Brief Summary: For so long, he tried to earn her love and capture her heart. And now, in one moment, she realized that he had done so a long time ago. Oneshot. DeiKuro.
Yes, another one with this OC in it. I happen to like her, okay? I put a lot of work into her. You don't like her? Don't read the stories with her in them, then. Simple as that. And if you flame, you're a dead person. I warned you not to read it if you don't like this character. You still read it and don't like it, your fault, not mine.
If you are going to read this, then read The Birth Of Death. If you don't, some of the things in this story won't make sense to you.
And if you're going to review, don't just say something like "Awesome, I liked it," or "-insert line here- was a good line." That means NOTHING to me. It actually annoys me more than anything else. I don't appreciate short, stupid reviews telling me what I already know. I get a lot of reviews like that, and those are almost worse than no review at all. As a result, I don't like the people who put up those reviews very much. If you review and you aren't flaming, that generally means you like it. So unless you have a real review for me, don't bother.
Sorry if I sound harsh, but that junk gets tiresome after a while.
Now, if you're going to read, go ahead.
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Here By Me
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Alone again, once more by her choice. Midnight, in the rain. How she hated the downpour of water that soaked her, adding unnecessary weight to her body and clothes and slowing her movements. But out in the rain was the only place she had to go when she needed to be alone on nights like this. There was nowhere else. The main hall was likely empty and silent, but there was always the chance of one of the others coming down there with the same idea in mind that she had-time to themselves, to think. So, not wishing to have her thoughts interrupted, out in the rain was where she went.
In the grass underneath the tall oak tree, she was reminded of the days before Akatsuki, before leaving home. She had kept to herself, even then, never wanting to spend any time with the other children of her age group, never longing to join their games and laughter. Even then, she had been mistreated by everyone, hated by all the villagers and never accepted.
The only three people to ever accept her ended up leaving her alone, anyway. Anko gave up on her when she started teaching herself the Black Arts. She and Kakashi had fallen out after many heated arguments. And Shigeru...It still hurt to think about him. After all that, what else was there to do but stop feeling? Or try to, at least. But from time to time, all the pain of her entire lifetime came back just as strong as it had been before she started to block it out. Now and then, all that emotion she had discarded flooded back in an instant. Dissolving it again had always been easy, before. All she needed to do was remind herself that she was alone, that she would always be alone, and no matter how much she longed for acceptance, no matter what she did or who she became, she would never be good enough for anyone. She would never be anything less than a creature of the night that everyone feared and hated. But lately, it had gotten so much harder to forget those thoughts and emotions. And why? Because of him. Time and again, she would build up her defenses, shooting down anyone who tried to get close to her. But at one look from him, that shield crumbled to dust and she had to start over.
If I hate him so much, why is he always in my thoughts? Why can't I stop thinking about him? It was the question she often found herself asking, and she couldn't come up with an answer, or at least one that satisfied her. And it was the question that was running through her mind at this moment.
She sighed, running a clawed hand through her hair and removing the red elastic that kept it up and out of her now deep violet eyes, the cat-like ears she once possessed now gone. Gods, she was unused to looking so much like a human. As the black tresses fell down her back and around her shoulders, she remembered how shocked she had been when she found that Orochimaru had kept his promise and disposed of the side of her that was human. She wasn't a half-blood anymore. This was what she had lived for, what she had fought so long for. But when it all came down to it, she wasn't happy. She had thought that once she got the power she had wanted, she would at least be satisfied with her life as it was now. But she wasn't. Something was still missing.
She shook her head. Why was she thinking of him now? She hated him. He knew nothing about her, he didn't understand her. He was just like all the others. He had never accepted her, never would.
I
hope you're doing fine out there without me,
'Cause I'm not
doing so good without you.
The things I thought you'd never know
about me,
Were the things I guess you always understood.
So how
could I have been so blind for all these years?
I guess I only see
the truth through all this fear of living without you.
But if that was the case, why did he seem to care so much for her? No matter what she said to him, he just kept after her. Was it possible that he had accepted her all along, and she had just never noticed? Could it have been that, if she had paid more attention to all the things he said and did for her, it would have turned out that he didn't just accept her, he cared about her?
"Tch. Right. And Itachi is completely sane, Kakuzu's not obsessed with money, and Hidan isn't a religious sadist," she muttered sarcastically, fully aware that she was talking to herself. Of course she was talking to herself. Who else was around to talk to?
She shivered, starting to regret not bringing her cloak with her. The rain was showing no signs of letting up. Actually, it had only gotten worse since she left the hall. Her hair was plastered to her back and shoulders as a result of the downpour, and the driving rain continued to drench her, but she didn't even think of going back right now. She wasn't desperate to get out of the storm yet.
Suddenly, she felt something warm on her shoulders, keeping the rain off her. Reaching up, she felt the embroidered design of one of the signature red-and-white clouds that decorated their cloaks, and knew that he was here.
And
everything I have in this world,
And all that I'll ever be,
It
could all fall down around me,
Just as long as I have you right
here by me.
"You're gonna catch a cold out here, un," he said from behind her, standing a bit to the right, judging by the direction from which his voice came.
"No, I won't," she responded, not bothering to look back at him. "I've told you before, I'm different from you. Just because you would fall ill from staying out in the rain too long doesn't mean I will."
"Right, right. I always forget that you're not like us, un," he replied, sitting down beside her and saying nothing else.
She rolled her eyes. "Lying bastard."
He looked at her as if she had struck him. "I'm not lying, un. It's so easy to forget that you aren't like the rest of us. You don't seem so different, un."
She looked at him as though he was crazy. "If you're not lying, you're an idiot. How can it be so simple to forget that I'm not human? I sure as Hell don't look it!"
"You do now," he said truthfully, and she had to admit, he was right this time. She didn't look so different anymore. Her claws were the only remaining physical feature that clearly showed she wasn't human, at least that anyone could see. Her aura was distinctly demonic, her chakra too, but that wasn't exactly something someone could tell just by looking at her. And even though she wasn't a human, she still fought like one, because she had never been taught to fight any other way.
When she didn't speak, he blinked and gave her a strange look. "What? No scathing remarks, un? No insults? You're not going to hit me either?" She could see that he nearly hit himself when he realized that he had practically just reminded her to hit him.
Again, she didn't say anything.
"Okay...Now I know something's wrong with you," he muttered. She always hit him when he got her angry enough, and usually it didn't take much for him to upset her. But she hadn't touched him. She hadn't said anything. She hadn't even looked at him. In all reality, she didn't seem to be looking directly at anything, more looking through the trees ahead of her, where her eyes seemed to be locked.
Was she tuning him out, or had she simply forgotten he was there?
"Kuro-san?" He thought about tapping her on the shoulder to get her attention, but last time he had done that, the encounter hadn't ended well. He had been bleeding for hours afterwards.
"Why is it so hard for you just to leave me alone?" She spoke suddenly, startling him.
"Probably because I know what it's like to be alone, and that it's painful to not have anyone you can trust, un," he answered, not looking her in the eyes.
Her expression darkened considerably. "How can you possibly know what it's like? I've gone through every day of my life dealing with discrimination and disdainful glances from everyone I've ever met, simply because I'm not like them! I never missed the whispers and I always heard the rumours that spread about me. I never got any respect, and nobody has ever accepted me, not so much because of what I am, but because of what I'm not! How can you possibly understand that? What it's like to be treated like you're completely unimportant, like your life holds no value to anyone? How can you understand what that feels like?"
He looked at her, straight into her glaring, hate-filled eyes, and said, "Because I'm treated like that every day, by the one person who matters most."
She couldn't take that. He was so certain he understood her, when he understood nothing.
"Oh, really? And who would that be?" She stared at him with the disapproving look he had grown so accustomed to, but he didn't waver as he answered her.
"You."
I
can't take another day without you,
'Cause, baby, I could never
make it on my own.
I've been waiting so long just to hold you,
And
to be back in your arms where I belong.
I'm sorry I can't always
find the words to say,
But everything I've ever known gets swept
away
Inside of your love.
And
everything I have in this world,
And all that I'll ever be,
It
could all fall down around me,
Just as long as I have you right
here by me.
Her glare faded and she just stared at him, unable to find anything to say, eventually dropping her gaze to the grass. When she was silent and he was sure she wasn't going to say anything, he continued.
"I know how it feels to be hurt over and over, so much that you just want to stop feeling, un. So that it doesn't hurt anymore. But that's not human nature, it's not something we can do, un. And something tells me it's not your nature, either. It isn't something you can do. Because, like it or not, you're more like us than you think. You may not be human physically, but because you were raised as one, you act more like a human than a demon. I'm no expert, but I'm sure even demons can feel, un. I understand that you feel like you're alone. I do too. But it doesn't have to be like that, un. Just like you want to be accepted, so do I. I just want you to accept me. That's all."
She kept her eyes to the ground as she responded.
"How is it that you can understand me so well, when I never say so much as one word to you? How can you read so deeply into me like that?"
He gave a half-smile. It looked like he was finally getting somewhere.
"Because I took the time to get to know you, even if you didn't realize it. I wanted to know what you're really like, un. I knew that the way you wanted to appear couldn't have been who you really are. Most people think I can't understand subtle hints, but I'm not as stupid as I look. I know when someone's trying to hide something. I can tell when someone is lying."
"I see...I thought I had you figured out, but it looks like I knew less about you than you did about me," she muttered, startled when he wrapped his arm about her shoulders and drew her closer to him.
"What do you think you're-" She stopped herself when she realized that, right now, with him, that void she had been so painfully aware of for as long as she could remember had just been filled. All along, he had been what was missing. She had been so absorbed in her own unhappiness that she hadn't understood what he had been trying to tell her for so long.
As
the days roll on I see,
Time is standing still for me
When
you're not here.
I'm sorry I can't always find the words to
say.
Everything I've ever known gets swept away
Inside of
your love.
She understood now why he was always on her mind, and why he was impossible to forget. Even without conscious knowledge of it, she had fallen for him. The shields she had built up over and over again always fell apart around him because she cared about him. She wasn't alone because she loved him.
And
everything I have in this world,
And all that I'll ever be,
It
could all fall down around me,
Just as long as I have you right
here by me.
All this time she had been struggling for acceptance, he had already given her more than that. All this time that he had done everything he could to show her what she meant to him, and all this time she had ignored him, they had just kept missing each other.
"So...just for me to accept you. That's all you want?" For the first time, she gave him a sincere smile that he had never seen on her face before.
Smiling back, he just nodded.
And
everything I have in this world,
And all that I'll ever be
Leaning back against him, and resting her head on his shoulder, her smile didn't fade as she told him, "I think I can do that."
It
could all fall down around me,
Just as long as I have you right
here by me.
-Owari-
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Author's Note: Well, Dei-kun, looks like you finally got your girl. And it sure took you long enough!
Anyway, many thanks tomy Imouto-chan, Lackofname for being a fan of this pairing, and inspiring me to write more with them because she likes it so much. Because of that, I am dedicating this story to Lackofname. Why just her? Because I can, and because nobody else is worth mentioning. Except Kai, and she doesn't count. And why not? ...Good question. I'll get back to you on that one.
...The story's over. You can go now.
Oh, and push that little button in the bottom left corner on your way out. You know the one.
