Chapter Seventy-Five: More than I Love You
Kaoru's POV
After Hikaru woke me, I couldn't get back to sleep. Too much was on my mind. I spent the whole day and into the next night thinking. I had tried everything Yuki had suggested, and usually her plans worked, and I got nothing from Kimi. I didn't know what to do now. Hikaru told me to be myself, that didn't really help, especially when I had no clue what to do in the first place. How can you try to win someone back if they won't even speak to you?
Kimi wanted nothing to do with me and with good reason. I asked out Haruhi even though I was dating her. I didn't ask her out for me, I did it for Hikaru. She wouldn't have agreed to go out with him after what had happened with Arai. I was kind of surprised she agreed to go out with me. The idea was stupid, I know, but I had to help Hikaru. He needs to learn to open his world a little more and let more people in. I didn't mean to lose Kimi in the process. I didn't think it through. I didn't know how much she meant. I knew I liked her, but I didn't know she'd leave a gaping hole where my heart used to be when she broke up with me. I didn't know when she left me; she'd take my heart with her. How would I? Why would I?
I decided to leave Kimi be and give her space until I figured out a plan on my own to at least get her to talk to me. Forgiveness will come in time if she's willing to talk to me. And just maybe, maybe if she's willing to forgive me, I might be able to eventually get her back.
Takashi's POV
I checked on Hana one more time before I went to bed. It'd be a while before Sumi came up to check on her. Last time I passed by her she was watching Dead Poets Society with Reiko and Kimi. It'd be a little while before she came up to check on her, the movie still had a little while to go before it was over. Usually she was fine, soundly sleeping, holding her rabbit.I didn't expect today to be any different, but it was. She was up and crying into her rabbit. I went inside her room and sat down next to her.
"What's wrong?" I asked her.
She looked up at me and answered me with a question of her own, "Am I going to be given away?"
"What?"
"When you get married and have kids, am I going to be given away?" She asked. I was taken aback by the question, but at the same time, I understood a little in a sense why it would cross her mind. It wasn't about me or Sumi, well definitely not Sumi, it might have a little to do with me, but Hana's past would give her a lot to question about her future. She probably spent many years knowing that her original mother did not want her, that she left her at the orphanage, that the owner of the orphanage didn't want her. She was too young to separate the idea of what they did and who they were with us.
I shook my head, "No." And I kissed her head and put my arm around her, "You're not going anywhere. When I eventually marry your mother, I want to adopt you as well, if you'll let me."
"Really?"
I nodded, "Yeah."
"Why?"
"Because I love you." I replied simply, "Let's get you back to sleep; you have to wake up a little bit earlier tomorrow."
"Why?"
"Because you and I are going to go see The Little Mermaid on stage a few hours away from here while your mom's working." I told her. Sumi and I had been planning this for a little bit. We both agreed that it might be a good idea if I did something with Hana that was just me and her. Sumi bought her a new dress and picked out the musical, I took care of the rest.
"Really?"
"Yeah." I smiled, "But you can't go, if you don't go back to sleep. You'll be too tired to go."
"How?" She asked, "Mommy's the one who usually…"
I nodded, "I know, but I think I can too, at least for tonight anyway."
"You know any songs?"
"A couple." I replied.
She leaned in closer, "Will you sing me one?"
"Yeah." I smiled and started to sing Father and Daughter by Paul Simon.
When I finished the song, she was about to fall asleep.
"Sweet dreams, Hana." I kissed her head and tucked her in.
"Night, daddy." She replied, before falling asleep. I looked down at her happily surprised; she's never called me that.
'I'm a dad.' I thought, smiling.
When I came out, I saw Sumi, her eyes were watery and she had a soft smile starting to form on her face. I walked over to her, pulled her close to me, and hugged her.
Sumi's POV
Hana had called Takashi her dad and he was ready to be him. I could tell when he walked out that not only was he ready, he wanted more than anything to be him. After listening to them and him holding me the way he was now, I wanted him to be him. I wanted him to be her father. I wanted to marry him. I wanted to marry Takashi.
"Takashi?" I asked.
"Hm?" He asked, looking down.
"Marry me."
Takashi's POV
I looked down at her surprised. Is this what she had meant when she said she wouldn't refuse my next proposal? No, knowing her, she'd probably say maybe. This definitely wasn't something I was expecting and she was serious too. And I want to marry her. I've been waiting for the right time to ask. Although at this point, I don't care who asks who, I just want to be married to her.
"Okay." I nodded.
Kyoya's POV
"Do you want to go back to the bed and breakfast?" I asked Yuki.
Yuki and I were lying on the bed, talking, in the room I usually used when my family used to come here. This place hadn't been used since my mother was alive. We didn't keep it staffed because of how infrequently it was used; it was very rare for any of us to really come here. I guess it reminded my father too much of her. I don't remember her; I remember the idea of her, but not her. Akito and Yuuchi remembered her, so did Fuyumi, probably more than my brothers, but they were also older when she passed. According to Akito, she loved Karuizawa, father bought the house for her and hasn't stepped foot in it since she died. Fuyumi and I would come here from time to time when I was younger; I guess it was her way of getting to know her, maybe spark a memory of some sort. It never did.
She shook her head, "Not really."
"You know you have to talk to them eventually." I pointed out.
"I know." She sighed, "A couple more days?"
"Two more days" I nodded, "and then we go back."
She nodded, "Okay." She moved closer to me and rested her head on my chest, "Kyo?"
"Yeah?"
"I know I haven't said this yet, but thank you."
"For what?"
"Coming after me." She replied softly before falling asleep.
I smiled softly and kissed her head, "Of course."
Reiko's POV
When I got back to the room, Mitsu was already sleeping. I shook my head lightly smiling, I wasn't surprised, he had the ability to fall asleep faster, sooner, and easier than I ever could. I changed and got into bed with him.
"You're in late…" He said tiredly. He was as easy to wake up as he was to fall asleep.
"I'm sorry, did I wake you?"
"Yeah, but it's okay." He replied, pulling me closer to him.
"I'm sorry I woke you."
"I don't mind." He replied, "How was the movie?"
"Brilliant and sad, but it always is."
He wiped a stray tear from my cheek. I thought I had gotten them all. Dead Poets Society always made me cry. "If it makes you cry, why do you like it so much?"
"Because it's good." I replied, "I think it's supposed to make you cry. It's supposed to make you feel something that's what good movies do. Do you tear up when Aladdin sets free Genie?"
"Yeah, a little."
"Or what about when Pocahontas says farewell to John Smith?"
"I know you do." He replied, "I feel a little sad."
"You cry as much as I do."
"When it's just you and me."
"That's true." I agreed. He didn't really cry when it was just the group of us. There were some parts of his host character that when we left the club, it got left behind with the room. He loved cute things, he loved cake, he loved animated movies and childrens movies, but he was still a man. He may not be tall and he may look much younger than he is, but he is a man. He is a guy, not a little kid. And luckily for me, he was my man and I was going to be married to him.
"Whatcha thinkin about?"
"That Reiko Hanniozuka has a nice ring to it." I replied resting my head on his chest, "I really like the sound of it."
"I like it too." He replied, resting his head on mine. We both fell asleep like that.
Kimi's POV
After the movie, I couldn't sleep. I sat by the window and looked out at the moon. I've read five books, watched twelve movies, two musicals, and played seven games of Life since I broke up with Kaoru, the day before yesterday, and here I was staring up at the moon as if it had all of the answers in all of the world.
I didn't want to know the meaning of life, I've already found out it's apparently 42. I still don't understand why it's 42, but that's the answer I've found. Why that specific number? Why couldn't it have been something like 525,600? That's how many minutes are in a year. Or just the number 525,000, the several different moments one has in a year, moments built up on one another that could make a life memorable and worthwhile.
I didn't want answers to my love life. Love is a disease and we are all crazy fools in it, and yet it is what we all need, for what is life without love? Life and love are practically spelled the same except for two of the letters.
I wasn't looking for how to fix things with Kaoru or if I wanted to, I was trying to avoid the second question at all costs, I didn't know yet and as to the first, there's nothing for me to fix, I'm not the one to blame. I knew that he did it for Hikaru. I knew that he didn't go on the date and Hikaru did, but Hikaru can get his own damn dates, he could get his own girlfriend, why screw up our relationship? Although, who really thinks about me, or any of the other girls, when Haruhi is around? It's not that I don't like Haruhi, well right now I wasn't too fond of her, but I don't want to be the last thought with my friends or second best with my own boyfriend, who I was disowned for seeing.
My question to the moon, the stars, the galaxy, and to heaven and Olympus, above was a bit of a contradiction, it was a simple question and yet so complicated at the same time. It was only five little words, easy to ask, but I still hadn't found the answer yet: Was it all worth it? Were my choices I made to be here worth everything I'm feeling now?
I don't know was the only answer I could come up with, and from the looks of it, the skies had no answer for me either.
