On Friday, I do something dumb. I call off work. Okay, so maybe it's not dumb, I just feel bad for not helping Mrs. Copeland when I know I'm supposed to.
She never cares, though, which is why I did it.
"Please help me tonight," I tell Alice in science as I watch her copy all the answers Edward and I completed on Wednesday at his house.
Wednesday.
His house.
My stomach flips just thinking about it.
His smile and the way his hair looked particularly copper under the kitchen lights. His mouth as he piled spoonfuls of chili inside. His laugh and the way it sent shivers into my core.
I'm extra responsive to him this time around, and to be honest, I don't hate it.
"I got you," Alice says giddily.
She's been giving Edward a hard time on purpose, sort of testing him, making sure he isn't going to do the same thing again. I respect it as much as I love her. Honestly, I'd do the exact same to Jasper.
Near the end of class, Edward stretches, his thick arms scream under the cotton tee shirt as it stretches across his shoulders, biceps, and back. He slips on his hoodie, the ink on his skin disappearing, and I can smell the woodsy, manly scent of whatever cologne he's wearing.
And then he turns around.
And he's smiling.
And he's talking.
"I'll pick you up at 6:30," he tells me, helping me carry my books to my locker when the bell rings.
"Okay," I say dumbly. "I'll be at Alice's."
He nods.
"And Bella?" he says softly, bending down to my ear.
"Hm?"
His proximity makes it feel like we're the only two in the hallway.
He tucks a tuft of hair behind my ear, his breath tickles the sensitive skin of my neck. "Dress warm."
~!~
"Dress warm?" Alice asks, her face showing mass amounts of irritation. "Dress warm?" She reiterates. "How am I supposed to make you look fuckable in warm clothes?"
I laugh and shrug. "Maybe that's the point?"
"What?"
"He keeps telling me he wants to take it slower this time, do things right. I'm sure if he shows up and I'm in some skimpy, tight, low cut thing I'm sure you wanted to dress me in, he'll have a hard time restraining himself. So, this way he's focused on me and not, you know, my boobs."
She frowns. "They're so nice though."
I slap her hand away as she goes in for the grab.
"Alright. Whatever. I can still make you look fuckable in warm clothes, too."
And she does somehow.
Tight jeans, combat boots, a thick sweater, my tight puffy coat. She straightens my hair and tosses on a cute blue beanie, helps me into matching mittens, and hands me a scarf.
Alice squints and judges her masterpiece. "Only wear that if you're, like, really freezing though, okay? Because it just ruins everything."
"What are you going to do tonight?" I ask, taking my mind off the clock that reads 6:17.
Thirteen minutes.
She shrugs. "Jasper's been in a funk. I might try to fuck it out of him, I might just curl up in bed and watch a movie."
"Why don't you just mesh the two together, Allie. Invite him over to watch a movie? Sometimes I need physical touch that isn't that kind of physical touch, you know?"
She nods. "I know. Shit. Oh my god. Am I the fucking Edward in this relationship?" she panics. "I can't keep my hands to myself. Jeez Louise." Alice sighs, falling onto her bed. "Maybe I will. Maybe I'll just invite him over to, like, chill."
I smile. "I bet he'd like that."
There's a knock at 6:24.
He's here.
Alice opens the door and invites him in.
He's so handsome I almost can't look at him. Black denim, black coat, black beanie. His skin pales against the dark contrast. Blue eyes obliterate me. I'm a goner.
His smile glows the second I bat my lashes.
"Wow," he says.
Alice slaps his arm. "I know, I did good, right?"
He won't take his eyes off of me. "You were already working with a masterpiece."
"Oh my god, that gave me butterflies," Alice laughs.
I can't move from my spot behind her. Edward steps in the door, pulls off his hat, and fluffs his hair. He's so much taller than I am as he towers over, casting glances down.
Behind his back, he pulls a long stemmed, black rose. I've never seen anything like it.
"It's beautiful," I tell him, taking the flower and bring it to my nose.
"A beautiful flower for a beautiful girl," he says.
I want to kiss him so hard, but not with Alice standing there, before our first date, in her dad's entry way.
Edward clears his throat. "Ready?"
"Yes," I reply.
He helps me out of the house and into his car. Alice gestures to call her later before shuts the door.
"Where'd you find a black rose?" I ask.
He winks. "I have my ways."
~!~
Edward drives to a little restaurant on the outskirts of Forks just before merging onto the highway. I've never been here, but I've heard it's nice. Edward rushes over to help me out of the car. His smiles lightens up when I take his hand in mine. Even through the mittens, his fingers grip mine and pull me into step next to him.
Inside, the little restaurant is dimly lit and buzzing with diners. We're shown to a booth in the back. Nervously, I look through the menu without really looking.
"Everything looks good," I say
"Bella," Edward says.
"Maybe I'll get the chicken sandwich," I mumble.
"Bella," he says again.
"Or maybe the chicken salad."
A hand comes to rest on the top of my menu and pulls it down so he can see me and I can see him.
"Bella."
"Yeah?"
He looks and smiles and leans in. The table is too wide, so he can't be leaning in to kiss me. Once he's hunched over, still smiling, he cocks a finger and motions for me to lean in.
Once I am, and we're breaths away from each other, he looks from my eyes to my nose to my eyelashes to my lips.
"Thank you for coming tonight," he says easily, holding my eyes.
I nod, smiling nervously. "Thank you for asking."
~!~
We order and loosen up and he tells me about a time when he first met Jasper that they made a pact to never fall for a girl in high school.
"Jasper really messed that up, huh?" I joke.
Edward nods. "But if there was one girl I'd pick for that weirdo, it'd be Alice Brandon."
"Think they'll make it?" I ask, sipping my coke zero through a straw.
He nods. "I do."
"Any news from Dimitri?" I ask.
He straightens up and looks at the table, shaking his head. "Nope."
I nod. "Okay, well, let me know when you hear anything."
Our meals show up right after, and we eat in soft conversation. He asks what I want to major in when University of Washington pulls their head out of their ass and accepts me. I tell him I have literally no idea. He says I'd look hot as a librarian. I tell him I'll take it into consideration.
After dinner, he walks me back to the car, and we drive through town the opposite way back to his house.
"Edward, what are we…" I ask as he pulls into his driveway.
He looks over and smirks.
"I thought you wanted—" I start but he's already out of the car and opening my door.
"Do you trust me?" he asks.
"Yes," I breathe like it's the easiest question I've ever been asked.
Edward helps me into my mittens, pulls my hat onto my head, and takes my hand in his. Instead of walking up the steps to his house, we walk around the side. And then into the backyard, and then into the grass, and then through the trees.
"Edward," I start, heart pounding, throat dry.
"Trust me," he says softly over the light crunch of nature under our feet.
We walk a few minutes into the forest, to the right of a huge tree, and through a grassy field. I know exactly where we're headed, and I can't stop the tears.
I haven't been here in years. A decade, almost. The last time I was here was with him, with Edward, under way different circumstances than this. Ten years ago, when Edward held my hand, it was to keep me from tripping on overgrown roots growing out of the dirt not because we were on a date.
We come to a break in the trees and there it is.
The meadow.
Our meadow.
As an adult I have the playground, as a child, we had the meadow.
He stops walking when I stop walking. His eyes studying me. His fingers gripping my hand tighter.
It looks the same. Like nature froze the day we left this place.
The grass meets my ankles, wildflowers and weeds wilt from the cold but they're still there, and the huge rock sits in the same old place.
I walk to it.
Edward follows.
On the other side of the rock, there's a few blankets laid on top of each other with a heater and a wireless, portable work light. Edward walks over and turns them both on.
"This heater has enough juice to last us eight hours," he smiles, turning on the light next.
It's not completely bright, but I can see him beautifully, clearly. His blue eyes shine with memories and love the same as mine.
"I can't believe—" I start but stop. There are no words. I can't form a thought, a word, a look, nothing. But I can form feelings, and that's why I let the tears spill over.
Edward holds me against him tightly, encompassing me, breathing me in and accepting my emotions. He pets my hair, rocks me, and pulls me down onto the blankets with him. He's on his back, and I'm curled into his side. A blanket is tossed over me, and I can feel the brush of his hands against my back and my hair.
He turns onto his side, face to face, and kisses away the tears that have fallen.
"Thank you," I whisper when I can breathe again. "Thank you."
He nods. "I was worried you'd be mad."
I shake my head. "I've always wanted to come back, just didn't know how."
"We can stay as long as you'd like," he whispers.
Above the blankets, side by side, we turn our eyes to the sky. It's a clear night, so the stars twinkle down on us.
"Do you think our moms are together?" I ask softly.
"Hm," he starts. "I never thought about it."
We enjoy the quiet, the only sound each other makes is the inhale and exhale of air from our lungs. Wind blows through the trees, but I don't really notice.
"Yes," he says afterwhile. "Yes, I think they're together up there."
I turn to him and smile. "Me too."
~!~
We stay for a few hours enjoying the nature and the memories and recalling every time I tripped on nonexistent rocks and all the times he peed on the rotten tree stump across the field.
"How'd you do all this? It must have taken forever," I tell him.
"Rosalie helped. Emmett had the light and heater in his garage and—"
"Emmett?"
"That's her fiancé. He owns this huge garage where we works on old cars so he's got a lot of useful shit lying around."
"What's Rosalie like?" I ask.
"Annoying," Edward says immediately with a laugh. And then he sighs. "Helpful. Kind. Loyal. Maddening. Talkative. Overbearing. Loving."
"Sounds like a sister."
"She reminds me a lot of my mom. It's hard sometimes."
"Does she, uhm, talk to her dad?"
Edward breathes in and breathes out. "Yeah."
My brows shoot up. "How do you feel about that?"
"It's not often, like a few times a year. I, uh, I don't know a whole lot about that relationship yet, but from my understanding, it was hard for Rosalie. It still is."
"Then why does she want to talk to him?"
He shrugs. "It's her last bloodline, you know? With our mom dead, she doesn't have anyone else."
I understand. I get it.
"She'd like to meet you," he starts, "when you're ready. I know you said you also would like to meet her, but I don't want to rush you into anything."
"Okay."
"Okay?"
"Why not?"
Edward turns to me with a smile and brushes his nose against mine.
"Tell me something no one else knows about you, Bella."
I think for a while. A long time. There's not a lot Alice doesn't know. I think even longer.
"I didn't have my first orgasm until this year."
"What?" he asks loudly, surprised. "Of all the secrets, that's the one?"
I shrug. "Alice knows everything but that, soooo…"
"So, uhm, what changed this year? You know, in order for you to… orgasm."
I shrug again. "No idea. It wasn't for lack of trying, you know. It still felt really good, but one night over the summer I was uhm, watching something, and it just happened."
"Watching?" Edward asks in surprise. "Bella, you watch… porn?"
"Not often, but Alice sent me this link and—"
"What was it?"
"I don't remember."
"Yes you do. It's the reason you were able to make yourself come."
"It really wasn't anything crazy. No fake moans or over the top pleasure. I don't even think anyone talked. It was just… I don't know… sensual I guess? I can send you the link later if you want," I tell him, knowing full well I have it saved in my bookmarks in my phone. In fact, I could pull it up and send it to him right now if I wanted to.
He lets it go and so do I.
"What about you?" I ask.
"I keep a journal."
"Yeah?" I ask, surprised.
"My therapist made me do it when I was in group like 8 years ago. I've done it one and off since then. It's helped me think through some shit over the years."
"That's actually really cool. No one knows? Not even Jasper?"
"Nope," he says easily. "Just you."
Just me.
"Well, my secret's kind of dumb now, huh?" I ask with a laugh.
"No way," he smiles. "Can't wait to watch what made you—"
But he stops himself and takes a breath.
"Fuck this is hard," he says.
"Is it?" I tease.
Edward glances over at me sternly. "Not helping," he admits. "Just… going against everything I know. Rejecting the comments that come to mind, and the itch in my fingers to touch you, and the way my body reacts to yours… it's difficult to keep to myself."
"Well instead of doing it, why don't you just talk about it? I know you want to go slow and everything, and I admire that, Edward, but I don't want you to change who you are because I love who you are."
"You do?"
I catch myself the same time he does.
Swallowing hard, I nod.
"Shit," he sighs. "I mean, maybe we can try it? They're just words, right?"
I nod again.
But he pauses. "Maybe let's try that on the phone, though, okay? I'm having a really nice night with you, and I don't want to convolute it."
I can't help but laugh. "Okay, Edward."
"Fuck, I love it when you say my name."
"Edward," I tease, leaning closer playfully.
He groans and sits up, back against the rock. "I'm seeing Dim on Sunday," he says, changing the subject totally. "I don't want you to freak or anything. I just want to tell you because you're in my life, and you're important to me."
A million questions flit through my mind. Why? Where? When? With who? About what? Are you scared? What are you going to say? Is it dangerous? But I don't ask them. I wait for him to lead.
That's all he says though. Edward changes the subject to graduation and summer. To moving and helping me pack. To buying a new car and giving me his old.
"I don't even have my driver's license," I tell him.
"What?" he asks.
"Yeah, I need a parent and, you know, I don't really have one, so… I have to wait until I turn eighteen."
Edward looks over at me and nods. "Maybe I can figure something out. I'll teach you," he says.
"You'd do that?"
"Of course."
I sigh and ask the question I've been thinking all week. "Edward, where was this person the first time?"
Edward's silence hurts. "I'm not sure, Bella. He's always been in there, but it was like a tickle of a feeling, now it's scratch, it's relief. Does that make sense?"
It doesn't need to, but I nod anyways. I hope he doesn't go away.
~!~
Just before eleven, Edward reminds me of his curfew.
"I better get you home," he says.
I help him fold the blankets and carry the heater and light back to the house where his dad is waiting.
"Really, dad?" he asks, annoyed.
His dad takes the blankets and puts the heater and light in the garage.
"Just crossing paths, son. Hello, Isabella. Lovely to see you again." He smiles kindly, tipping his head in a friendly hello.
Embarrassment pinks my cheeks as I wonder what he must think about me and everything that's happened.
"Hi," I manage to squeak.
"Do you mind if I take her home?" Edward asks, still annoyed.
"Of course," Dr. Cullen says with a smile. He looks down at his watch and back to Edward. "You've still got twenty minutes. I'll wait up."
I try to hide the smile by biting my lip, but when Edward turns around and rolls his eyes, I can't help the tiny laugh that bubbles up.
"Have you ever met someone so irritating?" Edward asks after getting in his car.
"He loves you," I say, reasoning with him. "He cares about you."
Edward sighs, puts the car in reverse, and drives quickly to my house. "Yeah, yeah. That's what I keep hearing."
~!~
He pulls up to my house a few minutes later. It's empty and dark and relief floods through me.
"Can I call you later?" he asks, turning in his seat to face me.
"Isn't it already later?" I ask.
He sort of laughs and gets out of his car. So do I.
Edward walks me to my door, opens the door, and flips on the porch light.
"This is how it should be," he says softly. "Porch light on, parent threatening to kill me if I don't bring you home at a respectable hour, guns lined up next to the front door."
"Yeah," I laugh nervously. "Wouldn't know what that's like."
"First dates should also be like this," he says. "Nice, quiet, simple. PG." His voice lowers, and he walks closer to me. Edward puts his thumb and forefinger on my chin, lifting to meet his gaze. Then his hands go to my sides, gripping my coat and pulling me closer. "Maybe ending in a quick kiss."
His smile tempts me.
"Hmmm," I say, watching his tongue wet his lips. "I agree with everything but the last part."
Edward nods and slowly loosens his grip on me, backing away minutely.
"Don't make it too quick," I whisper before pulling him in.
He has me pressed against the front door in no time. His lips against mine in a hard, searing kiss. It's so hot it warms me into my toes and out through my hair. He doesn't give me his tongue, but that's okay. I'm too focused on the grip of his hand just under my breast and the heavy breaths as he restrains himself.
He pulls away. Second kiss, third kiss, fourth kiss. Each slower and shorter than the last.
"I had a wonderful time, Bella. Can I take you out again?" he asks, pulling away, smiling down at me.
I nod. "I think I'd like that."
He nods, kisses me once more, and then opens my door for me. I step inside the dark, cold house, locking up before heading upstairs. I peak out my bedroom window and watch as he puts the car into drive and pulls off. He was making sure I got in okay.
What a gentleman.
I change into pajamas and curl into bed.
Home. It was great. I send to Alice.
Glad you had fun. Love you, Bells.
Love you, Allie.
I open my kindle app on my phone and start reading a new book. In the next twenty minutes, Edward texts me.
Send the link.
Oh shit.
Swallowing hard, I open my browser to the web address I've had saved forever. The only porno I've really watched for the purpose of getting off and not research.
"Amateur Couple's Passionate Night"
I hit send before I think about ignoring him.
I watch the video in real time. A girl with my curves lays on the bed. A man enjoys her body, kissing from the top of her head to her feet and everywhere in between. There's no fake moans or groans or forced anything. He gets her off with his fingers, his mouth, then his mouth and fingers. Finally, he slides inside her. His length pulling whimpers and moans from her mouth.
They engage in many positions, but it's passionate and sensual and extremely erotic.
Edward's calling.
Edward's calling and I practically have my hand in my pants.
"H-hello?"
"What are you doing Sunday?" he asks. I wasn't expecting that.
"Uhm," I manage, pulling the covers up. "Nothing. Aren't you going to Dimitris?"
"It's in the morning and we're meeting just outside Forks. I'd like for you to meet Rosalie… if you want?"
"Oh. Uhm. Sure."
"So, you're saying yes to another date?" he asks, and I can tell by his tone he's smiling.
"Yes," I smile back.
"Good. Tell me why you like this video, Bella?"
There it is.
His tone changes. I like it.
"I-I don't know."
"Doesn't have to be specific or super raunchy," he says quietly. "The lighting? The people? The moves?"
I'm quite, nervous, shy. He says, "earlier you said it's a good idea to talk about things, do you not want to anymore? You can trust me, Bella, but I won't push you either way." It's soft and honest, and I instantly relax.
Swallowing hard and clearing my throat, I tell him the truth. "I like that it doesn't seem like acting. That's what I picture sex like." I pause and inhale deeply. "I like that he was able to, uhm, pleasure her for awhile and used, you know, like, all the options."
"Options?" he asks in confusion.
"Yeah, like, his fingers while kissing her, then his mouth while still looking up at her, and then both."
"Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah that was pretty hot. Is that something you'd like?" He sounds shy as he asks, but I find it endearing.
"I don't know. I've only had fingers so far." I giggle nervously.
"Right, right."
"But that video… that's what I want sex to be like. Passionate, devotion, honest."
He's quiet before responding. "Me too, Bella."
"Is that not what it's like for you? Like when you've done it with… whoever."
"Not really. When I fucked before, I never really saw the girl. It was a release. That's pretty much it. I never connected with anyone. No one's ever really shared my interests."
"What are your interests?"
"You know—"
"I don't," I tell him. "I know only what you've show me."
"I like to be in control 100% of the time. Pressing on your skin, marking you, pulling any sounds from your throat that I can, my hands on your neck, in your hair."
I pull in a jagged breath. "I like that, too."
"I know you do. Tell me some things you like that I don't know."
"Uhm," I start before pausing. I really have no idea. "I can't think of any off the top of my head."
"Okay," he says quietly. "Maybe… uhm… maybe when we get to that point, uh, we can, you know, talk about it? Like, what you're into and stuff?"
He's being bashful and it's so endearing.
"Okay," I whisper.
We're both quiet. It's not awkward, but I'm so turned on I try to think of a way off the phone so I can finish.
"What are you doing Bella?"
"Nothing," I tell him. "Yet."
"Yet?"
"I want to be doing something."
He sighs. "Fuck, me too." His breaths come out rapidly. "Will you text me after and tell me what you thought about?"
"Okay. Will you do the same?"
"If that's what you want."
"Yes."
We hang up and I lay there motionless.
I'm nervous.
But then my hand travels inside my panties and I find my core slick and ready. I touch myself imagining the way Edward's fingers felt against my skin. The way he'd curl into me. His nose against my jaw. His fingers on my neck. His words whispering dirty, naughty things into my ear.
I moan softly at the memories we've made, and the memories we will make. Waiting is hard, but I know it'll be worth it.
I imagine Edward on his couch, touching himself the same time I am.
I want you so bad I text him bravely.
You have no fucking idea, Bella. I want you to come thinking about my mouth on your pussy. Can you do that for me, Princess?
Oh, shit.
I think about it over and over and over and over until my fingers grip the sheet between my fingers and my back arches.
I did. I text him, giving him what he wants. I describe what brought me to orgasm. You were going down on me. Your eyes on mine the whole time. Just as I finished, you slipped two fingers inside me.
Edward doesn't respond for a while and when he does, I'm about to start round two.
You're so fucking sexy.
You didn't tell me what you thought about.
You riding me with my fingers around your throat.
~!~
On Saturday, Edward calls just before dinner. I'm with Alice, but I answer anyways. He wants to know what time tomorrow. I tell him whenever.
"I really just wanted an excuse to call you," he laughs.
"I'm glad you did."
Alice looks over and smirks. "Clingy much, Cullen?" she calls into the phone.
"Just taking after Jasper," he retorts.
Allie giggles and nods.
"Call you later?" Edward asks.
"Okay."
Alice looks at me when we hang up.
"Boy, I knew he had it bad, but damn," she jokes.
~!~
We spend the evening doing things we used to do before the boys came into our lives. A Lifetime movie plays on the TV as we give each other manicures and talk about our future.
"I think I want to go undecided," Alice says. "I told my dad and he freaked."
I shrug. "It makes sense. We'll be eighteen when we graduate. I don't even know what I want to do next month let alone for the rest of my life. I might go undecided, too."
"That's exactly what I told him. Sometimes he makes me so mad. He puts all this pressure on me to be something, do great things, get the best grades, graduate with honors, uphold the family name. Sometimes I just…" Alice trails off, looking down. It's not often she isn't bubbly, happy, confident, and seeing her like this hurts me. "Sometimes I just want to be left alone."
"He doesn't like Jasper too much, does he?"
Alice shakes her head sadly. "No." And then she cries softly sitting across from me on the floor of her living room.
Setting the nail polish down, I pull Alice into my arms and comfort her for once. My fingers comb through her hair, rub her back, whisper support and admiration into her skin hoping it'll sink in and spread.
My best friend, my sister, has a hurting heart, and I do everything I can to glue her back together.
"Maybe he'll get used to him. Maybe once high school is over, your dad will see it's not some phase you're going through. He'll see that you two really love each other."
Alice nods. "My dad said it was time to make some better decisions for my futures if I don't want to—"
"What Allie?"
"If I don't want to wind up like my mom." Alice cries harder into me. It's unfair for her dad to throw that at her. Alice's heart shatters in my palm, but I cup the pieces, not losing any. I'll glue them back one by one if I have to. Just like she's done for me.
"I love you," I tell her. "I love you. I love you. I love you."
~!~
I finally leave Alice around eleven when Jasper shows up through her window.
"She's passed out," I tell him quietly. "Has been for an hour."
He looks down at his sleeping beauty and pets her hair. "She was crying?" he asks.
I nod. "Just some… parental bullshit," I joke.
"Come on," he tells me, heading for her window. "I'll give you a ride back home if you want?"
"Okay," I agree and sneak down the short distance from her window to the ground.
We're pretty quiet on the way until he says, "I never really thanked you, Bella."
"For what?"
"Everything."
Glancing over at Jasper, I give him a confused look. "You might have to elaborate a little more."
"Caring for Alice, our little talks, giving Edward a second chance."
His words make me smile. "You're getting all sappy on me, Jasper. I think you're hanging around Allie too much."
He nods and smiles. "I know I am."
We pull up to my house and I notice the lights are on downstairs. Great.
"There's someone who wants to see you in the shed," Jasper tells me with a smile before pulling away.
I don't even think twice before walking over and into the shed.
"Hey," Edward says from the couch. He's slouched down, bright eyed, and comfy.
"What—what are you doing here? I thought you had curfew?"
Edward shrugs. "My dad's working overnight. No one's home. I was bored. Wanna come sit?" he asks, patting the spot next to him.
When I walk over, he puts his arm around my shoulder and pulls me in. "You look… cozy," he says with smile, plucking at my leggings and light sweater. "Want to watch a movie?" Edward asks, grabbing the remote and flipping through Netflix. "I don't think I can wait until tomorrow for date number two."
I smirk. "So, three dates in a row? Maybe Allie was right. You are clingy."
His laugh comes from deep in his chest and it's like sunshine on a cold day.
We settle on a comedy, something easy, and sit closely while it plays. I don't really watch, I'm too focused on the rise and fall of his chest, the beat of his heart under my ear, and way his fingers play with my hair.
He leans down presses his lips against my head, his hand trailing down my back to my hip. Suddenly we're moving until he's on his back and I'm on top of him, my chest against his. I scoot back so I'm resting against the back of the couch and my full weight isn't on top of him, but I'm still cuddled against him.
"You have no idea," he starts. I don't interrupt. It takes a few minutes for him to finish his sentence. "You have no idea how happy you make me."
My smile burns my cheeks it's so high.
~!~
Edward wakes me just before one in the morning.
"Let's get you home, Bella," he whispers, helping me stand.
He shuts everything down and locks up the shed before walking me across the street and into my house. It's dark as we make it upstairs. He enters the code, and I pretty much fall into my bed.
"Don't leave," I whisper.
Edward wars with himself but decides to stay. He lays in bed next to me and the last thing I feel before falling back to sleep are his lips against my forehead.
~!~
When I wake the next morning, I'm in bed alone. Like nothing even happened.
Work stuff. Pick you up at four. PS- you look cute when you sleep.
Work stuff. I forgot he was meeting with Dimitri today. It's already ten, and I wonder what time that's at.
Good luck, Edward. Be safe. PS- so do you.
Between now and noon, I clean up a little, do some more deep cleaning, and shower. I don't really know what to expect tonight, so I can't help but be a little nervous.
Sorry about last night. Just got my period which explains why I've been a crybaby bitch the last few days. Alice texts around lunch time.
It's okay. I like to be your shoulder to cry on sometimes instead of the other way around.
By two, I'm twiddling my thumbs. No news from anyone. I even consider texting Jasper, but I know I'm being over the top at this point. So, to busy myself, I study math and read for English, and then I put on another coat of mascara at 3:50.
Still nothing from Edward.
Worried, I pace and check the window like every 25 seconds to make sure I don't miss his car. Nothing.
At 4:01, there's a knock on my door.
My bedroom door.
I'm motionless. Frozen in confused fear.
"You have a visitor," my dad says gruffly through the thick wood.
He's not to be trusted and I know that, so I ignore.
There's another knock.
"Did you hear me?" he asks louder.
Years of torment, of emotional abuse, of screams through the door, of needing two deadbolts and sneaking out my window, of being thrown onto the gravel, kicked, slapped, pushed around, of bruises colored purple and blue then violent yellow in the shapes of fingers, of cuts and scrapes and blood, the taste of pain in my mouth, the hurt this man has caused me over the years.
It's me, princess. Come downstairs Edward texts. He won't hurt you.
He knows. He knows. Edward always knows.
With a deep breath and a shaky exhale, I open my door for my dad for the first time maybe ever. He's no where near me though. He stands crossed armed across the hall by the bathroom door looking anywhere but at me. Quickly, I slam shut my bedroom door and press the lock button just in case he's got an ulterior motive.
But he says nothing.
He does nothing.
My dad doesn't even look at me as I walk past him and down the steps.
Edward's leaned against the arch to the kitchen. He's wearing dark denim, a black shirt, and a green anorak. He's dressed up but not really. We match, though, almost to a T. But, instead of a green coat, I have on a pink one.
"Well aren't you a site for sore eyes," he smiles, looking me up and down. What he says is true though, he's really got a sore eye. It's puffy red and swollen underneath.
"What happened?" I ask.
"Just a little… incident this morning. That's all. You ready?" he asks, looking from me to over my shoulder.
Glancing back, my dad stands at the top of the steps looking down.
"Yes," I say easily. Something just doesn't sit right, and I can't put my finger on it. "Where's your car?" I ask.
He cocks his head. "Had to park down the street."
Okay, weird. Whatever.
Once we're buckled and headed out of town, I ask, "so what happened?"
"Dim asked me a question and he didn't like my answer."
"So he, what, punched you?"
"Pretty much. And then he backed off because he knew what I said was the truth."
"Which is…?"
Edward turns to me and smiles. His hand slides over my leg, and he tucks his fingers on the inside of my thigh.
"That I'm fucking done with him and his shit."
"Oh my god, really Edward? Is he letting you go? What did he say?"
He shrugs. "He has no choice. I cut ties with him."
"So then—"
"I know you have a lot questions, Bella, and I will answer them, I promise you, but I just want to enjoy the night and be normal, okay? I don't want to be drug dealer Edward. I want to be—" but he pauses, swallows, and shakes his head.
"What? You want to be what?" I push.
"I just want to be Edward Cullen with his beautiful girl."
I can tell it isn't what he was going to say, but I let it go. This time, I'm trusting him much more than I ever did before.
~!~
We're the last to arrive at the restaurant. His dad greets me with a hug.
"Long time, no see," he jokes.
Rosalie looks me up and down. If I didn't know of her, I'd think she was a huge bitch. Her long hair curled perfectly, her bright blue eyes match Edwards. And the tattoos covering her right arm make me think Edward and his sister are a lot more alike than I was led to believe. It makes me smile and then she's smiling and now we're hugging.
"I have heard so much about you," Rosalie says, rocking us back and forth.
"Likewise," I tell her.
And then there's her fiancé. He's big. He's bigger than big. He's huge.
Muscles for days, thick neck, way more tattoos than Edward or his sister, but he's smiling like a little kid.
"Bella!" he shouts, walking over and picking me up in a tight hug.
"Uhm, hi," I say as he puts me down.
"I'm Emmett."
"Don't mind him," Edward says, pulling out my chair. "He's a little brain dead from all the steroids."
Emmett laughs. "You wish it was all roids."
"Why would anyone wish that?" Edward questions, confused.
Everyone laughs and it feels like this group of people has know each other for years.
Rosalie and I talk about everything that involves Edward—his grades, college, a major, his tattoos, his marijuana usage, his taste in music.
"How can you not like Pink Floyd?" he questions his sister.
"All they have is like twenty minute songs of someone playing the guitar," Rosalie argues.
"Yeah, that's the appeal, Rose," Edward contends.
"I'll have to agree with my son on this one," Dr. Cullen butts in.
"Okay, what about Deftones? Beastie Boys? All the screamo shit?"
"It's not screamo, Rose. It's heavy metal, rock, shit that isn't Britney Spears."
"Hey," I interject, "don't hate on Britney. She's the Queen."
Edward looks wounded. "Not you too, Bella."
"Guilty," I say with a shrug.
When dinner comes out, Emmett and Dr. Cullen start a conversation about some sports team making it to the playoffs or something. Rosalie butts in every now and then. Edward and I share a quiet, intimate conversation about hanging out after this.
Rosalie watches us then, when I look up and see her, and she regards us with curiosity but doesn't say anything.
The waiter comes around with a bottle of wine.
"Our chef recommends your dinner paired with—"
"No thanks," Rosalie says with a smile.
"And for you sir?" he asks Dr. Cullen who nods, and then Emmett who also nods.
"No wine?" Edward asks. "If I didn't know any better…"
And then it dawns on him.
And he's looking up.
"Rose, are you…" he trails off and Emmett looks as giddy as a three year old at Christmas.
"Yeah!" Emmett shouts, and although I don't really know these people, my heart fills with joy because of their excitement.
Dr. Cullen stands and hugs them, Edward just sits with a smile. Rosalie wipes away tears that have pooled in the corner of her eyes.
"I wasn't going to say anything for a few more weeks, but we found out two weeks ago. It's still early, but…"
Emmett wraps his arm around his fiancé and swallows her body with his.
"It'll be okay, babe. This is the one," he whispers.
Rosalie collects herself and explains, "we had a miscarriage last summer at ten weeks. We're just shy of that now, so we're a little anxious."
Dr. Cullen and Rosalie talk about numbers and acronyms and stuff only medically competent people would understand. When I turn to Edward, he plays with the food on his plate.
"You okay?" I whisper.
He looks over at me and smiles. "Yeah, I'm good." Edward takes a breath and looks up at his sister. "Mom would have loved being a grandma."
Rosalie nods in agreement. "She would have."
The dinner continues, and everyone talks about the baby, and college, and a family vacation over the summer.
We hug goodbye and Dr. Cullen reminds Edward of his curfew and Edward sort of rolls his eyes before Rosalie slaps him in the chest.
In the car, Edward turns the heat up and we sit in comfortable silence. I think about Rosalie and Emmett, their relationship, how they sort of anticipate each other's movements and mannerisms.
"Tell me what you're thinking," Edward says, turning down the music as we head back into Forks.
"Rosalie and Emmett seem really happy."
"Yeah, they're sort of made for each other, huh?"
I giggle thinking about how silly some of the stuff Emmett said. "Emmett is…"
"Trust me," Edward says with a laugh, "I know."
"Are you excited to be an uncle?" I ask.
"What?"
"An uncle. You know, since Rosalie is having a baby and that's your sister…"
He's quiet for a few moments. "I guess I didn't really think about that."
A smile tugs at his lips, and I can almost see the future playing out in his mind.
We sit quietly, enjoying each other's presence until we pull up in front of my house.
"I have some time before I have to be home. Want to hang out?" he asks.
I nod.
We get out of the car and walk down the street. Neither of us say anything, but we both head in the same direction.
It's cold, but not frigid, and with the coat, I can barely feel the wind when it blows.
The playground.
My sanctuary.
The place that has seen me at my best, worst, and everything in between.
We move over to the swings and sit idly. His hand holds mine as we lazily push and pull with our legs.
"Do you want to see a movie with me next weekend?" he asks.
I can't help but smile. "You're going to get sick of me if you see me so often, Edward."
"I won't."
"Okay. When do you want to go?"
"Friday. And I want to take you to and pick you up from work this week."
"Alice can—"
"Bella, I want to."
"Why?"
"I want to pick up my—"
We stop and look at each other. We both know what he was about to say. My heart in my chest hammers and hammers until I feel it on my bones. It vibrates inside.
"Bella," he starts slowly. "Bella, will you be my girl?"
And here, in my sanctuary, the place that holds me when no one else can, Edward Cullen asks me to be his.
"Your girl?"
He sort of smiles. "Yeah. My girlfriend."
Hearing him say words is so much more than I ever thought it might be.
Wind blows through the bare trees, whipping my hair across my face.
I'm on my feet and walking the very short distance to where he's seated on the swing.
"Your girlfriend?"
We're practically eye to eye, and while it's dark, his eyes are light beams.
"Yes."
Am I going to be his girlfriend? Am I going to do this? Forgive him for our past, move on, entertain a future with Edward?
I know in my mind the answer. It screams at me from so far inside my cells it actually stings.
"Yes," I tell him.
Edward pulls me in and presses his forehead against my chest. And then his lips find mine, and we seal it with a kiss.
~!~
The temperature dips, so we head back home, hand in hand, quietly. We both find our way to the shed. It's locked up and dark. Edward does what he can to warm me up, but we don't have a lot of time until he has to leave, so we resort to cuddling under three blankets.
"So," I start, trailing my hands down his sides and along the waistband of his jeans. "Since you're my boyfriend, I can do whatever I want, right?"
He chuckles nervously. "To an extent," he says. "I still have to consent."
"And you won't?"
"Oh, I fucking will, Bella," he whispers into my neck. Hot skin torches mine as his lips leave wet trails across my neck. "But I meant it when I said slow might be best for now. I don't want it to seem like that's all I want."
"What if I don't mind?"
He groans and pulls back, but I can feel a very rigid, prominent tent in his jeans. And then I place my hand on it.
He swallows audibly.
And then I skim my hand up the length and squeeze.
He pushes me away. "No," he tells me firmly, rolling onto his side, his hand spreads over the width of my belly. I know he's going to deny me, to tell me no, that it's time to leave. I'm so used to it that it doesn't even phase me, but he slides his hand lower. "You first."
He's unbuttoning my jeans, slipping his hand between denim and cotton, rubbing between my slit. Cotton sticks to bare skin, and when he presses against me, I'm floating.
"Is this okay?" he asks.
"Under," I encourage.
He pulls his fingers back and slips them under the waistband. They find my center hot and needy. His lips on my neck, just under my ear. One finger glides through my folds softly up and down before adding another. Two fingers press and hold against my clit.
My breathing picks up and it's hot under these blankets, but I'm safe here with him.
"Right here?" he whispers when I squirm under his touch.
I nod. "Mhm."
Edward doesn't say a lot, and I know he's holding back, but I lose myself in the feeling of being with him again. He knows my body and what it craves before I even do.
He presses small, tight circles around my clit, panting in my ear, pressing his erection unconsciously against me. I want to reach down and grip him, help him like he's helping me, but I'm one foot off the cliff and just a few more flicks of his fingers and I'm going to lose it.
"No one else has made you come?" he whispers.
Control. Edward loves the control. And I love giving it to him.
"No."
"Only me?"
"Only you."
He speeds up and I'm gone. I've blasted so far into space I'm in another galaxy. My eyes squeeze shut and my back arches. I don't know if I'm quiet or loud or moaning or holding my breath. All I'm focused on are Edward's fingers, his body next to me, the words in my ear.
"You're so fucking sexy like this," he pants.
Edward brings me back to Earth slowly. I find myself breathless, whimpering, shaking as his fingers never stop. And I don't want them to.
He smiles when I grip his wrist but don't push him away.
"How much longer?" I ask.
"Thirty minutes."
I whimper as he presses harder. "Don't stop."
~!~
I'm absolutely exhausted on Monday. Ten minutes before Edward's curfew last night, he walked me up my stairs and kissed me goodnight after three mind blowing orgasms.
And then he called me at midnight, and we talked until one.
And now it's ten in the morning on a boring Monday, and for the first time ever, I didn't want to come to school. I wanted to stay home, and sleep, and be with Edward, my boyfriend.
Speaking of which, we excitedly tell our friends.
Alice and Jasper look relieved.
"Finally," Jasper says giving me a wink.
Alice looks excited and starts planning couples prom outfits.
It's always something with her, and I love her for it.
In science, Edward works with me and Allie on the study guide. We finish in 15 minutes.
"Maybe you should come over after work," Edward says while Allie copies our answers. "We should really finish this and study for the test. I think I'm struggling."
"But we—"
"My dad works at seven tonight, and you definitely need to help me, Bella."
"But you—"
Alice nudges me and gives me the he just wants to be with you look.
Oh!
"I totally agree," I tell him with a smile.
"I'll make sure to order us a pizza before I pick you up from work then."
Needless to say, work drags. Mrs. Copeland gives me a list of libraries in the area where I'll be living next year that I can look into. She asks me to put back a bunch of books she previously had on display, and then, at 5:30, Edward waltzes in.
"What are you doing here?" I ask. "I don't get off until 6."
"I know," he explains. "I've picked you up here so many times and it dawned on me that I don't really know what you do here."
So I show him around with Mrs. Copeland's permission who, by the way, absolutely loves him. Of course she does.
We walk outside the library and down the hall to the display I made for winter, then valentine's day with all my favorite romance novels. Edward looks through the cases and nods.
"You're good at this," he says.
I shrug. "It's not hard."
"I've never even heard of half these books let alone know they're a romance novel."
I shrug again. "I guess I just like books."
"Show me more," he says.
I take him down to the copier room where we store overflow of old books, newspapers, and magazines that I was in charge of organizing when I was hired. Then we walk back down the hall so I can collect my things and we can leave.
Mrs. Copeland smiles and winks at me, and for the first time in a long time, I feel a maternal pull with someone.
It both hurts and heals.
We make it to Edward's where Dr. Cullen makes his presence very known by walking around the kitchen and living room for the first forty-five minutes.
"Dad, for real, we're trying to study."
He ignores his son. " Please be good, son. I won't be home before you leave for school, so I'll see you in the afternoon. I'm trusting you." Dr. Cullen buttons the sleeves of his work shit. "You too, Bella."
And then he's gone.
Me too.
I kind of laugh when I look at Edward, but he looks beyond embarrassed.
"Does he know we're—"
"No. And I don't think I want him to. If he acts like that not knowing, I'll never get you alone when he actually knows."
It's quiet now. We don't need to study. We finished the study guide today. Edward and I know this stuff like the back of our hands.
"And why do you want to get me alone, Edward?" I tempt.
"So I can kiss you anywhere I want."
Anywhere.
"Want to watch a movie?" he asks.
"Okay."
He leads me past the living room and up the stairs. Into his room.
We sit on is bed, against the headboard, as Edward thumbs through Netflix. I nix his suggestions, and he does the same to mine.
And then he settles on something dumb, but his lips are against mine within the first five minutes. I've never "Netflix and chilled" before, but I think I like it.
"I can't stop," he kisses my lips, then my jaw, "thinking about last night."
"Me either," I agree.
"Can I do it again?" he asks, biting my neck, pulling back.
I nod enthusiastically. I'm a horny virgin, of course I want him to do it again.
And oh my freaking god does he. It's like he's making up for lost time, and I don't hate it.
"I love your neck, and your chest, and the way your belly tightens when you come," he whispers, watching my body. "I wonder what happens if I…" and then he's slowly entering me with two long fingers and the sensation feels so different than before.
He pumps slowly at first, but my fingers fisted in his shirt encourage more.
And so do my words. "More," I plead.
"How?" he asks. "How do you need more, Bella?" It's genuine.
"I don't— I'm not sure. I just need it."
He thrusts his fingers faster, pressing up and angling down, and when the tingles start, I spread my knees in anticipation. And then he's going harder.
"Like that," I gasp.
"Hard?" he asks. There's a slight taunt that tightens my nipples. I missed this.
"Edward," I gasp. He's right next to me, stubble from his face presses against my jaw as he nibbles my lobe and whispers into my ear.
All at once, I'm arching, moaning, coming against his fingers. There's an intensity to it that's unlike when he rubs my clit, but both are incredibly fantastic, and I can't believe something in life can feel so good.
"Oh my god," I moan, floating back down, catching my breath.
Edward pulls out his fingers and rubs my slit, brushing against my clit and it makes me jump. I'm so heightened and sensitive and burning up inside.
"Again," he whisper desperately.
My fingers circle his wrist, stopping his movements. "I need a minute."
He pulls himself away and lays beside me.
We finish the movie in peace and quiet. Edward pulls me into him, rubs my back, plays with the ends of my hair before I reach up and kiss him. And I mean I really kiss him. Hard lips press against his as I move over him. I'm naked from the waist down and my lips move hurriedly, hungry against his.
He holds my wrists down against his chest to stop me from touching him, but I grind my center against his, moaning from the rough feel of the denim between my legs.
"Let me, Edward," I whisper. "Please, let me."
His fingers loosen slowly until they're holding on as tightly as his resolve. And then I can't even feel them around my wrists anymore.
I reach down and unbutton his jeans, and he doesn't stop me. It's been too long, and he's made me feel so good, so it's my turn to return the favor.
He shoves his jeans down and off, and I'm over him, grind myself against the very engorged rod under the thing cotton of his boxers. He lets me though, he doesn't tell me it's too much or too fast, and I can't believe he's letting me.
I slide my body to his side and pull down his boxers. He's very hard, swollen, and wet. My hand reaches for him, and I ask him for the lube.
Peeling the blankets off, I lay my head on his belly, and wrap my fist around his cock.
It's thicker than I remember but still magnificent. Swollen, red, veiny, large.
My hand glides up and down slowly, rotating at the head, pulling moans and pre-cum from his body. I try to remember how he likes it.
His fingers find my hair and grip it tightly. Edward's hips meet me thrust for thrust, and before I know it, he's growing thicker in my hand, warmer to the touch, and then his body goes rigid as he explodes around us.
I help him clean up as he comes to, and then, sated, Edward and I lay awake in the dark room. He TV is off, the moon hides behind heavy clouds, and the only sound is our breathing.
"Was that okay?" I whisper.
"Yes, of course. What about for you?"
"Yes, I loved it."
"What about it did you love?" he asks curiously. "I think…" he trails off for a moment, thinking. "I think it's a good time to discuss what we like, don't like, that kind of stuff."
"I like when you, uhm, just do it."
He laughs. "What do you mean?"
"You know, like, you don't ask. You just… you just touch me. I like that."
"I want to make sure you always consent though, Bella."
"I do."
He chuckles again. "You might not."
"I will."
"What if I want to do it when I'm driving? Or at the movies? Or what if we take a class together next year and I want to do it during a lecture? These are things that maybe turn me on but not you. Maybe you won't consent to them."
Thoughts of what he just said float around me. Would I let him touch me anywhere any time? I know the answer before I can finish my thought.
"I will."
He groans, rubbing his eyes. "Bella, how are you so fucking perfect for me?"
"What about? What do you like or not like?"
"I like getting you off. I can't tell you how much that turns me on. I like feeling your skin on mine. Even now, I feel good, whole. I like smelling you near me, especially when you're turned on. I really like that. I like your innocence but also your confidence when you touch me."
"What about when I'm not innocent anymore?"
"What do you mean?"
Shyness falls over me. "It's not my plan to be a virgin forever, Edward. What about when I'm not an innocent little virgin anymore?"
He turns to his side so we're facing each other. It's still dark, but I can make out the outline of this body.
"Innocence doesn't always mean virgin, Bella. I see it as pure, undiluted, mine."
What he says doesn't make clear sense, but that's okay. I have so many more questions I want to ask, but I stick to this one: "are you planning on… you know… having sex with me, Edward?"
He laughs which takes me by surprise.
"Am I planning on having sex with my girlfriend?" he asks, leaning into my ear and whispering. "Abso-fucking-lutely," he grins.
~!~
"Bella, wake up!" Edward says, panicked. I'm still half asleep though, so I don't really want to get up. I wave him off and pull the covers around me tighter. "It's time for school."
Okay, that wakes me up.
It's 7:04 and we're about to be late. Uhm, what? When did we fall asleep?
Edward throws me an old sweatshirt and lets me use a toothbrush before we rush downstairs and head to school. I didn't even have a chance to brush my hair, so I do two loose French braids, and clean up some old makeup under my eyes.
Edward looks over and smirks.
"What?" I ask as he pulls into the parking lot.
Edward smiles bigger, brighter, and gets out of his car. It's a bright day but still a little cold. He's got sunglasses on hiding his tired eyes as he meets me on the other side of the door. Once I shut the door, he pulls me in for a kiss. But this isn't just a kiss.
This is the kiss.
In front of everyone.
This is the kiss that says she's mine.
And so does the hoodie I'm wearing. And the messy hair. And the hickey I must have given him on his neck.
Shit.
"You look like you just spent the last few hours taking it from behind," Jasper jokes, tugging on a braid.
I roll my eyes. "I didn't."
Alice looks at me and I smile, turning back to Jasper. "Not from behind," I joke.
Alice pulls me away with a squeal and says, "tell me everything!"
We spend first period texting back and forth. I do tell her everything just as she's asked because she's my bestie and I can finally get her back for telling me all the stuff she's done with Jasper. Although Alice seems to be loving this…
By lunch, she's totally filled in and I'm pretty sure she's on a high.
We sit and laugh and enjoy each other like we should have been doing all year.
Jasper and Edward joke easily, his eyes crinkle with every laugh. The swelling from the fight he was in has gone down, but a small bruise colors the corner.
I make a mental note to get him to tell me about the meeting with Dimitri later.
In science, we take our test. I'm done before Edward and way before Allie. I wish I could whisper the answers because she just doesn't get Biology, but I can't and it makes me sad. Should I have studied harder with her? Could I have done anything different?
She takes the entire period, and I don't get much time to talk to her as we walk to our next class.
At the end of the day, Edward greets me at my locker with a kiss. It's still a little weird to be so open about it. Lauren, Jessica, and all of Victoria's friends stare openly, and I maybe deepen the kiss just to prove a point. Edward pulls back and laughs. He knows exactly what I'm up to, but he doesn't say anything.
Work goes quickly. There's a bingo game that I help out with to pass the time.
Edward picks me up and holds my hand the entire way home. And then we're parked out front of my house. And neither of us says anything.
"What's wrong?" I ask, glancing over.
He shakes his head.
"You sure? You look—"
"It was just a rough therapy session, that's all."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Edward considers it. His hand goes from gripping my hand to my leg. The other bounces under the steering wheel.
"What time do you have to be home?" I ask.
"Curfew is ten."
"Want to go to the shed?"
He nods.
This time I do it all.
I open the door, turn on the music, flip on the heaters, surround us with blankets, warm his aching heart.
He sits stoically, looking forward at nothing in particular. Leaning forward, I grab the case with pre-rolled joints, pluck one, and grab a lighter. I inhale a few times to get it going before I pass it to him. Edward looks over at me. His eyes are vacant and honestly it's a little scary.
He doesn't take the joint.
"Edward, what's wrong?" I ask softer.
"Rosalie knows who killed our mother." And then he breaks down. It's sudden and jarring. Hot tears roll quickly down his face. I'm on him in a second. My arms fling around his neck, rub his shoulder. My chest presses against his, squeezing him tightly. "He's… he…" Edward can't form the words, but that's okay. I hold him until he's able to. "He's dead."
Edward pulls back and watches me.
"How?" I ask.
Edward shrugs. "She worked with the private investigator my dad hired. They can't say for sure this guy did it, but I can feel it, Bella."
"How did he die?"
"He was picked up on charges like two years after my mom—" Edward stops and breathes before continuing. "Someone pulled a homemade knife on him in prison for something. I don't know. That's how he died."
"When?"
"Four years ago."
I nod.
"How do you feel about that?"
He laughs sarcastically. "Pissed off I couldn't fucking do it myself. Angry I can't go visit him. Relieved to finally have answers."
I nod at his statement. Makes sense. I don't ask many more questions as he pretty much fills in the gaps. Rosalie wanted to tell him during family therapy to have the therapist there to calm him down, talk him through his emotions, help him process his thoughts. Edward says his dad broke down for the first time ever and it was a relief to know he still cares. Edward talks about what the investigator found, and how he connected this guy to it, but he talks in circles and broken thoughts, and I just let him go because it's cathartic the way he's working through this.
After an hour, when everything has been said, Edward pulls me under the blanket, cocoons us between the old leather and the heavy blanket. I lay flat against his chest and breathe with him.
"Hey Bella?" he whispers.
"Hm?" I breathe into his chest as his lips press into my hair.
"I love you."
Well, well, well! What do you think? What would you do next if you were Bella? What's your predication for how the story will end? See you in the next chapter :)!
