Woo hoo I'm back! Sorry for the lack of updates. I had to study for a very, very important test. Then I had to take the very, very important test. Then I had to celebrate for passing the very, very important test! Then the holidays happened, but now I'm ready to wrap this up! I wanted to get this out ASAP for you guys, so overlook the mistakes please. Happy New Year to all! See you in the next update 😊


It's early March now, and the last few weeks have been… interesting.

Jasper and Alice are stronger then ever after his mom goes to rehab. Jasper came home one day to his mom choking on her own vomit. It was the rock bottom they all needed. Alice has been with Jasper every free second she's able to, even sneaking out to sleep next to him so he's not alone. It's intense but I know he needs it.

One night after work, Japers on the porch smoking a bowl. The weather is brisk but the cold breaks and the ground unthaws enough for the mud to stick to my shoes as I walk over to him.

He doesn't greet me but that's okay. This isn't easy for Jasper, I know that. But I sit with him quietly for awhile anyways. My house is empty and after Edward told me he's working with my dad, I don't feel as scared to exist in there anymore. I didn't believe it at first—there was absolutely no way my dad, after everything he's done, would be working to put Dimitri behind bars.

But Edward and Jasper haven't been selling in weeks so maybe I'm wrong.

"You're alright, Bella," Jasper says easily after a while.

It makes me smile. "You too, Jasper."

I walk across the road and into my empty house. Edward's in therapy tonight and usually when his dad joins, I don't hear from him for the rest of the night. They're still working through, but Edward has been genuine and devoted and so kind this time around. He says he talks about me to his therapist, tells me his dad's nervous about the intensity of our relationship, and that Rosalie supports us all the way.

Speaking of Rosalie, she and I have grown closer. We've met up a few times for dinner and it's pretty easy with her. She's the only other person in this world I've seen put Edward in his place, and I absolutely love it.

Edward.

He's… something else.

I sink into my bed, under my covers, and relax. He loves me and he tells me all the time. At first, it was hard to hear. The only other person who's said that since my mom died is Alice, so hearing Edward, my boyfriend, tell me he loves me definitely took some transition time to believe and understand and comprehend.

I still haven't said it back, and he never pressures me, but I know I do. I know I love him. Hopefully one day I'm able to tell him as easily as he can tell me.

I tell him in other ways though. Like when I lay my body against his and run my fingers through his hair on the nights he's struggling. Like when I leave him notes in his journal that he told me about telling him how wonderful of a person he is. Like when I cook him and his dad dinner.

He accepts and smiles and holds me and understands this is all I can give right now.

~!~

Later that night, just as I'm finishing up my math homework, the door to my room unlocks and opens. It's Edward. He's the only one who uses the code besides me.

"Hey," I tell him, surprised to see him.

He doesn't say anything. Instead, he paces back and forth, hand in his hair. This happens sometimes after family therapy, but I don't normally see him.

When he stops, I can hear his breaths.

Ragged, uneven, shallow.

Pulling on his hand, I drag him down to the bed with me. His back is against my headboard as he sits up, and I throw a leg over his body to lay against him. My chest rests on his as I hold him against me. Jagged breaths slow, and when I scrape my nails against his arms, he finally wraps his around me.

We rock back and forth softly until his breathing slows and he's able to work through the mental turmoil. Sometimes he explains what happens, sometimes he doesn't.

We're quiet for a while, his hands tickle my back and dip into the waistband of my leggings, finding home against my warmth.

"He talked to my therapist about fucking medication," he explains. "Medication, Bella!"

"For what?"

"My panic attacks. I told them I'm not fucking taking that shit."

"What did they say?"

"My therapist said nothing. My dad rattled off all the clinical ways it can help. I'm not—" he stops short, swallowing hard. "I'm not fucking crazy."

"I know," I whisper to him. "I know you're not. How often are you having them?"

He shrugs. "Sometimes after a bad dream, but sometimes I go weeks without one."

We sit in a comfortable silence, me still straddled, his arms now wrapped around me.

"This is my favorite place," he says softly. His large hands gliding up and down my back. "You're my favorite place, baby," he says softer. He runs his fingers across my body. Soon his own calms, and he whispers absolutely everything under my skin.

~!~

School hasn't been too bad. There's still Victoria and her stupid lackeys, but I don't really care what they have to say anymore. This is the happiest I've ever been, and not even they can ruin it.

Once I stopped giving Victoria attention for her antics, she stopped trying so hard.

It's Friday and Edward's waiting at my locker before lunch. Sometimes we skip entirely and spend the thirty minutes making out in his car. Occasionally we move to the backseat and one of us is usually able to get off before science. Today it's pouring outside, so we decide to just stay in the cafeteria.

Jasper's perked up a little, and Alice tells a story she heard about Lauren. Edward chuckles and pulls me in closer.

"Diner tonight?" Jasper asks at the end of lunch.

"Work till 6," I remind him.

"Duh. After?"

I smile and nod. He always tries to include me in everything, and it warms me. I look to Edward, and he nods.

"Okay."

While we wait for Mr. Banner to start, Edward turns around and leans against the lab table with a smirk.

"Come over after dinner?" he asks, tucking my hair behind my ear. "Stay the night. My dad's working overnight."

The smirk, his blue eyes, the thought of his very talented fingers working me over until I'm—

"Take your seats!" Mr. Banner calls, pulling me from my thoughts.

I nod with a smile before Edward turns around.

"Slut," Alice whisper-giggles.

~!~

At dinner, Alice and I browse jobs in Seattle. She applies to a few boutiques, and I take Mrs. Copeland up on her offer of setting me up with some interviews for libraries in Seattle. Edward tucks his fingers between my thighs as we finish eating.

His pinky slides against the seam, pressing it against the spot that makes my hips twitch. One of his favorite games is semi-public foreplay, and I've really grown to like it.

By the time we're in his room, he has me undressed, tossed onto his bed, his fingers diving into me.

"Were you this wet at dinner?" he asks into the hollow of my throat.

"Mhm," I manage to respond.

"You're so fucking perfect, Bella," he tells me, laying over my body.

His fingers pump in and out of me with a pressure and rhythm that has be exploding by the time his thumb grazes my clit.

He helps me down slowly, never stopping, kissing my neck, sucking my nipples into this mouth, capturing my lips in a kiss.

"Bella," he whispers. "Bella, I want—"

"Yes," I tell him. Yes. Anything. I'll never deny him. I want so much right now. I want everything.

He slows his fingers before pulling them out. Under the light of his bedroom, they glisten with my arousal.

Edward slips the two wet fingers into his mouth, savoring the taste. This isn't the first time he's done this, but each time turns me on more and more.

"Please," I whimper.

His eyes flit to mine as he slowly slides to his knees at my feet. Intensity stares back at me, and I can't look away. Not when he pulls my panties down. Not when he plants my feet at the edge of the bed. Not when he dips down to taste my entrance for the first time ever.

It's warm and wet and heavy.

He maintains a penetrating eye contact until his tongue softly licks from my entrance to the tip of my clit, and then I break. My eyes roll and my back arches.

It's so different from his fingers. Less intense but much more satisfying. When I'm able lean up on my elbows, he's still staring.

And then his mouth closes over my clit, and I can't help but squeeze his head with my thighs.

"Oh," I whimper, fingers gripping his sheets.

He does it again and again, his togue flicks faster, harder, and just as I explode, Edward nestles between my thighs, his shoulders nudge me open so that as I come apart, I can't push him out.

And I'm so glad because holy shit.

His tongue lapse at me softly, bringing me down from the most intense thing I've ever felt.

I can't help but giggle, and as he pulls away, the cool air settles over my hot, slick, swollen skin.

"Oh my god," I pant. "Edward."

He climbs over my body and kisses me.

It's tangy and warm as he shares my taste with me.

I reach down and grip where I know he's hot and ready.

We flip over, I pull him out, and just as Edward reaches to grab the lube, I sink to my knees.

"What're you—" he starts but before he can finish my tongue swipes around the head.

I haven't done this in months, but I'm not nervous. I want to make him feel just as good as he made me feel. I want to show him I'm ready for any next step he's ready to give me. I want to match his passion.

So I do.

"Bella, you don't have to—" he starts again, but I swallow the head, looking up at him. "Fuuuuck," he grunts.

My tongue refamiliarizes itself with Edward's length brushing against the smooth, hard skin, following swollen veins, circling the tip before diving back down. Alice's instruction repeat over and over in my mind.

Squeeze the base, pump while you suck, use your free hand to play with his balls.

"I'm trying not to come," Edward pants.

When I look up his mouth is agape, he's resting his upper half up on his elbow so he can watch, his palms go from squeezing his sheets to rigidly straight back to squeezing as I take him deeper than I ever have before.

His hips thrust gently as the hard muscles of his thighs tighten around me. The thrust of his hips send his length deeper into my mouth and when I gag, Edward comes undone.

His back flattens, his hips twitch, and he tries to pull me off.

"Move, Bella," he grunts, but I don't.

I keep him in my mouth as he fills my mouth and throat with his warmth.

"Fuck!" he grits out between his teeth, panting.

Watching Edward lose control is single handedly the hottest thing I've ever seen, and I tell him that later when it's dark and he's rubbing my back as we lull into a sleepy silence.

"You're one to talk," he whispers. "Feeling you convulse and come against me almost made me come in my fucking pants. I'm surprised I could last so fucking long."

Edward brushes the hair out of my face and kisses me deeply, slowly, and the way only he can.

"Was it okay?" he asks after a while.

"Yes," I tell him honestly through a yawn.

He turns me over so my back is to his chest, drawing simple shapes on my skin until I fall asleep.

~!~

Edward drops me off the next morning before his dad gets home. We have plans to go to a party at Bens tonight, and Alice wants to get ready together.

Pick you up at 5! She texts that afternoon.

I take a quick nap, send Edward an I miss you text, and hop in the shower. It's only been a few weeks, but my hairs getting longer again. My fingers skim the outfits lining my closet. It's warmer out, but I'm sure tonight will be chilly, so I settle on some stockings, a sweater dress, and some boots. As I throw them into an overnight bag, my phone dings.

I'm outside, Jasper texts. Hm, I guess he's taking me to Alice's.

Before jogging over to his car, I check the overflowing mailbox and toss everything in the my bag. They're probably all bills and debt collection notices that my dad isn't paying.

"I thought Allie was picking me up?" I ask him, jogging to the passenger side.

When I open the door, Jasper's sitting there.

"What?" I giggle. "Jasper, what are you doing?"

"You're driving."

Panic rushes through me. "No!" I practically yell.

Edward has been trying to teach me the last few weeks. It started in his driveway where he taught me about all the gadgets in the car—brake and gas pedals, turn signal, headlights, that kind of stuff. Then he let me reverse and pull forward in his driveway. Then he had me drive forward and backward down the abandoned street of the playground. The last time he let me drive, I bumped into a street sign when I tried to make a U turn.

"You're good, Bella. Get in."

We fight about it for at least five minutes before he stops responding and Alice starts calling.

Fucking Jasper.

"This was your boyfriend's idea," he says as I sit behind the wheel. "He thinks you're too nervous to drive with him, so now I'm stuck with you." It's a joke, but I'm too nervous to laugh.

Behind the wheel, car in reverse, I slowly back up while gripping the wheel.

"If we go any slower the car will stop."

I speed up a little as I make my way down the street to the stop sign.

"Go left," he says slowly like I totally just forgot the directions.

We go fifteen under the speed limit, and when a car comes at me faster than I was anticipating, I let go of the wheel and cover my face.

"Okay, don't do that," he laughs, reaching over to take control.

He's closer to me than ever before, and I hate this. I'm all nervous and on edge and out of my comfort zone. Jasper's voice doesn't sound nervous, but how could he be so calm? There's no way.

"Bella, look at me," he says. Uncovering my eyes, I glance at him. His hands are still on the wheel and he's looking over at me. "Take a breath. You're good. It's just a car."

I do as he says and take a breath, focus on the road, and look around. The road isn't busy at all, so I take another moment to collect myself.

"Find your confidence. Believe in yourself. You got this."

This is the most encouraging he's ever been, and for a moment he almost sounds like Edward.

So I do. I breathe in then out and let it go.

The rest of the ride to Alice's goes smoothly. As I pull into her empty driveway and put the car in park, I turn to Jasper. He looks normal, like he didn't just help me through one of my first times driving.

"Thank you," I say softly.

He smiles and nods before getting out.

Alice greets us inside and we all head up to her room. Jasper sits in boredom as we do our makeup and hair. She sings loudly to a song on the radio, and he watches her with a smile.

Miss you, Bella Edward texts just after dinner.

Come over? We're all at Allie's.

Waiting for my dad to head to work. I'll probably just have to meet you at the party.

When Alice and Jasper start to kiss, I grab my stuff and excuse myself. In the spare room I dress quickly and decide to go through the mail. Most of it was junk, just like I figured, but the letter from the University of Washington catches my eye.

Nervously, I slide my finger through the envelope and pull out the letter skimming the wording and looking for one word.

Accepted.

It takes reading and rereading a dozen times for it to sink in.

I did it.

I was accepted.

All these speed bumps, the weeks of getting my grades up and submitting my quarter three grades… and it all paid off.

"Hey, Bella," Edward says in the phone when I call him.

"I did it!" I yell into the receiver.

"I heard! Jasper said you did so fucking good—"

"Not driving. I mean, yeah I did that too, but I got in Edward. I was accepted to the University of Washington." It finally hits me now, and the tears prick my lower lash line. "I can't believe it," I whisper.

"I can," he says back. "I fucking knew you'd get in, baby. I'm so proud of you."

"I can't wait to see you, Edward."

"Me too, Bella. See you soon, okay? I love you."

I want to say it now, but I'm scared, so I just nod and we say goodbye. In the spare room, I feel it.

Hope.

And it doesn't feel a thing like regret.

~!~

We pull up to the party and Edward's waiting. He pulls me in and hugs me tight.

"University of Washington's newest student!" he says, hyping me up.

Inside, I let myself feel free. We do shots, and Alice and I drink the mixed drinks Edward makes. We dance to the music, hop around, and laugh at everything. Jasper smokes a bowl and watches his girl. Edward sips from the same cup he's been nursing all night. When I dance over to him, smile on my face and love in my bones, I question him.

"You gonna catch up to us or what, Cullen?" I tease.

He smirks down at me. God, he's so tall.

"It's called pacing yourself, Swan," he retorts, leaning down to kiss my forehead.

Alice pulls me back out to the living room to dance some more. Her hands are on my body in the way only a best friend's could be. Or else people might begin to question our sexual orientation.

It's on the fourth song and when I begin to notice I'm sweating that I disengage and make my way into the kitchen.

Edward and Jasper aren't their lose, happy selves right now. They're talking business for the first time in weeks… with Jake Black.

"Edward?" I ask, sobering quickly.

"Hey," he says with a smile, extending his arm to offer my solace.

Jake looks at us skeptically but continues talking.

"He'll never go for it, and I'm not throwing my guys under the bus. Do you even know what this could mean?" Jake asks, panicked. No one responds. "No, really. Do you know what this could do to us? To all of us? We aren't you, Cullen. Our daddies aren't putting us through college no matter what. If we get caught—if he narks on us—"

"He won't."

"He's a fucking drunk, dude. The fuck you mean he won't?"

Jake's eyes linger on me a beat longer and I know they're talking about my dad. But why are they talking about my dad?

"Edward?" I ask softly.

Edward doesn't verbally acknowledge, but he squeezes my shoulders with his arm, suffocating me to his body.

"He is," Edward agrees. "He's a drunk, and he was Aro's guinea pig for his fucked up drug, but that's part of the reason he's in on this."

"What's his cut?" Jake asks.

"Separate from yours."

"That's not what I asked—"

Jasper interrupts. "Twenty grand." I can tell by his tone of voice he's over it. "We're paying him separately. Your cut comes from Didyme."

Jake's lips purse and he wars with himself something awful. The pull in two directions has him split, but he finally gives in. Two arms lower in resignation.

"You tell her we each want fifteen and we've got a deal."

Edward nods. "I'll run it by her."

Jake storms off and I can breathe again. My body's currently trying to process the blood-alcohol content, but my mind is sober.

"What's going on?" I ask.

Edward shakes his head and turns his body fully to me. His height towers over me and his lips lower to the shell of my ear. "I don't want to ruin your night. I promise I'll tell you everything in the morning."

"Edward—" I start, but he cuts me off.

"Princess," he starts, a heavy breath in my hair. "Please. I promise you, Bella. Tomorrow. Tonight is for you."

I cave in and nod. Of course I do.

Edward pulls back, a smile on his face, and he bends to press red lips to mine.

Love screams through my blood and out of the goosebumps that prick my skin.

"Edward," I whisper before he deepens the kiss. When my body reacts, allowing him to consume everything in me, he pulls back.

"Come here," he tells me, holding out his hand.

I let him guide me to the backdoor and outside. It's chilly, but not unbelievably so. Ben has a really nice house, and while he often has parties and bonfires in his backyard, I've never see the building Edward and I are walking towards.

It's situated so far at the back of the house that it sort of doesn't even look like it belongs to the house, but the siding matches, and so I figure it does.

We walk quietly across the wet ground the face of the woods, and then to left where Edward leads me inside what appears to be a guest house turned shed.

There's an old couch and tiny kitchen with lawn mowers and yard tools taking space inside the large room.

"What is this?" I ask.

"Ben's guest house. He owes me a favor, so he gave me the key whenever I need it."

"And you need it?"

He locks the door and turns to me. "I definitely do."

Edward walks me up the stairs with the light from his phone leading the way. It looks like almost no one's been in here in so long, but it doesn't creep me out. Edward's hand guides me warmly up the steps and into a door with another couch that doesn't look as old. It's layered with blankets that smell of Tide detergent, so I know they're fresh.

"I knew I'd be selfish tonight," he whispers to me against my jaw. "I knew I couldn't wait until the party was over to be with you alone, have you, kiss you, touch your warm skin, feel the flush of your heat under my skin."

I have no words, but I do have moans, and I definitely give them to him.

We kiss forever.

Okay, not forever, but long enough that my lips are bee-stung plump and cherry red. Long enough that my arousal is obvious. Long enough that he has to adjust himself when we break away.

"Do you trust me?" he asks quietly, fingertips against my skin, words caressing my heart.

"Yes."

Edward doesn't do anything, try anything, make any moves inside the guest house. When we aren't kissing, we're talking quietly like someone might here, like we might disturb the absolute peace of this empty structure. And when we aren't kissing or talking, we're still except for the sound of our skin against each other as we caress and hold onto each other for the night, for the moment, forever.

~!~

Just after midnight, Edward and I say goodbye to our friends, and head back to his house in quiet. Our fingers locked the entire ride.

And when we're finally in his home, out of our clothes, under his covers, his lips become a little more daring, fierce. He nips at my lip with his teeth, his fingertips grip my breast, pinch my nipple, pluck deep mewls from my belly.

He takes his time tasting my chest, suckling the mound of flesh as his fingers brush through my folds.

I tell him how wet he's had me all night, and the vibrations of his groan against my skin turns me on. Thick fingers probe my entrance, teasing me before sliding up and rubbing heavy circles against my clit.

Words of encouragement fall through my lips, but then he stops. And then he slides down my body. And then his lips kiss gently down my belly, my thighs, the top of my mound.

"Do you still trust me?" he asks, pushing the blankets back.

I'm so glad for the brightness of the moon tonight as it filters through the balcony door, spewing light across Edward's face and my smooth center.

Nodding vigorously, Edward smirks.

I watch as his tongue parts my lips, pressing heavy into my folds. A slow, hard lick from my entrance to my clit has my hips lifting off the bed already.

Edward pulls back and groans before gripping my hips to hold me down and tasting me the same way three more times.

Lick. Groan.

Lick. Grunt.

Lick-nip. Gasp.

And he does it again and again.

"If you come already I'm not going to stop," he says simply. "I'm sorry," he says, tasting me again. "Lay back and enjoy yourself, because I could be down here all night."

And then I don't hear from him again.

He drowns in me.

Like literally.

I'm so wet I can feel it coat my inner thighs.

He slurps against my clit, sucking me into his mouth, flicking his tongue quickly but softly against the entire bundle of nerves.

And when he finally sinks a finger into me, I explode.

My fingers grab his sheets, his hair, my breasts, everywhere.

Everywhere.

I am everywhere.

Edward takes me to places I've never been tonight. The sensation of his tongue is softer, less intense than his fingers on my clit but I prefer it so much more.

True to his word, Edward doesn't stop until I pry him away with my palm against his forehead. I'm three orgasms deep by now, so Edward definitely wasn't kidding.

As I push him away, he stalks up my body like he's devouring his pray. He cock, hard and leaking rests against my mound and when I pull my legs up, he nestles between my folds.

The heavy weight of his shaft spreads me, and when I grind slowly against him, he closes his eyes and hangs his head.

"Stop me," he says quietly, trying to stop the thrust of his hips but he can't.

I don't want him to stop. I want this. Right now. Here. Like this. I'm tired of waiting. So I grind against him in longer strokes until I feel the head of his cock against my clit.

"Bella," he grunts breathily above me. "Baby," he pleads. "Princess," he worships.

Me.

He worships me.

"Please," he begs again. "If you don't stop me," he threatens.

But it's then that I notice his pained voice, the squeeze of his eyes, the fists tangled in his sheets, his quickened breath.

As difficult as it may be, I stop and move my body so we're no longer connected.

Edward can finally breathe.

He rolls over, his cock so erect, so hard it's like marble. The tip glistens.

"Thank you," I whisper to Edward against his skin.

"For?" he asks.

"Loving me," I answer easily. "And now it's my turn to show you love."

He nods in understanding. I can't say the words yet, but I can show him. He's warm and soft on my tongue, but rock hard. He tastes like heat and salt as his precum leaks onto my tongue. Edward nearly growls as I take him as far back into my throat as I can. And when he reaches the back, I swallow around him.

And when his hips flex, I guide his hand to my head.

Control me it says wordlessly.

Edward understands naturally as he gathers my hair in his fist and helps me along. He's slow and steady but firm. Arousal drips down my inner thighs as he lowers my mouth repeatedly against him.

"Fuck," I grunts. "I can smell you from here."

A soft moan slips out of my mouth. I love his words.

Edward's next movements are jerky and I'm confused for a moment, but the second his tongue slides inside me, I understand what's happened.

He has me turned around, my knees on either side of his body, me on top.

The thought of sixty-nining with Edward spurs me on… that, and the feel of his quick, firm tongue stroking my clit.

"Suck my cock, Princess," he mumbles between my folds.

I use my left hand to steady myself, and my right to grip his shaft as I slurp and suck on the hard pole in my mouth.

He grows harder and harder in my mouth the faster and deeper I go. When I begin to gag, out of breath from the act, Edward's hips begin to thrust and his fingers grip the back of my thighs, pulling them apart. He dives in, sucking my folds into his mouth as he explodes in my mouth. My throat accepts all he offers and as I pull off, Edward turns me so I'm facing him, kneeling over his face, and then he pulls me down.

I sit back on his chest and watch from above as his eyes lock on mine the same moment his mouth locks onto my clit.

"Oh my God," I moan loudly, reaching down to grip his hair and grind myself on his face.

As I fall apart above him, he grips my hips to keep me still. Edward brings me down slowly from the longest orgasm I've ever had.

I'm weak, my legs are jello, and I can barely hear.

Edward pulls me off his body and onto the bed. His lips leave kisses across my collarbone, my neck, the small rolls on my belly, my waist. And then he's on my lips whispering love.

~!~

The next morning I wake so relaxed. My body stretches next to his languidly, calm.

"Morning," I whisper, sitting up slowly against the pillows.

"Sleep well, did you?" he teases.

"Yep," I answer honestly.

We shower together and dress before padding our way to the kitchen.

"Stay the day," Edward says, coming up behind me as I scramble the eggs. "My dad won't be home until the afternoon. We'll just pretend like you just got here."

"You'll be sick of me," I tell him with a laugh.

"Stay the day, Bella," he says seriously.

I nod. "Okay."

Over breakfast, I finally corner him.

"Tell me about Jake and my dad."

Edward sighs.

"We finally have a plan that seems to be fool proof."

Previously, Edward talked to Dimitri but it didn't work. Dimitri brought up the contract, and Edward got pissed, so he went over Dimitri's head to his boss. Didyme. And from what Edward says… she's tough.

Tougher than tough.

She's ruthless.

"Didyme hates Dimitri as much as we do. She doesn't give two shits if J and I stay or go, but she wants Dim out first and won't cut us loose until that happens. So, we told her everything about Dim and Aro and your dad. Jake and Embry are going to step in as me and J to get on Dim's good side. Your dad's going to plant the drugs in Dim and Aro's houses next time he's there. Jake and Embry are going to give the okay that the drugs are where your dad tells me they are. Your dad doesn't know about Jake and Embry, so in case he's fucking with me on purpose, we'll know for sure. Didyme has a connection in the FDA—"

"A drug dealer has a connection in the FDA?"

Edward shakes his head. "Everything's corrupt, baby. The world is a shitty place. But yeah, Didyme is going to pin everything on those two fucktards, and once everything smooths over, she's going to cut us a check for the job."

"A check?"

"Well, probably not a check. Probably cash. You know… drug dealers." Edward shrugs sheepishly.

"And you think this will work?"

He shrugs again. Nervousness colors his face, but then he smirks.

"If it doesn't, I can't wait to fuck everyone up."

It's sinister, but I know he's just anxious.

"When will it happen?"

"Jake and Embry are already doing their job. Dim takes a while to butter up. I'd say another few weeks before your dad plants the drugs."

"I'm nervous."

Edward bumps my shoulder with his. "You're too pretty to be nervous, baby. It'll be okay, I promise."

"You can't promise that, Edward."

"I can and I do. It'll all workout."

Edward and I clean up, relax on the couch, and watch a movie. The entire time, worry eats at me for Edward and Jasper, Jake and Embry, and even my dad.

The last feeling, the one about my dad… it makes me want to vomit.

~!~

"Well, hello there Isabella—"

"Dad, she likes Bella."

"It's okay," I tell Edward, shaking it off. "How are you, Dr. Cullen?"

"Lovely. And yourself?"

"Not too bad. I hope you don't mind my being here. Edward helped me with some math and then we cooked dinner together."

"Of course not, sweetie. You're always welcome especially when homemade dinner is the result. We certainly appreciate a warm, home cooked meal."

Edward rolls his eyes.

The three of us sit together and eat. We talk about Rosalie and the baby. They're having a gender reveal party next weekend at their house that the three of us plus Jasper and Alice will be attending. We talk about Edward's future and school next year. We talk about what Dr. Cullen has planned after he moves out.

"I'm thinking of relocating in the next few years," Dr. Cullen says.

"To where?" I ask.

"California maybe. I'm getting old and would love to spend more time in a warmer climate."

"That sounds nice," I tell him with a smile. Glancing over at Edward, he doesn't look as excited. I wonder how often they've had this conversation.

"Of course, it wouldn't be until Edward is settled in life and—"

"Dad, you don't have to do that. I'll be fine. Go now if you want." His irritated tone takes me by surprise.

"Nonsense. You are my son and—"

"Jesus, dad. I'm not a child anymore. I'm eighteen and capable of handling myself."

Edward excuses himself upstairs and when his bedroom door slams shut, it sort of irritates me.

"Why is he acting like that?" I ask his dad.

Dr. Cullen sighs. "Unfortunately, Edward's been irritable lately. I'm no professional, but I think it's the unresolved feelings of knowing his mother's murderer and not having any closure.

"Oh," I say quietly. "I haven't noticed anything different."

Dr. Cullen nods. "I'm sure he wants to be his best self for you, Bella, and he saves a lot of the anger and irritation for me. It's okay." Dr. Cullen wipes his mouth and picks up his and his son's plate. "Thank you for dinner. If you'd like to excuse yourself while I clean up, maybe you can calm my son down."

I nod, but to be honest, I'm a little nervous as I walk up the steps to his bedroom. When I turn the knob and open his door, he pulls me in quickly, slams it shut, and locks the door.

Edward's face is stone cold and gives nothing away. He walks over to his speaker and starts music. We sit out on the balcony and when Edward lights up, he inhales so deeply that he coughs a little. After ten minutes, he turns to me finally.

"I'm sorry," he says, blowing a huge sigh from his lips. "He just… he doesn't get it."

"Get what?" I ask.

Edward's totally silent and when I open my mouth to ask again, he finally answers. "This is the last place I have connecting me to her. Once it's gone…"

Edward looks over at me knowing I understand.

And I do.

Nodding, I clear my throat. "Does that mean your dad should be stuck in this house that reminds him of his dead wife for the rest of his life? Shouldn't he get a chance to heal and move on, too?"

"You think I was dick?"

I shrug and nod. "Kinda."

He snorts a laugh and shakes his head. "My own girl calling me a dick."

When I look over at him, he's smirking. It's playful and testy just like him.

"Sometimes I think you're a little hard on your dad. He's done a lot for you, Edward. He's sacrificed a lot for your needs."

Edward nods. "I know he has. My therapist says he's my trigger. I need to learn how to reroute the explosion."

I'm confused. "The explosion?"

"Yeah, it's what my therapist calls it. My dad lights the fuse to this ticking time bomb inside me and I can't stop it until the bomb explodes. My therapist has been trying to work with me on ways to reroute the fuse to avoid the explosion."

"And how's it working?" I ask.

"Well, I didn't call him any names tonight."

This makes me giggle. "That's good."

"And I just fucking hate when he calls you Isabella."

I scoff at that. "Why?"

"Because that name is for me to use."

His words make me smile, but I hide it behind my hair.

"And who says only you can use it? That's my name, after all." I'm teasing him, tempting him.

Edward stands slowly and walks over to me. Soon, his hips are in the way and I can no longer see the forest in front of me. Edward's fingers glide through my hair before gripping the strands and yanking my head back so my eyes are on his above me.

"I say so, Isabella. Need I remind you who's in charge?" he asks. His voice is dark, threatening.

I giggle, teasing him. "In charge?" I challenge. "Actually, I kind of like that he calls me that."

Edward steps closer and places his hand against my throat.

Oh my.

The butterflies light up inside my stomach and I almost gasp in excitement. His thumb presses against my pulse point and he smirks at the fast beating under his thumb.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

"Pull my dick out, Isabella."

His fingers grip harder.

My eyes almost roll back from the pleasure.

He's marble in my hands.

"Put it in your mouth."

He's warm and salty against my tongue, dripping his arousal in my mouth.

"Hands on the armrests," he commands.

And then he uses my mouth for his pleasure. I suck hard as his hips fly back and forth. The smooth texture of his shaft against my tongue almost has me exploding.

"Pull your pants down."

There's a bang under us, and then the door opens below. I can hear his dad walking around on the patio below us. He wouldn't be able to see us unless he walks in to the grass and turns around.

I do as he says.

"Touch yourself," he whispers as his dad answers his phone below. We hear a squeak from his weight on the metal furniture below us.

Shit. His dad's staying outside.

Edward repositions his fingers against my neck as he drives his cock further down my throat.

"Two fingers inside. Now."

I do and swallow a moan. Edward reaches down and pulls my fingers out, swallowing them whole. His tongue flicks against my skin, tasting my wetness.

"Rub your clit. Don't come."

Edward lulls his head back and his thrusts become shallower as his shaft swells in my mouth.

"Open your mouth."

Edward pulls back so just the head is in my mouth.

"Stick out your tongue and don't stop touching yourself."

I have my head tilted back, mouth open, tongue out, fingers running up and down my slit as Edward jerks himself off. He hisses and pants and his thighs tense as the first rope of come spills into my mouth. He moves so the second and third land on my face and neck. The last few fall onto my cheeks and lips.

"Don't fucking move."

Edward falls to his knees, grips my hips and pulls me forward in the chair. It's loud but his dad's conversation doesn't cease below us.

Edward's face first into my pussy before I can even think. My knees are pushed back so far that when his tongue strikes my clit, it's so sensitive.

I gasp and mewl and bite my lip, tasting his come that decorates my face.

He pushes two fingers into me and sucks my clit into his mouth.

"Come," he mumbles over my center, eyes on me.

I come so hard my bottom lifts the chair and I almost tip over. Edward pulls the chair forward and lets me come down slowly.

"You look so fucking sexy right now," Edward says, gripping his half hard cock in his hand.

"Put that thing away," I joke tiredly.

He helps me up and cleans me off in his bathroom before we sit on his couch.

"Fuck, I'm sorry—" he starts.

"No," I interrupt.

"No?"

"No. There's nothing to be sorry about. That was one of the hottest things I've ever experienced in my life."

Edward smiles and nods. "Same, Bella."

Eventually, we go back downstairs, and Edward apologizes to his dad. He says everything to his dad that he told me upstairs. Dr. Cullen smiles and nods.

"I understand, son."

Later, when we're watching a rerun of Friends on TV, I tell Edward how proud I am of him.

He looks at me like I'm crazy.

"Why?"

"Because you're changing. You're trying to be better. I admire that."

Edward stares at me for a few minutes before leaning over and laying his lips against mine.

"I better take you home, Bella."

"Why?"

"If I don't, my dick is going to be so sore."

I laugh loudly and nod.

In the car, he holds my hand, my leg, my breast when he kisses me goodbye.

"I love your body," he says, smiling sheepishly.

Upstairs, as I glance in the mirror, I wonder what he sees. My breasts are plump and perky and honestly one of my favorite parts of my body. But my thighs are thick and touch, my belly isn't flat or toned. I have blemishes and scars and an uneven skin tone. I'm nothing like Edward.

He has lovely colored skin, artsy tattoos, toned and broad chest and shoulders, and long, strong legs. I wonder briefly why he finds me attractive but then, for the first time ever, I just don't care.

He's with me, and I can tell by the way he watches me and the amount of erections I give him a day are proof that he does find me attractive.

I love you, baby.

It's random and late when he sends the text.

I love you, too I type then delete. I want to tell him, but not over text. He deserves better than that.

~!~

The following weekend, Dr. Cullen drives me and Edward to Seattle to attend Rosalie and Emmett's gender reveal party. Alice and Jasper meet us later, just before the party.

Rosalie opens the door and she's sporting a tight, white dress with the cutest, tiniest little belly.

"Oh my gosh you look adorable!" I tell her, hugging her to me.

Normally, Rosalie is so beautiful it hurts. But a pregnant Rosalie is simply glowing.

The party is awesome. We meet their friends and some of Emmett's family who are exactly like him. When it's time, Rosalie and Emmett shoot off confetti guns that explode with pink.

"A girl!" I squeal, jumping in excitement.

Edward smiles, pulling me into his side, kissing the top of my head.

Dr. Cullen hugs everyone around. "A girl!" he shouts.

"You want to have kids?" he asks easily over the commotion of the news.

"Sure."

"Okay, let's go…" Edward jokes, grabbing my hand to lead me away.

I slap him away. "We sort of have to actually have sex to do that, though," I joke.

"I know," he says seriously.

"Are you… do you want—?"

"Do you, Bella?"

"Yes. When?"

He chuckles. "Well, I guess not tonight. Maybe… soon?"

I nod for a long time.

Soon. I'm going to have sex with Edward soon.

~!~

Jasper, Alice, Edward, and I leave together. We say our goodbyes, Dr. Cullen tells us to drive safely, and Alice and I basically pass out in the back seat halfway home.

When we get hone, Edward guides me home, up the steps, into my room, and onto my bed.

"You look so pretty today. Pretty like a Princess."

He makes me smile as he gets on his knees to help me out of my shoes, pull my leggings down, and help me out of my shirt. I wrap my arms around his neck as he scoots closer to my body on the bed. We're face to face this way, and he nuzzles my nose with his.

"I love you," I whisper easily.

Edward freezes.

And then I freeze.

And we break apart.

"Did you…" Edward starts, his hands on my hips. "Did you mean that or are you just—"

"I mean it," I whisper truthfully.

Heavy tears fall hot against my cheek.

He brushes them away with his thumb.

"Thank you," he whispers over and over. "Thank you."

Edward knows what this took. He realizes it wasn't easy. Edward understands everything.

"I love you," I whisper again, leaning into him. "I love you."

It gets easier and easier and easier the more I say it. More tears fall.

It feels so good to say. Relief falls from my eyes.

"I love you, Edward."

He pulls me into his body and swallows me whole.

"I love you, Bella."

~!~

The next two weeks fly by. Everything is easy.

Everything.

My dad has been home more, but it's not the same. He's… normal.

The house is clean, no puke, not even any beer bottles in the kitchen sink. We don't talk, and that's perfectly fine with me, but things are different.

When I tell Edward, he looks skeptical. "Don't get too excited, Bella. I don't want him to hurt you."

I nod. "I know, it's just weird."

"Exactly."

"Any news about the Dimitri situation?" I ask as Edward merges onto the highway.

"No," he says in a clipped tone that means yes but he's not ready to worry my yet.

"Are you excited to have a niece?" I ask, knowing the answer.

"Yes," he says with a smile.

~!~

"We're thinking Mae," Rosalie says over dinner.

"Mae?" Edward asks, mid bite.

"Yeah. I wanted to name her after mom, but I didn't want to flat out call her Esme, so we decided on Mae."

Edward's frozen, unreadable.

I place my hand on his back gently and tell her, "I think that is a beautiful name, Rose."

Edward nods. "Mom would like that."

Rose smiles. "I thought so too."

Rosalie asks us about school and finals and prom.

We sort of laugh and she looks at us like we're crazy.

"I totally forgot about prom," I admit.

"Do you want to go?" he asks, putting his arm around the back of my chair.

"Edward, no!" Rose says in annoyance. "You have to do a promposal!"

"A what?" he asks, brows knit together.

Rose rolls her eyes. "It's like a proposal except instead of proposing marriage, you propose prom!"

"That's stupid," he says, and I laugh.

"We're not like that," I say with a shake of my head.

Rose drops it and asks about Dr. Cullen. "I think it's time we set him up on a date, Edward."

"What? Why?"

"Uhm because he deserves love, too."

The butt heads on this one, but Edward doesn't shut her down totally.

"My friend from works mom is also a widower. She's extremely smart and really pretty, not to mention weird just like him. I think they'd hit it off."

Edward scoffs. "Sure, whatever."

~!~

On the way home, I ask Edward about it.

"Are you okay with your dad dating?" I ask.

Edward shrugs. "He's dated before, but nothing was ever that serious I don't think. I mean, he's brought home a girl once or twice—"

"He has?" I ask, shocked.

Edward chuckles. "Yes. He's human, Bella."

"How did you know?"

Edward shutters. "I could hear."

My eyes bug out when I glance at him. "You could?"

"Yes. And it was…" He shudders again. "I brought it to his attention the next day because I was disgusted."

"What'd he say?"

Edward smiles and shakes his head. "He was embarrassed. It was the last time I heard him."

"Oh my god. I would die," I admit honestly.

"You wouldn't like knowing someone could hear us?" he taunts.

"Your dad? No!"

Edward laughs. "Maybe not him. Maybe someone else."

"Maybe," I say but shake my head not even able to think about that right now.

Edward grabs my hand and puts it in his lap on his way home. He brings it to his lips and places a kiss on each knuckle as we pull into his driveway.

"Stay the night, Bella. Please?"

I smile and nod. "Okay."

"Tell me again," he says as we walk into his house.

"I love you."

~!~

Later that night, after pizza and a phone call to his dad to prove that he's home, we make our way up to his bedroom.

"I love when he's on night shift because you can sleep over, but he's so annoying when he doesn't trust me," Edward admits with a sigh. "Shower?" he asks, walking to his bathroom.

I nod and let him complain some more he starts the shower and undressed me.

He stops when his thumbs drag against my nipples.

He washes my hair, brushes it down my back, soaps me up, and washes me clean. We embrace under the warm stream until his lips find my neck. I know where this will lead and I absolutely love it.

Edward falls to his knees, pushes my back against the tile wall, and rests one of my legs over his shoulder.

He leans forward and tastes me from bottom to top. His tongue against my slit takes my breath away.

"Yes," I moan gently, fingers in his wet hair.

Big blue eyes stare up at me as he tastes me, drawing out a slow, heavy orgasm. He holds me up as I crash down.

Outside the shower, we dry each other off. He wraps me in a huge towel and we fall against each other on the bed.

His hand in my wet hair, mine trace the outline of his tattoos. When his fingers find my center again, I push down and mewl loudly.

Two fingers enter me, but I need more.

"Edward," I moan. "More. Please."

"More what, Princess? Anything. I'll give you anything."

I reach down and still his wrist, meeting his eyes.

"I'm ready, Edward. Please. I'm ready."

Edward swallows hard and nods.

He pulls his fingers out and rubs my clit.

"Edward—"

"You need to be soaked, Bella. It might hurt."

I nod in understanding. Edward's huge. He's far longer and thicker than anything that's ever been inside me. But I'm so beyond ready for him.

He's gentle, caring, soft as he works me up slowly. Arousal coats my center, my inner thighs. I'm dripping by the time I float down from my orgasm.

Edward's on top of me, still naked and very hard.

His erection hard against my belly. He moves us back so I'm resting against the pillows, then he reaches inside the nightstand to pull out a condom.

I watch as he rolls it down his length before gripping the base and dragging it through my folds. He's never done this before, and I can't help but gasp. Anytime he's been between my folds, he'd pull away soon after. Now, he drags his shaft purposefully, heavy, trying to prepare me for what's to come.

"If it hurts, tell me, okay?"

I nod, but I won't. I want this. I want this so badly.

He settles between me, his lips against mine. When he pushes in, he pulls back to watch my face.

He works his way inside slowly. At first it feels weird, like a stretch. But the more he pushes in, the more he fills me up, the tighter the burn and the fuller I feel. Moving my hips, I try to make more room, to find a position that will allow pleasure instead of what I'm feeling now.

"Are you okay?" he asks quietly.

I open my eyes, not knowing they were closed, and Edward's staring down. Semi wet hair clings to his forehead. His mouth hangs open slightly. Pink cheeks show the restraint he's using. So do the white knuckles gripping the sheets on either side of my head.

"Fuck," he grunts quietly, stilling.

"Is it all the way in?" I ask. I hope.

He chuckles darkly. "Half way," he says, moving his hips more and another inch slides in.

"Oh," I gasp as he slips past a point and the burning pain turns into burning pleasure. "Just do it Edward. Please."

Edward breathes unevenly before pulling back slightly and thrusting forward heavily.

He grunts and falls to his elbows above me. My fingers grip and rip any skin I can reach. His shoulders, biceps, back, neck.

"You okay?" he pants in my ear.

My legs won't stop moving. He fills me to the brim.

"Tell me that's all," I joke.

"Almost," he says with a nod, looking down. "Jesus fucking Christ," he pants, leaning back up onto his palms.

I follow his eye sight from his chest to where we're connected. I can barely see anything, but what I do see is an inch or so of the base of his shaft proving that it's not all the way in.

"You look so good, baby. You should see yourself. Flushed cheeks, glassy eyes, hard nipples pressing into me. You were made for me, Bella." Edward leans down and kisses my collar bone, nipping my throat, whispering in my ear. "You're doing so well, Princess."

His words are everything I need. My hips gyrate against him as my body makes room for him inside. I need more and I need more now.

Reading my mind, he whispers, "are you ready for more, Bella?"

I nod.

"Tell me."

"I'm ready."

"Are you ready to take my cock?"

I nod again.

Edward pulls out almost all the way and my body relaxes in relief. But then he pushes in hard and strong, his pelvis against my clit. The gasp that pulls from my throat scratches all the way out.

"Fuck," we both moan.

Edward leans up and presses his thumb against my clit. He pushes and pulls, in and out, over and over.

I lose track of time, but when his thrusts become jerkier, sloppier, and this thumb presses harder against my clit, I squeeze his wrist in warning.

"I know, baby," he says. "You're doing so good."

"I'm going to come," I warn him, squeezing his wrist tightly as he rubs my clit faster.

"I can't wait," he pants, thrusting faster, harder.

"Yes!" I moan.

"I can feel your insides pulsing, Bella. Come for me. Come on my cock."

His words mixed with his thumb and the rhythm of his strokes send me in oblivion. He thrusts faster and harder, removing his thumb from my clit and fucking me through it.

I can't breathe, see, hear, or speak right now. I forget who I am, where I am. I can't think of anything but the knot inside snapping as I come against the fullness inside me.

"Fuck yes," Edward moans loudly. "Fuck I'm going to come." Edward thrusts a few more times before slamming against my finally. He swells inside me as he fills the condom.

He pulls out and cleans us up before wrapping us fully naked under the sheets.

In the darkness, both of us still panting, Edward whispers against my skin.

"Thank you," he says repeatedly.

"For what?"

"For everything."

~!~

The next morning, Edward's phone ring before the sun has even come up.

"What?" he spits into his phone. "Oh. You're sure?" he asks, sleep still coating his voice. "Call me with updates." And then he puts the phone down and sighs.

"Who was that, Edward?"

"Didyme."

"Does that mean—"

"It's happening today."