as we pull up to the library.

"Need a ride home?" she asks.

"I'll just walk, it's okay."

"Bella, don't be ridiculous. Just call me, okay?"

I nod, but I won't. I need the walk to clear my head and think things through.

Work drags. I start an English assignment and study for math. When I get the third one wrong in a row, I move on to something else. Mrs. Cope gives me a project to empty the showcase and get it holiday ready.

I remove all my things, my favorite books, and the pictures I included. The only thing missing are brochures for the colleges I've applied to. Strange. They must have fallen out or something.

At ten till five, with not one patron this entire shift, Mrs. Copeland lets me leave. It's storming outside and when I call Alice it goes to voicemail. I call Edward and nothing. The last person I can call is Jasper, and he picks right up.

"Bella," he says kindly.

"Jasper, can I bum a ride?"

"For sure. I'll be there in a few."

True to his word, he pulls into the parking lot in six minutes.

"Thanks," I say quickly, running to his car and hopping in.

"Don't mention it. I couldn't have Edward's girl walking in the rain. He'd cut my dick off."

I scoff. "Edward's girl."

"Aren't you?"

"Oh yeah, so much so that he ignored my call."

"He's in therapy."

Well don't I feel like an idiot.

"Oh."

"He watches out for you more than you know, Princess." Jasper's tease sends me into a tailspin.

"How'd you know—"

He winks at me and damn if he doesn't give me butterflies, too. Jasper's a handsome guy, and super charming to boot. So I lay into him.

"You have to get out of this town, Jasper. We have to get out of this town."

His gaze sort of surprises me. "Why do you say that?"

"We deserve it."

"You don't get things because you deserve them, Bella. You get things because you earn them. I know what I'm capable of earning and what I'm not. Sounds like you need to realize the difference." His harsh words don't mix with his kind eyes, and it confuses. It's like he says one thing and believes another.

"Sometimes life doesn't give you want you want not because you don't deserve it but because you deserve more, Jasper."

"You're naïve, Bella. You're too good for this piece of fucking shit that we live in."

"You're just as good as me," I remind him.

He smirks and shakes his head. "That's where you've got it all wrong. I'm a drug dealer, a liar, a cheat. You are sweet, and kind, and empathetic. We grew up with similar backgrounds, but I'm hard and you're soft."

"That's mean," I tell him as he pulls into his driveway. I glance behind me and mines empty.

"You've got it all wrong," he says shaking his head. "Come inside. We'll talk."

So I do. I follow him inside the shed where he turns the heat on, the lights, and throws a blanket my way.

"Being soft isn't bad. It means you feel, you're gentle, you're understanding."

"You're being ridiculous right now," I tell him angrily. "You're saying what you think I want to hear."

"I'm saying the truth," he says loudly.

"Edward has it in his head you two will be drug dealers forever, Jasper. He's completely letting go of any opportunity he has for a future." Nervousness laces my words. They beg him to understand.

Jasper shakes his head, looking away. "That'll never happen," he tells me quietly.

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to be a drug dealer forever. I live this life every day. He's in and out when it suits him. My family's been in jail, overdosed, puked their guts out and I had to clean it. When Edward wants a thrill, he crosses the tracks, but he lays his head against a down pillow every night under Dr. Cullen's roof. Don't get me wrong, Bella. Edward's my boy, but I'm not doing this forever, and he knows that."

Jasper's words surprise me, but they're the air I needed to breathe. They give hope and courage for Alice and a possible optimism for Edward.

"Does he know this? That you don't want to do this forever?"

"I've told him before," Jasper says with a nod. "Alice helped me apply to community college, and then I'm looking into trade schools. I want to be good for her," he says softly and boy does my heart just bloom.

"Jasper," I say with a smile.

"Now don't get all crazy," he laughs with the brightest, widest smile.

"Will you just freaking ask her to be your girlfriend already?"

We both smile at each other because it's ridiculous, but neither of us say a thing.

A little while later, between Edward calling him and Alice calling me, I walk back to my house after as it sprinkles around me. My dad's car isn't in the driveway, so I head in through the front door. I have two feet on the stairs when Edward calls.

"Sorry," he says quietly, "I was in therapy."

"It's okay, Jasper gave me a ride," I tell him, walking up to my room. "Everything go okay?"

Edward's silence makes me a little nervous, but then he sighs exhaustedly and responds. "Yeah. I'm sorry… about earlier… I just get so fucking irritable when people try to tell me how I should feel, what I should do, or expectations I need to meet."

"It's okay."

"It's not. I have a lot of bullshit to work on, but thanks."

"Edward, I don't want you to get mad at me," I start, locking my door and sitting on my bed. "You're capable of everything you set your mind to. What I have to work triple hard at comes naturally to you. Don't let yourself get lost in self-loathing."

"Why would I be self-loathing?"

Silence fills my room and the phone call. I know what I want to say, but I don't know what his reaction will be.

But I say it anyways.

"You blame yourself for her death. You couldn't save her, so you think it's automatically your fault."

"It is—"

"It is not."

"Bella—"

"Edward."

We're at a standstill. He's dejected and silent and processing.

"I'm trying hard to fix how I react. Can we talk about something else?" His voice isn't mad, but it's not happy either.

"Of course," I tell him softly. "How does Jasper know about Princess, Edward?"

He laughs now. He laughs huge and wide and loud. He laughs forever, and it's worth it.

"He knows about princess because I know about pickle."

"Pickle? What the heck is pickle?"

Edward's laugh dies down, but I can hear the smile in his voice. "It's what he and Alice call each other."

"Pickle?" I can't wrap my mind around it.

"Guess everyone's got their weird shit, Bella."

We chat for a little while longer before his yawn interrupts my yawn, and then we're calling it a night. The downstairs is empty, so I make a quick peanut butter and jelly sandwich. As I open the fridge to grab a drink, the stale smell of old and nothing assaulting me, the creek of the front door sounds.

I'm frozen in the kitchen. There are two sets of feet that creek against the moaning hardwood.

"Agh, Bella," Aro says. "How lovely to see you again."

"Go upstairs," my dad says, throwing bags of stuff on the table.

"She can stay if she'd like," Aro says, licking his lips. The glint in his eye warns me that the thoughts running through his mind are unclean.

My dad stops what he's doing, drops the bags on the table and sighs loudly.

"Go the fuck upstairs!" he yells, turning towards me. Fear from previous injuries and abuse have me frozen, and when he pushes me and forces me up the stairs, I turn to look.

My dad stares me down and his body language threatens to chase me upstairs or worse.

"Tsk, tsk, Charlie. You're no fun," Aro chuckles.

"Let's get started," my dad says as I rush into my room.

The first person I call is Edward.

"Go to the shed. The key is under the third rock from the right. I'll be over—"

"Edward don't do anything. I don't want them knowing that you are connected to me."

"Bella—"

"No, Edward. You promised—"

"Fuck," he sighs irritably. "Alright, fine. Just get the fuck out of that house."

As quiet as I can, I pack a bag and climb the lattice to the grass. In the shadows of the night, I cross the street and hide behind old trees, looking to make sure Aro isn't watching with some super sonic eyesight.

I find the rock.

I find the key.

No more than five minutes later, Edward walks in.

"Bella," he sighs as I stand. Greedy fingers pull me in and his nose buries into my hair. "Are you okay? Did he hurt you?"

I nod softly. "I'm okay."

Edward sits with me and listens to what happened. He's unsure why Aro is back to the same shit.

"He looked fine," I tell Edward. "My dad looks really bad, but Aro doesn't look like he's missing a hair on his head."

"None of it makes any sense," he says quietly, racking his brain.

I yawn quietly and snuggle down. "Will Jasper mind if I sleep here?"

"No," Edward says, covering me with blankets and kissing my forehead. "I can't stay late, but I'll stay for as long as I can."

"Thanks," I say softly. "For everything."

Edward nods a smile and looks down. My heavy eyelids pull down, and just as I nod off, Edward's fingers tickle mine on top of the blanket. He grips them gently as he traces the outline of my fingernails and down the length of my fingers before lifting my hand and bringing it to his lips.

His lips press fire into onto my skin, and I'm branded forever.