Author's Notes: Heh…((crawls underneath her now infamous rock)) I'm SOOOO sorry for how long this has taken me you guys! ((wails and glomps all of her readers in apology)) I just…lost track of time, majorly. I think a part of the problem was that I was revising some old chapters, and just didn't realize that it had been since May when I last updated! I know if I was a reader reading this, and not the author I'd probably be sitting there tapping my foot impatiently for an update as well! ((cowers)) Between how crazy my work schedule has been recently, being sick, and writer's block I just kind of put this update off. I wasn't too sure how I wanted the next few chapters of this to go, so I decided to take some time and look ahead of my plotness for this fic and see just exactly where I wanted to go so I didn't write myself into a dead end…I also had some kinks with this chapter and the next (which is currently being written as we speak and hopefully won't take so long to update!) because there were some things I wasn't one hundred percent of the way sure on if I wanted to actually do what I was planning to do. However, I can say that all those things have been successfully taken care of, and while I can't say exactly what the kinks were that I was working out (for it would give away the story plot for sure, and then were would I be?) and that the chapters should start coming out without a huge as a delay like this one had! For those of you reading Confessions who haven't checked it out yet, that fic is now updated and I'm also working on Forevermore's next update as well! So I do believe that now you all want to go and read this lovely chapter that I've got up here for you. I must say here and now that I need to apologize once more for the lack of Takoujiness in this chapter ((crawls further underneath her hiding rock)) but I do promise that it's coming, really and truly it is! I just felt that I had to focus on some of the other's for this chapter and I'm sure that you'll all understand what I'm saying here when you're finished reading this!
One last thing before I let everyone go is that I should warn you is that a lot happens in this chapter, and some parts of it might be confusing-but remember, I've technically got them in a dream world now, so anything can happen and everything is possible…
Warnings: This fic contains slashiness and AU so if you're not a fan of either/or then I suggest you hit the wonderful back button to the top left of your page there and run far, far away…
Pairings: Takuya/Kouji and strong hints of Junpei/Izumi
Time Setting: Season 04 AU w/tons of Takoujiness implied!
Different Journey's
Author: Angel Spirit
Chapter 24: Welcome To My Nightmare Arc-part III-Eternal Darkness
"I think we need to get him out of here Junpei, and maybe you can try and explain what's going on once we're in a safer place?" She suggested, and Junpei agreed as he gently scooped Kouji up into his arms. Their friend didn't even stir at the sudden movement. Looking at Izumi and making sure that she was alright, she nodded and gave him the thumbs up signal.
Together they continued to move away from the alleyway, and as they did so, the scenery around them changed once again…as Kouji suddenly cried out in pain…
And completely disappeared.
Both Izumi and Junpei were stunned as they suddenly realized that their friend was missing. One second he'd been in Junpei's arms, and the next…gone. Vanished…
As though he'd never been with them in the first place.
"J-Junpei…?" Izumi stammered, as Junpei shook his head-already knowing the question that she was going to ask-as the very same question of how in the hell Kouji's sudden vanishing act had happened, and at the same time not having an answer for it. He was just as astonished and frustrated as she was.
"He was just here…he was just here, and now he's not here!" The brunette shouted angrily, having fallen down to his knees as he started pounding the ground with a fist to vent out some of the frustration he was feeling. Oh, sure he knew that in the end it wouldn't really help him any but at the same time-it was either that or screaming out into the black nothingness that he and Izumi were now surrounded by.
"The moment Kouji disappeared the darkness took over…is…is Kouji the only one of us who can defeat this dark maze?" Izumi asked wearily as she sank down next to him after he'd slowed his punches, as Junpei shook his head.
"I have no idea Izumi. I really don't…but…now we're stuck here, and I don't see anyway out anytime soon. " The blonde haired teen frowned as her companion suddenly sounded so down and gloomy, but in a way she could see exactly why he was feeling that way.
The cold that came with the sudden darkness was almost excruciating, and Izumi found herself shivering…wondering if Junpei felt the chill as much as she did.
Apparently he did, because he sat up moments later, shaking his head once more as he let out a soft sigh.
"Maybe…maybe we're stuck here because we've already gone through what the other's need to go through? Maybe we're being held here by that dark Digimon that Kouji and I ran into earlier…" Izumi eyed Junpei curiously, wondering if he was talking about the same dark Digimon that she had ran into while going through her own hideous nightmare.
"Did-did the Digimon you're talking about look part human, was wearing all sorts of dark and horrible armor, and had eyes that reminded you of Kouji's?" Doing a double take at the exact description that Izumi's trembling voice had given, Junpei nodded…and suddenly saw how cold she looked.
Frowning at the situation that the two of them were in, Junpei opened his arms and Izumi quite willingly (and rather quickly) maneuvered her shivering body into them.
"At least we're together and we can keep each other warm." Junpei murmured into her ear, as Izumi nodded thoughtfully.
"So we've all ran into this dark Digimon…those of us who have gone through 'nightmares'—or something horrible in general that's happened in our lives that we don't ever want to think of again." This time, it was Junpei who nodded at Izumi assessment, and as the blond knew that Junpei was listening to her thoughts she continued on.
"So that must mean that since you and I have both seen him then that we're done…right? Nothing else will happen to us here in this darkness?" Shrugging, Junpei wished that he could say yes to Izumi's question.
Unfortunately, he really didn't think so as another thought came to mind and he added it to Izumi's own.
"But Kouji's seen the dark Digimon too and I don't think that he's gone through his nightmare-or something resembling his nightmare-yet. At least he didn't say anything about it and he didn't seem as shaken up when I met him and while I believe that Kouji's really good at hiding his emotions, I don't think he's that good. You and I both had a pretty good scare with our nightmare's reoccurring. If what that dark Digimon does is pull out the worst that's happened to us…then I'd hate to see what he does to Kouji, Takuya, and Tomoki. Poor kid…" Junpei murmured, thinking suddenly of Tomoki. He was the youngest of them all…
And both teens had the feeling that since they'd been alone in their own horrible ordeal, that their other friends would be too.
Izumi sat up suddenly in Junpei's arms and his grip loosened a little around her as she turned to face him, her dark blue eyes opened wide with horror.
"Junpei…Junpei, that's why Kouji disappeared on us!" As Junpei shook his head, telling her that he didn't understand, Izumi grabbed a tight hold of his shoulder's with both of her hands-squeezing tight enough to get his full attention.
"Kouji suddenly disappeared because he's going through whatever horrible thing he's afraid of most by himself! It's a trend, a pattern…we all must conquer our greatest fear by ourselves." Junpei tried to take this all in and assess it, but some of it didn't make sense.
"So if Kouji was taken from us because it's his turn?" Izumi nodded, and Junpei sighed as he ran a hand through his hair.
"But you and I are stuck here together…it doesn't make sense…I don't see why when Kouji disappeared, that this dark Digimon separated the two of us as well since it's obvious he just loves to try and cause pain and suffering to others-hence the whole nightmare part, right?" This time all Izumi did was shrug and sigh as she settled herself back into Junpei's arms.
"I don't know…" She muttered, and groaned.
"I wish that Bokomon and Neemon were here-Bokomon at the least, could give us information that we don't have! I just want to make sense of the situation that we're in, and with what we're dealing with!" The blonde teen growled, and Junpei chuckled softly suddenly as he ran a hand through her hair. She turned once more-but this time only slightly, enough so that she could playfully glare at him-and was still in his warm embrace.
"And what's so funny mister?" Izumi demanded, as Junpei chuckled once more and shook his head.
"That little growl of yours…you sounded like a tiny kitten ready to jump on a ball of yarn or something." He told her with a playful wink of his own as Izumi 'humphed' and crossed her arms over her chest, lifting her head up in defiance as she started to sit up and out of Junpei's embrace.
"Well fine, be that way! See if I'll cuddle with you for the rest of the time that we're stuck here in this miserable, cold darkness…" Junpei snorted.
"Yeah, right, I'll give you a total of oh…probably one minute, give or take before you come crawling back to me." He retorted gently as Izumi eyed him with a mischievous glint as she crawled back to him once more.
"Really? One minute or less?" She murmured as she lightly kissed him and Junpei's eyes opened wide as his arms encircled around her waist.
"Yes…one…minute or…less…" He replied back as he kissed her back in return. Izumi found herself giggling, despite the situation that they were in.
"You know…there's one good thing about this darkness." Izumi whispered as Junpei kissed her gently once more and quirked an eyebrow when he pulled back just a bit so that his dark brown eyes could drink in her full appearance…everything from her tousled blond hair down to the white shoes she wore.
"Really? And what pray tell, is this darkness good for?" This time Izumi's eyebrow arched slightly as she smirked while she started to undo Junpei's snaps to his dark blue jumpsuit.
"I think I'd much rather show you than tell you." Izumi whispered once more, as she kissed Junpei fully again before he shuddered and ran his hands through her blonde hair…
"Junpei you dolt, let go of me and wake up!" Junpei sat up, startled as he glanced wildly around his surroundings-and blushed in embarrassment when he'd realized that he'd fallen asleep on his watch duty, and had moved closer to Izumi while he'd slept. In fact, he his arms had just now been wrapped around her petite body, before she'd woken up and found him asleep...cuddling her...and screeched out in alarm at how close together they really had been.
"Sorry Z…I…I fell…fell asleep…" The brunette muttered as he ran a hand through his tousled hair and glanced over in the direction that Kouji lay in.
After having gotten out of the alleyway, they'd traveled as far away from it in the darkness as they could before both teens had to stop and rest. Izumi was still worn out from having conquered her nightmare…whatever it had been, as she had yet to actually tell Junpei what it was (and of course, she didn't know what his was either so he called it even at that point. If Izumi chose to tell him what happened to her then he figured he might as well do the same and continue to hold her trust that she'd put in him)…and Junpei himself was getting tired of holding a feverish Kouji.
So they'd settled down to rest for awhile…and Izumi had fallen asleep not too long after they'd stopped. Junpei, not having the heart to wake her, had allowed her to continue sleeping as he told himself that he'd stay alert and on guard in case any bad Digimon came their way. Unfortunately for Junpei, that plan hadn't gone too well…
What had just happened to me was all a dream…but…it all seemed so very real. It really did seem as though Kouji had disappeared on us and that we…Izumi and I had…had…Junpei shook his head to clear it as he tried to focus on what it was Izumi was fuming about now.
"I said that I was sorry Z!" He cried out, feeling exasperated at himself that he'd even allowed himself to fall asleep at a time like this. He was the only one with a Spirit…Izumi could no longer Spirit Evolve now that Grumblemon had her Spirit and she'd used up the rest of her energy protecting Kouji from Takuya when he'd turned all freaky on them in getting his Beast Spirit. While Kouji did have both his Beast Spirit, and his Human Spirit he was down for the count at the moment-and Junpei doubted that he'd be able to Spirit Evolve anytime soon anyway.
What good is it to have both Spirits when you can hardly use them? Junpei's thoughts cried out to him as he glanced over at Kouji's prone figure that shivered in the darkness, and sighed.
Maybe I don't want my Beast Spirit after all…so far, they only seem to bring us bad luck! First Kouji nearly dies on us in getting his, and then Takuya goes all evil on us and only Kouji could snap him out of it! But for what price! As now we're all split up and stuck in the middle of some weird nightmarish world…
It was true, the Digital World didn't even feel like the Digital World. They seemed to be living one nightmare after the other, running from one dream to the next.
If I dreamed that strongly while I was asleep for that small time frame, I wonder if Kouji's dreaming-and if he is, is it good or bad?
"Earth to Junpei…are you with me here?" Brown eyes blinked a few times as they focused on Izumi's manicured hand as it waved back and forth while she tried to get his attention-a small look of worry appearing on her face.
"You spaced out. Penny for your thoughts?" Izumi quietly asked, as Junpei only shrugged and hesitated for a brief second before sharing part of what he had been thinking with his blonde comrade…his eyes trained on Kouji though as he did so.
"I was just wondering…you know, when I was asleep, I dreamed. And it was so real-that when you woke me up, I was shocked to see that what I'd been dreaming about wasn't really happening now." Nodding, Izumi knew what Junpei meant. She'd been dreaming as well-and had found very much the same thing when she'd woken up a few minutes before Junpei had. She'd taken those few minutes to gather her thoughts, and get her wits back together.
"Kouji's been out of it for quite awhile…and I'm wondering if we should try and wake him. Who knows what could be haunting him in his sleep?" Junpei finally finished, and Izumi sighed…she'd been wondering the same thing really…if they should try and wake Kouji up. He had yet to actually stir, yet to show any signs of having any kind of nightmare. But…that didn't mean that he wasn't having one.
"From what I can figure out so far Junpei, is that you and I are the only two who have gone through our own nightmares. I can't say anything for Takuya or Tomoki since they're not here with us, but I somehow know that Kouji hasn't gone through his. And this darkness is starting to take a toll on him…that much I can tell." What Izumi had just said, reminded Junpei of something that the dark Digimon who he and Kouji had dealt with before meeting up with the petite blonde, had spoken of.
"Now that you mention it Z, some creepy Digimon who was with me in my nightmare when Kouji came around said something about Kouji being the child of light. Kouji had told me afterwards, that Ophanimon had said the same exact thing before that and he didn't know the meaning of it…" Allowing his voice to trail off, Junpei looked to Izumi to see if she had any thoughts of her own to add to what he'd said, and she did.
"So maybe if Kouji's the child of light…then that could be a reason why the darkness is effecting him so much. Maybe he's sick, because the darkness is making him sick." She pondered, as her bright blue eyes caught hold of Junpei's own eyes and stayed there.
"So in order for Kouji to get better, then we need to get him out of this darkness." Izumi nodded sharply.
"That would be the point. Though I'm still wishing that Bokomon and Neemon were here with us-Bokomon could at least tell us if we were thinking in the right direction and-" a sudden gasp cut Izumi off as the two teens turned to see that Kouji's eyes had snapped open, light beads of sweat tricked down his forehead, and he lay huddled in a ball looking very much like a child who'd lost his mother.
In Kouji's case at the moment however, that couldn't be far from the truth.
"Mama?" He whimpered, huddling tighter into a ball as Junpei frowned in concern while Izumi headed over towards Kouji, kneeling down next to his shivering body seconds later.
"Kouji? Are you okay, can you hear me?" Izumi whispered as soothingly as she could while she reached out and gently placed her palm against Kouji's cheek-and gasped.
While it looked as though Kouji was burning with fever, his skin was really icy cold to the touch.
"Kouji?" Kouji groaned, apparently not having heard Izumi cry out his name at all as his arms wrapped themselves tightly around his stomach.
"Mama please…make it stop hurting, make it go away…I miss you so much…mama…" This time Junpei came to kneel next to Kouji as well and looked over at Izumi with the same look of concern that he held before.
"I think we need to try and find a way out of here. He's only getting worse-and until we can find someone to help us out, we're on our own. I only hope that Kouji's strong enough to go through what he has to go through…and that it's not worse than what either of us had to endure." Izumi nodded as she awkwardly stood, fighting a small blush when she suddenly realized how close that she was standing next to Junpei. If Junpei registered just how close together they were (once again), he didn't comment on it. Instead, he quickly scooped Kouji up in his arms and nodded towards his left.
"I think that was the direction that we were heading originally, though with all this infernal darkness, I'm not sure if I'm right or not…I don't even know at this point in time, if this darkness has an ending." Izumi sighed, knowing what Junpei meant, and exactly how he felt.
She'd never really had a fear of the dark when she was a little kid-though she knew a lot of her other peers had that fear and had always wondered why she'd never shared that fear with them. Now though…
Izumi gently bit down on her lower lip as she wrapped her arms around herself, giving herself a one way hug.
Now though, she knew that she very well might be afraid of the darkness for a very long time. But after this…at least she'd have a reason as to why.
"I just have to think happy thoughts…just have to think of happy times…I'm not all alone…I'm not alone, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not!" Tomoki kept on whimpering to himself as he continued to plow on through the never ending darkness.
But truth be told…he was alone. As he'd always been alone.
And that thought in itself, scared him to death. He didn't like being alone. He didn't want to be alone…being alone was a fear that hadn't left him since he'd been three years old and his older brother Yutaka had thought that it would be funny to suddenly disappear on him in the park one cloudy afternoon.
Tomoki remembered that he'd been playing in the sandbox, and Yutaka had been swinging on the swings with another kid his age that he'd met at the park. Yutaka had promised their mother, that he'd watch over Tomoki and make sure that he was never alone.
But Yutaka had broken his promise-even if, in the end, it had all been nothing but a horrible prank on Yutaka's part. When Tomoki had looked up at one point from the sand castle that he'd been making, only to see that Yutaka was nowhere in sight he had panicked.
At first he had thought that he'd merely not looked hard enough, and so his three year old self had gone wandering through the playground and most of the park itself, looking for his older brother. He'd gotten teased by the older kids as each second had passed and tears of frustration and fear had started to make their appearance. Many of the older kids calling him nothing but a 'big baby'.
And just when Tomoki had been ready to burst into tears, his brother had appeared with a look of mock-horror on his face…
Telling Tomoki that he needed to start growing up, to start depending on himself…that when he got older, in the end he'd be alone and no one would be there for him.
Tomoki had told him at the time that that wasn't true-still told him that today every time they had that argument. And it was a constant one brought up…making Tomoki had Yutaka more and more each time Yutaka started that fight. Usually when Yutaka brought it up, Tomoki would find some way to escape. He didn't want Yutaka telling him that he'd end up alone because he was such a cry-baby, because he wasn't as strong as his big brother.
And while a part of Tomoki wanted to believe that Yutaka wasn't as strong as he said that he was, Tomoki realized that not once, had he ever seen Yutaka cry. Usually Yutaka was the bully, and never the other way around…whether it was Tomoki himself who he was bullying, or some other poor defenseless kid it always seemed as though Yutaka came out as the victor. Always leaving with that self-satisfied smirk on his face.
Tomoki fell to his knees, his hands pressed hard against the ground that the darkness surrounding him consumed.
Was Yutaka finally right? He was truly alone…all alone…no matter how hard he looked, or whatever direction that he ran too in hopes to find Izumi, Junpei, Kouji, or Takuya…he'd find no one.
It would still just be him.
Alone.
The fear ate at him, clogged his mind and closed his thoughts. Even though Tomoki shook his head many times and tried to force himself to stand, he knew he couldn't.
His greatest fear was coming true…and there was nothing he could do to stop it. The darkness went on and on forever…there didn't seem to be an end to it, and Tomoki didn't want to stay in the darkness any longer. The darkness seemed to be creeping up on him, and taking him over.
I should be brave, I should be strong…I have a spirit…I'm a Digimon…I could probably kick the shit out of Yutaka now if I wanted to! Hurt him for all the times that he's hurt me…
You could hurt anyone for all the times that they've hurt you Tomoki…just think…with all the power you possess, and can possess, you could become the strongest Digimon that any of your friends have ever seen. You could crush Yutaka in the palm of your hands if you wanted too. All you have to do, is allow the darkness to consume you…
That voice…the voice whispered into his mind, filled Tomoki's head with thoughts that he knew he shouldn't listen to.
But…why?
Why shouldn't he listen to those thoughts? They were right, weren't they, each and every single one of them were right. Anybody he'd ever come across in his life had hurt him at one point in time or other, be it emotionally or physically-from Yutaka to…to…
No. No, he's never hurt me! He's like a brother to me! Tomoki's mind screamed out, he tried to speak the thought, but no words would come out and Tomoki was now paralyzed with fear.
Takuya's hurt you too. They've all hurt you! Takuya's like a brother to you-or so you say-and yet, he's not here to protect you. No…he's probably off protecting Kouji, not caring where you are or what's happening to you as long as he's got Kouji safe and sound in his arms. Kouji's probably telling Takuya not to come after you because he-like Yutaka-thinks that you're a big boy now and can handle yourself…that you don't need anyone to help you, since you've got a spirit like they do and therefore, you should be as strong as them.
Tomoki shook his head, trying to ignore the dark voice that seemed to boom around his mind-drowning his own thoughts out.
Kouji would never think of me like that, he'd never say anything like that at all! If Takuya wanted to come looking for me, Kouji would probably offer to go along with him! As much as Tomoki tried to believe that thought though, he suddenly frowned.
What if…what if the voice was right? What if what the voice was telling him, was true? Kouji hadn't taken a liking to him, Junpei, and especially Izumi when they first met. What if Kouji was trying to keep Takuya all to himself? Tomoki looked up to Takuya-had immediately started thinking him as a better brotherly figure than Yutaka had ever been, just days after having met him. There was just something about Takuya, that made Tomoki want to be around him all the time…a part of him yearned for Takuya to be Yutaka's replacement…he'd give anything to have an older brother like Takuya.
Are you going to let Kouji get away with doing that…? Ruining the chance of having someone on your side for once, sticking with you through thick and thin? Ask Shinya…Takuya's younger brother if you ever get a chance, he could tell you what an awesome older brother that Takuya is…always there for him, they rarely get into any arguments and if they do it's usually made up on the same day. Takuya's a much better older brother…but…if Kouji's there, he'll just get in the way. He'll keep Takuya allllllll to himself…leaving you out in the cold once more…alone…
Don't you want to be alone Tomoki?
NO! Thinking that one single word as loud as he could, Tomoki fought the tears that threatened to flow. He wasn't going to be a cry baby…he was not. And he wasn't going to listen to anything that dark voice was telling him either! Kouji was a good friend so far-and Takuya loved Kouji! Tomoki would never try to hurt anyone his Oniichan loved…right?
Are you right?
I've got Junpei and Izumi as friends too, and they've been here for me since we got into this world! Tomoki thought triumphantly, a small smile forming on his lips as he suddenly thought of them.
The dark voice in his mind growled in frustration-apparently it hadn't been counting on him to remember them.
Do you? You can see how much they like each other, those feelings grow stronger every day! Think about it Tomoki…you're the odd one out-again. You always are, always have been, always will be. Just like me…I know how you feel…I've felt that feeling all to often. Look around you shrimp…Izumi and Junpei will fall happily in love, and maybe even get married someday and have kids of their own…they could care less about you! And Takuya and Kouji have already paired up…so where does that leave you kid? Just like me…alone
Who are you? What do you want from me, why are you tormenting me? As Tomoki questioned this, he glanced up when he saw a figure start approaching him through the darkness…and Tomoki gasped. The eyes…the eyes were a very familiar dark blue gray color, and Tomoki knew that he'd seen them before. The Digimon standing before him was part human…had a human-like appearance, with dark body armor covering every inch of his body…he also had a helmet covering his facial features-save for his eyes that seemed to shine through the darkness. The dark Digimon carried a staff with him, a dark black crystal sat comfortably on top of it.
Who am I? I am the Digimon of Darkness…that is all you need to know for now. And why am I tormenting you? I am not tormenting you young Tomoki, but you are tormenting yourself. Let me help you cease this tormenting…I hate to see one suffer so. Take my hand Tomoki, and this will all stop…I promise.
Really?
Really and truly…it'll stop…just take my hand…that's it…good boy…Tomoki frowned as he started to reach out towards the dark armored Digimon, and then hesitated. He hated being called a "good boy," even when his mother called him that…he wasn't sure why, maybe because it was usually praising words for when a dog did something well, and he was no dog-he was just a kid, looking for a place to belong in this world.
But was this really the place where he wanted to be?
TAKE MY HAND! The command was a sharp crack in his mind, and Tomoki nearly cried out as his body suddenly lurched forward, becoming unfrozen as his hand quickly grasped the dark Digimon's own before he could snatch it back.
The smile that the dark Digimon let out, was suddenly nerving to Tomoki and it caused him to shiver as his head started to spin. Or maybe the reason why he was shivering, was because the Digimon's hand that encased his own small one, was icy cold to the touch.
What have I done? Tomoki cried out in his mind, having not been able to figure out why he couldn't speak. Tomoki was to busy worrying about other things, that he did not quite realize the 'pact' that he had just made. And the effects that this pact would have not only on himself, but his friends as well.
Do you want revenge on all the one's who have hurt you Tomoki? Especially him? Tomoki nodded, at the dark Digimon's question-his thoughts suddenly coming to him in a jumble, as though his mind wasn't really his at all anymore…he felt…confused…
The Digimon standing tall before him, let a knowing smirk cross his lips.
Then embrace the darkness…my darkness, is now yours as well…All that could be heard for miles through the never ending darkness, was a scream full of terrified pain…
And then all was silent once more.
TBC
End Note: Yes, I know, I'm an evil horrible person for leaving it there but I promise the next chapter is being worked on! Kudo's once again to my beta reader Sailor Epyon for making this chapter all nice and pretty for you guys to read! Don't hesitate to leave a review...((gives readers innocent looking puppy dog eyes))
